WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:07.799 Tuesday mornings, if you asked me six months ago, were 2 00:00:07.839 --> 00:00:09.960 meant for card games at the Senior Center, or perhaps 3 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:12.039 a stroll to the bakery across from my apartment block. 4 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:15.679 I didn't expect to find myself pacing for softly lit galleries, 5 00:00:15.720 --> 00:00:18.000 counting the click of my shoes against col missake tiles. 6 00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:20.519 But retirement, as my daughter keeps reminding me, is as 7 00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:23.239 much about invention as it is about letting go. So 8 00:00:23.399 --> 00:00:25.960 here I was, second Tuesday of April, unlocking the side 9 00:00:25.960 --> 00:00:28.600 door door City's faded Regional Museum, te mug in hand, 10 00:00:28.719 --> 00:00:31.679 my breath dispersing in the hush. There's a particular sort 11 00:00:31.719 --> 00:00:34.799 of silence I've noticed that belongs only to museums, something 12 00:00:34.840 --> 00:00:37.759 attentive in it, as if every doorway abolished, glass cases, listening, 13 00:00:37.880 --> 00:00:41.039 waiting for the next for full or excommission. Some mornings, 14 00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:43.240 I tell myself this feeling is only because the building 15 00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:45.320 is old and a little drafty. But today, as I 16 00:00:45.399 --> 00:00:47.840 rounded the main corridor and stepped into the central gallery, 17 00:00:47.880 --> 00:00:49.439 I felt, for just a moment, as though I had 18 00:00:49.439 --> 00:00:52.880 walked into someone else's memory. He noticed the mural at once. 19 00:00:53.640 --> 00:00:56.159 The first time I entered as a volunteer Simon ever, Chip, 20 00:00:56.200 --> 00:00:59.439 already in the morning, told me orientation doesn't matter. Everyone 21 00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:02.399 oriented by the neural. That's true. It dominates the far 22 00:01:02.520 --> 00:01:05.040 wall ten meters from one graceful marble column to the next, 23 00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:08.280 encapsulating nearly the whole city shore line and downtown cranes 24 00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:11.760 and old warehouses, arking bridges, the relentless river bending inland 25 00:01:11.799 --> 00:01:14.840 like an elbow. In all my decades teaching history, I'd 26 00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:17.400 never tired of using that painting as a backdrop for lessons. 27 00:01:17.560 --> 00:01:19.439 Here you can see the city before the old bridge. 28 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:21.719 H that's the square after the great fire. Let's talk 29 00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:25.040 about widely rebuilding brick This morning, though I stopped at 30 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:28.400 the gallery threshold, something felt, I want to say, taller. 31 00:01:28.959 --> 00:01:31.519 The spire from the old municipal building, normally dwarfed by 32 00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:33.640 the post war office block, seemed to reach hire into 33 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:37.319 the painted sky, nearly brushing at imagined clouds. I stood 34 00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:39.840 mug nearly at my lips, staring at that elegant brickwork. 35 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:42.480 The small park to the left. It had always always 36 00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:45.079 nestled on the south bank, past the willow trees right, 37 00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:47.680 but now to my left he crept up the north 38 00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:51.280 side framed by Storferens. I couldn't recall stranger still, as 39 00:01:51.319 --> 00:01:53.560 I walked closer, A cluster of rowboats at the river 40 00:01:53.640 --> 00:01:56.560 side slip seemed to have rearranged themselves too, painted a fresh, 41 00:01:56.680 --> 00:01:59.719 impossible orange sword you'd never see on the regular ferry fleet. 42 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:03.359 Was I mixing up details? Perhaps I'd been gone too 43 00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:06.879 long between shifts, but I'm not prone to misremembering places 44 00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:09.759 or shape's teaching history de Mand's careful eyes. After all, 45 00:02:10.319 --> 00:02:12.840 Miss s Ellison passed behind me with her rolling hoop back, 46 00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:15.120 saying to herself, as she did every morning to day, 47 00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:17.960 a warble bit of coal porter. She didn't pause at 48 00:02:17.960 --> 00:02:20.520 the mural, simply called good morning, Edith, tea in the 49 00:02:20.599 --> 00:02:23.400 lounge if you haven't got yours, and drifted past without 50 00:02:23.400 --> 00:02:25.919 a glance. At my confusion, I chalked up my UN's 51 00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:28.159 certainty to pus sleep. But even after I had hummed 52 00:02:28.159 --> 00:02:30.719 my coat and become prepping the guests within the plastic nametags, 53 00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:33.479 the impression of difference pressed at me. Had there always 54 00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:35.520 been a curving foot bath line with cherry trees above 55 00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:38.400 the old foundry building? Weren't those apartments supposed to be 56 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:41.680 low and brown rather than six stories in Vassi. I 57 00:02:41.719 --> 00:02:43.719 stood in front of the mural for nearly three minutes. 58 00:02:43.840 --> 00:02:47.159 I suppose, long enough for mister Park, grizzled and stoke 59 00:02:47.199 --> 00:02:49.199 in his uniform, to sweep by and motter. You'll go 60 00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:51.960 cross eyed if you stay too long at the behemoth Edith, 61 00:02:52.039 --> 00:02:54.599 trust me, seen it a thousand times. The city never 62 00:02:54.639 --> 00:02:57.560 gets prettier. I nearly lost my train of thought, But 63 00:02:57.639 --> 00:03:00.360 as I turned to face him, another question surface about 64 00:03:00.360 --> 00:03:02.039 the beauty of the viewed in the simple fact of it, 65 00:03:02.560 --> 00:03:05.000 had I always been looking at the same painting. I 66 00:03:05.039 --> 00:03:07.919 began my day as usual, sifting through requests, prepping to 67 00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:11.199 her pamphlets for the handful of visitors expected. I tidied 68 00:03:11.199 --> 00:03:13.479 the reference stacks and compared dates on a few postcards 69 00:03:13.479 --> 00:03:17.120 near the lobby, routine comfortable tasks, but the mural stayed 70 00:03:17.159 --> 00:03:19.680 with me throughout the day. Each time I entered the 71 00:03:19.719 --> 00:03:22.000 main gallery, my eyes darted back to the spy at 72 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:24.840 the curve of the river, puzzling over those orange boats. 73 00:03:25.240 --> 00:03:28.520 Each detail seemed both familiar in you. Was I slipping 74 00:03:29.240 --> 00:03:31.719 or was something else? The mural itself changing beneath our 75 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:35.680 noses while we simply assumed we remembered. My memory, after all, 76 00:03:35.800 --> 00:03:39.400 had never failed me before. When people imagine a history teacher, 77 00:03:39.520 --> 00:03:41.840 I think they expect to be spectacles, perhaps a fondness 78 00:03:41.879 --> 00:03:45.199 for maps. I'll admit to all three. In my thirty 79 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:47.759 seven years teaching at Edison Middle I became a walking 80 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:50.800 resource for local trivia. My students would try to stump 81 00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:53.280 me with questions about all fire stations of for Gooden Maya's, 82 00:03:53.520 --> 00:03:55.360 and more often than not I could answer before the 83 00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:58.599 bell even ran. Retirement, however, is a different animal, at 84 00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:01.039 least for me. The plan, dads, skirts and clatter of 85 00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:03.719 lockers have faded. My days are parceled up with a 86 00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:06.919 gentle precision of habit. Morning laps around the duckbund crossward 87 00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:08.960 in the window at the cafe, weekly bridge game, and 88 00:04:09.039 --> 00:04:12.080 of course these volunteer errors at the museum. The truth 89 00:04:12.120 --> 00:04:15.639 is volunteering here off for small comfort. I find routine 90 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:17.560 in sort and new acquisitions, and delight in the rare 91 00:04:17.560 --> 00:04:20.000 group of students trailing behind sim On her hands waving 92 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:22.160 as she ship as than toward a painting or art fact. 93 00:04:22.920 --> 00:04:25.560 I appreciate missus Ellison's off key cheer in mister Park's 94 00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:28.920 dryosides all of us, in our way are guardians of 95 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:31.480 a civic treasure, even as we bicker about proper humidity 96 00:04:31.480 --> 00:04:34.040 for paintings, or whose urin is to polish the glass cases. 97 00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:36.800 The museum itself hasn't changed much since it brought my 98 00:04:36.839 --> 00:04:39.879 eighth graders here two decades ago. The entrance is ring 99 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:42.800 by crack stonework and lists of mural donors. The columns 100 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:46.120 tonal dust catchers frame a lovulaid with misaic talents whirling 101 00:04:46.120 --> 00:04:48.920 blue and green. I joke with visitors that the gallery 102 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:51.439 lights are calibrated to illuminate our wrinkles as finely as 103 00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:54.839 the artwork. Ely On, someone installed a stool just for 104 00:04:54.920 --> 00:04:56.680 me near the mural, with a perfect sidle line through 105 00:04:56.680 --> 00:05:00.000 the main gallery and in each shift of watched as staff, visitors, 106 00:05:00.120 --> 00:05:02.160 and students used the mural as a land market place 107 00:05:02.199 --> 00:05:06.000 to pause, orient regale with stories. Most days the museum 108 00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:09.000 is all gentle shuffles and creaking gift shop receipts, the 109 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:12.480 echo of children's laughter, the whir of an ancient ventilation system. 110 00:05:12.600 --> 00:05:16.240 Our artifacts are lovingly tended, but rarely famous. The mural 111 00:05:16.319 --> 00:05:19.879 is different. Simon twenty something, A darting blue bird among 112 00:05:19.959 --> 00:05:22.680 us old crows reminds us we're lucky the painting Edith. 113 00:05:22.879 --> 00:05:25.800 Nobody else can claim something so representative it is the city, 114 00:05:25.959 --> 00:05:29.000 isn't it. Even as she schemes ways to raise funds 115 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:31.720 with social media campaigns, she keeps her office window angled 116 00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:35.680 toward the mural. Missus Ellison provides afternoon momentum. Don't let 117 00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:37.879 mister Park bully you about the temperature, Dear, if your 118 00:05:37.920 --> 00:05:41.800 teas call, my thermis is bottomless. Her memory, if ane gracious, 119 00:05:41.839 --> 00:05:45.000 is selective at best. She cares less for records and 120 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:48.279 morph stories, turning forgotten docents into legends with a twinkle 121 00:05:48.279 --> 00:05:51.160 in her eye. Mister Park is a different flavor museum 122 00:05:51.160 --> 00:05:53.480 security since the eighties would a walk the creeks in 123 00:05:53.560 --> 00:05:55.319 time to the floor and a mind as a arsenal 124 00:05:55.319 --> 00:05:58.480 of complaints and ballprint pens. Then there is Lizzie, perhaps 125 00:05:58.519 --> 00:06:01.319 the only recurring visider, a U University student who lingers 126 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:04.000 in our galleries every week, sketch book on her knees, 127 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:07.360 eributs in. Sometimes I peek at her work, quick deft 128 00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:10.680 outlines of whatever corner or angel catches her mood. She 129 00:06:10.759 --> 00:06:14.000 is never reserved, but her focus is absolute. Once I 130 00:06:14.040 --> 00:06:16.800 caught her capturing the Mural's riverbank in charcoal. Asking if 131 00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:19.959 the willow trees had always bent like that, I answered yes, 132 00:06:20.040 --> 00:06:22.279 But for the first time, I now question my conviction. 133 00:06:22.920 --> 00:06:25.160 We have our routines, doors opened with a jangle of 134 00:06:25.240 --> 00:06:26.920 keys and a heavy grown as the oak batt and 135 00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:30.240 sye wide tea brew by ten staff conferring in the 136 00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:33.800 cramp pastel tu bricrim. Visitors arrive few and fleeting, and 137 00:06:33.879 --> 00:06:37.560 leave equally lightly. Missus Ellison and I exchange jokes about 138 00:06:37.560 --> 00:06:40.600 each new cloud of dust disturbed. The mural is our beacon, 139 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:43.839 central ceremonious, a guide for young and old. I know 140 00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:45.639 it as surely as my own front steps, or so 141 00:06:45.720 --> 00:06:49.720 I believe. Its skyline has ankle class projects, provoked debates 142 00:06:49.720 --> 00:06:51.920 on city funding, and provided a gentle touched and for 143 00:06:51.920 --> 00:06:55.120 newcomers exploring their adopted home. It is to us as 144 00:06:55.199 --> 00:06:57.120 much a civic signature as the clock tower or the 145 00:06:57.120 --> 00:07:00.480 whistling fairies at dusk. So why on this grace keyed 146 00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:03.079 mourning does the city accross the Mural's painted river seen 147 00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:06.120 to drift, even as the marble beneath my feet remains unchanged. 148 00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:09.160 I was arranging pamphlets near the reception disc when the 149 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:11.519 contradiction found me not just a subtle shift, but a 150 00:07:11.560 --> 00:07:14.920 chasm cut across memory and motivation. An older gentleman, the 151 00:07:14.959 --> 00:07:16.800 sword holienes on his cane, as if it alone could 152 00:07:16.839 --> 00:07:19.800 summon history, was counting the mural while his daughter, sensible 153 00:07:19.839 --> 00:07:23.920 shoes and sharp glasses flit through Arbrosure, excuse me, miss, 154 00:07:24.079 --> 00:07:26.680 HEAs motioning me over with a careful tip of his cane. 155 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:29.360 Is this the famous blue tram? My wife told me 156 00:07:29.439 --> 00:07:31.959 it was always her favorite. Bit rode that line every Saturday, 157 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:34.759 from Angel Street down to the Flower Market. He pointed, 158 00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:38.079 and I politely followed his gaze. There it was, front 159 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:40.439 and center in a mural, a shining blue tram, glossy 160 00:07:40.439 --> 00:07:42.959 as a pluck plum, crossing the viaduct over the river. 161 00:07:43.480 --> 00:07:45.720 I could have sworn absolutely certain the tram had been 162 00:07:45.720 --> 00:07:48.360 painted red. For as long as I've worked here, I 163 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:51.040 taught dozens of lessons using the detail reference in the 164 00:07:51.079 --> 00:07:53.639 color to distinguish the early indoor public transports from their 165 00:07:53.639 --> 00:07:57.199 blue uniform predecessors. My class hand outs always featured the 166 00:07:57.240 --> 00:08:00.000 same pale red tram. My own daughter at once traced 167 00:08:00.040 --> 00:08:02.240 it on a skull trip coloring, every panel shade lighter 168 00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:05.040 than in the mural. I tried, lightly, Are you sure 169 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:07.360 it's always been blue? I remember that tram as read. 170 00:08:07.399 --> 00:08:09.879 Actually it was something of a historical debate, wasn't it, 171 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:12.319 what with the city switching livery in the nineteen fifties. 172 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:16.360 The gentleman snorted, no, always blue, ask any one. He 173 00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:19.319 turned away, satisfied with memory or certainty, I could not tell. 174 00:08:19.920 --> 00:08:22.480 After he wandered off, I hurried to fetch missus Ellison 175 00:08:22.519 --> 00:08:25.959 from the front desk. She appeared, lilac scarf trailing, and 176 00:08:26.040 --> 00:08:28.480 I said, Milly, do you remember the city tram in 177 00:08:28.519 --> 00:08:31.160 the mural? Didn't it used to be red? She squinted it, 178 00:08:31.199 --> 00:08:33.799 peering over my shoulder and shook her head. Oh, Edith, 179 00:08:33.960 --> 00:08:36.159 you history buffs. You like to argue the tram's always 180 00:08:36.159 --> 00:08:39.679 been blue tradition, you know, blue trams, blue uniforms, policity's guide. 181 00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:42.720 That's what my father said. I bit my cheek For 182 00:08:42.799 --> 00:08:45.080 a moment. I wondered if I could trust my own certainty. 183 00:08:45.720 --> 00:08:47.559 Had I, who taught for so many years that the 184 00:08:47.559 --> 00:08:50.720 painting was true to our city's historical record, actually misremembered? 185 00:08:51.320 --> 00:08:55.159 My mind flickered back, counting tours. Lessons. Afternoon spent diagramming 186 00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:58.200 the city's changing transport. Why would I invent the red? 187 00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:00.879 I hovered there, half in the prison, half excavating old 188 00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:03.879 mental snap shots. The central mural, the very thing I'd 189 00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:07.440 prided myself on interpreting, now cast me adrift for a moment. 190 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:09.559 The notion bloomed was the mural some new kind of 191 00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:12.279 shifting record, writing itself in subtle flourish as no one 192 00:09:12.279 --> 00:09:15.440 else seemed to notice. If so, why had nob been 193 00:09:15.480 --> 00:09:18.000 mentioned it? For? Had I simply not listened? All I 194 00:09:18.039 --> 00:09:21.080 knew was what I'd remembered about the painting had been contradicted, 195 00:09:21.320 --> 00:09:23.720 not just by a stranger, but by Millie, whose stories 196 00:09:23.720 --> 00:09:25.799 may wander, but whose opinion of the city cham has 197 00:09:25.799 --> 00:09:28.679 apparently never wavered. I could feel the need to resolve 198 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:32.240 the doubt pushing up, insisting and unfamiliar. I spent my 199 00:09:32.279 --> 00:09:34.440 lunch shift doing something I never would have confessed aloud, 200 00:09:34.440 --> 00:09:36.440 scrutinizing the mural close up as if it were a 201 00:09:36.480 --> 00:09:39.279 crown scene. I positioned a folding chair at a dozen 202 00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:41.840 different angles, tip notes in my tiny blue notebook, and 203 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:45.000 quietly compared every painted landmark I could recall from prior months. 204 00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:48.000 The river, sometimes its cover and mural mirrored the real 205 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:50.480 rivers south, would bend at other angles, seemed to be 206 00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:54.200 lit by an entirely different sun. The old bridges, which 207 00:09:54.240 --> 00:09:56.960 had swarm a twins band's painted in gently arching succession, 208 00:09:57.120 --> 00:10:00.879 now doubled back upon themselves, stacked in impossible proxim The 209 00:10:00.919 --> 00:10:03.759 skyline had acquired a clutch of unfamiliar glass wall towers, 210 00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:05.679 one crowned with a windmill. I could have sworn wasn't 211 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:09.080 the previous week. I wasn't content to simply trust my eyes. 212 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:13.000 That evening pack home, I thumbed through my oldestary lesson notes, 213 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:16.600 pulling diagrams of the city's early industrial years, maps, building lists, 214 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:20.360 photos from the library's digital archive. I checked my own 215 00:10:20.440 --> 00:10:23.039 lecture hand auts, clipping out references to the park's position, 216 00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:26.440 the tram routes, and the riverside warehouses. The mural of 217 00:10:26.440 --> 00:10:29.480 this morning aligned with none. I cross checked the directional 218 00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:31.559 orientation of the bridge in the mural against my best 219 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:34.159 love City aerial in nineteen thirty five footoarge, used ten 220 00:10:34.200 --> 00:10:38.159 times in classes close but never the same. On Wednesday, 221 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:40.960 I brought a fresh note padant that afternoon started sketching 222 00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:43.879 details before the museum closed for the day. I captured 223 00:10:43.879 --> 00:10:46.159 a row of shoped painted of bold awnings, bright green 224 00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:48.679 and gold, distinctly modern in style, across from the city's 225 00:10:48.679 --> 00:10:51.360 oldest plaza. Wasn't that supposed to be the sight of 226 00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:54.799 the wartime market stalls. Thursday, I lingered by the mule 227 00:10:54.840 --> 00:10:56.440 and told the crowd's thinned to try and to sketch 228 00:10:56.480 --> 00:10:58.759 the park's winding path, now curling north by what had 229 00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:01.679 yesterday been a block of red brick hotels. I didn't 230 00:11:01.679 --> 00:11:04.240 mention the exercise to Simon, though she peeked over my 231 00:11:04.279 --> 00:11:06.600 shoulder and said we should have view draw mural postcouds 232 00:11:06.639 --> 00:11:08.440 for the shop. That would lighten things up around here. 233 00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:12.840 I soon realized the contradictions ran deeper. Our regular Lizzie, 234 00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:15.720 perched on the steps later that week, remarked, without prompting, 235 00:11:15.879 --> 00:11:17.759 I like how the mural always shows what the city 236 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:19.679 feels like to me, especially the way they painted a 237 00:11:19.720 --> 00:11:22.440 sunset district. It's exactly how I remember it. My favorite 238 00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:24.879 bakery that blue fenced. She trailed off, glancing up with 239 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:28.360 the sort of dreamy gratitude. I nodded, smiling alarm, but 240 00:11:28.440 --> 00:11:30.639 I thought not for the first time. Her sunset district 241 00:11:30.679 --> 00:11:32.960 in mine are not the same. I don't recall any 242 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:35.279 blue fence, nor that bakery so close to the canal. 243 00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:39.000 The following morning, as I began unlocking the side entry, 244 00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:41.600 I heard mister Park grumblet a group of weekend visitors 245 00:11:41.720 --> 00:11:43.720 that Casina has always been on the mule before they 246 00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:46.320 bulldozed tafted downtown to build it up. Too many memories 247 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:49.720 for one patch of leveled concrete. My pulse leapt. We 248 00:11:49.759 --> 00:11:52.240 all know gambling was only legalized a few years ago. 249 00:11:52.799 --> 00:11:55.080 I remembered the uproar at the city Council debates, news 250 00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:58.480 crews flocking for opening day. Yet the murals, sure enough, 251 00:11:58.519 --> 00:12:01.919 as if the afternoon depicted alone. Neon signed Casino wedged 252 00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:04.480 into the southern river side, surrounded by poff cars and 253 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:07.360 the faint hint of a modern plaza. Feeling a shiver 254 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:10.679 of uncertainty, A called Simonova, pointing openly to the mule's 255 00:12:10.679 --> 00:12:13.720 mix of tram high rises, Casino an ancient market stole 256 00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:17.360 so clearly from separate eras Simon, doesn't it bother you 257 00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:20.039 that half these buildings didn't exist? Alongside each other. The 258 00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:23.159 painting keeps shifting. Sometimes the parks here, sometimes there. Then 259 00:12:23.159 --> 00:12:26.879 a new building appears, She arched an iber though it's 260 00:12:26.919 --> 00:12:30.240 just creative license, right. Besides, it's a historical record. Look, 261 00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:33.120 that's how the city looked in nineteen twenty two. She 262 00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:35.919 gestured a block I recognized from old photos, but her 263 00:12:36.039 --> 00:12:39.080 nineteen twenty two was surrounded by a sixties apartment slab 264 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:43.200 beside a eakeanjuice bark, both entirely anachronistic. I've talked up 265 00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:45.919 that exact view on student tours for two years, she continued, 266 00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:49.960 tapping a clipboard. I wouldn't worry that night, and about 267 00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:53.799 of impatience. I rifled through old museum brouchures. Each included 268 00:12:53.799 --> 00:12:56.519 a crop furto of the mural used for advertising tours. 269 00:12:57.200 --> 00:13:00.360 I compare two editions side by side. The king was 270 00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:03.840 amateurian Bertha dark rectangle of the mural's river side, but 271 00:13:03.960 --> 00:13:06.600 more than the colors shifted. The bridge odges varied slightly. 272 00:13:06.639 --> 00:13:09.600 Even the path leading to the city botanical gardens changed angles. 273 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:12.559 The sign over the trump stopped said botanic in want 274 00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:16.320 gardens in the other subtle but distinct. The mural sometimes 275 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:18.559 bid in a paintoly sunlight that didn't match the city's 276 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:21.679 gloom outside. Other days, when rain battered our lobby windows, 277 00:13:21.720 --> 00:13:25.240 the mural two seemed streak gray sky leaning heavy with clouds. 278 00:13:25.720 --> 00:13:28.200 I once asked out loud whether anyone thought the murals 279 00:13:28.200 --> 00:13:30.480 whether followed the real city or if the lighting tricks 280 00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:33.799 were just clever curation. Mister park dusting in the near 281 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:37.759 hall scoffed, artist's prerogative. Don't let it get in your head, Edith, 282 00:13:37.799 --> 00:13:41.159 we all see what we expect. My curiosity now was ravenous. 283 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:45.159 Was there some secret ongoing restoration? Was the mural being retouched? 284 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:47.320 Was it mere prediction or part of some clever museum 285 00:13:47.320 --> 00:13:50.440 tricka hadn't yet uncovered? Or had my own memory, over 286 00:13:50.519 --> 00:13:53.159 long devoted to the city's official image, started to roade. 287 00:13:53.159 --> 00:13:56.519 With time, none of the theories quite fit. Each new 288 00:13:56.519 --> 00:14:00.159 contradiction suggested another layer. Post Cards from our own own 289 00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:02.639 gift shop, reordered before every major holiday, assured the mural 290 00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:06.000 reproduced and sub duty use. One featured the Riverside Park. 291 00:14:06.039 --> 00:14:08.360 Another at the same angle replaced the park with a 292 00:14:08.360 --> 00:14:10.399 set of glass office blocks, though both clined to be 293 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:13.639 from a painting bay. L Alf Francs nineteen nineteen. A 294 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:16.360 recurring question returned, could there be official records of the 295 00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:20.120 murals intended? Four mortist sketches, press releases, faded plants. Hiding 296 00:14:20.120 --> 00:14:23.960 in the museum tarcouse. Late one afternoon, I rifled through 297 00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:26.440 our filing cabinets, simontutting as I bent over a batted 298 00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:30.519 manilla envelope labeled mural materials. The contents were underwhelming copies 299 00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:33.480 of old opening nine invitations, fuzzy black and white photographs, 300 00:14:33.519 --> 00:14:37.080 a yellowed, fainly pencil floor plan. Even those images failed 301 00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:39.639 to agree with themselves. In one, the mural depicted the 302 00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:42.320 smoking chimneys of the textile quarter, then another a placid 303 00:14:42.360 --> 00:14:46.279 sweep of riverside already lined with trees. Whatever explanation are clontium, 304 00:14:46.279 --> 00:14:50.120 misremembered facts, clever lighting of verzealous restorations, none could account 305 00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:53.200 for every contradiction the mural had thus far revealed. By 306 00:14:53.240 --> 00:14:55.080 the end of my second month at the museum, had 307 00:14:55.080 --> 00:14:57.639 filled two entire nutputs with quick sketches and written notes 308 00:14:57.639 --> 00:15:01.600 comparing the mural's changing geography. One rainy Sunday face pressed 309 00:15:01.639 --> 00:15:03.720 close to the paneled wall at table in my sitting room, 310 00:15:03.759 --> 00:15:06.159 I noticed something I hadn't date to dissipate. Not a 311 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:09.279 day passed without at least one major shift. The parkscof 312 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:12.559 swerved between my sketches, sometimes cutting across the old tramway, 313 00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:15.000 sometimes looping out into the river as a peninsula that, 314 00:15:15.080 --> 00:15:18.679 to my knowledge, had never actually existed. On Monday, I 315 00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:21.440 searched the archives for photographs of the Murle over the decades. 316 00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:23.799 I managed to find perhaps a dozen newspaper spreads from 317 00:15:23.799 --> 00:15:26.679 the opening student groups posing during tours, A faded polaroid 318 00:15:26.679 --> 00:15:29.279 from a seventy scala one showed the casino years before 319 00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:31.600 it had been built. Another taken in the Midmnice eighties, 320 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:34.120 omitted the new foot bridge entirely, though the physical bridge 321 00:15:34.159 --> 00:15:36.360 itself was one of the city's proudest editions that year. 322 00:15:36.919 --> 00:15:39.039 When next I saw Lizzie cross legged at the Mule's 323 00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:42.559 age as a shaded chocole onto canary yellow paper, I asked, hesitatly, 324 00:15:42.679 --> 00:15:44.919 have you ever noticed the mule chained your bakery the 325 00:15:44.919 --> 00:15:46.840 blue fence. Has it always looked like that to you? 326 00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:51.159 She shrugged, smiling. Sometimes I sketch it and the buildings 327 00:15:51.159 --> 00:15:53.759 feel softer. Sometimes the park just stretches a bit, but 328 00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:56.000 it always looks bright, you know, like the version I'd 329 00:15:56.039 --> 00:15:57.879 hoped for on maybe just what the city felt like 330 00:15:57.919 --> 00:16:00.840 on a bright afternoon. I watched her high, considering the 331 00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:03.600 possibility that what felt so mutable to me might seem settled, 332 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:06.960 reassurering even to others. At lunch, I made a point 333 00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:09.120 to ask mister Park if he'd ever spotted di scrapances 334 00:16:09.159 --> 00:16:12.080 between his own memories and the mural's features. He grow 335 00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:14.600 into Edith. Every year they re innovates something in this town. 336 00:16:14.679 --> 00:16:17.080 They fill in the docks, knock down a warehouse, build 337 00:16:17.080 --> 00:16:19.399 a stupid traffic island, and people moan about how the 338 00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.639 past was different. You stare too long at that painting, 339 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:24.879 I'll start seeing anything you like, but he added, frowning, 340 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:27.799 I do recall once, after my vacation back in ninety eight, 341 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:29.960 the mural had grown a play ground. I didn't remember 342 00:16:30.039 --> 00:16:32.120 my grands and love swings, so that stuck with me, 343 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:34.679 but everyone else swhore it had always been there. He 344 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:37.000 shook his head, as if batting away the thought with 345 00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:39.559 sess Ellison, cheerful as ever, took my question as an 346 00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:42.519 invitation to reminisce. Oh, the mural is come for, isn't 347 00:16:42.600 --> 00:16:44.279 I can sit here and count every shop front I 348 00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:46.159 used to visit, you know, the old news agent, the 349 00:16:46.200 --> 00:16:48.720 tailor now a juice bar. But in the painting, they 350 00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:52.480 are all still there, exactly as they ought to be. Simon, meanwhile, 351 00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:56.440 was knee deep in planning a new round of student tours. Frankly, Edith, 352 00:16:56.559 --> 00:16:59.200 I wouldn't worry about those little differences. Artists always blend 353 00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:01.799 ears for affair. That's what makes it popular. Tourists can 354 00:17:01.799 --> 00:17:04.559 recognize something locals too. The mural isn't meant to be 355 00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:07.559 a document. Think of it like collective nostalgia. Besides, specific 356 00:17:07.640 --> 00:17:10.759 dates don't matter, it's the feeling it evooks. She grinned, 357 00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:13.200 then dashed off to wrangle a delivery of exhibit labels. 358 00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:16.519 Feeling a touch of exasperated amusement, I visited the gift 359 00:17:16.519 --> 00:17:19.960 Sharpiere again, scanning the racks of mural postcards and souvenir mugs. 360 00:17:20.519 --> 00:17:23.640 The merchandise produced in ways seemed less consistent each time 361 00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:26.079 I looked to the sky line, shifting font styles, altering, 362 00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:29.880 minor landmarks, vanishing and reappearing. When I pointed this out 363 00:17:29.880 --> 00:17:32.440 to her teenage cachet, she laughed, and said, I just 364 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:34.279 think they get bored at the printing place and use 365 00:17:34.319 --> 00:17:37.440 whatever fotho we send them. I started to notice on 366 00:17:37.559 --> 00:17:40.079 rainy mornings that the mural's clouds swell gray and urgent, 367 00:17:40.119 --> 00:17:43.400 as if reflecting the storm's pressure. Outside. Sunday afternoons painted 368 00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:45.920 the city in a honeyed light, regardless of museum fixtures. 369 00:17:46.519 --> 00:17:48.920 One day, a cluster of red banners sprang up across 370 00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:51.680 the Murals city square. A week later, after a minor 371 00:17:51.759 --> 00:17:53.960 parade had run through the same streets. In reality, the 372 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:56.720 next print runoff gift shop postcouch showed confetti drifting over 373 00:17:56.759 --> 00:17:59.279 the Tan Hall. I made a quiet visit to the 374 00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:03.519 museum'small prescivs, Morris brushure resolbjects of Pride, and minute correction 375 00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:06.400 among retired dirsant syndex the mural's story through the years. 376 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:10.400 Yet the pamphlets themselves sometimes disputed each other, claiming opening 377 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:13.799 dates before the Second Footbridge or referencing restoretured districts that 378 00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:17.240 I could barely recall even in childhood. The contradictions built 379 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:20.240 into a saturated puzzle. I began to wonder whether the 380 00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:23.160 museum itself, or at least at keystone painting didn't simply 381 00:18:23.240 --> 00:18:25.119 drift with the city's own self image e to change 382 00:18:25.160 --> 00:18:28.640 a subtle echo of some conversation, memory, wish, or local debate. 383 00:18:29.240 --> 00:18:31.839 I began imagining features in which the mural would sprout 384 00:18:31.880 --> 00:18:34.160 a new building or race an old one, entirely as 385 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:37.079 memory or desire dictated. Was I was in trust in 386 00:18:37.160 --> 00:18:39.359 my own powers of recollection, or or other people seeing 387 00:18:39.400 --> 00:18:42.240 only what they wanted and calling it history. If the 388 00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:44.839 mural danced to the tune of public wish, wasn't it 389 00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:47.559 less an artifact than a mirror? My world, once so 390 00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:50.640 firmly ordered by fact, record and day to day observation, 391 00:18:50.799 --> 00:18:53.599 was now bending. Either I had never truly noticed this 392 00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:56.599 constant flux, or the city's sense of itself was less settled, 393 00:18:56.759 --> 00:18:59.480 more achingly provisional than I had ever allowed myself to believe. 394 00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.519 Determined not to simply accept uncertainty, I decided one aften 395 00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:06.799 interdig deeper. That evening, I retrieved all my sketches from 396 00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:08.759 the past month, pin them up around my small parlor. 397 00:19:09.400 --> 00:19:11.880 The parade of images, same bridge with three different coveratures, 398 00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:14.359 the park shifting like a floating island, the tramp switching 399 00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:16.640 levery week by week spread before me felt for a 400 00:19:16.720 --> 00:19:20.000 moment like evidence of my own drifting attention. The next day, 401 00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:23.200