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<v Speaker 1>I got a very cute email here to start on

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<v Speaker 1>the Minnesota Goodbye. It's Saint Patrick's Day. As we record this,

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<v Speaker 1>and Derek writes in it said, my son is in

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<v Speaker 1>third grade and he had to draw a leprechaun for

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<v Speaker 1>Saint Patrick's Day. And he named his leprechaun one h

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<v Speaker 1>one point three kd wbs. He has blue eyes, green hair,

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<v Speaker 1>four foot ten, forty five pounds and he was last

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<v Speaker 1>scene and then he had to fill in, where's last scene?

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<v Speaker 1>Last scene eating at a bar? And I think that's adorable.

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<v Speaker 2>So about four ten and forty five pounds, that's dangerously thin.

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<v Speaker 1>Well it's a leprechaun. Yeah, that's not the kid, that's

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<v Speaker 1>the leprechaun.

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<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, longtime listeners, Second time writer from Katie, just writing

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<v Speaker 1>to say something I think about nearly every day. I

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<v Speaker 1>listened to your show relatability during the fallon and later

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<v Speaker 1>Drake transitions. I thought, uh, I'm not going to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to relate to anybody new on the show ever

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<v Speaker 1>again it's all over for my morning show. Lol. Did

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<v Speaker 1>you prove me wrong? I think relatability is important for

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<v Speaker 1>a voice you listen to every day think love is blind,

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<v Speaker 1>and Dave is an easy one to relate to. It

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<v Speaker 1>everybody's favorite suburban dad and someone we've gotten to know

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<v Speaker 1>over the years. Jenny is relatable as a former party

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<v Speaker 1>girl turn home fitness influencer who's into her own sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>solo hobbies and Awesome Bailey was an easy one to

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<v Speaker 1>fit into the gap I as the serial single girl

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<v Speaker 1>in my thirties. But Bailey is more aspirational than I

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<v Speaker 1>ever was in her activities and ability to make friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Also awesome Vaunt. When I first heard that you were

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<v Speaker 1>a super young twenty guy twenty something guy, replace it

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<v Speaker 1>another super young twenties guy, I was nervous. Oh no,

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<v Speaker 1>he's from the East Coast. Blah, he's gonna be another

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<v Speaker 1>goofball again. I was wrong. The things that make Vont

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<v Speaker 1>relatable and successful is he can sometimes be an old

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<v Speaker 1>soul and a young voice. The way he easily jumps

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<v Speaker 1>from gen z to spitting seventies TV show references is

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<v Speaker 1>so charm. As a suburban late thirties mom, we should

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<v Speaker 1>have nothing in common, and maybe don't on the surface,

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<v Speaker 1>but you just have a way to constantly surprise me

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<v Speaker 1>with your maturity and reference opinions and speaking also awesome

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<v Speaker 1>any who have a great day, Ryan Show. If this

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<v Speaker 1>was boring, I don't care if you read it on

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<v Speaker 1>the show. That is Katie suburban mom in Victoria, Victoria,

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<v Speaker 1>n K.

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<v Speaker 2>I walked to Victoria once, Katie, and it was lovely.

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<v Speaker 2>Victoria is really nice.

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<v Speaker 1>It's cute little town. Yeah. I'm going to send that

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<v Speaker 1>to you, Jenny, so we can actually read that on

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<v Speaker 1>the regular show because I like that. You know what's

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<v Speaker 1>a cute little town that I've been there a few

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<v Speaker 1>times now was Downtown Hopkins. Yes, the main street Doptown

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<v Speaker 1>Hopkins is really fucking cool. Yeah, And I've gone there

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<v Speaker 1>the last i don't know, maybe a couple of months,

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<v Speaker 1>to play cribbage with my friend Mel on Saturdays, and

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<v Speaker 1>we went to Monka Beans I think Monga Beans, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>Monk of Beans. Yeah, But they're so crowded that we

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<v Speaker 1>don't go there anymore because they're too popular. So across

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<v Speaker 1>the street is a place called bear K Brewing. So

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<v Speaker 1>I met her there for cribbage on Saturday. And I'm

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<v Speaker 1>driving down to get gas at the Shell station and

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<v Speaker 1>I think down the street and I drove past all

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<v Speaker 1>these cool little shops. Oh, just the coolest little shops

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<v Speaker 1>and one had ukuleles hanging in the window. Oh, so

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<v Speaker 1>I stopped buy I'm not going to buy another one.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was asking about lessons, so I signed up

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<v Speaker 1>for lessons for ukulele Wednesday nights. I think I signed

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<v Speaker 1>up for two months of lessons Wednesday nights.

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<v Speaker 4>Did you get you're going to physically go there?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Wow?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you?

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<v Speaker 2>Is it like leveled? Like are you taking intermediate? Because

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<v Speaker 2>you're good at ukulele?

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<v Speaker 1>All right now? I mean thanks, but I'm I'm I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a good advanced beginner or like lower intermediate. But I

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<v Speaker 1>want to get better. I want to be like, Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>that's really cool. And I don't know where to go.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what to what step to take next.

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<v Speaker 1>So this guy, I said, is he a good ukulele teacher?

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<v Speaker 1>He said, yes, he's a good yukula lately teachers. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>Downtown Hopkins chuck it out. Okay, thank you, Katie. I

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<v Speaker 1>got to hit de lead on a couple of these.

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<v Speaker 1>Here and here we go. Nicole writes in Good Morning.

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<v Speaker 1>I was reading a book this weekend and came across

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<v Speaker 1>a joke that was used on your show a few

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<v Speaker 1>years ago. The joke was you would ask a caller

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<v Speaker 1>how many people worked at their place of employment, and

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<v Speaker 1>they were supposed to respond with about half. I've attached

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<v Speaker 1>a picture of the page with a stolen joke from

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<v Speaker 1>a book that was released in twenty twenty three. I

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<v Speaker 1>know it probably wasn't stolen from your show, but I

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<v Speaker 1>got a chuckle when I read it, and I had

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<v Speaker 1>to share it with you. Hope you have a great

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<v Speaker 1>day from Nicole. Let's look because she has the file here.

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<v Speaker 4>It doesn't say what book it is, right, Well.

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<v Speaker 1>The funny thing is it's got the wrong orientation, so

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<v Speaker 1>I can't read it because it's turned sideways. So let

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<v Speaker 1>me save it and then I will open it up,

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<v Speaker 1>save and then doing that.

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<v Speaker 4>Speaking of like local authors, I remember reading this book

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<v Speaker 4>that was based out of Minneapolis and it was like

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<v Speaker 4>a stalker guy who was basically murdering all these women.

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<v Speaker 4>And I had to stop reading it because it was

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<v Speaker 4>so specific to like areas I frequent and obviously it

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<v Speaker 4>was fiction, yeah, but it was just so cepy.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>I had to stop reading it because it was like

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<v Speaker 4>based out of Minneapolis.

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<v Speaker 2>I read a book that was like a murder mystery too,

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<v Speaker 2>but it was set in like nineteen ten, so it

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<v Speaker 2>was neat that way because they were talking about like

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<v Speaker 2>street cars and someone got murdered on a street car

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<v Speaker 2>coming out of going towards Excelsior or whatever, and those

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<v Speaker 2>don't exist anymore, so at least I could remove myself

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit from that scary story.

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<v Speaker 1>It's kind of cool because street cars used to go

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<v Speaker 1>into Excelsior, all the way into downtown Excelsior and even

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<v Speaker 1>passed it. There was a train that all the way

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<v Speaker 1>went all the way to Victoria and probably passed there.

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<v Speaker 3>I wish street.

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<v Speaker 2>Cars were still a thing, because they're way more economical

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<v Speaker 2>and better for like the earth.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you know who did away with street cars the

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<v Speaker 1>automobile industry. I know, because the automobile industry, Like I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know all of the deal wheelings and dealings, but

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<v Speaker 1>people in the automobile industry wanted us to buy cars,

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<v Speaker 1>not take the street car. That's why every city used

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<v Speaker 1>to have streetcar routes, but now they don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and then you could move farther away, and you

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<v Speaker 2>used to only be able to live in city limits,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you could only live in streetcar limits, and

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<v Speaker 2>then once the car was invented, you could live wherever you.

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<v Speaker 1>Are and where you wanted to.

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<v Speaker 2>True.

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<v Speaker 1>So anyway, the book apparently is like, it's a joke

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<v Speaker 1>that says how many people work at the Pentagon? About half?

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<v Speaker 1>And it's a joke in the book. So you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>that was not my joke. I don't know where I

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<v Speaker 1>got it, Nicole, but it's definitely not a joke that

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<v Speaker 1>I came up with. I did come up with. How

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<v Speaker 1>did you find so you listen in Milwaukee? How did

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<v Speaker 1>you find our show? Do you remember the answer on

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<v Speaker 1>that one?

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<v Speaker 3>No? I do?

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<v Speaker 1>What is okay? So, Jenny, you listen all the way

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<v Speaker 1>in Milwaukee? You're not from here? How did you find

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<v Speaker 1>our show?

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<v Speaker 4>A little tacky?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and that was the joke we used for a

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<v Speaker 1>while now, that one I did make up. So you

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<v Speaker 1>listen in Baltimore? Yeah, how did you find our show?

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<v Speaker 3>Mmmm?

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<v Speaker 1>Mid No, No, no, you're supposed to say a little tacky?

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<v Speaker 3>Listen? Can I play the game my own way?

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<v Speaker 4>No?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, next one.

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<v Speaker 4>Follow his joke exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's see Dave. Now we're gonna skip that one.

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<v Speaker 1>That's about it. It's about something I don't really want

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<v Speaker 1>to talk about on the show. So it's not that

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<v Speaker 1>it's not bad, I just don't want to talk about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Stephanie says, had a good time meeting you guys at

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<v Speaker 1>Dave and Buster's. I was shaking. I was so nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>I forgot to say I have both of Dave's books,

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<v Speaker 1>and my little girl loves Dave's Amazing Day. Only after

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<v Speaker 1>we left it I remember to tell her she had

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<v Speaker 1>just met the author of the book. I read Little

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<v Speaker 1>Dave's Amazing Day to Ava, who is four and a half,

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<v Speaker 1>and there's little parts where Dave gets his shirt stuck

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<v Speaker 1>on his head and makes a mess with the jelly

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<v Speaker 1>at break breakfast, and Ava points and laughs like she's

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<v Speaker 1>never seen it before. Look he's making a mess.

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<v Speaker 3>He's very cute.

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<v Speaker 1>When Alison and Ava. When Alison's Ava and Mayeva were

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<v Speaker 1>the same age. I loved hearing the pregnancy update for

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<v Speaker 1>Alison during the pandemic, since I was going through the

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<v Speaker 1>same thing. I promise I didn't steal the name, though

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<v Speaker 1>I had it picked out before Alison picked it out.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought I was being somewhat unique by using an

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<v Speaker 1>older name, but not a weirdly old name. Apparently it

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<v Speaker 1>was number three on the Social Securities Baby list for

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<v Speaker 1>that year. Oh well, I still love it, so Ava

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<v Speaker 1>came back big. Thanks for being such a great show.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's some trivia questions for a Dave Ryan super fan.

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<v Speaker 1>You ready to read some of the other answers? The

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<v Speaker 1>read who fell in a manhole?

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<v Speaker 4>Do you want to stay on the right away? Sure?

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<v Speaker 1>Go ahead?

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<v Speaker 4>Heay Donna, Yes, your sister, Dave's sister.

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<v Speaker 1>Who aerated a random listener's lawn when a bit went

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<v Speaker 1>bad on the Morning Show? Anybody know?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Fell and balin? Yep? Yeah. Who on the show has

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<v Speaker 1>the most tattoos? Bailey Bailey? Yes, these are because she

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<v Speaker 1>gives a ton of these.

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<v Speaker 3>She does all.

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<v Speaker 2>It was kind of it felt like I was meeting

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<v Speaker 2>a celebrity when I met her on Friday, because she's.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, yeah, I'm the one who does all the quizzes.

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<v Speaker 1>What When I walked in this morning, I said, Bailey,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you think of my hair? And it's been

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<v Speaker 1>an ongoing topic. We're going to drop that because nobody

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<v Speaker 1>likes my hair, which is basically my same hair but

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<v Speaker 1>not styled. Yes, so it's just kind of flopped over

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<v Speaker 1>and I thought it looked good, and Bailey said, no,

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<v Speaker 1>it's youthful on an old guy and not a good look.

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<v Speaker 1>And then Jenny kind of agreed. She said it didn't

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<v Speaker 1>look good either.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't really honestly feel like it looks young at all.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, and then Vaught said, you look like you've really

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<v Speaker 1>given up, like you've let your beard grow and you're

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<v Speaker 1>not doing your hair. So Bailey said, you look like

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<v Speaker 1>Burt Ward. Yep, And I said, who's Burt Ward?

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<v Speaker 2>And he played Robin in Batman and Robin the like

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<v Speaker 2>TV show from the sixties, Bert Ward.

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<v Speaker 1>So I threw out a fun fact, and this is

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<v Speaker 1>true Bert Ward, who was probably you know, twenty five

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<v Speaker 1>or so when he played Robin on Batman back in

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<v Speaker 1>the sixties. His dick was so big, and I said,

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<v Speaker 1>Penis when I had polite conversation, but it's fun to

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<v Speaker 1>say dick. His dick was apparently so big that it

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<v Speaker 1>would poke through his little leotard shorts and embarrass like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like it was embarrassing to put this guy

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<v Speaker 1>on TV. Yeah, with his big old hog poking through

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<v Speaker 1>his shorts.

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<v Speaker 3>And I looked it up and it's true.

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<v Speaker 2>And they apparently made him take like penis shrinking pills

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<v Speaker 2>in order to make it all nice appear smaller.

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<v Speaker 3>Isn't that bonkers?

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<v Speaker 4>That doesn't work. Nobody would ever take penis shrinkings.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know that there's anything that would like. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I mean, I don't increase your blood flow

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<v Speaker 1>to your wang.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, I just give it. I don't give

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<v Speaker 2>him like some spanks or something. I don't understand. You

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<v Speaker 2>could probably probably squeeze it in. But man, if that's

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<v Speaker 2>if that's your biggest problem, that's not a bad problem

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<v Speaker 2>to happen.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not a bad problem to have. And you got

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<v Speaker 1>to figure that he was twenty five TV show famous. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>had a large hog, probably got the ladies all over

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<v Speaker 1>the place.

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<v Speaker 3>He was a superhero. I always thought he was cute.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a huge crush on him when I was

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<v Speaker 2>like seven years old on Burward.

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<v Speaker 1>That's funny that you were watching Batman back then.

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<v Speaker 3>We watched a lot of like shows from the sixties

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<v Speaker 3>and seventies. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I was also telling Bailey the story. One time Julie,

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<v Speaker 1>my ex, and I were sitting into Perkins and if

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<v Speaker 1>I were in that Perkins, I could tell you the

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<v Speaker 1>exact booth we were in back when we were dating,

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<v Speaker 1>and Julie said, well, you know, average penis size is

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<v Speaker 1>about and she held her fingers and I'll explain it

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<v Speaker 1>to you about this far apart, so I know you

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<v Speaker 1>can't see me right now, but that is probably about

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<v Speaker 1>nine ish inches aparture and Bailey, Julie said, an average

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<v Speaker 1>penis is about that big, and I'm like, and she's like,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean because she knew that I did not fit

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<v Speaker 1>into that range at all, and so on.

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<v Speaker 3>The lower end of the average.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, we joked about that a lot, but I guess

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<v Speaker 1>Julie's experience arrigance was that the average penis was And

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<v Speaker 1>if you take your fingers and hold them about as

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<v Speaker 1>far apart as the top of an eight x ten

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<v Speaker 1>piece of paper, Okay, would that be about right? No,

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<v Speaker 1>that's that's twelve you got them to. Now that's the

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<v Speaker 1>bottom pipe. Kay, you're moving your fingers too much.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I feel like she's getting it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's would you say that's average? No, Jenny, if I

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<v Speaker 1>may be as indelicate, show me what average is with

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<v Speaker 1>your fingers.

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<v Speaker 4>I would say, like this, okay, and that's.

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<v Speaker 1>About the size of a three by five card, So

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<v Speaker 1>five inches, would you say five inches as average?

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<v Speaker 4>Five? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Five to six?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, five to six maybe, Okay, I don't know. I

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<v Speaker 4>feel like I don't pay enough attention from all the

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<v Speaker 4>hookups that I've had.

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<v Speaker 3>You don't go out and measure it or anything.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I do done there with a laser measure or

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<v Speaker 1>hold silm.

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<v Speaker 4>It's just that like a lot of my hookups were

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<v Speaker 4>like quick, quickie is the darl Yeah, so I don't

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<v Speaker 4>really recall everyone's you.

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<v Speaker 3>Know, in an alleyway stairwell.

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<v Speaker 1>God. Yeah, okay, I think there might be one more

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<v Speaker 1>email that we may have time to get to. So

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<v Speaker 1>let me see if I can find it, because I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not ready. I'm caught unprepared. And here we go. Hello

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<v Speaker 1>Dave and Crewe. Longtime listener. Really enjoyed the Minnesota Goodbye.

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<v Speaker 1>For some reason, it's fun to hear radio people cuss

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<v Speaker 1>and say dirty shit. Now, recently, I was wondering if

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<v Speaker 1>you were the longest running radio host in the area.

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<v Speaker 1>I know Tommy B had his spot for a long time,

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<v Speaker 1>tom Ornard, but he's been done for a few years.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you took over for Steve Cochran in the

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<v Speaker 1>late eighties or early nineties ninety three. The reason I'm

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<v Speaker 1>riding is because you mentioned having old radio tapes of

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<v Speaker 1>yourself that you don't know what to do with. There

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<v Speaker 1>is a local place that will take them. One place

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<v Speaker 1>that might is TC Media now they mostly deal with video,

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<v Speaker 1>not one hundred percent sure. Another place is radiotapes dot Com.

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<v Speaker 1>They will upload the tapes to the Internet so everybody

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<v Speaker 1>can listen and enjoy them. That's all I have for now.

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<v Speaker 1>Keep up the fucking kick ass show. Maybe I'll see

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<v Speaker 1>you next time you stop at Long Horns Burger House House,

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<v Speaker 1>dart Lick Lick Lick front side only, okay from Jesse? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>thanks Jesse. I really don't know what to do with

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<v Speaker 1>all of those now. I will say, I've got an

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<v Speaker 1>EMAILA can you.

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<v Speaker 4>Answer that question?

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<v Speaker 1>What's question?

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<v Speaker 4>He said? Are you the longest standing host cities?

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<v Speaker 1>I think Tom Bernard still beat me because I think

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<v Speaker 1>he's been off of KQ for a year or two

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<v Speaker 1>or three.

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<v Speaker 4>But like currently, who's on air? Every one?

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<v Speaker 1>I would say, even the people over at w CCO,

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<v Speaker 1>because I think that everybody who predated me a w

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<v Speaker 1>CCO they are all retired now.

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<v Speaker 4>The only other people I don't know how long they've

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<v Speaker 4>been on, but what about.

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<v Speaker 1>Dan Barrero could be Yeah, you could be right.

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<v Speaker 4>Close to around the same time as you too.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I don't know that you bring that up. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think that I am the longest running, but definitely

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<v Speaker 1>right up there.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So now the next one I'm going to save till

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<v Speaker 1>tomorrow because it requires a flashback. Jannita wrote in and

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<v Speaker 1>she said, I think she did a rant about how

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<v Speaker 1>she was out at a store somewhere and there's a

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<v Speaker 1>kid calling his mom you bitch, a stupid bitch. You

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<v Speaker 1>done talking, bitch and bitch bitch, and Jannita walked in

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<v Speaker 1>and said, you are I am your worst nightmare. You're

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<v Speaker 1>not going to talk to your mom like that. And

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<v Speaker 1>so we heard that story, We're like, okay, wow, that's

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<v Speaker 1>a great story. Then Juanita said, I ran into that

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<v Speaker 1>woman at the gas station and she thanked me profusely. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I now have an email from the woman. She said.

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<v Speaker 1>I heard on a podcast featuring Miss Juanita from December

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<v Speaker 1>third called I'm your nurse Worst Nightmare. This was interesting

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<v Speaker 1>to me because I am the woman who had the

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<v Speaker 1>unruly child in Target. I always wanted to know who

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<v Speaker 1>she was because she is my hero. And we'll get

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit more of the backstory. So small world.

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<v Speaker 1>Juanita sees a woman in Target whose little kid is

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<v Speaker 1>berating her one Nita steps in. They both listen to

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<v Speaker 1>the Minnesota Goodbye. What are the chances? So we will

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<v Speaker 1>hear from this woman tomorrow on the Minnesota Goodbye? And

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<v Speaker 1>we'd love to hear from you too. Send your emails

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<v Speaker 1>in about whatever you want to ask about Ryan Show

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<v Speaker 1>at KDWB dot com.