Speaker 1: I got a very cute email here to start on
Speaker 1: the Minnesota Goodbye. It's Saint Patrick's Day. As we record this,
Speaker 1: and Derek writes in it said, my son is in
Speaker 1: third grade and he had to draw a leprechaun for
Speaker 1: Saint Patrick's Day. And he named his leprechaun one h
Speaker 1: one point three kd wbs. He has blue eyes, green hair,
Speaker 1: four foot ten, forty five pounds and he was last
Speaker 1: scene and then he had to fill in, where's last scene?
Speaker 1: Last scene eating at a bar? And I think that's adorable.
Speaker 2: So about four ten and forty five pounds, that's dangerously thin.
Speaker 1: Well it's a leprechaun. Yeah, that's not the kid, that's
Speaker 1: the leprechaun.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, longtime listeners, Second time writer from Katie, just writing
Speaker 1: to say something I think about nearly every day. I
Speaker 1: listened to your show relatability during the fallon and later
Speaker 1: Drake transitions. I thought, uh, I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: able to relate to anybody new on the show ever
Speaker 1: again it's all over for my morning show. Lol. Did
Speaker 1: you prove me wrong? I think relatability is important for
Speaker 1: a voice you listen to every day think love is blind,
Speaker 1: and Dave is an easy one to relate to. It
Speaker 1: everybody's favorite suburban dad and someone we've gotten to know
Speaker 1: over the years. Jenny is relatable as a former party
Speaker 1: girl turn home fitness influencer who's into her own sometimes
Speaker 1: solo hobbies and Awesome Bailey was an easy one to
Speaker 1: fit into the gap I as the serial single girl
Speaker 1: in my thirties. But Bailey is more aspirational than I
Speaker 1: ever was in her activities and ability to make friends.
Speaker 1: Also awesome Vaunt. When I first heard that you were
Speaker 1: a super young twenty guy twenty something guy, replace it
Speaker 1: another super young twenties guy, I was nervous. Oh no,
Speaker 1: he's from the East Coast. Blah, he's gonna be another
Speaker 1: goofball again. I was wrong. The things that make Vont
Speaker 1: relatable and successful is he can sometimes be an old
Speaker 1: soul and a young voice. The way he easily jumps
Speaker 1: from gen z to spitting seventies TV show references is
Speaker 1: so charm. As a suburban late thirties mom, we should
Speaker 1: have nothing in common, and maybe don't on the surface,
Speaker 1: but you just have a way to constantly surprise me
Speaker 1: with your maturity and reference opinions and speaking also awesome
Speaker 1: any who have a great day, Ryan Show. If this
Speaker 1: was boring, I don't care if you read it on
Speaker 1: the show. That is Katie suburban mom in Victoria, Victoria,
Speaker 1: n K.
Speaker 2: I walked to Victoria once, Katie, and it was lovely.
Speaker 2: Victoria is really nice.
Speaker 1: It's cute little town. Yeah. I'm going to send that
Speaker 1: to you, Jenny, so we can actually read that on
Speaker 1: the regular show because I like that. You know what's
Speaker 1: a cute little town that I've been there a few
Speaker 1: times now was Downtown Hopkins. Yes, the main street Doptown
Speaker 1: Hopkins is really fucking cool. Yeah, And I've gone there
Speaker 1: the last i don't know, maybe a couple of months,
Speaker 1: to play cribbage with my friend Mel on Saturdays, and
Speaker 1: we went to Monka Beans I think Monga Beans, yeah,
Speaker 1: Monk of Beans. Yeah, But they're so crowded that we
Speaker 1: don't go there anymore because they're too popular. So across
Speaker 1: the street is a place called bear K Brewing. So
Speaker 1: I met her there for cribbage on Saturday. And I'm
Speaker 1: driving down to get gas at the Shell station and
Speaker 1: I think down the street and I drove past all
Speaker 1: these cool little shops. Oh, just the coolest little shops
Speaker 1: and one had ukuleles hanging in the window. Oh, so
Speaker 1: I stopped buy I'm not going to buy another one.
Speaker 1: But I was asking about lessons, so I signed up
Speaker 1: for lessons for ukulele Wednesday nights. I think I signed
Speaker 1: up for two months of lessons Wednesday nights.
Speaker 4: Did you get you're going to physically go there?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 3: Are you?
Speaker 2: Is it like leveled? Like are you taking intermediate? Because
Speaker 2: you're good at ukulele?
Speaker 1: All right now? I mean thanks, but I'm I'm I'm
Speaker 1: a good advanced beginner or like lower intermediate. But I
Speaker 1: want to get better. I want to be like, Wow,
Speaker 1: that's really cool. And I don't know where to go.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to what step to take next.
Speaker 1: So this guy, I said, is he a good ukulele teacher?
Speaker 1: He said, yes, he's a good yukula lately teachers. So yeah,
Speaker 1: Downtown Hopkins chuck it out. Okay, thank you, Katie. I
Speaker 1: got to hit de lead on a couple of these.
Speaker 1: Here and here we go. Nicole writes in Good Morning.
Speaker 1: I was reading a book this weekend and came across
Speaker 1: a joke that was used on your show a few
Speaker 1: years ago. The joke was you would ask a caller
Speaker 1: how many people worked at their place of employment, and
Speaker 1: they were supposed to respond with about half. I've attached
Speaker 1: a picture of the page with a stolen joke from
Speaker 1: a book that was released in twenty twenty three. I
Speaker 1: know it probably wasn't stolen from your show, but I
Speaker 1: got a chuckle when I read it, and I had
Speaker 1: to share it with you. Hope you have a great
Speaker 1: day from Nicole. Let's look because she has the file here.
Speaker 4: It doesn't say what book it is, right, Well.
Speaker 1: The funny thing is it's got the wrong orientation, so
Speaker 1: I can't read it because it's turned sideways. So let
Speaker 1: me save it and then I will open it up,
Speaker 1: save and then doing that.
Speaker 4: Speaking of like local authors, I remember reading this book
Speaker 4: that was based out of Minneapolis and it was like
Speaker 4: a stalker guy who was basically murdering all these women.
Speaker 4: And I had to stop reading it because it was
Speaker 4: so specific to like areas I frequent and obviously it
Speaker 4: was fiction, yeah, but it was just so cepy.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I had to stop reading it because it was like
Speaker 4: based out of Minneapolis.
Speaker 2: I read a book that was like a murder mystery too,
Speaker 2: but it was set in like nineteen ten, so it
Speaker 2: was neat that way because they were talking about like
Speaker 2: street cars and someone got murdered on a street car
Speaker 2: coming out of going towards Excelsior or whatever, and those
Speaker 2: don't exist anymore, so at least I could remove myself
Speaker 2: a little bit from that scary story.
Speaker 1: It's kind of cool because street cars used to go
Speaker 1: into Excelsior, all the way into downtown Excelsior and even
Speaker 1: passed it. There was a train that all the way
Speaker 1: went all the way to Victoria and probably passed there.
Speaker 3: I wish street.
Speaker 2: Cars were still a thing, because they're way more economical
Speaker 2: and better for like the earth.
Speaker 1: Well, you know who did away with street cars the
Speaker 1: automobile industry. I know, because the automobile industry, Like I
Speaker 1: don't know all of the deal wheelings and dealings, but
Speaker 1: people in the automobile industry wanted us to buy cars,
Speaker 1: not take the street car. That's why every city used
Speaker 1: to have streetcar routes, but now they don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you could move farther away, and you
Speaker 2: used to only be able to live in city limits,
Speaker 2: and then you could only live in streetcar limits, and
Speaker 2: then once the car was invented, you could live wherever you.
Speaker 1: Are and where you wanted to.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: So anyway, the book apparently is like, it's a joke
Speaker 1: that says how many people work at the Pentagon? About half?
Speaker 1: And it's a joke in the book. So you know what,
Speaker 1: that was not my joke. I don't know where I
Speaker 1: got it, Nicole, but it's definitely not a joke that
Speaker 1: I came up with. I did come up with. How
Speaker 1: did you find so you listen in Milwaukee? How did
Speaker 1: you find our show? Do you remember the answer on
Speaker 1: that one?
Speaker 3: No? I do?
Speaker 1: What is okay? So, Jenny, you listen all the way
Speaker 1: in Milwaukee? You're not from here? How did you find
Speaker 1: our show?
Speaker 4: A little tacky?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that was the joke we used for a
Speaker 1: while now, that one I did make up. So you
Speaker 1: listen in Baltimore? Yeah, how did you find our show?
Speaker 3: Mmmm?
Speaker 1: Mid No, No, no, you're supposed to say a little tacky?
Speaker 3: Listen? Can I play the game my own way?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: Okay, next one.
Speaker 4: Follow his joke exactly.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's see Dave. Now we're gonna skip that one.
Speaker 1: That's about it. It's about something I don't really want
Speaker 1: to talk about on the show. So it's not that
Speaker 1: it's not bad, I just don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Stephanie says, had a good time meeting you guys at
Speaker 1: Dave and Buster's. I was shaking. I was so nervous.
Speaker 1: I forgot to say I have both of Dave's books,
Speaker 1: and my little girl loves Dave's Amazing Day. Only after
Speaker 1: we left it I remember to tell her she had
Speaker 1: just met the author of the book. I read Little
Speaker 1: Dave's Amazing Day to Ava, who is four and a half,
Speaker 1: and there's little parts where Dave gets his shirt stuck
Speaker 1: on his head and makes a mess with the jelly
Speaker 1: at break breakfast, and Ava points and laughs like she's
Speaker 1: never seen it before. Look he's making a mess.
Speaker 3: He's very cute.
Speaker 1: When Alison and Ava. When Alison's Ava and Mayeva were
Speaker 1: the same age. I loved hearing the pregnancy update for
Speaker 1: Alison during the pandemic, since I was going through the
Speaker 1: same thing. I promise I didn't steal the name, though
Speaker 1: I had it picked out before Alison picked it out.
Speaker 1: I thought I was being somewhat unique by using an
Speaker 1: older name, but not a weirdly old name. Apparently it
Speaker 1: was number three on the Social Securities Baby list for
Speaker 1: that year. Oh well, I still love it, so Ava
Speaker 1: came back big. Thanks for being such a great show.
Speaker 1: Here's some trivia questions for a Dave Ryan super fan.
Speaker 1: You ready to read some of the other answers? The
Speaker 1: read who fell in a manhole?
Speaker 4: Do you want to stay on the right away? Sure?
Speaker 1: Go ahead?
Speaker 4: Heay Donna, Yes, your sister, Dave's sister.
Speaker 1: Who aerated a random listener's lawn when a bit went
Speaker 1: bad on the Morning Show? Anybody know?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Fell and balin? Yep? Yeah. Who on the show has
Speaker 1: the most tattoos? Bailey Bailey? Yes, these are because she
Speaker 1: gives a ton of these.
Speaker 3: She does all.
Speaker 2: It was kind of it felt like I was meeting
Speaker 2: a celebrity when I met her on Friday, because she's.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, I'm the one who does all the quizzes.
Speaker 1: What When I walked in this morning, I said, Bailey,
Speaker 1: what do you think of my hair? And it's been
Speaker 1: an ongoing topic. We're going to drop that because nobody
Speaker 1: likes my hair, which is basically my same hair but
Speaker 1: not styled. Yes, so it's just kind of flopped over
Speaker 1: and I thought it looked good, and Bailey said, no,
Speaker 1: it's youthful on an old guy and not a good look.
Speaker 1: And then Jenny kind of agreed. She said it didn't
Speaker 1: look good either.
Speaker 4: I don't really honestly feel like it looks young at all.
Speaker 1: Okay, and then Vaught said, you look like you've really
Speaker 1: given up, like you've let your beard grow and you're
Speaker 1: not doing your hair. So Bailey said, you look like
Speaker 1: Burt Ward. Yep, And I said, who's Burt Ward?
Speaker 2: And he played Robin in Batman and Robin the like
Speaker 2: TV show from the sixties, Bert Ward.
Speaker 1: So I threw out a fun fact, and this is
Speaker 1: true Bert Ward, who was probably you know, twenty five
Speaker 1: or so when he played Robin on Batman back in
Speaker 1: the sixties. His dick was so big, and I said,
Speaker 1: Penis when I had polite conversation, but it's fun to
Speaker 1: say dick. His dick was apparently so big that it
Speaker 1: would poke through his little leotard shorts and embarrass like,
Speaker 1: you know, like it was embarrassing to put this guy
Speaker 1: on TV. Yeah, with his big old hog poking through
Speaker 1: his shorts.
Speaker 3: And I looked it up and it's true.
Speaker 2: And they apparently made him take like penis shrinking pills
Speaker 2: in order to make it all nice appear smaller.
Speaker 3: Isn't that bonkers?
Speaker 4: That doesn't work. Nobody would ever take penis shrinkings.
Speaker 1: I don't know that there's anything that would like. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, I don't increase your blood flow
Speaker 1: to your wang.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I just give it. I don't give
Speaker 2: him like some spanks or something. I don't understand. You
Speaker 2: could probably probably squeeze it in. But man, if that's
Speaker 2: if that's your biggest problem, that's not a bad problem
Speaker 2: to happen.
Speaker 1: It's not a bad problem to have. And you got
Speaker 1: to figure that he was twenty five TV show famous. Yeah,
Speaker 1: had a large hog, probably got the ladies all over
Speaker 1: the place.
Speaker 3: He was a superhero. I always thought he was cute.
Speaker 2: I had a huge crush on him when I was
Speaker 2: like seven years old on Burward.
Speaker 1: That's funny that you were watching Batman back then.
Speaker 3: We watched a lot of like shows from the sixties
Speaker 3: and seventies. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was also telling Bailey the story. One time Julie,
Speaker 1: my ex, and I were sitting into Perkins and if
Speaker 1: I were in that Perkins, I could tell you the
Speaker 1: exact booth we were in back when we were dating,
Speaker 1: and Julie said, well, you know, average penis size is
Speaker 1: about and she held her fingers and I'll explain it
Speaker 1: to you about this far apart, so I know you
Speaker 1: can't see me right now, but that is probably about
Speaker 1: nine ish inches aparture and Bailey, Julie said, an average
Speaker 1: penis is about that big, and I'm like, and she's like,
Speaker 1: I mean because she knew that I did not fit
Speaker 1: into that range at all, and so on.
Speaker 3: The lower end of the average.
Speaker 1: Yes, we joked about that a lot, but I guess
Speaker 1: Julie's experience arrigance was that the average penis was And
Speaker 1: if you take your fingers and hold them about as
Speaker 1: far apart as the top of an eight x ten
Speaker 1: piece of paper, Okay, would that be about right? No,
Speaker 1: that's that's twelve you got them to. Now that's the
Speaker 1: bottom pipe. Kay, you're moving your fingers too much.
Speaker 4: No, I feel like she's getting it.
Speaker 1: That's would you say that's average? No, Jenny, if I
Speaker 1: may be as indelicate, show me what average is with
Speaker 1: your fingers.
Speaker 4: I would say, like this, okay, and that's.
Speaker 1: About the size of a three by five card, So
Speaker 1: five inches, would you say five inches as average?
Speaker 4: Five? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Five to six?
Speaker 4: Yeah, five to six maybe, Okay, I don't know. I
Speaker 4: feel like I don't pay enough attention from all the
Speaker 4: hookups that I've had.
Speaker 3: You don't go out and measure it or anything.
Speaker 1: No, I do done there with a laser measure or
Speaker 1: hold silm.
Speaker 4: It's just that like a lot of my hookups were
Speaker 4: like quick, quickie is the darl Yeah, so I don't
Speaker 4: really recall everyone's you.
Speaker 3: Know, in an alleyway stairwell.
Speaker 1: God. Yeah, okay, I think there might be one more
Speaker 1: email that we may have time to get to. So
Speaker 1: let me see if I can find it, because I'm
Speaker 1: not ready. I'm caught unprepared. And here we go. Hello
Speaker 1: Dave and Crewe. Longtime listener. Really enjoyed the Minnesota Goodbye.
Speaker 1: For some reason, it's fun to hear radio people cuss
Speaker 1: and say dirty shit. Now, recently, I was wondering if
Speaker 1: you were the longest running radio host in the area.
Speaker 1: I know Tommy B had his spot for a long time,
Speaker 1: tom Ornard, but he's been done for a few years.
Speaker 1: I think you took over for Steve Cochran in the
Speaker 1: late eighties or early nineties ninety three. The reason I'm
Speaker 1: riding is because you mentioned having old radio tapes of
Speaker 1: yourself that you don't know what to do with. There
Speaker 1: is a local place that will take them. One place
Speaker 1: that might is TC Media now they mostly deal with video,
Speaker 1: not one hundred percent sure. Another place is radiotapes dot Com.
Speaker 1: They will upload the tapes to the Internet so everybody
Speaker 1: can listen and enjoy them. That's all I have for now.
Speaker 1: Keep up the fucking kick ass show. Maybe I'll see
Speaker 1: you next time you stop at Long Horns Burger House House,
Speaker 1: dart Lick Lick Lick front side only, okay from Jesse? Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks Jesse. I really don't know what to do with
Speaker 1: all of those now. I will say, I've got an
Speaker 1: EMAILA can you.
Speaker 4: Answer that question?
Speaker 1: What's question?
Speaker 4: He said? Are you the longest standing host cities?
Speaker 1: I think Tom Bernard still beat me because I think
Speaker 1: he's been off of KQ for a year or two
Speaker 1: or three.
Speaker 4: But like currently, who's on air? Every one?
Speaker 1: I would say, even the people over at w CCO,
Speaker 1: because I think that everybody who predated me a w
Speaker 1: CCO they are all retired now.
Speaker 4: The only other people I don't know how long they've
Speaker 4: been on, but what about.
Speaker 1: Dan Barrero could be Yeah, you could be right.
Speaker 4: Close to around the same time as you too.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know that you bring that up. I
Speaker 1: don't think that I am the longest running, but definitely
Speaker 1: right up there.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So now the next one I'm going to save till
Speaker 1: tomorrow because it requires a flashback. Jannita wrote in and
Speaker 1: she said, I think she did a rant about how
Speaker 1: she was out at a store somewhere and there's a
Speaker 1: kid calling his mom you bitch, a stupid bitch. You
Speaker 1: done talking, bitch and bitch bitch, and Jannita walked in
Speaker 1: and said, you are I am your worst nightmare. You're
Speaker 1: not going to talk to your mom like that. And
Speaker 1: so we heard that story, We're like, okay, wow, that's
Speaker 1: a great story. Then Juanita said, I ran into that
Speaker 1: woman at the gas station and she thanked me profusely. Oh,
Speaker 1: I now have an email from the woman. She said.
Speaker 1: I heard on a podcast featuring Miss Juanita from December
Speaker 1: third called I'm your nurse Worst Nightmare. This was interesting
Speaker 1: to me because I am the woman who had the
Speaker 1: unruly child in Target. I always wanted to know who
Speaker 1: she was because she is my hero. And we'll get
Speaker 1: a little bit more of the backstory. So small world.
Speaker 1: Juanita sees a woman in Target whose little kid is
Speaker 1: berating her one Nita steps in. They both listen to
Speaker 1: the Minnesota Goodbye. What are the chances? So we will
Speaker 1: hear from this woman tomorrow on the Minnesota Goodbye? And
Speaker 1: we'd love to hear from you too. Send your emails
Speaker 1: in about whatever you want to ask about Ryan Show
Speaker 1: at KDWB dot com.