Speaker 1: Callaroga Shark Media. Hi there, I'm Johnny Mack with your
Speaker 1: daily comedy news, a daily briefing on stand up comedy
Speaker 1: comedians on the comedy industry. Rob Schneider went on Twitter
Speaker 1: he declared the United States must restore the military draft
Speaker 1: for our nation's young people. Schneider said, each and every
Speaker 1: American at eighteen years of age must serve two years
Speaker 1: of military service. They could also choose to serve part
Speaker 1: of that time overseas or in a country in a
Speaker 1: volunteer capacity. Being a citizen of the United States gives
Speaker 1: us unparalleled freedoms and opportunities that are the envy of
Speaker 1: the world. However, these freedoms that we cherish do not
Speaker 1: come without a cost, Schneider continued. By protecting and preserving
Speaker 1: these freedoms, young people, regardless of race, creed, and religion,
Speaker 1: will be united in service to their country and just
Speaker 1: as importantly, to each other. Many nations around the world
Speaker 1: require their young citizens to serve their country, until recently
Speaker 1: our nation did as well. Schneider, who has never served
Speaker 1: to the military, said by reinstating the draft, young Americans
Speaker 1: would be quote put into a rigorous physical training course
Speaker 1: that they could use for the rest of their lives.
Speaker 1: He also claimed that unlike in today's universities, the military
Speaker 1: would teach them how truly great their country is. I'll
Speaker 1: jump in there, I teach you to universities. I will
Speaker 1: swear in a Bible. No one has ever come to
Speaker 1: me and told me what to say or not, not once,
Speaker 1: not at all. If there's a conspiracy, I haven't run
Speaker 1: into it yet. Rob Schneider said to the young people
Speaker 1: of America, this is your country. In your future. We
Speaker 1: will leave this great free nation in your good hands
Speaker 1: for your children and your children's children. God bless the
Speaker 1: United States of America. Schneider had referred to the draft
Speaker 1: as until recently. The last military draft in the United
Speaker 1: States was December seventh, nineteen seventy two. Actor Michael Imperioli
Speaker 1: shared on Instagram, I've got a better idea. Let's just
Speaker 1: send Rob to Iran a performance comedy. He will surrender
Speaker 1: immediately and unconditionally. We'll stay somewhat political for a moment.
Speaker 1: New York City Mayor Zoorn Mamdani joined former Republican rival
Speaker 1: Curtis Lay for a comedy sketch. If you're from the
Speaker 1: New York area, you know who Curtis Sliwa is for
Speaker 1: everybody else, He's that Guardian Angels guy that wears the
Speaker 1: red beret. You know who I'm talking about now. Mam
Speaker 1: Donnie and Sliwa participated in the sketch at the New
Speaker 1: York City Inner Circle dinner over the weekend. The sketch,
Speaker 1: apparently about cat adoptions, has gone viral. The viral clips
Speaker 1: shows Curtis Sliwa joking about destroying sinister old political dynasties.
Speaker 1: Mam Donnie jokes about being a content creator who does
Speaker 1: a little governing on the side. Not an inaccurate description.
Speaker 1: Curtis Sliwa told The New York Post he thought the
Speaker 1: sketch was great because it was promoting rescuing animals. Apparently
Speaker 1: Kelly Rippa is much more powerful than I realize. Howie
Speaker 1: Mandel has apologized to Kelly Rippa, told you over the
Speaker 1: weekend that she was reportedly upset with him. How he apologized,
Speaker 1: which I just find super curious. I went to pull
Speaker 1: the audio, but he's speaking very slowly. It would take
Speaker 1: about two minutes to get to the point. So I'll
Speaker 1: just tell you now. Last week, Mark Consuellos on the
Speaker 1: Live with Kelly and Mark's show remarked that how Mandel
Speaker 1: looks great for seventy Kelly Rippa said that that age
Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense. How he asked, what do you
Speaker 1: mean it doesn't make any sense? Marcuzwello said you look great.
Speaker 1: How he cut them off and said, I look great.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean anything to me. No, no, no, I
Speaker 1: don't like that because that's a caveat. Kelly said, we're
Speaker 1: not saying you look great for seventy. You look great.
Speaker 1: Kenswello said, yeah, you look good for a person your age,
Speaker 1: and how he fired back, it's like saying you're smart
Speaker 1: for a stupid person. Well how he has now apologized.
Speaker 1: He posted a video on Instagram. He's on the beach.
Speaker 1: He's speaking very slowly. Like I said, I pulled it,
Speaker 1: but it's just it's going to take too long. How
Speaker 1: he says, I've been debating for forty eight hours whether
Speaker 1: I should make this post or not. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm doing the right thing philosophically. I don't believe
Speaker 1: that somebody who's a comedian needs to apologize for a joke.
Speaker 1: It's a joke. It's meant as a joke. It's not
Speaker 1: meant to offend. He continued and said this is for
Speaker 1: Kelly Rippa, who in the past has been incredibly supportive.
Speaker 1: Not only have i been a guest on her show,
Speaker 1: but I've co hosted with her, and I've known her
Speaker 1: for years. When I go out there, I just try
Speaker 1: to be entertaining and funny, and sometimes as a comedian,
Speaker 1: things don't land the way you mean them to land.
Speaker 1: And I don't know how to say this, but not
Speaker 1: only do I want to say I'm sorry to Kelly,
Speaker 1: but and this is the hardest part. You're right, You're
Speaker 1: absolutely right. I'm sorry I didn't see that way. After
Speaker 1: a lot of thought and self reflection, I do look
Speaker 1: great for my age, I really do. I look fantastic.
Speaker 1: Russell Brand's trial on rape and sexual assault charges has
Speaker 1: been delayed until October. Was supposed to begin starting June sixteenth.
Speaker 1: Sky News reports the trial, which will combine all seven
Speaker 1: charges brought against Russell Brand in the last year, will
Speaker 1: now begin on October twelfth. It's expected to last two months.
Speaker 1: Josh Johnson will host the thirtieth annual Webby Awards. Those
Speaker 1: will be Monday, May eleventh at Cipriani Wall Street in
Speaker 1: New York City. Fancy Josh Johnson said, I'm really honored
Speaker 1: to be hosting this year's Webbys. The Internet in social
Speaker 1: media we have can be pretty devastating sometimes, so to
Speaker 1: come together and celebrate more of the Internet we want
Speaker 1: is a dream. Deadline says the next movie by the
Speaker 1: great dramatic actor Adam Sandler will be a remake of
Speaker 1: the two thousand and one French movie Time Out. The
Speaker 1: two thousand and one version tells the story of a
Speaker 1: man laid off from his job who pretends to go
Speaker 1: to work every day to avoid telling his family one happened.
Speaker 1: When Vincent is fired from his job, he can't bring
Speaker 1: himself to tell his wife and family. Rather than reveal
Speaker 1: the truth, he spins a web of lies to conceal
Speaker 1: a situation. He escalates his lies further when he creates
Speaker 1: an investment scheme and asks friends to contribute. His deception
Speaker 1: threatens to overwhelm his life and family. I still can't
Speaker 1: tell if this is serious or a comedy, so I'm
Speaker 1: looking up to see what the French version was. Wikipedia
Speaker 1: describes the two thousand and one film as a drama,
Speaker 1: in which case I highly support this film. We have
Speaker 1: to get Sailor the Oscar for Best Actor. Otherwise he's
Speaker 1: going to continue to make crappy comedies. Out today on
Speaker 1: the eight hundred Pound Guerrilla YouTube channel, Megan Gaily is
Speaker 1: Live from My Driveway. Jeff Dunham is going to host
Speaker 1: the series The Cars That Drove Us. The series, mostly
Speaker 1: recorded in twenty twenty five, features people like The Worst
Speaker 1: Person Who Ever Lived, Jay Leno and action star Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Speaker 1: Each episode features a different machine, including American car classics
Speaker 1: like the Corvette, the Firebird, and the Hummer, as well
Speaker 1: as interesting one offs like the DeLorean. Focused on crazy ideas,
Speaker 1: big successes, and magnificent failures, The Cars that Drove Us
Speaker 1: highlight wheels that were each important in their time. Jeff
Speaker 1: Dunham says, I love cars that were magnificent failures. There
Speaker 1: were somebody's dreams and ideas and artwork and technological savvy
Speaker 1: and they put together these amazing machines and then for
Speaker 1: whatever reason, they don't go. But somebody put their heart
Speaker 1: and soul in these things. Jeff Dunham says he's a collector,
Speaker 1: not a mechanic. However, while attending college, he built in
Speaker 1: flu experimental helicopters. Hmm. Jeff now has a collection that
Speaker 1: includes roughly one hundred and thirty vehicles. He says, the
Speaker 1: first exotic car bought was a nineteen ninety four Viper.
Speaker 1: That car started my interest in all this and I
Speaker 1: built a huge collection of cars from there. Some shows
Speaker 1: going on in Melbourne Matt Bell's The X Files e
Speaker 1: x Files, a comedy true crime tour. Melbourne has a
Speaker 1: dark secret. A crime has been committed and comedian Matt
Speaker 1: Bell knows where the bodies are buried. Join Matt Bell
Speaker 1: as he unravels one of the city's most shocking true
Speaker 1: asterisk crimes, a tale of desire obsession at gay dating
Speaker 1: gone horribly wrong. How does he know all this? The
Speaker 1: killer left one loose end hmm. The folks at my
Speaker 1: Melbourne Arts went to see the show, and they tell us.
Speaker 1: With each audience member armed with a pair of Bluetooth headphones,
Speaker 1: Bell guides us through a series of locations tied to
Speaker 1: the relationship at the center of the story. We move
Speaker 1: from the bar where the first date occurred, to a
Speaker 1: cinema shaped by a wicked lie, to a restaurant that
Speaker 1: ends a heartbreak on the most romantic night of the year.
Speaker 1: Sounds like fun. Sounds like Russell Peters has a little
Speaker 1: tax issue. People reports that Russell was hit with reassessments
Speaker 1: totally more than a two point one million dollars plus
Speaker 1: interest for his twenty twelve, twenty thirteen, and twenty fourteen
Speaker 1: tax years. Apparently, California's Franchise Tax Board concluded that Russell
Speaker 1: was actually a resident of California rather than a resident
Speaker 1: of Nevada. Russell is blaming his Toronto area chartered professional
Speaker 1: accountants for the tax woes. The claim reads, at all
Speaker 1: material times, the defendants, who I guess are the Canadian
Speaker 1: tax guys, had complete access to the financial, accounting and
Speaker 1: personal records necessary to determine mister Peters's US residency without
Speaker 1: limitation his California property ownership, travel patterns, vehicle leases, and
Speaker 1: time spent at California from which his true residency status
Speaker 1: would have been readily ascertainable by competent accounting and tax professionals.
Speaker 1: This gets very complicated, very quickly, and I won't let
Speaker 1: the lawyers determine what's what. Gab Iglesias was on Club
Speaker 1: chashe he talked about using a Zepich. He said, I
Speaker 1: started losing weight, but the problem with the zepic is
Speaker 1: you're going to lose more muscles than fat. He said
Speaker 1: he lost the muscles around his shoulders, which he dislikes.
Speaker 1: He also said he was approached with a freaking incredible
Speaker 1: deal of a one million dollar offer to act as
Speaker 1: the official face of a zempic. He said hisempic reach
Speaker 1: out to me many years ago. Even though it was
Speaker 1: a million dollar deal. I couldn't do it. He said
Speaker 1: it would have caused scheduling conflicts with his tour. Who knows,
Speaker 1: maybe he was on his way to riodd and I
Speaker 1: don't have his calendar. That is your comedy news for today,
Speaker 1: See tomorrow.