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<v Speaker 1>Callaroga Shark Media. Hi there, I'm Johnny Mack with your

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<v Speaker 1>daily comedy news, a daily briefing on stand up comedy

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<v Speaker 1>comedians on the comedy industry. Rob Schneider went on Twitter

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<v Speaker 1>he declared the United States must restore the military draft

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<v Speaker 1>for our nation's young people. Schneider said, each and every

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<v Speaker 1>American at eighteen years of age must serve two years

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<v Speaker 1>of military service. They could also choose to serve part

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<v Speaker 1>of that time overseas or in a country in a

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<v Speaker 1>volunteer capacity. Being a citizen of the United States gives

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<v Speaker 1>us unparalleled freedoms and opportunities that are the envy of

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<v Speaker 1>the world. However, these freedoms that we cherish do not

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<v Speaker 1>come without a cost, Schneider continued. By protecting and preserving

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<v Speaker 1>these freedoms, young people, regardless of race, creed, and religion,

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<v Speaker 1>will be united in service to their country and just

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<v Speaker 1>as importantly, to each other. Many nations around the world

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<v Speaker 1>require their young citizens to serve their country, until recently

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<v Speaker 1>our nation did as well. Schneider, who has never served

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<v Speaker 1>to the military, said by reinstating the draft, young Americans

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<v Speaker 1>would be quote put into a rigorous physical training course

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<v Speaker 1>that they could use for the rest of their lives.

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<v Speaker 1>He also claimed that unlike in today's universities, the military

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<v Speaker 1>would teach them how truly great their country is. I'll

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<v Speaker 1>jump in there, I teach you to universities. I will

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<v Speaker 1>swear in a Bible. No one has ever come to

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<v Speaker 1>me and told me what to say or not, not once,

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<v Speaker 1>not at all. If there's a conspiracy, I haven't run

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<v Speaker 1>into it yet. Rob Schneider said to the young people

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<v Speaker 1>of America, this is your country. In your future. We

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<v Speaker 1>will leave this great free nation in your good hands

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<v Speaker 1>for your children and your children's children. God bless the

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<v Speaker 1>United States of America. Schneider had referred to the draft

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<v Speaker 1>as until recently. The last military draft in the United

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<v Speaker 1>States was December seventh, nineteen seventy two. Actor Michael Imperioli

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<v Speaker 1>shared on Instagram, I've got a better idea. Let's just

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<v Speaker 1>send Rob to Iran a performance comedy. He will surrender

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<v Speaker 1>immediately and unconditionally. We'll stay somewhat political for a moment.

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<v Speaker 1>New York City Mayor Zoorn Mamdani joined former Republican rival

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<v Speaker 1>Curtis Lay for a comedy sketch. If you're from the

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<v Speaker 1>New York area, you know who Curtis Sliwa is for

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<v Speaker 1>everybody else, He's that Guardian Angels guy that wears the

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<v Speaker 1>red beret. You know who I'm talking about now. Mam

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<v Speaker 1>Donnie and Sliwa participated in the sketch at the New

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<v Speaker 1>York City Inner Circle dinner over the weekend. The sketch,

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<v Speaker 1>apparently about cat adoptions, has gone viral. The viral clips

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<v Speaker 1>shows Curtis Sliwa joking about destroying sinister old political dynasties.

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<v Speaker 1>Mam Donnie jokes about being a content creator who does

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<v Speaker 1>a little governing on the side. Not an inaccurate description.

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<v Speaker 1>Curtis Sliwa told The New York Post he thought the

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<v Speaker 1>sketch was great because it was promoting rescuing animals. Apparently

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<v Speaker 1>Kelly Rippa is much more powerful than I realize. Howie

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<v Speaker 1>Mandel has apologized to Kelly Rippa, told you over the

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<v Speaker 1>weekend that she was reportedly upset with him. How he apologized,

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<v Speaker 1>which I just find super curious. I went to pull

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<v Speaker 1>the audio, but he's speaking very slowly. It would take

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<v Speaker 1>about two minutes to get to the point. So I'll

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<v Speaker 1>just tell you now. Last week, Mark Consuellos on the

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<v Speaker 1>Live with Kelly and Mark's show remarked that how Mandel

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<v Speaker 1>looks great for seventy Kelly Rippa said that that age

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't make any sense. How he asked, what do you

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<v Speaker 1>mean it doesn't make any sense? Marcuzwello said you look great.

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<v Speaker 1>How he cut them off and said, I look great.

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<v Speaker 1>That doesn't mean anything to me. No, no, no, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't like that because that's a caveat. Kelly said, we're

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<v Speaker 1>not saying you look great for seventy. You look great.

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<v Speaker 1>Kenswello said, yeah, you look good for a person your age,

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<v Speaker 1>and how he fired back, it's like saying you're smart

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<v Speaker 1>for a stupid person. Well how he has now apologized.

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<v Speaker 1>He posted a video on Instagram. He's on the beach.

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<v Speaker 1>He's speaking very slowly. Like I said, I pulled it,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's just it's going to take too long. How

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<v Speaker 1>he says, I've been debating for forty eight hours whether

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<v Speaker 1>I should make this post or not. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm doing the right thing philosophically. I don't believe

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<v Speaker 1>that somebody who's a comedian needs to apologize for a joke.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a joke. It's meant as a joke. It's not

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<v Speaker 1>meant to offend. He continued and said this is for

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<v Speaker 1>Kelly Rippa, who in the past has been incredibly supportive.

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<v Speaker 1>Not only have i been a guest on her show,

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<v Speaker 1>but I've co hosted with her, and I've known her

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<v Speaker 1>for years. When I go out there, I just try

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<v Speaker 1>to be entertaining and funny, and sometimes as a comedian,

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<v Speaker 1>things don't land the way you mean them to land.

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't know how to say this, but not

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<v Speaker 1>only do I want to say I'm sorry to Kelly,

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<v Speaker 1>but and this is the hardest part. You're right, You're

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely right. I'm sorry I didn't see that way. After

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of thought and self reflection, I do look

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<v Speaker 1>great for my age, I really do. I look fantastic.

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<v Speaker 1>Russell Brand's trial on rape and sexual assault charges has

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<v Speaker 1>been delayed until October. Was supposed to begin starting June sixteenth.

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<v Speaker 1>Sky News reports the trial, which will combine all seven

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<v Speaker 1>charges brought against Russell Brand in the last year, will

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<v Speaker 1>now begin on October twelfth. It's expected to last two months.

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<v Speaker 1>Josh Johnson will host the thirtieth annual Webby Awards. Those

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<v Speaker 1>will be Monday, May eleventh at Cipriani Wall Street in

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<v Speaker 1>New York City. Fancy Josh Johnson said, I'm really honored

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<v Speaker 1>to be hosting this year's Webbys. The Internet in social

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<v Speaker 1>media we have can be pretty devastating sometimes, so to

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<v Speaker 1>come together and celebrate more of the Internet we want

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<v Speaker 1>is a dream. Deadline says the next movie by the

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<v Speaker 1>great dramatic actor Adam Sandler will be a remake of

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<v Speaker 1>the two thousand and one French movie Time Out. The

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand and one version tells the story of a

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<v Speaker 1>man laid off from his job who pretends to go

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<v Speaker 1>to work every day to avoid telling his family one happened.

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<v Speaker 1>When Vincent is fired from his job, he can't bring

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<v Speaker 1>himself to tell his wife and family. Rather than reveal

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<v Speaker 1>the truth, he spins a web of lies to conceal

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<v Speaker 1>a situation. He escalates his lies further when he creates

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<v Speaker 1>an investment scheme and asks friends to contribute. His deception

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<v Speaker 1>threatens to overwhelm his life and family. I still can't

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<v Speaker 1>tell if this is serious or a comedy, so I'm

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<v Speaker 1>looking up to see what the French version was. Wikipedia

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<v Speaker 1>describes the two thousand and one film as a drama,

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<v Speaker 1>in which case I highly support this film. We have

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<v Speaker 1>to get Sailor the Oscar for Best Actor. Otherwise he's

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<v Speaker 1>going to continue to make crappy comedies. Out today on

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<v Speaker 1>the eight hundred Pound Guerrilla YouTube channel, Megan Gaily is

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<v Speaker 1>Live from My Driveway. Jeff Dunham is going to host

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<v Speaker 1>the series The Cars That Drove Us. The series, mostly

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<v Speaker 1>recorded in twenty twenty five, features people like The Worst

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<v Speaker 1>Person Who Ever Lived, Jay Leno and action star Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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<v Speaker 1>Each episode features a different machine, including American car classics

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<v Speaker 1>like the Corvette, the Firebird, and the Hummer, as well

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<v Speaker 1>as interesting one offs like the DeLorean. Focused on crazy ideas,

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<v Speaker 1>big successes, and magnificent failures, The Cars that Drove Us

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<v Speaker 1>highlight wheels that were each important in their time. Jeff

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<v Speaker 1>Dunham says, I love cars that were magnificent failures. There

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<v Speaker 1>were somebody's dreams and ideas and artwork and technological savvy

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<v Speaker 1>and they put together these amazing machines and then for

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<v Speaker 1>whatever reason, they don't go. But somebody put their heart

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<v Speaker 1>and soul in these things. Jeff Dunham says he's a collector,

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<v Speaker 1>not a mechanic. However, while attending college, he built in

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<v Speaker 1>flu experimental helicopters. Hmm. Jeff now has a collection that

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<v Speaker 1>includes roughly one hundred and thirty vehicles. He says, the

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<v Speaker 1>first exotic car bought was a nineteen ninety four Viper.

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<v Speaker 1>That car started my interest in all this and I

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<v Speaker 1>built a huge collection of cars from there. Some shows

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<v Speaker 1>going on in Melbourne Matt Bell's The X Files e

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<v Speaker 1>x Files, a comedy true crime tour. Melbourne has a

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<v Speaker 1>dark secret. A crime has been committed and comedian Matt

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<v Speaker 1>Bell knows where the bodies are buried. Join Matt Bell

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<v Speaker 1>as he unravels one of the city's most shocking true

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<v Speaker 1>asterisk crimes, a tale of desire obsession at gay dating

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<v Speaker 1>gone horribly wrong. How does he know all this? The

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<v Speaker 1>killer left one loose end hmm. The folks at my

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<v Speaker 1>Melbourne Arts went to see the show, and they tell us.

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<v Speaker 1>With each audience member armed with a pair of Bluetooth headphones,

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<v Speaker 1>Bell guides us through a series of locations tied to

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship at the center of the story. We move

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<v Speaker 1>from the bar where the first date occurred, to a

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<v Speaker 1>cinema shaped by a wicked lie, to a restaurant that

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<v Speaker 1>ends a heartbreak on the most romantic night of the year.

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<v Speaker 1>Sounds like fun. Sounds like Russell Peters has a little

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<v Speaker 1>tax issue. People reports that Russell was hit with reassessments

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<v Speaker 1>totally more than a two point one million dollars plus

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<v Speaker 1>interest for his twenty twelve, twenty thirteen, and twenty fourteen

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<v Speaker 1>tax years. Apparently, California's Franchise Tax Board concluded that Russell

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<v Speaker 1>was actually a resident of California rather than a resident

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<v Speaker 1>of Nevada. Russell is blaming his Toronto area chartered professional

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<v Speaker 1>accountants for the tax woes. The claim reads, at all

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<v Speaker 1>material times, the defendants, who I guess are the Canadian

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<v Speaker 1>tax guys, had complete access to the financial, accounting and

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<v Speaker 1>personal records necessary to determine mister Peters's US residency without

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<v Speaker 1>limitation his California property ownership, travel patterns, vehicle leases, and

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<v Speaker 1>time spent at California from which his true residency status

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<v Speaker 1>would have been readily ascertainable by competent accounting and tax professionals.

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<v Speaker 1>This gets very complicated, very quickly, and I won't let

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<v Speaker 1>the lawyers determine what's what. Gab Iglesias was on Club

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<v Speaker 1>chashe he talked about using a Zepich. He said, I

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<v Speaker 1>started losing weight, but the problem with the zepic is

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to lose more muscles than fat. He said

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<v Speaker 1>he lost the muscles around his shoulders, which he dislikes.

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<v Speaker 1>He also said he was approached with a freaking incredible

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<v Speaker 1>deal of a one million dollar offer to act as

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<v Speaker 1>the official face of a zempic. He said hisempic reach

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<v Speaker 1>out to me many years ago. Even though it was

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<v Speaker 1>a million dollar deal. I couldn't do it. He said

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<v Speaker 1>it would have caused scheduling conflicts with his tour. Who knows,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe he was on his way to riodd and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't have his calendar. That is your comedy news for today,

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<v Speaker 1>See tomorrow.