WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, and welcome to Reality TV QUM. I am one

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<v Speaker 1>of your hosts, Delia, and I'm here with my real

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<v Speaker 1>tight homegirl and my daughter in law, the Stupendous BEATR.

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<v Speaker 1>That's we are here to recap a new series from

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<v Speaker 1>TLC entitled Suddenly Amaged Jess. Jess hands just the very

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<v Speaker 1>thought that you would wake up one day and be

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<v Speaker 1>suddenly amish, devoid of all of your creature comforts, the

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<v Speaker 1>conveniences of modernity. Now, all of a sudden, you've got

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<v Speaker 1>to churn your own butter, you gotta milk your own cows,

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<v Speaker 1>and you have to fashion your own sanitary napkins. This

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<v Speaker 1>sounds like a nightmare, and six people across the country

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<v Speaker 1>have signed up for just this nightmare and we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to cover it. I love it, yes, absolutely. Now, before

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<v Speaker 1>we get into a rica, we do have to issue

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<v Speaker 1>you a disclaimer. Please hid your wife and hide your kids.

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<v Speaker 1>This is an irreverent podcast. We have a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>opinions and some of them could be considered insulting. We

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<v Speaker 1>don't mean anything by it, but we do not censor ourselves,

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<v Speaker 1>and so if you're one of them senseortal people, baby,

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<v Speaker 1>you might want to find yourself another podcast, But if

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<v Speaker 1>you're ready to be introduced to an entirely new, deviant cult,

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<v Speaker 1>then welcome to this podcast I mean dumpsters.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you think that me and Delia should become

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<v Speaker 2>the next contestants on Suddenly Amish, please follow us on

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<v Speaker 2>Instagram at Reality tv Cringe and join us on Patreon

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<v Speaker 2>patre dot com slash reality tv Cringe. You get all

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<v Speaker 2>of our episodes add free over there, plus a bunch

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<v Speaker 2>of bonus content and it's a lot of fun. We'd

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<v Speaker 2>love to have you.

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<v Speaker 1>It is so much fun. Now, if you're watching on YouTube,

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<v Speaker 1>please we beseech you in an amish way to like

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<v Speaker 1>and comment and share and subscribe and also hype up

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<v Speaker 1>your girls, because any little thing you do helps us

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<v Speaker 1>in the algorith legend. And if we're growing, we're showing,

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<v Speaker 1>we're showing out. We are scaling mount six thousands and subscribers,

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<v Speaker 1>and so anything you do, thank you in thank you. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>before we get into the recap, Beatrice, I just have

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<v Speaker 1>to ask you whether you have any takeaways after watching

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<v Speaker 1>this first episode.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just like, where did they find these people?

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<v Speaker 1>Like?

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<v Speaker 2>Who auditions for this show? Who is like I want

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<v Speaker 2>to become a Suddenly Amish.

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<v Speaker 1>Clout Goblins, clout Goblins.

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<v Speaker 2>It has to be.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. My takeaway was I loved Betty Joe, Billy Joe,

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<v Speaker 1>Billy Jilly Joe. I loved her. We'll get into it.

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<v Speaker 1>I think she's the star of the show, the breakaway

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<v Speaker 1>star of this whole show.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow, and her dog Wow. I loved it all, my god.

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<v Speaker 1>So without further let's get into our recap of season one,

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<v Speaker 1>episode one, Suddenly Amish. I don't even know the title

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<v Speaker 1>of it. Do you Transform?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I mean nobody's really transformed yet in this episode.

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<v Speaker 2>But we get into the premise of the whole show,

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<v Speaker 2>so we're introduced to the Amish community. We have a

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<v Speaker 2>liberal sect of the Amish community that is wanting to

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<v Speaker 2>do this liberal liberal and this particular community in Lancaster,

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<v Speaker 2>Pennsylvania is looking for more people to join their community

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<v Speaker 2>because they're facing extinction, right and like the dodal bird. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>actually though, they're like facing extinction because all of their

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<v Speaker 2>youth are leaving in record numbers, because why would you

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<v Speaker 2>want to be Amish if you can go watch porn

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<v Speaker 2>in society and go to the clerk and go to

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<v Speaker 2>the clerk.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you are Amish, you are much more likely

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<v Speaker 1>to bang your cousin, yeah, or your sister, and that

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<v Speaker 1>leads to birth defects and the dwindling of the population, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>which they are very concerned about, are very.

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<v Speaker 2>Concerned about it. And we hear from some of these

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<v Speaker 2>Amish people that apparently a lot of Amish communities are

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<v Speaker 2>heavily imbred, which is terrible, and they don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>be like that. So they are going to invite a

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<v Speaker 2>bunch of English people, which is just anybody who's not Amish.

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<v Speaker 2>They're gonna invite a bunch of people to basically do

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<v Speaker 2>a trial run of living Amish to see if they

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<v Speaker 2>can hack it and then hopefully join their community so

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<v Speaker 2>that way they can breed with them and repopulate.

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<v Speaker 1>God, it sounds like Midsummer.

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<v Speaker 2>That's kind of what it is. Yeah, that's what they

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<v Speaker 2>said at the very beginning. And so we meet the

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<v Speaker 2>bishop of the community Vernon. Yes, and apparently in Amish culture,

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<v Speaker 2>the bishops like make all the rules. I think they

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<v Speaker 2>called it or dung or something or noong or whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm probably butchering that I don't give a fuck, And

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<v Speaker 2>he is the one that I guess pitched the show

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<v Speaker 2>basically in pitch, yeah, the premise he uh really is

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<v Speaker 2>concerned about his community going extinct, and he, I guess

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<v Speaker 2>had an English friend that he like pitched the idea too,

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<v Speaker 2>and then he had his English friend go and pitch

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<v Speaker 2>it to regular society. Because Vernon the Bishop doesn't want

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<v Speaker 2>anything to do with technology, even though he's sitting in

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<v Speaker 2>front of a camera.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's what we have to talk about. Because

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<v Speaker 1>I went up and did some investigative journalism on the

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<v Speaker 1>REDDDS and I'm like, is anybody else watching this ridiculous show?

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<v Speaker 1>And a lot of people on the Breaking Amish forum

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<v Speaker 1>are currently watching this, and they're like, this is so

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<v Speaker 1>much fakery, it is a little and they're saying that

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<v Speaker 1>this is not actually a real Amish community, like these

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<v Speaker 1>are the outcasts, oh, the outliers of other more established

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<v Speaker 1>traditional Amish communities, and they are creating this community for

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<v Speaker 1>the gram, oh, for the TV, for the plot rate,

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<v Speaker 1>like and so these are maybe ex Amish Mennonites. Because

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<v Speaker 1>when we get to Emma's house, yeah yeah, there was

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<v Speaker 1>a satellite dish on her house. I noticed that there

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<v Speaker 1>was an electric kettle in her child.

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<v Speaker 2>What are we doing.

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<v Speaker 1>But they're telling us the audience, yeah, that there's no electricity,

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<v Speaker 1>there's no tattoos, you've got to make your own clothes,

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<v Speaker 1>you can't wear me go always gotta wear a head covering.

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<v Speaker 1>But in this community, I don't think they follow those rules. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I was thinking they had to have at least been

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<v Speaker 2>like Mennadite or something, because I'm like, there's no way

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<v Speaker 2>you guys are like traditional Amish because you wouldn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to be in front of the cameras.

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<v Speaker 1>But right, you know who am I suspend your disbelief

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<v Speaker 1>so that we can enjoy the show? Right?

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<v Speaker 2>So, Vernon Bishop is on this mission. He pitched the

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<v Speaker 2>idea of this show to his English friend and they

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<v Speaker 2>got him signed up with TLC. Great, what a lucky guy.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not going to regret that at all.

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<v Speaker 2>Though, not at all. And Vernon Bishop is enlisting a

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<v Speaker 2>couple people to help. So this is where we're introduced

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<v Speaker 2>to some of the quote unquote Amish community members. First off,

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<v Speaker 2>we have is Emma and she is like Olivia Plath

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<v Speaker 2>or not Olivia Plath Lydia Plaidia Plath where she is

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<v Speaker 2>literally singing an Amish him and she is the cousin

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<v Speaker 2>of James, who we will get to later. But Emma

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<v Speaker 2>is a good Amish girl. She loves being Amish, she

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<v Speaker 2>grew up Amish, loves this lifestyle and really hopes that

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<v Speaker 2>they can find more people to join in their communities

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<v Speaker 2>because she doesn't want to become inbred like all the

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<v Speaker 2>other Amish communities. And then we meet her cousin, James,

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<v Speaker 2>who is currently shunned by his other community. So he

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<v Speaker 2>bopped on over to Lancaster and was like, Hey, can

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<v Speaker 2>I hang out with y'all because my community hates me

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<v Speaker 2>because I'm the black sheep. Because he had a cell

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<v Speaker 2>phone or something, and then he proceeds to tell us

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<v Speaker 2>that he's a bit of a troublemaker. And then we're

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<v Speaker 2>like in his house or something, and.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, we're out in the fields, like a cornfields.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, and he's like showing us his booze collection.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think that's contraband, Like, I don't think you're

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to do that.

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<v Speaker 2>But he likes to drink, he likes to party, I

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<v Speaker 2>get it. So he doesn't give a shit and he's

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<v Speaker 2>going to teach these English people a lesson. He's going

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<v Speaker 2>to basically help onboard them into the Amish community.

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<v Speaker 1>He's going to teach them how to be Homish, and

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<v Speaker 1>he's going to oversee the entire program. Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>And then the other people that we have that are

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<v Speaker 2>going to help the English people conform to Amish society

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<v Speaker 2>are Bishop Vernon's brother Alan and Alan's wife Sarah. And

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<v Speaker 2>apparently these two people have like adopted several children that

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<v Speaker 2>are English, like they adopted them from English. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 2>so they became Amish or something. And they just recently

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<v Speaker 2>lost a son of theirs due to an accident or

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<v Speaker 2>whatever in the cornfields that were not going to elaborate

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<v Speaker 2>on for some reason, but they lost a kid, and

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<v Speaker 2>they're hoping that they can, I don't know, like adopt

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<v Speaker 2>an other.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think they want to adopt. I think that

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<v Speaker 1>the reason Alan has been tapped for this role is

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<v Speaker 1>because he developed empathy for others, like outside of their

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<v Speaker 1>community visa VI these adopted children, and so he wants

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<v Speaker 1>to help these English to hopefully integrate into the community.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I guess, I guess allegedly. And then they proceed

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<v Speaker 2>to tell us that the English people that are going

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<v Speaker 2>to come into their community have thirty days to basically

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<v Speaker 2>survive being amish, and they have to make it to

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<v Speaker 2>the day of reckoning, which will be I guess their

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<v Speaker 2>initiation ritual too.

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<v Speaker 1>Are they going to have to go on top of

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<v Speaker 1>a cliff and then throw themselves off in midsummer? Are

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<v Speaker 1>they gonna have to wear a barracos to be set.

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<v Speaker 2>On fire in a church? It's kind of giving that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm afraid.

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<v Speaker 2>And so then we meet the cast members, the English contestants, right,

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<v Speaker 2>and we start off with Kendra.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, listen, I would like for you to allow me

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<v Speaker 1>to share with everyone what I wrote down about each

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<v Speaker 1>of these folks, Okay, after being introduced to them. It

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<v Speaker 1>is a little inflammatory, so trigger warning. Kendra. Kendra is

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<v Speaker 1>a mid ass thirty two year old hoe who is

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<v Speaker 1>trying to become a star in Dirty Gross La. According

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<v Speaker 1>to her, she says she's very different than her image,

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<v Speaker 1>though her faith is very important. We follow her walking

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<v Speaker 1>in La wearing next to nothing and then packing her

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<v Speaker 1>suitcase with next to nothing on. She submitted a bunch

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<v Speaker 1>of hoe photographs so we can see how sexy she is.

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<v Speaker 1>But she's desperate and we can smell it. She starts

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<v Speaker 1>to cry talking about her bad decision to start an

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<v Speaker 1>OnlyFans and seems to indicate her current pursuit of the

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<v Speaker 1>Amish lifestyle is a reaction to that. And I conclude

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<v Speaker 1>by saying she ain't shit. She really isn't She is

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<v Speaker 1>such a clout goblin.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and then like her whole like I'm a born

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<v Speaker 2>again Christian thing because her Only Fans failed, nobody paid

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<v Speaker 2>for it, so now she has to hit rock Bob

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<v Speaker 2>him and then get baptized and come to Jesus and

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<v Speaker 2>now she wants to be on there.

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<v Speaker 1>But she's still taking her hoe photographs. I'm sure she's

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<v Speaker 1>still got a Instagram, Like that's her persona. She is

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<v Speaker 1>on this show so that she can become an influencer

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<v Speaker 1>of some kind.

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<v Speaker 2>Totally because I'm like, why else are you on here?

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<v Speaker 2>Like you're not like Billy Joe, who will get to later. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>who's obsessed with the homish. Next one we have is

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<v Speaker 2>Judah from Kansas City.

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<v Speaker 1>So Judah is a twenty two year old, diminutive person

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<v Speaker 1>who is also Muslim. Interesting, Yeah, he grew up in

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<v Speaker 1>the hard streets of Kansas City and never fit in

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<v Speaker 1>And maybe that's because he gets manicures and pedicures and

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<v Speaker 1>dresses and ridiculous clothing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>He apparently saw a post on social media about the

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<v Speaker 1>Amish community and became obsessed with the Amish, though not

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<v Speaker 1>enough to figure out how to integrate into their community

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<v Speaker 1>without go go boots and rhinestones. We see him sitting

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<v Speaker 1>with his mother and his family and telling them that

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<v Speaker 1>he's leaving, and they're shocked, mainly because he's Muslim.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah and black, and they're like, what are.

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<v Speaker 1>There black Amish people? Like is that a thing? Are

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<v Speaker 1>we not worried a little bit about introducing yourself, You're

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<v Speaker 1>of African American self into an Amish community. I'm uneducated people,

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<v Speaker 1>Do we really think this is gonna go well?

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<v Speaker 2>And Judea's like, no, for real, it'll be all right,

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<v Speaker 2>Like for real, I'm gonna be fine. And I'm sure

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<v Speaker 2>there's black Amish people for real.

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<v Speaker 1>I really wish we could have had the conversation about

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<v Speaker 1>him being Muslim yea, and how his intention, how what

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<v Speaker 1>his intention is to reconcile his spirituality with the Christian

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<v Speaker 1>faith of the Amish, the very fundamentalist traditional faith of

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<v Speaker 1>the Amish, Like what is your plan here? And also

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<v Speaker 1>you are black and they are all white?

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<v Speaker 2>They're all white, all of.

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<v Speaker 1>Them, and so like, what's your mindset going into that?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you a little worried? Like have you done any research?

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<v Speaker 1>But no, we just see his boots and his rhinestones

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<v Speaker 1>and its manicures and this is gonna be a disaster.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm I'm like very entertaining that.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, are you okay? Why are you gay?

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<v Speaker 1>Why not be gay?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's fine, Like if you.

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<v Speaker 1>Are gay, why are you amish?

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<v Speaker 2>Why are you? But it's just like, what is this?

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<v Speaker 2>This one, this contestant in particular, feels the most fake

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<v Speaker 2>to me, Like that's my opinion. I don't know. He

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<v Speaker 2>just he was weird. And then didn't he say something

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<v Speaker 2>like he's grossed out or afraid of like farm stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm worried about that.

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<v Speaker 1>And his mom says like he's got a phobia with bugs,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, this is a terrible choice.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a.

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<v Speaker 1>Choice, but I'm here for it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yep. Next time we have is Esmeralda, and I had

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<v Speaker 2>a little description about her too, but you read yours verse.

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<v Speaker 1>Esmeralda lives in Houston and wears a lot of makeup,

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<v Speaker 1>just like her single mother who raised her alone. Because

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<v Speaker 1>her dad left. She has a man shaped hole in

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<v Speaker 1>her heart and in her badge. She seems incredibly insecure,

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<v Speaker 1>and she too seems to be panicking about where her

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<v Speaker 1>life is going. She's twenty seven and her life doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>seem great. She's looking for a man to take care

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<v Speaker 1>of her. I e. She's got traditional values, which is

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<v Speaker 1>code for probably no education, no real prospects, and so

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<v Speaker 1>she needs to barnacle onto a dude who will pay

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<v Speaker 1>her bills. She loves traditional roles, traditional values. She doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>want to be a girl boss. She wants to meet

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<v Speaker 1>in who could take care of her period.

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<v Speaker 2>Girl, I'm like, you can find a trad dude in

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<v Speaker 2>Texas of all places. Yeah, Like you can find a

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<v Speaker 2>trad dude without having to become Amish. But okay, she's

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<v Speaker 2>got daddy issues.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yes, yes.

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<v Speaker 2>Major daddy issues. And like the second I saw her

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<v Speaker 2>false eyelashes and them lip fillers, I'm like, girl, you

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<v Speaker 2>gotta have a roof tuh come in Amish? But like

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<v Speaker 2>whatever you do, you boo boo?

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<v Speaker 1>Is that your description? Well?

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<v Speaker 2>And like the fact that she said she had traditional

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<v Speaker 2>values and she's like, I love the Amish because they

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<v Speaker 2>uphold traditional values because the women don't have to work.

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<v Speaker 1>Like okay, Well she also said they all look alike, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and they all dress the same, so I don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to compete. So that's her inner wound crying out for

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<v Speaker 1>help because she does feel like she has to compete

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<v Speaker 1>in her life. She feels like she has to wear

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<v Speaker 1>all of this makeup and do herself up in a

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<v Speaker 1>certain way in order to be attractive. And it's like,

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<v Speaker 1>that's the kind of stuff. I hope that maybe we

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<v Speaker 1>can deconstruct on tlc'd great, but I doubt it.

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<v Speaker 2>I doubt it too. Next one we have is Aaron Noble,

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<v Speaker 2>and in my opinion, he's the kmart Frank Rillo from Kingdom.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, did you watch Kingdom?

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<v Speaker 2>Of course?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you watch all seasons? Attendon so so good, So

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<v Speaker 1>I say. Erin is a forty two year old special

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<v Speaker 1>needs teacher.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't say anything, I didn't do anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, who seems very concerned with his hair. He is

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<v Speaker 1>the son of an evangelical pastor moonlighted as an Amish driver.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess he drove the Amish around. But Aaron's forty

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00:15:58.440 --> 00:16:02.159
<v Speaker 1>two year old man is to quote fit in and

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00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:06.360
<v Speaker 1>be like everyone else, which is really fucking sad for

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00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:09.200
<v Speaker 1>a person in your forties. Like, if you're in your forties,

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00:16:09.200 --> 00:16:11.759
<v Speaker 1>it's two middle fingers up, I am who I am?

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<v Speaker 1>If you don't like it, kiss these cheeks for Saron.

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<v Speaker 1>I want you to feel that way. But he doesn't.

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<v Speaker 1>He just wants to fit in, and we do learn

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit more about that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he likes to work out and is looking for

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<v Speaker 1>a change in his life. He is a very spiritual person.

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<v Speaker 1>And then we have this kind of weird segment. This

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00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:31.440
<v Speaker 1>was weird of his intro where he says that he

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<v Speaker 1>lost his virginity at the age of thirty two, which

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00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:38.240
<v Speaker 1>is interesting in and of itself, but then he adds

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<v Speaker 1>in the statement that it was kind of forced upon him.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like he didn't want to.

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<v Speaker 1>And so the producer is like, so you mean you

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00:16:47.519 --> 00:16:51.120
<v Speaker 1>were graped? Yeah, and he's like, yeah, I wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>save myself for marriage and didn't work out that way.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's tragic. Yeah, and I feel terrible. He also

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<v Speaker 1>alludes to the fact that he has some kind of

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<v Speaker 1>a disability and he's a bit nervous about how that's

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<v Speaker 1>going to work within the community, and I wondered aloud

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<v Speaker 1>and to my husband whether that disability was a micro.

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<v Speaker 2>Penis You're so mean. I wonder about.

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<v Speaker 1>Guys who are virgins laid into life and or like

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<v Speaker 1>not coupled up and you're in your forties. Is it

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<v Speaker 1>because upedis is a half an inch long? Is it

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<v Speaker 1>a little Vienna's fault?

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00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:23.279
<v Speaker 2>Maybe he was waiting.

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<v Speaker 1>For the right woman, I know. And that's when I

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00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:28.319
<v Speaker 1>started feeling so bad about myself, like I'm so jaded

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<v Speaker 1>after all these years that my first my first thought

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00:17:31.559 --> 00:17:34.079
<v Speaker 1>is that you're disabled because you have a micropedia.

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00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:35.440
<v Speaker 2>Because he has actual disability.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, we learn about that, and I felt so guilty,

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<v Speaker 1>but not guilty enough not to share what I thought

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<v Speaker 1>with everybody else.

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<v Speaker 2>God. The next one we have is Billy Joe, who

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<v Speaker 2>is a Amish cosplayer.

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<v Speaker 1>Period that's the period.

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<v Speaker 2>A forty something year old Amish forty six.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah stop stop right here. So she's a forty six

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<v Speaker 1>year old woman who has been a y with amishness

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<v Speaker 1>for twenty years and she's been dressing as an Amish

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<v Speaker 1>person for ten years.

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<v Speaker 2>Like she literally fast.

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<v Speaker 1>She goes to her job and she pours the coffees

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<v Speaker 1>in her full Amish garb, and we've got a couple

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00:18:14.519 --> 00:18:17.480
<v Speaker 1>of customers are like, do you think that this is

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<v Speaker 1>maybe offensive to.

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00:18:18.680 --> 00:18:20.839
<v Speaker 2>Actual Amish people appropriating it?

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<v Speaker 1>Like, my culture is not your costume, and She's like,

359
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<v Speaker 1>absolutely not. I worship the Amish, I love the Amish.

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<v Speaker 1>I have faceless dolls that are Amish. I dress my

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<v Speaker 1>Chitsu dog god pass an Amish person. I love the homage.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, Okay, that's fabulous. But then I'm thinking

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<v Speaker 1>to myself, Beatrice, if you would allow me to express this.

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<v Speaker 1>So you want to bring in English people, you want

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<v Speaker 1>to recruit outsiders so that you can diversify the gene pool.

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<v Speaker 1>But Billie Joe is the forty six years old I

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<v Speaker 1>mean then, and it has been known that like some

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<v Speaker 1>miracle ladies with turbo uterisic can produce babies well into

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<v Speaker 1>their forties and even their fifties. I've read articles about that.

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<v Speaker 1>But for most of us women, as we age, we

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<v Speaker 1>kind of age out of concepcion. Yes, you know, early forties.

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<v Speaker 2>There is a biological clock.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I'm just wondering, why are we bringing Billy

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<v Speaker 1>Joe in other than for the humor, totally for that

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00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:24.920
<v Speaker 1>for the laughs, it's that and for the joy that

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00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:25.839
<v Speaker 1>I get out of it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's totally that. Because the guy before that was talking

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<v Speaker 2>about his essay, Yeah, and his disability is done.

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<v Speaker 1>We need some levity.

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<v Speaker 2>We do need some levity, and Billy Joe's here.

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<v Speaker 1>To bring it.

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00:19:36.359 --> 00:19:40.480
<v Speaker 2>Billy Joe the forty six year old Amish cosplayer. And

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<v Speaker 2>then the last contestant that we have contestants is Nat

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<v Speaker 2>from Texas.

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<v Speaker 1>And he's a nothing burger. He's a thirty No, he's

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<v Speaker 1>not a loser.

387
00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:51.160
<v Speaker 2>He is.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a librarian. I think that's a real job.

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<v Speaker 2>That's great.

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00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:59.519
<v Speaker 1>He's a thirty five year old librarian from it looks

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00:19:59.559 --> 00:20:02.519
<v Speaker 1>like East Texas. He's got two twins that are seven

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00:20:02.599 --> 00:20:05.519
<v Speaker 1>years old, and he feels lost. He's like, I never

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<v Speaker 1>expected to be feeling like this at thirty five years old.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I don't have my shit together. I

395
00:20:11.799 --> 00:20:13.839
<v Speaker 1>don't know where my life is going. So I'm just

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00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:17.440
<v Speaker 1>gonna leave my children and make gainful employment and I'm

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00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:20.799
<v Speaker 1>gonna go to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and I'm gonna pretend to

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<v Speaker 1>be Amish for thirty.

399
00:20:21.799 --> 00:20:25.359
<v Speaker 2>Days and hook up with an OnlyFans model that.

400
00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:28.799
<v Speaker 1>Is being telegraphed, it's being forecasted out. Yeah, yeah, that's it.

401
00:20:29.240 --> 00:20:32.160
<v Speaker 2>So he's a loser in my opinion, because I'm just like,

402
00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:34.160
<v Speaker 2>why are you gonna leave your babies, yeah, to go

403
00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:37.400
<v Speaker 2>become fami loser activities. And also I'm like, if you

404
00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:39.200
<v Speaker 2>have these kids and you're a single dad, are your

405
00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:41.240
<v Speaker 2>kids gonna become amish? Or are you just gonna leave them

406
00:20:41.240 --> 00:20:44.480
<v Speaker 2>with their mom or like a family member? Are you like?

407
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:48.759
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's a good point. I do think that illustrates

408
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:51.400
<v Speaker 1>that he's probably just doing this for the gram and

409
00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:54.559
<v Speaker 1>he's probably not serious, and maybe he's catching like a

410
00:20:54.680 --> 00:20:57.759
<v Speaker 1>he's getting a cute little check or something, probably two

411
00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:00.519
<v Speaker 1>thousand dollars for thirty days when they were just getting

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00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:02.079
<v Speaker 1>away from his life for a little while.

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00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:04.039
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, some the way he can feel better about the

414
00:21:04.039 --> 00:21:05.279
<v Speaker 2>fact that he's a librarian.

415
00:21:05.799 --> 00:21:07.119
<v Speaker 1>What's wrong with that thing?

416
00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:08.400
<v Speaker 2>Librarians are cool.

417
00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:11.720
<v Speaker 1>As fuck, libraries are cool. Reading is cool totally.

418
00:21:11.799 --> 00:21:14.759
<v Speaker 2>But maybe he wants to do something else and that's fine,

419
00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:18.279
<v Speaker 2>just like, go do that instead of becoming suddenly amish.

420
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<v Speaker 2>But all right, all right, okay, So then everybody arrives

421
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<v Speaker 2>in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and they all have to walk their

422
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:27.720
<v Speaker 2>bags from wherever the gozone dropped them off.

423
00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:34.799
<v Speaker 1>And here comes Judah Honey with these platform patent leather

424
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:39.519
<v Speaker 1>high heel boots or whatever and a rhine stone belt.

425
00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:41.559
<v Speaker 1>I have a belt just like this that I bought

426
00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:42.519
<v Speaker 1>in twenty tens.

427
00:21:42.680 --> 00:21:43.119
<v Speaker 2>Stop it.

428
00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:45.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, when you have those like bedazzled jeans like western

429
00:21:45.960 --> 00:21:50.160
<v Speaker 1>wear anyway, So he's wearing this bedazzled belt and he's

430
00:21:50.279 --> 00:21:54.240
<v Speaker 1>looking very fashion. Yeah, but you're coming to an Amish community,

431
00:21:54.279 --> 00:21:56.400
<v Speaker 1>and I just wonder, what have you thought about that?

432
00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:57.839
<v Speaker 1>Did you think about that?

433
00:21:57.839 --> 00:22:00.799
<v Speaker 2>Though? No, he didn't, okay, because he's twenty two years old. Yeah,

434
00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:03.759
<v Speaker 2>he also gets many petties like every two weeks and

435
00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:06.480
<v Speaker 2>his haircut every two weeks. There's nothing wrong with that, No,

436
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:07.200
<v Speaker 2>not at all.

437
00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:09.279
<v Speaker 1>But you're not going to be able to do that

438
00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:11.319
<v Speaker 1>in your Amish community.

439
00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:14.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I'll just leave it there because I won't

440
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:15.680
<v Speaker 2>be super offensive.

441
00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:18.480
<v Speaker 1>And then here comes Kendra. Kendra, Remember she's the only

442
00:22:18.519 --> 00:22:21.920
<v Speaker 1>fans girl from LA who's trying to make it as

443
00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:26.039
<v Speaker 1>a dancer. Woe herself, trying to make it as but

444
00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:28.960
<v Speaker 1>she's still dance and she still got her hoe photographs anyway,

445
00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:31.759
<v Speaker 1>So she comes trotten up into the Amish community wearing

446
00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:35.759
<v Speaker 1>what Billy Joe calls Betty Joe, Billy Joe, Billy Joe,

447
00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:40.279
<v Speaker 1>Billy Joe calls cheerleader smut. Yeah, dress a cheerleader smut.

448
00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:44.319
<v Speaker 1>Dress like her titties are all they're up, perky, perking out,

449
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:47.319
<v Speaker 1>and her legs are all out, and like, I've traveled

450
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:51.359
<v Speaker 1>around the world and AII had to know how to

451
00:22:51.480 --> 00:22:55.640
<v Speaker 1>dress when I went into certain cultures and certain countries.

452
00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:59.079
<v Speaker 1>Like if it's a more conservative culture, then I'm going

453
00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:01.920
<v Speaker 1>to cover up. That doesn't mean that I have to

454
00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:03.920
<v Speaker 1>at home, that doesn't mean I have to even believe

455
00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:06.880
<v Speaker 1>in that, but it's as a respect to your culture.

456
00:23:06.960 --> 00:23:09.119
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna show up and try to assimilate. I'm not

457
00:23:09.160 --> 00:23:10.559
<v Speaker 1>gonna come in look and leg ah.

458
00:23:10.920 --> 00:23:13.039
<v Speaker 2>I know it's kind of crazy what she wore. And

459
00:23:13.079 --> 00:23:16.640
<v Speaker 2>then we have Billy Joe wearing her her Amish costume.

460
00:23:17.079 --> 00:23:20.599
<v Speaker 2>And then at least like es Morelda had the sense

461
00:23:20.680 --> 00:23:23.640
<v Speaker 2>to wear like a T shirt and long pants and stuff.

462
00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:27.680
<v Speaker 2>And I'm not saying I'm not endorsing that women need

463
00:23:27.720 --> 00:23:31.319
<v Speaker 2>to cover themselves up or like dress conservatively, but if you.

464
00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:35.079
<v Speaker 1>Are going in the Amish, yes, hello, there's nothing wrong

465
00:23:35.119 --> 00:23:38.279
<v Speaker 1>with the hell where we do. It's not respectful. In fact,

466
00:23:38.319 --> 00:23:42.920
<v Speaker 1>it's disrespectful. And even though Esmeralda showed up with like

467
00:23:43.480 --> 00:23:46.680
<v Speaker 1>appropriate clothing, she still had all of her lashes and

468
00:23:46.839 --> 00:23:49.319
<v Speaker 1>makeup and nails out to here.

469
00:23:49.640 --> 00:23:52.960
<v Speaker 2>And I'm just like, you girls are stoopid. I mean,

470
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:55.359
<v Speaker 2>it's just as bad though as Judah coming in with

471
00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:58.319
<v Speaker 2>indeed heels in its fucking ride stuff.

472
00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:02.880
<v Speaker 1>Aaron and Matthew showed up and they were perfectly appropriate,

473
00:24:02.920 --> 00:24:05.119
<v Speaker 1>and so Billy Joe because she showed up as an

474
00:24:05.160 --> 00:24:07.720
<v Speaker 1>almenshon woman that she's been caused playing the last ten

475
00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:10.799
<v Speaker 1>years exactly, but those other ones were just ridiculous yep.

476
00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:14.799
<v Speaker 2>And so once everybody arrives, immediately Kendra and Matt start

477
00:24:14.839 --> 00:24:18.440
<v Speaker 2>making googly eyes to each other because Matt is super

478
00:24:18.440 --> 00:24:21.039
<v Speaker 2>horny for her because her tits are out, and Kendra

479
00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:25.920
<v Speaker 2>is desperate correct, So she looks at Mad and she's like, Wow,

480
00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:27.480
<v Speaker 2>he's the only cute guy here.

481
00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:32.039
<v Speaker 1>I better bang Aaron's handsome yeah, okay.

482
00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:36.279
<v Speaker 2>And a kmar frank grillow kind of fling. And so

483
00:24:36.480 --> 00:24:39.160
<v Speaker 2>once they're all waiting there, then Bishop Vernon arrives from

484
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:43.279
<v Speaker 2>the barn and he gives everybody like the rules of

485
00:24:43.480 --> 00:24:49.240
<v Speaker 2>the game, essentially the Squid Games. They have to conform

486
00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:53.359
<v Speaker 2>to Amish lifestyle within thirty days, and then at the

487
00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:55.559
<v Speaker 2>end of the thirty days, at the day of the reckoning,

488
00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:57.640
<v Speaker 2>then they can decide if they want to leave or

489
00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:01.640
<v Speaker 2>stay and be Amish permanently. After giving the rules, then

490
00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:04.119
<v Speaker 2>Bishop Vernon's like, Kendra, can I talk to you real

491
00:25:04.160 --> 00:25:09.319
<v Speaker 2>quick in the barn? And She's like sure, and he

492
00:25:09.400 --> 00:25:12.359
<v Speaker 2>goes and has a chat with her, a based chat

493
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:14.960
<v Speaker 2>with her, I mean immediately he's like, so, why do

494
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:15.680
<v Speaker 2>you dress that way?

495
00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:18.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I get right to it, honey. Why did you

496
00:25:18.200 --> 00:25:22.079
<v Speaker 1>have the audacity did you show up to my community

497
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:23.200
<v Speaker 1>dressed like a hoe?

498
00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:27.039
<v Speaker 2>Yep? And Kendra's like, well, I'm a dancer and so

499
00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:29.519
<v Speaker 2>like my only asset is like my body, and I

500
00:25:29.559 --> 00:25:31.519
<v Speaker 2>have to show off my body because I am a dancer,

501
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:33.400
<v Speaker 2>and so that's why, like I dress the way that

502
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:35.400
<v Speaker 2>I do. And I'm like, I'm really comfortable am I

503
00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:39.279
<v Speaker 2>dress and everything? And Bishop Vernon's like, well, you know,

504
00:25:39.319 --> 00:25:43.400
<v Speaker 2>we would see that as you're missing something in your life.

505
00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:46.200
<v Speaker 1>I think he says something like we would consider that

506
00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:49.480
<v Speaker 1>to be lust. Yes, like a spirit of lust, like

507
00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:53.240
<v Speaker 1>a Jezebel spirit temptation, and we would look at all

508
00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:56.799
<v Speaker 1>your skin that you seem to want to show us,

509
00:25:56.839 --> 00:25:58.559
<v Speaker 1>and we would ask ourselves, what's wrong with her? What's

510
00:25:58.599 --> 00:26:00.640
<v Speaker 1>missing in her life? What's her intire real world?

511
00:26:00.759 --> 00:26:00.839
<v Speaker 2>Like?

512
00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:02.960
<v Speaker 1>Is something's wrong with you? You're broken.

513
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:07.839
<v Speaker 2>He also says that the other women in the Amish

514
00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:10.640
<v Speaker 2>community would be very jealous and would not want her

515
00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:14.759
<v Speaker 2>to hang around them or their husbands, because these Amish

516
00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:18.000
<v Speaker 2>women look very different compared to Kendra, and they don't

517
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:20.920
<v Speaker 2>want their husbands being tempted or.

518
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:24.039
<v Speaker 1>Their sons or their sons, They wouldn't want their sons

519
00:26:24.039 --> 00:26:27.799
<v Speaker 1>to be tempted by somebody like Kendra. And I think

520
00:26:27.799 --> 00:26:29.880
<v Speaker 1>he said something like they would think the women would

521
00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:32.400
<v Speaker 1>think that your heart is not in the right place. Yes,

522
00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:34.599
<v Speaker 1>if you show up looking like this yet with your

523
00:26:34.640 --> 00:26:35.759
<v Speaker 1>whole ass out.

524
00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:39.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean hello. And then Kendra leaves that conversation and

525
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:42.599
<v Speaker 2>cries uh huh because she was slutshamed. And I'm just like, girl,

526
00:26:43.160 --> 00:26:46.759
<v Speaker 2>what did did you research the Amish Amish community? Do

527
00:26:46.799 --> 00:26:50.119
<v Speaker 2>you know what their ideals and their values are?

528
00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:55.039
<v Speaker 1>Well, and I'm just gonna sidebar here and presume that

529
00:26:55.079 --> 00:26:59.680
<v Speaker 1>TLC wanted them to show up all of their regalia

530
00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:03.240
<v Speaker 1>finery looking like fools so that they would have to

531
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:06.759
<v Speaker 1>be corrected and they could film that response. But Kendra

532
00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:11.720
<v Speaker 1>does seem to be legitimately upset that she was called out.

533
00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:16.839
<v Speaker 1>But I mean, like she defaults immediately into victimhood and I'm.

534
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:18.799
<v Speaker 2>Always judged by everyone for a while.

535
00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:21.039
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I look and I'm like, okay, but you could

536
00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:24.960
<v Speaker 1>have probably anticipated that's something like this would happen, and

537
00:27:25.160 --> 00:27:28.599
<v Speaker 1>maybe also look at it from their vantage point, like

538
00:27:28.680 --> 00:27:32.359
<v Speaker 1>this is highly disrespectful and you ain't shit.

539
00:27:32.279 --> 00:27:34.960
<v Speaker 2>Though, I mean, this isn't la and keep.

540
00:27:34.839 --> 00:27:38.440
<v Speaker 1>Your tears to yourself, your weaponized tears. So everybody feels

541
00:27:38.440 --> 00:27:40.279
<v Speaker 1>sorry for you, I don't feel sorry for you.

542
00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:43.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't know at all. And it's obviously just indicative

543
00:27:43.960 --> 00:27:46.880
<v Speaker 2>of what's going on with her because she feels really

544
00:27:46.880 --> 00:27:49.960
<v Speaker 2>ashamed about the fact that she had an only fans

545
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:52.119
<v Speaker 2>that failed and didn't make a lot of money.

546
00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:54.359
<v Speaker 1>Let me just can I can I just ask you

547
00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:57.039
<v Speaker 1>because I'm an oh girl, I'm a oh hit. Yeah,

548
00:27:57.240 --> 00:28:01.279
<v Speaker 1>but she started her only fans at the age of two. Seven, Yeah,

549
00:28:01.279 --> 00:28:03.599
<v Speaker 1>that's just a little bit. That's like seven years younger

550
00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:08.799
<v Speaker 1>than you. That's all four blown adult. You've been on

551
00:28:08.839 --> 00:28:11.240
<v Speaker 1>this planet, and you've been operating as an adult and

552
00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:13.559
<v Speaker 1>a free agent for quite some time, like for forty years.

553
00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:16.759
<v Speaker 1>Apparently to me, it feels like like when you're eighteen

554
00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:20.160
<v Speaker 1>nineteen and I'm gonna do OnlyFans, Yeah, but when you're

555
00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:23.279
<v Speaker 1>forty and you're doing an only fans, that sort of

556
00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:27.759
<v Speaker 1>expresses something different going on with you. Just that just

557
00:28:27.759 --> 00:28:30.880
<v Speaker 1>felt late in life to starting only fans.

558
00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:32.960
<v Speaker 2>At twenty seven yeah aka forty. Yeah.

559
00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:35.079
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean I'm just taking this is am I wrong.

560
00:28:35.720 --> 00:28:38.839
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, she probably was one of those girls

561
00:28:38.839 --> 00:28:41.240
<v Speaker 2>that like tried to be an influencer. She probably like

562
00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:44.960
<v Speaker 2>tried to make it in her sorority and like didn't

563
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.519
<v Speaker 2>make it very far. She went to college, maybe I

564
00:28:48.680 --> 00:28:51.519
<v Speaker 2>probably dropped out because she was partying or something, and

565
00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:54.640
<v Speaker 2>then maybe she fell back on OnlyFans, thinking like, well,

566
00:28:54.680 --> 00:28:57.319
<v Speaker 2>all the other girls are doing it, and I'm pretty enough,

567
00:28:57.599 --> 00:29:00.240
<v Speaker 2>so people will pay for me. But like the thing

568
00:29:00.279 --> 00:29:02.279
<v Speaker 2>is is so many people are doing OnlyFans now that

569
00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:05.039
<v Speaker 2>nobody's gonna pay for your mid ass titties.

570
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:09.119
<v Speaker 1>No, sorry, So I just it just seemed like an

571
00:29:09.240 --> 00:29:12.559
<v Speaker 1>interesting choice, Like a desperate choice that somebody who has

572
00:29:12.599 --> 00:29:14.720
<v Speaker 1>nothing to lose, that's what it is, will make in

573
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:16.799
<v Speaker 1>order to try and make some money, or somebody who's

574
00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:22.079
<v Speaker 1>seeking attention, which she really seems to be needing attention totally.

575
00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:26.480
<v Speaker 2>So she does her little crying pity party. Everybody tries

576
00:29:26.519 --> 00:29:29.000
<v Speaker 2>to comfort her. Judah is like, hey, but you know,

577
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:31.119
<v Speaker 2>Jesus was like friends with prostitutes.

578
00:29:31.200 --> 00:29:33.400
<v Speaker 1>Though, what did Billie Joe say.

579
00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:37.039
<v Speaker 2>Like Judah's basically calling her a prostitute.

580
00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:39.599
<v Speaker 1>Or something, Yeah, we welcome prostitute, Yeah, something like that.

581
00:29:39.599 --> 00:29:40.480
<v Speaker 1>I thought that was funny.

582
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:43.440
<v Speaker 2>So that was kind of ridiculous. And then after Kendra

583
00:29:43.559 --> 00:29:46.640
<v Speaker 2>cries her crocodile tears, then Bishop Vernon's like, we're gonna

584
00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:49.880
<v Speaker 2>split you into two teams because we can't have you

585
00:29:49.960 --> 00:29:51.759
<v Speaker 2>all in one same house or something. I don't know,

586
00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:55.119
<v Speaker 2>just fucking just just straight fucking, just straight fucking. So

587
00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:58.480
<v Speaker 2>they're gonna each stay with two Amish families, which are

588
00:29:58.519 --> 00:30:00.799
<v Speaker 2>the ones that we introduce we were in introduced to

589
00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:04.000
<v Speaker 2>at the beginning. So Kendra, Matt and Billy Joe are

590
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:08.039
<v Speaker 2>gonna go stay with Bishop Vernon's brother Alan and his

591
00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:13.119
<v Speaker 2>wife Sarah, and then Judah Esmeralda and Aaron are going

592
00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:15.039
<v Speaker 2>to stay with James and Emma.

593
00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:18.240
<v Speaker 1>James that devious little troublemaking rat.

594
00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:22.880
<v Speaker 2>The Amish outcast, and Emma the good Amish girl. And

595
00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:25.920
<v Speaker 2>so when Kendra, Matt and Billie Joe go to Alan

596
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:30.319
<v Speaker 2>and Sarah's house, Alan's first impression of Kendra is that

597
00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:34.240
<v Speaker 2>she's not taking this shit seriously, and he's correct, And

598
00:30:34.279 --> 00:30:35.880
<v Speaker 2>then Billy Joe has to.

599
00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:38.920
<v Speaker 1>Poop immediately, has to take a dump.

600
00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:42.480
<v Speaker 2>Has the shit right there and then where she's gonna

601
00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:45.759
<v Speaker 2>shit herself in her Armish garb. And so Alan's like, okay, sure,

602
00:30:45.799 --> 00:30:48.079
<v Speaker 2>let me show you the bathroom, which is an outhouse

603
00:30:48.279 --> 00:30:53.720
<v Speaker 2>with rotten wood, like barely any toilet paper, so.

604
00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:56.279
<v Speaker 1>There's no toilet paper. They don't use toilet paper. He

605
00:30:56.440 --> 00:30:58.720
<v Speaker 1>has her a newspaper.

606
00:31:00.519 --> 00:31:03.440
<v Speaker 2>So Billy Joe goes to take a ship.

607
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:06.640
<v Speaker 1>Wait though, He's like, yeah, we get these newspapers for free.

608
00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:08.880
<v Speaker 1>We go down there every morning and we just grab

609
00:31:09.240 --> 00:31:11.559
<v Speaker 1>a couple of these newspapers. We bring it back and

610
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:14.119
<v Speaker 1>we don't use toilet paper. We wipe with the newspapers.

611
00:31:14.400 --> 00:31:17.519
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I mean, what what I mean? What do

612
00:31:17.559 --> 00:31:18.880
<v Speaker 2>you think toilet paper is made out of.

613
00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:24.400
<v Speaker 1>It's ink on it, and then you wipe with it,

614
00:31:24.440 --> 00:31:26.720
<v Speaker 1>and now you have that ink on you all up

615
00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:28.519
<v Speaker 1>in your toilet.

616
00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:31.839
<v Speaker 2>Paper's got chemicals, and shits got chlorine and bleach and stuff.

617
00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:37.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm just scandalized. Billy Joe's like, are you serious right now?

618
00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:39.000
<v Speaker 2>But she's like, I don't care. I gotta take a

619
00:31:39.000 --> 00:31:41.359
<v Speaker 2>shit sometimes you gotta go. So she takes a ship.

620
00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:43.079
<v Speaker 2>She comes out and she's like, I think I got

621
00:31:43.079 --> 00:31:46.119
<v Speaker 2>a splinter in my ass. Let me go ask Kendra.

622
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:50.400
<v Speaker 1>To should be perfect for this. So ridiculous.

623
00:31:50.960 --> 00:31:54.319
<v Speaker 2>Then we go over to James and Emma's house, which

624
00:31:54.359 --> 00:31:58.920
<v Speaker 2>is a very different vibe, very very different vibe, very militant.

625
00:31:58.519 --> 00:32:02.599
<v Speaker 1>Like they're waiting. Emma and James are waiting on the

626
00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:06.759
<v Speaker 1>porch in their chairs, kind of in this intimidating dance.

627
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:10.440
<v Speaker 1>We've got the three of them as Mauralda, Aaron and

628
00:32:10.799 --> 00:32:13.680
<v Speaker 1>Jude Judah come up. They won't even let them bring

629
00:32:13.720 --> 00:32:18.640
<v Speaker 1>their suitcases into the home lest they defile the sacred vibration.

630
00:32:19.839 --> 00:32:21.799
<v Speaker 1>And they bring them to the home. They introduce them

631
00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:24.559
<v Speaker 1>to the quarters and Judah's legs sitting at the kitchen

632
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:26.880
<v Speaker 1>table with chairs made of wood, and he's like, I

633
00:32:26.880 --> 00:32:29.200
<v Speaker 1>can't even sit on these chairs. They're made of wood.

634
00:32:29.359 --> 00:32:33.079
<v Speaker 2>He literally says, this is too ghetto for me. I'm like, why.

635
00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:36.160
<v Speaker 1>Judah come there? One as Marlda She's like, oh my god,

636
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:40.400
<v Speaker 1>there's a fly strip catching flies and there's absolutely no

637
00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:44.400
<v Speaker 1>air conditioning and it's digy and old and I don't

638
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:44.960
<v Speaker 1>know what to do.

639
00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:47.519
<v Speaker 2>With this, yep. And then they go outside to go

640
00:32:47.559 --> 00:32:50.880
<v Speaker 2>through their suitcases because James and Emma said that they

641
00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:52.880
<v Speaker 2>have to go through and make sure they get rid

642
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:56.559
<v Speaker 2>of all their contraband and all of their other worldly items.

643
00:32:57.160 --> 00:33:00.519
<v Speaker 2>And I think they go through did they go through

644
00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:01.480
<v Speaker 2>Esmerelda's first?

645
00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:03.599
<v Speaker 1>And they go through Judas first. Okay, he's got his

646
00:33:03.720 --> 00:33:07.559
<v Speaker 1>ripped jeans right, and his flamboyant, his belts and his

647
00:33:07.720 --> 00:33:12.039
<v Speaker 1>colors and his bronstone and his boots, and they're like, yeah, no,

648
00:33:12.759 --> 00:33:15.160
<v Speaker 1>you can't bring these into the home. And I think

649
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:19.359
<v Speaker 1>Emma says something like I would be embarrassed and probably

650
00:33:19.440 --> 00:33:22.079
<v Speaker 1>shunned if I had to launder these clothes and hang

651
00:33:22.119 --> 00:33:24.039
<v Speaker 1>them up. I would be so embarrassed.

652
00:33:24.119 --> 00:33:27.799
<v Speaker 2>I mean based, I would be too. Yeah, And then

653
00:33:27.839 --> 00:33:31.039
<v Speaker 2>they go through I think Erin's next, because Esmerelda's was

654
00:33:31.079 --> 00:33:33.279
<v Speaker 2>like last because she throws a tantrum. But we go

655
00:33:33.359 --> 00:33:35.759
<v Speaker 2>through errands and he's all worried because he's got a

656
00:33:35.759 --> 00:33:39.119
<v Speaker 2>big old secret, which is his disability. And his disability

657
00:33:39.200 --> 00:33:43.119
<v Speaker 2>is that he's got hearing aids, and specifically, his hearing

658
00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:46.160
<v Speaker 2>aids that he has are Bluetooth and they're connected to

659
00:33:46.519 --> 00:33:48.680
<v Speaker 2>his phone, and if he can't have those, he can't

660
00:33:48.720 --> 00:33:51.839
<v Speaker 2>hear anything. So he's really worried that the homage people

661
00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:53.839
<v Speaker 2>are going to find his hearing aids and not let

662
00:33:53.920 --> 00:33:56.240
<v Speaker 2>him have them, and then he's gonna have to leave

663
00:33:56.359 --> 00:33:59.400
<v Speaker 2>or something. They do end up finding them, and James is, like,

664
00:34:00.039 --> 00:34:04.160
<v Speaker 2>their Bluetooth, they're connected to a cell phone, blasphemous. And

665
00:34:04.519 --> 00:34:06.359
<v Speaker 2>they do go on to say that in the Amish

666
00:34:06.359 --> 00:34:10.440
<v Speaker 2>community they do allow exceptions for some like medical devices

667
00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:13.320
<v Speaker 2>and stuff like that, as long as they're not connected

668
00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:17.039
<v Speaker 2>via Bluetooth or via like a cell phone or Internet

669
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:20.199
<v Speaker 2>or whatever. And so James's like, you can't have these,

670
00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:23.360
<v Speaker 2>but I'll find you some alternative hearing aids somewhere, like

671
00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:27.280
<v Speaker 2>in the dumpster or something. And then we get to

672
00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:32.519
<v Speaker 2>Esmerelda's suitcase, which is completely chock full of various skincare

673
00:34:32.599 --> 00:34:38.199
<v Speaker 2>products and hair products and makeup and her nails and

674
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:41.519
<v Speaker 2>fake lashes, and James is like, all this is going

675
00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:45.000
<v Speaker 2>in the trash and Esmerelda is like, no, I need

676
00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:47.559
<v Speaker 2>it though, and then she starts throwing a fit.

677
00:34:48.360 --> 00:34:51.840
<v Speaker 1>Yes, they have to actually call Alan over from the

678
00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:55.280
<v Speaker 1>other house to come over and mediate lay down the lot.

679
00:34:56.079 --> 00:34:58.920
<v Speaker 1>He says something like, how dare you come into our

680
00:34:59.000 --> 00:35:02.800
<v Speaker 1>community and to conform to your way of life. That's

681
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:05.840
<v Speaker 1>not how this works. And they tell her straight out

682
00:35:05.920 --> 00:35:09.280
<v Speaker 1>like we do not allow make up nails. How are

683
00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:10.480
<v Speaker 1>you gonna milk them cows?

684
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:11.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

685
00:35:11.400 --> 00:35:13.800
<v Speaker 1>And she's like, well, I guess they'm not milking cow pen.

686
00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:17.920
<v Speaker 1>We don't allow for these lashes. And she's like well yeah,

687
00:35:17.960 --> 00:35:20.840
<v Speaker 1>but like you've taken absolutely everything from me, so I'm

688
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:22.559
<v Speaker 1>just not going to let you take these things.

689
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:23.800
<v Speaker 2>This is so stupid.

690
00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:28.320
<v Speaker 1>And they're like, okay, Bed, how about you just get

691
00:35:28.360 --> 00:35:31.079
<v Speaker 1>on out. You'll leave tonight then, right, And then as

692
00:35:31.119 --> 00:35:33.639
<v Speaker 1>morel does working out the numbers in her head, she's like,

693
00:35:33.719 --> 00:35:37.239
<v Speaker 1>but what about my Instagram? What about my follower? You

694
00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:39.559
<v Speaker 1>need to at least be here for a few days.

695
00:35:40.119 --> 00:35:42.320
<v Speaker 1>So they leave us on a cliffhanger. Yeah, and it

696
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:45.159
<v Speaker 1>makes it look like as Marelda's gonna have to leave,

697
00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:47.239
<v Speaker 1>But then we see the preview for the season and

698
00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:49.880
<v Speaker 1>she's still there because God forbid, as a clout goblin,

699
00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:51.840
<v Speaker 1>she'd actually go home and stand on business.

700
00:35:51.920 --> 00:35:55.159
<v Speaker 2>Dante's down, of course, so I guess she does give

701
00:35:55.239 --> 00:35:57.760
<v Speaker 2>up all of her other worldly stuff. So in the

702
00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:01.519
<v Speaker 2>preview for the season, we have the Amish people teaching

703
00:36:01.639 --> 00:36:04.039
<v Speaker 2>Judah how to use a saw, and then he like

704
00:36:04.159 --> 00:36:06.320
<v Speaker 2>runs out of the pickbarn or something because he just

705
00:36:06.360 --> 00:36:09.280
<v Speaker 2>can't take it. It's to ghetto for him. Then we

706
00:36:09.400 --> 00:36:13.599
<v Speaker 2>have a budding romance or something between Matt and Kendra,

707
00:36:13.719 --> 00:36:15.840
<v Speaker 2>which I'm just like, ew, Like, we don't need that.

708
00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:18.559
<v Speaker 2>I would rather see people cry about not having their

709
00:36:18.559 --> 00:36:21.639
<v Speaker 2>fake lashes, but that's just me. Then we have Billy

710
00:36:21.760 --> 00:36:23.440
<v Speaker 2>Joe who's meeting.

711
00:36:23.119 --> 00:36:27.119
<v Speaker 1>With oh my god man almost like simple Jack from

712
00:36:27.159 --> 00:36:30.880
<v Speaker 1>Tropic Thunder with the hair with the hair, and he

713
00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:31.719
<v Speaker 1>proceeds to tell.

714
00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:33.639
<v Speaker 2>Her that he's actually got his nipples peers and he

715
00:36:33.719 --> 00:36:36.519
<v Speaker 2>has her feel them, which I'm just like, Okay, maybe

716
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:38.960
<v Speaker 2>there's a romance between Billy Joe and an Amish guy.

717
00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:42.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Then we have Esmerlda saying that she's

718
00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:46.599
<v Speaker 2>struggling because there's so much judgment. Yeah, there's so much judgment.

719
00:36:46.679 --> 00:36:49.800
<v Speaker 1>Christian religion they judge people, bitch.

720
00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:53.239
<v Speaker 2>And this fundamentalist religious community that shuns people. There's so

721
00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:57.280
<v Speaker 2>much judgment. Then we have Judah who's saying he's keeping secrets,

722
00:36:57.320 --> 00:36:58.840
<v Speaker 2>and my question.

723
00:36:58.639 --> 00:37:03.480
<v Speaker 1>Is secrets it's always a gay conspiracy with you Beatrice.

724
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:07.679
<v Speaker 2>With those studded high top boots. I don't know. Then

725
00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:10.119
<v Speaker 2>we have nat who's getting chased.

726
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:14.280
<v Speaker 1>Off the farm by Chase with an axe, Like, what's

727
00:37:14.280 --> 00:37:17.320
<v Speaker 1>going on? What is happening? That seems kind of violent

728
00:37:17.360 --> 00:37:18.280
<v Speaker 1>for Christian people?

729
00:37:19.199 --> 00:37:21.800
<v Speaker 2>And it seems like all of these contestants make it

730
00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:23.760
<v Speaker 2>to the day of reckoning it kind of does. It

731
00:37:23.800 --> 00:37:26.679
<v Speaker 2>seems like it. So I guess there's no like elimination

732
00:37:27.079 --> 00:37:28.400
<v Speaker 2>rounds or anything like that.

733
00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:31.199
<v Speaker 1>I was like voting him off the community.

734
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:33.199
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was kind of hoping like Bishop Burdon would

735
00:37:33.199 --> 00:37:36.079
<v Speaker 2>come like every week and be like, you know what, Kendrew,

736
00:37:36.119 --> 00:37:37.559
<v Speaker 2>You're still a hoe.

737
00:37:37.719 --> 00:37:43.639
<v Speaker 1>But get to the top of the cliff. Yeah. So

738
00:37:43.800 --> 00:37:48.480
<v Speaker 1>I am intrigued, but as well, I mean, clearly there

739
00:37:48.599 --> 00:37:52.719
<v Speaker 1>is some production tomfoolery. There would have to be in

740
00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:55.480
<v Speaker 1>order to have cameras in an Amish community, et cetera.

741
00:37:55.920 --> 00:37:58.599
<v Speaker 1>You have a lot of people from Lancaster on that

742
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:02.079
<v Speaker 1>breaking Amish sub read it saying this is fakery and fraudery,

743
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:05.119
<v Speaker 1>but I don't care. Listen. In a world is dark

744
00:38:05.159 --> 00:38:07.119
<v Speaker 1>and dystopian, it's the one we are.

745
00:38:06.960 --> 00:38:08.559
<v Speaker 2>Currently living in. Yeah.

746
00:38:08.679 --> 00:38:11.920
<v Speaker 1>I look forward to laughter, I look forward to spectacles,

747
00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:13.199
<v Speaker 1>and I look for to entertainment.

748
00:38:13.599 --> 00:38:16.559
<v Speaker 2>And honestly, from the bottom of the barrel, they picked

749
00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:20.400
<v Speaker 2>some pretty good crazy clouk goblins. Yeah, I'm into it.

750
00:38:20.920 --> 00:38:23.679
<v Speaker 1>I am as well. And again I say, these people

751
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:27.079
<v Speaker 1>are untrained in the art of camera for sure. They've

752
00:38:27.119 --> 00:38:29.119
<v Speaker 1>never been on a show. They're not gonna know how

753
00:38:29.159 --> 00:38:30.880
<v Speaker 1>to act. They think they know how to act because

754
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:32.719
<v Speaker 1>they've watched all the shows with the rest of us,

755
00:38:32.719 --> 00:38:34.840
<v Speaker 1>but you don't know till you're in it. They're gonna

756
00:38:34.840 --> 00:38:38.880
<v Speaker 1>make mistakes, They're gonna be awful people. I hope there's

757
00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:43.559
<v Speaker 1>gonna be drama, and I just my expectations are really high.

758
00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:44.119
<v Speaker 2>Me too.

759
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:46.880
<v Speaker 1>But they were really high for poly Family too, right,

760
00:38:46.960 --> 00:38:49.719
<v Speaker 1>and that was a train wreck. Yeah, So we'll see

761
00:38:49.719 --> 00:38:50.159
<v Speaker 1>how it goes.

762
00:38:50.239 --> 00:38:51.280
<v Speaker 2>We will see how it goes.

763
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:52.400
<v Speaker 1>I enjoyed myself.

764
00:38:52.519 --> 00:38:55.800
<v Speaker 2>Worst case scenario there's always one thousand pounds sisters. Oh yeah,

765
00:38:55.800 --> 00:38:57.920
<v Speaker 2>that just came out. And also there's a new season

766
00:38:58.159 --> 00:38:59.960
<v Speaker 2>season of Unexpected.

767
00:39:00.119 --> 00:39:03.559
<v Speaker 1>Heard about that? And isn't the boy who impregnated a girl?

768
00:39:03.599 --> 00:39:06.320
<v Speaker 1>Isn't he like thirteen? Wasn't he like twelve?

769
00:39:06.480 --> 00:39:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

770
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:08.639
<v Speaker 1>When he knocked up a fourteen year?

771
00:39:08.840 --> 00:39:10.760
<v Speaker 2>Are we really doing this? Sale? Thank?

772
00:39:11.159 --> 00:39:13.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Should we really watch that? May? The answers? Yes?

773
00:39:14.519 --> 00:39:19.239
<v Speaker 1>The answer maybe? I don't want to though anyway, So

774
00:39:19.320 --> 00:39:21.880
<v Speaker 1>this was fun? Did you guys watch? Drop into the

775
00:39:21.960 --> 00:39:24.760
<v Speaker 1>comments or write to Beatrice on the Instagram and let

776
00:39:24.840 --> 00:39:26.440
<v Speaker 1>us know if you watched and what you thought of it?

777
00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:26.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

778
00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:29.480
<v Speaker 1>Do you think it's fake? Do you think it's fun?

779
00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:30.519
<v Speaker 1>We want to know.

780
00:39:30.760 --> 00:39:31.480
<v Speaker 2>We do want to know.

781
00:39:31.639 --> 00:39:33.599
<v Speaker 1>Now, is there anything else that we should say to

782
00:39:33.639 --> 00:39:37.480
<v Speaker 1>these beautiful raccoons before we get a bond at a here? Bitches?

783
00:39:37.840 --> 00:39:40.519
<v Speaker 2>Well, if you love our podcast, please go to your

784
00:39:40.519 --> 00:39:44.159
<v Speaker 2>favorite podcast platform and leave us a glowing five star review.

785
00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:46.559
<v Speaker 2>Really help us grow the pod so more people can

786
00:39:46.639 --> 00:39:48.760
<v Speaker 2>join us on the dumpster and we would really appreciate it,

787
00:39:48.800 --> 00:39:49.440
<v Speaker 2>so thank you.

788
00:39:49.960 --> 00:39:52.920
<v Speaker 1>We will be back next week to continue our conversation

789
00:39:53.199 --> 00:39:57.199
<v Speaker 1>about sister wives and suddenly Amish and until then please

790
00:39:57.239 --> 00:39:59.559
<v Speaker 1>do not forget, and we have nothing but love for

791
00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:01.519
<v Speaker 1>you and peace.

792
00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:03.280
<v Speaker 2>A mighty

793
00:40:10.039 --> 00:40:10.079
<v Speaker 1>H