Speaker 1: Hi everyone, Tony from Hack the Movies here, and today
we're talking about The Amazing Spider Man, which was actually
a Bland reboot. Today on Hack the Movies, Hello Gil,
Hello Tony. We're back talking about Marvel again.
Speaker 2: I know you owe, as always you save the best
movies for me.
Speaker 1: Yep, definitely we're.
Speaker 2: Talking about Spider Man. Oh which one has got to
be a spider Man one and no Spider Man two. No,
not Spider Man three?
Speaker 1: No? Oh good, not the Tom Holly no, no, yep,
we're doing the Andrew Garfield ones. Now. When Noay Home
was coming out, I obviously went back into the original three.
But I just I did not have my channel would
have just been the Spider Man channel. I did not
have time to review the Andrew Garfield ones. I did, however,
to commentary tracks for them with movie Dumpster. So my
Patreon or movie Dumpster's patre we have full Amazing Spider
Man one and two commentary tracks. But I thought, since
Spider Man there's a new movie coming out and most
modern MCU things don't really do well here, I'm like,
you know what, this gives me an excuse to talk
about a different Spider Man thing. So let's go back
and talk about the amazing Spider Man revisionist history.
Speaker 2: Now since Andrew Garfield came back Home, now everyone's like
those movies were great.
Speaker 1: Third one. No, Look, Andrew Garfield is a good actor. Yes,
I think he was a good choice for Spider Man,
and he did a great job in No Way Home.
But if you go back and actually watch these pieces
of shit, they do not hold up. They didn't do
well back then and they do not hold up now.
Speaker 2: They did well for a movie, yes, but financially not
for a Spider Man movie. And even financially they were
heading in the wrong direction.
Speaker 1: Yes, And this was supposed to be the big reboot,
the big reset. They couldn't land on a Spider Man
for they gave him a release date the same range.
And he's like, I don't want to rush this again.
We kind of fumbled that last one. Well, rushing is
kind of our things. Yeah. So he's like, rushing is
kind of our time. You rush yourway to the door. Yeah.
So like, okay, we're just gonna do a hard reboot.
And at this point, like the MCU is starting. This
is the same summer as the Avengers, and of course
the Dark Knight Rises, Everyone's favorite, the greatest superhero film
ever made.
Speaker 2: They put him in front of you. They're like, Tony,
you can do Amazing Spider Man or Dark Knight Rises.
Speaker 1: It's up to you. And I went Tart Knight Rises
all the way. Yeah. Unfortunately I'm not in this movie,
so that really hurts it. When I was watching these
movies in the theater that summer, I'm like, I mean,
Avengers is okay, but I'm not in it. Amazing Spider Man.
It would have been better if I was in it.
Tark Knight Rises perfect. I'm like, there ain perfect.
Speaker 2: It's got that special special Tony.
Speaker 1: Had I been an Amazing Spider Man would have been
the best fighter, it.
Speaker 2: Would have earned that amazing title.
Speaker 1: Yes, so they decide they're gonna start over again. Uh,
but they're still gonna be self contained. Yeah, whereas they
saw all the other Marvel movies, we're doing pretty well
mixing with a universe. Uh. And even Universal, who owns
the solo film rights to Hulk, they like played ball
with Marvel. Apparently they're very difficult to work with, which
is why there there hasn't been a solo Hulk movie.
But they're fine, like work like letting them use the
character or something. Right.
Speaker 2: Well, we had the one solo Hulk movie right after
Iron Man. Yeah, but they haven't done another one since.
And that's what they always say is they had the
rights issue with Universals all.
Speaker 1: So like Hulk can be in other ones and it
can be the same Hulk like it all like this
seems like Universals like, yeah, we'll do it. But I
don't know why they've been dragging their feet on a
solo Hulk movie. I don't know why. But Marvel at
the same time is like, you know, just make them
a supporting character and everything. So yeah, Sony was like,
we're just gonna hard reset and we're gonna get We're
gonna make it fresh and new. So let's get Alan Sargeant,
who wrote the last three. Yeah, Alan Sergeant, Alvin Sergeant.
This is like the last thing he wrote. I think
he did uncredited rewrites on one. He worked on two,
and then he worked with Sam and Ivan Ramy on
Spider Man three, so they brought him back. But then
he also wrote with James Vanderbilt, who we have here.
We looked it up. I've reviewed a couple of his movies. Okay,
he wrote or co wrote Darkness Falls, a movie that
was completely rewritten and reshot like twice, the Rundown with
the rock that's a good one. That's a good one.
And he wrote some of the new screams. And he
actually produces a lot of stuff with radio silence, so
he's still going strong. So a mixed bag.
Speaker 2: And I guess between him and a guy who just
finished writing three of these and was kind of tired.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then between the two of them, this is
what they Well, they had a third guy, Steve Cloves,
writer of like most of the Harry Potter sequels and
Fantastic Beasts.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, awsome Yeah, another mixed it's kind of perfect record.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And they got a young fresh director, Mark Webb,
right off of Five Hundred Days of Summer, which I
remember thinking was, okay, yeah, are we allowed to like
that movie now? I don't know, wait what was it? Back?
Speaker 2: Wait are you saying that you think maybe now we're
not allowed to like it? Or back then we want?
Speaker 1: It feels like it's one of those things that'll be
frowned upon now because it's about just like a hipster
dude and Zoey Deschanel is in it. Yeah, dream Girl. Yeah.
I think there's some manic pixie dream Girls stuff. But
I mean, I don't care. I can like it, but
I feel like it's something the internet would complain about, because,
like I heard like girls bragging about that movie for
like two three years. Haven't heard anything since. So I
think they all like united hipsters whoever are left. I
don't know what they turned I don't know what hipster's
turned into. I guess they all decide it. Now we're
we're done talking about five hundred Days of Summer. But yeah,
Mark Webb went all in on Amazing Spider Man one
and two, and then he went right back to indie films. Yeah,
until recently he came back with snow White in the seven.
What a bizarre career.
Speaker 2: It's he starts out in indie films, Yeah, and then
the creaks open the front door. He's like, what's what's
going on out here? There's a couple of big blockbusters.
I'm gonna go back inside. Ten years later he's like, oh, yeah,
snow White Okay, and he's like, you know what, I'm
gonna go back, And just.
Speaker 1: To be clear, the Disney snow White not the uh
the Ben Shapiro snow White that actually never got made.
We're talking about the good one.
Speaker 2: Then fixed all the issues with the classics.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, we all agree if they mixed everything.
Speaker 2: Hopefully they can do that for five hundred days of
summer modern izees go back in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, movie does end with him being like I met
a new replacement girlfriend named Winter, and I'm like, ah, yeah,
I can see people being annoyed with that movie anyway.
Uh yeah, so this came out again. That was like
a loaded summer. People wanted to see the end of
the Dark Knight trilogy. They wanted to see the Avengers,
and then Sony's like and another Spider Man. We're like, okay,
I guess it's coming out between them. And I saw
this in theaters and at the time I thought it
was like whatever, like my initial like, I think me
and my friends we reviewed it that day. But even
in that original review, which I maybe can find was
probably lost forever. I think we kind of joked about
how it was just kind of like derivative of the
previous three, and then the more I thought about it,
I'm like, I don't think I liked that movie. And
then I watched it again, I'm like, this movie sucks,
and the Spider Man having Edward Cullen hair didn't help.
It didn't help. I remember when those pictures came out
and I went, oh, no, I know Twilight's popular, but
I think, did we learn nothing from Emo? Peter Parker,
let's not put a trendy hairstyle on. How did you
feel about this film? Pretty similarly?
Speaker 2: I mean, the first few Spider Man movies, the Sam
Raimi ones, like they left a huge impression on me.
I mean part of that was just the age I
was when I saw them. I was in middle school
at the time when the first one came out, and
this one, I think I barely remember the first time
I saw it, and I think it speaks to one
of the first words you said when you opened up
this review was bland. And that's what I have written here,
keyword bland. Yeah, And that's one of the worst things
the movie can do is just be boring. And I
think that there's competence on display in parts of this movie.
I actually think, Okay, he made five hundred Days of
Summer right before this, and I feel like if you
cut out all the superhero stuff, you'd have like a
halfway decent romantic drama. But that's not why people came
to this movie. And that's only a small portion of
the movie. But yeah, you watch it now and there's
just nothing here to keep your interest.
Speaker 1: The villain is so boring. Well, we learned right before this.
We watched some of the deleted scenes and like little
things that couldn't have fixed the movie but would have helped.
We're all cut.
Speaker 2: Out, yes, though I will say I'm already kind of
tired today, and one way to get jazzed up to
do a podcast, I wouldn't recommend watching forty five minutes
of scenes that were deemed unworthy.
Speaker 1: To be in an Already I was like getting sleepy.
I was like, what's happening now? Look last night. But
it didn't work out. But I thought it was important,
especially with the second movie, because these movies, Sony like
chopped them up basically, not so much this one. They
made this one even war bland actually, but there are
some weird moments in both these films. You're like, I
don't know what's happening right now, how do we get here?
And then you watch the deleted scene You're like, oh,
something really important was cut out.
Speaker 2: It's a mix of I don't know how we got here,
or like, wait a minute, what happened to that guy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what happened? There's a lot of what happened to
that guy? We spent a lot of time on that guy,
and now they're not in the movie anymore.
Speaker 2: And the one thing I'd say too, in terms of
being bland, it's especially bad when it follows three movies
directed by Sam Raimi. He has such a particular unmissible
directorial style, and then you go to this one. It
has really no style at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Again, it doesn't really have its own identity except
for it was the first one shot in three D.
I forgot to set up my three D camera, so
I didn't. You can't do the bit, sorry, I usually
do a bit where we do, like the thing in
three D.
Speaker 2: I just keeping I keep waiting for a spider Man
to swing in here.
Speaker 1: Oh no, he dies. Andrew Garfield died. I don't know
who they got pretending to be Andrew Garfield since then
AI probably, But Andrew Garfield died on this something you
could do a spell?
Speaker 2: Oh no, he got pulled into our universe right before
he died.
Speaker 1: I know because if you watch My Doctor straight shure,
if you better. Comber Batch also died again. I don't
know who's playing him in these new movies. It's not Yeah.
So they shot this on the Red epic. It was
like one of the first like big movies like shot
on the Red. It was really twenty ten was like
the start of that like big three D push and
I was already tired of three D by this point,
and then it just kept going for like another five
six years. So weird to me that.
Speaker 2: Three D is still around like every big movie that
comes out, it's like, we also have the three D option.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he stopped doing it for like every movie
because I think one of the agreements with like China,
we're only allowed to have certain movies get in there
every I don't know if this has changed, but we
can only have like the only except a certain amount
of American film, and they have to be like three D.
Speaker 2: They're just screwing around. Now what can we get away with?
Like I don't telling them. They say it's gotta be
in three D. Yeah, what else can we do?
Speaker 1: And that's why we got somebody like these big budget
like Robot movies, and like Star Wars was all in
three D and then like China didn't even watch Star Wars.
It's like, wow, great, thanks, thanks where we even played
at the budget for those. Yeah, so I think that
was like that was definitely the height of this because
what was it The next year is Ironman three had
the whole separate Chinese cut, So we're putting everything in
three D when it didn't need to be and he
can't even tell it's in I don't know if this
was it probably was shot in three D, but like
it doesn't feel three D except for some of the
swinging and I know, like three D movies got away
from the whole like pointing in the camera right, But
like some people used it, well, James Cameron obviously, for
like I don't even like Avatar, but like he did it.
He did it to make like the environments feel live.
Dread three D is like one of the best three
D things I've ever seen, But this one is just
you're watching in three D and you're like, why even
bother except for the swinging scenes kind of Yeah, yeah,
so that was dumb, but yeah, I guess I guess
we'll just get into this film Oh, the marketing. The
early marketing was all about secrets. He's gonna learn the
secret or his untold origin, the secret of his parents.
And I remember being like, who gives a shit?
Speaker 2: Not only who gives a crap, but who wants this?
Like the whole conceit is that normal kid from Queen's
gets powers. And like, anytime you take away a core
tenet of a character and an adaptation, like I won't
say automatically, that's bad. Of course there's a good version
of a movie where he's got some secret origin you
don't know about it. But anytime you take away something
that makes a character special, you're just putting more pressure
on yourself to figure out some other angle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they definitely don't. But it's like, if you're
gonna do that, do like the fake parents storyline from
the comics, where like Peter learned that his parents were
you know, secret agents or something, were shield agents maybe.
And I think I used to have Marvel. I still
have a Marvel Trading cards. I had the fake parents one, yeah,
where they look like two one thousand things. But I
think like the Jackal, like cloned. Of course the Jackal
did this. The Jackal cloned his parents to like fuck
with him or something and ended up not being as real.
Pay If you're doing something like that, then let's get
into his parents.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go on record and say that if this
movie introduced the Jackal made clones of his parents, they
would not have.
Speaker 1: Improved the movie.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what, it would have made it more interesting, though.
Speaker 1: It would have it would have been a reason to
even bother with his parents. You don't need it outside
his parents are dead. Who cares?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like it's like I need more trauma. It's
like my uncle, I could have saved him. He's like, yeah,
well your dad also, Yeah, and your mom. He's even
more trumpa.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what's so annoying. I'm like, we no one
cares about Peter Parker's parents unless you're going to do
that story, which I don't even think is a very
popular story that people liked. So it's a jackal cloning story.
You got to bring Ben Riley in there. It's a
whole fucking shot.
Speaker 2: I think it's one thing that this movie suffers from throughout,
and this is just one example, is we really don't
want to repeat anything from the previous three movies, but
then they do they do, but then there are these
things that stick out very awkwardly. Yeah, where like we'll
get to the example of we can't say with great
power comes great responsibility because everyone knows that from the
Sam Raimi movies, so let's kind of dance around it.
And so here that I think they felt pressure of,
like we've got to insert this weird parent storyline.
Speaker 1: We just need something different. Yeah, but I remember, like
Spider Man fit because people forget. I mean, we all
love Sam Raimi Spider Man's I do, but I remember
there were people who were critical of them because Peter
didn't have web shooters. He had organic web shooters, and
that was problem, and they were mad that they can
buying Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane into one character for
the first film, which I didn't care about. It became
a problem in the third film. We're like, oh wait,
now Gwent Stacy's here. Feels like a weird character to
throw in there. So they were happy, like, oh, he's
gonna have mechanical web shooters and they're doing Gwen Stacy
before Mary Jane. This is gonna be perfect, and like
that that's all you needed for a good Spider Man movie.
This sucks, but yeah, let's let's get into this film.
Swing into it. Swing into it. So it opens up. Uh,
we get the Spider Man logo and what do you
know it webs come out and then fly it towards
the screen. That's like the only like three D ship
that they do. The original credits for the first film
will look better in three D than this. We can
see young Peter playing hide and seek with his dad, Yes,
who takes hide and Seek very seriously. He sets up
like his shoes and like a broom with a hat
on it. What the fuck? Just like, that's a very
complicated game hide and seek.
Speaker 2: Your dad overthought this, but especially the second movie sets
up that at this point, I think he's already begun
his process escaping Oscorp.
Speaker 1: It's I guess he's like, Okay, I need to keep
Peter busy. You know what.
Speaker 2: He's a little dull side broom in a couple of shoes.
I'm like, Dad, why are you being so quiet? He'll
talk to that broom for the next couple of hours. So, yeah,
Peter's looking for his dad. His dad's office is trashed, yes,
que the James Horner score.
Speaker 1: I forgot to mention late James Horner did music for this,
and I was expecting it to be better and it
just wasn't. That's good. I don't want to speak ill
of the dead. James Horner did a lot of great music.
Speaker 2: If anything, you're complimenting him, like he knew not to
waste his energy.
Speaker 1: Yes, uh so, yeah, his dad's like, oh crap, ah
my secret files. And he pulls out like a cabinet
that had a secret fake thing that he hit other
files underneath. So he's like, okay, we gotta go. So
he grabs Peter's mom and they drop him off at
Ben and May's house. Ben is h Martin Sheen. Yes, yes,
you know, he wanted to redeem himself in a comic
book movie after Spawn, and he was just like, I
just really gonna make up for Spawn, I think. And
we got Sally Field, who thinks pires Brosidan's funnier than
Robin Williams. We all learned that recently. Yeah. Yeah, so
they're Ben and May, and I think she said that
she only really like did these movies as like a
favor to like a producer friend of hers or something
that makes sense to me. Because she's like since been
like how they sucked? Yeah, which is kind of dumb
that they wanted to do a Mary aunt May spinoff?
What the fuck was that? I loved?
Speaker 2: I remember that crazy time where Sony kept trying to
figure out how do we build a cinematic universe around
Spider Man and they kept coming up with the dumbest ideas.
It was so fun to keep up with it all though,
Like I was so looking forward to all these spinoffs
Venom More Beasts, not because I wanted to see the movies,
but almost just as like a bystander to see just
how badly are they going to screw all this up?
Speaker 1: And if you want to know how badly, go back
and watch by what is the worst Sony Spider Man
spin off episode? We did? All of that? That was
the year I reviewed Madam web twice and did a
commentary track for it.
Speaker 2: I love how they kept double doubling and tripling down, like, okay,
we the people who wrote More Beasts.
Speaker 1: The movie flopped.
Speaker 2: It sucked crazy idea higher again with the worst side
Madam Webb.
Speaker 1: Say he drops him off at Beneme's uh, and then
we cut to the future. Uh. Peter's being bullied by
Flash Flash Thompson the high school meathead jock at their
science high school.
Speaker 2: Well correction, though Peter's not being bullied by him. Some
other kid is being bullied and Peter steps in.
Speaker 1: Well that that's in a little bit first, like Flash
has given him shit. He's not like full on bullying Peter.
But yeah, they go to they change Midtown High to
like a science high school, like it's a tech school
or something, and like, I didn't go to tech school.
I don't know. I assume they have sports or something.
But it's just it's just weird that this like meathead
guy is like, are you got a school for nerds?
Such a it didn't work. I like what they did
with the new Flash Thopson. He's still a bully, but
he's like a modern bully, not like the meathead believe.
Speaker 2: In this movie kind of gives up on Flash being
a bully.
Speaker 1: Like real early on. Yeah, but yeah. Then he talks
to a lady and she's like, hey, I notice you
take pictures. You take pictures of my boyfriend's.
Speaker 2: Car, which reminded me of that sketch where the guy
keeps trying to help her.
Speaker 1: Oh was a Matt Berry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that
drinks for my boyfriend fuck off, which, by the way,
that wasn't a year or two ago. That was happening
to me a lot, and I was like talking to
Crystal about it, and I sent her a compilation of
like this is how I feel, and it was just
all those skin Because I was talking to like some
girl I think she knew for like two weeks. The
girl casually dropped like, yeah, then me and my boyfriend,
I went, why have you been talking to me for
two weeks? What is this? What the fuck? So yeah,
she's like, take a picture of my boyfriend's car. He's
a little let down, but he's super into Gwen Stacy Yes,
who is played by Emma Stone, the girl from the
canceled Nathan Fillion series Drive. That's where we all know
her from, so I think, actually, hold on, hold on
one second, Spider Man connection, hold on, Yes, Drive, a
movie show that she started with Dylan Baker, the guy
who was supposed to be the lizard in the Sam
Raymie movie Wow Multiverse, Oh the same Ray Movies kind
of messed that up because he was like, I'm a chemist,
not a biologist. It's like well, how's he gonna do
lizard shit at some point? But anyway, yeah, so, uh
Emmistone obviously from super Bad. That was probably the big one,
an easy a a movie I never saw but people
kept saying was great, and I remember it was solid.
It was one of those like I'll get to it.
Never got to it. Uh yeah. She was the hot
thing at the time and he really likes her, and
so did the real life Andrew Garfield because they dated
for years.
Speaker 2: Do I do I sense a tinge of jealousy?
Speaker 1: Not in this movie. No, no, no, no, no, no no,
it's annoyance, but that will come in the second movie.
It's the second movie where I sat there going, I
get it. You're fucking like, can we can we filmed
around this? I feel like you just let a camera roll?
What is this?
Speaker 2: He's just bringing some of his bitterness into this. He
was going on all at the time.
Speaker 1: When I saw it, I was like, oh my god,
I get it. Can we smooth to the next scene? Fine?
In this movie because of this movie, they're still acting,
so they're being characters, whereas the next movie they forgot
that they were playing Peter and Gwen two people in love. Yeah, congratulations.
By the way, the same weekend, Kill and Casey separately
both kind of gage the same weekend.
Speaker 2: I thought that I think I did it first, though
by like a couple hours. Yeah, I think she stole
my idea.
Speaker 1: Well, I think we joked the picture of yours, like
I think you see Casey down on the street, but
the year is where Flash is bullying the kid. And
then we learned that Flash's real name is Eugene. Yes,
put him down, Eugene.
Speaker 2: I wish my bullies bullied me this way. It was
like eat it, and I'm like, I love eating.
Speaker 1: This is great, but this is Andrew Garfield's like, okay
here as pre Spider Man, Peter Parker, He's fine. Why
did people like him so much in this? Does he
work for you? Like?
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like people are pretty split, or at
least I remember a pretty a lot of people were
against it because I thought he was too cool, like stateboarding,
And I do think there's an element of he's more
confident than you expect from Peter Parker, the fact that
he's he's supposed to be the one getting bullied, not
the one standing up for the other nerds getting bullied.
Because it does create a little bit less contrast between meek,
downtrodden Peter to post spider Bite. There's a it's kind
of a fantasy fulfillment. Like when you watch the Toby
maguire version, You're like, I want to be Spider Man.
He wakes up the next day, He's got like a
six pack, he doesn't need his glasses anymore. When I
watched this movie, I'm like, I did not want to
be Spider Man.
Speaker 1: It looks miserable, seems like it'd be a bad time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think he's I think he's fine.
But you do again if you just list out the
things that make Spider Man special, that you take away
sort of like, the better his life is pre spider Bite,
the less you feel that element, yeah transforms. And so
here you've got him standing up against Flash. You've already
got him flirting with Gwen Stacy. I'm like, you can
already pick up girls.
Speaker 1: Yeah, spider Bite. He doesn't have to be like a
super mega nerd like I know, like some people think,
but if you actually read some of the comics, he's
not like that bad. He's not like that dweebee. No.
Speaker 2: It also it always depends on which iteration you're reading.
I mean, you go back to the first couple of
issues of Spider Man, he's pretty dewee bye and it's
like I literally have no friends and everybody's making fun
of him. But there's different versions, but there is sort
of for all these characters. It's kind of like a
general mythos of like what has become the public's understanding
of the character. Yeah, and this definitely deviates from that
a little. Again, not inherently a bad thing, but you're
taking away some of what makes him special.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he gets his camera busted, and he loves photography.
Speaker 2: Sometimes easy to forget until the camera pops up here
and there. I think that is another element where it's
like he was a photographer and its Tobe Maguire version. Yeah,
so we can't draw too much attention to that here.
Speaker 1: Well, they have to set up that he Yeah, that's
weird because then they don't do the daily bugle really. No.
Speaker 2: He gets a few emails from Jonah in the second movie, Yeah.
Speaker 1: And that's it. Yeah, it's weird how they didn't want like, well,
you kind of have to do certain things that are
Spider Man. You don't have to do the Origin again.
That's the thing.
Speaker 2: If you ask anybody in the audience like a poll,
like do you need an hour on Peter Parker's origins?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Do you mind if we put the camera in there?
The camera's fine, yeah, yeah, I don't need an hour
of the Origin.
Speaker 1: But the Daily Bugle, I'm like, yeah, sure, yeah, nobody
has a problem with that. Yeah, So the camera's budzet.
It gives him a reason to talk to gwinn uh,
and he's definitely into her. And then he goes home
and the basement's flooding and Uncle Ben's like, you gotta
help me in the basement. It's flooding, and I don't know,
some tech talk about whatever, probably, And this is where
he finds the briefcase from his dad. Yes, Ben just
forgot was down there, I guess, uh, And he like
goes through it and he sees a paper clipping of
Kurt Connors played by what's his name.
Speaker 2: Ree eons sure, And if we find out it's pronounced
differently later, you can dub it over.
Speaker 1: It could be in your voice. He's one of the
bag He was one of the evil brothers from Little
Nikki and he is fantastic in House of the Dragon. Yes,
and he was in Hannibal Rising. Oh wow. It was
like one of the first like big, like bad guy
move obviously besides the little Nicky which we all know
in love. I thought he was pretty good in that.
And then he came back to Spider Man in Venom three,
but not as Kurt, not as an ultimate universe Kirk Connors,
as some alien seeking hippie guy.
Speaker 2: I'm sure if you asked him, like, you know, how
does this connect to Amazing Spider Man, he'd be like,
what's amazing Spider Man?
Speaker 1: I think that also annoyed me that this was a reboot,
because I'm like, well, it feels like the movie we're
gonna do Lizard at some point. Now. It's annoying that
so you're finally getting the Lizard, but not the one
that you were waiting for for three movies. This is
a different Lizard.
Speaker 2: I feel like if they did this today, they would
have just brought Dylan Baker back. Yeah, and in the
same way they brought Ja Jon and jameson the same
actor his name j Yeah, the way they brought him
back for Far From Home and No Way Home.
Speaker 1: But they just brought this lizard back for no way. Yeah,
but Peter does some research and Ben tries to talk
to him about his dad. Apparently they haven't really mentioned
his father a lot since they just well died. We
see on like a thing that they died.
Speaker 2: But I feel like the movie kind of like this
movie communicates a lot through like little snippets where we
have to pause to see it. Say, Peter's doing research
and it's like Richard and May Parker are dead and
playing Mary Parker, Mary Parker plane crash.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the weird thing because the rest of it
is they I don't think they ever say that they're dead.
I think it's just implied that they're gone or missing.
Do they ever outright say that they're dead.
Speaker 2: I'd have to go back and check again.
Speaker 1: I don't remember. Yeah, And that's weird that no one
ever mentions a plane crash. You're right, it's just the
newspaper thing.
Speaker 2: It's like it's the same thing with like later when
you get into the Lizard's master plan of like I'm
gonna make everybody lizards. Yeah, earlier in the movie you
see little snippets of articles where it's like doctor Kirk
Connor's we can reach equality by making everybody powerful and strong.
That is his villain motivation, which is like, when I
think of inequality, I'm not usually like, well, the rich
people they can all bench more than you have lizard's strength,
then we'd all be equal if I could bench as
much as Elon musk.
Speaker 1: Because yeah, because lizards get along so well with each other,
they don't eat each other or anything. He's definitely wrong
about one thing about lizards, and they can't wait to
talk about that. But anyway, so he's basically like, Okay,
that guy is Kirk Connor's. Your dad worked for him,
but we haven't seen him since your dad left, right,
died in a plane crash. So Peters was like, all right,
I better go talk to him. So he sees reports
about the crash, sees that he works at Ozcorp. So
we're setting up Ozcorp. But they're obviously not doing Norman
Osborne in this one.
Speaker 2: Wait, this is another one where they they're shying away
from Norman Osborne. They'll mention him.
Speaker 1: You see a silhouette.
Speaker 2: Yeah, those little elements I feel like become kind of distracted. Yeah,
because then it's like as an audience member, You're like, wait,
who's playing Norman Osborne.
Speaker 1: He's a big character.
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess that's like a little sequel to set
out there, because if this were just a normal movie
and Norman Osborne it's such an important figure, they wouldn't
be shying away from him, like there'd be no reason to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm thinking it's kind of like the Ultimate
Spider line where I think, like some of the bad
guys came from Oscorp. Like I think Doc in the
Ultimate Spider Man Comics, at least Volume one that I
read years ago, like Doctor Ocfus is using the arms
because he works.
Speaker 2: At the even the symbio was created by him, like
Eddie Brock Senior, and uh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think they're doing that where like Oz,
it's a problem in the second movie where literally it's
a bad GUYE factory. Yeah, and I think I never
like continued it. I wasn't joying it. But the My
Adventures with Superman cartoon, I think they had that problem,
like all the classic villains were all coming from the
government agency Cadmus, and they all had similar armor, and
I'm like, well that's kind of leame. But I like
everything else in the show.
Speaker 2: But that in a way though, it kind of makes
the world make more sense because it's always like as
soon as the hero shows up, now all of a sudden,
we start getting super villains in the world. But if
the hero's origins are tied to this like evil corporation,
that's also making the villains. That timing kind of makes
more sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just it's just then only that they're literally
all coming out of the same building. It's like a
guy factory, the bad guy factory. Let's just pump them out.
That was a big criticism of these at the time.
They're like, oh, they're all just gonna come out of Osgorne. Cool.
Like I think even too, they had like a symbia
or something in there, and it's like even they couldn't
even come from space anyway. So yeah, he uh, he
goes to Oscorp. And then he steals an internship from
a brave Latino man which was a bean, which I
was bean. But then you see this poor man going like,
please let me in. Peters is covering it off. I'm like,
that was kind of mean. That's a scene that would
not happen today.
Speaker 2: It's also funny because the movie is shot in a
pretty I think Mark Webb that's his name, right, Yeah,
he's shooting it in a pretty grounded way, and then
there's just He's like, like that is such a throwaway
like joke that just doesn't fit the tone of this
movie where it's like pretty serious, and then obviously when
you get to the villain it becomes super over the top.
Speaker 1: Of the ridiculous. But also this is look, I like Ironman,
I don't mind holograms, but these movies went so in
on holograms. Like for some reason, it didn't bother me
in like the Marvel stuff, but like these they're just
everywhere holograms. Ever, Jurassic World did it. Fucking Prometheus had
holograms and I'm like, oh god, what the fucking hologram displays.
I don't know why it bothered me so much at
the time. Maybe I finally got used to it. Yeah,
but they definitely were overdoing it at some point, right.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Yeah, it's the same with like we went
through a hologram phase, we're going through a nanotech phase.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean there's always been the original Star
Wars has holograms, not like Anti holograms, just like there
were too many movies at once that all had the
same kind of holograms, and I'm like, all right enough.
Speaker 2: And especially when it's like Spider Man is meant to
basically be our world. Yeah, and it's like, so it's
it's our world, but in reality where what if holograms
existed everywhere?
Speaker 1: So yeah, Spider Man's racist anyway, what a coincidence? Quinn
Stacey works there at Osborne for doctor Connors. I can't
believe it. And Connor's just talk about how he wants
to splice reptile DNA with humans to help heal, and
he mentions that his arm is broken, or like is
broken not broken missing, and look, I felt a little
ripped off Gil. Luckily this comics from the sixties. But
my senior thesis film Getting on the Slide, which came
out that same year, opens up with the main character's
older brother getting his arm cut off, and he's very
upset because he was supposed to be a sculptor one day,
and most of his character is him being sad that
his arm got cut off. And then I watched this
movie and I'm like, I just made the same movie
minus the lizard part.
Speaker 2: So it was like all of his sculptures would just
have one side down on the other side, It's like
he can make a he's cursed to only make half sculptures.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty much. We show him trying to make it.
He just can't get it.
Speaker 2: I think if you complain about all this stuff long enough,
one day, you'll get your accolades.
Speaker 1: All these movies. It was funny at the time watching
this theater, I'm like, I literally made a movie about
a guy who's really sad about his arm being cut off.
We never learned how doctor Connor has lost his arm.
I don't think it was racing his Razor scooter against
a Dodge Challenger, much like my film.
Speaker 2: And I think one problem with os Corp. Okay, going
back to the Holograms, they have all this great technology
they'd been studying the spiders. Later, when Peter Parker makes
the web, he's actually stealing oscorp technology the bio cable. Yeah,
they have such great technology. It really stretches believability that
they haven't been able to reverse engineer Peter's dad's Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, yeah, he just buys his web from Odscorp and
no one ever puts together, like, who's that web Betos? Well, yeah,
there's I know that.
Speaker 2: That was one of the big complaints about both these
movies is how he's not very careful with his secret identity. Yeah,
and like, I think every superhero movie with a secret
identity requires you to squint a little bit to make
it work, but you don't want to draw so much
attention to it where the audience is like, there's no
way people wouldn't piece this together.
Speaker 1: By the way, I had another moment where I it
justifies the whole wide no one recognizes Superman and Clark Kent.
You don't need hypno glass of the streams gun. I
reviewed Dragonheart recently, right, that had uh, what's her face?
Dynamier in it from the Sault movies and everything the
Redhead right, and then I did Piranha three. Didn't even
realize she was in it because she wore a cowboy hat.
I literally review those movies like a few weeks apart,
and in editing I'm like, wait, Dina Meyers and this,
I'm like where And I'm like, oh, she wore a
cowboy hat and I thought it was a completely different woman.
I'm like the Superman glasses thing it would work on me.
I'd be like, that's a completely different bons tested. When
we do Amazing Spider Man too, I'll put a cowboy
hat on. I'll be like, who the hell is this guy?
It was cracking me up and editing. I'm like, wait,
I talked about that actress a lot, and where is she? Like, Oh,
she had at a hat on? Fooled me. Gwen questions
why Peter's there because he's like, you're not supposed to
be here, mister Couivero or whatever the hell his name
was that he stole, and then Peter bumps into a
character called regeet Ratha played by the I forgot to
write his name down if fron Con I think his
name was, or something from Life of Pie, Jurassic World,
some dog millionaire, really great actor who's no longer with us,
But I remember at the time people thought he was
gonna be Proto Goblin. And I know you, Gil, you
were like, Protogoblin's my favorite. I only own Spider Man
comics with Proto Goblin. You had a whole Proto.
Speaker 2: Goblin his birthday park, ranting and raving about it all morning.
Speaker 1: And when you found out they hired anindy guy. You're like,
not my proto Goblet. You were you were picketing, And
then it turns out he wasn't that. I didn't know
there was a proto Goblin. I remember at the time
you were like, yeah, I guys gonna be Protogoblin, And
I went, there's a proto who's a proto Goblet? Now
I feel like that's a record And it's like the
first one they test the serum on. They're gonna have Peter.
Speaker 2: His parents are clones from The Jackal, Who's gonna be
a proto Goblin.
Speaker 1: But it turns out he's just some guy. He's evil
business man. I'm wondering if this is a Fantastic four
twenty fifteen thing where Tim Blake Nelson was clearly supposed
to be Mullman at one point and then they went, no,
he's not Mullman because we're gonna blow his head up,
make him someone else. Uh So, yeah, he bumps into Peter,
and Peter sees that he has a logo from his
dad's files. Yeah the Doubles zero. Yes. So he's like,
I gotta follow this guy, and he follows him to
a spider lab and then for some reason, Peter walks
into the spider lab where the spiders aren't behind glass
or anything. I don't know about you kill, but I
wouldn't walk into like experimental lab area where the spiders
are just out and about without any protective outfits, would you? No?
Probably not.
Speaker 2: And there are there's a lot in this movie where
it's like why today, Like how has this never happened before?
Like going back to the beginning, Like okay, Gwen notices
Peter because he stands up to Flash. Why was today,
of all days.
Speaker 1: The first time?
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm gonna be confident today today I'm standing
up to him, or like I'm so curious about my parents,
But never once have I dug through the basement's like
look through their things, like I've dug through my parents'
old things because I was curious what happened. I remember
we had an in television growing up. Here's where is
that thing?
Speaker 1: Let alone?
Speaker 2: Like the trauma of like I want to know who
my real parents are and now here it's like that
easy to walk in and get bit by a spider
and it's never happened to any like lab Tech walked in.
Speaker 1: Well, they probably all died and got covered up. We
learned in the next film that the Oscorp's really great
at covering up thing. Yes, but yeah, I just don't
know why his character would want to walk into that.
That's like the spider bite is supposed to be an accident,
right Like like in the original one, it goes through
the radiation, they don't even know it's there. In the
sam Raimi one, it broke out and Peter didn't know there.
Even like the Ultimate Comics, I think Oscorp makes the spider,
and that also brings out this is the secret origins.
Speaker 2: Nothing is a mistake, nothing is an accident anymore, which
makes it better.
Speaker 1: But even even like a fucking Spider Verse, the spider
comes and bites smile. It's weird that, like it's supposed
to be an accident, but it's less of an accident
when Peter's just like, I'm wearing no protective gear. These
are experimental spiders that might have something wrong with them,
just gonna walk in look around.
Speaker 2: I probably would have walked in there. Act in retrospect,
like that room looks so cool with all the blue
lights and everything.
Speaker 1: And as I see the spiders get occasionally I'll see
a spider down here. When it goes away, I'm like, well,
I'm done working for the day. I'm gonna go upstairs
and run the dehumidifier and hopefully it's gone tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Channel goes dark for a month. I saw a spider
down there.
Speaker 1: I can't catch them sometimes sometimes they move really quick.
Spider Man's quick. I don't know if you know that.
And he got it from real spiders. He walks there,
they fall over him, and I remember when they showed
this in the trailer. I'm like, wait, so you gonna
get bit by like a million spiders. Turns out that's
not the case, and the reason they're there is because
that's them making the webs. Excuse I guess later, I
don't know. See how they fall over, and then we
get he gets out of there. He doesn't realize that
there's one in the jacket. Kirk Connor's updates Ragiet on
the cure for Norman Osborne. So we now know that
Norman Osborne is dying and these spiders are important to
his cure, and Connor's just like, oh man, I'm trying
my best here. There's really not much I can do.
So that's just to establish like why the spiders even exist. Uh.
Gwen takes Peter's badge and tells him that get the
hell out of there, and he gets bit right then
and there. On the subway, a bunch of drunk guys
thinks it'll be funny to put a beer bottle on
Spider Man's head.
Speaker 2: The movies idea of what happens on the subway. Yeah,
weird things happen on the subway. Yeah, I know, usually
scarier than like someone balancing a beer bottle on your head.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get the Channel flagger. There was
like a really scary thing that happened last year, or
like in a.
Speaker 2: Joker where like a bunch of Wall Street bros. Or
I send in the clowns, and I'm like, of all
the crazy stuff that I've seen on the subway, someone
menacingly singing at me, that one hasn't happened.
Speaker 1: Yes, but I've had a white guy be really annoying
on the subway. But he was insanely homeless and kept
raising his fist to us. And something that's like a
real thing. I've never seen this where it's like I'm
gonna put my beer on that guy's head for no reason.
I'm just a weird guy. But this triggers his Spider
sense that only for this movie are like flashes of
things that make him freak out. It will never work
like this ever again. Does he even uses Spider sense
really at the end?
Speaker 2: I mean it's questionable, like anytime the movie goes into
slow motion, like, is that him using his Spider sense?
Speaker 1: I guess so, yeah, I guess so. Man, I'm just
thinking of that crazy guy who tried to punch.
Speaker 2: Me and my friend's and I see I've ripped open
some old traumas because it's like it's one of those
like the doors open and you can tell everyone's like,
please don't stand near us, please.
Speaker 1: Oh god, he's standing here.
Speaker 2: Hey Tony, I'm sorry I menaced you on the subway.
I just wanted a fist bump.
Speaker 1: We he was literally he just kept going fuck get
raised on his fist, and we're just like, man, what's
the next stuff.
Speaker 2: I had one that where somebody just kept miming a
shotgun blast at different people. He's like, I'm gonna get you,
I'm gonna get you, and I'm like, don't point that
thing at me.
Speaker 1: There's the there's the I love the Christian rappers. They're
pretty fun. Yeah, I have it. If my extra over
wasn't in it, I play the video right now, but I can't.
We're actually gonna be funny, like the guys who dance
on the subway. Spider Man can have fun with those guys.
He's like, they want to show you what's up. I
hate that one just because like when they're when they're
swinging around and their feet are like, yeah, that's the thing.
I actually don't mind when it happens, like that's actually
pretty cool. Then they get too close. You're like that, yeah, lay.
Speaker 2: Fire, I don't mind you doing this, But like I
didn't sign up to do. Like I know you're saying, like,
don't worry. I'm I'm experienced with this. I can't, but
do I have to take on the risk?
Speaker 1: He jumps up. He accidentally rips the girl's shirt off. Yes. Uh.
The guy's like, what are you doing? God, I'm so mad,
and it's like, well, you're the one putting beer bottles
on sleeping guy's head. You're also an asshole guy. And
he just like his first fight is him just accidentally
beating up a bunch of dudes. Yes, it's like, wow, heroic. Okay,
So he goes home and he catches a fly in
front of May, and he's looking bad. He's like looking
at there, not as bad as Toby are all pale
and die. But he grabs the thing and he eats
just like a bunch of frozen food. Yeah, even on
May's meat loaf. Yeah, nobody likes her meat loaf. And
that's just like I've been cooking meat over thirty years.
You never told me. And then I don't get why
there's a web in his neck?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was It was a gross and like weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he pulls a spider off his neck, but there's
like a strand of web into like this hole in
the back of his neck.
Speaker 1: That was weird. Yeah, and I guess the spider's dead.
That's one thing that first Sam Raymie Spider Man mother,
like where that spider go? Yeah it was alive? Yeah, true?
What happened to that?
Speaker 2: Maybe he went on and bit a certain Cindy Moon.
He can become silk later on.
Speaker 1: Right, I forgot about silk.
Speaker 2: The Ultimate Universe just gets stomped on, right, And this
did not do the gross Sam Raimi thing where you
see the little spider like legs sticking.
Speaker 1: Out of his hands. Yeah, and everything you just apply
that they're there. He destroys everything in his room. Uh,
and he freaks out every noise that he hears because
his senses are going nuts.
Speaker 2: My favorite part of that was probably when he's like typing, Yeah,
it's all nonsense and all the keys are stuck to
his fingers.
Speaker 1: But he decides he's got to like look into his
father's relationship with spiders, and the best way to do
that is to use bing. He was bing. Bing was
the thing at the time.
Speaker 2: If Sony had their own search engine, that's what they
would have.
Speaker 1: I think the next movie goes right to Google. They're like, yeah,
bing didn't work out. I still think it should have
did what movies did before that and make up search engines.
What's the one I always thought, Oh, Nightmare and Elm
Street the remake. I think it's called like blast Off
or rocket Flast. Yeah. He goes to Kirk Connor's house,
and you're right, yo, I'm glad that they did a
really good job at not repeating anything the previous movies did. Anyway,
someone knocks something down and Peter catches it and someone
goes good reflexes. That's an homage, I guess, but it's
like also not as impressive as the sam Raimie won.
Speaker 2: Well, the sam Raimi won recatches all the food and
Kate did you know?
Speaker 1: Yeah actually real, Yeah, I know. Connor's was excited about
the research they were doing, but his partner, Richard Parker,
took all the research and left and it set them behind.
He wasn't able to replicate any of the stuff, so
he felt betrayed by him. Peter shows him that he
figured out some equations or just got them from his dad,
and Connor's like, what, this is what I've been looking for.
Let's meet up an Oscorp. Come work for me right now.
Speaker 2: Though an astute redditor, I saw when Andrew Garfield writes
the dec rate algorithm for Kirk Connor's if you freeze
frame and then compare it to the formula in his
dad's notebook, they do differ slightly, so maybe he misremembered it.
He screwed it up, and that's why Kirk Connors becomes
a lizard.
Speaker 1: That's you know what. That probably would have been one
of the fifteen deleted scenes. It should have been.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know because I kind of dozed off watching it.
Speaker 1: Then I have it here. Peter does sports good. Yes,
I'm embarrassed too good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he jumps like thirty feet in the air,
and I feel like if I was in his school,
I would be like, he's Spider Man.
Speaker 1: What do you call it? Hannibal Burris? Uh? He was
a guest. You know, he's in the other Spider Man movies,
the newer ones. It's the gym teacher or whatever. Right, right,
he was on how did this get made? Back when
I used to listen to that show when it was good? Uh,
And he's like, yeah, I'm gonna be on a new
Spider Man movie. Like what are He's like, I'm one
of those guys that sees Peter Parker do something crazy
and I go whoa, And I somehow don't know he's
Spider Man, Like, how'd you do that? Peter? You're not
Spider Man? Say embarrass his flash, he breaks the backboard,
gets in trouble. Uncle Ben is like, hey, it's not
right to get even you gotta now that de let
it see with the lizard. Oh that makes so much
more sense now sorry. Uh. Yeah, He's just like I
know that guy did something bad to you, but you're
just supposed to take it and not do anything. I'm like,
what kind of hippie stuff is this? He's like, don't
look for revenge or whatever. It's like, okay, I get
what he's trying to say, but really this move this
is unrealistic because it's always like I'm teaching you a lesson,
but in real life it's just your parents being like,
I don't want to be called in here Stopp's He
didn't even he didn't even beat him up. Yeah, that
was the weird thing. He just did sports good in
front of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't you can do sports good, but not not spitefully.
Speaker 1: Don't show off how good you are. Fucking what you
call it. Ben Parker is probably one of the people
that was like they got a band celebrations during the NFL,
Like when they get to the when they make a touchdown,
no more touchdown celebrations in the audience. Yeah, like, oh
it's funny when they did. I don't even watch football,
but it's funny when they dance and she's you.
Speaker 2: Know, any other team, Yeah, great power. You know he
wouldn't say that. He'd be like with great power. You know,
you're really good at a lot of stuff, and you know,
one might say you have responsibility a lot of problems.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of problems with this uncle Ben. Uh.
But he tells him like, look, I had to switch shift,
so you have to pick ant may up tonight.
Speaker 2: Don't forget yeah, which which Toby maguire had this too,
where it was like, we're gonna paint a fenceless yeah,
and he did forget.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what an asshole. I know. He also wing Man's
for him. He's like, oh, Gwen, you're on his computer.
It's like, that's the worst way you could have phrased that. Uh.
And then Peter has a Kevin Bacon Footloose style montage
where he's in a warehouse testing out his abilities, and
I literally kept thinking of Footloots. Kevin Bacon gets angry
starts dancing. Of course, we all know, we all know Footloose. Obviously,
that's like your favorite movie. Yeah, hot Rod parodied it
pretty well with Andy Sandberg dancing in the woods, but
this really did feel like Footloose. I kind of want
to put the music to the fucking scene.
Speaker 2: Instead we had we had cold Play, yeah, which it
did feel. I feel like anytime the movie goes into
like Rome Man, it's or teen drama, like this does
feel like Web is shooting this. Well, yeah, this works,
it's just not necessarily as a great Spider Man swinging.
Speaker 1: On chains and he's like, I should probably be a
swinging spider guy. Uh. Connors shows Peter around Oscorp and
he goes, here's our cannon, our cloud cannon. Sure it
has a name. It's like it just shoots a bunch
of shit in the air.
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like you can't hold it against the movie
too much because it's just a thing comic book movies
always do. It's like, here's some weird new technology that
will be used by the villain later.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the microwave emitter the.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know Batman begins, Yeah yeah, or Dark Knight rises,
like that stupid power plant that built that gets turned
into a nuke if you push the wrong.
Speaker 1: Like Spider Man too, the the what you call it
the sun thing that he was making.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the power of the sun, that power yeah, yes,
but that's Spider Man one. We're working on this goblin
suit over here. Who would ever use a goblin suit
for evil?
Speaker 1: But it's just so weird that it's just like it
wasn't very impressive. It's like, yeah, it just shoots a
bunch of chemicals and stuff in the air. It's like, oh,
you need a rocket for that.
Speaker 2: And also did you have to build it to realize
wait a minute, this could be used for some bad sty.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I got through that. Like I think,
like the Geneva convention or whatever up if and stuff
like that, like, oh, we could uh put a whole
thing in the cloud that cures people. But then we realize,
what if people don't want it or don't need it, Like.
Speaker 2: We keep working on it, and you and I are
building this machine yea both like I don't know something
about this feels off. It's probably fine, and then final
later I'll call you mctony biochemical warfare.
Speaker 1: I just damn it, right. We frowned upon that. We
you know, we did World War One and we went
I know, we're all killed each other, but that mustard
cast was a little a little little too much. I think,
maybe let's not build a cannon that shoots chemicals everywhere
splitting the atom, though we gotta do that for America. Uh,
but yeah, so it's just it's just the dumbest device
they could have came up. But it's like it's a rocket,
just shoots things. They're like, oh cool, that's so dumb.
The microwave emitter was at least like a little complicated
and cool, like, oh, it evaporates all the water, but
they pre put the stuff in the water. Here it's
it's a rocket. But yeah, it's clearly like, yes, here's
the thing has nothing to do what we're doing, so
it's clear they're gonna be used for evil. Later. They
use some hologram shit like Ironman to run a test
on digital rats, right because they have two three legged
rats or mice, and they're like, we're gonna put your
program in there and your algorithm and we're gonna figure
it out. And the digital mouse survives it on like
the fifth or sixth time, which to me, I'd be like,
you might want to find tune that a little bit.
It took like six times for that thing to find like,
uh work. So they're excited for the future of a
growing limbs back. Uh. Peter goes home and of course
he gets chewed out for not picking up may He
even ignored the phone call. I do like that moment
where he's just like, oh, don't answer that phone.
Speaker 2: I'm glad it's working out, and May is trying to
be nice. You know, it's fine, it's not fine. Stop
defending a boy being a man and apologize.
Speaker 1: It is like my wife had to walk twelve blocks
in the middle of the night. It's like, well, it's nine.
Speaker 2: O'clock and someone menacingly danced at her on the way home.
Someone tried to bounce a peer bottle on her head.
Speaker 1: She's like, and she had to get on a train,
And so I would have been like, why did she
take a cab? And he would have been like, because
she has a credit card and they pretend that their
credit card machines are broken. I hate it. I hate
it getting cab. Thank God for Uber. I hate a cab.
Speaker 2: I used to go into a panic every time I
was taking a cab because there was that crossover period
where a lot of them just didn't even have credit
card machines.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I don't have cash. I just don't. I
had to go in. I would literally be like, I
just want you to know right now, I only have
a card. There is no cash.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then even if they say it's okay, it
would be begrudgingly. So then I just feel awkward the
whole ride because.
Speaker 1: They always try to spring it on you afterwards, like
what are you fucking doing in this day and age?
Like I get why you would want cash war, but like,
how are you not adapting with the times at all? Yeah,
because we look what happened, we all stopped using cabs, Like,
that's what happened. Short term thinking there, short term thinking yep. Anyway,
and then he brings up the responsibility that doesn't really work.
Speaker 2: Well here, linguistic gymnastics to avoid saying, with great responsibility
or with great powers, great responsibility. You're a lot like
your father. You really are, Peter, And that's a good thing.
But your father lived by a philosophy, a principle.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 2: He believed that if you could do good things for
other people, you had a moral obligation to do those things.
That's what's at stake here, not choice. Responsibility doesn't have
quite the same ring.
Speaker 1: It's just weird that he's bringing it up because he
forgot to pick his ant up from work, Like it's
just what the fuck is this? What is why is this?
The lesson were teaching him for this. It reminds me.
Speaker 2: Okay, my favorite podcast other than Hack the movie fell
I'm Steve Dave Walt Flanning again. On that podcast, there's
this band he's really into a Monster Magnet, this guy
and that they had Monster Magnet on and he was
telling him that one of his favorite lines from one
of his songs is like, if you go to bed
with the devil, like, don't wake up and cry when
Jesus isn't there. And he's like, I've been waiting for
the opportunity to use that on my daughters. It's like,
but they don't do anything bad enough, so it's like, oh,
she forgot to bring her bike into the garage.
Speaker 1: Don't go to bed with the devil. And then it
made sense in the first movie because you know, he
beat the hell out of like Flash Yeah, and he
showed off and stuff.
Speaker 2: Here he's not doing anything bad enough. It's like, yeah,
you scored a point in basketball. Listen, Peter, Yeah, your
father lived by a principle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so dumb, like it's just not earned it all.
I don't even think Ben says it in the original comic.
I just think it's a line at the.
Speaker 2: End, and the original it's just narrator un named there.
I mean, it's just like the text of the comic.
Later in Wolverine Versus Spider Man, they retroactively say to
uncle Ben is the one who.
Speaker 1: Said okay, because like in the original, like the very
first comic, it's like he got these powers and then
he became like a TV star and wrestler and he
was showing off. So he's using it for personal gain
and then he realized, oh wait, no, I have a
responsibility if I can do good. It made sense there,
it made sense of the Sammaraimy won. It doesn't make
sense here why he's getting this lesson when he really
hasn't done anything to earn the lesson. Yet, you forgot
to pick up the eggs on the way home. What
the fuck? I know?
Speaker 2: My father power responsibility tell me it's every time I
come home.
Speaker 1: You have the ability to pick up eggs on the
way home. There must also come a responsibility to pick
up those eggs. Anyway, he shuts the door and shatters
it because he's super strong.
Speaker 2: Spider Man Doe reference, I'll pay the rent when you
fix this.
Speaker 1: Tad, So Peter can't afford milk. Also, he's hiding underneath
the bridge with Uncle Ben. We're about to reveal that
this whole thing was reshot uh. And he goes into
a store and the guy like just won't let him
have the milk, which a couple of cents short. Peter.
Speaker 2: I also love the idea that this is how Peter
deals with stretch. I'm I'm telling I need some chocolate milk.
Speaker 1: Oh. So you look at his like figure and how
lean he is. It's like, it's not chricking chocolate. I
want chocolate milk, extra chocolate. But yeah, and then this
the guy is really being addic to him. Yeah, he's
like yeah, although it's also Peter's fault. It's like, fuck you.
Peter gets up the cheaper like a bottle of water.
Speaker 2: You don't need the chocolate milk, and you are two
cents short, Like this is America, all right, cost the cost.
Speaker 1: We're very capitalist here. But yeah, although the shop owner
is kind of being a so of course Peter is like.
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, I'm two cents short, and the shop owners like, listen,
my father lived by a.
Speaker 1: Course. This guy with long hair and a star tattoo,
he robs the store he doesn't even like he's not
even that bad of a burgler because he waits for
the guy to turn around and then takes money and
then he throws Peter like a like a milk, Yeah,
chocolate milk. How can you forget that? I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
but yeah, that is just like again, this is another
like like the burglar was doing like bad stuff before,
and I know this is bad, but like it's not
as bad as like pulling a gun out and beating
a guy and then Peter letting him go, Like that
was pretty bad. Like, yeah, that chopowner was kind of
a dick. Yeah, he kind of haven't had a coming
if he wasn't such a dick.
Speaker 2: And then he has the he has the audacity when
Peter thanks man. Yeah, like at least again in the
in the Peter Park and the Toby mguire version, like
you could somewhat see that guy's side of things. Yeah,
he's like I said, you get this much money for
five minutes you beat the guy in one this is
show business, kid, Like that guy.
Speaker 1: Was also kind of scummy. So there was a gun
wielding man beating people.
Speaker 2: Like that's a little bit dichotomy and keyword kind of
scummy here. I don't think we see the gun yet.
So he's just a guy just helped.
Speaker 1: No, And so I don't like how they changed this
because the guy gets away. The store owners like stop stop,
and Ben hears this. Uncle Ben is turning the corn.
He's like, I hear someone in danger in real life.
Just don't interfere and be like goodbye. Uh that's York.
That's a true New York learned gil. I once saw
a bicycler as they're called, get yelled at by a
homeless guy and then he picked up his bike and
he tried to beat him with it. And you know
what I did. I stayed on the other side of
the street and did absolutely nothing. I watched for a
little bit. It ended up it he just kind of
shook the bike at him. They never get actually came
to blows.
Speaker 2: You let you at the guy with the bicycle go
And then your uncle was like, Tony wisten.
Speaker 1: No, the bicycle the bicycle guy was actually the good
guy that situation. He was beating but it was one
of those just like, man, something band's happening over there,
not my problem. I'll watch for a little bit. But again,
they just they kind of just shouted. It kind of
got awkward because the guy's just holding a bike but
then never got to use it, and so it's just
like he like, it's.
Speaker 2: Just amazing waiting for his moments. I'm gonna hit somebody
with this bike.
Speaker 1: One like eve a go a bar. You think two
guys are gonna fight, and then they get nippled and
nipple in their face and that's it. The fight never happens.
That's what it felt like. It's like I was kind
of lamest.
Speaker 2: Nipples make contact. They both just feel really.
Speaker 1: Awkward because it's only someone's waiting for the other one
to throw the first punch, so the first one never
gets thrown. You're like, now it's just uncomfortable. I'm gonna
walk over there.
Speaker 2: The nile touch and then you go to your friends
like I think it.
Speaker 1: Moves Seinfeld reference. Anyway, uh Ben has no idea what's
going on. He sees this guy fall over and the
gun falls out. Yeah, and this hippie communist just assumes
that's the bad guy instead of respecting his Second Amendment, right,
how does he know? How does he I mean obviously
the bad guy, but how does he not know that
this was a hero who was chasing the burglar. He
should have been like, here, sir, here is your weapon
that you're legal.
Speaker 2: Maybe somebody was trying to steal some chocolate milk and
this guy was trying to stand up and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing Ben. Ben doesn't really know what's happening.
For some reason, he just goes, you're a bad guy,
and of course the guy goes his instinct is to
jump for the gun. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he basically I think he wanted to die to
teach Peter a lesson. He's like, would you mind shooting me?
Speaker 1: What? Oh my boy, you forgot to pick up some eggs,
And it's just such a lazy, clunky way to get
Ben shot. Yeah, I don't know. It was just very
bizarre to me.
Speaker 2: Well, Peter's whole family, they're not the brightest bulls drawer, like,
especially when we get into Amazing Spider Man two and
you see like how his father is trying to steal
us corpse secrets and the run away or whatever has
the most boneheaded plan to do it. Yeah, so yeah,
he's just not learning from the b Yeah.
Speaker 1: But then Peter runs over and he's with Ben as
Ben dies and it's very sad. Then we realize it
was completely that was like a whole reshoot. Yeah, so
before Ben was looking for him, and Ben is on
the phone leaving a voicemail which comes back. So this
whole voicemail that Peter gets. It's very annoying in the
the ashvill cut because you're like, when did he leave that?
It didn't make sense, really said from beyond the Grave, Yeah,
and it doesn't make it still kind of doesn't make
sense in this version because he was too mad at
Peter to leave such a heartwarming speech on his voicemail. Realistically,
be like, where the fuck are you? Get home right now?
Speaker 2: And if my son like shatters my front door like
storms off, yeah, I'm not gonna immediately pull up my
phone and you're my hero.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Uh. But at least we see him leaving the voicemail,
so there would have been more of a setup. But
then he sees someone. I don't even think it's that burglar.
Speaker 2: He just sees a shadowy figure and he's like, Peter,
is that you Peter? And I'm like, why do you
assume there's a lot of people in New York? Yeah,
And you see like a creepy shadowy figures.
Speaker 1: Just follows him into an alley. I think maybe that's
something kind of like Spider Man three, where was revealed
that the Sandman killed him. I think maybe that was
like something like, we'll leave it open ended who killed
uncle Ben? But then everyone got annoyed with that, so
they're like, actually, that's very confusing. Let's just reshoot it
where that guy did is probably gonna be the gentleman introduced. Yeah,
oh god, it probably was gonna be something like that again,
too much origins with his family or whatever. Okay, so
they reshot it where it was just that guy. It
was just him, and he gets away, and then we
see the May and Peter are all sad. They're talking
to the cops. Uh. And then that's when he sees
the voicemail, but he doesn't play all of it. Uh.
Everyone feels bad for Peter. Even Flash feels bad for Peter.
So this is when Peter decides he's gonna get revenge, yes,
and he's gonna hunt down everyone who he thinks might
have killed his uncle. But since the guy was wearing
glasses and a beanie, he can't figure out who that is.
So some dudes chase him on a rooftop. So everyone
he like beats up. He checks to see if they
have the star tattoo. But he's not wearing any costume
or anything, right, So guys chase him on a rooftop
and then he falls into a wrestling ring. Yeah. And
this is the wrestling part of his origin where he's
like because the guy goes, I remember your face. It's like,
will you remember his face like four months from now?
I don't think you will.
Speaker 2: I hate this so much because again it's like, we
can't repeat what the other movies did, but we need
to show how he gets the mask, and so it's
done in this so so cheesy, Like literally he lands
into a wrestling ring. Yeah, and then like you said,
I know what you look like. You hear me, I've
seen your face. And then Peter looks up and sees
a lucha door mask.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It just that wouldn't happen in real life.
Speaker 2: This is too It's too ridiculous that like that, like
explicitly the universe is telling you you should wear a
spider mask.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he sees the luchador. It's so dumb, like
they had to work in the wrestling origins somehow, and
that's what they landed on because the other that's probably
the same Raimi wanted did the origin so well. Yeah,
even the changes they made, you would just kind of
keep doing it over and over again. But it's like,
that's that's it. He's like, oh, a mask, I should
wear one of those. It's like cool. So yeah, he
orders a red mask and it looks dumb. And then
he makes his web shooters using the Oscorp stuff. Yeah,
there are that really pissed me off. I mean, it's
making the web shooters is kind of unreal. That's why
I didn't mind them being organic. But I mean, at
least it's something like you can't also order the webs
from the bad Guy factory. I do, Like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: There's like little moments that the movie generally was forgettable
to me when I first saw But there are little
moments I never forgot, And for some reason, one of
them is the first time he gets the web to work,
like in his bedroom.
Speaker 1: He does this, He's like that was so dum. Oh
my god, he was excited. I forgot how excited he
was to play Spider Man. Like he wore an outfit
at Comic Con, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah he talked about like how meaningful it was to him.
Yeah yeah, And I want to say, like we've been
pretty negative. Like I do think Andrew Garfield. I think
he took the role very seriously and like when Uncle
Ben gets killed, like he puts in such a great performance.
Like I think anytime he goes for the emotion, I
feel it, and like those little moments shine through in
a pretty messy couple of movies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I feel the same way about Henry cavill.
It's like he had the right guy for the job.
He could have pulled it off. He gave him nothing, Yeah,
gave him nothing but garbage to work with, but eventually
he did do a good job and no way home.
He did do a good job. Oh yeah, yeah, Okay,
then he tests out swinging. I don't know why he
picked here to swing the tallest building he could find,
which wasn't even He doesn't even wear his mask or anything,
so anyone could have been like, there's a guy swinging
there he is he like does it in front of
a cat the one empty street in New York Hill.
Speaker 2: I don't know how he already has the mask by
this point, right, but for some reason, he's chosen not to.
Speaker 1: Wear it here. Yeah, yeah, it was so dumb, but yeah,
so he swings around. Uh, he's got to figure it out.
And then we see Dennis Leary as a Captain Spacey Stacy.
He will be filling in the role of j Jonah Jamison.
He's a man. Yeah, Captain space Stacy is a character,
but like, I don't remember him being like j Jonah Jamison.
Really I could be wrong.
Speaker 2: I mean he he was like did not approve of
the visil Anti tactics, right, I don't remember his character
too well.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. Dennis Leary makes me sad now
whenever I see him, because Dennis Leary is like one
of the reasons I really grew to love stand up comedy.
Like I watched his specials when I was younger. I'm like,
this is really funny. He got me like reeled into
stand up commed And then you get older and you
realized he like stole all that from Louis c k
And what's his face? One of the other dead comedian
and a dead comedian and it's like, oh, I'm like
this kind of I really love the asshole song. But
apparently it's all like stolen and repurpose. I'm like, kind like,
it's so annoying that my gateway into this world turned
out to be an asshole. And I think he did
steal stuff because his comedy got worse as it went on,
like No Cure for Cancer is great, that other specials
like okay, and then it was all downhill. He's like,
I'm just gonna be an actor from now on. I'm
gonna do ice age eleven. That ain't gonna be it.
Speaker 2: We're starting to see why Tony doesn't like this movie
so much. He's a lot of personal traumas related to this.
Why does au Garfield get to have em a stone?
Speaker 1: So then we see some first person swinging, but it's
heavily edited. That first teaser there was an extended first
person running on the rooftops and swinging sequence, which I
thought was gonna because that's something that wasn't in the originals,
and then here it's completely trimmed down, even though it
would have been cool. It would have been the one
cool thing to see in the three D. And then
we get the first look at his suit and it's terrible.
I like it. I think it's cool.
Speaker 2: I love like the basketball texture, and I know they
got rid of it for the second one, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like the basketball texture. I don't like
the yellow eyes. Yeah, he just looks very I don't
like that he looks like he has a red dick
on his abdomen because the belt doesn't connect with it. Yea.
Luckily it's all like mostly in the dark, but if
you look at it, it's just it just looks like
he has a red dick on him. Like.
Speaker 2: I don't like the subtle for me, Like, I don't
know what those bumps do for the suit, but it
just feels very tactical, Like this feels like you want
to know what a Spider Man suit would look like
in real life.
Speaker 1: This is it. And then even the webs they feel.
Speaker 2: More physical than the sam Raimi ones, like they feel metallical.
Speaker 1: I guess. So I think I'm in the minority, though,
I do if people like that suit, because the second
one they made it more like what it yeah normally.
Speaker 2: And I will say also like they make Spider Man
look you don't look at him and you're like, it's
the friendly neighborhood Spider Man like he it's like they're
trying to make him a little scarier in this version.
I think in this weird looking suit does kind of
feed more into that image than like, you know, Toby Maguire,
Like that looks like fun I want to swing around
like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just I can never get into it.
You can never get into he's a menace, he's a mensis.
So he has to stop a carjacker. And there was
a big uh, there was a big complaint in the
other films that Spider Man wasn't joky enough, right, not
enough quips, too many equips. There's too many equips and
guess what, most of them aren't funny. Yeah, if you
work on rob cars, don't drest like a carjacker Like
that wasn't funny.
Speaker 2: It's also like he does a lot of equipping in
this one scene. Yeah, And it's also like this is
when he's at his angriest. This is where he's out
for events.
Speaker 1: He should still be like you killed my uncle, And
now he's just like I'm gonna be haha, joking. My
one weakness. It's small knives and all that stupid shit.
And then he's shooting his webs and showing off and
I hate that his webs like glow red every single time.
It's like, we're just adding too much stuff that doesn't
need to be added.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if I'm being completely fair and honest, that stuff
didn't really bother me.
Speaker 1: But I see the point though, Yeah, equip once in
a while, it's for some reason, it's easier to read
in a comic.
Speaker 2: Spread the quips around you eat them all in one shot.
Speaker 1: He pulls down the guy's sleeve, realizes there's no star tattoo,
and he's like, this could have been way worse. It's like,
what would you have murdered him? Like what do you?
What was your long term plan to catch your uncle's killer?
But then all the cops show up? What first it's
just one and then they all show up. And I actually,
early on because I forgot the rest of the movie,
I was like, that seems like a lot of cops
at once, and then it gets explained. Actually later on
you're like, Okay, that actually made more sense. But yeah,
he swings away after insulting an NYPD officer, I did
eighty percent of your job. But he's feeling pretty good Gil.
He's fighting crime. He's criticizing cops. He's got a dumb
sup but he forgot to pick up those eggs. He forgot.
After the sad eggs scene, we see Raget tell Connors
that he needs to start human trials. Yes, He's like,
you have to start it right now, and Connor's like,
I just figured this out on mice. He's like, Gorman
Osborn is dying. I'm like, oh, okay, what do you
want me to do about this? Like there's a process here,
But Connors refuses to do it on humans and he
gets fired. That's a shame. Gwen invites Peter to her
home for dinner to meet Captain Stacey, who hates him,
and then we have Connor's really missing his arm. He
does that thing where he puts his one arm to
make it look like he has too. But we noticed
the wedding ring pretty much evering with his wife and
kid were I'm probably not even filmed. We found one
deleted scene of him and his son where he gives
them the opposite of bends and bikes, where he's like,
beat up everyone who's mean to you.
Speaker 2: Remember how Mom and I always told you not to
fight back when someone hurts you.
Speaker 1: Yeah I was wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I mean, we'll talk more about the
Lizard and Kirk Connors, but he is definitely a step
down in terms of like fun and interesting villains coming
off the last three movies. I think it would have
helped to give more texture to his character, to see
more of his family, but you know what we saw
in the deleted scenes, like none of that stuff I
thought was all that enticing. Yeah, so I think it
was the right move to cut it out because I
think just having more but still being bland and just
making the movie longer wouldn't have helped. Yeah, but yeah,
that was definitely a His character is just you have
a great actor and just give him.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, we're about any little bit of character they give
him again, like you said, was trimmed out. Yeah, but
he's about he's like somewhat compelling here because he's like
not a surrogate father, but someone who's like Peter's father
that he get to know. And he's literally just gonna
be I'm bad guyed lizard man. Yeah, everyone be lizards Like.
Speaker 2: This is pretty much That's what you just said was
a more compelling argument than what he made.
Speaker 1: But like there's like scenes where he's like talking to
himself kind of, and there's little character moments all gone, Yeah,
all gone. So he tested on himself, because this is
Spider Man, they like to do that.
Speaker 2: I think this is a great moment to exemplify how
bad of a character he is, because this is crazy.
He takes something that's only been tested on one real
mouse and one digital mouse, and then to inject it
into yourself and like the the biological trauma of melding
your DNA with a spiders and then regrow lizards and
then regrowing a limb. Like, that's crazy, and I feel
like we needed to see a level of desperation from
this character to be willing to do that.
Speaker 1: Also, if he was willing to do it, but then
I would have been like I would have called that
guy up and been like, I changed my mind, come back,
we'll do it right now. Yeah, you monitor me so
I don't turn into a lizard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I don't buy that moment at all.
And you can say, oh, cartoon logic, comic book movie.
But a lot of this is presented and it's trying
to be fairly grounded.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well this is post Dark Night and a lot
of movies were trying to do like, let's do realistic stuff.
But then the MCU was getting away from that, So
this kind of like fell in the middle there, same
thing with a fant four stick, and that kind of
felt and like do we want to be gritty but
also be like Marvel? They really couldn't figure out what
they wanted to do. So Peter, like an idiot, uses
the fire escape to draw attention to himself instead of
just walking into the thing normally.
Speaker 2: He was invited over for dinner. It's like he doesn't
have to sneak in.
Speaker 1: You don't have to do Spider Man shit right now.
Man Captain Stacy is suspicious of him. He's like, what's
your deal, buddy, But he invites them in to eat
with them, and then Connor's arm grows back so gross.
It like comes out of that cocuon.
Speaker 2: I did like that. Yeah, it's like a lizard cocuona.
And then even once his hand is free, like it's
a little like Tran Wollen.
Speaker 1: I like that. So yeah, he makes a cab driver,
uh drive him to hunt down the dude, the Oscorp guy, uh,
and he starts to turn into a lizard man. Uh.
Stacy Captain Stacy trash talk spider Man, and again Peter
is really bad at covering his identity. He's like, I
think he's trying to help and the cops aren't doing
a good job. It's like, no, Peter, you're doing a
bad job at this. You can't go too hard, you
can't do like I agree, we should kill him man.
That'll also draw attention. You should be like, yeah, I
don't approve of his actions.
Speaker 2: Either, instead of like some might say, I'm I'm I
I mean Peter, I mean spider Man is trying to
help people, you know.
Speaker 1: I think it's something we do the Superman episodes. But
there was a great Saturday Night Live where the rock
with Superman, and the whole joke is that Clark is
really bad covering up his identity. So he's he's wearing
a business suit and you just see the red and
blue sticking out of it, and they read one of
his articles and it's just like that's when, I I
mean Superman, God, Clark, you're doing it again. They're like,
why did he leave out in the article?
Speaker 2: They're like, are you spider Man? He's give me a
cowboy hack quick. We don't even know what he looks like,
how's the cowboy hat going to help?
Speaker 1: And then this is where we learned that that carjacker
they had been casing him for months and they were
he was gonna lead him to like a bigger operation.
That's why there were so many cop cars around, but
Spider Man messed it up. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was similar to Tom Holland and Spider Man Homecoming, right
when he goes after Vulture on the Staten Island ferry
and Tony's like, bro I was working with the FBI.
That was a sting operation. Oh he could have told
me that.
Speaker 1: He's like, no, it's below your pay grain. I think
he says to him. Peter rambles like an idiot. With
Gwnn Stacy, this feels like Michael Keaton trying to tell
what's his face? That what's her face? That he's Batman
struggling and then he just shoots a web and she's like,
oh my god, you're Spider Man and we're in love.
I guess sure.
Speaker 2: I like this scene that high school romance. I have
a lot of experience with it, and it was like this,
you know, it moves fast. Back in those days, I had.
Speaker 1: Just nothing but bad experiences with his senses go off
and he hears cars like cop cars. He's like, he knows
something's happening. And we even see Captain Stacy getting his
cop car and leave, so he's like, I gotta do
some Spider Man shit right now, see you. The lizard
broke out of the cab, I do like the shot
of the cab just all ripped up. The lizard broke
out and he's now on the Williamsburg Bridge and he's
looking for a raheet. Peter suits up and he's catching
cars as they're flying off the building. And this is
like his first big like Spider Man fighting a super
monster scene really, except for when he gets there, the
Lizard's arm starts dissolving and he's just like, oh, I
gotta leave now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this becomes more of a The centerpiece of the
scene is him saving that child.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. If you're wondering what happens to the Oscorp
guy cut out of the rest of the movie, we'll
mention what he was supposed to do later on, but
as far as we are concerned, he's no longer in
the movie. But yeah, here he has to calm a
kid down and he gives the kid his mask and
he's like, you could be strong like me, And I'm like,
how long has Spider Man been spider manning the kids
should be.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know where you are.
Speaker 1: You're scary looking. Why are you wearing a basketball? Yeah?
Are you're wearing a basketball? And I am on this
fire and you're I don't know what's happening.
Speaker 2: And they could have caught that carjacker if not for you, kid?
How do you know all this?
Speaker 1: So? Yeah, Spider Man saves him. He like shoots him
with the web as the car falls, and then Spider
Man the meeting of two heroes. Spider Man meets soul
Man see Thomas hal Is, the kid's dad. I'm like, oh,
Soulman's in this. I forgot go back and watch our
soul Man episode. This is what.
Speaker 2: It's one of those like smile and nod moments where
Tony texts me and he's like, it's so.
Speaker 1: Man I'm like, yeah, right, do you not watch soul
Bad regularly? It's being Manny's I'm so mad that many
had like a thing that he had to go to
to our monster Mania because I was literally gonna have
him hold the soul Man table sure what Thomas, because
I'm like, I bet you that's never happened with Thomas.
But he will come back later. Yes, here's a question
I have. Why are there so many lizards in the
sewers and over New York in general?
Speaker 2: That feels like an idea that they didn't want to
fully commit to. Is that lizard is now communing with
all the lizards that I guess are in.
Speaker 1: New York City.
Speaker 2: Now, maybe maybe it's like the lizards all have a
hive mind, So all the lizards in Florida are like
our father has spawned in New York City, and so
they're all making.
Speaker 1: Their way down. That's not how lizards work, is one
of the delead scenes, wasn't.
Speaker 2: He's like a whole like migration of lizards across the
desert coming to.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: I dreamt that when I fell asleep while we were
watching them.
Speaker 1: No, I don't know how many lizards are in New York, Gill,
how many lizards do you?
Speaker 2: I can honestly say I've never seen one lizard in
New York City. I saw a rat, well, a rat
ran over my foot once.
Speaker 1: We've all seen disgusting hold on are the lizards. Home
to four lizard species? How do you think I say,
home to four lizards, three rare.
Speaker 2: The guy who cuts my hair he just got a
pet lizard, okay named Poncho.
Speaker 1: Okay, well apparently you do have ups hold on.
Speaker 2: A thriving lizard populace.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, I wrote New York and stead of in
New York City. Yeah, hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on, because this like confused me. Lizards. I'm just
getting New York State. I'm not getting the actual New
York City. Ask chatchipt. Don't worry, don't be afraid of it,
don't worry about it. Yeah. So the whole movie, there's
like these lizards, but there's nothing like Connor's let them out.
There wasn't like a leak at oz Corp. Like that
would have been one line. You're like, you might've known me.
One of our containers broke, and now that's the reason
we have so many lizards around. There's just randomly lizards
that it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2: And I'm also like, what is doctor Connor's like mind
state right now? Yeah, Like he looks at a lizard
in the sewer and goes beautiful once he comes to
and he's human again, Like, how does he feel about
what he's done?
Speaker 1: Like, what is what's going on with Kurt Connors? Yeah
you don't really. I mean with with Green.
Speaker 2: Goblin and Doc Och in the previous movies, you get
a much better feel.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So Captain Stacy's there where he addresses the
press and even though Spider Man saved the kid and
a lizard monster was throwing the cars off the bridge,
he issues a warrant for Spider Man's arrest.
Speaker 2: As good as we had is he the only person
we know is there with Spider Man? Is that how
that works? Like if you don't know who did it,
then it's just anyone who happened to be there.
Speaker 1: This is your arrest warrant whatever. Yeah, but it's just like, yeah,
the well, the lizard was throwing people and uh, Spider
Man was there, but like it'd be one thing. He's like,
I want both of them Instead, He's like, we gotta
focus on Spider Man. I'm like, yeah, Spider Man's been
going after Bad Eyes and there's literally a lizard trying
to kill people. It becomes a problem at the end
where it's like, oh, your priorities are fucked man. So yeah, Uh,
Peter shows when the Spider outside on the football field. Uh,
and then he someone throws a football at him and
he catches it and then breaks the field with it.
Speaker 2: That was like reflex he on purpose. I think it
was just like it was so fast. Okay, maybe nobody
saw yeah, but but yeah, he's again not being very
careful with his idea. He's also holding a spider Yeah.
Look at this, Gwen.
Speaker 1: I'm not Spider Man, Like we didn't ask if you were.
So he learned because he's been going after people for
revenge this whole time. This is the first time he
had to save someone, and he learns that, you know,
he has this great power, so he might have a
moral obligation or a responsibility if you save people, Like well,
really took a so dull.
Speaker 2: It's basically the same lesson Frank Castle recently learned and
his punisher went off. He's like, wait a minute, when
I kill people, if they're bad people who are gonna
hurt other people, I'm helping those people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm sure he'll learn that again in Spider
Man's brand new Day. I'm sure when we meet him
he's about to quit again. Peter visits Connors, who somehow
still works there even though he was fired.
Speaker 2: Well, so I think he basically told him, like, you
need to start human trials or else. And then I
think by testing it on himself, is that enough to
appease them? And I still work here? I guess is that.
Speaker 1: I don't know? Well, I guess maybe in this cup,
we're just supposed to be like, Oh, only that guy
knew and he's dead maybe gone from this version.
Speaker 2: Let's assume he saw the wrongness of his ways. Yeah,
and he's reformed now.
Speaker 1: But I like that he's just like I gave everyone
the week off so I can do lizards, and he's
got scales growing on him, Like Peter, that's the lizard.
He's just evil now.
Speaker 2: And he's like, you know, lizards can be quite dangerous
when they're threatened.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Okay, yeah, he goes. Parker asks how
a predator would track a reptile, and the lizard goes.
They don't cut to a video of a big cat
eating an alligator. Yes, they do. They lizards get hunted
and reptiles get hunted. A lot actually cut to a
hawk picking up a snake, Like, what the hell was
this line? I guess he's biased because he has lizard brain. Yeah,
but it's like, no, no, they're at the top of
their food Chaine. I'm like, probably not.
Speaker 2: Well, this is this is like Alan Grant in Jurassic
Part three. He's like, you know, raptors would probably be
the dominant species.
Speaker 1: If if not for that asteroid.
Speaker 2: It's like they're just they're smarter than humans.
Speaker 1: It's like, probably not. Actually, Connor's who again is not
hiding that he's the lizard, and this is two idiots. Yeah,
neither one is hiding their identity. Peter's like, so.
Speaker 2: If I were Spider Man, and He's like, well, if
I were lizard Peter, I mean Spider Man, I mean Peter.
Speaker 1: So Peter's like, huh, I'm a I'm not convinced. Hey,
what's happening over here? And he sees the test mouse
is now a lizard mouse that's eating the other.
Speaker 2: Doctor Connors is turning into a mouse lizard. There's no Einstein.
Speaker 1: Maybe he can help me figure out who the lizard is,
but like, right then and there he should walk out
and start punching the lizard, I know, and web him
up and be like, everyone tests this guy.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna save the poor mice. You're gonna stop hurting
the mice. Peter, it's not what this is about. It's
the giant lizard.
Speaker 1: What Instead, Instead he goes to Captain Stacy and tells
him all of this, But does it even bring the
lizard mouse with him to go look what into this mouse?
Speaker 2: He would take a picture, but did the lizard break
his camera yet? No, he's taking a picture.
Speaker 1: He doesn't even go to anyone else in Oscorp and
go look at this thing. They they're all home for
the weekend, the whole building. No, I would have went downstairs,
but you gotta get security. Is Norman around, like this
guy made a lizard monster. I think he's the lizard.
It's so dumb. And then Captain Stacey's just like he
wrote a recommendation letter for my daughter. I cried when
I read it, was like, what the fuck? So I'm
not gonna say that he's a dinosaur anyway. Peter sees
lizards going into the sewer and he's like, well, he
must be down there.
Speaker 2: That's why lizards are in the movie, so they could
throw that in there.
Speaker 1: Uh, Connor's down there and he's uh, he's made his
own lab.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, what's cool though, is when Spider Man sets
up his like web radar.
Speaker 1: I thought that was interesting. Yes, does he do that
right now? Yes? Yeah, So Connors is there with his lab,
and you're right, Spider Man goes up and he makes
a web like a spider actually does. That was actually
your cool moment. Yeah, And he's sitting in the middle
and he's playing a game on his phone. Uh. And
then we hear like the web starts to move again
like a spider. That was like a clever moment. Would
have been cool and like a good movie. But then
all the lizards are climbing the webs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is like I guess, even if he didn't
make the web radar, Yeah, he probably would have found
those lizards anyway.
Speaker 1: It's still cool though, I guess. But then the real
lizard shows up and they fight, and the whole time
the pictures are going off because he's taking pictures for
the Daily Bugle.
Speaker 2: I guess maybe today established that it's for the yearbook.
I'm a Spider Man. But here's a bunch of close
up photos of pictures only Spider Man could possibly.
Speaker 1: Have gotten the lizard likes license his chest pretty good?
Speaker 2: Uh which lizard? But so what do you think of
his design.
Speaker 1: His like look and everything. Yeah, terrible, Okay, I don't
like his.
Speaker 2: He looks like the Ninja turtles from the Michael Bay iteration.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, he looks like the goomba. Yeah, I wrote
that down. I was gonna say gooomba. He looks like
a big I don't know why they didn't do the snout,
and I guess it's because they wanted him to talk
and it's easier to do that with the human face.
Speaker 2: I see why they went this way.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't hate the design. It looks weird because we
all know the look.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But early on, I think his face was a
little bit more flat and much like Killer Krock. It
got more pronounced later.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like Batman's ears that just because it
goes super long and pointy, they'll get shorter.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. At some point Killer Crock was like mutant
it to be even more Crocodilian, and then they went back.
But I think Lizard. Once they got the snout, they're like,
that's it. That's the look.
Speaker 2: I do like in this movie. They do a good
job of making him quite intimidating. He's at this giant
clause it looks like if he flicks his wrist he
could sere Spider Man.
Speaker 1: Park So they fight, they go into the water. Spider
Man can't use his web in the water, obviously, but yeah,
Peter gets washed away. They get like separated, and when
the lizard goes back, he finds the camera and he
knows that is Parker. It's Peter Parker. Peter goes to
Gwen's house and she helps patch him up, and then
Peter feels responsible for Connors because he helped with the
algorithm to make him. It's like, well, you didn't I
don't know if that counts as the responsibility. You didn't
know he was gonna shoot himself up with it. You
were doing research.
Speaker 2: To be fair, you assumed this genius scientist wasn't an idiot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Peter, this one isn't on Peter. That's all I'm
gonna say. This isn't on Peter. This is like the
the Aquaman movie did a good job with this where
he just doesn't help black Man in the beginning, and
then he's like, oh, if I had like arrested them
and save them. I probably would have stopped him from
becoming an even bigger asshole. Already an asshole.
Speaker 2: And when it's like, maybe you should have taken a
page out of Aquaman.
Speaker 1: Your movie's in trouble.
Speaker 2: That first one is okay, Okay, I never saw it,
but from when I heard of his okay, I don't.
I can't remember if I did or not. I know
I saw the second one, yeah, just because I was
gonna have to see the last gasp of the DC.
Speaker 1: The first one's good. The problem is it's like really
long because I think they thought they were only gonna
get one Aquaman movie, so they did everything they could.
We need to do Aquaman Justice, Yeah, we gotta do
a black Man and Ocean Master and all this other
stuff and all the kingdoms. It's like, you know, to
do all of them at once? What the fuck? And
then they did a second one and that was a mess.
It wasn't like super terrible, but it was Clay So
he does the whole thing responsibility, but he doesn't have
time for that because he's got to swing around and
be in love with Gwenn Stacy. And this might have
been where we got the deleteding of them, like kissing
on top of that clock tour that's not finished. We
watched that deleted scene Connors is talking to himself because
that's what happened in the first movie. Yep, so we've
they've cut out a lot of him, like monologuing that
would have played throughout the whole film and stuff, and
they cut all that out and they just had it
all internally. Now give it, you know you could do
this feels like, hey, we edited all those we got
rid of all those scenes. We have to do some
voiceover stuff. He's just have he just has a subconscience
that's talking to him. It's like it's real late in
the movie to introduce that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I kind of like the movie's a
mess anyway, and he's already just cartoon mustache, early evil
villain like whatever, so you do.
Speaker 1: It's just the alternate personality was introduced pretty early and
Spider Man won, and here it's just like oh and
also I hear voices in my head. I'm like you
do oh.
Speaker 2: And in Spider Man, like there was this this evil
half of Norman Osbourne was kind of a logical extension
of his normal self where he was angry against the
board for firing him and everything. So this is like,
why don't you get back at them? Take your goblins suit.
But here it's like I want to regrow my arm.
What if you turn everyone into the wizards? Yeah, it
doesn't really fully track, And it's also.
Speaker 1: Like a little bit like the Arms and making Doctor
Octopus do like bad stuff too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but even there, it's like he's obsessed with this
project and the Arms. All they do is heighten that
and basically get rid of the moral Yeah. Basically you
could do the ends, justify the means, do whatever it takes.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But yeah, here it's just quite a leap too. He's
just whacky and crazy.
Speaker 1: Yep. It's like Spider Man can beat me up, I
gotta go eat him. Yeah, that's pretty much.
Speaker 2: And turn the entire world into lizards. You'd be much
happier as a lizard, trust me.
Speaker 1: So he breaks out of a toilet and they cut
out a scene where he gets in a couple of
girl's face, But it wasn't a bunch of the teasers.
Speaker 2: When he starts taunting them with like his tongue, I'm
thinking it.
Speaker 1: Was the right move to carry so the deleted scene,
it's clear they had the actor on set like licking
his tongue, and then they did the CGI, but they
never finished compositing it. So you see the lizard licking
his tongue, but then you see the human's tongue in
like the other shot. It was really gross. Pops out
of the bathroom and he's hunting for Peter. Uh. And
they fight in the school. Uh, he's webbing them up
and everything. Gwen tries to help by hitting him with
a trophy whatever.
Speaker 2: Is the Mortal is Mortal Kombat again? When Goro shows up,
Daughters like kicking him in the shins.
Speaker 1: Uh. Yeah, Spider Man webs him up and then tosses, uh,
what's her face out of window? Oh? Is this also
the stupid Someone's been a bad lizard? Oh yeah, yeah,
a little like flex so dumb.
Speaker 2: So I feel like though, that is something that would
be in the comic, And I think you're more forgiving
when you're reading on the page. Yeah, and then when
it said out loud, you're like, sounds pretty dumb.
Speaker 1: Actually I did kind of like how the tail broke
off and it was still wiggling. Yeah, they're fighting and
Stanley cameo, right, that was kind of a cute cameo
where they he's like listening with big headphones of music
and you see, like what do we call it, Spider
Spider Man, the lizard attacking and throwing things around the room.
Lizard leaves. Yes, Actually there was a scene where he
turns back and Spider Man brings him back to his layer,
which would have been the end of that other the
Oscorp guy storyline who tries to shoot the lizard, the
lizard kills him, lizard gets away with all the That's
when Peter would have learned his plan and everything, because
he would have told him that guy would have died.
And then they kind of suggest that Pete there was
a reason Peter was able to survive the bite. I
think all that got cut. Yes, Instead, Peter just goes
down there and there's a little computer up where with
his vlog. Yeah, there was like a flog in his computer.
He's like, ah, lizards, everyone be lizards. I'm gonna use that.
Speaker 2: Thing they step one turn everyone into lizards that profit.
Speaker 1: So yeah, while he's doing this, he told Gwen to
go to Oscorp and make an antidote because he could
just whip one of those you know how to make antidotes? Yes, okay, yeah,
make an anidote for a human lizard hybrid. I'm like,
what the fuck's like?
Speaker 2: They can just spin up antidotes like this, yeah, but
they can't figure out how.
Speaker 1: And then we get the classic lab coat uh lizard look,
which I don't know why he keeps putting lab coats
on when he knows he's gonna turn into the lizard
and they're just gonna shred. But this would have made
sense because like the last we saw the lizard, he
wasn't wearing one. He got away, but with that deleted
scene we see he turned into a human. He put
another one on to talk to Peter. So it's just
it's just funny that he's just randomly wearing the lab coat. Yeah,
I don't know why he didn't wear it more. That's
such an iconic thing as the lizard in the lab coat.
Speaker 2: It's probably in the CGI budget to make realistic fabric
like that.
Speaker 1: Whatever. But yeah, the cops like just shoot the hell
out of him and then he sprays them with lizard juice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he turns him onto lizards. I don't see them
again after that.
Speaker 1: We see them when they're being cured.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I thought they would play into it. Now
he's got a fighting yeah.
Speaker 1: Cut back to them going like their tongues are all.
Speaker 2: And this is when it becomes like total over the
top comic stuff, like again like what it does to
a human body to turn into a lizard monster? Yeah,
and then turn back like half an hour later like
those Yeah.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Uh, he's had it right toward Oscorp. And
Peter's like, when I know I told you to go
to Oscorp, but get out of there. The lizard's headed there.
She's like, I'm making the antidote. What the how am
I supposed to do? And then for some reason they're like,
hey Captain Spacey, uh Spacey, Stacy.
Speaker 2: I keep saying, Kevin Spacey, when needs your health?
Speaker 1: Hey Kevin Spacey, it's twenty fourteen or twenty twelve. You're
not canceled yet. House of Cards is coming out. Uh No,
they go, hey, Captain Stacy, this giant lizard that attacked
your daughter's school and try to eat everyone. It's spreading
a biological weapon that's turning people into lizards, and Captain
Stacy's like, gotta get Spider Man. Let's focus on Spider Man.
Get my helicopter. We're hunting down Spider Man. Like, did
you not hear anything?
Speaker 2: But just wait, the lizard could spray all that lizard
stuff in the air nless he had some kind of
Ganali device. You're not gonna believe it's Kevin Spacey, but.
Speaker 1: So yeah, uh, they taste Spider Man while he's swinging around.
He webs up a bunch of the cops so they
can't see this. He reveals himself as Spider Man. Like
Captain Stacey has him like a gun point. He takes
his mask off when he's like, Peter, it's you, and
he's like, yeah, and you gotta let me go because
that lizard's gonna kill your daughter. And he's like, well,
just so full of emotions right now. But yeah, I
guess the Captain's like, all right, go get him Tiger.
I wish he said that. Great. Uh. The lizard breaks
into Oscorp and grabs the canon. I do like that.
He opens his mouth to like smell, because like lizards
will use their tongues to pick up scent in the air,
and they also just open their mouth to like eventilate
and like cool themselves down sometimes, but that was like
it was fun seeing him and do like a lizard thing. Yeah.
But yeah, he finds Stacey in like her closet and
she shoots him with like a flamethrower and he's like, okay,
I'm gone. Yeah, it was weird. I think so many
people were critical of Mary Jane and the other films
just constantly needing to be rescued, and they're like, this
girl's tough, she can take care of her own. It's like, yeah,
but it's not impressive when the bad guy goes, oh,
all right bye and I walks away. Okay, So Spider
Man injured his leg at some point right.
Speaker 2: In one of the captain Stacey is like, let him go,
hold your fire and then one of the Overzel's cops
shoots Spider Man leg.
Speaker 1: Okay, so he shot in the leg and somehow this
makes it hard to swing on building. I hate this
scene so much because they're like Spider Man, I don't
think he's gonna make it in time, Like could he
just like get in a car, could a cop car drive? Hey?
That helicopter they have.
Speaker 2: They're trying to do the scene that was done in
Spider Man one all throwing trash at the Green Goblin. Yeah,
or the scene from Spider Man Too where they get
in the way of doc oc.
Speaker 1: Like the New Yorkers come together.
Speaker 2: But we can't repeat those movies, so we have to
in the most weird, convoluted way, have a bunch of
New Yorkers help Spider Man. So it turns out the
guy he saved on the bridge like works in construction
and knows all the crane guys, so he's like, we
need to line up a bunch of cranes. So Spider
Man has a straight shot to os Corp.
Speaker 1: Tower and soul Man is there leading the charge. But
it's like it's I'm like, would that help? Like he can?
He can?
Speaker 2: So I guess he could swing there, like there's all
these buildings. Yeah, but instead of aiming this way and
zig Zag can aim straight, it's like you got shot
in the leg, so you can't point that way. It's
just it's weird enough that it is distracting when I watch.
It's supposed to be this overwhelming we're all coming together moment,
and I'm like, but would that really help?
Speaker 1: And then help the bullet he webs up the bulletoinn
and then he's fine, yeah, and does that help? But
like there was a news helicopter. Couldn't he have just
been like, hey, swing me over there. So clunky, it's
so bad, and you're right, it's they're trying to imitate
those moments and it's just falling flat. Ye. And then
he's doing all these complicated like twists and twirls in
the air. It's like, not if your leg is injured,
like I thought, we're supposed to care about your leg being.
I don't think he needed to help.
Speaker 2: It's like once they set up all the cranes, he
was like, I guess I'll use the cranes make everybody.
Speaker 1: There help me. I'm glad to see Thomas Hall got
a small part in this though. But yeah, lizard loads
up the device and then Spider Man shows up in
the fight for a bit. Uh, and then this is weird.
The Lizard's like poor Peter Parker, no father, no mother,
no uncle, all alone. I wanted to be like except
for aunt May. Yeah, gwent Stacy. Yeah yeah, I mean
the lizard might not know about Gwen's stacy, true really,
but oh yeah, I'm sorry he doesn't know about Aunt
May because that deleted scene he never went into Peter's house.
There was a deleted scene where after Ben's funeral, Connors
is outside the house and he's like, look, the mouse
has four legs. Now, please come back to Oscorp. Sorry,
your uncle died. But yeah, I guess he. I guess
he just doesn't know about Aunt Meg because he's like
all alone. I wanted to be like, well, it's got
that ant listen.
Speaker 2: It's also just like he's it's such an evil thing
to say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm like, well that's just classic lizards. But
the love humiliating other lizards, lack of family.
Speaker 2: From his perspective, he's doing the right thing, like he's
trying to help humanity. Yeah, so, but he's never like
pleading his case, like Peter, this will help everyone.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Instead it's like you're all alone, you big loser.
Speaker 1: But Captain Stacy saves the day. He's like, he's not alone.
Me who hates him, is here to save it. But
the bomb goes off and they were able to switch
it with the antidote, and all the lizard people are
turned normal. And I don't know what the antidote does
to people who weren't affected. I don't know, never gets explored.
So yeah, lizard starts to turn back into what we
call it connors.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: The whole tower like fucking falls off of Odscorp because
there was like liquid cooling or something liquid nitrogen. Yeah,
which I don't I don't think that's how that works.
But yeah I saw a terminator too. It's exactly. It
falls off the tower. It like completely shatters, right. Who
knows how many people died down there, but yeah, he's
able to save him, and then his arm like just
starts to fall off. He's like, wait, my other arm.
Speaker 2: He had to switch arms to the attached Peter. He's
like ah.
Speaker 1: And then this shot of him turning back into a
human was recycled in no way home shots Captain Stacy,
who's dying because he got like stabs.
Speaker 2: Right, So when when Spider Man went up to swap
out the poison with the antidote Qwen, Stacy's dad was
holding off the lizard. Yeah, but that only worked for
so long. Started regrowing his limbs and he stabbed yea,
Captain Stacy.
Speaker 1: So he's dying. He's like, look, you gotta you're gonna
be a hero. You're gonna make a lot of enemies
or something. I know this because I'm a cop. I
read the comics. I read the comics. He's like, you're
gonna make a lot of enemies, And all I ask
is you keep Gwen out of it. So, yes, teenage
boy with raging hormones who's currently courting smoking hot Emma
Stone stay away from her.
Speaker 2: Like he really wanted her to stay away. He should
have been like, I want you to marry my daughter,
like push it really hard. And then all of a sudden,
Peter by feel so uncool.
Speaker 1: Reverse psychology. He wasn't thinking straight. He was bleeding out
because he was stabed by a lizard. So yeah he uh,
he dies, and Peter's all sad. He's crying on top
of the thing. They have a funeral and Peter attends
but doesn't really go to it's watching from afar. Yeah,
the guy who feels guilty like the Punisher and war Zone,
which I mean it would have been awkward if the
killer of the guy was just there at the funeral, like, yeah, here,
I am my bad what what? Yeah? Something's saying to me?
But yeah, she goes. She like gets mad at him.
She's like, I can't believe you didn't come to the funeral.
How dare you? Uh? And then she leaves and aunt
May's like that's a nice girl. Why don't you go
after He's like I can't. She's like, go get late.
She doesn't know the context of everything. I know.
Speaker 2: It's like you're recapping in a very flippant tone. But
I mean in terms of the stuff I liked in
the movie, Yeah, this all worked for me, like the drama.
Speaker 1: Of like why works.
Speaker 2: You're there for me, even Flash Thompson was there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then like this, I get what they're doing.
They're doing the end of the first movie, he's like, Nope,
my relate, my vigilanteism got the people I cared about.
Speaker 2: Her with the gratuitous voice over, yeah once I love
will always suffer.
Speaker 1: Yes, but uh, he's trying. They're trying to do that again.
And then he listens to Uncle Ben's voicemail finally, which
again was way too sentimental for the headspace that he
was in.
Speaker 2: And I remember the first time I saw this, I
was like, oh, on the voicemail, they're gonna do the
great power, Great Responsibility line for sure.
Speaker 1: He just keeps dancing around it. No, uh but yeah,
then it's like, okay, he's got to learn responsibility, right,
he's gotta make sure he's gonna honor that dead man's wishes.
He's gonna do the hard thing and said it ends
where he's all like, I'm gonna break that promise. So
I'm like that one of the ahisshole so fucking stupid.
Like obviously they're gonna get back together because they have to,
you know, drop her off a high thing to kill her.
But like that right now, like that was like kind
of like, to be honest, you learn nothing.
Speaker 2: I liked it how they kind of play like they
didn't get back together, but obviously he left the window open,
the door open that they might because the teacher he
shows up late to class and the teachers like, you're
late again. He's like, I promise it won't happen again,
and she's like promises are only worthwhile if they're not broken,
or like promise whatever promises you never break, and then.
Speaker 1: Peter's like, but those are the best kind. I loved it.
I actually like that.
Speaker 2: I would a sucker for that for me. The the
romantic drama buried under this movie. Yeah, I actually enjoyed.
Like the chemistry read between Garfield and mm A Stone,
I thought all that worked very well.
Speaker 1: I just I just thought that was like, oh, he's
learning a lesson. He's gonna have to do the hard thing.
But it would have been broken. It's not like he
learned it early on and then he broke it at
the end, Like I know everyone gets mad at like
Superman bringing Low's laying back to life, but like he
learns about the non interfering with history early on, right,
and then the power of love whatever. At the end
he ignores his father's wishes, but like he just made
this promise.
Speaker 2: They try to get past it with like you've got
a bit of a montage. He turns her away a
few times, and then his aunt May tells him, like
you're good, Peter, you could be with her. And then
Uncle Ben from beyond the grave is telling him like
the voicemail you might meet a girl one day, Quinn,
you should be with her, the girl from her computer.
Like they I feel like it would have been unsatisfying
and just like a bummer to end on the note
of like that's it.
Speaker 1: They're not together, So I.
Speaker 2: Feel like trying to straddle the line of like they're
not back together, but there's a hint they might get there.
Speaker 1: Yea.
Speaker 2: To me, it's like I think it hit the right note. Yeah,
but I mean yeah, to be.
Speaker 1: Fair, Yeah, he could just promise a dying man in
five minutes later. It just makes him seem like an asshole. Really,
and I just don't like the Spider Man. Uh. But yeah,
he swings away in three D a scene that's clearly
meant for three D, like he's going through like the
Greats and everything. He's shooting webs at the camp.
Speaker 2: Just a moment like where his leg is like way up. Yeah,
it's doing one of like the crazy poses you see
he's doing, then.
Speaker 1: Going a slow motion. It's really it was just to
put it in the trailer, but it did look cool.
I thought it was cool. I yes, it looked fine. Uh,
I can't he give the movie a little bit of credit? Sorry.
Then we get like a mid teaser credit or something
where the con the lizard is in prison and then
a man with a hat questions him if Peter knows
the truth about his father, and then he goes no,
and then he goes stay away from Peter Parker. I
got a human brain again and I care and that'll
set up for nothing. Actually it'll set up for nothing.
Gil And that was the amazing Spider Man. Uh, don't
care for it, one might say, not so amazing. It's yeah,
thank you Adam does movie. Yeah, it is not held up.
And I know people who just were unhappy with Sam
Raemy Spider Man were kind of like lifting this up.
It's funny. We used to like like the new thing
despite the old thing, and now we're loving the old
thing despite the new thing. It's like a new thing
that's happening.
Speaker 2: No, it's like, I think there were things in the
movie that were done well, but at the end of
the day, if you add it all up, it is
just a very bland movie. It's got some dumb stuff
in it, but really the main issue is just it's
not engaging.
Speaker 1: No. Yeah, it's stuff we've all kind of seen before
in those other three. It didn't really rewrite the Wheel,
as we say I did that. I made that flub
like three years ago. There's one fan who brings it
up in every review, every comment section. It's like, yeah,
I really rewrote the Wheel like at that one time. Yeah,
it just offered nothing new and It's like, why are
we even making this? I think there were some people
who mistakenly thought that this was going to be worked
into The Avengers. Oh, even though it was it, they
thought maybe.
Speaker 2: I remember one of that there was a trailer that
had the Avengers Tower in the background as just like
an easter egg. That might honestly, that might have been
like Morbius or something. I can't remember.
Speaker 1: Oh, Morbius had the Oscorp from this building trailer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Morbius had easter eggs from every iteration of
Spider Man were in the trailer. Yeah, there's a Daily
Bugle logo in the Sam Raimi movies. There's Oscorp Tower
from Area Garfield, and there's spray Paint, which is the
Sam Raimi suit but the one that was featured in
the PS four video game.
Speaker 1: And it says Murderer implying that it might take place
in the Tom Holland universe. And then all of that
was just the trailer. None of it made it into
the movie. That was so funny. Uh, But yeah, I
this was just like a total nothing. It was bland.
It was boring. When I was revisiting all these movies
for No Way Home, after I was done, I did
the commentary tracks with movie Dumpster, but after that I
was just like, I feel like I could have just
skipped these there's just nothing here. I don't know why
people pretended to like them so much, and I don't
and I feel like a lot of people just didn't
see them. Yeah. So when No Way, when we said
no Way home came out, when they were like, yeah,
Andrew Garfield greens like, Nope, No, he's not.
Speaker 2: If you look at it through rose colored glasses. The
thing you might remember is that Andrew Garfield is a
great actor. Yeah, and so is im a stone Yeah,
and so I think if you take away everything in
this movie, the characterization of Peter Parker, if you don't
care for it, at the end of the day, when
those important moments come, I do think he sells it. Yeah,
but it's just in the context of a lot of
other stuff that's very easy to forget.
Speaker 1: Maybe you only remember the good parts. Yeah, yeah, but yeah,
let us know what you think. Do you still like
this movie? Why? Let us know if you do, have
you have? Has it gotten worse for you? Like it's
gotten worse for me? Let let me know. And Gil,
where can we find you. You can find me in
two places.
Speaker 2: Go to YouTube dot com slash one take vis if
you want to see a recap of all the Spider
Man movies in preparation for Spiderman Brand New Day. But
if you don't want recaps and summaries and timelines, go
over to YouTube dot com. Slash at Gil explains movies
for analysis, reviews, and commentary, primarily on horror movies. Yes,
which hopefully in Brand New Day might be a horror
movie with the body horror. He's turning into a giant spider.
Speaker 1: That'll be the second Man Spider. We got this here
because there was one for like a second in Spider Noir.
Oh did not get to that. I'm check out his
Spider Noir review. Check out my Spider Noir review where
I got all dressed up for it and then I
immediately had to take it off because the black mask
and the goggles, I couldn't see anything. I tried.
Speaker 2: There's that viral video of a guy dressed up as
Spider Man and then he jumps into a pool. I
guess he didn't realize like I just accidentally waterboarded myself
and he starts to like suffocate see you in the middle,
in the middle of the review you send me can't breathe.
Speaker 1: But yeah, check all that out. Please follow me on
Patreon if you want to. You get the free podcast here,
you get all the free videos, and yeah, follow my socials.
See where I'm going to be this year pretty sure
before this is before I go to the Rochester Comedy
Festival July nineteenth for The Street Fighter the movie, the screening,
and I'll be at VHS Fest. Actually this might be
after VHS Fest, or maybe it's right before. Follow my
socials so you'll know where I'll be. And yeah, like,
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