Speaker 1: Hello listeners, and welcome to season seven of Underwood and Flinch.
As you know, this is an ongoing podcast over at Patreon,
where I write and podcast a new chapter every month,
so it's a work in progress, you know, rather than
a finished work that I podcast when I've completed the
whole writing process of each novel. And so with this
particular part of the saga, what we're now calling season seven,
over the course of writing and podcasting it, it underwent
a couple of name changes. It even underwent being a
couple of separate novels, before finally ending up with the single,
all encompassing title of season seven, The Devil of Claverton,
which for you is the good news. All of my
figuring out what to call it and what to actually
include in it is over and done with, and all
you've got to do is just stay subscribed and listen
to each episode as I release them here in this feed.
But if you do become a patron at Patreon, just
know that when you get there, you will hear me
call it by different names at different times as the
work evolved. It's a bit confusing, you know, if you
don't know that in advance, but you do so we're
all good, okay. So then with that said and out
of the way, let's get straight into our story, shall we.
Let's rewind okay, So before we resume our tale, let's
have a quick recap of the big takeaways, if you like.
From the last episode of Underwood and Flinch Underground, the
master vampire was revealed to be none other than Henry Verlaine,
Underwood's old pirate's nemesis from way back when he was
still human. Verlaine was with Lydia, and he told Underwood
that he would hold her for Underwood to pass judgment
for the crime she has committed against him. Verlaine and Lydia,
both of whom a vampires, were out in the full
glare of the sun without so much as a mild
case of sunburn, and we learned that Coleridge, Claire Redmond's boss,
was not only working for Verlaine, but that he too
was a vampire. And it was on that little nest
of bombshells that I left you. At the end of
Underwood Flinch Underground, Ladies and gentlemen, in the final scene,
we saw Underwood, Flinch, and Claire Redmond all summoned to
meet with Verlaine in Florida. The three of them were
seated in the back of the same car, despite Coleridge's
wish for them to travel in separate ones to be
taken to a private plane and thence on to Florida.
When we last saw them, they were driving off as
part of a convoy of three black SUVs, one of
which contained Coleridge, with marked police cars driving at front
and rear. And shortly after then that we now rejoined them. Oh,
it's been a crazy night, and each of them has
a great many things to think about. Why they barely
even notice as you and I squashing beside them to
buckle in and join them on the ride into the
Underwood and Flinch saga written and performed for podcast by
Mike Bennett, Season seven, The Devil of Claverton, Episode one.
This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Listener discretion
is advised. They rode in silence through the awakening streets
of London, Underwood and Redmond staring out of their respective
side windows, and David staring between the two front seats,
his eyes on the back of the black suv ahead
of them, though he didn't see it. His attention like
that of Underwood, and Redmond was directed inward towards his thoughts.
None of them noticed as the city streets gave way
to motorway, nor when the motorway gave way to country roads.
It wasn't until their vehicle and the other SUVs split
off from the marked police cars that had been driving
in front and at the rear of the convoy that
David resurfaced. They were driving through a forest and the
trio of black cars was turning off onto a side road. Hello,
he said, something's up. I imagine we've reached our destination,
said Underwood. Sure enough. A short while later they stopped
at a road barrier. The driver of the car ahead
of them spoke to a uniformed man in the booth,
who nodded and raised the barrier for them to drive on. Then,
after a short way, the road took them out from
the trees and onto the wide concrete expanse of a
small aerodrome. In the overcast twilight, David saw the dark
shapes of two small aircraft hangars. In front of one
was parked a small twin propeller aircraft, but they weren't
turning in that direction. They were driving out unto what
he presumed must be the runway. From his position in
the middle of the back seat, his view ahead was limited.
He couldn't see through the black tinted windows of the
car in front of them, nor could he see anything
out of the side windows. But Underwood, his head craned
close to the window and beering ahead, now spotted something.
My goodness, he murmured, what said David? Underwood tapped his
window as they turned to flank the aircraft waiting for
them on the runway that David's eyes widened at the
sight of a sleek private jet, the open door at
the front of the fuselage and seven porthole windows along
its length aglow with a warm, welcoming light. I guess
that must be our ride, he said, glancing around. Veline said,
we'd be taking a private jet and I can't see
any others anywhere. Is that normal, said Underwood? What traveling
by private jet? Oh? God, no, no one does that
except millionaires and big business types. No, I mean the
plane itself. Is that what they look like nowadays? Oh? Well, yeah,
at least a private jets too. But I had jet
airliners back in her fifties, didn't they well, the Air
Force had jets, but civilian flat was almost exclusively propeller powered.
The BOAC had a jet power thing called the Comet,
but I avoided it, like the plague, had an unfortunate
tendency to crash. So what was the last plane that
you flew in? DC three Dakota? The name meant nothing
to David, but he recalled black and white movie tone
news footage of aircraft of the time, and one in
particular that often had paratroopers jumping out of it. Oh, right,
was that the old twin prop job that was in
the war, Yes, David smiled. Well, I thought I was
getting an upgrade. This thing's going to blow your mind.
What do you mean by that? Underwood had never heard
the phrase before, originating as it did in the hippy
era of the nineteen sixties. I mean it's going to
be like a big improvement. Underwood considered this latest odd
addition to his vocabulary as the car slowed down and stopped.
Here we go, then, said David, bracing himself for the unknown.
I wonder what they're going to do about it's not
of him passports. Without turning from her window, Claire replied, somehow,
I don't think they'll be required. What because this is
all sort of a criminal Yes, it's sort of criminal.
Then Clare's and Underwood's doors were opened simultaneously by mercenaries,
and Coleridge's smiling face appeared in Underwood's doorway. Here we are,
my lord. It's a fine morning for flying. Rain stopped,
but there's still plenty of cloud up there, so no
need for any solar precautions. He stepped back and outstretched
his arm to the waiting plane. Underwood got out of
the car. The morning air was fresh, ironized with the
recent rainfall, and he took a deep breath through his
nose before turning to the east, where a heavy cumulus
nimbus cloudscape sank to a molten red horizon. Odd, he murmured, and,
squinting at the light, extended an open palm towards the
shrouded sunrise. You're right, asked David, getting out to stand
beside him. Yes, it's just normally it it feels hotter.
One can feel it, you know, it's painful on the skin. Ah, well,
that'll be the gas you inhaled, my lord, said Coleridge.
It doesn't just take away the ability to change your form.
It also takes the sting out of the sun's rays.
Underwood turned to him. You mean to say, I'm now
like Verlaine on that boat of his. Oh, good heavens, no,
Coleridge chuckled. The Master, like myself, is fully immunized. I
suppose you could say, whereas you've just had a first dose,
first dose of what? Diurnal? Diurnal? Yes, that's the brand
name they use. It's a medicine, I suppose, just like
the blood pressure pills I used to take when I
was still human. Comes in the same sort of packaging,
little blister packs, you know, pop one out every day,
even as the days of the week written on it,
so you don't accidentally miss one. A medicine against the sun. Yes,
Coleridge's eyes slid to where Claire now joined them, flanked
on one side by a mercenary who held her by
her uninjured upper arm. We have some of all the
plane if you'd like to start using them today. The
Master thought you might like to get out into the
sun as soon as possible. But this medicine also takes
away my ability to change my form. Correct, yes, correct,
But I'm sure you'll agree it's a small price to pay.
I mean to be able to walk in the sunshine
once again, to regain the daylight hours after a may
I ask you how many years it's been since you
were tired? No, you may not, though, suffice it to
say it's been longer than your master. And don't you
forget it. What about blood, Claire asked Coleridge. How do
you manage to feed without arousing suspicion? Oh, we have
a drink, a food supple that, if you like, called
Sangua Vita. That's another brand name. One day all this
stuff will be sold in pharmacies and shops around the world,
But for now we have to get it mail order
direct from the company, with the company being another of
your master's little enterprises, I suppose, said Underwood. Yes, my lord,
amilis pharmaceutical. It's an anagram mallias. Yes, I know you
say this strength is a food supplement, said David. Can
you be more specific? Well, the pharmaceutical industry has been
trying for some time to come up with a synthetic
alternative to human blood, you know what with the unpredictable
reliability of human donors for blood transfusions operations and the like,
especially in disaster zones and war zones. Amelis Pharmaceutical are
leading the world in this research, and their current best
product is the basis for Sanguavita. It's not perfect, so
it's not yet available to hospitals, but it is good
enough to get vampires like me through a busy day.
I have some of the concentrate form in my office,
although I have to keep it in an old bottle
of strawberry rybina to avoid embarrassing questions. He chuckled, as
if accustomed to telling this in circles where it usually
got to laugh, though now, on seeing not a flicker
of amusement among his present audience, he shrugged and went on,
as long as I have my glass at lunchtime, I
can get through the day just fine. David wasn't sure
how to feel about this. On the one hand, the
fact that vampires were looking at an alternative to human
blood as sustenance was good news. But what Coleridge had
said about this alternative being on sale around the world
that implied surely that there was going to be a
global demand for it, which begged the question just how
many vampires were there out there? Vampires like Colerain who
appeared to be just like any human going about their
daily business. It was a chilling thought, he was about
to ask, but Underwood spoke before he could. Synthetic blood
sounds vile. Oh no, it's really very nice. You should
try some. There's some on the plane if you. If
it's only a supplement, said Claire, what's it supplementing? Ah? Yes, well,
I have a housekeeper, young lady from the Ukraine, Kattia,
her name is. She's an absolute godsend. Coleridge smiled. In
more ways than one. You mean you feed on her.
I only need a little a large wineglass and day
will do. But sometimes in the event I need more,
I'll eat out, so to speak. But I never kill anyone.
I just take a pint or so. Claire spat in
his face. You fucking parasite. You disgust me, I say,
steady on, inspector, said Underwood. Chap's only doing what nature intended.
Nature didn't intend you. You're something unnatural, something from hell.
Underwood rolled his eyes. Oh if only I had a
penny for every time I have heard that old chestnut.
Claire's retort was cut off by a woman's voice calling
from the direction of the plane. Bonjieur, Chief Superintendent, I
see you have brought our guests. Everyone turned to where
an elegantly dressed black couple now approached. Ah, Coleridge said,
with a smile, Bon dieur Celeste and Claude, Bon dieur, Monsieur.
Claude nodded as they came over to join them. Good morning,
Chief Superintendant. How did it go with the flinch woman,
asked Coleridge. I heard all about it from the master
saw on the video tablet, thinking that she's arrived safe
and sound. She was no trouble at all, said Celeste.
I am told that once she will coup on the plane.
She was most pleasant. I hope I will be able
to say the same about your companions here, since we
will be accompanying them on the flight. As she spoke,
her eyes rested unwaveringly upon Underwood. Coleridge, remembering his manners,
raised a hand to present Underwood. Ah, yes, of course
you haven't met. This is his lordship, Lord Daniel Underwood.
With a smile, Underwood took Celeste's proffered hand, lifted it
to his lips, and kissed it lightly. On Chantai, mademoiselle,
you speak French. My lord, we natural man. Then I
look forward to chatting with you later. Claude and I
will be your host's sons a flight. Our job is
to escort you to Zumasta and answer any questions you
may have. Underwood arched an eyebrow. I think you mean
you're the security guard, Celeste smiled. I'm sure that won't
be necessary. We are told you are compliant. No, oh, yes, compliant,
that's me to tea. I say, pardon me, but you're
a vampire, aren't you. I caught the scent from your hand,
though it's not as clear as perhaps mine is. To you,
I presume you must be taking this diurnal product that
Coleridge has been telling us all about we natural more as.
I am sure you will also, my lord. It's very
liberating or restricting, depending on how you look at it. Ah,
you refer to the metamorphic abilities. I think you will
find that in our evolved world, saya as the uh
She tapped her throat. How do you say, lessay, migdail.
Underwood shook his head. I'm sorry, my French already fails me. Toncils,
said Claude. Ah, yes, said Celeste. Saya as the tonsils.
Once they are gone, you will not miss them. And incidentally,
this is Claude, my guardian. Underwood and Claude shook hands,
and Underwood introduced them to David and Redmond. Then Celeste
gestured to the plane. Bon where's then? Shall we go aboard?
I'm sure you and your friends must be tired. You
can say that again, said David, as they started towards
the plane. I'm wrecked. I'm sure you will fancy aircraft.
Very comfortable, mister flinch, what may I call you? David? Sure?
Please do. Coleridge, whom everyone appeared to have forgotten, cleared
his throat loudly, er ah, well, la ah bid you
bon voyage. Then he looked at Claire, and despite the
confident smile that set the lower half of his face,
she saw something else in his eyes. Was it regret,
perhaps worry for her safety, perhaps shame? She couldn't tell.
He nodded a farewell to her. Good luck, Claire, don't worry.
The Master's a decent sort, really, and he knows how
much I He looked away for a moment, as though
afraid she might see his apparent weakness. Well that I'm
your godfather, and that we're or rather we were, She
cut him off. We're nothing, Coleridge. I'd rather your master
kill me a thousand times than have him spare me
as a favor to you. It's easy to say that now, Claire,
but just buried in mind, all right. Claire turned and
walked away from him. David waited for her a few
feet away with Claude. She caught up with them, and
they walked together after Underwood and Celeste to the playing steps.
David looked aside at her and said, I'm sorry for
what he's your godfather. Sorry, I couldn't help over here.
Were you close? No, he nodded. Still sucks that he's
become one of He noticed Claude was paying attention, so
he changed his choice of words. That he's not the
money was. He's made his choice, said Claire. He'll have
to live with the consequences or die from them. She
too saw Claude listening and looked him in the eye
when she added, which she will by my hand. Claude smiled, amused,
but said nothing. The plane had an inbuilt set of
stairs lowered from the front side door to the tarmac.
Steward and stewardess waited for them at the bottom of
the steps, and another stewardess at the top just inside
the plane. They were young, attractive and all smiles. Welcome aboard,
my Lord, said the steward My name is Tim, and
this is Shawna. The stewardess beside him gave a small curtsey.
Tim then held a hand to the stewardess at the
top of the stairs. My other colleague here is Gabriella.
We are all at your service. Very good. Underwood looked
at them in turn and asked, oh, which of you
is my breakfast? I was told there would be food
on the plane, or we are all trained feeders, my lord? Feeders?
You mean you're all on the menu? Yes, said Celeste,
as I'm sure you're well aware, my Lord it is
better to take a little from trees than a lot
from one. Oh yes, yes, of course, jolly good. He
turned back to David. Did you hear that flinch trained
feeders beats that don't a blood transfusion idea of yours? What?
I imagine that's something we'd have to ask them, my Lord,
said David. I know which I'd prefer, and it's certainly
not you sucking on my jugular. Underward chuckled and held
out a hand to the steps for Celeste. After you,
my dear. Celeste returned the gesture, No, please, after you. Ah. Yes,
all gender equality now, isn't it. Underwood turned again to David.
Conchita was telling me all about it on our journey
up from Spain. It'll take me a while, but I'm
sure I'll get the hang of it, And with that
he trotted up the stairs and onto the plane. Underwood
and Flinch continues after the break. Would you like a
tour of the aircraft, my lord asked Gabriella. She was
Latina and spoke with a soft accent. Or would you
prefer to be seated immediately? No? No, please show us around, Gabriella.
He turned to David and made a sweeping hand gesture
to indicate the plane around them. I'm getting one of
these sod hiring auto caravaners from now on. Have you
ever seen the like? No, my lord, I've always flown
strictly economy, though not by choice. David followed Underwood, Claire
following behind him. Celestein Claude waited back at the entrance,
talking to Tim and Shawna. Our aircraft is the gulf
Stream G five point fifty, said Gabriella as she led
them into the cabin. In this area you can relax
and have the meetings. She stepped between a pair of
seats facing each other, and from the polished wood trim
drew out a folding table of matching wood. Here you
have a table. She deftly slid the table back into
its stowed location, then pressed a button. A small flat
television screen popped up. And here we have the personal TV,
one for each passenger. Head sets are in here. She
pressed down on another part of the wood trim and
it opened to reveal a small storage space and a
panel of buttons. You can select your entertainment here, and
you also have a personal remote control. She drew a
remote from its slot and showed it to them. Very nice,
said Underwood. These two seats can be opened out and
joined together to make a very comfortable bed. This occasioned
puzzled looks from both Underwood and David, so she added,
don't worry, we will make up the beds for you
whenever you require. Gabriella then led them into the second partition,
where two sofas faced one another across the aisle. Mounted
on the wall over one was a large flat screen
plasma TV sofas for relaxing. Very comfortable for the vampire
dining requirements, my lord, as obviously you and your companion
can recline. They also become beds. She then passed into
the third section of the cabin. Here were four seats
facing each other over a polished wood dining table that
was fixed to the floor. And this is the human
dining area, where we serve more conventional but very delicious cuisine.
While through here she pointed into the last section of
the cabin are the passenger bathrooms. The one on the
left is fitted with the shower, and the area beyond
is the crew seating and foot preparation area. She turned
to them with a smile. Do you have any questions, sorry,
said David. You said there's a shower on the plane, Yes, sir,
for us. Of course, she had noticed how dirty they were.
David his clothes and skin grimed with gray dust from
the old witch ventilation shaft and underwood, wearing the gore
splattered black jumpsuit and boots he'd taken from a dead mercenary.
I imagine you would like to use it. No, David
could hardly believe such a thing was possible. God, yes, please,
then as soon as we are underway, please feel free.
What about Underwood started, but then trailed off. No, no,
stupid of me, my lord, clothes. I was wondering if
you might have some sort of wardrobe on board. But
that's silly, isn't it? Not at all? For the vampire,
these things are very important when flying. All it takes
is a little turbulence during feeding, and there is blood everywhere.
Using a hand, she mimed blood spurting from her neck,
and then the outfit is ruined, the meeting with the
humans delayed or even canceled. The whole flight will have
been a waste of time, precisely, said Underwood, impressed. And
look at this thing, he gestured to his outfit, the
blood stains, the clotted brain matter on his shoulder. Yes,
you went through more than a little turbulence here, I think,
she smiled. But don't worry. I think we have something
in your size. So you do have a wardrobe, of course,
I say, Underwood beamed. Bravo, gabriella. Not to me, my lord.
It is all the Master's doing hm. Underwood shrugged. Yes, well,
I won't be loading him just yet. But still I
have to say he certainly thought of everything. I guess
that's why he's a master and not the same boy,
I said David. Underwood ignored him and asked Gabriella when
he'd be able to feed. You can have something to
eat once we are underwey, my lord, or if you
are hungry now, I can fix you a glass of sanguevita. Sanguevita,
you mean the stuff Coleridge was talking about, the fake
blood concentrate. I don't know what this Collridge has told you,
but on this plane we only serve sanguevita superior. What's
happening at home? It is the best there is, not
to concentrate variety, but the closest thing to real human blood,
thus far invented, but still fake. It is synthetic. Yes, hmm.
Underwood wrinkled his nose. Now, I don't think so. Oh,
go on, my lord, said David. You're bound to try
it sooner or later might as well be now. Underwood
considered for a moment, then sighed, ah, how I suppose
you're right, flinch. How does one take this sanguavit, Gabriella.
Is it served at body temperature if that is your preference,
my lord, yes, please, an excellent choice. Gabriella turned her
dazzling smile on to David and Claire. And for you,
sir madam, I'll have a coffee, please, said David Black.
No sugar, just a glass of water, said Claire. Very good.
Please take your seats and i'll bring them down to you.
Whereabout should we sit, asked David. Wherever you like. I'm
sure i'll manage to find you. She gave him a
wink to show she was joking. Underwood led David back
to the first partition so they could sit down opposite
one another to talk. Claire followed them as far as
the sofas and sat down there, crossing her arms across
her chest and closing her eyes. Underwood, who had seated
himself so he could see the length of the cabin,
noticed this but said nothing. However, David, on realizing her absence,
looked back and was about to invite her over when
Underwood forestalled him with a light kick to his ankle.
Leave her bee flinch. She's had a rough night. Yeah,
I guess you're right, David nodded. What with her boss
turning out to be a vampire and shooting her yes,
and me smacking her head against the wall and knocking
her out, and you being a vampire of course yes,
and then she's kidnapped by another vampire and flown to
god knows what. It's a lot to deal with it is,
isn't it best leave her? Bee? Yeah? Okay? And talking
of rough nights, how's your back? David shifted in his
seat and put a hand to his back, where he
had hurt himself falling on the stairs in the old
Witch air shaft. Ye, it's not too bad. Sore, obviously,
but I'll live. You should ask the crew if they
have any painkillers aboard. I will yeah, good thinking The
position the seats was adjustable, and David moved his so
he could stretch his legs out into the aisle. Oh god,
I love that legroom. I say, this is quite an
improvement on the old DC three's, isn't it, my lord? Considerably? Yes?
As I say I want one? How much shreck can
they cost? Huh? You're asking me? Oh no, I suppose
you're not the best person to ask, are you? He
noticed Celeste and Claude now making their way up the isle,
and he raised a hand. Excuse me, Celeste, do you
have any idea how much a plane like this costs
to buy? I have no idea, my lord, why I
want one? Underwood smiled and added, I refuse to be
outdone by your master. Well, if you want to outdo him,
my lord, you will need two by four of zem four.
You mean he's got three of the things he does.
What on earth does he need with three aeroplanes? Oh?
They are not just for him, They are used by
his organization. Ah. By organization, do you mean that POxy
gang of his, the nine? The Master's organization is considerably
Moza nine. My lord, he is legion. Oh is he indeed?
And what do you mean by that? I get the
biblical reference, of course, hammy, but that's Verlaine all over.
Are you saying that there's loads of you? Yes, my lord,
we are loads. But this organization is not to be
confused with the Master's business organization. He is the shadow
owner of a very successful multinational corporation. Underwood raised his eyebrows.
Oh really, and what might that be? Jamie nax On,
seeing no recognition on his face. She looked to David,
only to be met with an equally blank look. Ah,
this is just as well. The corporation does not like
to be too much in the public eye. It has
interest in many things that touched the lives of millions
of people. Amilu's pharmaceutical you were speaking with college about
earlier and Sallium security solutions you also seem familiar with.
She pointed to the blood stained logo on the breast
of Underwood's jumpsuit. Oh, yes, yes, I am as a
company name comes from ze Latin geminee axiom, meaning twin axes. Yes,
that much at least I do know. He looked at David.
You remember I told you about Verlaine and his pair
of axes back in the old days. Yeah, and he
had him on his flag too, if I remember rightly.
He did. Yes, and this is now his corporate logo,
said Celeste. Oh right, said Underwood. Hm. Wow, thank you Celeste.
He sat back in his seat to face David, Taking
this as her cue to leave, Celeste gave a nod.
If says any thing else I can help with, my lord,
I would be further down the plane. And with that
she and Claude continued on their way. The nine, said David,
the laying the sect, said Underwood. There were nine of
them when he set it up, so that's what he
called it. What did he do when he got ten members?
Stuck with the nine? Probably because he'd got stationary printed
up with nine on it and was too cheap to
buy more. Really now I jest, oh right, but now
he is legion. Sounds like his POxy gang could give
the sect a run for its money. Well that's hardly surprising,
is it. I've been asleep for the last fifty years,
but by the sound of it, he's been extremely busy. Yeah,
just a bit. David noticed Gabriella returning with a tray
of drinks. He drew out the table as he had
seen her do earlier, just as she arrived beside them.
Here we are. She put David's coffee down first, and
then a glass of what looked exactly like blood in
front of Underwood. We'll be living in a few minutes.
She put a glass of water down beside Claire. So
if you could all please fasten your safety bells. Thank you.
So this is sanguevita, is it? Said Underwood, holding the
glass up to the light and eyeing it suspiciously. Sanguevita superior,
my lord, Yes, Underwood sniffed. The liquid smells like blood,
and I am assured could taste like it too, hmm.
And if I drink this there are no side effects,
not like the drug Coleridge mentioned Diurnal. No, my lord,
sanguevita is only nourishment, nothing more. But if you like,
we have Diurnal on board. I am told you might
be interested. Underwood took a sip of the drink. He
savored it in his mouth, swirling it around his tongue
as a wine taster might do. Then he swallowed and
raised his eyebrows. Well, said David, Actually it's really rather good.
He took another drink. Hmm, yes, I ha a good
use to this. Do you have the bottle, Gabriella. I
will fetch it for you, my lord. One moment, she
turned and walked back in the direction of the galley. Oh,
and some painkillers, if you have any, Gabriella, David called
after her. She acknowledged him and went on, She's probably
chuffed a bit, said David. Chuffed, delighted, really pleased. Why well,
if you like that, drink. Then she and the rest
of the crew don't have to offer themselves up as
your breakfast, do they, Ah, because I'm going to turn
down the real thing in favor of this fake stuff. Huh,
don't be absurd, flinch. I'll have my fill of her
and at least one of her chums before we land,
don't you worry. David, unsurprised, sipped his coffee. On seeing
Gabriella returning, he took out his cigarettes and held them
up to her. I don't know if I'm being cheeky, Gabriella,
but I thought, seeing as how this is a private plane,
can we smoke No, sir, But once we are herborne,
you can smoke e cigarettes. This drew blank looks from
both David and Underwood. Gabriella smiled and said, you will
like them. Once we are under way, I will bring
you a selection. She handed David two white pills you're painkillers.
Then she placed a bottle of Sanguo Vita superior on
the table. And for you, my lord, I also brought these.
She placed a small red and white box next to
the bottle. On it was written Diurnal three hundred milligrams.
The Master wishes for you to have them, but you
can take them or not as you desire. Underwood inspected
the box and then handed it to David, who seemed
keen to get a closer look. David turned it over,
examining it and said, it doesn't give the ingredients. This
is not necessary, mister Flinch, said Gabriela. Tell no rosel
to the public, and so not so regulation. I see,
but Coleridge said he gets some mail order. That is correct, sir.
This is how they are sold and distributed. Oh right,
So I imagine if you had enough vampires on such a
mailing list, you could make quite a fortune. Just how
many vampires are there on it? Any idea? I am
just a stewardess, sir. Such things are beyond my department,
I think, you say. But there's a lot of them, right,
I mean, what thousands? I really don't know, sir. Gabriella
suddenly seemed uncomfortable. She glanced down the aisle as if
looking for assistance. Sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy.
I was just wondering. So Underwood took the box of
bills back from David. Do these do anything else? I mean,
do they affect my other abilities like my strength or
sensory faculties. That's that you would ever notice, Celeste replied,
as she approached from the forgive me. But I saw
Gabriella was bringing his appeals, and I thought maybe you
might have questions. Dianald does have a smile detrimental effect
on these things, but it is negligible. That makes sense,
said David. They didn't impair Coleridge's ability to jump from
that window back at Ronnie's, did they. Underwood nodded yes, And,
as I said at the time, a human could never
have made such a jump. Then the thought occurred to David. Oh.
He turned to Celeste. What about the arianes? She frowned,
The arians yeah, David attempted to mime hares growing out
of the palms of his hands, the stuff you used
to climb walls with. Ah. No, Celeste shook her head.
This is physical transformation, the ability as are removed. Speaking
of physical transformation, said Underwood, there's also the ability to
heal when injured. What happens in the event that I
get shot, for example, my Lord in some asked as well,
this is highly unlikely, yes, but if it does happen,
what then Celeste hesitated a second, then said, then you
do not heal as you do now, so if I
were shot, the effect would be the same as for
a mortal man. You are not quite as vulnerable. But basically, yes, yes,
the ability to heal is significantly diminished, but the advantage
is far out of the way. Is highly unlikely. Ipetitical.
Underwood pushed the box across the table back to Gabriella. No,
thank you, No, no, said Gabriella. They are yours, my lord,
A gift from the Master, yes, but a gift I
don't want. Anxious, Gabriella looked to Celeste for confirmation that
it was okay to do as Underwood asked. David saw this, and,
to save any embarrassment, picked up the pills. May I
what do you want with them? Said Underwood, una interested?
Call it the old meddic in me. Underwood regarded him
with suspicion for a moment, then shrugged, fine, you have them,
not that they'll do you any good. He is right, David,
said Celeste. They make humans feel quite unwell, that's okay.
I'm not planning or taking any but I do have
a question. Please. That is why I am here. What
happens if a vampire that's been taking him stops taking them,
then he reverts back to his original pharaoh sorry, she
apologized to Underwood, I mean former state. And how long
does that take the same as the time it takes
for them to take full effect after one commences their use,
about seventy two hours, So throughout the transition time one
can still experience limited exposure to his son. So if
his lordship were to begin taking them now when we land,
he would be able to leave ziplane in full sunlight
and stay outside for as much as a few hours.
And what about withdrawals items, asked David. Si Ah, none,
So it is best to avoid us on completely when
one is coming off his medication, just to be on
the safe side as metabolisms vary. That's very interesting. Underwood
was now examining the Sangua Vita bottle. It was dark green,
like a wine bottle and screw capped. The label was
black and the words Sangua Vita Superior were written in
a flowing scarlet script. Above them was a white motif
of two crossed axes. There was no label on the back.
He passed it to David, who unscrewed the cap and
sniffed the contents. He grimaced, Jesus, it really does smell
like blood. Underwood chuckled, Perhaps you'd care for a drop.
David replaced the cap and passed the bottle back to Underwood.
No thanks. He turned to Celeste, and so this is
going to go and sale around the world eventually, but
right now the market is unready. What you mean, there's
not enough demand? Celeste smiled something like that. But this
is something I know Za Master wishes to tell you
about himself. She directed this last comment to Underwood. Okay.
Underwood handed the bottle back to Gabriella. Well, thank you.
Both Celeste and Gabriella took their leave. Once they were
out of earshot, David whispered, ear, what you make of
all this all? What this drink, the pills, the fact
that Velaine's planning on selling it all around the world
in shops for Fox's sake? Doesn't that scare you? Why
would it scare me? Velene and I have had our
scrapes in the past, but at the end of the day,
we're both on the same team. What teen Vampire? Yes,
what about teen Human? You mean the team that's been
hammering stakes through our hearts for centuries. Yeah, the same
one as you've been murdering in for centuries. Underwood smiled.
Difficult relationship, isn't it. But if he's found a way
for us or to coexist, he raised his glass, I
say cheers. He took a drink. So why don't you
want to take these? Then, said David, tapping the box
of Diurnal on the table. Underwood shrugged. Too much of
an unknown, But I clearly work. Look at Coleridge, Celeste
Vlaine himself. I know they are obviously very happy being
at a disadvantage when it comes to metamorphosis, but I
am not. Yeah, but you'll be the one at a
disadvantage when it comes to you not being out in
the summer the rest of them. You'll be like the
sulky goths sat in the house while all the other
kids are out and joining the garden pool party. Why
would a medieval German want to go to a pool party? No, no,
that's not what I mean by goths. Oh, it doesn't
matter what it is. Look, you know what I'm saying.
Why don't you want to join the other vampires out
in the sun? If as you say they are your team.
Vlaine's team isn't my team? What but you just said,
Oh look, it's very simple, Flinch. Think of it like this.
He's got his gang, I've got my gang. Sometimes our
interests are in harmony, and sometimes they conflict and things
go sour between us. But at the end of the day,
we are all vampires. You may get, sound like your
rival mobs, gangsters. Well in a sense, we are, aren't.
We We're out lord, hunted, driven underground, quite literally, and
if we're caught, we're executed. And who is going to
do this to us? Team human? So yes, we have
a mutual interest as vampires. But just like gangs and mobs,
though our interests sometimes clash, we are all up against
the same common adversary. All right, So what you're saying
is you don't want to lose your metamorphic abilities because
you think Verlaine might try and shaft you. Exactly, David nodded.
I see he picked up the box of tablets and
it so the brand name faced Underwood. Still it must
be tempting. Oh yes, it is, of course it is,
and I may yet do it. But at the moment,
this whole thing is frankly somewhat overwhelming. He took another
sip of his drink and looked out the window. David
considered for a few moments, then said, but you're the
one who made Velain a vampire in the first place, right, Yes,
much to my everlasting chagrin. Why Underwood gave a little
snort of amusement. It's complicated, Can you tell me? Yes,
I can tell you what else we're going to be
doing for the next eight hours, other than sleeping and
availing ourselves of that shower facility, which I'm going to
do as soon as we get off the bloody ground.
I smell like a chum bucket. At that moment, a
voice came through an overhead speaker. Oh, loads and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking. We're about to take off now,
so settle back fast in your safety belts and make
yourselves comfortable. He continued to talk about flight time, their route,
and weather conditions ahead. David and Underwood listened, waiting patiently
for him to finish. When he did, Gabriella and Shana
appeared beside them to take away their drinks, with the
assurance that they would be refreshed once the plane was airborne.
When they were gone, Underwood turned to David and asked, so,
how far did you get in those recordings you listened to.
As he said this, the dull drone of the engines
rose to a higher wine as the pilot began readying
for takeoff. Up to nineteen forty. It was the last
one you made that year before you went off to
do your bit, as you said at the time. Ah, yes,
I see, and where was I up to in my autobiography?
At that point you, Matthias and Maru were sailing to
America with the Captain Catesby when you ran into Verlaine
and blew up his ship. The plane began to move.
Was that where the tape ended? No, it was a
bit later on after you left him and his crew
to the sharks. You'd reached the port you were heading for,
or rather you were just offshore and Matthias, he thought
the voodun god vampire had taken possession of you, and well,
it didn't sound as if the two of you were
getting along too well. Underwood turned to look out the
window at the quickening landscape outside Halloo. Here we go,
the smooth rumbling of the tires on the runway suddenly
ended as the Gulf stream took off and they were
lifted into the air. They both watched through the rain
spotted glass as the forest surrounding the air drome spread
out beneath them, then, as they went higher, the distant towns,
and then, coming slowly into view, the gray, sprawling mass
that was London. Neither of them spoke until the plane
rose into the thick clouds, when Underwood, his face still
to the window, said so quiet, boys, the engines not
like the old planes. He turned back to David. There's
no need to yell at one another. At that point,
the plane cleared the clouds and rose into blue skies
and bright sunshine. Instinctively, Underwood drew back from the window,
but the steward tim was suddenly there at their side.
Nothing to worry about, my lord. The window was a
one hundred percent UV resistant. As he said this, the
sun streamed in and fell upon Underwood's hands. He held
them there, fingers outstretched. Well, asked David, how does it
feel warm? Just warm, no burning. It's wonderful, but I've
already experienced it on the auto caravan a journey up
from Spain. Yeah. Still I bet it's something you could
get used to, isn't it. Yes. Underwood turned his hands
over so his palms were to the sun. Yes, I
certainly could. Then the plane banked and the direct sunlight
was gone. Underwood smiled. Anyway, shower time, I think me first,
then you, and once we're done, I'll tell you what
happened when we made sure in the New World. David
nodded as Underwood unbuckled his seat belt and got up
to follow Tim down to the shower room. Sunlight fell
once more across the table. David put his hands into
the light, feeling the warmth on his skin. Legion, he thought,
what was the full quote from the Bible? He was
familiar with it from computer games and heavy metal songs,
rather than close acquaintance with the good book. My name
is Legion, for we are many, he murmured to himself.
Oh yeah, I've got a bad feeling about this, and
well he might listen for the new world that awaits
David flinch at the end of this flight is indeed
something he should be uneasy about. But we'll get to
that in time, because in our next episode we're going
back to the old New World. To continue the adventure
at the beginning of Underwood and Flinch. So there we are,
my friends, Underwood Flinch, season seven, episode one, and I
hope you enjoyed it. No news from me this time,
so I'll just shimmer out and leave you to it.
Thank you for listening, mind how you go, and from
me for now, until the moon rises again over Underwood
and Flinch, Farewell.