Speaker 1: Hey everybody, thanks for joining us today on Pastor Rick's
Speaker 1: Daily Hope. This is the Bible teaching ministry of Rick Warren,
Speaker 1: and today we're starting a series called the Habits of Happiness.
Speaker 1: In this series, Rick dives into the Book of Philippians
Speaker 1: and helps you discover God's path to true and lasting happiness. Well,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get started. Here's part one of
Speaker 1: a message called grow Healthy Relationships.
Speaker 2: Somebody wrote me this on Facebook, Pastor Rick, I've walked
Speaker 2: down many roads searching for happiness, but nothing is ever
Speaker 2: as good as it promises to be. I'm frustrated. I
Speaker 2: just want to be happy. Can you help me? And
Speaker 2: I would say to that person, absolutely, I can help you.
Speaker 2: I want to start this series by giving you what
Speaker 2: I call five Laws of Happiness. And I apologize that
Speaker 2: I didn't put space in your outline for this, so
Speaker 2: you're just gonna have to write on the sides up
Speaker 2: down the edge because it's not on your outline. I
Speaker 2: added this after I wrote the outline, but I thought
Speaker 2: it would be a good introduction to this series that
Speaker 2: we're going to begin this week, Five Laws of Happiness.
Speaker 2: When somebody says I've been searching for happiness. I've been
Speaker 2: looking for happiness. I want to find happiness. This is
Speaker 2: what I tell them. Number one, don't look for happiness,
Speaker 2: create it. Happiness is not something you look for. Happiness
Speaker 2: is something you create, and it's your choice. You're as
Speaker 2: happy as you choose to be. Actually, it's quite easy created,
Speaker 2: and we're going to be looking at it in this series.
Speaker 2: Number two, Happiness is not a goal. It's actually the
Speaker 2: result of right thinking, right living, right acting. It's the byproduct.
Speaker 2: If you make happiness the goal of your life, you're
Speaker 2: going to live a very self centered life, and that's
Speaker 2: going to end up making you miserable. Making happiness the
Speaker 2: goal of your life will guarantee that you're never going
Speaker 2: to be happy. Happiness is never the goal. It is
Speaker 2: always the result. It's always the byproduct of something else,
Speaker 2: and so if you make it your goal, you're going
Speaker 2: to be miserable. Number three, My habits create my happiness.
Speaker 2: My habits create my happiness. Happiness is a choice. We
Speaker 2: shape our habits and then they shape us. And we're
Speaker 2: going to look at this in detail in this new series.
Speaker 2: How we shape our habits and then our habits shape us,
Speaker 2: and you can create the habits of happiness in your life.
Speaker 2: Number four fourth law, Happiness based on happenings is temporary,
Speaker 2: but happiness built on habits is long lasting. I'll say
Speaker 2: it again, happiness that is built on happenings is temporary.
Speaker 2: I go to Disneyland, I'm happy. I come out realize
Speaker 2: how much money spend. I'm not happy. I have the
Speaker 2: happiness of going to see a movie. Everybody's telling me
Speaker 2: is great. It's not so great. I come out not happy, disappointed.
Speaker 2: Anything where you base your happiness on a happening, on
Speaker 2: a circumstance, on an occasion, as soon as the occasion's over,
Speaker 2: you lose your happiness, so you don't want that. Happiness
Speaker 2: based on happenings is short term. It's temporary. Happiness based
Speaker 2: on habits is long term. You can be happy the
Speaker 2: rest of your life. Number five fifth law is this.
Speaker 2: Happy habits are as addicting as bad habits, but they
Speaker 2: are a whole lot more rewarding. There aren't the negatives
Speaker 2: that are given to bad habits. Now, bad habits take
Speaker 2: some time to develop. You don't develop them overnight, and
Speaker 2: the same thing with good habits. You don't develop them overnight.
Speaker 2: But happiness and the habits of happiness can be developed
Speaker 2: so that they become habitual in your life. Now this weekend,
Speaker 2: we're beginning this new series I'm calling the Habits of Happiness.
Speaker 2: And what we're going to do is we're going to
Speaker 2: go through the Book of Philippians, verse by verse, through
Speaker 2: the books, through the chapters of Philippians. Now, Philippians is
Speaker 2: a great book. It's the happiest book in the Bible.
Speaker 2: The word joy, the word glad, the word enjoy, the
Speaker 2: word rejoice, of the word happy, happiness, these words that
Speaker 2: are used in various forms seventeen times in a very
Speaker 2: short book. It's the happiest book in the Bible. It
Speaker 2: was written by Paul. And what's amazing that this happiest
Speaker 2: book in the Bible is written by Paul while he's
Speaker 2: in prison in Rome, which means your happiness isn't based
Speaker 2: on your happenings or your happenstances. And actually what this
Speaker 2: book is is a thank you note. Paul is writing
Speaker 2: to the church in Philippi, which is a city in
Speaker 2: that he started, he planted. He's now in prison in Rome,
Speaker 2: and he's writing to thank them. He's thanking them for
Speaker 2: financial gifts that they've given to him. He's fine, thanking
Speaker 2: them for their prayers, for their support, for their love,
Speaker 2: all these things. And it's actually the most personal book
Speaker 2: in the Bible. And we're going to look at it
Speaker 2: together for the next twelve weeks as we go verse
Speaker 2: by verse through the Book of Philippians. Now, I want
Speaker 2: to encourage you to bring your Bible with you because
Speaker 2: you can mark it up as we go straight through
Speaker 2: the chapters, like we do this. If you want to
Speaker 2: be happy, where do you start? I mean, really, what
Speaker 2: would you start with? Money? Sex? Time? What would you
Speaker 2: start with? You say, we need to learn how to
Speaker 2: be really happy in life. Paul starts with relationships. With relationships,
Speaker 2: it is impossible to be happy while your relationships are unhappy. Iver,
Speaker 2: I agree with that. You can meet all kinds of people.
Speaker 2: They've got all kinds of money, they've got all kinds
Speaker 2: of fame, they've got every kind of pleasure you can imagine.
Speaker 2: But if they're in the middle of a divorce, they're
Speaker 2: not happy. If your relationships are unhappy, your life is
Speaker 2: going to be unhappy. So Paul, when he starts talking
Speaker 2: about and modeling the habits of happiness, He begins right
Speaker 2: off the bat the first eleven verses of Philippians chapter one,
Speaker 2: talking about how do you have happy relationships? How do
Speaker 2: you have healthy relationships? So we've got to start here
Speaker 2: before we can go anywhere else in the Habits of Happiness. Now,
Speaker 2: in the first eleven verses, Paul makes his description of
Speaker 2: his relationship. He describes his relationship to the people of Philippi,
Speaker 2: and he gives us four statements. And we're going to
Speaker 2: come back and look at these as habits you can
Speaker 2: develop to have healthier, happier relationships. Let me read it
Speaker 2: to you, Philippians chapter one. This letter is from Paul
Speaker 2: and Timothy, slaves of Jesus Christ. It's written to all
Speaker 2: of God's people and philipp I who believe in Jesus Christ,
Speaker 2: and the elders and the deacons of the church. May God,
Speaker 2: our Father and Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.
Speaker 2: That's his introduction. Now he gets into his first subject.
Speaker 2: He says, every time I think of you, I give
Speaker 2: thanks to my God. I always pray for you, and
Speaker 2: I make my request with a heart full of joy
Speaker 2: because you've been my partners and spreading the good news
Speaker 2: about Christ, from the time you first heard it until now.
Speaker 2: And I am confident that God, who began this good
Speaker 2: work within you, will continue his work until it's finally
Speaker 2: finished on the day when Jesus Christ comes back again.
Speaker 2: Now it's right that I should feel as I do
Speaker 2: about all of you, for you have a very special
Speaker 2: place in my heart. We've shared together the blessings of God,
Speaker 2: both when I was in prison, when I was out
Speaker 2: defending the truth and telling others the good news. God
Speaker 2: knows how much I love you and how I long
Speaker 2: for you. Can't you see the personal nature of this book,
Speaker 2: how much I love you and long for you with
Speaker 2: the tender compassion of Christ. Jesus and I pray that
Speaker 2: your love for each other will overflow more and more.
Speaker 2: And I pray that you will keep on growing in
Speaker 2: your knowledge and understanding, for I want you to understand
Speaker 2: what really matters, so that you may live pure and
Speaker 2: blameless lives until Christ returns. And may you always be
Speaker 2: filled with the fruit of your salvation, those good things
Speaker 2: that are produced in your life by Jesus Christ, for
Speaker 2: this will bring much glory and praise to God. Now
Speaker 2: in that passage, just those few eleven verses, Paul tells
Speaker 2: us four things about his relationship with the Philippians, and
Speaker 2: he tells us that there are models in his life now.
Speaker 2: In the first eleven verses of Philippians, Paul models four
Speaker 2: relational habits that if you will just practice these things,
Speaker 2: your relationships will be more enjoyable and your happiness will
Speaker 2: be greater. They are easy to explain, they are simple
Speaker 2: to understand, but they are incredibly hard to do because
Speaker 2: when I tell you these, you go, oh, yeah, I
Speaker 2: know this, I know this, but you don't do it.
Speaker 2: And so although it's easy for me to teach them,
Speaker 2: it's very hard for all of us to practice them.
Speaker 2: But if you will do these four relational habits and
Speaker 2: you'll build them in your life, your relationships will be
Speaker 2: transformed and you'll be happy. All right, let's look at
Speaker 2: it first. Number one, to be happy, The first thing
Speaker 2: all says is this, I must be grateful for the
Speaker 2: people in my life. I must be grateful for the
Speaker 2: people in my life. Study after study after study after
Speaker 2: study after study link gratitude to happiness. It's been proven
Speaker 2: over and over by psychologists, sociologists, and others that the
Speaker 2: more grateful you are, the more happy you are, the
Speaker 2: more ungrateful you are, the more unhappy you are. And
Speaker 2: if you want to have good relationships, you start with
Speaker 2: the attitude of gratitude. You will be far happier. You
Speaker 2: will enjoy your relationships more if you will develop the
Speaker 2: habit of being grateful for the people in your life.
Speaker 2: The habit of being grateful for the people in your life. Filippius,
Speaker 2: Chapter one, verse three. Paul starts off with this this
Speaker 2: very first thing. Every time I think of you, I
Speaker 2: remember he's in Rome. They're in a city called Philippi.
Speaker 2: Every time I think of you, I give thanks. I
Speaker 2: give thanks to my God. Paul says, you know what,
Speaker 2: I remember the good things about you, and I focus
Speaker 2: on the good times we've had friends. That simple truth
Speaker 2: right there is the source of good relationships. And when
Speaker 2: marriages stop doing this, they crumble. When you stop remembering
Speaker 2: why you got married in the first place, what attracted
Speaker 2: you to that person. When you stop remembering the good times,
Speaker 2: when you stop being grateful for your mate, your marriage
Speaker 2: is already on a long slide into oblivion. Paul says,
Speaker 2: every time I think of you, I give thanks to
Speaker 2: God for you. Let me ask you just be real, honest.
Speaker 2: When you think of the people in your life, do
Speaker 2: you automatically is your first thought gratitude? No, it's not. No,
Speaker 2: it's what do they need to do for me? Are
Speaker 2: they late? Are they in a hurry? Uh? What's not right?
Speaker 2: What have we had a problem with? What have we
Speaker 2: got to get done? Your first thought is not gratitude,
Speaker 2: Paul says. When I think of you, the first thing
Speaker 2: I do is I think your gratitude. I'm grateful for
Speaker 2: who you are, I'm grateful for what you've done. Now
Speaker 2: here's the problem with this. The problem with this is
Speaker 2: the longer you know someone number one you take them,
Speaker 2: the more you take them for granted. Isn't that true?
Speaker 2: The longer you know someone, the more you take them
Speaker 2: for granted, the more you focus on their faults, and
Speaker 2: the easier it is to remember bad times. I don't
Speaker 2: know why it is, but it's easier to remember bap
Speaker 2: times than it is happy times. Paul says, every time
Speaker 2: I think of you, I give thanks. If you would
Speaker 2: just develop this habit that whenever you think of the
Speaker 2: people in your life, your friends, your neighbors, your husband,
Speaker 2: your wife, your kids, your relatives, whatever, that the first
Speaker 2: thought is gratitude. It's going to change your relationship. Now,
Speaker 2: that's a habit you have to develop. It does not
Speaker 2: come natural. We are not by nature grateful people. We
Speaker 2: are by nature discontented people. We are by nature always
Speaker 2: wanting more, wanting things to be different. Philippians, Chapter one,
Speaker 2: verse five. Paul says it again, I thank God. I
Speaker 2: thank God for the help that you gave me. Now,
Speaker 2: if you know the story of this church that he started,
Speaker 2: there there was a woman named Lydia who was a
Speaker 2: businesswoman who opened up her home. And he says, from
Speaker 2: the very first day, you welcomed us, and you helped
Speaker 2: us from the very first day. And then, as I
Speaker 2: said several times in Paul's travels, the Philippian Church was
Speaker 2: funding Paul's missionaries journeys. And in this particular instance, they
Speaker 2: had son, a man named of Paphroditis, all the way
Speaker 2: to Rome to bring him a financial gift, because Paul
Speaker 2: was in Rome by himself in prison. And if Paphordita
Speaker 2: said nearly died on the way, we'll get to that
Speaker 2: later in the book. And now Paul is sending him
Speaker 2: back with this thank you note to the people in Philippi,
Speaker 2: and he says, I thank God for the help you
Speaker 2: gave me. I just wonder what is it that you
Speaker 2: have forgotten that other people have done for you. Again,
Speaker 2: the longer you know someone, the more you take them
Speaker 2: for granted, the more you look for their faults, and
Speaker 2: the more it's easy to remember the bad things than
Speaker 2: the good things. See, the truth is about Paul and Philippi.
Speaker 2: He didn't have a good time in Philippi. In fact,
Speaker 2: it was one of his roughest churches getting started. But
Speaker 2: you don't get any of that in this letter. The
Speaker 2: fact is when Paul went to the city to start
Speaker 2: at church, he was beaten, he was whipped, he was humiliated,
Speaker 2: he was falsely arrested, he was thrown in a prison,
Speaker 2: he went through an earthquake, and then he was politely
Speaker 2: asked by the city leaders to leave town. When I
Speaker 2: thank God for you, I think of you, I thank
Speaker 2: God for you, what is he doing? He is choosing
Speaker 2: selective memory. This was not a happy place all at time.
Speaker 2: It wasn't all sunshine and lollipops and roses and rainbows
Speaker 2: in my little pony. It was a lot of bad stuff.
Speaker 2: It happened, but Paul chose not to dwell on painful memories.
Speaker 2: Are you still living some painful memories with some people
Speaker 2: in your life? You've never let them off the hook,
Speaker 2: and you can't enjoy relationship because you're still holding on
Speaker 2: to the past. Would you write this down? Memories our choice?
Speaker 2: Memories our choice. I remember hearing a story one time
Speaker 2: about two women talking and one of the wives said
Speaker 2: to the other wife said, don't you remember that time
Speaker 2: when your husband did da da da da da da da?
Speaker 2: And she said, I distinctly remember forgetting that. That's a choice.
Speaker 2: Your memories our choice. Now, if you want to hold
Speaker 2: onto your painful memories, go right ahead, but you're not
Speaker 2: going to be happy. Paul had a lot of reasons
Speaker 2: that painful memories. In Philip it was not a happy
Speaker 2: time for everything that happened there, as they said, beaten,
Speaker 2: maligned and all these things. But he says, every time
Speaker 2: I think of you, I thank God for you. He's
Speaker 2: choosing to be grateful for the people in his life. Now,
Speaker 2: in this series, I'm going to give you what I
Speaker 2: call happiness hints, and I'm going to put a little
Speaker 2: HH next to the next to these happiness hints. And
Speaker 2: here's the first one I get. I want to give
Speaker 2: you the whole series. Remember the best and forget the rest.
Speaker 2: If you want to be happy, remember the best and
Speaker 2: forget the rest. Develop selective memory. By the way, September
Speaker 2: twenty one is World Gratitude Day. Did you know that?
Speaker 2: It's World Gratitude Day according to the United Nations. I
Speaker 2: want you to go home, make a list of the
Speaker 2: people in your life and write down five or ten
Speaker 2: things you can say, I'm really grateful for these things
Speaker 2: in their lives. It's the first habit the attitude of
Speaker 2: gratitude will transfer in a relationship. If you're not grateful,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have all kinds of complaining, worrying, all kinds
Speaker 2: of other things. I've got to be grateful for the
Speaker 2: people in my life. Number two, the second habit of
Speaker 2: happiness in relational happiness is this, I need to not
Speaker 2: only be grateful for the people in my life. I
Speaker 2: need to pray with joy for the people in my life.
Speaker 2: I need to pray joyfully. I need to pray with
Speaker 2: joy for the people in my life. Now Paul is
Speaker 2: praying as we just read this passage, praying for these people.
Speaker 2: How would you like to have the apostle Paul praying
Speaker 2: for you. You think that would help the guy who wrote
Speaker 2: much of the New Testament, wouldn't you like? Don't you
Speaker 2: know those Philippians thought, Hey, this is pretty cool. Paul
Speaker 2: is praying for us. Doesn't it encourage you to know
Speaker 2: when somebody is praying for you? Yes, yes, it does.
Speaker 2: It encourages you. In fact, the thing that keeps me
Speaker 2: going is your prayers. And when people say I'm praying
Speaker 2: for you, pastor Rick, I take that serious because it's
Speaker 2: what I move on. It is that power that I
Speaker 2: move on, Paul says. In verse four, he says this,
Speaker 2: I always pray for you. Now that's part of it.
Speaker 2: But notice the rest of the verse. And I make
Speaker 2: my request when he's praying for you, he says, with
Speaker 2: a heart full of joy. Now I want you to
Speaker 2: this minute, think of somebody who irritates you. Don't look
Speaker 2: at him, just think of him. Okay, maybe somebody you've
Speaker 2: got a strained relationship with, or they just kind of
Speaker 2: rub you the wrong way. I have two questions for you.
Speaker 2: Number one, do you pray for them? Okay? Do you
Speaker 2: pray for it? Or do you just complain and grumble
Speaker 2: and nag a nitpick. If you prayed more, you'd have
Speaker 2: a lot less to grumble, complain, nagging, nitpit about. So
Speaker 2: you can decide, does nagging work no? Does prayer work yes?
Speaker 2: So why do you do more of the thing that
Speaker 2: doesn't work than does? Paul says, I pray for you,
Speaker 2: and you need to pray for the people in your life.
Speaker 2: But then he says, I pray for you making requests
Speaker 2: with a heartful of joy. When you do pray, do
Speaker 2: you pray with joy? Now, let me give you a
Speaker 2: little secret here. There are things within people's lives around
Speaker 2: you you'd like to change. You don't want to change yourself.
Speaker 2: You want them to change. If she would just do this,
Speaker 2: if she would just do that, if he would just
Speaker 2: do this. And we always want to change other people.
Speaker 2: You can't. You can't change anybody. You cannot change anybody.
Speaker 2: They can only change themselves, and you can only change yourself.
Speaker 2: So all of that trying to change your change program
Speaker 2: doesn't work. But you can't pray. God can change people.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. Hey,
Speaker 1: did you know that most people look for happiness in
Speaker 1: all the wrong places? You won't find it through money, fame,
Speaker 1: or power. You'll only find real, lasting happiness by following
Speaker 1: God's commands. And that's why Rick created the Habits of
Speaker 1: Happiness Bible Study. Here's Rick to tell you more.
Speaker 2: If you'd like to learn more about the Habits of Happiness,
Speaker 2: I've got a new resource to help you. It's called
Speaker 2: The Habits of Happiness Guided Experience Book. In this resource,
Speaker 2: you're going to learn how seeing things from God's perspective
Speaker 2: will help you develop the Biblical habits of happiness. And
Speaker 2: you're going to discover how happiness runs deeper than any
Speaker 2: circumstance or any feeling or any relationship. Now I'm excited
Speaker 2: because this book is filled with Biblical truth, practical lessons,
Speaker 2: application exercise, and a lot of space for you to
Speaker 2: write down your responses to what God is teaching you.
Speaker 2: It's a really powerful workbook and it's a comprehensive study
Speaker 2: tool I believe is going to help you grow to
Speaker 2: your next level of spiritual maturity.
Speaker 1: This Bible study is only available on Daily Hope and
Speaker 1: quantities are limited, so be sure to request The Habits
Speaker 1: of Happiness Bible Study today when you give a gift
Speaker 1: to help Daily Hope take the hope of Jesus to
Speaker 1: a hurting world. It's our way of saying thanks. Just
Speaker 1: go to Pastorrick dot com to get your copy of
Speaker 1: this great resource. That's Pastorrick dot com. Or you can
Speaker 1: just text the word hope to seven oh three oh nine. Again,
Speaker 1: that's the word hope to seven oh three oh nine.
Speaker 1: And thank you so much for your support. Your gift
Speaker 1: to Daily Hope helps us share the hope of Christ
Speaker 1: with people everywhere.
Speaker 2: Be sure to.
Speaker 1: Join us next time as we look into God's word
Speaker 1: for our daily hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor
Speaker 1: Reg's Daily Hope and your generous financial support.