Speaker 1: Callaroga Shock Media.
Speaker 2: I'm Johnny Mack back from the beach. Some rainy weather
in the Northeast always good for productivity. Dave Chappelle was
at the opening of the Obama Presidential Center. He said
it felt like medicine, describing the event as a hopeful
celebration of culture, laughter, and unity. Here's Dave.
Speaker 3: It was like medicine for me because the time seemed
so dark and you know, of politics is like, you know,
I never wanted to know this much about anything, especially politics,
but now today was a celebration of culture and community.
Speaker 2: Now at the opening of the Obama Presidential Center, both
David Letterman and Stephen Colbert showed up in tan suits.
You may recall one of the great scandals of the
Obama presidency was one time the president of the United
States were a tan suit and people were just outraged, major,
major controversy. Times have changed her stage Bill.
Speaker 3: I thought that was very funny, and I think people
loan for the days where the scandal was as deep
as the tan suit. Speces have gotten so much worse.
But today also made me hopeful. And politics and sometimes
the life it's like weather. You just got to push
through it. And it eventually clouds will break. You know,
not to disparage the current president, but these are tough times,
you know. And and today reminded me of times they
weren't as tough, but we didn't even know they weren't
as tough. I'm looking at Bush and they're like, man,
I can't blow used to not like that guy, and
then look, you know what I mean. It's fun to
see him smile. It was fun to see four ex
presidents together smiling, and it reminded us in the subtext,
that we're all on the same team.
Speaker 2: The current presidents just wear a tan suit just to
see what happens. Speaking of American history, Chris Pratt is
teaming up with cidential historian Doris Kerrn's Goodwin. Now, if
you're not familiar with Doris Kern's Goodwin, if you like comedy,
there's a good chance you like baseball, or remember the
Ken Burns Baseball documentary Doris was all over that that's Doris.
These shorts will follow Chris Pratt as he attempts to
share his passion for American history, only to discover that
his grasp of the facts may not be quite as
strong as his enthusiasm. Fortunately, Doris Kern's Goodwin serves as
executive producer, editorial advisor, and on screen authority, helping keep
the lessons on track. The project has received funding from
the US Department of State's Office of Public Diplomacy and
Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs. Do You Guys fund
podcasts Just Asking You for a Friend, and is intended
to inform and engage foreign publics about America through international
media engagement, educational and cultural exchange programs, digital communications, and
outreach conducted through US embassies and consulates worldwide. I think
we need to inform Europe of American comedy, don't you.
The series was designed as a public diplomacy initiative intended
to engage international audiences with America's constitutional values and history
through modern digital storytelling. These still untitled Pratt Shorts. Pratt
Shorts is just a funny phrase. The Pratt Shorts have
been nicknamed a faster class for US history, with each
episode exploring a defining constitutional value through the story of
a pivotal historical figure or happening. Blending live action and animation,
the Pratt Shorts pair Pratt's curiosity and humor with goodwins
historical expertise and fact checking to highlight America's founding ideals.
That sounds fun. Have I mentioned on this show how
disappointed I am in the lead up to USA two
fifty because I'm ancient and I was around for the
bi centennial. The Bisonennial was awesome. They were like the
Betsy Ross flags. Everywhere everything was painted red, white and blue.
And I think because I grew up in New York City,
my experience was really influenced by Operations Sale. They had
these tall ships come into New York Harbor, and with
the ships came foreign sailors. So you'd walk around and
you'd be like, Oh, there's a bunch of sailors from
Portugal or whatnot. It felt like a thing, and this
one doesn't feel like a thing. And I remember fifty
years ago as a kid being like, oh, I'll be
around for the two fifty. That seems pretty cool. A
fun fact on me. My life goal was to live
to one hundred and seven to be around for the
Trice centennial. But I've now extended that because I'm greedy
and I need the doctors to get on board if
I can make it to one hundred and nine years old,
and I don't move, I will be able to lay
in my backyard and watch a total eclipse of the sun.
So I want to make it to one hundred and nine.
I'm gonna go out in the backyard. I'm just going
to lay down, look at the eclipse and just drift
off like Jack did at the end of Lost. That
would be a good life. Ricky Gervais has confirmed he
will have another special with Netflix. He told Deadline, this
is my most personal show so far, and because both
Cancel Culture and most people I know growing up are dead,
I can really say what the f I want now.
I'm not saying how much they're paying me this time,
but I can say it's my favorite deal so far.
Carlos Mencia has been charged with twelve felony tax counts.
This was announced by the La County District of Orney
Nathan Hackman. Prosecutors alleged that Carlos Mencia failed to file
personal and corporate tax returns over a six year period
and did not report about eight point seven million dollars
in income, resulting in more than three hundred thousand dollars
in unpaid state taxes. This is not the first controversy
involving Carlos Mencia. Back in February of two thousand and seven,
Joe Rogan accused Carlos Mencia of plagiarism on stage at
the Comedy Store in La Rogan nicknamed him Carlos Menstelia,
which is one of my favorite nicknames of all time.
Rogan had alleged that Mencia stole material from George Lopez,
Ari Shafir and Bobby Lee. Now, I met Carlos Mencia
during my time at Sirius XM. By the way, does
anybody else remember remember when Chappelle Show went sideways? They
replaced it with Mind of Mencia. So, like, Carlos was
pretty big there for a while. He got the post
Chappelle slot basically like, oh, we don't have Chapelle anymore
about this, So he was up there. But I remember,
unless I'm totally misremembering, I remember around that time Carlos
admitted to being a joke stealer, and I just did
a quick google. Here I'm seeing a clip from Vice
TV Carlos smith Cy addresses joke stealing quote. I was
driven by my competitive nature as a human being, etcetera, etc.
So I don't think I'm misremembering that Rob Schneider is
in the news because of course he is. Now remember recently,
the San Francisco Giants had Pride Night and some of
the baseball players did not want to wear the Pride caps.
Rob Schneider went on Twitter and said he would pay
fines for any player in any professional league who refuses
to participate in what Rob Schneider calls woke leftist agendas.
Schneider posted on Thursday, you signed a contract to play baseball.
You didn't sign a contract to go against your deeply
held Christian religious beliefs. Baseball is our national pastime, not
drag Queen's story hour. In another post, Schneider wrote, quote
America's pastime isn't being gay, It's baseball. Exclamation point. Ryan
Hamilton has a special ad on Netflix today. Now, we
haven't heard from Ryan Hamilton in quite a while, and
there was a reason. He explains, I'm not going to
spoil it. This is a trailer, but it's a very
different kind of trailer. And Ryan Hamilton will explain why
we haven't heard from him in a while, and that'll
take us into the break. Now, after the break, some
of the funniest stuff that I have heard in a while.
I was in tears. So here's Ryan Hamilton. Then commercials,
then make sure you stick around. Okay.
Speaker 4: January first of twenty twenty two, I was hit by
a bus. It still feels weird to say I have
the new Special and a lot of this is in there.
But what people always ask me is what happened before.
I was flying from Hawaii to lax and it was
my first gig back after COVID. I was going to
spend one night in la before going home. Then I
got an alert on my phone while I was walking
through the airport that said I'd been exposed to COVID.
Do you remember during COVID when you'd get an announcement
on your phone and it would say, hey, you have
a text message and possibly a disease. So I walked
to the hotel, I took the test. It was positive.
And now I'm in the hotel for ten days and
my first day out is January one, And if you recall,
that's when this happened. I watched the ball drop. I
ate an entire pizza. Then I walked to pick up
a rental car. It was just a ten minute walk.
I thought and then I can get out of here.
First thing in the morning, I was so happy. I
came to an intersection, hit the button, watched the light turn,
and started walking. I didn't see or hear anything. Then
this just hit me.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, we got to talk about Elmo, and we
got to keep talking about the New York Nicks. I'm
sorry I keep talking about the Nicks. But stay with
me here. So you may recall, Elmo tried to both
sides the Knicks game against the Spurs and says something
like he just wanted both teams to have fun and
that he's from New York City. And then people got
upset because Elmo clearly lives on Sesame Street, which is
clearly in New York City, and obviously Elmo should have
been pulling for the Knicks. Well, Elmo made it clear
he was not making the same mistake with Team USA.
This is a real clip from the real Elmo social
media accounts. Here's Elmo making it clear he's rooting for
Team USA. But this isn't even the funny thing. Don't leave.
But here's Elmo making it clear he's rooting for Team USA.
Speaker 5: Just to be clear, Emma wants Team USA to win. Okay,
Everma loves everybody. Just to be clear, don't make this
a thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, now this next thing, this is actually I think
the funniest thing of the year. This is like a
week old. I had missed it. I caught it over
the weekend. I was playing it in the yard for
my wife and oh my goodness, I was in tears.
John Stewart commenting on Elmo rooting for both sides when
Elmo should have been rooting for the Knicks. This is
quite a long cli. It is very funny. I have
scoped it down. It gets a little naughty at the end,
but the naughtiness is visual, and since this is an
audio podcast, we'll get away with it. But whatever you
think is happening at the end of this clip, that's
what's happening. Here's Jon Stewart with Elmo abuse.
Speaker 6: That's piling up online for Elmo after he tried to
be neutral about.
Speaker 4: The NBA Finals.
Speaker 1: As Sesame Street Star posted, Elmo hopes both teams have fun.
You kidding me?
Speaker 7: Alo, Today's Sensame Street is brought to you by the
letter B four. You're a bitch, Suirly, Elmo's fellow New
Yorkers responded to his wavering with our trademark, Grayson understanding.
Speaker 2: New Yorkers didn't like that, then we's fury on him,
blasting Almo as a trader, telling him to pick a side, but.
Speaker 1: To get inside of the story. Well, let's welcome the
muppet at the center of all this. Elmo. Everybody, Elmo, Yay.
Speaker 5: Hi everyone, Hi Jannah, you're still mad at Elmo?
Speaker 1: Elmo? You you're a New Yorker. I'm just I'm a
little surprised you're not all in on the necks.
Speaker 6: Elmo can't help it. Elmo loves the knicks, and Elmo
loves suspos. Elmo wants both teams to have fun, try
their hardest, and Elbow just wants them both to hit
the over.
Speaker 1: Y I'm sorry, did you did you just say hit
the over? That's the kids the umber.
Speaker 6: That's why the number of the day is plus two sixteen.
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course the number seems heavy given that it's
been a defensive series thus far.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Elmo, do you gamble? No?
Speaker 6: No, no, no, this isn't a gamble.
Speaker 1: This is a lock.
Speaker 6: And Elmo needs it to come in because Almo has
been getting crushed by the unpredictable high school baseball scores.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can bet high school baseball on these apps.
Speaker 6: Oh no, Almo banned from the apps. That's why Elma
bets with Big Ricky.
Speaker 1: He lives in a.
Speaker 6: Part of Sesame Street.
Speaker 1: Elmo had never.
Speaker 7: Been to be the Yeah, Elmo, this is stunning to me.
Speaker 1: This is shot. You need help.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Elmo, do need help, mister John. Elmo especially need
help from Josh Hart because Josh Hart averaged twelve points
during the regular season on fifty shooting from the field,
but less than two points in the finals, ruining Elmo's bay.
Speaker 1: You've got to get help. You're on a bad path.
Speaker 6: No, no, no, mister John, Elmo just on an unlucky street.
Elmo turn this around.
Speaker 1: Elmo just needs a sure thing, like a prop bet
that game go wrong.
Speaker 8: Like who.
Speaker 6: Is mister John going to the game to make well?
Speaker 1: Actually, Elmo, I will be there tonight.
Speaker 6: Huh. That's what polyymarket think too. And now that everyone
think mister John going to game, Elmo makes big prep
that and you.
Speaker 1: Missing great, mister John.
Speaker 7: Help Elmo out of ben jam Yay, thank you, mister John.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Elmo. No fucking way no, right, I'm going.
I'm taking my son. We're going to the game. We
wouldn't miss this for anything in the world.
Speaker 5: Please, oh no, please, please, mister John.
Speaker 1: Elmo can't go back to the streets.
Speaker 8: Oh oh, mister John, you can't make you. Elmo will
do Elmo will do anything, mister John, anything.
Speaker 5: Listen, job please please, I can make I can make
you so happy.
Speaker 1: Jeez.
Speaker 2: And while we're at it, and possibly the last Knicks
clip for quite a while, Triumph the insult comic Dog
was at the New York Knicks victory parade.
Speaker 9: I'm here in New York City with thousands of elated
New Yorkers from all walks of life, all here for
one reason.
Speaker 1: None of them have jobs. Let's go there, come home,
go there, tell New York, New York go. I'm surrounded
by me.
Speaker 9: Oh listen, baby, I know what my nickname at the
dog park is. It's Jalen Brunson because I'm undersized, but.
Speaker 1: I know how to finish it.
Speaker 9: The whole.
Speaker 2: The old age then was a Tickeer tape parade.
Speaker 9: They would stock market ticket tape. And then they don't
use tickere tape that anymore. So this year they just
shredded the Epstein five.
Speaker 2: That is your comedy news for today. Don't forget it's June.
You're sharing the show. Otherwise I'm gonna play Amy Schumer
singing and none of us want that. Okay, so your
phone's in your hand right now, hit Chare and go, hey, dude,
this is pretty funny. Check out the John Stewart clip
towards the end. That's all you gotta do and I'll
see you tomorrow