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Speaker 1: Callaroga Shock Media.

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Speaker 2: I'm Johnny Mack back from the beach. Some rainy weather

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in the Northeast always good for productivity. Dave Chappelle was

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at the opening of the Obama Presidential Center. He said

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it felt like medicine, describing the event as a hopeful

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celebration of culture, laughter, and unity. Here's Dave.

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Speaker 3: It was like medicine for me because the time seemed

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so dark and you know, of politics is like, you know,

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I never wanted to know this much about anything, especially politics,

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but now today was a celebration of culture and community.

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Speaker 2: Now at the opening of the Obama Presidential Center, both

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David Letterman and Stephen Colbert showed up in tan suits.

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You may recall one of the great scandals of the

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Obama presidency was one time the president of the United

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States were a tan suit and people were just outraged, major,

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major controversy. Times have changed her stage Bill.

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Speaker 3: I thought that was very funny, and I think people

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loan for the days where the scandal was as deep

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as the tan suit. Speces have gotten so much worse.

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But today also made me hopeful. And politics and sometimes

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the life it's like weather. You just got to push

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through it. And it eventually clouds will break. You know,

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not to disparage the current president, but these are tough times,

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you know. And and today reminded me of times they

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weren't as tough, but we didn't even know they weren't

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as tough. I'm looking at Bush and they're like, man,

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I can't blow used to not like that guy, and

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then look, you know what I mean. It's fun to

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see him smile. It was fun to see four ex

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presidents together smiling, and it reminded us in the subtext,

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that we're all on the same team.

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Speaker 2: The current presidents just wear a tan suit just to

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see what happens. Speaking of American history, Chris Pratt is

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teaming up with cidential historian Doris Kerrn's Goodwin. Now, if

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you're not familiar with Doris Kern's Goodwin, if you like comedy,

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there's a good chance you like baseball, or remember the

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Ken Burns Baseball documentary Doris was all over that that's Doris.

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These shorts will follow Chris Pratt as he attempts to

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share his passion for American history, only to discover that

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his grasp of the facts may not be quite as

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strong as his enthusiasm. Fortunately, Doris Kern's Goodwin serves as

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executive producer, editorial advisor, and on screen authority, helping keep

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the lessons on track. The project has received funding from

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the US Department of State's Office of Public Diplomacy and

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Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs. Do You Guys fund

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podcasts Just Asking You for a Friend, and is intended

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to inform and engage foreign publics about America through international

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media engagement, educational and cultural exchange programs, digital communications, and

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outreach conducted through US embassies and consulates worldwide. I think

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we need to inform Europe of American comedy, don't you.

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The series was designed as a public diplomacy initiative intended

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to engage international audiences with America's constitutional values and history

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through modern digital storytelling. These still untitled Pratt Shorts. Pratt

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Shorts is just a funny phrase. The Pratt Shorts have

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been nicknamed a faster class for US history, with each

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episode exploring a defining constitutional value through the story of

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a pivotal historical figure or happening. Blending live action and animation,

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the Pratt Shorts pair Pratt's curiosity and humor with goodwins

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historical expertise and fact checking to highlight America's founding ideals.

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That sounds fun. Have I mentioned on this show how

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disappointed I am in the lead up to USA two

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fifty because I'm ancient and I was around for the

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bi centennial. The Bisonennial was awesome. They were like the

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Betsy Ross flags. Everywhere everything was painted red, white and blue.

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And I think because I grew up in New York City,

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my experience was really influenced by Operations Sale. They had

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these tall ships come into New York Harbor, and with

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the ships came foreign sailors. So you'd walk around and

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you'd be like, Oh, there's a bunch of sailors from

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Portugal or whatnot. It felt like a thing, and this

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one doesn't feel like a thing. And I remember fifty

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years ago as a kid being like, oh, I'll be

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around for the two fifty. That seems pretty cool. A

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fun fact on me. My life goal was to live

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to one hundred and seven to be around for the

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Trice centennial. But I've now extended that because I'm greedy

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and I need the doctors to get on board if

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I can make it to one hundred and nine years old,

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and I don't move, I will be able to lay

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in my backyard and watch a total eclipse of the sun.

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So I want to make it to one hundred and nine.

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I'm gonna go out in the backyard. I'm just going

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to lay down, look at the eclipse and just drift

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off like Jack did at the end of Lost. That

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would be a good life. Ricky Gervais has confirmed he

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will have another special with Netflix. He told Deadline, this

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is my most personal show so far, and because both

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Cancel Culture and most people I know growing up are dead,

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I can really say what the f I want now.

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I'm not saying how much they're paying me this time,

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but I can say it's my favorite deal so far.

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Carlos Mencia has been charged with twelve felony tax counts.

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This was announced by the La County District of Orney

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Nathan Hackman. Prosecutors alleged that Carlos Mencia failed to file

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personal and corporate tax returns over a six year period

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and did not report about eight point seven million dollars

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in income, resulting in more than three hundred thousand dollars

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in unpaid state taxes. This is not the first controversy

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involving Carlos Mencia. Back in February of two thousand and seven,

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Joe Rogan accused Carlos Mencia of plagiarism on stage at

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the Comedy Store in La Rogan nicknamed him Carlos Menstelia,

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which is one of my favorite nicknames of all time.

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Rogan had alleged that Mencia stole material from George Lopez,

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Ari Shafir and Bobby Lee. Now, I met Carlos Mencia

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during my time at Sirius XM. By the way, does

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anybody else remember remember when Chappelle Show went sideways? They

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replaced it with Mind of Mencia. So, like, Carlos was

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pretty big there for a while. He got the post

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Chappelle slot basically like, oh, we don't have Chapelle anymore

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about this, So he was up there. But I remember,

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unless I'm totally misremembering, I remember around that time Carlos

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admitted to being a joke stealer, and I just did

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a quick google. Here I'm seeing a clip from Vice

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TV Carlos smith Cy addresses joke stealing quote. I was

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driven by my competitive nature as a human being, etcetera, etc.

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So I don't think I'm misremembering that Rob Schneider is

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in the news because of course he is. Now remember recently,

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the San Francisco Giants had Pride Night and some of

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the baseball players did not want to wear the Pride caps.

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Rob Schneider went on Twitter and said he would pay

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fines for any player in any professional league who refuses

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to participate in what Rob Schneider calls woke leftist agendas.

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Schneider posted on Thursday, you signed a contract to play baseball.

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You didn't sign a contract to go against your deeply

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held Christian religious beliefs. Baseball is our national pastime, not

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drag Queen's story hour. In another post, Schneider wrote, quote

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America's pastime isn't being gay, It's baseball. Exclamation point. Ryan

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Hamilton has a special ad on Netflix today. Now, we

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haven't heard from Ryan Hamilton in quite a while, and

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there was a reason. He explains, I'm not going to

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spoil it. This is a trailer, but it's a very

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different kind of trailer. And Ryan Hamilton will explain why

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we haven't heard from him in a while, and that'll

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take us into the break. Now, after the break, some

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of the funniest stuff that I have heard in a while.

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I was in tears. So here's Ryan Hamilton. Then commercials,

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then make sure you stick around. Okay.

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Speaker 4: January first of twenty twenty two, I was hit by

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a bus. It still feels weird to say I have

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the new Special and a lot of this is in there.

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But what people always ask me is what happened before.

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I was flying from Hawaii to lax and it was

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my first gig back after COVID. I was going to

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spend one night in la before going home. Then I

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got an alert on my phone while I was walking

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through the airport that said I'd been exposed to COVID.

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Do you remember during COVID when you'd get an announcement

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on your phone and it would say, hey, you have

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a text message and possibly a disease. So I walked

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to the hotel, I took the test. It was positive.

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And now I'm in the hotel for ten days and

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my first day out is January one, And if you recall,

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that's when this happened. I watched the ball drop. I

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ate an entire pizza. Then I walked to pick up

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a rental car. It was just a ten minute walk.

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I thought and then I can get out of here.

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First thing in the morning, I was so happy. I

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came to an intersection, hit the button, watched the light turn,

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and started walking. I didn't see or hear anything. Then

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this just hit me.

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, we got to talk about Elmo, and we

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got to keep talking about the New York Nicks. I'm

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sorry I keep talking about the Nicks. But stay with

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me here. So you may recall, Elmo tried to both

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sides the Knicks game against the Spurs and says something

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like he just wanted both teams to have fun and

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that he's from New York City. And then people got

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upset because Elmo clearly lives on Sesame Street, which is

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clearly in New York City, and obviously Elmo should have

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been pulling for the Knicks. Well, Elmo made it clear

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he was not making the same mistake with Team USA.

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This is a real clip from the real Elmo social

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media accounts. Here's Elmo making it clear he's rooting for

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Team USA. But this isn't even the funny thing. Don't leave.

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But here's Elmo making it clear he's rooting for Team USA.

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Speaker 5: Just to be clear, Emma wants Team USA to win. Okay,

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Everma loves everybody. Just to be clear, don't make this

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a thing.

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Speaker 2: Okay, now this next thing, this is actually I think

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the funniest thing of the year. This is like a

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week old. I had missed it. I caught it over

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the weekend. I was playing it in the yard for

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my wife and oh my goodness, I was in tears.

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John Stewart commenting on Elmo rooting for both sides when

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Elmo should have been rooting for the Knicks. This is

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quite a long cli. It is very funny. I have

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scoped it down. It gets a little naughty at the end,

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but the naughtiness is visual, and since this is an

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audio podcast, we'll get away with it. But whatever you

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think is happening at the end of this clip, that's

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what's happening. Here's Jon Stewart with Elmo abuse.

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Speaker 6: That's piling up online for Elmo after he tried to

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be neutral about.

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Speaker 4: The NBA Finals.

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Speaker 1: As Sesame Street Star posted, Elmo hopes both teams have fun.

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You kidding me?

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Speaker 7: Alo, Today's Sensame Street is brought to you by the

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letter B four. You're a bitch, Suirly, Elmo's fellow New

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Yorkers responded to his wavering with our trademark, Grayson understanding.

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Speaker 2: New Yorkers didn't like that, then we's fury on him,

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blasting Almo as a trader, telling him to pick a side, but.

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Speaker 1: To get inside of the story. Well, let's welcome the

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muppet at the center of all this. Elmo. Everybody, Elmo, Yay.

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Speaker 5: Hi everyone, Hi Jannah, you're still mad at Elmo?

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Speaker 1: Elmo? You you're a New Yorker. I'm just I'm a

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little surprised you're not all in on the necks.

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Speaker 6: Elmo can't help it. Elmo loves the knicks, and Elmo

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loves suspos. Elmo wants both teams to have fun, try

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their hardest, and Elbow just wants them both to hit

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the over.

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Speaker 1: Y I'm sorry, did you did you just say hit

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the over? That's the kids the umber.

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Speaker 6: That's why the number of the day is plus two sixteen.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, of course the number seems heavy given that it's

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been a defensive series thus far.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Elmo, do you gamble? No?

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Speaker 6: No, no, no, this isn't a gamble.

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Speaker 1: This is a lock.

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Speaker 6: And Elmo needs it to come in because Almo has

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been getting crushed by the unpredictable high school baseball scores.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you can bet high school baseball on these apps.

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Speaker 6: Oh no, Almo banned from the apps. That's why Elma

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bets with Big Ricky.

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Speaker 1: He lives in a.

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Speaker 6: Part of Sesame Street.

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Speaker 1: Elmo had never.

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Speaker 7: Been to be the Yeah, Elmo, this is stunning to me.

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Speaker 1: This is shot. You need help.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Elmo, do need help, mister John. Elmo especially need

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help from Josh Hart because Josh Hart averaged twelve points

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during the regular season on fifty shooting from the field,

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but less than two points in the finals, ruining Elmo's bay.

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Speaker 1: You've got to get help. You're on a bad path.

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Speaker 6: No, no, no, mister John, Elmo just on an unlucky street.

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Elmo turn this around.

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Speaker 1: Elmo just needs a sure thing, like a prop bet

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that game go wrong.

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Speaker 8: Like who.

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Speaker 6: Is mister John going to the game to make well?

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Speaker 1: Actually, Elmo, I will be there tonight.

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Speaker 6: Huh. That's what polyymarket think too. And now that everyone

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think mister John going to game, Elmo makes big prep

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that and you.

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Speaker 1: Missing great, mister John.

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Speaker 7: Help Elmo out of ben jam Yay, thank you, mister John.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Elmo. No fucking way no, right, I'm going.

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I'm taking my son. We're going to the game. We

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wouldn't miss this for anything in the world.

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Speaker 5: Please, oh no, please, please, mister John.

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Speaker 1: Elmo can't go back to the streets.

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Speaker 8: Oh oh, mister John, you can't make you. Elmo will

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do Elmo will do anything, mister John, anything.

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Speaker 5: Listen, job please please, I can make I can make

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you so happy.

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Speaker 1: Jeez.

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Speaker 2: And while we're at it, and possibly the last Knicks

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clip for quite a while, Triumph the insult comic Dog

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was at the New York Knicks victory parade.

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Speaker 9: I'm here in New York City with thousands of elated

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New Yorkers from all walks of life, all here for

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one reason.

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Speaker 1: None of them have jobs. Let's go there, come home,

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go there, tell New York, New York go. I'm surrounded

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by me.

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Speaker 9: Oh listen, baby, I know what my nickname at the

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dog park is. It's Jalen Brunson because I'm undersized, but.

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Speaker 1: I know how to finish it.

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Speaker 9: The whole.

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Speaker 2: The old age then was a Tickeer tape parade.

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Speaker 9: They would stock market ticket tape. And then they don't

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use tickere tape that anymore. So this year they just

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shredded the Epstein five.

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Speaker 2: That is your comedy news for today. Don't forget it's June.

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You're sharing the show. Otherwise I'm gonna play Amy Schumer

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singing and none of us want that. Okay, so your

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phone's in your hand right now, hit Chare and go, hey, dude,

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this is pretty funny. Check out the John Stewart clip

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towards the end. That's all you gotta do and I'll

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see you tomorrow