WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.680 --> 00:00:02.919 This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI 2 00:00:03.080 --> 00:00:05.960 AM six forty, the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show on demand 3 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:10.039 on the iHeartRadio app kf I AM six forty. You 4 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:12.359 have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Dr 5 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:15.679 Wendy Wall Show where I love to talk about the 6 00:00:15.759 --> 00:00:22.000 science of love, falling in love, heartbreak, all kinds of relationships. 7 00:00:22.039 --> 00:00:23.800 If you're new to my show, I have a PhD 8 00:00:23.879 --> 00:00:27.679 in clinical psychology. I'm not a therapist. I'm a psychology professor, 9 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:30.359 but I'm obsessed with the science of love. I've written 10 00:00:30.359 --> 00:00:33.600 three books on relationships, did a dissertation on attachment theory, 11 00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:36.119 and well, let's get to it. I'll tell you what's 12 00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:39.119 coming up. Did you know a woman in France lost 13 00:00:39.159 --> 00:00:42.079 one point two million dollars in a romance scam. We're 14 00:00:42.119 --> 00:00:44.520 going to talk about how to avoid romance scams, even 15 00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:46.200 if you don't have a million dollars to give away. 16 00:00:46.520 --> 00:00:50.799 Whatever little bits we have we could lose. Plus I'll 17 00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:55.840 be answering your social media questions. But first I predicted it. 18 00:00:56.439 --> 00:01:02.840 There's no secret there. Travis Kelcey is not at the Grammys, right, Kayla? 19 00:01:02.920 --> 00:01:07.120 Am I right? Have you seen him? See you, and 20 00:01:07.159 --> 00:01:09.239 I will tell you why he was not there last 21 00:01:09.280 --> 00:01:11.719 year too. Yes, he has that pretty little girlfriend with 22 00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:14.159 the nominations. What was that girl's name again? Uh? 23 00:01:15.079 --> 00:01:17.640 Taylor, Taylor, Taylor Swift. 24 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:19.640 Oh, that that's it. You know what's funny. I go 25 00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:22.280 to Orange Theory and there's a instructor there named Taylor Swift. 26 00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:24.359 I tell you the story before I'm repeating myself. And 27 00:01:24.519 --> 00:01:29.200 turns out she's Taylor Swift's second cousin and coincidentally got 28 00:01:29.280 --> 00:01:31.680 named the same name. Didn't know that fact when she 29 00:01:31.719 --> 00:01:34.519 got named that name. Anyway. Uh, here's what you need 30 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:37.840 to understand, ladies who are out there saying it's a 31 00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:40.319 terrible sign. He can't even take the day off work 32 00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:44.280 to go and support his girlfriend. Uh, okay, he's a 33 00:01:44.319 --> 00:01:47.840 professional athlete. He's paid millions of dollars to adhere to 34 00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:53.439 a strict employment contract. His team is scheduled to practice today. Now, 35 00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:57.120 unlike other jobs, he can't just ask for the day off. 36 00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:03.640 And besides, like legal financial ramifications. If this dude went 37 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:06.439 a wall right before the Super Bowl, don't you think 38 00:02:06.439 --> 00:02:09.400 he created a bunch of disgruntled teammates who could put 39 00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:12.960 the whole team in jeopardy of losing football's biggest prize. 40 00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:17.599 All right, So if you understand the constraints on professional athletes, 41 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:21.280 the importance of that game coming up next week, you're 42 00:02:21.280 --> 00:02:24.479 not going to interpret his absence as a statement about 43 00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:27.840 his love life, all right. So, but I do want 44 00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:29.479 to say this. I just feel like I have to 45 00:02:29.479 --> 00:02:33.280 say it because I know things I don't know things 46 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:36.800 about Taylor and Travis. I know things about how and 47 00:02:36.840 --> 00:02:39.280 why and when people fall in love and choose to 48 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:43.360 tie the knot. I would put money on the fact 49 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:47.199 that these two are getting married. I mean not tonight, 50 00:02:47.479 --> 00:02:50.520 but they're going to get married for sure. Statistically speaking, 51 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:53.599 they are the people most likely to get married. Now, 52 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:56.039 let me break it down. They are in the most 53 00:02:56.080 --> 00:03:00.240 common age range. She's what, thirty two and he's thirty four, like, 54 00:03:00.360 --> 00:03:03.719 or she's thirty four and he's thirty two, so somewhere 55 00:03:03.759 --> 00:03:07.280 in there. Okay, she's near the end of her fertility window. 56 00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:11.719 They both come from parents who stayed married. They come 57 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:16.159 from communities where they may have absorbed religious messages in 58 00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:21.639 early life about marriage and family. Their closest friends are 59 00:03:21.719 --> 00:03:25.639 married couples Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Patrick and Brittany 60 00:03:25.639 --> 00:03:29.240 Mahomes and Jason and Kylie Kelsey. You know, marriage is 61 00:03:29.360 --> 00:03:34.000 highly contagious within social circles. So and it's also going 62 00:03:34.080 --> 00:03:37.800 to I think, help both their careers. They're gonna get married. 63 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:40.879 They're gonna get married. It's clearly the next step the 64 00:03:40.919 --> 00:03:44.800 public's been waiting for. They've been together a year and 65 00:03:44.840 --> 00:03:49.319 a half, enough time to assess compatibility, so they would 66 00:03:49.319 --> 00:03:51.840 get the nod of approval from me. If they plan 67 00:03:51.879 --> 00:03:54.919 to have a family, the time is now. Maybe after 68 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:58.039 the Grammys tonight, he'll do it by zoom, or maybe 69 00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:01.680 she's deciding if she's going to propose to him. You 70 00:04:01.800 --> 00:04:06.360 never know. Speaking of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, look 71 00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:10.000 at that segue. Have you guys been following what's been 72 00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:13.280 going on with Blake Lively and her director co star 73 00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:15.240 from the movie what was the damn movie called? 74 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:16.480 It Ends with Us? 75 00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:18.800 It Ends with Us? Well, it's ending with them. Let 76 00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:21.519 me tell you their friendship is ending right there. A 77 00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:27.279 director star is Justin Baldoni, so little background. Blake Lively 78 00:04:27.920 --> 00:04:30.720 worked on this movie with him. He was the director 79 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:35.040 and the co co star. She accused him of sexual 80 00:04:35.079 --> 00:04:40.720 harassment and for spearheading a smear campaign launched in retaliation 81 00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:46.199 for speaking out against his supposed alleged might have happened misconduct. See, 82 00:04:46.199 --> 00:04:47.680 we got to say that for legal reasons. On the 83 00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:52.040 set of the movie. He's denied everything. Now he's countersued 84 00:04:52.120 --> 00:04:56.000 her and her husband. Forget this four hundred million dollars, 85 00:04:56.160 --> 00:04:59.959 which is apparently what they're worth. So here's what happened. 86 00:05:00.079 --> 00:05:04.480 On Friday. Baldoni decided, I'm going to go so public. 87 00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:07.879 I'm beyond public. I don't know how he got this url, Kayla, 88 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:09.879 do you know what the url to his website is? 89 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:10.720 What is it? 90 00:05:11.079 --> 00:05:13.360 The lawsuit info dot com. 91 00:05:13.639 --> 00:05:16.680 Well, I hear that there's a very very wealthy man 92 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:20.319 helping him with this lawsuit. So yeah, more money than 93 00:05:22.199 --> 00:05:24.199 Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively puts together. I want to 94 00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:26.560 say the director, the director of the movie, somebody. 95 00:05:26.360 --> 00:05:27.399 That worked on the movie. That's team. 96 00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:31.839 The producer just then has billions and billions of dollars 97 00:05:31.879 --> 00:05:32.680 and he's given. 98 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:36.399 Oh, they bought the url the lawsuit infoodfox dot com. 99 00:05:36.439 --> 00:05:39.199 The lawsuit info dot com. That's all you type into Google. 100 00:05:39.240 --> 00:05:42.000 The lawsuit info is if theirs is the only lawsuit 101 00:05:42.040 --> 00:05:45.319 on the planet. And what he did is he uploaded 102 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:48.439 a document. It's not glamorous. There's no pretty don't look 103 00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:51.160 for nice graphics, don't look for pretty pictures, don't look 104 00:05:51.199 --> 00:05:54.360 for animation. It's just a document one hundred and sixty 105 00:05:54.439 --> 00:05:59.480 pages that includes all the text, exchanges, all the scenes. 106 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:04.160 It's from the script that disproves everything in her claim. 107 00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:06.480 You know. He also sued he's suing The New York 108 00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:11.360 Times because they printed a story that he says was 109 00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:15.600 all one sided, just writing whatever Blake Lively said, and 110 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:18.839 that it wasn't balanced, and it was whatever, slander defamat. 111 00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:21.000 I don't know what they call it. Slander defamation. No 112 00:06:21.079 --> 00:06:24.360 defamations when you're to private people diss somebody else, but 113 00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:27.600 slanders when you're lying as a journalist publicly. I did 114 00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:29.680 take journalism law on ethics, but it was like in 115 00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:30.680 nineteen eighty one. 116 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:32.199 You were one of the greatest journalists average. 117 00:06:34.360 --> 00:06:37.560 So I don't mean to laugh at their drama, but 118 00:06:37.759 --> 00:06:40.160 I did skim through the one hundred and sixty pages 119 00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:46.040 stopped on some very interesting texts At issue. He described 120 00:06:46.079 --> 00:06:50.920 her wardrobe as needing to be more sexy. All right, 121 00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:56.279 Baldoni asked their shared trainer. I guess Lively had introduced 122 00:06:56.360 --> 00:06:59.279 him to her workout person. And there's all this stuff 123 00:06:59.319 --> 00:07:01.480 of the prescript in the text of how many push 124 00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:03.360 ups and sit ups and what to eat and how 125 00:07:03.439 --> 00:07:05.199 much cardio. If you want to know how to look 126 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:07.920 like Justin Baldoni, just log onto that and you're going 127 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:11.600 to find the whole work out there. And so Baldoni 128 00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:15.439 apparently allegedly has had back pain in the past and 129 00:07:15.439 --> 00:07:18.120 some slip discs or whatever. So he was concerned about 130 00:07:18.120 --> 00:07:21.600 a particular love making scene that's a lift scene where 131 00:07:21.600 --> 00:07:24.000 he has to lift her up and carry her and 132 00:07:24.040 --> 00:07:27.240 do the deed. And they don't do it for real. 133 00:07:27.319 --> 00:07:31.759 It's all it's magic of movies. But he asked her 134 00:07:31.879 --> 00:07:35.519 trainer how much she weighed so he could prepare for it. 135 00:07:36.439 --> 00:07:39.480 That's his side of the story. Well, husband Ryan Reynolds 136 00:07:39.800 --> 00:07:44.079 went ballistic over that. How dare you criticize my wife 137 00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:47.279 about her way? She was postpartum, she was breastfeeding. How 138 00:07:47.360 --> 00:07:51.199 dare you also everything you could imagine that could go wrong, 139 00:07:51.240 --> 00:07:52.959 and this film seemed to go wrong. She got sick 140 00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:55.600 a whole bunch of times, and at one point I 141 00:07:55.639 --> 00:07:58.160 think one or two of the crew members got COVID, 142 00:07:58.439 --> 00:08:01.120 So even though we're past COVID proto, it makes sense. 143 00:08:01.160 --> 00:08:04.759 She's in, she got kids, she's breastfeeding. She just said, hey, 144 00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:06.879 can you get anybody who's in contact with me tested 145 00:08:06.920 --> 00:08:09.920 for COVID, which he said yes. There was a lot 146 00:08:09.959 --> 00:08:12.240 of texts where Justin was totally sucking up to Ryan 147 00:08:12.279 --> 00:08:13.959 and her by the way, just kissing the ring, kissing 148 00:08:13.959 --> 00:08:16.000 the ring. He was trying because they are more powerful 149 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:19.240 in Hollywood than he was. Anyway, wouldn't you know what? 150 00:08:19.319 --> 00:08:21.879 She came down with COVID so she missed Simon. Then 151 00:08:21.879 --> 00:08:25.040 there's all the sweet email or texts from Justin saying, 152 00:08:25.079 --> 00:08:29.639 don't worry, you don't feel better? Whatever I want to know, 153 00:08:29.920 --> 00:08:33.080 And there were arguments over script changes she kept doing. 154 00:08:33.440 --> 00:08:36.120 At one point, I think he came into a meeting 155 00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:39.600 he redacted or that means blacked out. You take a sharpie, 156 00:08:39.639 --> 00:08:42.759 you black it out people's names on stuff who weren't 157 00:08:42.759 --> 00:08:44.919 involved in this. But one of them said that he 158 00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:47.559 came for a meeting with somebody who was a mega, 159 00:08:47.600 --> 00:08:50.840 mega megastar. Can we figure out who that was? Who 160 00:08:50.919 --> 00:08:52.519 was in the You think it's Taylor swift. Is that 161 00:08:52.519 --> 00:08:54.240 what you're saying with your lips right there? I don't 162 00:08:54.240 --> 00:08:56.639 know somebody, but it was Ryan Reynolds and a mega 163 00:08:56.720 --> 00:08:59.759 star and Blake Lively telling him all these script changes 164 00:08:59.799 --> 00:09:02.000 they should do in his movie and called them her 165 00:09:02.039 --> 00:09:05.120 two dragons, and she referred to them as I'm sorry 166 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:07.279 my dragons. Were there later. 167 00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:10.200 Talking Game of Thrones. If you know she's saying, she 168 00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:12.200 was comparing herself to Kalisi. 169 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:14.039 And then another time she called herself, you know, I'm 170 00:09:14.039 --> 00:09:16.799 a ball buster. Now you know that sort of sounds 171 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:19.440 like gendered language to be what if he had said 172 00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:25.679 I'm a pea buster. I think we can say ball 173 00:09:25.720 --> 00:09:26.200 on the radio. 174 00:09:26.279 --> 00:09:26.639 I think. 175 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:30.679 Did you get the email this week about I think 176 00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:32.120 I was the one who made it happen? 177 00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:33.039 Oh, no, we do. 178 00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:35.320 It was it was about we're not allowed to say 179 00:09:35.360 --> 00:09:37.240 any bad words. I saw it, and that there has 180 00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:39.240 to be like eight or ten seconds forever well to 181 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:40.679 get to that button and make it go away. 182 00:09:40.799 --> 00:09:42.480 And there was like a rider receipt attached to it's 183 00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:43.840 the show to prove that we read it. 184 00:09:44.519 --> 00:09:48.000 Yeah, I think I probably caused that. You did curse 185 00:09:48.039 --> 00:09:50.320 on the air a couple of times. Wendy, it happens. Yeah, 186 00:09:50.440 --> 00:09:54.480 it happened. I have quite a sailor mouth. My dad 187 00:09:54.559 --> 00:09:57.440 was in the navy, so when I'm off radio, people 188 00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:59.399 don't know this about me. Sailor. 189 00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:01.600 It's all good, Doctor Wendy. 190 00:10:01.639 --> 00:10:03.440 There is a word that begins with the letter F 191 00:10:03.879 --> 00:10:08.360 that is both a verb and adjective analogy. It can 192 00:10:08.360 --> 00:10:10.759 be used in so many ways. Okay, all I want 193 00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:12.039 to say is is I want to know what they're 194 00:10:12.039 --> 00:10:14.279 really fighting about, because it's not clear. There's a lot 195 00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:17.200 of tit for Tad and everybody going. But something happened 196 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:19.879 in that relationship because early on they were all friendly, 197 00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:22.440 friendly and let's get together. You know, Emily and I 198 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:24.399 were really kind of loners and we'd love to be 199 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:27.679 friends with you guys, and Ryan saying yeah, let's do it, 200 00:10:27.799 --> 00:10:31.120 and blah blah blah. All right, more is coming in 201 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:33.879 that one. Hey, Valentine's Day is also coming up. If 202 00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:38.200 you're somebody who suffers from the Valentines Day blues, I've 203 00:10:38.200 --> 00:10:40.320 got some advice for you when we come back. You 204 00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:42.440 are listening to the Dr Wendy Walsh Show on KFI 205 00:10:42.600 --> 00:10:46.679 AM six forty were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. 206 00:10:47.639 --> 00:10:51.840 You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI 207 00:10:52.080 --> 00:10:52.960 AM six forty. 208 00:10:54.200 --> 00:10:58.600 KFI AM six forty, you got Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. 209 00:10:59.159 --> 00:11:01.600 I'm dancing in the studio. That's what I'm doing. I'm 210 00:11:01.679 --> 00:11:05.039 dancing with my producer, Kayla. I just think we should 211 00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:07.799 just leave the music on, just rock back and forth 212 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:09.960 for half an hour, kind of like Trump did at 213 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:14.799 one of his campaigns, because it feels good. That's a 214 00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:15.559 great sound, Kayla. 215 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:16.000 Thank you. 216 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:17.320 By the way, did you have a good week? 217 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:18.159 I did. 218 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:20.080 I worked on my podcast next in the City of Angels. 219 00:11:20.120 --> 00:11:20.879 Make sure you tune in. 220 00:11:20.919 --> 00:11:23.360 I love the title every wee Get podcast in the 221 00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:25.559 City of Angels, Yes, which is where we are. 222 00:11:25.639 --> 00:11:26.480 Yes, ma'am. 223 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:28.720 Would you talk about this week anything else? 224 00:11:29.320 --> 00:11:32.679 Dating younger men being thirties and dating twenty somethings and 225 00:11:32.720 --> 00:11:34.120 how that just doesn't work? 226 00:11:34.159 --> 00:11:35.720 But yeah, because you know what the boys call you 227 00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:39.799 when they're in their thirties, cougars dirty something that. 228 00:11:40.759 --> 00:11:43.360 The women that this is exactly why you can't talk 229 00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:44.399 to these twenty somethings. 230 00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:45.159 They're crazy. 231 00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:48.279 Yeah, yeah, exactly, all right. So Valentine's Day coming up, 232 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:51.480 do you have any plans my podcasts? All right, just 233 00:11:51.519 --> 00:11:55.120 go work, work, work, work. So there's actually been research 234 00:11:55.159 --> 00:11:59.120 on this. There's Reacher research on everything. A study published 235 00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:01.960 in the Journal of Sciencecientific Exploration. I thought there's supposed 236 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:03.759 to be going under the season out to space, but no, 237 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:07.039 in the Journal of Scientific Exploration said he was published 238 00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:11.600 called the Valentine's Day Blues, and they found that the 239 00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:17.840 blues are a very real psychological phenomenon, phenomenon, phenomenon, and 240 00:12:17.919 --> 00:12:23.799 a form of situational depression occurs for many people in 241 00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:29.000 the weeks leading up to and even following Valentine's Day 242 00:12:29.039 --> 00:12:32.519 February fourteenth. Hey, do you know what situational depression is? 243 00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:36.240 Depression based off certain specific situations. 244 00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:39.039 Yeah, environment you know, there are other kinds of depression, 245 00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:43.759 chemical depression, postpartum depression, all seasonal, seasonal depression. Yeah, but 246 00:12:43.879 --> 00:12:47.279 situational depression is like, you know, when bad things you're 247 00:12:47.399 --> 00:12:49.879 fearing bad things coming up, a bad thing happened and 248 00:12:49.919 --> 00:12:53.039 you're feel sad about it. That's the situation that will 249 00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:55.879 be cured once you fix the situation. Yeah, you know, 250 00:12:55.960 --> 00:12:59.200 I used to have seasonal depression when I moved to 251 00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:03.679 California and the sun came out, gone gone. So here. 252 00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:08.240 According to this research, here are three reasons why Valentine's 253 00:13:08.279 --> 00:13:12.320 Day is a difficult event for very many people. First, 254 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:17.240 and Chris Merrill talked about this earlier, consumer pressures. So 255 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:21.519 there is this pressure. Society has said that if you 256 00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:25.960 love somebody, you better express that love through grand gestures, 257 00:13:26.399 --> 00:13:32.039 extravagant displays of affection, and spend some money. In fact, 258 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:36.080 according to a recent survey, Americans are expected to spend 259 00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:41.679 get this, about fourteen point two billion on Valentine's Day. 260 00:13:41.720 --> 00:13:42.639 Sure on love? 261 00:13:42.799 --> 00:13:44.279 Okay, talk about making money. 262 00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:44.639 Yeah. 263 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:47.960 So a couple weeks ago, oh, you were there when 264 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:51.080 we had the Women of Wendy's Wedding retreat in Temecula. 265 00:13:51.879 --> 00:13:54.039 A few of us did a side trip during the day. 266 00:13:54.120 --> 00:13:56.000 I wanted to pick up candles for dinner because I 267 00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.360 can't eat dinner without candles. It's my little pet peeve. 268 00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:02.039 And so while we were in the tarja that would 269 00:14:02.039 --> 00:14:04.919 be called the target, one of the moms buying all 270 00:14:04.960 --> 00:14:08.200 these adorable stuffed animals and they were little puppies holding 271 00:14:08.240 --> 00:14:10.679 Valentines and blah blah blah, and I'm like, it's not 272 00:14:10.840 --> 00:14:13.399 for like three weeks. Why are you buying these shees? 273 00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:16.200 Because all this stuff sells out. I got to get 274 00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:18.799 it early for my kids. It's like Christmas or something. 275 00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:21.440 And it is true. I was a single mom and 276 00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:24.440 I always did Valentine's they were my Valentines. So I 277 00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:27.360 did a little fun thing with chocolate and stuffed animals 278 00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:31.799 and stuff, a little fancy dinner for Valentine's Day. But 279 00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:35.279 there is pressure to spend money, right, and for those 280 00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:39.399 who don't have the money, it can increase feelings of inadequacy. 281 00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:42.840 I'm sorry. The other big one is I'm just going 282 00:14:42.919 --> 00:14:45.360 to say it Instagram. You know, the researchers call it 283 00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:50.080 the social comparison trap if you are comparing your sales 284 00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:53.639 to other people on social media, because everybody's going to 285 00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:57.559 post a great picture. I don't even know if Hulu 286 00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:00.440 and I have a plan. Oh you do have a plan. 287 00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:02.960 Do you know what our plan? I totally forgot. We're 288 00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:06.039 going on our honeymoon to be amazing. It's going to 289 00:15:06.080 --> 00:15:06.879 be an Australia. 290 00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:07.600 Oh excuse me. 291 00:15:08.120 --> 00:15:10.240 We're gonna be in Australia and I'm going to take 292 00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:13.120 a picture on Valentine's Day and everybody's gonna be jealous, 293 00:15:13.159 --> 00:15:16.279 and I don't want that to happen. You, Oh, thank you, 294 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:18.840 But I'm gonna feel bad for anybody. So should I 295 00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:20.639 only put like the ugly times. 296 00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:22.720 There no people have to deal with their own feelings. 297 00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:23.840 It's not your okay. 298 00:15:23.879 --> 00:15:26.000 Well, the social comparison trap is a bad one too, 299 00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:29.120 and then increased feelings of loneliness if you are single. 300 00:15:29.200 --> 00:15:32.840 Valentine's Day is not fun because it's all about couples, right. 301 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:33.320 You know. 302 00:15:33.320 --> 00:15:35.440 One time I was in book tour years ago, I 303 00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:39.159 don't remember, Kansas City, Cincinnati somewhere, and some bookstore owner 304 00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:42.480 thought it would be a great idea to have the 305 00:15:42.519 --> 00:15:46.759 woman who wrote the book the boyfriend test uh, you know, 306 00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:50.039 basically how to evaluate his potential before you lose your heart. 307 00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:52.799 And she was going to do a whole event with 308 00:15:52.919 --> 00:15:56.879 champagne and chocolates at her bookstore on Valentine's Day night. 309 00:15:57.759 --> 00:16:01.960 Do you think any single person would come out and say, 310 00:16:02.039 --> 00:16:05.960 this is my night, everybody see how I'm lonely? No, 311 00:16:06.279 --> 00:16:10.440 you know, came one old cat lady. So she had 312 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:12.000 a cat and or purse. That's how I knew. But 313 00:16:12.120 --> 00:16:15.519 she really was an old cat lady, Oh, I felt 314 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:18.519 so bad. Okay, listen to everybody. Practice some self compassion, 315 00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:22.840 treat yourself with kindness. Understand that it's just a day. 316 00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:26.720 It's a hallmark holiday, and you know what, this is 317 00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:29.399 a day to give love to yourself. Plan ahead for 318 00:16:29.480 --> 00:16:32.840 Valentine's Day. Some kind of self care thing. I don't 319 00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:34.720 care what is. Get a little manny patty, get a 320 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:38.159 little facial massage, get something, pick up something special to 321 00:16:38.200 --> 00:16:42.960 eat at home with your cats. No. I stayed in 322 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:45.600 Airbnb this week, and it was like not an Airbnb, 323 00:16:45.720 --> 00:16:47.399 it was an actual B and B where you stay 324 00:16:47.399 --> 00:16:49.919 in at somebody's house and it's like a bed and 325 00:16:49.960 --> 00:16:52.000 breakfast and they you sleep in one of their bedrooms. 326 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:54.240 They're a really nice older couple. As soon as I 327 00:16:54.279 --> 00:16:56.879 walked in, I saw two cats walk by, and I'm 328 00:16:56.919 --> 00:16:59.159 really allergic. I love cats, love it. Don't get me wrong, 329 00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:02.360 love love, love cat, but I'm so allergic. So it 330 00:17:02.399 --> 00:17:05.079 was a kind of sneezy night for itchy high night. 331 00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:08.960 You know what, reach out to other people, fortify your 332 00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:13.359 social connections. You need to have strong social connections to 333 00:17:13.400 --> 00:17:16.039 have good mental health. So it's on you. If you're 334 00:17:16.119 --> 00:17:18.279 alone on Valentine's Days because you didn't make the phone 335 00:17:18.279 --> 00:17:20.480 calls ahead of time and make the plans. Don't be shy. 336 00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:24.599 Call the people up, reach out, friends, family, co workers, 337 00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:28.200 say what are you doing? Also, Sigmund Freud came up 338 00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:31.480 with this a long time ago. If you give to 339 00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:35.119 somebody else acts of kindness, it is a form of sublimation. 340 00:17:35.279 --> 00:17:37.960 It's a way of caring for yourself. So ask yourself, 341 00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:41.000 who's going to be lonely on Valentine's Day? Who should 342 00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:41.480 I call? 343 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:42.079 Right? 344 00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:46.680 Do plan ahead? Okay, we got a couple weeks now, 345 00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:49.960 So plan ahead and call a therapist if you need to, 346 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:53.640 because it can bring the situational depression. Still depression, all right, 347 00:17:53.640 --> 00:17:56.400 When we come back. One woman lost one point two 348 00:17:56.480 --> 00:17:59.839 million dollars in a romance scam. You would not believe 349 00:18:00.359 --> 00:18:02.319 how many others are losing money. I'm going to tell 350 00:18:02.359 --> 00:18:05.640 you how to avoid romance scams. When we come back. 351 00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:08.039 You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on KFI 352 00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:10.839 AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. 353 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:15.640 You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI 354 00:18:15.880 --> 00:18:16.839 AM six forty. 355 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.640 KFI AM six forty you have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. 356 00:18:20.759 --> 00:18:24.160 This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. You know what, 357 00:18:24.279 --> 00:18:31.000 lonely people are most vulnerable to romance scams. You know, 358 00:18:31.079 --> 00:18:33.359 I actually fell for a romance scam once. 359 00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:34.039 Not you. 360 00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:37.079 Well, I didn't send any money. But that's here's what happens. 361 00:18:37.680 --> 00:18:40.000 This is what you don't do. Here's all. I learned 362 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:44.440 this stuff experientially, folks, not just from textbooks. So years ago, 363 00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:47.079 I was a single mom. My kids were very little. 364 00:18:47.400 --> 00:18:50.000 I couldn't get out on dates. I had no childcare whatever. 365 00:18:50.359 --> 00:18:53.160 So I made the grave error that many many people 366 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:56.319 do of getting on the dating apps, getting a ping 367 00:18:56.359 --> 00:18:59.920 from somebody and beginning a text relationship with them extan 368 00:19:00.039 --> 00:19:04.359 changing phone numbers, starting texts. There were a couple phone calls, 369 00:19:04.359 --> 00:19:06.279 but there were always problems with the calls and the 370 00:19:06.359 --> 00:19:09.640 time and whatever. And of course he was gorgeous and 371 00:19:09.680 --> 00:19:11.720 he was wealthy, and he said he didn't even know 372 00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:13.799 he was on the dating app. His sister put it 373 00:19:13.920 --> 00:19:16.119 up for him. And you know the stories, right, A 374 00:19:16.119 --> 00:19:18.559 million reasons why you couldn't get together, and blah blah 375 00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:21.759 blah blah blah. And then one night I had a 376 00:19:21.839 --> 00:19:24.640 dream I had a dream that I was trapped in 377 00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:29.359 a hotel room with a very large, very angry man, 378 00:19:29.960 --> 00:19:32.319 and I was running and trying to get out of 379 00:19:32.440 --> 00:19:36.119 the hotel room. And it was his name. And I 380 00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:38.000 called him the next day and said I had this dream, 381 00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:40.640 and he was like, what, like, you don't trust me? 382 00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:44.920 And then I realized, oh my god. I started doing 383 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:47.160 all that Internet research to really find out who he was. 384 00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:50.440 He'd used a fake name of somebody who was a 385 00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:54.119 sports reporter in Canada, well known or whatever, and he'd 386 00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:56.640 done all this stuff and anyway, I figured out he 387 00:19:56.680 --> 00:19:59.559 was a fake, and I just, you know, yelled at him. 388 00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:02.200 I said, text whatever because I disclose a lot of 389 00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:05.440 parcel stuff like people have do that. Right. So he 390 00:20:05.519 --> 00:20:08.359 never asked me for money, but he can't fish me. Right. 391 00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:14.720 So there is an extraordinary romance scam that has been 392 00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:19.880 making headlines around the world, and sadly, the victim, the 393 00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:23.240 woman in her fifties, is being mocked by the world 394 00:20:23.480 --> 00:20:26.079 for her naivete And I want to tell you it 395 00:20:26.079 --> 00:20:30.319 can happen to anybody. Her name is Anne. She's a 396 00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:34.839 French woman in her fifties. A French TV broadcast about 397 00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:40.000 her she ended up paying one point two million dollars 398 00:20:40.039 --> 00:20:43.559 to swindlers posing as get this. Have you seen the 399 00:20:43.559 --> 00:20:47.480 pictures online a sickly looking brad Pit. Now, when I 400 00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:50.720 look at those pictures, I'm a little savvy. I can 401 00:20:50.759 --> 00:20:53.039