Speaker 1: The worst April Fool's Day joke. And when I say worst,
Speaker 1: it means I mean it was really good and clever,
Speaker 1: but it backfired hugely. Probably twenty twenty five years ago,
Speaker 1: we had an idea to do commercials on the radio
Speaker 1: that were fake, called Pets bymail dot com. And this
Speaker 1: is when the Internet was blown up and everything was
Speaker 1: like on the internet and like, you know whatever, So
Speaker 1: it was still kind of a new shiny toy. So
Speaker 1: we said, okay, let's make this funny commercial that's fake. Hey,
Speaker 1: you want a new pet. All you gotta do is
Speaker 1: go on our website pets bymail dot com. We got
Speaker 1: everything from bearded dragons to poodles to little kitty cats
Speaker 1: to parakeets. Pick out your pet. We will deliver your
Speaker 1: pet alive to you within forty eight hours. If by
Speaker 1: any chance, the pet doesn't arrive alive, simply return the
Speaker 1: carcass for a full refund.
Speaker 2: Oh geez.
Speaker 1: And we use the word carcass. Yeah, And then people
Speaker 1: were like, what do you guys do? What is this
Speaker 1: horrible thing? And then so on April Fool's Day. The
Speaker 1: commercials ran for like four or five days before on
Speaker 1: April Fool's day the website went live pets bymail dot
Speaker 1: com and then it said April fool Yeah, but it
Speaker 1: backfired because people were just furious that we would do
Speaker 1: something like that, even when we didn't. So it spread
Speaker 1: all over the country from all of these pet groups.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say, didn't PETA get involved or.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, but I remember getting because what
Speaker 1: people could do is they could look up the email
Speaker 1: address of the person who founded or branded or whatever
Speaker 1: the website. That was me, and also my home address
Speaker 1: in chan Hassen, which is not my home anymore. We've
Speaker 1: moved a couple of times since then, and so people
Speaker 1: were writing from all over the country, this is despicable,
Speaker 1: this is detestable, this is sick. And then I would
Speaker 1: say it's a joke. And what I've noticed is that
Speaker 1: some people when they get fooled, they don't like it,
Speaker 1: Like with the waitress thing that I did five or
Speaker 1: six or eight years ago, where I mouthed off to
Speaker 1: the waitress. Once people found out that it was a joke,
Speaker 1: they didn't like the fact that they got fooled. So
Speaker 1: they were still angry and said, you don't joke about that,
Speaker 1: that's not funny. Even some of the media said, Dave
Speaker 1: Ryan doesn't know what a joke is.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh, And it was like, no, bitch, it's because you
Speaker 1: got fooled and you didn't like it. With the pets thing,
Speaker 1: you could definitely argue that you don't joke about things
Speaker 1: like that, but people definitely were pissed.
Speaker 4: It was like, in your defense, a very different time
Speaker 4: back then, because now we're thinking until like societal standard
Speaker 4: at this point in life, and I just feel like
Speaker 4: it was a different time back then.
Speaker 2: No, it was.
Speaker 1: I mean there was a different brand or standard for humor,
Speaker 1: and it was definitely pushing the envelope. There's no question. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a knock at my door. Oh, I opened the door.
Speaker 1: There's a Carver County Sheriff deputy thing gosh, because he
Speaker 1: had been told the Sheriff's apartment had been alerted to
Speaker 1: the fact that there was a puppy mill being run
Speaker 1: out of this house in Chanhassen.
Speaker 3: Gosh.
Speaker 1: And I said, it's a joke. It's an April Fool's joke.
Speaker 1: It's gotten out of hand, it's blown way up. He's like, well,
Speaker 1: you need to take the website down. And I'm like
Speaker 1: don't worry. We already did, but it doesn't matter. People
Speaker 1: are still up in arms about the whole thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: pets bymail dot com. And you're right, we would never
Speaker 1: do anything like that. No, not anymore, because you know,
Speaker 1: it's just a different sort of world. We did one
Speaker 1: maybe ten ishu years ago. Minnesota Parks and Lakes Department,
Speaker 1: which there isn't one, had a website that we took
Speaker 1: out that said no motorcraft allowed on Lake Minnetonka this
Speaker 1: summer good and people were freaked out because that's what
Speaker 1: people look forward to, their boats and jet skis out
Speaker 1: on Lake Minnetonka. Well, no motorized watercraft on Lake Minnetaka
Speaker 1: according to Minnesota Trails and Lakes.
Speaker 3: Or whatever it was, right, something that doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: And people totally bought that one. That was a little
Speaker 1: bit more harmless, yeah, because nobody went to you know,
Speaker 1: nobody like protested or anything like that. We did another
Speaker 1: one one time, and this is one of my favorites,
Speaker 1: where we said we're gonna fly a helicopter over a
Speaker 1: park in Crystal or wherever it was and drop fifty
Speaker 1: dollar bills. This morning, seven o'clock be in this park
Speaker 1: in crystal. The KDWB chopper is going to drop fifty
Speaker 1: dollars bills. So this place was packed with people wanting
Speaker 1: fifty dollar bills. The helicopter arrives and it starts dropping
Speaker 1: fifty dollar bills fifty dollars invoices like a bill, like
Speaker 1: you owe us fifty dollars. So it was a bill,
Speaker 1: not cash.
Speaker 3: H I don't think i've heard that one before.
Speaker 2: That was a fun one.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, you think's got a helicopter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, Well a friend of mine had a helicopter, okay,
Speaker 1: and so we had use of a helicopter and we
Speaker 1: did it a couple of time, a couple of different
Speaker 1: things with it. People laughed at that one, and people
Speaker 1: still remember that one and they laughed. But now you
Speaker 1: got to figure somebody would say, like I sprained my
Speaker 1: ankle running for the helicopter, and I deserve money.
Speaker 3: I had to take work off.
Speaker 1: Wow, So we don't do anything like that anymore. So
Speaker 1: remember what we did last year?
Speaker 2: You were not here?
Speaker 3: I think I was like, no, I wasn't here here.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: We said that they open up a bowling alley.
Speaker 3: Underneath our I heard it though, like on area, so you.
Speaker 1: Could hear bowling pins crashing through the entire show, and
Speaker 1: we're like, god, they install the built a bowling alley
Speaker 1: underneath us and you can hear it. Yeah, And that
Speaker 1: was harmless and innocuous because nobody's going to protest about
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 5: They have to be like harmless now or else people
Speaker 5: get mad in general, Like in all all April Fool's jokes,
Speaker 5: you can't like hurt anybody with it, right.
Speaker 1: We were going to say one that the Vikings are
Speaker 1: moving to Salt Lake City, and then we quickly ruled
Speaker 1: that out because the Vikings are good clients of ours
Speaker 1: and we didn't want to piss off the Vikings.
Speaker 5: Yea.
Speaker 1: So then we said, okay, well, let's put a cricket
Speaker 1: sound like chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp all through the radio
Speaker 1: station all morning and then wait for people to call
Speaker 1: in and say, why do I hear a cricket? We're like,
Speaker 1: what a cricket? And then we would say, oh, there's
Speaker 1: a cricket in the transmitter, as if that would transmit
Speaker 1: over the radio, and we just decided not to do
Speaker 1: anything at all. Yeah, So that way we can't get
Speaker 1: in any trouble.
Speaker 3: We got pas, which is nice, well, not really.
Speaker 1: An April Fool's joke, but you did pull one on
Speaker 1: me that I actually think is really funny.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Bailey writes up these headlines and it says new law
Speaker 1: requires Minnesotans to show ID to buy phallic foods, which
Speaker 1: I thought was really funny, like you got to be
Speaker 1: at least eighteen years old by a cucumber or a
Speaker 1: hot dog.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And people were texting in because they didn't catch you,
Speaker 5: saying that it was a joke that I pulled on
Speaker 5: you at the beginning, and so then people were.
Speaker 3: Like, which costco is this? I can't believe you had
Speaker 3: to show your ID so.
Speaker 2: To buy hot dog?
Speaker 3: Good bit. Could you ever do pranks on like your
Speaker 3: parents or anything growing up?
Speaker 4: Because the one that I did that every not every,
Speaker 4: but a lot of teenage girls did was like you'd
Speaker 4: put red food dye in the toilet and then you'd be.
Speaker 2: Like, mom, oh my god, I got my pop you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did that one.
Speaker 4: And then I think I've done the rubber band around
Speaker 4: the hose on the sink.
Speaker 2: Are you seriously.
Speaker 5: I've not done I don't do pranks. I'm not like
Speaker 5: a prankster type person I like, I do hate pranks.
Speaker 5: I don't like being fooled in general. It hurts my feelings.
Speaker 5: But the while I was in the bathroom, the State
Speaker 5: Fair posted theirs and it's that like there's going to
Speaker 5: be a universal payment system at the fair called pickle chips,
Speaker 5: and they just had people like opening jars of pickles
Speaker 5: and like paying with pickles.
Speaker 2: That's funny.
Speaker 5: And because it's funny, you know it's fake. It's just cute,
Speaker 5: and I feel like that's what pranks have to be now,
Speaker 5: are cute things.
Speaker 4: The only one I saw was that the North Loop
Speaker 4: Instagram posted that next to Couzi's, which is like a
Speaker 4: staple of the North Loop, They're going to turn the
Speaker 4: open parking lot into a pick ball courts and I
Speaker 4: was like, fuck, yeah, I know it.
Speaker 3: Was a bit, but I was like, God, it'd be
Speaker 3: so cool.
Speaker 2: Though.
Speaker 1: When I was a kid, I grew up in Colorado
Speaker 1: Springs and that's right at the foot of Pike's Peak.
Speaker 1: And Pike's Peak is this big, you know what Pike's
Speaker 1: Peak is. And the paper they published a picture they
Speaker 1: photoshopped early primitive photoshop of Pike's Peak erupting. Oh, and
Speaker 1: they said, oh my gosh. Yeah, you know, once every
Speaker 1: hundred years or so, Pike's Peak erupts, and here is
Speaker 1: Pike's Peak erupting. And everybody knew Pike's Peak is not
Speaker 1: a volcano at all. But there were some people who
Speaker 1: were really pissed because, like, we're new here, we didn't
Speaker 1: realize that Pike's Peak is not a volcano. And that
Speaker 1: scared my entire families. Like, eh, okay, but.
Speaker 3: You could have just looked it up, right.
Speaker 1: But where would you look it up back then in
Speaker 1: the Incralia? Yeah, all right, emails, this is really interesting
Speaker 1: and I've noticed this on Highway seven, Jennifer writes in PSA.
Speaker 1: If you're driving on Highway seven west of the radio
Speaker 1: station towards Minnetonka, there are cameras watching you, and they
Speaker 1: are there are these things that are parked alongside of
Speaker 1: the road, and there are things that hover over the
Speaker 1: road on a on a like a little beam or whatever.
Speaker 1: They are cameras watching if you're doing anything other than
Speaker 1: keeping your eyes on the road. The local police department
Speaker 1: tested this new AI technology using cameras that take a
Speaker 1: picture of you and can see if your hands are
Speaker 1: on your phone, eating a sandwich or anything else distracting
Speaker 1: you from driving. In their testing data phase in February
Speaker 1: ten thousand instances of distracted driving, the camera is alert
Speaker 1: police within three seconds and then decide if a traffic
Speaker 1: stop is necessary. So keep your eyes on the road
Speaker 1: and stay safe, y'all.
Speaker 2: Good to know.
Speaker 4: Okay, guys, I have a question for you. Have you
Speaker 4: ever heard of just like painting your countertops instead of
Speaker 4: just getting new countertops?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: Never, Okay, So I'm trying to make my kitchen not
Speaker 4: look like it's from the nineteen sixties. And I was
Speaker 4: texting with Tina, and Tina has I mean, she used
Speaker 4: to do like graphic design digital stuff for us here
Speaker 4: at the radio station, so she's got a really good
Speaker 4: eye for design, and so I was sending her pictures
Speaker 4: of the kitchen and she's like, well, you should try this.
Speaker 4: And basically, you paint your countertops and you can make
Speaker 4: them look marbled. So you paint it like white, and
Speaker 4: then you have this other I don't know, some kind
Speaker 4: of paint that you kind of like draw lines in
Speaker 4: it that look like branches or whatever, and you kind
Speaker 4: of I don't know what the word is yeah or
Speaker 4: something like that. Whatever you put like some kind of
Speaker 4: coating on top and whatever, and it looks literally like
Speaker 4: your countertops are brand new. So the kid for that's
Speaker 4: like one hundred and sixty bucks versus brand new countertops
Speaker 4: are going to set me back a few.
Speaker 3: Thousand thousands, yeah, And I just I'm not going to
Speaker 3: do that right now.
Speaker 4: So I ordered the kit online and I think it
Speaker 4: comes this weekend, and I think I'm going to attempt
Speaker 4: to do it this weekend. Tina did offer to help me,
Speaker 4: because she did help her friend do it once, so
Speaker 4: I'm a little bit nervous. But if anyone listening has
Speaker 4: done something like this and you have tips, I would
Speaker 4: love to hear it, because I've never done a project
Speaker 4: like this, And basically, if I fuck it up, that
Speaker 4: means I am going to be spending like thousands of
Speaker 4: dollars on.
Speaker 5: New countertops, yeah, because then you have screwed it up, yeah,
Speaker 5: past the point of just having crappy countertops to begin with.
Speaker 4: But I'm kind of excited just because I like to
Speaker 4: cook and bake and stuff, and I hate my kitchen
Speaker 4: so much. It's literally like the vibe is so often
Speaker 4: there and so I just I.
Speaker 3: Want it to be nice.
Speaker 1: Is it a kitchen from like, I mean, your house
Speaker 1: is built probably in the fifties something like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, it's like every Saint Louis Park house looks
Speaker 4: very similar. I don't have an alley kitchen. Most Saint
Speaker 4: Louis Park houses have like alley kitchens where it's just
Speaker 4: like you walk in and there's countertops on your left
Speaker 4: and right. Okay, mine's actually like a square shape. Okay,
Speaker 4: but it's just the countertops are old. The cabinets are
Speaker 4: so fucking old, and they look so.
Speaker 2: The original I think, so they might be from the fifties.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I plan on probably doing something with the
Speaker 4: cabinets as well, like painting those. But also that's another
Speaker 4: thing that's so expensive, and I have a lot of
Speaker 4: cabinets in my kitchen. Yeah, it would cost so much money.
Speaker 4: So I think I'm gonna paint those and get new candles,
Speaker 4: and hopefully soon enough my kitchen will look a lot
Speaker 4: less like it's from the fifties or sixties.
Speaker 1: It's funny how kitchens age so poorly. Our house is
Speaker 1: built in like ninety six or something like that, and
Speaker 1: the kitchen is very very dated. Our whole house is
Speaker 1: dated looking. I mean it's you know, it was the
Speaker 1: style back then. We have a jacuzzie tub. Those are
Speaker 1: very outdated. Now nobody wants a jacuzie tub. They all
Speaker 1: want a soaking tub. We've got brass door fixtures that
Speaker 1: are a handle, not a knob, six panel doors, and
Speaker 1: it's very dated. But you're right, Jenny, it's like to
Speaker 1: bring it up to modernization. It's so expensive.
Speaker 3: It is so expensive.
Speaker 1: What is your count, what's the what's your material? What's
Speaker 1: your countertop material? Is it stone? Is it isn't?
Speaker 3: No, it's definitely not wood. It's not would either.
Speaker 4: I just feel like it looks like some cheap countertop
Speaker 4: you'd have in an apartment complex.
Speaker 3: Like I don't know, it's.
Speaker 2: Just is it for Micah? I mean, if you is it?
Speaker 2: Is it good?
Speaker 1: These things you're with little laminates of stuff over the top.
Speaker 1: Is it laminated?
Speaker 4: Maybe that's what I would define it as. Okay, but
Speaker 4: it's it's very The design of it is ugly. It
Speaker 4: doesn't look remotely modern whatsoever. So the point is I'm
Speaker 4: gonna paint these bad boys, see how it goes, and
Speaker 4: if I screwed up, I screwed up. The one thing
Speaker 4: I didn't learn was that you do have to It
Speaker 4: stains easily with this like paint stuff, so you do
Speaker 4: have to make sure you're constantly like cleaning the countertops.
Speaker 2: Oh, which is fine because that's.
Speaker 4: Like one of my number one things I do do.
Speaker 4: I'm always cleaning the countertops after like cooking and stuff,
Speaker 4: So I don't think that'll be a problem.
Speaker 2: Okay, interesting, Well, you'll have to let us know how
Speaker 2: that goes.
Speaker 3: I pictures.
Speaker 4: I'll come in Monday crying because I screwed up my kitchen,
Speaker 4: or I'll be really excited.
Speaker 1: Good luck, Jenny, I believe in you. Send your emails
Speaker 1: in to Ryan's show at katwbeat dot com. We'd love
Speaker 1: to get you on the next Minnesota.
Speaker 2: Goodbye.