Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, Welcome to episode five of Space Pirates. Dudd
Speaker 1: is a Dragon's home. I'm here as always with Rick Plan.
Speaker 1: Just try face hello.
Speaker 2: I'm Rick Plan. I'll be making sure I think of
Speaker 2: some kind of plan to get us out of whatever
Speaker 2: sticky situation we end up in. Quite literally from last time,
Speaker 2: as we've just gone through a motive treacle.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing the one liners because you know, the
Speaker 1: votes are in, the polls are in. Everybody hated them.
Speaker 1: Nobody liked them. I don't think a single person found
Speaker 1: them enjoyable. Had three emails about them saying never do
Speaker 1: it again.
Speaker 3: If you just went for the comedy aspect instead of
Speaker 3: trying to offend us, I think people would have liked
Speaker 3: them all. Well, but you have a you have a
Speaker 3: viewership of empaths that sends my distress.
Speaker 1: Okay, right, well, next time, maybe I'll do that about
Speaker 1: the characters and not the players. Yeah that you know,
Speaker 1: we have a you know we're we're speaking of we're here,
Speaker 1: which what are you? Sigma?
Speaker 3: Hello, I am Sigma.
Speaker 1: I'm here with Crack taking one on one.
Speaker 3: I'm Crag.
Speaker 4: I'm here currently, I am not I do not have
Speaker 4: a Scottish accent yet, but that might change in the future.
Speaker 1: I don't have context for anybody listening to the recorded version.
Speaker 1: It's just the first thing that say is I do
Speaker 1: not have a Scottish accent yet, Like it's a threat,
Speaker 1: and I'm here with conquest the vita.
Speaker 5: The great flow, bey with you, oh.
Speaker 3: The crowd flow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the first it's the first time to Vina said
Speaker 1: it as well. Oh that's something like.
Speaker 3: Cannon speaking to the viewers. Canon. Hmmm is that canon?
Speaker 4: Wait a minute, are you like an evangelist? Was Navena
Speaker 4: an evangelist this entire time?
Speaker 1: Sorry? Yeah, she was part of a religious that wash
Speaker 1: thing she put a bishop. She's religious, that's what. Well,
Speaker 1: she wasn't like trying to convert us to something.
Speaker 6: So yeah, I guess so, I guess it's a common
Speaker 6: It's a common saying for Vellunari to say of religion,
Speaker 6: perfect made the great flow guide you, etcetera, etcetera.
Speaker 3: Yah, Yeah, it's okay, all right.
Speaker 1: Well, well, welcome everybody. Where we left off our party.
Speaker 1: They were standing, well, most of them were standing atop
Speaker 1: the walls of the Kingdom, the Candy Kingdom city. I
Speaker 1: described it very well last time, and I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do it again. Last week's episode there was sweet
Speaker 1: Buildings of plenty in this kingdom.
Speaker 3: Crag is sweet building. Yeah, five points.
Speaker 1: Crag is out. So I like to imagine it's like
Speaker 1: sim cities. But every time you build a city building,
Speaker 1: there's a guy that goes sweet building and you get
Speaker 1: five points. That's how in the Eon veil, that's how
Speaker 1: cities are constructed.
Speaker 3: That's how it's built.
Speaker 4: All right, Okay, and Craig is still outside. I'm outside
Speaker 4: on the other side, opposite end of the moat. I'm
Speaker 4: just gonna be like, all right, well, time to do
Speaker 4: what I do best until they get me in. And
Speaker 4: I just take out a sign that says, you know,
Speaker 4: looking for work, like I'm a homeless man, and I
Speaker 4: just sit I just stand there and just wait for
Speaker 4: somebody to approach me.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, we got to get to that in.
Speaker 1: A second, ye Would you like to remind the audience
Speaker 1: what your plan is?
Speaker 2: Well, correct me if I'm wrong, But we need to
Speaker 2: make our way across into the city. Currently there are
Speaker 2: three of us standing on the walls of the city.
Speaker 2: We could quite easily drop down into city and.
Speaker 1: Let's spud with Crag or is Spud with you guys?
Speaker 3: Spots in the.
Speaker 1: Fridge spots, haven't we So yeah, you've got Pocket and Crumb.
Speaker 2: So our team drops down over the walls into the city.
Speaker 2: We now need to get Crag effectively across the drawbridge. Now,
Speaker 2: a large mountain with a giant fridge walking across may
Speaker 2: attract some attention. So my plan is this. We approach
Speaker 2: Crag effectively leaving the city shouting in a way that
Speaker 2: all the guards can hear. My goodness, the ashcar emissary
Speaker 2: is here. Crag, being the ashcar emissary, walks across the
Speaker 2: bridge and all the guards will go obviously it's the
Speaker 2: ashcar emissary. Let's walk him into the big main castle
Speaker 2: building and nothing will go wrong.
Speaker 3: I have no problem with this idea. All right, this
Speaker 3: is great.
Speaker 1: Say this out loud to the group on top of
Speaker 1: the wall, like you.
Speaker 2: I like to think that I've been explaining it to
Speaker 2: them as we've been kind of resting on the top
Speaker 2: of the wall. They're like, are we all still okay
Speaker 2: with that plan?
Speaker 5: How do we convince them that he actually is the emissary?
Speaker 1: Sorry, Crumb, says the ash What is the ash cart
Speaker 1: what does that mean, because that's just saying that's like
Speaker 1: saying he's the human emissary.
Speaker 3: Oh that's the great thing. Nobody actually knows what an
Speaker 3: emissary does. No, it is because all we need to
Speaker 3: do is convince the other guards. I suppose the guards.
Speaker 3: I'm not one. I'm just seeing myself as one.
Speaker 2: Now, convince the guards that he is an emissary, which
Speaker 2: is a very important sounding word, and they'll be the
Speaker 2: guard thinking, well, I don't want to be the one
Speaker 2: to stop the emissary.
Speaker 3: Best support him.
Speaker 1: Pocket goes, Yeah, I mean it sounds great to me.
Speaker 4: As long as you don't roll a successive series of
Speaker 4: like twos and threes, you should be good on this.
Speaker 2: Yeaheah, absolutely, this can't found me. The worst The worst
Speaker 2: thing that will happen is they don't believe me. And
Speaker 2: if that happens, then I'm sure Crag will say something
Speaker 2: remarkably clever. The man went to college, for God's sake.
Speaker 4: I think the worst thing that happens is somehow through
Speaker 4: this you end up back in the seyrum.
Speaker 1: People in this kingdom is they drown them headfirst into
Speaker 1: the cyrus yrup, like from on top of this wall.
Speaker 3: Can we can we see the front gate of the city.
Speaker 1: Uh, yeah, well you're quite You decided to go quite
Speaker 1: a way around right, like so that you you know,
Speaker 1: you're not in view of any guards that are by
Speaker 1: the gates, but you.
Speaker 7: Can see it in the distance. What's the general like
Speaker 7: mood of the streets? Is it in riots?
Speaker 3: Much like the central capital area was? No? This area?
Speaker 1: This area is quite chill. Actually, people, you've got you've
Speaker 1: got candy monks on the street. Actually, the mood here
Speaker 1: is surprisingly cheery, like there's some sort of celebration going on.
Speaker 3: Right. People look happy.
Speaker 1: There's bunting made of suites of ones that look like
Speaker 1: bunting going through the city.
Speaker 3: Wait, captain, if you don't remind me pointing out the
Speaker 3: mood in the city seems very festive and cheery. Our
Speaker 3: friend Craig might have no problem walking through the front gate.
Speaker 3: It might even be something we can use to our advantage.
Speaker 3: We can effectively party it up. We can be excited
Speaker 3: to see him, we can get everyone else excited. We
Speaker 3: can say he's part of the festivities as well. It
Speaker 3: might even be a good information gathering exercise if we
Speaker 3: talk to some of the locals and see exactly what's
Speaker 3: going on.
Speaker 1: Crag.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, you are approached by somebody right.
Speaker 4: Oh, by the way, I make sure to write on
Speaker 4: my sign I college educated.
Speaker 3: Right there you go. I have an associates at least.
Speaker 1: So a big burly man approaches youther, sir, he doesn't
Speaker 1: look like he's from the candy Kingdom?
Speaker 3: Okay, what does he look like?
Speaker 1: He's he's got scrap stuff all over himself, like bits
Speaker 1: of metal attached to his body, and like it looks
Speaker 1: like smoke is coming off him as well. And he
Speaker 1: goes all right, looks as you're looking for work, I've
Speaker 1: got a job for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh that's great. I'm good at doing all these jobs.
Speaker 4: Hey have a side point. Are you on fire right now?
Speaker 4: Because if not, I think you should probably take care
Speaker 4: of that. No, the smoke is normal, all right. Just
Speaker 4: wanted to double check. I'm I'm I'm made of fire
Speaker 4: myself a little bit. I got a beating ashcar magma heart.
Speaker 3: Yeah you do, yeah too, isn't it.
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you your signs as you do any job.
Speaker 3: I'll do any job.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about domestic terrorism?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 4: Boy, now, Craig, what have you gotten in yourself into
Speaker 4: this time. I'm gonna have to consult that with my
Speaker 4: partner here. All right, Well, it's fun the Chosen One.
Speaker 1: It's been enough time. I think he would wake up
Speaker 1: by now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what's going on? Oh do you uh? As the
Speaker 4: Chosen One? As the kosh Karar or whatever I called you?
Speaker 3: Do you?
Speaker 4: How do you feel about domestic terrorism?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a poored by it. It's kind of what
Speaker 1: I assumed you were already when I first met you.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm the bodyguard for Rick planned, but
Speaker 4: that song kind of I'm on sabbatical at the moment,
Speaker 4: and I'm waiting to try to Yeah, so this guy
Speaker 4: right here, this this stand up fella right here.
Speaker 3: What's your name?
Speaker 4: By the way, fuse fuse? I like, is this guy huge?
Speaker 4: Is he's like my size?
Speaker 1: He's a human, but he's I would he's a big guy.
Speaker 1: I would say, Okay, he's like six foot seven, Oh.
Speaker 4: Okay, you know what, I'm gonna reach out and and
Speaker 4: try to like like just like shake his hand and
Speaker 4: not as accepting his job, but like as like an introduction.
Speaker 3: This handshake is like.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, it's good.
Speaker 3: You can tell about a person's handshake.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good, but he twitches a lot when he
Speaker 1: so he vibrates as a strong vibrator.
Speaker 4: Oh all right, okay, whoa. I like those vibrations you're
Speaker 4: giving off.
Speaker 1: All right, Well you don't from the candy Kingdom. So
Speaker 1: I fell here with a similar sort of you know,
Speaker 1: motives offer and I.
Speaker 4: Is this job taking place in the city, because I
Speaker 4: do have to rendezvous with some of my friends in
Speaker 4: the city. Yes, all right, okay, then you know what,
Speaker 4: get us into the city and then we'll talk about
Speaker 4: it afterwards.
Speaker 3: I'm still trying to figure out that part.
Speaker 1: Oh, so you don't know how to get I was
Speaker 1: hoping that's the job I was going to give you,
Speaker 1: was to help me get into the city.
Speaker 3: While this is happening, Can I tend a sigma?
Speaker 2: I don't mean to rush anyone, but I do fear
Speaker 2: the longer we leave Crag alone, he wants to.
Speaker 3: Be some kind of emissary.
Speaker 2: As long as he's not standing there with the ball
Speaker 2: saying looking for work, considering terrorism, I'm sure we'll be open.
Speaker 3: At this point, we're definitely descending down one last thing
Speaker 3: with him, though.
Speaker 4: When he says that to me, I'm just gonna be like, well,
Speaker 4: I could throw you over the wall if you'd like.
Speaker 3: And it's just a reading.
Speaker 1: That sounds like a perfect idea. Let's try it out.
Speaker 3: Let's do it. I try to.
Speaker 1: Luckily, it's only one guy, so you don't roll with disadvantage,
Speaker 1: just roll strength or athletics. I brought my own tree.
Speaker 9: You critically fail, he goes straight into that.
Speaker 1: You actually just throw him into the syrup. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: he's quite strong.
Speaker 3: There's no weird can we have Can we have paced
Speaker 3: out of the We've descended the wall, We've walked it
Speaker 3: on the main street. If we see the main gate,
Speaker 3: can we just see through it of crack picking up
Speaker 3: a guard viewable for the main gate.
Speaker 1: You guys have no idea that he think he's just
Speaker 1: killed a guy. The thing is, though, I think you
Speaker 1: have prevented a terrorist incident? Is what you have done.
Speaker 4: I threw I do that, I throw them in and
Speaker 4: he just goes right into the syrup. I'm like, every job,
Speaker 4: why does this keep?
Speaker 3: I'm not even gonna have him.
Speaker 1: I think with a critical fail, he is just gonna
Speaker 1: die in the city.
Speaker 3: I just kill like the fucking enemy of this entire session.
Speaker 3: You have saved the city.
Speaker 2: That's my emissary right there, that's the emissary of.
Speaker 1: The Okay, all right, we cut back of the the
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: Believe you wrote a crypt fail. I can't either.
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, okay, you're back in the city.
Speaker 3: You're now descended by the inside of the city. We're
Speaker 3: approaching the main gates.
Speaker 1: Are you approaching the main gates? I thought you were
Speaker 1: going to walk around and talk to people.
Speaker 3: Are walk toward the main gate?
Speaker 2: Can we turn to one of the citizens next to
Speaker 2: us at one of the monks, Navina, are you with
Speaker 2: us as well?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I was thinking maybe we should split up. It's
Speaker 5: quite a lot of ground to cover.
Speaker 3: If you get roped into domestic terrorism. If you yeah,
Speaker 3: that's unlikely to happen, Navina. If you wish to take
Speaker 3: some kind of high ground and keep over watch on
Speaker 3: as I believe that Sigma and I will walk up
Speaker 3: to the main gate and attempts to greet Crag in
Speaker 3: an emissarial way to then bring him into the city.
Speaker 3: I see, Wait, are we spitting up?
Speaker 1: Says his pocket.
Speaker 3: Navina, Do you want Pocket to accompany you?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I am going off of my own.
Speaker 1: This place is full of bounty. It's that's a joke,
Speaker 1: because that's a chocolate.
Speaker 2: I know that you're not going to have too many
Speaker 2: objections if I asked you the question, do you want
Speaker 2: pocket to go away?
Speaker 3: I think this is a great opportunity for him to
Speaker 3: get someone a long time pocket.
Speaker 2: Go and do whatever you want to do. I'm sure
Speaker 2: you'll turn up again at some kind of opportunity of time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, see, you're around if you If you want me,
Speaker 1: you know where to find me.
Speaker 3: I seen turns to stigma and go. I have no
Speaker 3: idea where to find not the clue.
Speaker 1: Okay, he goes right off?
Speaker 2: Hang over Watch. Yes you're okay, taking Crumb with you.
Speaker 2: I'm sure he won't be a bother of course.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, slick.
Speaker 2: With Novena and go on to Overwatch. Ideally on the
Speaker 2: rooftop somewhere right, Let's go and greet the emissary.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll be Tracy.
Speaker 3: Okay, No Crumb and Avena is all? Okay? Can we okay? Oh,
Speaker 3: I'm swearing. Speak to the guards.
Speaker 1: You want to stop. Speak to the guards near the
Speaker 1: front gate.
Speaker 2: Yes, ideally, Okay, need to gather some information, Sigma, do
Speaker 2: you wish to ask the guards about what the events
Speaker 2: going on?
Speaker 3: Specifically? Is? We need some specifics here? Can I grab
Speaker 3: a random civilian instead of the guard?
Speaker 1: Okay, you can grab a rando civilian.
Speaker 3: You there, random civilian? Oh hello, the mored in the
Speaker 3: city seems very good. What is happening right now?
Speaker 4: Have you not, hud?
Speaker 3: Is it your first day in town? Perhaps?
Speaker 1: Perhaps the princess is getting married. The ceremony is tomorrow morning.
Speaker 1: It is like late evening right now. To be fair,
Speaker 1: I would say, because you guys always traveled across the
Speaker 1: whole day.
Speaker 3: Wonderful. The princess is getting married to the roly poly duke.
Speaker 3: The roly poly duke, you say, yes, Oh, and the
Speaker 3: king will be in attendance. To find a pen and
Speaker 3: write all this down. Bloody hell, that's a lot of information.
Speaker 3: Royal wedding, Yes, okay, excellent. Where will it be held
Speaker 3: in the palace?
Speaker 1: But you must have an invitation if you were to attend.
Speaker 1: I wish I had an invitation, but I am just
Speaker 1: a lonely sugar farmer.
Speaker 3: Ah. Yes, if only we could all ascend such heights. Well,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for the information. Go back to
Speaker 3: your farm.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm taking a break right now. It's a public holiday.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I enjoy the festivities.
Speaker 1: I will ye. And he runs away. He does that
Speaker 1: little jump like he was killing together. Yeah, it's got
Speaker 1: like a trail of sugar that leaves behind him as
Speaker 1: he goes. Oh, okay, he's having a great time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, excellent work there, Segma.
Speaker 2: We've gathered some information the roly Holy Duke is marrying
Speaker 2: the princess, and we'll work out getting one of those
Speaker 2: invitations later. How many guards are currently up the gate
Speaker 2: if we if we were to attempt to get the four
Speaker 2: guards corently watching the gate. Okay, how how dangerous are
Speaker 2: they looking?
Speaker 1: Well, they they look a bit concerned that one of
Speaker 1: their friends is missing. So they are actually talking to
Speaker 1: each other actively. And you know, if you, if you're
Speaker 1: I think Sigma would be able to maybe here are
Speaker 1: They are saying, yeah, your ears puck up. They are
Speaker 1: saying things to the effect of, we.
Speaker 3: Always have come back in a while. I'm sure it's nothing.
Speaker 1: He's probably just hitting his candy vape's.
Speaker 3: Or gum flavored.
Speaker 1: You know, he always loves the rip of.
Speaker 3: The guard that we killed. How how big were they
Speaker 3: compared to me?
Speaker 1: They were humans, I'd say, so were humans.
Speaker 2: I'd like to turn to Siam and go, yeah, Sigma,
Speaker 2: I think I've got a plan.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, sorry. The guards that you killed the Twizzler,
Speaker 1: they were they were tau. They were taller than you.
Speaker 4: The know the He's just a human, He's.
Speaker 3: Fantastic, Sigma.
Speaker 2: If I was to be able to convince those three
Speaker 2: guards that I was their missing friend and I was
Speaker 2: escorting you to the castle, then you will be able
Speaker 2: to greet Crag as the emissary and they will ask
Speaker 2: fewer questions.
Speaker 3: Aren't we coming the wrong way for that?
Speaker 7: Though? No?
Speaker 3: Not if they think I'm their guard. But they must
Speaker 3: have shat got out the front. Let's not question this
Speaker 3: plan too.
Speaker 1: It's the Sigma realizing that Rick's plans are not as
Speaker 1: good as he once thought.
Speaker 5: What I'm thinking is maybe earlier we spent a long
Speaker 5: time overthinking and over planning, and we got stuck in
Speaker 5: some triacle.
Speaker 3: Maybe this time we just we just do. Are you
Speaker 3: suggesting and believe me? I am bloody well on board
Speaker 3: with this that you and I employ what I like
Speaker 3: to call the clipboard effect, where we simply walk through
Speaker 3: as if we belong and don't stop if someone questions us.
Speaker 3: Just so, I think if we walk through confidently and
Speaker 3: we say emissary, emissary, where are you, and he comes
Speaker 3: over and we walk through the city, I think maybe
Speaker 3: they won't ask any questions at all.
Speaker 2: I think this is a bloody good plan. The only
Speaker 2: possible wild card is Crag and I can't wait to
Speaker 2: see what he does with this, So let's just give
Speaker 2: it a go.
Speaker 1: When you are Yeah, so, Craig, you did have a
Speaker 1: time that you were gonna They said to give you
Speaker 1: like twenty minutes and then you would just to walk in.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that amount of time is about
Speaker 1: to pass.
Speaker 3: I think that can we see him through? Then?
Speaker 1: I imagine, Craig, are you now going to start approaching the.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this whole job thing didn't work out, So I
Speaker 4: just put my sign away and I just like, all right,
Speaker 4: well that killed some time and a person. I guess,
Speaker 4: come on there, lord Spud, let's head on it. And
Speaker 4: I guess I'm just gonna start let's walk with style.
Speaker 3: The consequences of that. Sorry, am I I am going
Speaker 3: to walk super okay?
Speaker 5: Is he?
Speaker 3: Is? He?
Speaker 1: Staying in the fridge or is he walking by your side?
Speaker 4: Well that that's up to him. Do you want to
Speaker 4: walk or do you want to stay in the fridge
Speaker 4: or do you want to stay outside? Or what do
Speaker 4: you want to do?
Speaker 3: You want me to do? You want to ride on
Speaker 3: my shoulder?
Speaker 1: What I would be making when I woke up this morning?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yesterday? Oh he is quite bloodied. Right, he's just come
Speaker 1: back from being unconscious, but he wasn't healed, so he's like,
Speaker 1: he's still very wounded. So I think I think I
Speaker 1: might stay at the fride.
Speaker 4: Just you want to stay in the reinforced fridge? You
Speaker 4: do that? You do that, sir spud. All right, don't worry.
Speaker 4: I'll make sure we get it.
Speaker 1: I tried my best fighting and I think it knocks
Speaker 1: upsets itively.
Speaker 3: Don't worry.
Speaker 1: I'm going to try to call my wife again.
Speaker 4: You try that. The best is yet to come. You'll
Speaker 4: be all right, Okay. I I am going to walk
Speaker 4: through the gate with a level of.
Speaker 1: Like they see crag approaching, You guys, see a crag approaching.
Speaker 3: I would like to walk from the other side of
Speaker 3: the gates.
Speaker 2: Turned to Sigma nod and when we are within kind
Speaker 2: of shouting distance of Crags, and we shout over Crag
Speaker 2: emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom, welcome to our fair city.
Speaker 2: Are you excited for the wedding festivities?
Speaker 1: What's going on here?
Speaker 2: What you've not informed of the arrival of the Ashcar emissary?
Speaker 2: Notice was sent yesterday.
Speaker 1: I need a performance from Crag and a deception from
Speaker 1: Rick and I assist. Can I help the here? You
Speaker 1: can help this chip in so fifteen from Crag fucking
Speaker 1: twenty fourth Rick plan you get help if you want.
Speaker 3: But he's got it. He's got it again.
Speaker 2: Just see what happens is to help and advantage roll
Speaker 2: just in case Holy only.
Speaker 3: Made it worse.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the guards honestly are more concerned about their friend
Speaker 1: that has gone missing. So they go, oh, right, there
Speaker 1: is a wedding on after all. Yes, I'm sure, I
Speaker 1: don't know why the kingdom. And the other one goes like, but.
Speaker 3: Isn't there a war on?
Speaker 1: Like the general went to go fight, like, we shouldn't
Speaker 1: be told not to let anybody into the city, And
Speaker 1: the fourth one goes, yeah, but it's a wedding.
Speaker 3: Wave over.
Speaker 4: I wave over to Rick, and I'm just like ah, yes,
Speaker 4: I am here as the emissary. You have a lovely
Speaker 4: city and a gorgeous syrup mote, and.
Speaker 3: He doesn't look like.
Speaker 2: I'd like to overhear the guards talking about the bad
Speaker 2: they're a bit worried about all of this and kind
Speaker 2: of say a little bit too loudly, it's fantastic to
Speaker 2: have you here. As you know, the war of course rages,
Speaker 2: but marriages like this bring alliances and peace, which I
Speaker 2: believe is something that we all ultimately want.
Speaker 3: He's got a really good point. He does have a
Speaker 3: really good point.
Speaker 4: Maybe, by the way, I think I think there was
Speaker 4: a terrorist floating in the syrup. I don't know what's
Speaker 4: up with that, but it's not what happened to our friend.
Speaker 3: Stop.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys have created the perfect alibim Like
Speaker 1: the scapegoat for the guard murder would just be the terrorist.
Speaker 1: They just their buggies are floating next to each other.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like the guard just like dragged him in
Speaker 4: and they both died or something like that. Like you
Speaker 4: could easily make an alibi for that. So like, all right, I.
Speaker 3: Wink at Rick plan. All right, let's go boss, let's
Speaker 3: go there, all right, yeah's less winking.
Speaker 2: What you've done, Crag is you've come in with the
Speaker 2: energy of a child going I didn't do a very
Speaker 2: specific thing. Really suspicious that they did the specific thing
Speaker 2: that when.
Speaker 1: Crag winks it makes quite a loud crunching noise.
Speaker 4: I do it like four times too. So yeah, stone
Speaker 4: scraping together. Yes, the traditional greeting of the four winks.
Speaker 4: I'd like to return the four winks.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, and chrome, where did you guys go? So there
Speaker 1: are many places in this kingdom. You know, there's the
Speaker 1: sugar street markets, the marshmallow row, the fondant gardens, the
Speaker 1: shortbread estates, the syrup forges, the thrusting monastery.
Speaker 10: Well, I guess the best thing to do would be
Speaker 10: try and get as close to the castle as possible.
Speaker 10: Or you know, is there like is there like a
Speaker 10: parade street maybe where.
Speaker 1: The there's a street, there's a whole bunch of wedding
Speaker 1: is going to be held. The wedding is going to
Speaker 1: be in the in the wait you left before they
Speaker 1: discerned you have no idea there's a wedding on.
Speaker 10: Oh yeah, so you don't know. We're also we're also
Speaker 10: trying to figure out what's happening?
Speaker 1: Are you sure you want me to help? I'm not
Speaker 1: particularly stealthy. I'm really good with food scides, so I
Speaker 1: can tell you all about the different foods here. I
Speaker 1: could give you fun facts about all the different sweet
Speaker 1: treats here that I'm not allowed to eat. But other
Speaker 1: than that, I'm pretty useless.
Speaker 5: Well, why don't you try and find what what perhaps
Speaker 5: is the special event while I check the surrounding area?
Speaker 1: Okay, he turns round to somebody and has the exact
Speaker 1: he turns, he meets the exact same person and has
Speaker 1: that the same conversation always beat both for beat and
Speaker 1: he thinks Tonvena. Afterwards, he goes. It seems to be
Speaker 1: a wedding the princess, Princess Marsey Pan. He's marrying the
Speaker 1: roly poly duke. He's set to arrive today. Interesting, but
Speaker 1: it's happening tomorrow.
Speaker 5: Morning will be held in the castle.
Speaker 1: Hey, that's what it seems to be. But we've we've
Speaker 1: got to find some place to sleep for the night.
Speaker 10: I imagine, Yes, perhaps one second, Navena is gonna jump
Speaker 10: onto one of the roofs.
Speaker 3: Sorry, how are you doing that? Water rustage is not
Speaker 3: made of water.
Speaker 10: I'm going to expand one of my focus points to
Speaker 10: double my jump distance, right.
Speaker 3: I still don't think that makes sure jump distance like
Speaker 3: a building? Yeah, Like how big is the building? Building?
Speaker 3: Is the building tall? Connor?
Speaker 1: Can you leap half a building?
Speaker 3: Do you think can leap? Hold on Connor? Isn't a monk? Okay,
Speaker 3: you're right, I'm not a monk. Sorry.
Speaker 5: I can also take I can also think the dash action.
Speaker 3: Listen, you can just scale a building.
Speaker 1: You don't need to leap like your fucking nineteen fifty Superman.
Speaker 3: The stairs to stairs exist.
Speaker 1: Well, they would require you to go inside a building and.
Speaker 3: True, but they do exist. I just thought it'd be fun. Flavor, Wait,
Speaker 3: can we do that?
Speaker 4: I can just jump on top of a wall whenever
Speaker 4: I need to try.
Speaker 10: Just climb a building, sun Flavor. Well, yeah, it's the
Speaker 10: subtle aspect, you know, is if you're.
Speaker 1: Going to I need you to do a stealth check
Speaker 1: because obviously people are going to see you climb a building.
Speaker 3: If somebody jump twenty five feet in the middle of
Speaker 3: the street, I would, yeah, I would notice. I would
Speaker 3: call the police in.
Speaker 7: The middle of the street. I'm going down the side
Speaker 7: of the building. First, I wouldn't call the police. I
Speaker 7: would just be impressed, like, huh, superheroes exist.
Speaker 3: It s your stuff. Okay, you're doing this in the
Speaker 3: middle of the street.
Speaker 1: You are is the evening?
Speaker 3: Uh huh, it is the evening.
Speaker 1: So there's a little bit of darkness, but doesn't help you.
Speaker 1: All the lights are reflecting off your skin in this
Speaker 1: like water.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: And oh somebody, you know, somebody walks up to you,
Speaker 1: this old lady, and goes, what are you doing climbing
Speaker 1: my house?
Speaker 5: Oh? I wanted to get on top of it.
Speaker 3: Why are you one of those burglars, sugar burglars?
Speaker 5: No, no, I just wanted to see more.
Speaker 1: If you wanted to see more, my dear, you must
Speaker 1: go to the Frosting Monastery. They will open your third eye.
Speaker 7: No offense, that's the joke, your fourth time. It's just
Speaker 7: my singular third eye is just gonna blink once.
Speaker 1: That you can see more about the ways of of
Speaker 1: of of Sugar, Sugar Lord and Savior.
Speaker 5: Oh, you mean a religion.
Speaker 1: Some may call it a religion, but I call it
Speaker 1: the truth?
Speaker 3: Do we see of this or hearing of this? Walking
Speaker 3: the sorry rick.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, in this session your crew has just scattered and
Speaker 1: are getting into trouble in a way that you cannot
Speaker 1: pull raid them in.
Speaker 3: Hey, here we are. Can we go grab some cotton candy?
Speaker 4: I kind of want some cotton candy, right you?
Speaker 1: Sorry, Navina needs to deal with the old lady situation,
Speaker 1: and then we will cut back to you guys.
Speaker 5: Navina, Okay, which way is the monastery?
Speaker 1: She points up at the huge frosting monastery in the distance.
Speaker 1: It is right there, dearie.
Speaker 5: And that is quite the tall building.
Speaker 3: Oh you, it's it's bigger than my house, that's for sure.
Speaker 5: H thank you very much, of course.
Speaker 1: Praise be, Praise be the sugar gods.
Speaker 5: Yes, that one.
Speaker 1: Goodbye, and tell them that, oh, tell them that, oh
Speaker 1: she left.
Speaker 7: Leave.
Speaker 3: She enters back into her house.
Speaker 1: All she cult speak to her husband and says, I
Speaker 1: a weird young lady today. The husband goes, I don't
Speaker 1: care you, bitch.
Speaker 3: Like abuse, She goes, this is the first non like
Speaker 3: play a character cut a way we've had and for
Speaker 3: domestic yes, with terrorism, and now we're into abuse even
Speaker 3: in the aon veil.
Speaker 4: Domestic abuse still a thing that fucking sucks wrist Craig.
Speaker 1: And Sigma you have now entered the city.
Speaker 3: What are you doing?
Speaker 4: I'd like some cotton candy, just to kind of emissary.
Speaker 2: If you want to head off and find yourself in
Speaker 2: cotton candy, would you like us to join your order
Speaker 2: you wish to explore around the city, I'll just hang
Speaker 2: out with you, boss, excellent. I say we make our
Speaker 2: way toward the largest building in the city, which is
Speaker 2: potentially the castle, and see if we can somehow make
Speaker 2: our way inside.
Speaker 11: Well.
Speaker 3: The emissaries so I should just be able to walk in.
Speaker 2: So, yes, crag, I need to make this very clear
Speaker 2: to you because I don't think you understand exactly where
Speaker 2: we're going for this.
Speaker 3: You aren't actually an emissary. We are pretending you are
Speaker 3: for the purposes of deception and subterfuge. But if you
Speaker 3: are asked to make any actual diplomatic decisions, Okay, I
Speaker 3: need you to understand you are not actually an em
Speaker 3: So just.
Speaker 4: To clarify, my job is to not be the emissary,
Speaker 4: but my job is to pretend to be the emissary,
Speaker 4: which I am.
Speaker 3: Yes, all right, yes, all right. I just want to
Speaker 3: get and.
Speaker 2: What I am remarkably scared will happen is some level
Speaker 2: of international incident caused by you taking your emissarial duties
Speaker 2: far too.
Speaker 3: Seriously, that's a war the name of king. Oh, I
Speaker 3: just need to get into the building.
Speaker 4: I don't want to cause other pain. I mean, I
Speaker 4: have a pair. I have a little brother. I don't
Speaker 4: want him to get thrown in war because that's not good.
Speaker 1: Sorry new crag law.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, brother, Yeah, it's a little brother. Yeah.
Speaker 2: In that case, let's do the opposite. If you do
Speaker 2: have an emisserial ability to declare war, don't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that seems like maybe I could ease the rustage.
Speaker 4: What's the political climate of the Ashcar of versus everybody else?
Speaker 3: Right now? Is tens guy?
Speaker 1: Or are we like so the speech all of so,
Speaker 1: the main governing bodies have a sort of an agreement
Speaker 1: as part of the Coalition of Stars, right, the Ashcar
Speaker 1: Kingdom is part of the coalition.
Speaker 3: It's one of the just we just joined, and we're
Speaker 3: rather warfaring groups just joined.
Speaker 1: It has been like a thousand, like a few, like
Speaker 1: a thousand years. They're just the.
Speaker 3: Most recent to join.
Speaker 4: Okay, wow, it's been a thousand years and I'm the
Speaker 4: first one to go to college.
Speaker 3: Wow. While assimulate that that is in the law.
Speaker 1: I'm saying quite loose numbers. I don't have the exact numbers,
Speaker 1: but yes, right, okay, you are the most recent to join.
Speaker 1: But it's been a round for a while.
Speaker 3: All right, it's been around for a while, and you
Speaker 3: have your king. I started to go to college. It's
Speaker 3: basically the whole thing. That was the whole thing.
Speaker 1: The coalition has existed for long enough that there are
Speaker 1: planets and societies that are coalition like you know, then
Speaker 1: they have no kind of relation to the other kingdoms
Speaker 1: out of the jurisdiction of the kingdoms. They are just
Speaker 1: coalition areas like Gastrovia is where they have a mixture
Speaker 1: of races and such.
Speaker 3: Species. Species.
Speaker 2: Well, I say, in that case, we head toward the castle,
Speaker 2: attempt to make our way inside and find an audience
Speaker 2: with the Is it the candy king that rules this kingdom?
Speaker 3: Candy Kaiser, that's the one we asked him about. We asked, Kaiser,
Speaker 3: what's all this about? Why did we split up? Because
Speaker 3: the crumb is.
Speaker 1: Running after the vena now like never you know, what
Speaker 1: are you doing? It slowed down?
Speaker 3: You didn't even tell where you were going here. You
Speaker 3: just ran off. I'm terrible at Cardio.
Speaker 5: I got incredible. We're going to the monastery. Vida's really
Speaker 5: excited to go to a church.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, are you religious?
Speaker 3: What does it?
Speaker 5: What does the church look like?
Speaker 1: It's a giant frosting monastery. So you imagine that in like,
Speaker 1: what does that mean? You know, the the movie Together?
Speaker 4: You just that wasn't even You're just putting frosting and
Speaker 4: monastery together and hoped it would make sense.
Speaker 1: Okay, imagine Salisbury Cathedral. Uh huh, because you've been there.
Speaker 1: But then now imagine it's made out of frosting but
Speaker 1: still structurally sound somehow.
Speaker 5: Uh huh.
Speaker 3: There you go. What color is the frosting?
Speaker 1: It's like a light blue passed out five hundred and
Speaker 1: two times.
Speaker 10: But your monastery is okay.
Speaker 5: Okay, so it's a giant minister.
Speaker 3: It's incredible.
Speaker 1: I've never seen a building quite like this, besides the
Speaker 1: Global Bite's Office tower that wasn't quite big.
Speaker 5: No, the church is at home a farm or quaint really.
Speaker 5: I sent mariness is a small small Velinari planet. But yes,
Speaker 5: our churches are not not as grand as this. I've
Speaker 5: been in grand church's mind and they're normally not as
Speaker 5: white or or sticky.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know how they can live like this.
Speaker 1: I would just want to eat everything around me.
Speaker 5: Well, self restraint is one of the first things you're
Speaker 5: taught in the church.
Speaker 1: Well as well, do you have good self restraint arena?
Speaker 5: Would you say, oh yes, I would. I would say
Speaker 5: it's you know, it's touch and go.
Speaker 1: Well, what are we waiting for?
Speaker 3: Let's go in?
Speaker 5: What first we must practice self restrained?
Speaker 1: Okay, so we don't go in?
Speaker 3: Where is this we wait?
Speaker 1: Okay, I.
Speaker 3: Don't know.
Speaker 1: I felt like a family guy cut away.
Speaker 4: It's funnier than that time that we were walking through
Speaker 4: the candy stick.
Speaker 3: I really feel as if we should all be together
Speaker 3: when we go to the palace.
Speaker 2: I completely agree, however, that the element of surprise that
Speaker 2: it might include if one of us turns up at
Speaker 2: a very opportune moment, and I originally was chewing, that
Speaker 2: will be pocket, but at this point it could be
Speaker 2: Nina or Crumb.
Speaker 3: Will be crag and he oh, speaking of I just
Speaker 3: really go ahead. I was just going to say, the king,
Speaker 3: this kaiser fellow, of course he will be at the
Speaker 3: wedding tomorrow. Is that where we want to, you know,
Speaker 3: take care of him. Are you suggesting, Sigma, that we
Speaker 3: commit regicide at a wedding? Oh that's all. That's even
Speaker 3: worse than the domestic terrorism because we only need to
Speaker 3: talk to him about this whole civil war and getting
Speaker 3: the warlords on board. But the way you said take
Speaker 3: care of him kind of gave me vibes there. I
Speaker 3: said take care of him because I'm just implying, whatever
Speaker 3: needs to be done, are we doing it tomorrow at
Speaker 3: the wedding? I did whether that be a conversation, of course,
Speaker 3: no more. Ideally, if I'm going to kill a king,
Speaker 3: it would not be during a large, public, heavily guarded ceremony.
Speaker 3: It's not off the table, but it's definitely not plan
Speaker 3: a Ideally, I just want to talk to the king
Speaker 3: about ending the civil war and unlocking the lock on
Speaker 3: the ship so we can get off the stupid planet
Speaker 3: where you can't eat things unless you have a car
Speaker 3: that says you can. Yes, yes, but I do like
Speaker 3: that greatly. Yeah, So first of all, let's go into
Speaker 3: the castle. I also need to take a moment and
Speaker 3: find a picture of this king so I know what
Speaker 3: he looks like, because Bush comes to shelf. Well, I
Speaker 3: would kind of disguise myself to look like him. I
Speaker 3: was going to bring it really quick.
Speaker 4: If on the way to the castle we pass by
Speaker 4: some sort of candy pharmacy or perhaps a licorice apothecary
Speaker 4: to get some medical supplies to help. Yeah, he's yeah,
Speaker 4: that might actually because he's he's really hurting right now
Speaker 4: in my fridge.
Speaker 3: So I want to make I have spells that could
Speaker 3: heal him.
Speaker 4: That's that's okay if you want to do that, Boss,
Speaker 4: I was just be getting some supplies too.
Speaker 3: Might not be a bad idea.
Speaker 2: Supplies are the first good idea. And then if we
Speaker 2: can't find them, I will expend the spell slots to
Speaker 2: heal him. Yeah, also cast lots of spells every day.
Speaker 4: Also, if the king or I mean the Kaisers around here,
Speaker 4: there might be like pictures of them around I would assume,
Speaker 4: I mean.
Speaker 3: Exactly what I was hoping to find. Crag.
Speaker 4: We're on the same wavelengthage. Oh my god, Boss, you're awesome.
Speaker 4: All right, I'm going to survey the street to look
Speaker 4: for a apothecary.
Speaker 1: Actually, you don't need you don't need a perception for that,
Speaker 1: because there will be one.
Speaker 3: Signs yeahah, yeah, yeah, I can read. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's it's shapes like a giant can of soda. Oh,
Speaker 1: there we go, all right, and it's it's feel good
Speaker 1: fizzy drinks is what it says on the side.
Speaker 3: There it's a sharper a vending machine.
Speaker 1: No, it's a shop. It's a giant can of soda.
Speaker 1: That's the shape of a building.
Speaker 3: All right, turn to Sigma and go Stigma show.
Speaker 2: We accompany Crag inside and while in there, I'm going
Speaker 2: to try and find a picture of the king.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 10: Is it a giant can of soda in the shape
Speaker 10: of building or a building in the shape of.
Speaker 1: Ye, it's a giant. It's a giant building in the
Speaker 1: shape of a giant can of Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, I will follow Crag into this building.
Speaker 1: You go inside and there's a man. Well okay, there
Speaker 1: is nobody inside immediately, but then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: someone appears from behind the desk and they go.
Speaker 9: Pop, oh my god, away, Pop, it's nice to meet you.
Speaker 9: You want it, I've got it, fizzy drinks, cola, anything
Speaker 9: you need.
Speaker 3: Did you do the same thing that I just did
Speaker 3: and immediately draw your guns kind of like I mean
Speaker 3: anybody that does that out of nowhere? Crack? Oh what
Speaker 3: aisle is your first aid? Kits and gauze?
Speaker 4: Perhaps you want their healing soda the doctor pepper.
Speaker 12: I could get you too, just for that price of war.
Speaker 12: But the price of one costs twice as much. All right,
Speaker 12: that sounds good. Let's do that. I have Oh shit,
Speaker 12: I gave all my lumens to pocket.
Speaker 4: Hey, none of you have money. You've given turned to Stigma.
Speaker 4: Immediately Sigma borrows some lumens. I'll pay you back, I
Speaker 4: swear to God, Craig.
Speaker 3: We just escaped from prison. I don't have any money. Hey, Rick,
Speaker 3: I'm really sorry.
Speaker 4: I don't want to bump money off my boss, but like,
Speaker 4: do you do you have anything?
Speaker 2: I'd like to return with the shop owner? You there,
Speaker 2: Barry Scott, Listen up.
Speaker 3: This is the emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom and he
Speaker 3: requires medical assistance. Yes, I am the missionary of the
Speaker 3: Ashcar Kingdom. The more you say, the harder this gets
Speaker 3: to do. Okay, therefore, we are requesting diplomatic aid. What
Speaker 3: do I look like, charity?
Speaker 1: You talk to the king for diplomatic aid.
Speaker 3: My name is Pop.
Speaker 1: I got the deals now bang and you're gone this king?
Speaker 3: Have you seen him before?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: The kaiser?
Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody's saying.
Speaker 3: The key I have such tip.
Speaker 1: In fact, I am invited to his wedding and supplying
Speaker 1: the fizzy drinks directly to him for the great Princess
Speaker 1: Marsey Pan, I will make her pop with excitement.
Speaker 3: Oh that sounds okay.
Speaker 2: You definitely have an invite to the wedding around here somewhere,
Speaker 2: which is something I'm going to note down. But more importantly,
Speaker 2: could you describe what the king looks like to me
Speaker 2: in excruciating detail?
Speaker 11: Handsome, sugary, sweet, all words I would use to describe
Speaker 11: the King's the great?
Speaker 3: Could you use words that are slightly more objective in
Speaker 3: exactly how he looks you? Height, features? Do you have
Speaker 3: a picture? He has just described a gingerbread man. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so I'm worried. Oh this is we're going with what
Speaker 3: we've got. The King looks like a gingerbread man. Hey, sir, spude,
Speaker 3: you got any money?
Speaker 1: Sorry, you've opened the fridge now place the kind.
Speaker 4: Of opened it a crack and just kind of like
Speaker 4: whispered like, hey, do you got any money?
Speaker 2: So the shopkeeper is seeing crag open the fridge and
Speaker 2: ask if it has any money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh I he checks his lumen chard. Boooooo, I have
Speaker 1: fifty lumens.
Speaker 4: Or fifty lumens cover the I'll pay you back, spy,
Speaker 4: don't worry about it. Uh will fifty lumens cover the
Speaker 4: dark pepper?
Speaker 3: Are you having a love? I'm sorry, I didn't really.
Speaker 4: I don't really know much about the currency exchange. Let's see,
Speaker 4: I have a can of beans I could trade you
Speaker 4: or peace. It was I think of can of pease magic,
Speaker 4: but they were magic peas, so I expect like a
Speaker 4: lot of healing supplies from that.
Speaker 3: He grabs, well, he looks at it. He brings out
Speaker 3: I placed it on the counter. I was like, here
Speaker 3: you are.
Speaker 1: Brings out a big magnifying glass and looks at it,
Speaker 1: and then another one, and then another one.
Speaker 3: It apparently came from a lost dimension of wonder and amazement.
Speaker 2: While they are doing that, can I be looking around
Speaker 2: the place to see if I can spot the ticket
Speaker 2: that will get him into the wedding? As he said,
Speaker 2: he was supplying the drinks, therefore he would have an invitation.
Speaker 4: His attention is the double magnifying glass focused on us.
Speaker 3: Right, I want to just have a look around. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you give me a perception.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he did mention that he has an invite
Speaker 1: as well, so yeah, can.
Speaker 3: Me and can me and the captain both be doing that? Great?
Speaker 3: Great one of you can roll with advantage.
Speaker 2: I only get a two bonus on perception. So do
Speaker 2: you want to roll for that?
Speaker 3: Segma, Sure, I have hold on, I have advantage on
Speaker 3: perception checks. Oh wow, that's really just as a triple advantage. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I just have keen senses well colon Colon nineteen nineteen.
Speaker 1: Oh great, So you look around and you you this
Speaker 1: is a plentiful store. But you kind of conclude from
Speaker 1: looking around and just using like a little bit of
Speaker 1: logical deduction that if he did have an invite, he'd
Speaker 1: probably have it at his house and not at his
Speaker 1: place of work.
Speaker 3: Oh, this isn't one of those buildings where it's like
Speaker 3: the shop on the bottom and then he lives.
Speaker 1: He lives somewhere else. Is basically through your perception, you
Speaker 1: probably deduce that there's no housing aspect of this.
Speaker 3: He works at a soda bottle, he lives at a
Speaker 3: milk carton.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, he gets a crazy role on his inside
Speaker 1: and he goes ship.
Speaker 3: I don't know how to tell you. So, yeah, these peas,
Speaker 3: these peas right here is a fake count of magic peace.
Speaker 1: What Yeah, if you want to buy a real cat
Speaker 1: of magic peace, I have a whole budget.
Speaker 3: But the sugar snails shut. They're over that. I think that,
Speaker 3: I think I think our little red friend has conned you.
Speaker 3: They're not even real peace. I shake a canty can. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I shake the can. Is it really empty? It's just
Speaker 3: an empty can? Pocket. I trusted you.
Speaker 4: A single tear falls down crags a single mom.
Speaker 3: So everyone knows you wept. I was going to put
Speaker 3: a hand on Craig's shoulder, but I'm realizing that's like
Speaker 3: ten foot tall. I put a hand on his knee.
Speaker 3: How you want this? Want to be his last betrayal? Well,
Speaker 3: that's just happening.
Speaker 2: I would like to take one of the cans of
Speaker 2: doctor Pepper off the shelf and just put it into
Speaker 2: my pocket, slide of hand.
Speaker 3: He's good at that.
Speaker 1: He's got a high passive perception.
Speaker 3: Yeah, twenty three straight in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't see you steal the water.
Speaker 3: There's a lot, there's a lot occupying this guys, there
Speaker 3: are other shops in here.
Speaker 2: I suggest we leave now. Plus I need to have
Speaker 2: a word with you outside.
Speaker 3: I think to check it right now, so I'm yeah,
Speaker 3: I just follow you wherever.
Speaker 1: I do want to note you know, this is the future,
Speaker 1: and in your perception check you would notice that at
Speaker 1: the shop entrance they have those like beepy barrier things,
Speaker 1: you know stores in our in our universe.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true, stopped by twentieth century technology.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people, I don't know, I don't know what they
Speaker 3: had them for a while. Yeah, I'll just I'll just well,
Speaker 3: whisper to the captain as we're about to head out.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I would have just stolen some but they
Speaker 3: have these beeby barriers, so if I pocketed any that,
Speaker 3: just the alarm would go off. Yes, that would be
Speaker 3: a trickiest situation to get out arena.
Speaker 1: Are you just gonna walk through the beety barriers?
Speaker 3: I want to look outside and see if anyone's walking
Speaker 3: along the street.
Speaker 1: There's plenty of people in the street. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: a holiday, you there, you yell outside one of them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wanted a lot of people are ignoring you for
Speaker 1: a little bit because you obviously, it just feels like
Speaker 1: you're advertising for the shop. But eventually one person turns
Speaker 1: around and goes, oh.
Speaker 3: Me, I recognize you. We've met before. Come over here
Speaker 3: and say hello to me. I'm sure it's you.
Speaker 1: Somebody recognizes me, walks, no waddles towards the store. This
Speaker 1: old lady.
Speaker 2: As they walk up, I would like to walk forward
Speaker 2: to shake their hand as we are in between the
Speaker 2: barriers and effectively spin them slightly into the shop. So
Speaker 2: as I go out, they go in. If the barrier
Speaker 2: beeps at all.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and the barrier beeps, and so you guys
Speaker 1: have left. The old lady goes in, of course, Oh
Speaker 1: oh dear, what's happening.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's just one of those things where you're bringing
Speaker 3: you know, when you're bringing something back in and it
Speaker 3: goes off. It's not that you've taken anything else. Don't worry.
Speaker 3: She's just coming back in. Stop right there to support
Speaker 3: a gun?
Speaker 4: Ah yes, oh oh.
Speaker 1: And he points it and he's going between Rick and
Speaker 1: the old lady.
Speaker 3: Now, oh what it looks.
Speaker 1: You know it's a gun, but you don't know if
Speaker 1: it's going to kill somebody.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna walk in front of the old lady because like, yeah,
Speaker 4: Crag's not gonna stand for that ship.
Speaker 2: I would like to take the can and kind of
Speaker 2: drop it out of my pocket on the floor outside
Speaker 2: in a way that Sigma can see.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. So we've got the Yeah, I've stepped in
Speaker 3: from the old lady.
Speaker 2: And then I would like to walk all the way
Speaker 2: up to the shopkeeper, walk straight up, pressed myself, went
Speaker 2: to the barrel of the gun and go.
Speaker 3: That is my grandma. You either right now or you
Speaker 3: sit down.
Speaker 1: Intimidation.
Speaker 3: I'm going to a pocket in the doctor pepper outside.
Speaker 1: Would you get your intimidation for fourteen?
Speaker 2: I would like to use a luck roll to do
Speaker 2: that again. I believe I have one lug point that
Speaker 2: I can do that with.
Speaker 3: Yeah, can I help you too with that? Can I can?
Speaker 4: I also try to like gleam over you and just
Speaker 4: be very ima my grandmother too, Yes, I mean I could,
Speaker 4: I'd be like, yes, yes, they are.
Speaker 3: She's very adventurous, she all of us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so just roll again anyway eighty Wait, eighty is
Speaker 1: definitely good enough. So he goes, Oh right, sorry, I understand,
Speaker 1: must be a problem with the machine.
Speaker 3: You be on your way now. Damn straight, but to
Speaker 3: see you everyone else, let's go outside. You.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see you or your grandma at
Speaker 1: this shop ever again.
Speaker 3: I guarantee you will never see my grandma in this
Speaker 3: shop again. Come on, let's go. It's one of my favorites.
Speaker 4: It's all right, we'll get you back in the store.
Speaker 4: Don't worry that got That guy's so mean.
Speaker 3: I just wanted to.
Speaker 1: Go for a walk because it's not nice to be
Speaker 1: at home.
Speaker 3: Well we can, we can still go for a walk together.
Speaker 3: Domestic woman, it's the same woman.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, no, fuck this rustage.
Speaker 3: I literally asked her, like, well, we can still go
Speaker 3: for a walk. What's wrong with home? Right now? Oh?
Speaker 1: It's not nice to speak ill of your loved ones,
Speaker 1: so I shan't be a gossip, but it'd be nice
Speaker 1: to go for a walk.
Speaker 3: Does she have any visible bruises on her.
Speaker 1: No, it's not a physically abusive relationship.
Speaker 4: Oh, just an emotional and I mental one.
Speaker 3: That's good. Yeah, yeah, fantastics happened.
Speaker 2: Pick up the can of doctor pepara gott and just
Speaker 2: pass it over to Crag Crag. This was far too
Speaker 2: much effort, but there you go. I know this was
Speaker 2: This would have went so much smoother if I just
Speaker 2: had money. I just give it to Spud inside of
Speaker 2: the fridge. I'm like, here, you go, drink up, Spud.
Speaker 1: I can't drink this.
Speaker 3: Why not?
Speaker 1: My level is too low?
Speaker 5: It doesn't high enough.
Speaker 3: Oh no, it's gonna go flat now all right, give
Speaker 3: it to me. I cannot.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, you could drink it?
Speaker 3: Do I have a bottle? I'm not drinking it. I'm
Speaker 3: at full health. Crag. Could I borrow that plizz for
Speaker 3: a second? Yeah, here you go, boss. I'd like to
Speaker 3: take it a walk back in. I'd like a refund.
Speaker 1: Please wait, sorry, he did just threaten you and say
Speaker 1: do not come back here again. Are you really walking
Speaker 1: back into his shop?
Speaker 2: No, that's probably a bad time. I'd like to take
Speaker 2: it and go. If this goes flat, would you then
Speaker 2: be able to drink it?
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good point. No, but I don't remember
Speaker 1: being a level two. I thought I was a level three.
Speaker 1: Why did it go down?
Speaker 3: Oh no, crag? Hey, here's the dog's pepper. Do what
Speaker 3: you want with this.
Speaker 2: I think that if people's numbers on the cards going down,
Speaker 2: we need to get to Kaiser. Yeah, we have it
Speaker 2: as possible and have a conversation.
Speaker 4: Well, at least we learned about the kaiser being Uh
Speaker 4: what was the physical description again that he said?
Speaker 2: Well, well, Crag, someone who use my disguise is self
Speaker 2: spell in order to slip past the guards, I'm going
Speaker 2: to be able to turn into something that is sugary
Speaker 2: and sweet.
Speaker 3: All right, it's like a cookie, Crag, Yes, like a cookie.
Speaker 2: The problem is, that's as specific as I've got. I
Speaker 2: need to find a picture of the king.
Speaker 3: Okay, I look around for a picture of the king.
Speaker 3: Vena the vena.
Speaker 1: You guys have waited long enough, Will you now enter
Speaker 1: the Oh, look, there's a picture of the king. It's
Speaker 1: on the known as board outside the church. Look, he
Speaker 1: looks so sugary and sweet. He's a giant gingerbread man.
Speaker 5: How is that? How is that possible?
Speaker 1: Well, it's bioscience. Anything's possible. In the eon Veil Navina.
Speaker 3: He was made with a hydro span.
Speaker 8: Up.
Speaker 5: Is this like your food creations that you made?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've got something.
Speaker 3: I want to admit.
Speaker 1: All of the other warlords have people who are better
Speaker 1: than me at making food creations, And I was the
Speaker 1: only guy for Carl Senior, and I have a failure.
Speaker 3: I lied.
Speaker 1: I know, I said I was the smartest food scientist
Speaker 1: in the entire universe, but I'm not even the smartest
Speaker 1: food scientist in like a twelve meter radius around my house.
Speaker 5: Oh, Crawn, do not worry. None of us believed you.
Speaker 3: On that one, like bullshit, but we still fuck.
Speaker 1: We just liked your company, you liked Nobody's ever said
Speaker 1: that about me before. They just say, go make another
Speaker 1: one of your little meatball men.
Speaker 5: You've shown me so much, so much new music and
Speaker 5: uh and your food plans. I mean, they looked they
Speaker 5: looked very tasty.
Speaker 1: They tend to look great, but you know, in reality.
Speaker 5: Well, how can this gingerbread creature have a daughter to marry?
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, to be fair with the Kaiser, I
Speaker 1: never really knew what he looked like. I just heard
Speaker 1: about him. I think maybe maybe he used to be man,
Speaker 1: and he's commented himself to be more and more gingerbread
Speaker 1: over the years. That happens sometimes, you know, when people
Speaker 1: become more and more machine, but instead of machine, it
Speaker 1: was gingerbread. That makes more sense than like an animated gingerbread.
Speaker 1: It's easier as well. So maybe there's a part of
Speaker 1: him that's still human. Maybe he it's a gingerbread body
Speaker 1: that beats with a human heart. Maybe his you know,
Speaker 1: like and maybe his reproductive organs are still human.
Speaker 3: It's just with a human cough.
Speaker 13: Like a giant gingerbread bad which is a human penis.
Speaker 13: I was thinking too logical and scientific. You are, you're
Speaker 13: a lady, and I shouldn't be talking about things like
Speaker 13: that around you.
Speaker 5: It is okay, Oh well, uh, let us go into
Speaker 5: the monastery and see see what else we can find.
Speaker 5: I want to head to the top of the steeper.
Speaker 1: Yes, you guys, ender the monastery, and choiet music is
Speaker 1: playing this sweet music.
Speaker 5: Oh sweet music. It's playing as you guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know that's that's how this whole, this
Speaker 1: whole kingdom is, I'll be honest.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: And standing giving a sermon. He's mid sermon is the
Speaker 1: archbishop himself, Archbishop Caramel, you know, because he's got a
Speaker 1: giant banner that says the Archbishop Caramel is giving a
Speaker 1: sermon right now.
Speaker 3: Have to change out those banners a lot.
Speaker 1: It's it's electronic, guys.
Speaker 14: This is a sci fi I have to remember it
Speaker 14: is a bit weird that like the you guys chose
Speaker 14: to go to like the people who like to pretend
Speaker 14: they're in medieval times, part of this world first in
Speaker 14: this sci fi campaign.
Speaker 1: But yes, it is the future, so it is. It
Speaker 1: is electronic and it's saying that. And this is a
Speaker 1: proper like mega church situation. You know, he's he's he's preaching.
Speaker 7: Well, Navida is going to realize that they're you know,
Speaker 7: mid mass.
Speaker 5: And we must we must, we must sit we we
Speaker 5: must join with welked.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got to join in. It would be rude
Speaker 1: not to.
Speaker 3: We're going to.
Speaker 10: Grab some you know, some panther paplet seem like sweet
Speaker 10: hymn books.
Speaker 1: Yeah they made out of sugar paper.
Speaker 10: Nice and uh and go sit down and listen to
Speaker 10: the sermon.
Speaker 1: Okay, I guess we cut back to Rick the group.
Speaker 3: And go right, Well, I mean, worst coast scenario.
Speaker 2: I can just disguise myself with the king as long
Speaker 2: as it's not like a you know, turn for gingerbread
Speaker 2: man with a massive cock who.
Speaker 1: At this moment, a giant like a parade is now
Speaker 1: coming through. Oh boy, and they and they have big
Speaker 1: banners that have the king on them, and it's a
Speaker 1: giant gingerbread man with a human cock. Obviously he's wearing armor.
Speaker 3: Everywhere. He just still has.
Speaker 4: He rides a battle and he's intimidating his enemies.
Speaker 3: It's going to give you advantage on every role. That is, my.
Speaker 1: Goodness, Vina cut away from you, because the serven is
Speaker 1: gonna take like hours.
Speaker 3: It's a long church service to a cutback. I assume
Speaker 3: Navena is in it for the long haul as well. Well.
Speaker 7: Navina is going to be like quite invested in it,
Speaker 7: but also quite critical because obviously it's a.
Speaker 5: Completely different religion.
Speaker 3: Imagine Crumb is very very bored.
Speaker 5: She will be like, well, that's not how things work
Speaker 5: as well.
Speaker 2: I mean, as that's happening, I like onto one of
Speaker 2: the kind of party goers walking past us and go,
Speaker 2: my good sir, tell me these large facsimiles you have
Speaker 2: of the King, what's he like in real life?
Speaker 3: Have you ever spoken to him?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: No, I've never met the King myself. Only the Dukes
Speaker 3: get to meet the King, only the Dukes. Has the
Speaker 3: King ever appeared in public? Very very rarely so has
Speaker 3: anyone actually ever seen the King? Yeah? The dukes?
Speaker 8: Okay, yes, Based on the information you just gave me.
Speaker 3: This guy's like fucking idiot. I just said that discounting
Speaker 3: the powerful conglomerate of a few small people at the
Speaker 3: top of this power structure.
Speaker 1: But people see him.
Speaker 3: You've seen the King. People see him on TV all
Speaker 3: the time. You know, he gives speeches. Yes, I see.
Speaker 3: And where would the king be right now? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm not his dad.
Speaker 3: Why would the King's dad be right now? Dead? Oh? King?
Speaker 4: I hold up the I'm holding up the grandma so
Speaker 4: she could get a better vantage point at watching the parade.
Speaker 1: I've never been this high up before.
Speaker 3: Oh good, we've got somebody else with crag.
Speaker 1: Now I see what that Vellinari was trying to do.
Speaker 1: Now it's nice to be high up.
Speaker 3: Oh have you seen Navena? Yeah? I don't.
Speaker 4: She's a jellyfish. She's just a jellyfish girl. That's basically her.
Speaker 1: There's a there's there's quite a few Millinari in the town.
Speaker 3: Right, let's turn to Sigma quickly. Stigma.
Speaker 2: With this parade going on distracting people, now is probably
Speaker 2: the perfect time to sneak.
Speaker 3: Into the castle. Yes, I think that's a good idea, right,
Speaker 3: But first what's your name? Grandma? Lady bonbon Lady bonbonn.
Speaker 4: All right, well you know what, I'll be your relational
Speaker 4: assistant today. And we go, oh yeah, are you? Are
Speaker 4: you a of some stature? I would imagine, Oh, my
Speaker 4: husband's a lord?
Speaker 3: Is a lord? Also a duke? No, it's above dukes,
Speaker 3: they're below them, below damn show. Do you have a
Speaker 3: Do you have an invitation to the wedding tomorrow?
Speaker 1: My husband does, and he had a plus one, but
Speaker 1: he's not taking me.
Speaker 4: That sounds awful. What kind of husband would do that
Speaker 4: to his lovely wife. I'm gonna march over there and
Speaker 4: give them a piece.
Speaker 3: Of my mind.
Speaker 1: Right, he's a powerful man.
Speaker 3: I am a powerful ashcar. How powerful is your husband
Speaker 3: on a numerical level?
Speaker 4: Listen, I'm just gonna hop over really quick and just
Speaker 4: give them a piece of my mind.
Speaker 3: Where do you lie?
Speaker 2: I'd like to take out their little dagrub god and go,
Speaker 2: this is a piece of Cragg's mind.
Speaker 3: I was literally throw it at him.
Speaker 4: Oh God, Josh, you would be here on the same
Speaker 4: fucking wavelang dude.
Speaker 3: I was, Yeah, I returned to Crack and we'd like
Speaker 3: Crag please all right, matters like this requires some sensitivity.
Speaker 3: Let's not let's not threaten the woman's husband. But I
Speaker 3: don't know. We could have a word with him. I
Speaker 3: think we should. I think we should.
Speaker 1: All right, So you guys said no, she's reluctant though,
Speaker 1: She's like, if you want to come, okay.
Speaker 4: All right, now listen before I just asked this publicly,
Speaker 4: but I'm goad lady, Yeah, go ahead, Mark, I.
Speaker 3: We have no you know, we don't want the causing
Speaker 3: the issues for you, but it would be very helpful
Speaker 3: to us if we could speak to your husband is
Speaker 3: powerful lord.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what most people say. I thought you guys
Speaker 1: wanted to be my friend, but.
Speaker 4: No, literally, I was gonna say, like, now, listen, I
Speaker 4: know you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable,
Speaker 4: but you seem to have an issue with your husband,
Speaker 4: and I'm just trying to know if if anything's better.
Speaker 3: In the house or something it was. I'm trying to
Speaker 3: convince her to tell us. So I actually like, I'm trying.
Speaker 1: To persuasion then, But yes, that's what I'm.
Speaker 3: Actually trying to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it regards of the role beforehand, she will say, oh,
Speaker 1: ten is not.
Speaker 4: Going no, no, no, no, no tactical mind Okay, yeah,
Speaker 4: well it burn a second wind and I roll a
Speaker 4: D ten.
Speaker 1: Okay, good luck. I don't know how many of those
Speaker 1: you have left. Fifteen Okay, fifteen is better, so you'll go.
Speaker 1: Ok this is what she'll say it was. It was
Speaker 1: a mistake for me to tell you in the first place.
Speaker 1: I don't want it to be a room around town.
Speaker 3: No, no, I will could.
Speaker 1: Damage his credibility.
Speaker 3: Is lord and brag money not a gossip.
Speaker 1: We need we need the position of power. We need
Speaker 1: the money right now. I'm a level I'm a level four,
Speaker 1: he's a level five, and if you lose lordship, we're
Speaker 1: at risk of losing our eating rights.
Speaker 4: That's no excuse for him to mistreat his wife or
Speaker 4: anybody for that matter.
Speaker 1: It's no excuse. But it's why I haven't told anybody
Speaker 1: or talked about it. I just unlocked in this and this.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm trying.
Speaker 3: I think we should. I think we can help this situation.
Speaker 1: I was partially just thinking maybe I could just, you know,
Speaker 1: while my way is away and then die.
Speaker 3: Oh no, you're you're not a day over twenty three, ma'am.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, dragged, Maybe that doesn't understand. Like you're not a
Speaker 4: day over twenty three, ma'am. Come on, we could go.
Speaker 4: How old does she look?
Speaker 1: I would say like.
Speaker 3: Early seventies. Oh okay, yeah, okay. You're a lady. You
Speaker 3: have been a friend to us. We would simply like
Speaker 3: to be a friend to you. Okay, you feel stuck,
Speaker 3: perhaps we could help you.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, but I feel like I might regret this,
Speaker 1: but it's worth a chance.
Speaker 3: Heroism.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'd like to cast heroism on the old lady.
Speaker 3: Oh, lady bon Ban. Yeah, well, she's impued with bravery
Speaker 3: from her husband.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'd like to turn to her blendy bon
Speaker 2: Bon if I may. The band of near duels you
Speaker 2: currently talk to won't be in town for long. However,
Speaker 2: we do have some rather important business. You're actually talking
Speaker 2: to the emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom. Here's my proposal.
Speaker 2: We head back to your house, had a small chap
Speaker 2: with your husband, move on, do our adventures I daring
Speaker 2: do and ne're duell and get out of your head.
Speaker 2: But during that you're welcome to join us for one
Speaker 2: final night of crazy, adventurous fun.
Speaker 3: If you wish. It's going to be scary. Do you
Speaker 3: want to get involved? I'm like holding her up still.
Speaker 3: You know it sounds the breaking of the palace. But
Speaker 3: we're just going to see your house right now. But
Speaker 3: I'm not frightened.
Speaker 1: By the idea. That doesn't mean.
Speaker 2: Would you like to not be frightened by your husband
Speaker 2: at least for the next.
Speaker 1: I'm not frightened about the situation or anything for the
Speaker 1: next minute.
Speaker 15: For the next minute, you walk, you walk, and it ends.
Speaker 3: In that case, I'm not going to cast this. Get
Speaker 3: up to your husband, get to the door.
Speaker 1: You get into the door, right, He goes, all right.
Speaker 1: She puts the key knock. No no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's knock. She could just go in.
Speaker 2: She's scan journey, ma'am, you've refused to call once. Now
Speaker 2: you're about to see something bad and then you'll accept
Speaker 2: the call. It's a cycle.
Speaker 1: She scans her key card and the door opens. We
Speaker 1: cut back to Navena, So Novena and Crumb. The archbishop
Speaker 1: is doing his and he goes, I know, you guys
Speaker 1: know there is a wedding tomorrow. An in celebration of
Speaker 1: such wedding which I personally will be attending and you
Speaker 1: know consummating.
Speaker 16: Wait, that's sorry, they differently here, what's the word apiciatingating?
Speaker 1: I officiated the wedding, and so I would like to
Speaker 1: invite our special guest, the King, and onto the state.
Speaker 1: This giant gingerbread bad. That's what the post is A
Speaker 1: side gods tig I have zikiser.
Speaker 3: Alight and everyone cheers.
Speaker 1: They stand up, they applaud. They're having a great time.
Speaker 1: Now we come back to It's is very important. That's
Speaker 1: the religion of the Archbishop of Sugar continues to live
Speaker 1: in all of you.
Speaker 3: Sim tomorrow. It is a good day, a very good day. Four.
Speaker 3: Despite the wars, we are celebrating love.
Speaker 1: The vena. You do notice this giant human cock id.
Speaker 17: It does not have an all right, the Vena is
Speaker 17: just gonna look at Chrum and they'll just exchange a
Speaker 17: glance of just like what is happening?
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 3: Things are looking good.
Speaker 1: The general has made an attack on.
Speaker 5: Those dirty dirty.
Speaker 1: Ah what what sort of like what word would he
Speaker 1: use to describe.
Speaker 3: We can deply just say ashcar Yeah, then oh bitter,
Speaker 3: that's the opposite sweeten.
Speaker 1: Iteah oh yeah, those there are sour enemies.
Speaker 3: Sour enemies. It's soon we were winness war. We so
Speaker 3: he's French. Now he.
Speaker 1: And everyone's applauding is going to good and he's like,
Speaker 1: so now let us do the Lord's prayer and bow
Speaker 1: our heads and okay, now we cut back brick plan.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what's saying my when we finally didn't
Speaker 2: met the king, I hope he's not German and or French.
Speaker 5: Honestly, any European accents. I would hate that absolutely.
Speaker 2: Now let's get into this house and work out what
Speaker 2: the hell this woman's husband's up to, because he seems
Speaker 2: like a real piece of work. Lenny Bonbon, are you
Speaker 2: ready to introduce us to your husband?
Speaker 1: As the door opens slowly because you already scanned a card,
Speaker 1: he goes, all right, honey, I've brought some guests. I said,
Speaker 1: no guests aloud, bitch. This is why this is the
Speaker 1: sort of behavior I'm talking about, which is why you're
Speaker 1: not invited to the wedding.
Speaker 3: Oh, we're heard. You tell that you are invited to
Speaker 3: the wedding, my lord.
Speaker 1: And you you, I guess you walk in and you
Speaker 1: see this old man. He's round like a giant jawbreaker. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's what he's wearing. Like he's like a big candy.
Speaker 1: He's got half a jawbreaker as a hat. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: got a beard. And he stands up and he goes,
Speaker 1: you don't to me like that. I am Lord Bonborn.
Speaker 4: You don't talk to your wife like that. I am
Speaker 4: too big to fit through the door. I'm still outside.
Speaker 3: Uh, who are you opened the window? My name's crag
Speaker 3: like tapping on the window.
Speaker 18: Who are you to talk to me like that? I
Speaker 18: am a lord of this land. Oh indeed we are.
Speaker 18: We're messengers from the king. We are aware that you
Speaker 18: have been invited to the wedding.
Speaker 3: That is none of your business. Get out of my house.
Speaker 3: I'm outside your house. The rest.
Speaker 1: He's quite abrasive. He's no ship quite seven. And and
Speaker 1: to be fair, Lady Bond was.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm sorry, Maybe he's right.
Speaker 1: Maybe this was a bad idea. Oh, I've funcked it
Speaker 1: all up again.
Speaker 2: I'd like to turn the sigma the sigma. I'll lay
Speaker 2: my cards on the table for you. My plan was
Speaker 2: to attempt to charm and or intimidate this man. Take
Speaker 2: both of his invites to the wedding. That gives us two.
Speaker 2: Then we simply work out a way to get other
Speaker 2: people in. Maybe we can say that we get plus ones.
Speaker 2: We can use the emissary idea that was getting us
Speaker 2: a step closer to the goal. However, this man seems
Speaker 2: somewhat uncooperative and rather abrasive. What's your take on the
Speaker 2: situation currently?
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, Captain. My trigger finger is itching the
Speaker 3: more of this guy speaks. I'm just wondering who his
Speaker 3: heir is. Maybe if the lady bonbon inherits his things,
Speaker 3: he should just be.
Speaker 2: I really understand. The problem is if we turn and
Speaker 2: shoot this man together. Granted he made I but what's
Speaker 2: she going to do? She seems very stockholmed into this.
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, don't.
Speaker 4: Kill my husband, Lady Bonbond. We're not going to kill
Speaker 4: your husband. But you know he's being very dickish towards
Speaker 4: you right.
Speaker 3: Now, you know what you get to know if he's lovely.
Speaker 3: He just called you a bitch. It's just humor.
Speaker 4: That's not funny. If it would it be something you
Speaker 4: would do to somebody else. No, No, that's not appropriate.
Speaker 4: Then that's not right to be used on you. Right Oh,
Speaker 4: I am the emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom, Lord Bond, Bond.
Speaker 1: Give me a deception, crag. This is a deception for
Speaker 1: you because this is actually.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is actually relevant. Okay, hold on, deception. It's
Speaker 3: not thirty. That's not as bad as it could have been.
Speaker 1: But all the way from Lord King grand Rock himself.
Speaker 3: Is that a real person?
Speaker 17: That?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's he's the king.
Speaker 3: You know, oh you know King grand Rock.
Speaker 1: Oh man, everybody knows King grand Rock. He's the Yeah,
Speaker 1: the King. I'm just like, have you known him? Have
Speaker 1: you actually met him?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: No, not exactly.
Speaker 4: Okay, well then you're at the same level as me.
Speaker 4: Then basically no, and you have met the king. You
Speaker 4: are the emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom. Remember, I don't
Speaker 4: believe the king.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of research on on like kingdoms
Speaker 1: and and lords and dukes and and all of that stuff.
Speaker 3: And you you don't wear them.
Speaker 1: You're not wearing the right uniform You're not doing anything
Speaker 1: right that. You are a liar.
Speaker 4: You are no, wait it, you wear uniforms. He's a phony.
Speaker 2: I can't believe it. I'd like to turn the sigma
Speaker 2: and then turn to Lord Bonbon.
Speaker 3: He's pursed the test. No one's ever passed the test.
Speaker 2: Lord Bonbon, You've been invited to this wedding because, as
Speaker 2: we all know, you are a remarkably important, wealthy and
Speaker 2: very attractive man. This is a test we give everyone
Speaker 2: to see if they can notice the heraldry that we
Speaker 2: present this fake emissary in. You are the only one
Speaker 2: who has ever seen through this, and that is because
Speaker 2: we knew you would be the right man for the job.
Speaker 3: This is playing to his you know, ego.
Speaker 1: This is a good angle.
Speaker 3: Give me a deception. You need to be the fifteen
Speaker 3: oh man. But he's Rick and he has the plan.
Speaker 3: What the hell is that.
Speaker 1: You still have your lucky point because you didn't use
Speaker 1: it before because had a problem.
Speaker 3: That's right, More for the deception on that one. Try
Speaker 3: again twenty three.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank god, that was your last lucky point is beforehand?
Speaker 1: It was advantage because of the being helped. Okay, he
Speaker 1: goes me. Of course it was a test. Nobody would
Speaker 1: be so rude to me. Oh, my wife of mine,
Speaker 1: you've you a part of this?
Speaker 3: Oh yes, dearie, of course.
Speaker 1: It was all a ruse to make sure that you
Speaker 1: are are worthy. Of course, I bet He's going to
Speaker 1: make me the next duke, and then I might you know,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: it around my wife. When she dies, Oh my god, we.
Speaker 2: Will know exactly what you mean, Lord bon Bon. I
Speaker 2: will explain the plan to you very simply. We believe
Speaker 2: there is an assassination attempt on the King's life tomorrow
Speaker 2: at the wedding.
Speaker 3: Sent at the king.
Speaker 2: We have been sent to protect him. However, there are
Speaker 2: very few people in the city we can trust. We
Speaker 2: believe you are one of the few remaining trustworthy people.
Speaker 1: I've always been loyal to the King. I've been loyal
Speaker 1: since the day I was born slightly and we knew
Speaker 1: that you were the only person who could do this.
Speaker 1: We need to sneak into the castle tonight. The reason
Speaker 1: we need to do this stealthily is because we don't
Speaker 1: know which other lords.
Speaker 3: We can trust.
Speaker 1: But the King won't be in the castle tonight, right exactly.
Speaker 1: Therefore we take up our position. The King arrives and
Speaker 1: we are already there, ready to protect.
Speaker 3: Him wait for the wedding.
Speaker 1: The town is under guarded at the moment because of
Speaker 1: the war that's going on. The General's out you've been,
Speaker 1: You've probably noticed we only had four guards at the
Speaker 1: front gate. Five grands of the front three well, five
Speaker 1: and four. We usually have way more. This is the
Speaker 1: perfect time for an assassin to strike, but also the
Speaker 1: perfect time to prove ourselves.
Speaker 8: It is.
Speaker 2: If we can protect the Guyser's life, he will reward
Speaker 2: you with riches and power beyond your wildest dreams. But
Speaker 2: the first thing we need to do is take up
Speaker 2: a position inside the castle and defensive position to make
Speaker 2: sure we can protect him. Are you able to assist
Speaker 2: us and in doing so your country?
Speaker 3: I could pull a few strings. We knew you could.
Speaker 3: You could. Are you My name? Yeah, is Rick. I've
Speaker 3: seen no reason to lie about this specifically.
Speaker 1: M.
Speaker 3: And it's your title, my title.
Speaker 2: I am the emissary off planet.
Speaker 3: Wait three eight five three? I stand up and salute him.
Speaker 1: That's a system that's like.
Speaker 3: You are pretty passed the test. Were the one who
Speaker 3: would is the one of legend?
Speaker 1: No? Sorry, so the king has hired you as personal
Speaker 1: protectors or tiying to that effect?
Speaker 8: Right?
Speaker 3: Or yes? Absolutely?
Speaker 2: Our mission is so secret there aren't even colors for
Speaker 2: the codes that we are now having to operate under.
Speaker 1: I'm glad he thinks of me. It's the one trustworthy lord. Indeed,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, if there's a traitor amongst the dukes,
Speaker 1: it's the Crumble Duke.
Speaker 3: We thought the same thing, Duke Crumble. All right, write
Speaker 3: that down, Write that down.
Speaker 1: I'm so jealous of that roly Poly Duke. To clarify
Speaker 1: for the audience, roly Poly in this context is like
Speaker 1: a gamerally poly, like the dessert.
Speaker 3: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: I was thinking at a bug, yeah, because everybody was
Speaker 1: thinking about the bug. But it's a jam really poly.
Speaker 3: Look it up? Is it a.
Speaker 1: I think it might.
Speaker 3: We don't have him, We don't have him over here.
Speaker 3: So to grab Lord Bonbon and be like my lord,
Speaker 3: we may not tarry any longer. Time is all the essence.
Speaker 3: Do you believe you can get us into the castle
Speaker 3: soon and we can put our defensive plan into position.
Speaker 1: M I've been waiting for this day, my entire life.
Speaker 1: All right, Rick, we could do this. We cut back
Speaker 1: to Novena and and and crumb, uh Navina and crumb.
Speaker 1: The kaiser goes everywhere, you know, you finish the prayer,
Speaker 1: however it goes. And the kaiser goes no Kaiser. The
Speaker 1: king goes, m hmm, thank you so much, Don shan.
Speaker 3: Ice.
Speaker 1: I shall be seeing the best of you tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Those who wanted the lucky ticket raffle Ye, looky, goodbye,
Speaker 3: my friends, goodbye.
Speaker 1: And he there's a giant door made specially for him
Speaker 1: at the back of the cathedral that opens up and
Speaker 1: he goes out of and then that's a group of
Speaker 1: people that have to close it again, and the arch
Speaker 1: and you know, the arch, it goes and that concludes
Speaker 1: our sermon. We'll be having tea and coffee with extra
Speaker 1: sugar after the you know here. And on Tuesday we're
Speaker 1: going to be doing a good, big cleaning of the
Speaker 1: of the monastery and we will need hands. And if
Speaker 1: you can't, some of you could just sit here and pray.
Speaker 1: And that creates a buff that makes everybody else faster,
Speaker 1: because our religion is incredible.
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, oh boy, Navita will turn to crumb. So
Speaker 5: did you hear that thing? There is a raffles for
Speaker 5: a wedding invitation, oh.
Speaker 1: Which usually raffles cost money to enter. How much money
Speaker 1: do you have?
Speaker 3: Nothing?
Speaker 5: I believe.
Speaker 3: Me me neither.
Speaker 5: A matter then money.
Speaker 1: Now cut to pocket pocket is sitting in like a
Speaker 1: suit of armor on the back of a horse, inexplicably,
Speaker 1: and he and he turns to this large man who's
Speaker 1: sitting on the back of These are robot horses. By
Speaker 1: the way, they're not real horses. I was going to say,
Speaker 1: the robot mecha horses. He turns and he goes, your Dukeship,
Speaker 1: it's so great to accompany you on this and be
Speaker 1: the sole protector of all your money. Yes, yes, wise,
Speaker 1: little one. You know you are shorter than I remember
Speaker 1: you being. That's just your mind playing tricks on you. Well,
Speaker 1: no matter, tomorrow, I shall marry the princess. And he
Speaker 1: just has this explicable power to just.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So then we cut back to we cut back to
Speaker 1: Rick Crag and Sigma.
Speaker 3: Yep so Stigma. I understand that we are playing up
Speaker 3: to this guy's ego, but I think that's the right
Speaker 3: move for now. We just need him to help get
Speaker 3: us into the castle. Then we can have a chat
Speaker 3: with the Kaiser or Kaiser Kaiser the King. That sounds
Speaker 3: like a good idea, who titles.
Speaker 4: I'm not against this idea, but this guy really makes
Speaker 4: me hop and mad. I'm really trying to contain it, crag.
Speaker 3: What if once this was all over, we've got into
Speaker 3: the castle, we've had a chat with Kaiser, we've worked
Speaker 3: out the civil war. Do you, and I say this
Speaker 3: with all the love, do you want to throw him
Speaker 3: in the moat? I just want old Lady Bombond to
Speaker 3: be to live a happy life. She deserves it, she can,
Speaker 3: she doesn't deserve how she's treated.
Speaker 2: I feel that there's many years of therapy that are
Speaker 2: going to be required to undo what's been done to her.
Speaker 2: But while we're here, we can throw him in the moat.
Speaker 3: I mean that would probably be a good start, to
Speaker 3: be honest. Yeah, excellent, all right, but.
Speaker 2: I'll all fall along with you until then, right, Stigma crack,
Speaker 2: Are you ready to follow Lord Bonbon to the castle?
Speaker 3: Yes? But perhaps we should tell the rest of our
Speaker 3: team to meet those at the castle. Communication devices we have, Navina,
Speaker 3: How are you being a crack?
Speaker 7: Quiet?
Speaker 5: They am at church.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, so sorry.
Speaker 5: She's a church guides, Yes, sorry, they were She's what.
Speaker 3: He she's a church, not anvinahing to do? Naarvna? Have
Speaker 3: you been kidnapped? No?
Speaker 5: We came to the sermon the King was here?
Speaker 3: What is he look like? King was there?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 5: He he is a giant gingerbread man.
Speaker 3: With an enormous cup. The rumors were true.
Speaker 5: Crumb seems to believe that he has been food augmented,
Speaker 5: that he may be a man, but is now completely
Speaker 5: made of gingerbread.
Speaker 3: Wait, Crumb believes he has made of gingerbread. Or Crumb
Speaker 3: believes the King is made of gingerbread.
Speaker 5: The King has made himself gingerbread.
Speaker 3: The kings augmented himself with gingerb powers.
Speaker 1: We'd like biomechanics, that sort of thing.
Speaker 3: Food Crumb, who gave you a communicator? I thought you
Speaker 3: made one for all of us. You weren't in the
Speaker 3: group when that was made. You're not part of the group.
Speaker 3: Chat Crumb. Oh you're you're right. I wasn't part of this.
Speaker 3: You're so actually right. I don't have one. I'm going
Speaker 3: to be honest with you.
Speaker 10: What's going to happen is, yeah, he's just like right
Speaker 10: right next to my face.
Speaker 3: Navena. The group that's exactly without Crumb.
Speaker 1: Navina be the type of person be like, oh we're
Speaker 1: missing somebody, let me add them.
Speaker 3: I'd like to make a smaller poggin. I have got
Speaker 3: to be quiet. I'm pretending to be a royal knight.
Speaker 5: Are you also a church?
Speaker 1: No? No, fuck churches. They're big scams. I mean I
Speaker 1: respect them because of the scamming in extra but no,
Speaker 1: maybe not pocketing and what we're doing in general. But
Speaker 1: who are you with and what have you achieved? I'm
Speaker 1: currently with Doke roi Poly. We're heading towards the Shortbread apartments.
Speaker 1: He's he's in the presidential suite. I'm thinking, you know,
Speaker 1: stealing all of his money.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 3: We are going to go to the castle and attempt
Speaker 3: to speak to the well to Kaiser tomorrow. If you
Speaker 3: could keep Duke Rolypoly at his apartment or away from
Speaker 3: the castle for as long as possible, that would be
Speaker 3: very beneficial. No, I can do that, excellent, don't worry
Speaker 3: about it, right bye?
Speaker 1: I love you.
Speaker 3: I love you too.
Speaker 1: To be honest, he did that to make Sigma mad.
Speaker 3: Specifically, Yeah, are you ready to escort us to the
Speaker 3: castle and save Kaiser's life? Maybe it's you, it's you,
Speaker 3: it's sim right, he's asking you. I said, Lord.
Speaker 1: I thought he said, Sigma, are you ready?
Speaker 3: Sorry?
Speaker 5: Lord?
Speaker 3: He had a heart attack.
Speaker 2: Okay, that would be really funny if he actually has
Speaker 2: just died.
Speaker 3: Right now, well that solves that problem, of course, I am.
Speaker 1: Let me get my well, no, I'll dress in my finery.
Speaker 1: I know some of the ways into the cus.
Speaker 3: You know, I've you would sneaky, brilliant man. It's underguarded
Speaker 3: as well because.
Speaker 1: Of the war. So let me get into my finest garb.
Speaker 1: And it's like a magic girl sequence. To be fair,
Speaker 1: it's it's the future, that's what he does. He presses
Speaker 1: a button. He's got this magical sweet He looks exactly
Speaker 1: the same, except for now. He has a hatter and
Speaker 1: like bow tie on his dawbreaker outfit.
Speaker 3: It's a complete outfit. Press the button, sparkles, light show noises,
Speaker 3: and it's exactly but with a bow tie. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: a little top hat. Let's go.
Speaker 4: She looks it looks like before, just like, hey, make sure,
Speaker 4: just just relax, make yourself. Some tea will be back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll make some tea with extra sugar. That's not
Speaker 1: allowed to drink it. I had a friend that got
Speaker 1: caught drinking unsweetened tea once. They sent him to their
Speaker 1: sugar mines.
Speaker 3: The sugar mines. Oh this place sounds awful.
Speaker 1: Totally reasonable responses.
Speaker 3: To be fair, Yeah, that's not well, we'll deal with
Speaker 3: that crack. I feel that you may have to accept
Speaker 3: that at some point maybe the old woman is actually
Speaker 3: a bit of a bitch.
Speaker 1: She's lived in a society and she studies the religion
Speaker 1: where she's been taught. If something's not sweet, it's not right,
Speaker 1: and that it's ingrained in her.
Speaker 3: It's not her. She sent her friend, she agreed with
Speaker 3: her friend going to the sugar mines. Well at least
Speaker 3: she didn't.
Speaker 1: She didn't get sugar crucified.
Speaker 3: That's the thing. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like two twixes, all right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the more the more we spend time is not
Speaker 3: sweet old lady. We thought she was doing it? Yeah,
Speaker 3: approving of it? Do you know what wine with it?
Speaker 3: Do you know what indoctrination is? Rick? Yeah, absolutely, I'm
Speaker 3: sure what indoctrination is. But we can't just assume that
Speaker 3: every person we meet because they're nice to you is
Speaker 3: an inherently good person. Oh she's not just nice to me,
Speaker 3: she's a sweet old lady.
Speaker 1: I don't approve of the crucifixion.
Speaker 3: She doesn't approve. Point we can start from there.
Speaker 4: And also Frankly, I don't think anyone deserves spousal abuse,
Speaker 4: regardless of the reviews.
Speaker 2: Of course, absolutely, I'm not saying that she deserved that
Speaker 2: at all. I'm just saying that maybe she's not entirely sweet.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I do not abuse my partner. Treat her
Speaker 1: exactly how she deserves.
Speaker 4: You called her, that's okay. Number one, that's a problem.
Speaker 4: And also number two, you caught her a bitch.
Speaker 1: Sorry, we're still doing the test.
Speaker 3: Yes, we're still doing the thing.
Speaker 19: Well again, my goodness, I love passing these tests. A
Speaker 19: quick aside with the captain on the way to the castle. Okay, yes,
Speaker 19: Captain Pocket said he was with Duke Luke. He he's lying, right.
Speaker 3: I have no idea whether Pockets turned the truth or not.
Speaker 2: I just assume that whatever he's doing is probably going
Speaker 2: to be detrimental to us in some way in the future,
Speaker 2: so I'm preparing for it.
Speaker 5: Okay, good.
Speaker 2: Plus, if he is, then we don't have to deal
Speaker 2: with that. If he isn't with the jew Rolypoly, we
Speaker 2: don't have to deal with Pocket. Either way, we're coming
Speaker 2: out on top in some way through through.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you meeting with Navina first?
Speaker 3: And I think we would have told Navina to sort
Speaker 3: of meet. We're communicated, and so we're going to the castle, right.
Speaker 4: Getting to the corn Banker or wherever the It is
Speaker 4: very much nighttime, okay.
Speaker 5: And Natina did want to look into this raffle. You
Speaker 5: don't have any money, that's true.
Speaker 3: To have any money, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: So you leave broke.
Speaker 5: She just loves a raffle. We can do it, right,
Speaker 5: Navina at the fucking church tombola.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Crumb and Crumb and Avena meets with the rest
Speaker 1: of the group and and the obviously Lord Bonbars like
Speaker 1: these two more members of your organization.
Speaker 2: They are Indeed, it was imperative they didn't travel with
Speaker 2: us at the same time. One of the first rules
Speaker 2: of subterfuge. Don't all stick together. But we know we
Speaker 2: can trust you.
Speaker 1: Oh, you can trust me. I've got a plan, a
Speaker 1: bondboard plan that doesn't work, guys.
Speaker 3: I think it works. I think that's what we go with.
Speaker 3: That's what we've been missing, all right, you guys, we're
Speaker 3: not going to go through the front. So there's a
Speaker 3: guard that causes aside. And I know his father, all right,
Speaker 3: we're close friends. We're drinking buddies. We drink sugar water together.
Speaker 3: So he pre peaes, sorry, I just got a sudden
Speaker 3: pain in my heart. Okay, sorry, Oh that's quite a lot.
Speaker 3: So anyway, so you guys go to the side of
Speaker 3: the castle.
Speaker 5: He's in the character an actual heart attack.
Speaker 3: Is your left arm numb? Are you tasting copper right.
Speaker 1: Out?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: So you guys approach the side of the castle when
Speaker 1: there is a guard there and he's he's guarding one
Speaker 1: of the entrances up and bon Bon approaches him and goes, mmmm,
Speaker 1: she you're doing your job well, and that goes, oh,
Speaker 1: lord Bonbon, Sir, yes, I'm doing I'm doing I'm guarding
Speaker 1: because they sent my older brother to to the battle,
Speaker 1: so they've I'm the only one here. Well, is your
Speaker 1: lucky day, little jingle fizz. Your father is out there celebrating.
Speaker 1: He's going to launch off some sugar fireworks, so I'm
Speaker 1: snap crackling pops the.
Speaker 3: It's good.
Speaker 1: From wagon wheels right, And he wants his only well
Speaker 1: what his son, to be there for him. But sir,
Speaker 1: I've got a god that you don't have to guard
Speaker 1: the castle. Nobody's going to be It's the day before
Speaker 1: a marriage. Oh, everybody's fighting out there. If there were
Speaker 1: intruders in the city, the guards at the gate.
Speaker 3: Would alert us. And there's no intruders in the city.
Speaker 1: You don't have to guard the castle. Plus, I could
Speaker 1: put in a good word with you know who. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: all right, lord okay, and he leaves, and the and
Speaker 1: the bond, Lord bonfor goes.
Speaker 4: You like that?
Speaker 1: Huh, that's what that's diplomacy.
Speaker 3: That was remarkably impressive. So Mara will give him this.
Speaker 3: That was a good use of persuasion. That was genuinely
Speaker 3: quite impressive. Yes, yes, dude, So that's what that's what
Speaker 3: an emissary does. Then I guess, oh come here. From
Speaker 3: here on out, we may have to use stealth. Oh,
Speaker 3: don't worry, I'm great at stealth.
Speaker 1: He goes, I can blend in with my surroundings, and he's.
Speaker 3: Into a boulder.
Speaker 1: Well, well, he's doing very something very similar. He puts
Speaker 1: his arms together, his head comes down, he becomes a
Speaker 1: giant jawbreaker, like a giant gold stopper.
Speaker 3: Cool.
Speaker 1: He just rolls into the castle.
Speaker 3: All right, I'll do that too.
Speaker 4: I turn into a ball dog and Robert and I
Speaker 4: roll and I'm thinking about like.
Speaker 1: Hammond from Overwatch, right, like wa turns into a ball.
Speaker 4: I haven't played Overwatch in a lot of years. They've
Speaker 4: probably added a lot of characters since then. I like,
Speaker 4: he can play Overwatch. Okay, I can't do that.
Speaker 2: Well, I can't duck down and then just start rolling
Speaker 2: pole forward, floor, roll repeatedly to get to them.
Speaker 1: Okay, idea stealth roll. I'm going to Yeah, I'm going
Speaker 1: to do just with advantage because of your disguises. Okay,
Speaker 1: so if you for give me stealth seven seventeen, but
Speaker 1: with advantage you have advantage, yeah, seventeen Also great segment
Speaker 1: with advantage please twenty advantage.
Speaker 3: Ship as well, please.
Speaker 1: With a vantage fifteen. Yeah, the average is good. You
Speaker 1: guys are good.
Speaker 3: You're sneaking through the shadowy corridors of this kind of.
Speaker 1: Yeah probably yeah, probably also turning to a ball, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I can.
Speaker 5: I can.
Speaker 3: Yeah. You look like a big gun drop machine, spin cycle,
Speaker 3: just going. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Occasionally a guard will turn and look and go. I
Speaker 1: thought something was there, but it's actually just four giant sweets.
Speaker 3: I'll be honest. I think if everyone else is doing it,
Speaker 3: Sigma is fully peer pressured and.
Speaker 1: You're like a very sweet like that's the only one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: these must be the special sweets the king is ordered
Speaker 1: for the wedding. Okay, back to playing card games with
Speaker 1: my best.
Speaker 3: Friend instead of playing the Vistoria card game. Yeah. Weirdly enough,
Speaker 3: balloon manned me again.
Speaker 1: Real, Mystoria players know what that means. So you guys
Speaker 1: roll until eventually, I guess you're going to reach the
Speaker 1: throne room.
Speaker 3: We just go from doors straight to throne room.
Speaker 1: Awesome, ye, we'll you're navigating through.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Really is not dissimilar to what you wanted to
Speaker 3: do with the tree Craig. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean
Speaker 3: we're here. It's not dissimilar to how this all again.
Speaker 3: I'm surprised this is actually working. And now you're the
Speaker 3: throne room.
Speaker 1: Obviously there's nobody here, like the King's not here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you you roll, I mean you you're here now
Speaker 1: I assume we've got to be higher for here. There's
Speaker 1: nobody in the throne room, by the way, like the
Speaker 1: god there were guards outside the front door, but there's
Speaker 1: nobody inside.
Speaker 2: To turn to Sigma sigma crack. Yes, now we are inside.
Speaker 2: Are we still in need of Lord Bonbond's assistance or
Speaker 2: do we need to away get him?
Speaker 3: Are we asked? Are you asking me to put him
Speaker 3: in the fridge? Is what you're saying. No, I don't
Speaker 3: believe a fridge is a good idea. I don't want
Speaker 3: to carry him around. The fridge is pretty fully you've
Speaker 3: already got it's uh, a spud should be no, no
Speaker 3: spuds in that. Yeah, spuds, lord Spud, Yes, spuds in that.
Speaker 3: The problem is that this lord, obviously he's a bit
Speaker 3: of a loose end. M all right, I have an idea.
Speaker 3: I open up the fridge. I like where this is go?
Speaker 3: It comes tumbling out, Lord Spud.
Speaker 4: Now it is time to take your rightful seat as
Speaker 4: the ruler of the Kendy kingdom.
Speaker 3: What is going on?
Speaker 7: Mad?
Speaker 3: This is big quick moment. You don't become king just
Speaker 3: by sitting on the throne.
Speaker 4: No, see as that is one hundred percent how it works.
Speaker 4: It's like king of the hill kind of rule with
Speaker 4: the thrown on top of the hill.
Speaker 1: Obscurring is a fucked up place.
Speaker 4: Right, my Maybe not all ashcar places work, but specifically, yeah,
Speaker 4: this is back to a war torn country.
Speaker 3: Yep. There are different rules, different regulations, here. You can't
Speaker 3: just put a man on a throne and say he's
Speaker 3: now in charge. There needs to be are you sure?
Speaker 3: There needs to be a diplomatic accept acceptance of it.
Speaker 3: But you know what a good one. Let's try. All right,
Speaker 3: this might work. Who knows? All right, spud, go sit
Speaker 3: on that plant your keyster on that throne up there.
Speaker 1: He steps towards the throne, Lord Bonbon goes, no, don't
Speaker 1: you dare not thrown? Shove him in the fridge, The
Speaker 1: Lord Bonbon, yes, give me a fuck strength contest.
Speaker 3: You critically failed. He might critically fail to though, And.
Speaker 1: To be honest, he has a minus three, so he
Speaker 1: could actually you could. He could still lose here because
Speaker 1: the critical failure is in the auto. You can still
Speaker 1: roll less than four. Here he rolls four, He rolls
Speaker 1: exactly four. Going to just have a slap fight, trying
Speaker 1: to get him into Yeah, yeah, yeah what what traders?
Speaker 3: Traders?
Speaker 1: You guys are traders. You're betraying me, your lord the
Speaker 1: lord had should have known.
Speaker 3: He should have known.
Speaker 1: Huh.
Speaker 3: I would like to assist and push Bonbon into the fridge.
Speaker 4: YEA, if it's one of those things where if we
Speaker 4: are equal, then like, I don't know, I have a
Speaker 4: plus three to strength.
Speaker 3: What's his modify?
Speaker 1: Well, Rickman, just give me a fucking shredth because.
Speaker 3: Failing we should be good here, you know what.
Speaker 1: Five, I'm rolling for him again because because he wrote
Speaker 1: again at that point. Now he's in the fridge. But
Speaker 1: he said, even the fridge let me out here.
Speaker 3: Okay, why did you shove him in the fridge? Well no,
Speaker 3: you know, it's okay. He abuses his wife, all right, Spud, I.
Speaker 2: Was just going to tell him to go home. We
Speaker 2: send him home, Sigma. We're sending him back to abuse
Speaker 2: that old lady some more. Now she may not be perfect,
Speaker 2: she may agree with some difficult things, but she doesn't
Speaker 2: deserve the abuse he was giving her.
Speaker 3: Oh but they thought we are going to, you know,
Speaker 3: handle it in time. We will.
Speaker 4: That's why he's in the Yeah, yeah, yeah, just the
Speaker 4: fridge is Yeah, we put them in there when you know,
Speaker 4: we need to deal with that problem later and hopefully
Speaker 4: we won't forget about them.
Speaker 1: You're going to convert this fridge into an iron maiden
Speaker 1: at some point.
Speaker 3: You've got plans with the fridge. Yeah, all right, how's
Speaker 3: sitting on the chair going?
Speaker 1: Oh, It doesn't feel right, but I would do it.
Speaker 1: He sits on the throne, a magical moment as he
Speaker 1: leans back, gazing.
Speaker 3: Over the throne room. You look resplendent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just a chat, doesn't really do anything.
Speaker 3: I kind of I've expected it to be trapped. Yeah,
Speaker 3: me too. I was hoping it wouldn't blow up.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good trap his own chat throne?
Speaker 3: Yeah, is that does it?
Speaker 4: Recline? Is there like a scepter next to it? A
Speaker 4: cup holders? What are the features? Yeah, that's ruling ruling
Speaker 4: in style. There going into a bed? What is this?
Speaker 1: Do?
Speaker 3: Light lights?
Speaker 1: The lights go dark and they're like pink spotlights that
Speaker 1: out like shiding ground and.
Speaker 4: All right, spot maybe just be careful pushing any more buttons.
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, I won't Okay, I kept him. It's a
Speaker 3: huge the way. Yes, I was just saying what the
Speaker 3: king was into. Yes, sorry, yeah for his huge cock.
Speaker 3: The Now that we're here in the throne room, obviously
Speaker 3: the king is not in the palace tonight, but I'm
Speaker 3: assuming he'll return here to sleep if we find his room,
Speaker 3: which and I like, turn to the bed with the
Speaker 3: pink spotlights. This might be it, but if we find
Speaker 3: where he's sleeping, we could intercept him before he goes
Speaker 3: to bed and have the conversation with him tonight.
Speaker 2: Excellent excellent plan, excellent idea. Now part of me believes
Speaker 2: that the bed we're looking at right now is more
Speaker 2: of a perfomman's chamber unless of an actual sleeping, comfortable
Speaker 2: bedroom area. This is anything a bit of an exhibitionist
Speaker 2: thing going on. So we can either wait here for
Speaker 2: him the king to come back, or we can go
Speaker 2: and find where his actual room is.
Speaker 3: I vote for the second one. We could Yeah, we
Speaker 3: could split up, or we could look around. Is there
Speaker 3: anything behind the throne, like a door or anything? What's
Speaker 3: behind the throne? Uh? Nothing?
Speaker 1: Oh and more buttons. I could press them.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're the king, so you could do whatever.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to say low bum but is
Speaker 1: still alive in the fridge. So he is making a
Speaker 1: lot of noise that he's banging on the fridge.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's the sound proof fridge, so it's not true.
Speaker 3: It's insulated. Though it is insulated. It's he's uh pressing
Speaker 3: in the vienna. Before we press buttons, could you silence
Speaker 3: this bon bon? Oh? You could you could do that.
Speaker 3: Our hands are very good at silence. Yeah, I assume.
Speaker 3: I assume he wants me to to punch. I thought
Speaker 3: you're actually gonna cast silence him.
Speaker 5: Yes, I suppose I could.
Speaker 1: All right, all right, open the fridge door.
Speaker 4: You're gonna no, no, no, no, here's what's gonna okay,
Speaker 4: lord bonbon all right, we'll let you out.
Speaker 3: You just gotta stop pounding. Okay, are you going to
Speaker 3: kill me?
Speaker 12: No?
Speaker 4: Just you can't stop making noise, and I'll open the
Speaker 4: door immediately and I will not hurt you.
Speaker 3: I don't trust you because I am kind of I
Speaker 3: asked the test. I nothing chest test. We believe that
Speaker 3: there was a bomb planted under the throne itself, so
Speaker 3: we sent one of our loyal minions onto the throne
Speaker 3: to sit and see if it exploded. But to make
Speaker 3: sure that you were protected. In the case of an explosion,
Speaker 3: we placed you inside this fridge. I do need another
Speaker 3: deception here, but it's so much better than I feel
Speaker 3: pretty confident with that plan. Is to be fair, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I hope they don't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, the first trip we got today, I think, well, well, well, you.
Speaker 2: See, we couldn't risk putting you in any danger at all,
Speaker 2: but we had to take every precaution we could.
Speaker 3: Well twenty six.
Speaker 1: What a wonderful test, I admit I was. I was
Speaker 1: never fooled. I knew it was the whole time. I
Speaker 1: was just playing my part most long excellently, Lord Bonbon.
Speaker 1: Now we have ascertained there is indeed no explosive device
Speaker 1: of the three. If you remember what I said before,
Speaker 1: the king is not in the palace tonight.
Speaker 3: I don't even remember that, not even to sleep. He
Speaker 3: returns he will. Where does he sleep, obviously we know,
Speaker 3: But where do you think he sleeps?
Speaker 1: Nobody knows.
Speaker 3: I'm sure you know. It would be very helpful if
Speaker 3: you did.
Speaker 1: He walks off into the forest, and which happens every morning.
Speaker 1: It's something to do with the fund that he's a
Speaker 1: giant gingerbread man. I don't ask questions, all right, a
Speaker 1: sigma sigma.
Speaker 3: I do want you to prepare for the fact there
Speaker 3: is a very small chance the king is fucking the dragon.
Speaker 3: Oh that dragon.
Speaker 5: Oh shit, I didn't say I did immediately go to
Speaker 5: the dragon.
Speaker 3: I completely forgot about the dragon. The dragon. There is
Speaker 3: a giant gingerbread dragon. There is a gingerbread dragon out
Speaker 3: there at holy shit. Okay, okay, this is just really
Speaker 3: where he was from. Do you know where in the
Speaker 3: forest he goes to?
Speaker 1: Just goes out.
Speaker 3: I don't follow him. I see what if protecting him
Speaker 3: means following him?
Speaker 1: You want to go into the forest, that's where the
Speaker 1: gingerbread dragon is.
Speaker 3: We're well aware. But are you brave enough? No? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: no no.
Speaker 1: I am not going to the forest. I will stay
Speaker 1: here and protect the king in the morning. You said
Speaker 1: the assassin was assassinating him in them during in the wedding. Anyway, like,
Speaker 1: that's the whole point of where.
Speaker 3: We can to be too careful. You know what if
Speaker 3: they followed him home, exactly what? I will stay here.
Speaker 3: I think I think you will be courageous enough to
Speaker 3: conquer that dragon.
Speaker 5: No, maybe maybe we can go and he can stay
Speaker 5: here and keep watch.
Speaker 2: Yes, through Lord Bonbon, Lord, believe you may be the
Speaker 2: only person capable of sitting on that throne and keeping
Speaker 2: it safe.
Speaker 1: He does you know he was going to get here
Speaker 1: early in the morning before anybody else does. If you
Speaker 1: want a wa to one appointment with the king, you
Speaker 1: will get it if you wait here, if that is
Speaker 1: what you want.
Speaker 3: But if you want to fight a gingerbread dragon, go
Speaker 3: to the forest. No, I think the one on one
Speaker 3: appointment with the king sounds like a great idea. And
Speaker 3: then depending on how that goes, we may or may
Speaker 3: not get the dragon involved somehow anything. So we're staying here.
Speaker 3: Then I think that's the best course of action.
Speaker 2: Okay, how many points of entrance are there to the
Speaker 2: throne room that we're in, just in case we need
Speaker 2: to defend from a random attack into this room?
Speaker 1: One?
Speaker 3: Can I check? And can I also check if there's
Speaker 3: can there's any hidden.
Speaker 1: Give me that give me that perception? Check under the throne, Yes,
Speaker 1: is a hidden entrance, and you l one of the
Speaker 1: buttons of the throne if you you're sort of tracing
Speaker 1: your hand around the side, and there's this one candied
Speaker 1: brick that's slightly different. Your keen ices that you press
Speaker 1: it down. This door opens up and there is a
Speaker 1: small room there and inside is a small man in
Speaker 1: kind of like a like almost like a video game
Speaker 1: set up, and he turns round he.
Speaker 3: Goes, oh, shyser To be continued.
Speaker 1: The last of the sun's light bled out across the horizon,
Speaker 1: smeared thin and ugly. A night took hold of the
Speaker 1: planet with the casual confidence of something that knew it
Speaker 1: couldn't be stopped. It was only then that Sweet grasp
Speaker 1: the full depth of his own naivete, and it settled
Speaker 1: on him like a bad debt. He'd been wandering the
Speaker 1: Spice Plains for hours, marching along with nothing but stubborness
Speaker 1: for a compass, and it hadn't once occurred to him
Speaker 1: where he might sleep. No plan, no shelter, just a
Speaker 1: direction and the foolish hope that things would sort themselves out.
Speaker 1: His legs ached, each step dragged heavier than the last,
Speaker 1: and the day pressed down on him, until exhaustion felt
Speaker 1: like less of a threat and more like a promise.
Speaker 1: Maybe he would be fine to stop, just for a while,
Speaker 1: he told himself. He was warm enough in his armor,
Speaker 1: so he slowed down, picked a spot by a nearby
Speaker 1: salt rock, and lowered himself to the ground. Just a
Speaker 1: short rest, he thought, small nap, long enough to recharge
Speaker 1: before moving on. Sweet came awake, choking water in his nose,
Speaker 1: his mouthful fire of his eyes, lungs clawing for air
Speaker 1: that refused to arrive on time. He jerked forward on
Speaker 1: instinct and discovered very quickly and very painfully, that he couldn't.
Speaker 1: Ropes bit into his wrists and ankles, rough and tight,
Speaker 1: pinning him in place. As he coughed and spluttered, head pounding,
Speaker 1: hearts slamming against his ribs like it wanted out. Someone laughed,
Speaker 1: not kindly, easy there a voice rumbled, deep and amused.
Speaker 3: You're awake now.
Speaker 1: Sweet blinked water from his eyes. Morning lights stabbed in,
Speaker 1: pale and sharp, and slowly the world pulled itself together,
Speaker 1: canvas tents, a low fire burning down to embers, boots
Speaker 1: in the dust, and looming directly in front of him,
Speaker 1: a lichen big even by lichen standards, burly broad as
Speaker 1: a tank, hunched slightly like the crown itself, had learned
Speaker 1: to be cautious around him. Four eyes regarded Sweet with
Speaker 1: lazy interest, Two fixed on his face, too drifting, watching
Speaker 1: everything else at once. Scars cris crossed his muzzle and neck,
Speaker 1: old work done thoroughly, and one lip cold, just enough
Speaker 1: to suggest he enjoyed what came next. His hands were
Speaker 1: swallowed by mass of iron gauntlets, dented and stained, made
Speaker 1: for breaking things that didn't want to break. Sweet's stomach
Speaker 1: dropped his armor was gone. The comforting weight of it,
Speaker 1: the clink and pressure that had always told him who
Speaker 1: he was, stripped away. He felt small without it, soft,
Speaker 1: exposed and away. No blade had ever managed. Behind the
Speaker 1: like stood a handful of others, half a circle of
Speaker 1: curious faces, mostly human, travel worn and watchful, eyeing Sweet
Speaker 1: the way you might eye an unfamiliar animal, not immediately hostile,
Speaker 1: but very interested in how dangerous it might be. One
Speaker 1: of them leaned on a rifle, another chewed something that
Speaker 1: looked unpleasant. The Lichen leaned closer, shadows cutting deep across
Speaker 1: his scarred face. All four eyes narrowed, just a touch mourning.
Speaker 1: He said, you big, to bad place to nap. Sweet swallowed,
Speaker 1: and it took an effort not to flinch as the
Speaker 1: wolf's breath washed over his face, hot and sour and
Speaker 1: far too close for comfort.
Speaker 3: This was new.
Speaker 1: He'd managed tense talks before, across tables behind armor, with
Speaker 1: rules and witnesses, but never tied up on the ground
Speaker 1: with a Lichen loomin over him like he was dinner.
Speaker 1: Despite his namesake. Still, training was training, and when steel
Speaker 1: wasn't an option, manners were be polite, be noble, project
Speaker 1: confidence and hope it passed for strength. I offer my
Speaker 1: sincerius apologies, he found hisself, saying, wriggling against the ropes
Speaker 1: with what dynacy he could muster under the circumstances. Are
Speaker 1: you assure you this lapse in campsite selection will not
Speaker 1: be repeated in future? I intend to nab only in
Speaker 1: locations of unimpeachable safety and proper signage. He cleared his throat,
Speaker 1: lifting his chin as though addressing a court rather than
Speaker 1: a collection of armed strangers. And if this regrettable misjudgment
Speaker 1: is the full extent of my transgression, might we now
Speaker 1: proceed to my release, so that I may remove myself
Speaker 1: from your morning in the most orderly and laurabiding fashion possible.
Speaker 1: The lichen stared for him for half a heart beat.
Speaker 1: Then he laughed. It came out loud and rough, a
Speaker 1: barking sound that rolled through the camp and sat a
Speaker 1: couple of the men grinning. His shoulders shook as he
Speaker 1: leaned back, metal gauntlets clanking softly. You dork, funny, he said,
Speaker 1: wiping at one corner of his muzzle. Sweet flushed of
Speaker 1: all the things he'd been trained for combat drills etiquete
Speaker 1: lessons moral philosophy under pressure. Being mocked for how he
Speaker 1: spoke hadn't come up nearly enough. He reminded himself that nignity,
Speaker 1: once lost, was difficult to recover, and settled for holding
Speaker 1: very still. The lichen tilted his head, so he rumbled,
Speaker 1: what name do you go by?
Speaker 3: Sweet?
Speaker 1: He replied at once prompt, No nonsense. That earned another
Speaker 1: snort Sweet. He glanced behind him to where Sweet's uniform
Speaker 1: was being held hostage armor like that doesn't come from nowhere?
Speaker 1: Kaiser's knights.
Speaker 3: Yea. His eyes flicked back to Sweet's face. What happened?
Speaker 3: You're lost, Sweet.
Speaker 1: Drew in a careful breath. I was indeed formerly in
Speaker 1: service of Kaiser, he said, However, I have since chosen
Speaker 1: to enter voluntary exile. I seeks for the greater outside
Speaker 1: the kingdom. The word sounded strange outloud, larger, more fragile.
Speaker 1: More silence followed. Then the lichenbarked out another laugh, louder
Speaker 1: this time. That's the stupidest thing I've heard all week,
Speaker 1: he said, cheerfully, willingly chasing a worse life, No pay,
Speaker 1: no protection. He shook his head, amused and baffled in
Speaker 1: equal measure still, he added, eyes sharp again, take some
Speaker 1: level of guts to turn your back on authority like that.
Speaker 1: He leaned in close once more, four eyes boring into Sweets.
Speaker 1: That is, of course, he said softly. If you're telling the.
Speaker 3: Truth, what cause would I have to lie?
Speaker 1: Sweet said, keeping his voice level, though his throat had
Speaker 1: gone tight. You could be a spy, The lichen sniled back, scoldingly. Gone,
Speaker 1: there's a war on last time I checked. Come on, Marx.
Speaker 1: Another voice cut in lighter, sharper. A human girl perched
Speaker 1: on a crate short distance away, wrapped in traveled stained
Speaker 1: Brown's watching the scene with a frown on her face.
Speaker 1: If he were a spy, would he really be sleeping
Speaker 1: out rough in the middle of the Spice Plains?
Speaker 3: Mok shot her a look.
Speaker 1: He might be a shit spy, he snapped, wouldn't be
Speaker 1: the first. He turned back to Sweet, lips curling, and
Speaker 1: we can't afford to be careless with your handed as
Speaker 1: it is. He stepped away, then gauntlet's clanking as he
Speaker 1: started rummaging through a bag. Sweet hesitated, then cleared his throat.
Speaker 1: Manners first fear, second, may I wire, he said, carefully,
Speaker 1: as to who you are Max looked up from the
Speaker 1: bag and smiled. It was all teeth, too many of them,
Speaker 1: non friendly, Oh, he said, amused. Look who's asking questions now?
Speaker 1: He straightened, rolling his shoulders, as if settling into a
Speaker 1: familiar story. Who could say, we are what's left underneath,
Speaker 1: the ones who slipped, the ones who fell through, the
Speaker 1: cracks left behind by Gastorvia's leaders. His eyes swept the camp,
Speaker 1: the people, the dust, those they deemed too undeserving to eat.
Speaker 1: He returned his gaze to the bag. The coolaselves, the
Speaker 1: starved mental glinted in the morning light. A collar heavy,
Speaker 1: ugly cables and seams running through it like veins. The
Speaker 1: girl and the crate stiffened immediately, Marks don't. Her voice
Speaker 1: was sharp. Now we haven't agreed on Mox didn't look
Speaker 1: at her. He stepped forward instead. Sweet's heart started to race.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I must protest. The cold metal closed around
Speaker 1: his neck with a final, awful click. The weight of
Speaker 1: it settled there, undeniable, pressing against his throat. Sweet sucked
Speaker 1: in a breath that came out thin and panicked. Mox
Speaker 1: leaned back, satisfied. It isn't easy to get these things
Speaker 1: fitted on a dull he muttered, they've got odd necks.
Speaker 3: Sweet voice wavered despite his best efforts.
Speaker 1: What is this?
Speaker 3: What's this device?
Speaker 1: Mox's smile returned, slow and mean. Security, he said, detonation collar,
Speaker 1: one button. He mined, a click with his thumb, and
Speaker 1: the problem goes away.
Speaker 3: He crouched in.
Speaker 1: Front of him, metal creaking eyes leveled with sweets. Up close,
Speaker 1: the scars looked deeper, older, earned. You should feel lucky,
Speaker 1: he said quietly. Most folks we find out here don't
Speaker 1: get a conversation. They get a bullet and a shallow grave.
Speaker 1: He straightened, glancing back at the others. You at least
Speaker 1: get a chance. Ods, So what precisely at proving you're
Speaker 1: worth the trouble of keeping alive? Mark said, simple as that.
Speaker 1: He paced a few steps, voice growing more animated, now
Speaker 1: carried by conviction rather than threat.
Speaker 3: You say you're a.
Speaker 1: Knight trained, I assume thoughts for Kaiser, that's valuable experience.
Speaker 1: He flicked a glance back at Sweet. If you're telling
Speaker 1: the truth, that skill could be useful. He gestured vaguely
Speaker 1: towards the horizon, towards the unseen chaos in the distance.
Speaker 1: See ivil war is a gift if you know how
Speaker 1: to unwrap it. War Lords staring at each other, bleeding themselves,
Speaker 1: thin eyes, Ford Backs exposed.
Speaker 3: His fangs, shone in the light.
Speaker 1: And so we strike where they aren't looking. Sweet felt
Speaker 1: the shape of a trap closing, neat and unavoidable. And
Speaker 1: you Max's finished will help us do it, whether you
Speaker 1: want or not. He rose to his full height, now
Speaker 1: casting a long shadow of a suite. Congratulations, sir Knight,
Speaker 1: he said, You've just found your greater purpose,