WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:06.839 From workhouse connect in aj Benze fame. Uh, he'd liked 2 00:00:06.839 --> 00:00:09.119 to be walked on a leash and play really dirty, 3 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:12.519 kinky sex games. He's uh the guy put the cock 4 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:17.519 in the peacock network. Okay, bitch, Hey, everybody, AJ benz 5 00:00:17.519 --> 00:00:19.800 A here with fameous it. Bitch. This is your daily 6 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:24.359 Unfiltered podcast for June eighth, twenty twenty six. O six 7 00:00:24.719 --> 00:00:28.039 eight two oh two six. We gotta leave the numbers 8 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:32.280 and let's see June eighth. Let me get my account. 9 00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:36.000 I'm very bit at math calculating. Here we go. We're 10 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:40.479 gonna go two oh two six minus nineteen eighty six. 11 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:45.880 That's easy. Forty years ago today was my first wedding 12 00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:50.960 to Jennifer Coletta of one Sylvia Drive West is six 13 00:00:51.119 --> 00:00:54.159 six one eight four three two. You know I got 14 00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:58.280 all that right. Don't even know my kids numbers by heart, 15 00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:01.759 because I've been punching their name on my cell phone. 16 00:01:01.799 --> 00:01:05.359 But when you dollar number incessantly for years and years, 17 00:01:05.400 --> 00:01:08.959 it sticks in your head. Jennifer was six six fourth 18 00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:13.519 three two. Yeah. Wow. I was telling Rock all about it. 19 00:01:13.519 --> 00:01:15.719 Because my son doesn't know much about the first marriage. 20 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:18.719 I regale him with stories and he laughs about some 21 00:01:18.760 --> 00:01:23.879 of the shit that went on. How you know, I 22 00:01:23.920 --> 00:01:27.239 actually went to the church today. She got married. I 23 00:01:27.280 --> 00:01:30.040 didn't like the guy she married, and friends of mine 24 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:31.840 told me he's no good, and it turned out he 25 00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:35.680 was bad. They were together twenty years, but he was 26 00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:39.599 a real piece of shit. And when they finally divorced, 27 00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:42.560 she sent me a Facebook request and said, can we 28 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:45.799 please be friends? She wasn't allowed to be friends of me. 29 00:01:45.879 --> 00:01:47.959 She wasn't allowed to read my book, wasn't allowed to 30 00:01:47.959 --> 00:01:53.319 see Rocky Balboa because this crazy fucking guy was that jealous. 31 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:56.920 But I went to the church to see. I sat 32 00:01:56.959 --> 00:01:59.959 in the back row so I wouldn't be a nuisance, 33 00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:02.400 you know. And then when they're about to turn around 34 00:02:02.439 --> 00:02:05.040 and walk back up, the ally split. But I wanted 35 00:02:05.079 --> 00:02:07.599 to see them. I don't know why, for the story, 36 00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:10.520 so that forty years later I could tell the story. 37 00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:14.360 I don't know why I put myself in those positions. 38 00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:17.960 Very weird day, the last couple of days over the weekend, 39 00:02:19.439 --> 00:02:23.560 you know, I mean Cloud nine with my knicks coming 40 00:02:23.639 --> 00:02:26.680 back from minus four down fourteen to beat the Spurs. 41 00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:30.680 The Spurs looked shook and rattled and way too young. 42 00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:34.719 The Knicks looked like grown men playing basketball seven touches 43 00:02:34.759 --> 00:02:37.960 before someone shoots the ball. I haven't seen movement like 44 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:41.919 this since Golden State Worries, before that the Celtics, and 45 00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:45.039 before that the old New York Knicks. I mean there 46 00:02:45.039 --> 00:02:47.360 are many other teams too, The Spurs with Tim Duncan 47 00:02:47.439 --> 00:02:51.439 and Jenobileye and many great teams move the ball around quickly. Man, 48 00:02:51.479 --> 00:02:54.800 we look good. Two more ago. Trump will be at 49 00:02:54.840 --> 00:02:57.439 tonight's game. I'm sure he's going to be in a suite. 50 00:02:57.800 --> 00:03:00.599 Some people don't think he should go. I don't know 51 00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:03.719 what they mean. He used to always be at Nick games. 52 00:03:03.759 --> 00:03:07.919 He always sat courtside with one beauty after another, and 53 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:09.439 they used to piss me off. I used to go, 54 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:11.800 why is this guy at the fucking game? He's got 55 00:03:11.879 --> 00:03:14.560 children at home? Why doesn't he take his kids out? 56 00:03:14.719 --> 00:03:17.360 Why does he have to be with Kimberly konrad Hefner, 57 00:03:17.800 --> 00:03:20.719 Why does he have to be with Sandy Taylor or 58 00:03:20.759 --> 00:03:24.000 another penthouse pet? Beautiful women, but like, go home to 59 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:28.479 see your kids. Meanwhile, you know his kids turned out 60 00:03:28.520 --> 00:03:32.599 fine and everything worked that vam, didn't it Jesus Christ? 61 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:36.240 But yeah, a very weird couple of days coming off 62 00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:39.719 that high of the NIXT winning. I'll get to that 63 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:44.120 in the moment, but first I clok the documentary on 64 00:03:44.199 --> 00:03:51.280 Peacock about Louren Michael's career at SNL, and you know, 65 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:53.879 really it was special for me to see that because 66 00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:56.280 I've been behind the scenes. I've seen how the sausage 67 00:03:56.360 --> 00:03:59.080 is made, having done the show once, even though it's 68 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:02.919 just two sketches, I was there for rehearsal, and frankly, 69 00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:04.560 I went more than I needed to go because I 70 00:04:04.560 --> 00:04:09.080 wanted to see everything get done. It's fascinating. It's a 71 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:12.479 comedy factory. I mean, if there was no Esset, think 72 00:04:12.520 --> 00:04:16.639 of the comedians and the movies, the funny movies that 73 00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:21.600 has been that's spawned from the talent Lauren Michaels has 74 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:28.040 picked from obscurity, so to speak. I mean, many of 75 00:04:28.040 --> 00:04:31.480 those people would have been famous anyhow. Their talent is talent, 76 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:37.920 but man, just think about it. Unbelievable. So the documentary 77 00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:41.399 is great because Lauren Michaels is portrayed as this kind 78 00:04:41.399 --> 00:04:45.079 of very even keeled guy. He's been running the business 79 00:04:45.079 --> 00:04:47.000 the same way for a long time. He stays up 80 00:04:47.079 --> 00:04:50.519 till four am, wakes up at noon. The first meeting 81 00:04:50.519 --> 00:04:53.720 of the day is four pm. For him, He'll make 82 00:04:53.759 --> 00:04:55.759 you wait two to three hours in front of his door. 83 00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:58.879 Very eccentric. Guy has a blueberry farm, I think up 84 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:05.639 in Maine. But I mean, you know, Chevy Ackroy Belushi, 85 00:05:05.839 --> 00:05:13.759 Eddie Murphy, Dennis Miller, forget it, Phil Hartman, Tata Fe. 86 00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:18.800 It goes on and on on and on. And you 87 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:21.120 know when I went there, when I was hired for 88 00:05:21.199 --> 00:05:24.560 those two sketches, I said, I gotta bring something good. 89 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:28.560 I got a bottle of a nice bottle liquor to Jerry, 90 00:05:29.160 --> 00:05:33.160 and something nice for Lorn. Jerry was the host, and 91 00:05:33.240 --> 00:05:36.160 I bought them two really nice bottles of scotch Johnny 92 00:05:36.199 --> 00:05:39.399 Walker whatever the top brand was back then. It wasn't blue, 93 00:05:39.480 --> 00:05:43.000 maybe it was black. Whatever the top brand was, Doers whatever, 94 00:05:43.399 --> 00:05:48.279 tippy top Scotch. Right, And they both looked at me like, like, 95 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:51.079 no one does this. It was such a strang like 96 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:53.920 you never received the gift, You never received a thank 97 00:05:53.959 --> 00:05:56.920 you gift from somebody who appreciates what you did. They 98 00:05:56.959 --> 00:05:59.199 looked at me like I was crazy. I don't know. 99 00:05:59.720 --> 00:06:03.160 I mean, I had just come off me and Michael. 100 00:06:03.399 --> 00:06:07.040 What is Michael really broke the initial story about Jerry 101 00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:11.319 dating Shoshanna Lonstein when she was nineteen he was thirty one. 102 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:14.839 But the day we saw them, me, Linda Staysy and 103 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:17.240 Michael were in a Knicks game, a playoff game, and 104 00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:20.759 we saw them sitting courtside, and Linda was like, who 105 00:06:20.839 --> 00:06:23.920 is that girl? We loved her because she's stacked right 106 00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:26.920 and she's got a pretty face. But from you know, 107 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:29.720 from I don't know, two hundred feet away, you could see, 108 00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:32.040 oh my god, what a body. No one knew she 109 00:06:32.120 --> 00:06:34.959 was young. And that's when Michael called the house and 110 00:06:35.879 --> 00:06:38.720 he got her number and we had to confirm she 111 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:43.439 was seeing him, and he called and she picked up 112 00:06:43.759 --> 00:06:47.079 and it was during dinner time, and she said, it's 113 00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:49.240 how young she was. He was asking her, is it 114 00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:52.480 true you're seeing Jerry Seinfeld? You saw you the Nick 115 00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:54.720 game last night? Is he your boyfriend and you're dating? 116 00:06:55.399 --> 00:06:59.240 And she's like yeah, yeah, and you hear like the 117 00:06:59.319 --> 00:07:01.480 parents talk in the background, who is it? Who is it? 118 00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:04.399 And she goes, I have to go now, we're eating dinner, 119 00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:09.199 like something a kid would say. Then he married the 120 00:07:10.959 --> 00:07:12.800 needle landed chick or the shick who was with the 121 00:07:12.839 --> 00:07:16.879 needle landed guy ah Shirshana was the one, but look, 122 00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:19.600 Jerry Seinfeld's got a great life. Who am I to 123 00:07:19.639 --> 00:07:24.040 say you picked the wrong girl? But being backstage and 124 00:07:24.879 --> 00:07:27.319 I've told you the story was amazing with David Bowie 125 00:07:27.319 --> 00:07:31.560 there and the pressure cooker of people turning in sketches 126 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:34.600 that could turn down and turn down, and no one 127 00:07:34.680 --> 00:07:37.199 knew Rachel Drats yet. And I happen to see her 128 00:07:37.240 --> 00:07:39.199 crying her eyes out of the floor in the hallway 129 00:07:39.240 --> 00:07:42.279 because another sketch of hers didn't make it. You do 130 00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:44.680 that first show, the rehearsal show in front of a 131 00:07:44.680 --> 00:07:47.120 live audience. Then you've got like an hour or two, 132 00:07:47.120 --> 00:07:50.000 an hour and a half whether the show gets cut 133 00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:52.959 down from a lot of sketches down to the exact 134 00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:55.319 amount they need. So a lot of sketches are cut 135 00:07:55.680 --> 00:07:58.199 never to be heard from again. They just disappear. You 136 00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:03.720 can't like resubmit them week. Once the whole the whole 137 00:08:03.720 --> 00:08:06.800 staff has heard them, it loses its luster. You gotta 138 00:08:06.839 --> 00:08:09.040 go back to the drawing. But some come back, but 139 00:08:09.079 --> 00:08:14.040 it takes like weeks and weeks later. But yeah, man, 140 00:08:14.279 --> 00:08:19.120 it was a great time. And I'll never forget when 141 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:23.000 I walked out on stage and the silly sketch a 142 00:08:23.079 --> 00:08:25.879 guy had grown a pizza place, and I come out 143 00:08:25.879 --> 00:08:29.000 eating a pizza pizza and I had to just say, 144 00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:30.959 fame ain't and the bitch, That's all I had to say. 145 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:35.440 The smoke machine was coming on behind me. It was 146 00:08:35.559 --> 00:08:38.559 just so it meant nothing like a sketch about a 147 00:08:38.559 --> 00:08:41.600 pizza place with the ratio sands and a couple other people. 148 00:08:41.879 --> 00:08:44.720 And then I walk out with the sketches over with 149 00:08:44.720 --> 00:08:47.279 a pizza pizza and they got a whole pie. It 150 00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:50.799 was delicious pizza somewhere in midtown. And they're like, you 151 00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:52.919 get the que cart. I said, no, shue cott. I 152 00:08:52.960 --> 00:08:55.440 see this all the time. But when I'm on that 153 00:08:55.559 --> 00:08:58.600 stage Studio eight h and you look and you see 154 00:08:58.600 --> 00:09:01.279 all those people there, it's sat on a fucking night live, 155 00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:03.600 I said, you know what, Yeah, give me give me 156 00:09:03.639 --> 00:09:06.559 a cue car of all things for me to need 157 00:09:06.600 --> 00:09:09.840 to read Fame. And I saved it for years in 158 00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:12.639 my garage and then with all the moving we did, 159 00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:15.879 it just it got ripped, it trieded it dirty, and 160 00:09:15.879 --> 00:09:18.320 I just threw it out. What am I gonna do 161 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:20.840 with that? I have my little door sign with the 162 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:24.320 snl insignia on it and my name. That was kind 163 00:09:24.320 --> 00:09:29.600 of cool. But I remember I heard Rosalie's laugh, you know, 164 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:32.200 I heard her laugh more than and you can still 165 00:09:32.200 --> 00:09:35.960 hear her laugh when that sketch ends, because she left 166 00:09:36.120 --> 00:09:39.600 first like she normally would do when I tell a joke. 167 00:09:39.960 --> 00:09:43.120 But what a night. And David Bowie's singing three songs 168 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:47.960 when the show ended very different than Paul McCartney's singing 169 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:50.519 his three songs when the show ended a couple of 170 00:09:50.519 --> 00:09:53.080 weeks ago, when he sounded awful. I mean, he's eighty 171 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:55.600 one or eighty and it's time to hang it up. 172 00:09:56.039 --> 00:09:59.519 But Bowie was an animal and that's what he walked 173 00:09:59.519 --> 00:10:03.080 by me re saying fame. And I didn't know anything 174 00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:07.600 him knowing me my show. My show was international. Whoever 175 00:10:07.639 --> 00:10:10.799 thinks that people like David Bowie would know you? And 176 00:10:10.879 --> 00:10:13.320 after he sings fame and the show ends or his 177 00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:17.080 set ends, he walks by me and says, see, it's 178 00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:22.360 not always a bitch. Unbelievable. By the way, do you 179 00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:25.279 go through this? I'm sick and tired of this. How 180 00:10:25.360 --> 00:10:28.879 many times do I spell asshole on a text message 181 00:10:28.919 --> 00:10:32.519 and it becomes asshok? H ok, does this happen to you? 182 00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:38.159 The people in Apple gotta get their shit together. You 183 00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:42.759 know me fix this. If you guys have all our data. 184 00:10:42.840 --> 00:10:44.799 If I text a friend that I need a new 185 00:10:44.840 --> 00:10:47.399 pair of tires on my car, I get tire reeds 186 00:10:47.440 --> 00:10:51.279 on Google. Come on, so they should know, I say, asshole. 187 00:10:51.320 --> 00:10:58.879 I don't call anybody an ass hop. Jesus needed shampoo 188 00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:01.360 the other day, so I ran to Target at a 189 00:11:01.360 --> 00:11:04.720 gift card from Christmas. Oh, this is great. We got 190 00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:09.360 twenty bucks from Okay, good, get some shampoo. I'm looking. 191 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:12.120 There's so many new shampoos. I was using the shampoo 192 00:11:12.159 --> 00:11:16.120 called Native, but it kept making my head itch. Stop 193 00:11:16.240 --> 00:11:19.320 using it. But I'm looking up and down the aisles 194 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:22.679 and I'm looking. How much money does a guy need? 195 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:26.080 Dwayne the Rock Johnson with all his money, well, this 196 00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:32.799 movie style money, his wrestling money, his liquor money, and 197 00:11:32.840 --> 00:11:38.480 now he's got a hair, a hair brand. Like I say, 198 00:11:38.679 --> 00:11:41.320 I never forsake anyone who wants to make more money 199 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:45.000 and make go ahead, God bless strike while the iron 200 00:11:45.080 --> 00:11:47.399 is hot, and his iron is gonna be hot forever. 201 00:11:47.960 --> 00:11:50.559 It's the way it happens to some people. There's not 202 00:11:50.720 --> 00:11:53.039 enough room in the mountain for everybody. Some people get 203 00:11:53.080 --> 00:11:55.320 to the top and fall down a few hundred feet 204 00:11:55.399 --> 00:11:57.679 they live there. Some stay up on the top of 205 00:11:57.679 --> 00:12:00.240 that mountain. You can't budget Rock is one of those people, 206 00:12:01.279 --> 00:12:03.600 and I really do. I don't get jealous of here 207 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:07.000 if they're talented and they're doing some great good. But 208 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:13.000 but come on, why is anybody gonna buy Dwayne the 209 00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:16.200 Rock Johnson's hair product. You gotta be an idiot. The 210 00:12:16.240 --> 00:12:19.399 guy's bold, He's been bold forever. What does he know 211 00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:23.080 about shampoo and conditioner? Why do people think he's a 212 00:12:23.080 --> 00:12:25.120 good example of He ought to know what's good for 213 00:12:25.159 --> 00:12:31.279 our hair? Come on, but yet we do it? By 214 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:36.720 the way, quick announcement from Mike Agavino, our producer, Lord 215 00:12:36.759 --> 00:12:40.320 and savior. He said, I heard from some of you 216 00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:44.080 having difficulty uploading the shows the last few days. Turns 217 00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:48.039 out your frustrations about the podcast being posted are valid. 218 00:12:48.440 --> 00:12:51.240 Mike wrote, Dude, we have a problem with Apple that 219 00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:54.080 I'm trying to resolve. But the Patreon episodes are not 220 00:12:54.159 --> 00:12:58.639 getting distributed to third party apps like Overcast or Spotify 221 00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:03.519 or Apple. Anyone who listens through the Patreon app will 222 00:13:03.559 --> 00:13:06.440 still be able to listen. In the meantime, we'll post 223 00:13:06.519 --> 00:13:09.720 new episodes on the free feed, and people will be 224 00:13:09.799 --> 00:13:13.200 able to listen to that feed through any third party app. 225 00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:16.840 So I realized that he's gonna try to fix it. 226 00:13:16.919 --> 00:13:19.120 The next day or so. He asked me if I 227 00:13:19.159 --> 00:13:22.480 can post it on Facebook, and I did. I wrote 228 00:13:22.480 --> 00:13:24.600 a post about it several hours ago. But for some 229 00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:28.320 god forsaken reason, all my posts now have to be 230 00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:32.799 submitted for approval, like the fucking Twilight Zone submitted for 231 00:13:32.879 --> 00:13:38.559 your approval? Why it's my page? There's nothing dirty about 232 00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:41.279 that that note. Why does it have to be submitted? 233 00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:46.200 Who's approving it? That sounded very much like Seinfeld? Who's 234 00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:50.799 approving the page? And I realized I may be talking 235 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:54.039 right now to people who aren't hearing the show, which 236 00:13:54.120 --> 00:13:59.240 makes no sense. But such aids I have, it'll be fixed. 237 00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:03.200 It will be fixed. We'll get back to normal. Some 238 00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:07.960 news broke over the well on Friday that I find 239 00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:13.360 quite tacky. Knowing the Knicks are going to be in 240 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:17.159 the garden tonight and at least two more times tonight 241 00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:21.879 and Wednesday. Uh, and maybe maybe three more times, right 242 00:14:22.360 --> 00:14:24.799 to one more more? Yeah, it could be three more 243 00:14:24.840 --> 00:14:28.480 times and that's all we're they did right now is 244 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:31.519 the next The Knicks of New York. Madison Square Garden 245 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:35.559 is the Knicks. But now here comes Paris. I'm in Paris. 246 00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:39.720 Here comes Taylor Swift and Travis Kelcey, and the word 247 00:14:39.799 --> 00:14:43.039 is their wedding will take place at Madison Square Garden. 248 00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:48.600 I think that I know they can transform a room. 249 00:14:49.039 --> 00:14:50.879 If you pay the right money to the right people, 250 00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:53.240 they can make a look at These are Hollywood people. 251 00:14:53.639 --> 00:14:56.200 These are set designors that she's hiring to make sure 252 00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:59.600 this wedding is tip top perfect, that no one could 253 00:14:59.639 --> 00:15:04.440 ever to take or duplicate. I should say, but Madison 254 00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:08.080 Square Garden a wedding, there will be you know what, 255 00:15:09.559 --> 00:15:15.480 enough enough. I just pick a beautiful seaside hotel, you know, 256 00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:17.879 on a bluff. What the why do you need to 257 00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:21.399 be at the garden? People are gonna come on off 258 00:15:21.480 --> 00:15:27.080 Seventh Avenue and it doesn't it's just not glamorous. I 259 00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:30.600 know they'll make it glamorous, but no, what does she 260 00:15:30.679 --> 00:15:35.159 think she is? This is not a royal wedding. It's 261 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:39.840 a pop star, a football player. Of course, everyone's been 262 00:15:39.879 --> 00:15:44.240 sworn to secrecy, as we know. And the plan is 263 00:15:44.279 --> 00:15:50.120 Apparently guests are gonna be transported there on blacked out buses, 264 00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:55.320 Coffee big. You see their faces, and there's all different 265 00:15:55.440 --> 00:15:58.799 entrances to Madison Square Garden. There's a lot of security. Obviously, 266 00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:03.679 it's gonna be dangerous. New York is a dangerous city 267 00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:07.240 right now. It's a very odd choice for a ceremony, 268 00:16:07.240 --> 00:16:11.279 if you ask me. I mean, I know she's got 269 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:14.919 a couple of billion dollars. She can transform it into anything. 270 00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:20.679 But that's the word. No one's confirming it. But it 271 00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:25.440 is worth mentioning that MSG has no events planned from 272 00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:30.960 June twenty ninth to July sixth, so perhaps they're leaving 273 00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:38.440 that open for Tayte. Sounds tacking to me, sounds tacky, 274 00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:42.600 and I think the tacking has reached a new level. 275 00:16:42.600 --> 00:16:46.440 When they went to see the Knicks play Cleveland at 276 00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:50.879 Cleveland and the Knicks were destroying, well, Cleveland gave us 277 00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:52.360 a little bit of a fight for a while, but 278 00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:56.799 Travis stood up and sucked the whole beer caned down 279 00:16:56.879 --> 00:16:59.759 standing up for the crowd. It didn't work. It didn't work. 280 00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:03.279 She looked embarrassed. The crowd didn't go. Banana is the 281 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:07.119 nixt one. It just didn't work. If you're not someone 282 00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:11.839 that goes there, you're not a Cleveland star. Yeah it 283 00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:14.279 might be your hometown, but you're a Kansas City star. 284 00:17:15.160 --> 00:17:17.519 It doesn't work if you're in Cleveland. It just doesn't. 285 00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:22.440 It didn't work, And once every couple of years this 286 00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:25.039 story floats around. I haven't really said much about this, 287 00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:28.319 but this is one of the first in my career 288 00:17:28.359 --> 00:17:29.960 that I can speak about. Oh. By the way, I'm 289 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:34.279 in touch with Michael lowid Is. We're gonna talk today Monday. 290 00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:37.559 As far as him coming on the show to reminisce 291 00:17:37.640 --> 00:17:42.799 and tell stories that I probably forgot or remember half 292 00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:46.039 of because Michael's got a steal trap memory as well. 293 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:49.920 So that'll be good. That'll be a good show. At 294 00:17:50.039 --> 00:17:51.880 least one or two shows with Michael. It might be 295 00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:54.160 long enough. We could split it to two or just 296 00:17:54.240 --> 00:17:56.240 let it go for as long as we want. But 297 00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:59.319 you'll finally see how funny this kid is and why 298 00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:03.200 I was ugh doubled over every day laughing with him. 299 00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:09.039 But once again, Ted Danson says he will apologize forever 300 00:18:09.160 --> 00:18:13.559 for that nineteen ninety three black face stunt when he 301 00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:17.640 was dating Whoopy Goldberg at the Friars Club roast in Manhattan, 302 00:18:18.839 --> 00:18:23.640 so huge story. He was on the w Camal Bells podcast. 303 00:18:23.720 --> 00:18:26.599 I don't like him. I hate his hair. He looks sloppy. 304 00:18:27.640 --> 00:18:31.160 Everything is anti white. I'm not a w you can 305 00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:34.640 be pro black, just don't make everything anti white. It 306 00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:39.559 gets so boring. And the hair the afro pushed forward. 307 00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:44.440 Come on, man doesn't look good. So look he's on 308 00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:47.319 the show and he's praising Whoopy Goldberg the way she 309 00:18:47.480 --> 00:18:52.000 handled the incident, and he's calling it an arrogant mistake 310 00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:54.039 on his part. But no, it really wasn't. It was 311 00:18:54.079 --> 00:18:59.119 something that Whoop bey wanted him to do. Poor Whoopy 312 00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:02.079 has to defend me over the years, sweetly and gracefully, 313 00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:04.480 so the last thing she probably wants to do is 314 00:19:04.519 --> 00:19:07.440 be put in this position again. But then he went 315 00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:12.599 ahead and said, because you know he's woke, I would 316 00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:16.119 like to address this and apologize forever. I know what 317 00:19:16.279 --> 00:19:18.480 was in my heart, so I have no problem talking 318 00:19:18.519 --> 00:19:21.200 about this, but I need to and want to apologize 319 00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:23.680 for the rest of my life because somebody today can 320 00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:25.680 go on the internet and look at me and say 321 00:19:25.720 --> 00:19:29.599 what the hell. Wow, I feel betrayed, I feel angry, 322 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:33.160 and I did that. Who gives a shit that was 323 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:37.640 acceptable comedy back then. Jimmy Kimble did blackface twenty years 324 00:19:37.640 --> 00:19:42.680 after you did on a show playing Karl Malone. Come on, 325 00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:48.319 Sarah Silgman did blackface. It's people. I'm not saying it's good, 326 00:19:49.240 --> 00:19:52.200 but it's still being done. Well, not now, but it 327 00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:54.720 was being done many years after he did. And it 328 00:19:54.759 --> 00:19:58.200 was Whippy's idea. I mean, Ted says he wanted to 329 00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:03.200 do something outlandish and outrageous for her birthday and between 330 00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:05.079 well not between you and me, but the word is 331 00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:09.480 their relationship was not working out as well as it 332 00:20:09.559 --> 00:20:12.279 had been, so he wanted to really go over the 333 00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:16.200 top with something. Now, there has never been a woman 334 00:20:16.839 --> 00:20:21.599 invited to a friar's roast a reporter, no reporter was 335 00:20:21.640 --> 00:20:24.759 ever invited, I shouldn't say a woman, no reporter period. 336 00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:27.839 And they let Linda. They invited Linda, and she took 337 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:30.839 me and I'd never been to a roast, never been 338 00:20:30.839 --> 00:20:34.240 to a fraud. They don't invite people friars to very 339 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:38.799 close society, and we happen to go to the roast 340 00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:41.839 that was going to be talked about all these years later. 341 00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:45.960 That's the luck that we had Linda is there. I 342 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:48.240 remember she was on a red sweater and a necklace 343 00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:50.759 hanging outside of her shirt. I remember what she was 344 00:20:50.759 --> 00:20:53.960 wearing because she was so she couldn't believe the Ted 345 00:20:54.039 --> 00:20:55.640 dance in that black face. She looked at me and 346 00:20:55.640 --> 00:20:58.759 her face was as red as his sweater. She goes, 347 00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:03.880 what the fuck are they doing? And Ted wanted to 348 00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:06.160 drop out, but the friest club said, we'll sue you. 349 00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:09.319 We sold too many tickets. You can't walk away now. 350 00:21:10.839 --> 00:21:13.079 So he figured the more over the top I go, 351 00:21:13.240 --> 00:21:17.759 the better. And he's thinking to himself, I'm with one 352 00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:21.119 of the most outrageous, funny black women in the world. 353 00:21:21.200 --> 00:21:24.400 Now she's just a flat out fucking nut, a lefty 354 00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:28.759 lunatic who think Trump, who thinks Trump is getting rid 355 00:21:28.839 --> 00:21:31.799 of women and throwing blacks out of the country. I mean, 356 00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:35.680 the things that people say are so outlandish. And Sonny 357 00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:39.960 hasted backs are up in the other hand, and at 358 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:43.200 whatever the fuck are I can't stand that show. And 359 00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:46.519 he's not a stand up comedian Ted dancing, He said, 360 00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:49.319 I can't run with the bulls. I'm an actor at best. 361 00:21:51.240 --> 00:21:54.519 So we looked at all those tapes and he said, well, 362 00:21:54.519 --> 00:21:57.880 if I were black, I could say all these outrageous things. 363 00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:02.839 I'm not. Then his mind said to himself, I'll do 364 00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:06.400 blackface and it'll be funny or not, but it will 365 00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:12.799 be like I have license. Now. Well, it didn't go 366 00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:18.279 over well within I don't know, but in the first 367 00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:22.279 two minutes you could tell people are very uncomfortable. And 368 00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:25.279 I'll tell you one specific line that did it, and 369 00:22:25.319 --> 00:22:32.279 it's a very filthy line. So get ready. Because he 370 00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:36.319 figured at this point no one believed that he and 371 00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:39.119 her would be in love. He just thought people had 372 00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:41.359 to be thinking, it's got to be a sex thing 373 00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:45.720 between these two. Could you imagine kissing that mouth? Could 374 00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:48.599 you imagine kissing that mouth with the purple gums and 375 00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:51.640 the Winston cigarette breath. I want to throw up now. 376 00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:54.599 Now I know, back of the day when she first 377 00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:57.640 started and she was young and vibrant and just like 378 00:22:57.920 --> 00:23:03.119 completely new on the scene, Tiffany Hattish had that same 379 00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:06.599 kind of vibe. What he was on welfare, single mother, 380 00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:09.839 gave himself a ro own abortion. Tiffany Hattish lived in 381 00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:18.960 a car outside NBC. Similar beginnings. But man, the way 382 00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:24.240 this thing took a nose dive. Like I've said, you 383 00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:27.000 could say anything at a roast. That's the way these 384 00:23:27.079 --> 00:23:30.640 roasts are run. But even though it was nineteen ninety three, 385 00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:37.480 the blackface didn't look good and he said something that 386 00:23:37.640 --> 00:23:41.240 was awful, and the tide turned. He said, my parents 387 00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:45.160 are concerned, and I'm sorry ahead of time, guys, my 388 00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:48.920 parents are concerned about me and what be My mother called. 389 00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:53.279 My father called. My mother said, Ted, what about your children? 390 00:23:54.279 --> 00:23:57.680 What will they look like? He said, Mom relaxed, I'm 391 00:23:57.720 --> 00:24:00.480 only fucking her in the ass. That was like the 392 00:24:00.519 --> 00:24:07.079 first joke. Okay, that's how crazy roast get. Linda was 393 00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:11.720 so happy we were there because no one else had 394 00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:16.759 that story except for our column. But yeah, bad idea. 395 00:24:16.839 --> 00:24:19.839 But stop apologizing over things that he did. How many 396 00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:27.599 years ago? Thirty three years ago? It's over. Later on 397 00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:30.640 in life, he marries Mary Steinberg version and she's like, 398 00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:34.759 I can't understand why he would do that, because they 399 00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:37.440 showed clips of him during the Black Lives Matter movement 400 00:24:38.400 --> 00:24:41.119 and he got dropped. He got dropped from some corporate gigs. 401 00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:43.519