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Speaker 1: Retirement. I talk all day long about how to make

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your retirement remarkable, but in reality.

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Speaker 2: Retirement is kind of sold to us like a dream.

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Speaker 1: You know. We see the commercials.

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Speaker 2: They show white sand beaches, golf courses, wine on patios

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at sunset, no worries at all, And retirement absolutely can

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be remarkable. But some of what we're told wasn't entirely true.

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So today I am sharing with you thirteen lies. I'm

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going to say that we were told about retirement not

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to scare you, not to complain, but to prepare you,

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because retirement isn't worse than we're told.

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Speaker 1: It's just a whole heck of a lot more complex

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than we're told. I'm worrying Debranski. This is Life Starts

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at Retirement. I produce a retirement lifestyle video once a week,

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and please consider joining our Facebook group Facebook dot com

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slash group slash Life Starts at Retirement. We have thirty

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five thousand active, wonderful members, so in no particular order,

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thirteen of them. Number one lie. Number one, you'll finally

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be happy. Well, retirement doesn't necessarily fix unhappiness. If you

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were restless before, chances are you'll be restless. After If

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you were fulfilled before, chances are you're likely to be

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a bit more fulfilled here. Retirement really magnifies who you

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already are. It doesn't reinvent yourself. But let me clarify,

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it doesn't reinvent yourself without effort. Retire you absolutely can

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and should not. Should can, and if you want to

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reinvent yourself, it's the perfect time to do that. But

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that takes work, work, and intentional thoughts and intentional action.

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So retirement doesn't fix unhappiness. You have to work at

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it to change it. Lie Number two, you won't be

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busy anymore. Now, It's true that you may not be,

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but many, many, many, many many retirees are busy. We

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have grandkids, we have parents, we have appointments, we have

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home maintenance. We want to travel, we want a golf

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we want to read books, we want to join clubs,

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we want to garden, all the things that we didn't

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get a chance to do before retirement. So busy just

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looks different. Yeah, we're not having those meetings that we

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used to have, we're not building those spreadsheets or what

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training whatever it might have looked like. Busy is just different.

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But if you're not busy on your board. You have

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to figure that out. Once again, it's all about you

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building your retirement intentionally. So sometimes your working years are

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just as full or you're sorry not working years, or

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just as full as your working years, but they're just unpaid.

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Darn it. Lie Number three, you'll sleep in every single day,

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and yes, I'm people do. My mom's so good at this.

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She sleeps in and she's a good sleeper. Not me.

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Many of us, especially at the beginning, We wake up

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at the same time out of habit, and then sleep

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changes with age because our body clock doesn't really know

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that we've retired, so it doesn't automatically mean you'll sleep in,

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So you have to figure out what works for you.

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When I first retired, I wanted to sleep in, and

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I think I did a little bit more than I

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do now. But now we get up early. We and

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have our coffee, I have my diet coke. We enjoy

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our mornings, but we're up at between six thirty and

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seven typically every day. Never thought i'd say that when

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I didn't have to be but we're in bed a

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little bit earlier. So the lie is that you'll sleep

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in every single day. If that's you enjoy it. If

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that's not you enjoy it. Lie number four, You won't

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feel stress anymore. What a joke. Work stress may go away,

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but it gets replaced or it gets added on to.

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There's the market stress, there's health stress, there's family stress,

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there's caregiving stress, there's marriage stress. Because you're now in

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the same house to twenty four hours a day, seventies

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a week, stress doesn't disappear, it just kind of shifts.

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And so that's a big lie. It's like retirement is

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one big happy thing. It can be, but life is complex.

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You have to make it intentional. Maybe that's what I

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should have called this video, is you need to make

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your retirement intentional. Okay? Lie number five. Once you retire,

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you've arrived. You're told that retirement is the finish line.

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But it's not, and nor should it be. The finish

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line seems to me like the end. I don't want

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this to be the end of my life. It's a transition.

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It's a new chapter, and chapters require growth. Retirement isn't

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the end of your life. It's the beginning of redefining

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and making your life remarkable. Lie number six. You'll travel

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all the time. Well, travel is wonderful, but it's tiring too.

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And we travel a lot. If you've watched my tunnel,

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you'll know I'm a guest lecturer on cruise ships, so

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we do travel a lot. But airports are crowded, flights

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get delayed, your body recovers slower. The more you get old,

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the more difficult that that travel is. So sometimes just

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being at home feels as good as any destination out there.

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So once again, travel should be intentional, not constant, not

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something you have to do if you want to, Yes,

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but intentional. Line number seven. Retirement makes your marriage a

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little bit easier. Holy cow. More time together doesn't automatically

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mean easier. It means adjustment, different routines, different priorities, different

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energy levels. Retirement can really strengthen the marriage, but it

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can also stretch it because now you're face to face

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with the habits you never really noticed before. One quick

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story when Ken first retired, I came home one day.

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I don't know where I was. I was somewhere and

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I came home. I went to get a glass water,

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opened up the cupboard and the glasses were moved. I

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lost it. I said, what the heck are you doing?

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And he goes, well, I thought they'd be better off

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over there, closer to the thing, because I don't care

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what you think. The glasses have been in this cabinet

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for the last thirty five years, and they've been just

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fine for the last thirty five years. Leave my house alone.

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Speaker 2: If you want to rearrange something, go out to your garage.

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Speaker 1: But just so, we've evolved since then. We have more

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talks rather than be yelling at him. But the different priorities,

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different things. He needed something to do, so he thought

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he'd move the glasses. Okay, lie number eight, you'll feel

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young and you'll feel free. Well, yes, but yes and no.

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For me, I definitely feel free. I feel free. I

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can pick and choose what I want to do. I

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feel free freedom, But I'm also aware I'm aging that young.

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Part of young and free changes. My energy shifts, my

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strength shifts, my recovery shifts. So retirement is mixed. And

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the more the older you get, the more I think

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mixed it becomes. So it's mixed with some freedom, with freedom, absolutely,

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but it's also you have to be real. You absolutely

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have to be real. They both can exist together, the

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freedom and the energy, the freedom and the youth or

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but I'll say energy. But you just need to be real.

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Lie number nine, don't worry about it. You'll know exactly

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what to do with your time. Well, at first, for

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most of us, it feels like a vacation.

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Speaker 2: Woo, I'm on vacation.

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Speaker 1: I can sleep in, I can do whatever I want.

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But after most people a month, two months for sure,

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by the third or fourth month, it feels different. A

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lot of people have used the term blank, boring, and

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settling because no one gives you a schedule. You can

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do whatever you want. But that sounds great in theory,

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but when you have nothing to do, it really can

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be boring. And this is where you need to build

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in your own life again. Once again, that word intention intentional,

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You need to build it back into your life. Lie

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number ten. This one I'm getting pretty good on you

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won't care what people think. The older you get, the

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more you don't care. And it's true, but a lot

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of us still spend more time thinking about what other

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people think about you, or caring what other people think

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about we about you. Are we spending too much money?

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Do we travel too much? Are we helping enough? Are

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my clothes do they make me look too young with

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this kind of a jean jacket. A lot of times

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we do worry. People had said, oh, once you retire,

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you won't give care at all. Well, that's a great

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goal to work towards, but it's something that we have

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to choose that intention. That word's coming up a lot

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line number eleven, and this is it can be true,

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but again it's with intention. But the lie is you'll

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spend less money. Well sometimes yes, sometimes no travel costs money,

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hobbies cost money, Helping family cost money, health costs money.

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So the retirement isn't necessarily that or the lie no

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retirement isn't necessarily that spending you'll spend less, but it's

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with intention. Spend the money that you have with intention,

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because you're spending will shift, but spending doesn't disappear when

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you retire. Lie number twelve. This one's big for me

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right now. Your friendships will stay the same. That's a lie,

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and it's not necessarily bad because retirement really just changes

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your social circles. So a lot of my friends that

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I had seen daily, they kept working. In fact, some

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of them are still working, and so I don't see them.

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I talk to them on Facebook maybe or you know

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something happens, they have a birthday, et cetera. But some

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people you know that that was a big one. Sadly,

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I've had a few people that have passed away out

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of my life. But once again, friendship requires intention. In retirement,

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same thing. We came to a different city. We're in Arizona,

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a different country, a different city. I didn't automatically have

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friends here. You have to have that intention to go

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make your friends. So the friendship doesn't stay the same,

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it changes. That requires intention in retirement. It doesn't run

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on autopilot anymore. Line number thirteen, Retirement is pure freedom,

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and that's a big one. Retirement is freedom, but it

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also is responsibility. I did a video recently on that

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responsibility that you have and things the Sandwich generation of

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how you have I have, at least in my life.

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I have my grandkids, six of them. I have my kids,

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my husband, my mom. So although I have freedom from work,

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I still have responsibility to my family, to myself, to

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my relationships, to what I want to have accomplished still

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in my life. So freedom, I think freedom without structure

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or some structure. You don't have to have every minute

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of everyday plan, but freedom without some structure turns into drift.

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But freedom with intention turns into fulfillment. So that's the difference.

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So retirement itself isn't really just a lie. It's not

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just the fairy tale version that we were sold either,

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though it's deeper, it's more layered, it's more meaningful, and honestly,

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I think that's what makes it more powerful, more exciting,

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more fun, more remarkable. That's my word, remarkable, because retirement

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isn't about escaping life, it's about designing it. Now, I'd

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love to know what do these surprised you the most,

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or do you have another lie that you think you

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were sold that you want to let us know about.

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Let's talk in the comments. I'm Maureen Daranski. This is

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Life Starts at Retirement. I produce a retirement lifestyle video

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once a week and again, please consider joining our Facebook group,

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Facebook dot com slash groups slash Life Starts at Retirement.

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See you in the next one. After a would become

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as in