Speaker 1: Retirement. I talk all day long about how to make
your retirement remarkable, but in reality.
Speaker 2: Retirement is kind of sold to us like a dream.
Speaker 1: You know. We see the commercials.
Speaker 2: They show white sand beaches, golf courses, wine on patios
at sunset, no worries at all, And retirement absolutely can
be remarkable. But some of what we're told wasn't entirely true.
So today I am sharing with you thirteen lies. I'm
going to say that we were told about retirement not
to scare you, not to complain, but to prepare you,
because retirement isn't worse than we're told.
Speaker 1: It's just a whole heck of a lot more complex
than we're told. I'm worrying Debranski. This is Life Starts
at Retirement. I produce a retirement lifestyle video once a week,
and please consider joining our Facebook group Facebook dot com
slash group slash Life Starts at Retirement. We have thirty
five thousand active, wonderful members, so in no particular order,
thirteen of them. Number one lie. Number one, you'll finally
be happy. Well, retirement doesn't necessarily fix unhappiness. If you
were restless before, chances are you'll be restless. After If
you were fulfilled before, chances are you're likely to be
a bit more fulfilled here. Retirement really magnifies who you
already are. It doesn't reinvent yourself. But let me clarify,
it doesn't reinvent yourself without effort. Retire you absolutely can
and should not. Should can, and if you want to
reinvent yourself, it's the perfect time to do that. But
that takes work, work, and intentional thoughts and intentional action.
So retirement doesn't fix unhappiness. You have to work at
it to change it. Lie Number two, you won't be
busy anymore. Now, It's true that you may not be,
but many, many, many, many many retirees are busy. We
have grandkids, we have parents, we have appointments, we have
home maintenance. We want to travel, we want a golf
we want to read books, we want to join clubs,
we want to garden, all the things that we didn't
get a chance to do before retirement. So busy just
looks different. Yeah, we're not having those meetings that we
used to have, we're not building those spreadsheets or what
training whatever it might have looked like. Busy is just different.
But if you're not busy on your board. You have
to figure that out. Once again, it's all about you
building your retirement intentionally. So sometimes your working years are
just as full or you're sorry not working years, or
just as full as your working years, but they're just unpaid.
Darn it. Lie Number three, you'll sleep in every single day,
and yes, I'm people do. My mom's so good at this.
She sleeps in and she's a good sleeper. Not me.
Many of us, especially at the beginning, We wake up
at the same time out of habit, and then sleep
changes with age because our body clock doesn't really know
that we've retired, so it doesn't automatically mean you'll sleep in,
So you have to figure out what works for you.
When I first retired, I wanted to sleep in, and
I think I did a little bit more than I
do now. But now we get up early. We and
have our coffee, I have my diet coke. We enjoy
our mornings, but we're up at between six thirty and
seven typically every day. Never thought i'd say that when
I didn't have to be but we're in bed a
little bit earlier. So the lie is that you'll sleep
in every single day. If that's you enjoy it. If
that's not you enjoy it. Lie number four, You won't
feel stress anymore. What a joke. Work stress may go away,
but it gets replaced or it gets added on to.
There's the market stress, there's health stress, there's family stress,
there's caregiving stress, there's marriage stress. Because you're now in
the same house to twenty four hours a day, seventies
a week, stress doesn't disappear, it just kind of shifts.
And so that's a big lie. It's like retirement is
one big happy thing. It can be, but life is complex.
You have to make it intentional. Maybe that's what I
should have called this video, is you need to make
your retirement intentional. Okay? Lie number five. Once you retire,
you've arrived. You're told that retirement is the finish line.
But it's not, and nor should it be. The finish
line seems to me like the end. I don't want
this to be the end of my life. It's a transition.
It's a new chapter, and chapters require growth. Retirement isn't
the end of your life. It's the beginning of redefining
and making your life remarkable. Lie number six. You'll travel
all the time. Well, travel is wonderful, but it's tiring too.
And we travel a lot. If you've watched my tunnel,
you'll know I'm a guest lecturer on cruise ships, so
we do travel a lot. But airports are crowded, flights
get delayed, your body recovers slower. The more you get old,
the more difficult that that travel is. So sometimes just
being at home feels as good as any destination out there.
So once again, travel should be intentional, not constant, not
something you have to do if you want to, Yes,
but intentional. Line number seven. Retirement makes your marriage a
little bit easier. Holy cow. More time together doesn't automatically
mean easier. It means adjustment, different routines, different priorities, different
energy levels. Retirement can really strengthen the marriage, but it
can also stretch it because now you're face to face
with the habits you never really noticed before. One quick
story when Ken first retired, I came home one day.
I don't know where I was. I was somewhere and
I came home. I went to get a glass water,
opened up the cupboard and the glasses were moved. I
lost it. I said, what the heck are you doing?
And he goes, well, I thought they'd be better off
over there, closer to the thing, because I don't care
what you think. The glasses have been in this cabinet
for the last thirty five years, and they've been just
fine for the last thirty five years. Leave my house alone.
Speaker 2: If you want to rearrange something, go out to your garage.
Speaker 1: But just so, we've evolved since then. We have more
talks rather than be yelling at him. But the different priorities,
different things. He needed something to do, so he thought
he'd move the glasses. Okay, lie number eight, you'll feel
young and you'll feel free. Well, yes, but yes and no.
For me, I definitely feel free. I feel free. I
can pick and choose what I want to do. I
feel free freedom, But I'm also aware I'm aging that young.
Part of young and free changes. My energy shifts, my
strength shifts, my recovery shifts. So retirement is mixed. And
the more the older you get, the more I think
mixed it becomes. So it's mixed with some freedom, with freedom, absolutely,
but it's also you have to be real. You absolutely
have to be real. They both can exist together, the
freedom and the energy, the freedom and the youth or
but I'll say energy. But you just need to be real.
Lie number nine, don't worry about it. You'll know exactly
what to do with your time. Well, at first, for
most of us, it feels like a vacation.
Speaker 2: Woo, I'm on vacation.
Speaker 1: I can sleep in, I can do whatever I want.
But after most people a month, two months for sure,
by the third or fourth month, it feels different. A
lot of people have used the term blank, boring, and
settling because no one gives you a schedule. You can
do whatever you want. But that sounds great in theory,
but when you have nothing to do, it really can
be boring. And this is where you need to build
in your own life again. Once again, that word intention intentional,
You need to build it back into your life. Lie
number ten. This one I'm getting pretty good on you
won't care what people think. The older you get, the
more you don't care. And it's true, but a lot
of us still spend more time thinking about what other
people think about you, or caring what other people think
about we about you. Are we spending too much money?
Do we travel too much? Are we helping enough? Are
my clothes do they make me look too young with
this kind of a jean jacket. A lot of times
we do worry. People had said, oh, once you retire,
you won't give care at all. Well, that's a great
goal to work towards, but it's something that we have
to choose that intention. That word's coming up a lot
line number eleven, and this is it can be true,
but again it's with intention. But the lie is you'll
spend less money. Well sometimes yes, sometimes no travel costs money,
hobbies cost money, Helping family cost money, health costs money.
So the retirement isn't necessarily that or the lie no
retirement isn't necessarily that spending you'll spend less, but it's
with intention. Spend the money that you have with intention,
because you're spending will shift, but spending doesn't disappear when
you retire. Lie number twelve. This one's big for me
right now. Your friendships will stay the same. That's a lie,
and it's not necessarily bad because retirement really just changes
your social circles. So a lot of my friends that
I had seen daily, they kept working. In fact, some
of them are still working, and so I don't see them.
I talk to them on Facebook maybe or you know
something happens, they have a birthday, et cetera. But some
people you know that that was a big one. Sadly,
I've had a few people that have passed away out
of my life. But once again, friendship requires intention. In retirement,
same thing. We came to a different city. We're in Arizona,
a different country, a different city. I didn't automatically have
friends here. You have to have that intention to go
make your friends. So the friendship doesn't stay the same,
it changes. That requires intention in retirement. It doesn't run
on autopilot anymore. Line number thirteen, Retirement is pure freedom,
and that's a big one. Retirement is freedom, but it
also is responsibility. I did a video recently on that
responsibility that you have and things the Sandwich generation of
how you have I have, at least in my life.
I have my grandkids, six of them. I have my kids,
my husband, my mom. So although I have freedom from work,
I still have responsibility to my family, to myself, to
my relationships, to what I want to have accomplished still
in my life. So freedom, I think freedom without structure
or some structure. You don't have to have every minute
of everyday plan, but freedom without some structure turns into drift.
But freedom with intention turns into fulfillment. So that's the difference.
So retirement itself isn't really just a lie. It's not
just the fairy tale version that we were sold either,
though it's deeper, it's more layered, it's more meaningful, and honestly,
I think that's what makes it more powerful, more exciting,
more fun, more remarkable. That's my word, remarkable, because retirement
isn't about escaping life, it's about designing it. Now, I'd
love to know what do these surprised you the most,
or do you have another lie that you think you
were sold that you want to let us know about.
Let's talk in the comments. I'm Maureen Daranski. This is
Life Starts at Retirement. I produce a retirement lifestyle video
once a week and again, please consider joining our Facebook group,
Facebook dot com slash groups slash Life Starts at Retirement.
See you in the next one. After a would become
as in