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Speaker 1: The best way to support this podcast is to go

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to patreon dot com slash Softcore History, where you get

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two additional episodes every week, including a three year evergreen

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back catalog of ad free content. On this week's episode,

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we're talking about a man who is perhaps the most

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disease riddled pope in history, well, self inflicted.

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Speaker 2: Disease, potentially, This pope, like the fuck he did? This

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guy banged more than any pope in the history of pope,

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and I'm beyond certain of it.

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Speaker 1: So let's just get into it. This week we're talking

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about Benedict the Ninth.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Softcore History.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to softcore History, ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 2: It's been a long time. No it hasn't. I don't

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know how to podcast, and now it hasn't for the audience,

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but for us, it's been weeks.

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Speaker 1: We haven't missed, we haven't, but I haven't been in

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the studio in at least two weeks.

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Speaker 2: I'm fucking cold. This is like the uh, this is

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like having a bye in the MLB playoffs, right, ice

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cold bats have gone cold?

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Speaker 1: Maybe the college football playoffs.

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Speaker 2: Maybe the college football playoff too. Yeah, just ice fucking cold.

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So well, this is gonna be a horrible show.

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Speaker 1: It could be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is gonna be just a mess. And Dan

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came in and was like, we're gonna have to do

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a lot of Gabin today. I didn't write a lot.

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Speaker 1: I just drove thirty hours from Pennsylvania to avoid a

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winter store. Yeah, I had to leave early. It's all good.

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I feel excited for this year. I feel excited for

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where this show's going, the direction.

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Speaker 2: This is gonna be the year of softmore history. Now,

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we were wrong about that in twenty three and twenty four, but.

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Speaker 1: Third times a charm, surely we can't be wrong again.

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Speaker 2: We had no illusions in twenty two, no head score

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twenty two.

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Speaker 1: We accepted our fate.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, head score on our shoulders in twenty two and

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twenty one, and.

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Speaker 1: We blamed Jake for twenty two.

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Speaker 2: I Jake was behind the scenes. The vibe with Jake

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was really bad. Yeah, Jake, if you're listening.

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Speaker 1: We haven't really talked about that publicly, but he was

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kind of a diva. Oh boy came in demanded that

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we had like charcuterie boards every podcast.

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Speaker 2: Always with the charcuterie boards, and then he'd make us

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try his sour dough, and we like, try it with

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the jam I made you buy and the and the

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and I was like with the salami. He's like, no,

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not the salami, the fucking pershudo with jam, with peach

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jam you want to put for thealami. I mean, it was.

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Speaker 1: Just it's a salty, sweet thing that he really pushed.

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Speaker 2: Over the top. And then when the oyster things started,

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the oyster every week every week, I actually had vibrio.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, for a.

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Speaker 1: While, I got mercury poison and actually, yeah, he was just.

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Speaker 2: At one point he pinned me down and just started

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funneling oysters into.

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Speaker 1: My mouth shell. Included it was bad.

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Speaker 2: That's the worst, worst BM in my life. Yeah, so

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it was a reef in my toilet.

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Speaker 1: You know, we don't want to rehab any issues we've

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had with Jake. We're on to bigger and better things,

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Me and Rob Fox. Twenty twenty five, it's gonna be

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our year.

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Speaker 2: Hell yeah. And also this is evergreen, so maybe it's

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twenty twenty seven.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you're listening to this in two or

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three years, just no, we made it big. This was

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the year, or we're dead. There's no in between.

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Speaker 2: It really isn't.

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Speaker 1: But with that said, I think with the new year,

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we kind of need to go back to our foundation.

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You got a weirdo for me today, We need to

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go back to our basics. Yes, the weirdos, all right,

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that's what this podcast was built on, and also us

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just talking about and kind of riding for the Pope.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I was gonna that was the other thing I

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was gonna say it was Catholicism weirdos, And this episode

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combines both. Oh that's the two of our strongest pillars, weirdos.

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Catholicism used to be Judaism. Now I feel a little

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bad doing Jewish stuff because our blanket is not here. Like, no,

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it's cool the one Jew's laughing at it. It's like

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if a podcast makes really fucking racist jokes but there's

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one black guy on it who thinks it's just a

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point to him. Yeah, then it doesn't matter if it's

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actually like a horrible thing. Now one black guy's laughing.

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Speaker 1: So the Portuguese Jew inside of me, yeah, isn't enough.

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Speaker 2: Oh not enough. It's not enough.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like Elizabeth Warren saying she's Native American.

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Speaker 2: Right, yeah, you just you basically just like it's an

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old family story that you're one percent Portuguese Jewish.

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Speaker 1: Although with the beard in the hair now, I do

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definitely appear more Portuguese.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not more Jewish.

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Speaker 1: Jewish are harry people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that's true.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it just working the docks. But it's bad.

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Speaker 2: It's bad body hair.

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Speaker 1: It's you've good navigating the seas.

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Speaker 2: It's a good body you, don't you you have good

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body hair. I've seen bad Jewish body hair.

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Speaker 1: I'm starting to get some hair on my back now,

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and it's concerning.

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Speaker 2: See, that's the one good thing. Like my metabolism has

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left me at this point, so the one good thing

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I still have going for me is that I'm relatively hairless.

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Speaker 1: That's not a good thing.

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Speaker 2: Chesting back no hair.

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Speaker 1: You should get jacked then and just start oiling up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know I should. Twenty competing, it's the year

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of me getting jacked.

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Speaker 1: I actually haven't lifted that much in the last.

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Speaker 2: Couple of weeks, I'm sure, your twink.

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Speaker 1: No, I know I am. I've actually lost weight. I'm

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like down with the two twenty now, O twink here sad.

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Although everyone was saying I was getting fat.

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Speaker 2: You probably were over the break. Oh you mean like,

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oh on this show. On the show, people look at you. Well,

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the camera doesn't do you justice.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't. I should pop top more often. You should

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pop top more often for my birthday this May.

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Speaker 2: That's all I'm gonna say. Whenever anyone talks about gains

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on any show that I'm on this or producing, it's

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just like pop top, shut up and pop top.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, pop top.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to hear it. I want to see it. Pop.

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Speaker 1: If you're bragging about your gains and kind of your

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lifting regiment and your diet, you typically don't lift because

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if you do lift, you have body dysmorphia.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got on so many times.

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Speaker 1: My dysmorphia is what fuels that's a true meat head.

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Nobody's ever satisfied with their body. If they actually lift.

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Speaker 2: You are forever small, So I don't lift them satisfies

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my body.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it surprises me all the time. You're just

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taking photos with your wife and your kids at the beach.

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I'm like, what the fuck rob lifting kids? You're lifting kids?

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I lift you probably only you're probably eating like a

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thousand calories a day.

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Speaker 2: I really only eat like fifteen hundred calories a day.

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Speaker 1: That's insane.

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Speaker 2: Well, then I slap on another thousand from alcohol.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, you can do that though, yeah yeah, yeah,

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right right, You're like, oh, I drink all the time

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every day, but I'm hitting my macros.

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Speaker 2: I really like, seriously, I don't. I don't eat. I

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try to eat minimally because I know that I don't

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move a lot necessarily.

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Speaker 1: You know what I've realized over the break, alcohol free beer.

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It's really in. I've been seeing nothing but ads for

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like all these.

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Speaker 2: Athletic dude alcohol free beers, and I understand. So here's

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the thing too, that's fucked up. They're good dupes. Because

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I was at a Christmas party overbreak and all that

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was in the cooler was bud Light Miller Light. And

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then I was like, I don't know if I want

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want one of these, so I I but I found

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an IPA and I was like, all right, I'll do

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this ipa and I drank it and I was like, fuck,

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this is clean, this is fucking good. This is like water,

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a bright crisp by pa. And then I look at

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the can after I finish it and said, forty five calories.

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I was like, how fuck is that possible?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And then I was like and then I saw the

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non alcoholic and I was like, oh god, damn it.

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Speaker 1: You want to crush twelve of those before you work out?

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Speaker 2: Car belowed. You know that, that's what the German Olympians do.

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They drink that to recover. They drink non alcoholic beer. Okay,

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that's a that's a true thing. I don't know what

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kind of not alcohol but anyway, it was good though,

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Like it was, I'm not gonna drink them regularly, but

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it did taste good.

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Speaker 1: Back to what today's episode's about though, it's a demon

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from hell disguised as a priest sitting on the chair

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of Saint Peter. This is how many of his peers

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described him.

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Speaker 2: Same Pope Francis, it's not. I think that's how many

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Catholics currently describe the Pope.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I think that was a big thing when he

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was elected. Which, by the way, loyalty is it because

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he's a Jesuit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. The Jesuits are have always been kind of annoying

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because they're chill. Yeah, they're they're like the Lib Catholics

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and the lib the hippie Catholics keep in mind liberal

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Catholic is still birth control is bad the only condom.

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Do not get AIDS and uh, get people to go

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to hell.

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Speaker 1: But be nice.

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Speaker 2: Don't throw rocks at them. Don't throw a rock at

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the homosexual.

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Speaker 1: He's the cool pope. Here's a bouncer. Yeah, and he

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likes big booty hose on Instagram.

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Speaker 2: It's so funny.

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Speaker 1: I remember it so like when I did.

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Speaker 2: He still, by the way, hates girls.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. There was like girl that would always hit me

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up and then she like to be posted on the

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site and on the Instagram. Yeah, and then one day

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the pope liked her Instagram like a big booty ho

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byon effects.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So, I mean, shouts to her, shouts to the pope.

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But today we're actually going to talk about a pope

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that wasn't as cool, Okay, I mean, in fact, we're

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talking about the young pope. Oh, the youngest.

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Speaker 2: There were some young popes.

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Speaker 1: This was the youngest pope okay on record. Hell yeah,

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let's go.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 1: Theo Phylactus was born in the outskirts of the city

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of Rome in ten twelve, the son of a wealthy

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count and the nephew of two previous popes.

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Speaker 2: What was the You probably don't know this because I

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don't know off the top of my head, but like,

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wasn't there was like a like the popes were like

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only Italian for like a millennia or something like that.

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Speaker 1: I think it was his family. Okay, so I think

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maybe not a millennia, but it was like a couple.

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Speaker 2: Decades centuries where before there was no Italian pope. And

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then I think Pope Francis is the first non European pope.

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Speaker 1: He's the first South American pope.

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Speaker 2: He's definitely the first Western hemisphere pope. I think he's

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the first. Well where else would they be from? There's

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never a Chinese pope.

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Speaker 1: You can fucking have a Canadian pope.

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Speaker 3: Fu fuck that.

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Speaker 1: We do need an American pope, Yes, I agree, they'll

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never do. Just a guy from Boston, Boston pope.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Hey, uh, this Ukraine was wicked bad. We need

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peace in this uh, in the world.

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Speaker 1: Take the body of Christ, put it in your mouth.

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Speaker 2: A Boston accent of the fucking the Throne of Saint

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Peter would be so great.

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Speaker 1: He just sounds like JFK.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I uh, I don't know. I wish I could

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do a better JFK.

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Speaker 1: Only it seems like an easy accent for you to do.

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You're really good at accents, and you're you're tripping up

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with JFK.

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Speaker 3: I do not.

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, have faith in yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, may I'll try it something just like Boston Pope.

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I got another Jimmy Stewart's sketch coming up. I'm gonna

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finish right in it. Two rb out on the Patreon

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this month. Trying to do a sketch a month this year.

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But yeah, yeah, well we'll see if I can maybe

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work on my JFK and get a JFK sketch in

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there at some point.

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Speaker 1: Just say the word tabernacle and the JFK accent I tabernacle, tabernacle,

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get the host from the tabernacle. What was your role

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as an altar boy? Did you ring the bells?

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Speaker 2: Everything?

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Speaker 1: Have everything, held the incense, all of it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, do the incense. I mean that's not every time though,

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that's just it's funerals. Yeah, bigger masses, incense, cross torch, bells,

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lighting the candles, holding the book for the fucking priest read,

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oh yeah everything.

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Speaker 1: How liberal were you with the bells? Did you go along?

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Did you make the priests work for it.

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Speaker 2: You know, sometimes I felt spicy, you know what I do,

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because he has to wait for you to stop.

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Speaker 1: So if you you can kind of hold up masks,

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I can, or you can go really short just dingding

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like work for a bro.

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Speaker 2: Usually my knees were killing me by that point. Take

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that however you want. Uh So, because you're kneeling at

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least our church. You're kneeling when you did the bells.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would always kind of sit back though I kneeled.

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Oh so had my ass yeah yeah, yeah, no, No,

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I just had my ass on something.

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Speaker 2: Okay, if you see weak ass all now when I

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see ultimoys, they're not kneeling as much.

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Speaker 1: Anyth was a fat child. I didn't have a strong core.

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Speaker 2: That's a skinny child. So I had trouble holding the

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book Like the book was like half my weight.

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Speaker 3: I was just like.

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Speaker 2: If it was an old guy who couldn't fucking read God,

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it was hell.

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Speaker 1: So THEO Philactus. His two uncles were Benedict the eighth

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and John the nineteenth.

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Speaker 2: Family business.

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Speaker 1: Due to nepotism and bribery running rampant in the Papal

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state back then, THEO became the youngest pope ever in

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ten thirty two at the age of twenty. Good lord,

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some records say he was as young as twelve. That

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is bullshit. He was born in ten twelve, do math.

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Speaker 2: Well, they it was twenty, okay, but they were just

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saying some people claiming that they fudge the records.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, man, there's like a monk that's trying

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to claim he was younger than he was. He was

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not twelve, he was twenty.

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Speaker 2: But that was that monk trying to gast him up

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like he was so holy. He became pope at twelve

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the same way. The funniest thing.

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Speaker 1: So nobody ever rides for this man. So this is

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Benedict the ninth.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So there's you know, you know the story about

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how Mohammed like married and obviously fucked like a nine

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year old or something like that.

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Speaker 1: Apparently that's supposed to show that he's so holy that

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he protected his child wife and did not you know,

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enter her until she was like twelve.

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Speaker 2: They like kept lowering the age to make him sound holier.

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Like it's bullsh He didn't she was not that young

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according to all available scholarly things or whatever. But it

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was supposed to show that he was taking care of

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They're like, yeah, look, how holy is he married a

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nine year old? And they're like, I heard he was eight.

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She was eight. Maybe it's like, oh maybe, I don't know.

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It's pretty oly, pretty only guy. But so like when

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people don Khan Muhammed for being like a perv or whatever,

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just know that that particular thing is completely fabricated by

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people after his death to make him sound better somehow.

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Speaker 1: You know, they didn't have the scope of current day.

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I can't realize how it was gonna be standards on

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to them. No. Also, great General Napoleon's favorite Napoleon saiit general.

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Like any twenty something whose dad buys him an election

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for a papal seat, he takes the position he is

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totally unqualified for and uses his power for good. Oh

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all right, ah no, oh yeah absolutely not. No. By that,

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I mean he spends his entire first rain, yes, first rain,

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because he actually had three okay, count actually you know,

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like three and a half.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, so did the end with the half the

328
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last one?

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Speaker 1: No, okay, the half is kind of like in the

330
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first ragin Okay, and we'll get to that. But he

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spends his entire first reign fucking male prostitutes, hosting orgies

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with men and animals, and turning the Vatican into a

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male brothel.

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Speaker 2: Uh now, is this like propaganda? No?

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Speaker 1: He is often credited as the first openly gay pope.

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Look at that, yes, queen, Yes.

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Speaker 2: I mean could do that. The orgies?

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Speaker 1: How about the beast reality that too?

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Speaker 2: I was getting to it. Uh maybe just you know,

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settled down with a nice man and.

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Speaker 1: Call it a day, just one at a time. But

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you know what that's now, bring in the pharmat.

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Speaker 2: There's this great I don't know what his name, but

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I get served you shit on TikTok a lot. It's

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this fat gay comedian. He's kind of older. He's like

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in his forties or fifties, even early fifties, late forties.

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I think he used to write for like punk or

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something like. He's been in La forever. But he had

349
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a good bit that was like gay people aren't good

350
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at writing, Like gay people are good at writing about

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love and stuff like that, but not about other gay

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men because they can't be honest about what being modern

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gay is.

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Speaker 1: Like.

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Speaker 2: He was like basically just know this for two weeks

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out of a year, your hairdresser goes to Miami and

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is a trash can, a cum dumpster.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, there're still men right, that's and when

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you take women out of the equation, it's male on

360
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mail just aggression and we're nothing. Stop, it's just sex.

361
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Drive off the chart.

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Speaker 2: Every time I hear about like fucked up gay shit

363
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like that, like like gay orgies are like they're like

364
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meth fueled orgies. I think they call it like they

365
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call meth like tina or something like that, and uh.

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Speaker 1: And like do you but also there are consequences of

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that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but that is how diseases. Supers don't think about that,

369
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,600
you know what I mean? You get you get handed

370
00:16:58,639 --> 00:17:00,960
coke at a club by somehow, and you're gonna fucking

371
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do it doesn't matter if for twenty of your buddies,

372
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you know, odd on fentanyl in the last year, you're

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gonna be like.

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Speaker 1: What do they typically what was it called?

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Speaker 3: Prep?

376
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,880
Speaker 2: Prep? Is gay birth control? Yeah, it's the stuff that

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stops you from getting AIDS.

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Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, you birth the HIV another life form start

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to living in your body and tears you apart from

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the inside.

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Speaker 2: But I mean that's right, like gay guys and I

382
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guess girl and girls I just can't get pregnant, right, So,

383
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,599
but women don't really get Lesbians don't really give each

384
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other aids.

385
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Speaker 1: Yeah, don't lesbians even get disease?

386
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Speaker 2: I mean they can rub herpes on each other and stuff.

387
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Speaker 1: But yeah, I guess that's like an outer issue.

388
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Speaker 2: But you really need like for AIDS, you need to

389
00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:45,279
be like penetrated by flesh or you just have a

390
00:17:45,319 --> 00:17:49,640
dial to or a bleeding finger. Yeah, yeah, dildo fold.

391
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,279
I mean you get chlamydia just with fluid, But AIDS

392
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is hard to get without getting blasted inside of or

393
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I guess a dirty needle inside of.

394
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Speaker 1: You or if you fuck at Kowala. I believe they

395
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have they have Walla community is rampant with coleamydia. Yeah,

396
00:18:02,839 --> 00:18:06,200
which is crazy. Our boy Benny also like to dabble

397
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with dark magic and pagan books of power. Those in

398
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the Vatican claim that they saw him consult him with

399
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evil spirits practicing unnatural rituals with the dead.

400
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Speaker 2: All right, I could you know, deal with the gay stuff.

401
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:24,759
Speaker 1: But pagan pagan as a Catholic, no, thank you.

402
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Speaker 2: I mean he's fucking adults. At least, right, it's a

403
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step up.

404
00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:33,079
Speaker 1: Well maybe yeah, probably not. I bet there's some boys.

405
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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's boys.

406
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Speaker 1: I mean they have goats and horses and certainly pigs.

407
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Certainly a boy's not gonna stop anyone.

408
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Speaker 2: You're just like, you're just dicking down a donkey and

409
00:18:44,279 --> 00:18:46,960
someone brings in a nine year old boy and you're like, oh, whoa,

410
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what's the ruining our good time?

411
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Speaker 1: What's the worst animal that Benedict could be fucking during

412
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these orgies?

413
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Speaker 2: Pigs are gross, dude.

414
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Speaker 1: They're more human though, right, I mean they have at

415
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least the brain close to well.

416
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Speaker 2: That that means it's more aware it's getting raped.

417
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Speaker 1: I guess. I guess any sort of maybe they can consent.

418
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Speaker 2: I guess any sort of bird. If you're dicking fucking

419
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a kloaca, a snake, I don't even know how that works.

420
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Speaker 1: I don't either.

421
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Speaker 2: I mean, they have genitals and stuff. I think.

422
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,839
Speaker 1: I don't know, but fucking a snake would symbolically be

423
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like you're fucking satan.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like they're letting the snake slide up.

425
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Speaker 1: Though that's true, he could go up. Can I do

426
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a mister lem me wink?

427
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Speaker 2: Situation yeah, I think that's probably if they had a

428
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,200
snake there. I think pig is probably gonna make you

429
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:41,200
fucking feel gross. So because pigs just ship down their back,

430
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,880
you know what I mean, So like it shit drips

431
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over the pussy, and I think it's pretty bad.

432
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Speaker 1: Okay, pigs are filthy. I would say, like a pig

433
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:52,359
and mud.

434
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say a modern animal would that would

435
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,599
be disgusting, would be like an English bulldog.

436
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:00,640
Speaker 1: Oh no, he's just choking the entire time.

437
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's just yeah. But I mean back then,

438
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just a pig is gonna be about as bad as

439
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the kids.

440
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Speaker 1: Benny's first reign went on for twelve years and was

441
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briefly interrupted during a failed coup in ten thirty six. Okay,

442
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,039
an assassination attempt by dozens of men carrying rope because

443
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:22,640
swords would have been too obvious into Saint Peter's Basilica

444
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was thwarted by God, of all people, I mean, you know,

445
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God contected Benedict. God had seen a thousand years of

446
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the same stuff, and he was like, I'm gonna love

447
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them cook, I'm gonna le I'm gonna see this goes. Now,

448
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,599
what do I mean by that.

449
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 2: I hope that they all got struck by lightning.

450
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Speaker 1: Not quite that extreme, but a solar eclipse distracts the

451
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would be assassins, given Benny time to escape.

452
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Speaker 2: But by that point they know what they know, Like

453
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they're scheduled, like they know when solar eclipses come. They've

454
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got that figured out. I'm pretty sure.

455
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Speaker 1: Some people probably, Yeah, so not everyone.

456
00:21:02,599 --> 00:21:07,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure there's plenty that are like these.

457
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Speaker 1: Goons were like, everything's becoming dark now, yeah, it's a

458
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bad sign.

459
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Speaker 2: That's fair.

460
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Speaker 1: He then went to Holy Roman Emperor Conrad the Second,

461
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who helped him dispose of the opposition and regain the throne.

462
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So that's his kind of like half.

463
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Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, okay, so he kind of got chased

464
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,279
off and then had to come back briefly. Yeah yeah, yeah,

465
00:21:28,279 --> 00:21:30,640
but he was never there was never like an anti pope.

466
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Speaker 1: There are a couple and then we'll get to it, Okay, now,

467
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,599
Monk Peter Damien went on to write a fairly accurate

468
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,720
but also slanderous account that compared his papacy and Rome

469
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,400
to the Biblical description of Gomorrah.

470
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:53,200
Speaker 2: I mean, it seems like a reasonable comparison so far.

471
00:21:53,759 --> 00:21:58,799
Speaker 1: Accusing the young pope of daily sodomy, bestiality, and several

472
00:21:58,960 --> 00:21:59,640
counts of murder.

473
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:05,559
Speaker 2: Well, you said Gomorra and he wasn't committing gommery, which

474
00:22:05,799 --> 00:22:08,920
was a reference to a failed sketch from is.

475
00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 1: That penis on penis.

476
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 2: It's penis in penis. It's penal sounding with another penis.

477
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:15,400
Speaker 1: Like an oil check with another penis.

478
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 2: Fuck him in the dick. Yeah yeah, yeah, that was

479
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,680
our sketch. It's very bedroom. It was like they found

480
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,680
the site of Gomorra.

481
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,640
Speaker 1: Because somebody has a giant just pee hole.

482
00:22:23,839 --> 00:22:25,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was an angel. They fucked an angel in

483
00:22:25,559 --> 00:22:26,000
the pee hole.

484
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 1: But an angel is an eyeball they made.

485
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,640
Speaker 2: They took him human form.

486
00:22:30,759 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: Okay, because I remember when we recorded that, I just

487
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:37,160
kind of lost the plot. I even edited it, and

488
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,759
I'm like, I don't know what's happened.

489
00:22:39,799 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 2: Made me giggle, But yeah, it was you and Jake,

490
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:44,160
Jake's sketch.

491
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

492
00:22:47,759 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 1: So Peter Damion actually becomes the saying himself, so you

493
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,759
gotta take his word pretty legit.

494
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 2: I mean.

495
00:22:55,799 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: Decades later, Pope Victor to the third wrote about Benedict

496
00:22:59,319 --> 00:23:03,960
the ninth as his papacy being a life so vile

497
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,160
and so foul that he shudders to think of it.

498
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 2: I mean look again, like going back to the like

499
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,599
gay thing, like the thing with like the orgy stuff

500
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,599
or whatever, is just like, look do you, but you

501
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,799
need to you need to acknowledge two things when you

502
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:24,440
do you in that situation. One, it's gross. Gross doesn't

503
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,079
mean bad, but it is gross. But it is gross, right,

504
00:23:28,279 --> 00:23:32,200
Like if someone if someone wanted to go complete like

505
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,480
a wing challenge or or see how long they could

506
00:23:36,519 --> 00:23:39,119
sit in a like set the world record for sit

507
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,480
in a in a festering pool of fucking like port

508
00:23:42,559 --> 00:23:45,279
potty waste, Like, I don't think that's bad if you

509
00:23:45,279 --> 00:23:47,519
want to set that record or whatever, Like, it's not

510
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,839
doesn't affect me, doesn't affect me, No, but it's gross.

511
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,920
And then the second thing is just be honest.

512
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,559
Speaker 1: And the amount of fluids that were just kind of

513
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,880
flying around the Vatican, Yeah, between all the animals all

514
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:00,359
the then.

515
00:24:00,319 --> 00:24:03,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, and by the way, just if if like like

516
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:08,960
any orgy is inherently gross, like the gay straight it

517
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,480
doesn't matter, like it's gross. It could be fun, but

518
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,359
lots of gross stuff is fun, but it's fucking gross.

519
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,039
Speaker 1: What's the number where you question it with how many

520
00:24:19,039 --> 00:24:22,839
people for an I don't know, man, I've read and

521
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:27,039
I think, when is it a bridge too far? Seven

522
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,839
eight twenty?

523
00:24:30,519 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 2: I think actually seven to eight is probably wear the

524
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,799
borderlacs out, Yeah, because I've seen videos, and then I think,

525
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,359
wasn't it Tansy was in here one time. He was

526
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,759
talking about an orgy. He walked up in on or something.

527
00:24:43,759 --> 00:24:45,680
He was like going to a house to drop something off,

528
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,880
and there's an orgy line of stairs like thirty people

529
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,079
and he was like, yeah, I want to stairs in

530
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,960
the smell and these were all clean people, right, Like

531
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,440
these weren't hobos.

532
00:24:53,599 --> 00:24:56,279
Speaker 1: I guess the North Carolina Beach community is a big

533
00:24:56,319 --> 00:24:57,079
swinger community.

534
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's gross. That's cool.

535
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 1: You think of all the logistics of that too. You

536
00:25:03,759 --> 00:25:07,119
gotta probably cater food for at least downstairs, get a

537
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:07,680
buffet going.

538
00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:10,559
Speaker 2: I mean, I certainly wouldn't want to eat before.

539
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you want to kind of fuck on an

540
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,160
empty stomach. Then you kind of refuel, right, you want

541
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,279
to fimby go back for round two.

542
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:20,880
Speaker 2: You you want to go in an orgy feeling bloated now,

543
00:25:21,759 --> 00:25:23,480
and if you don't, certainly don't want to go into

544
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,920
a gay orgy with the full stomach.

545
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,039
Speaker 1: And as someone that's been to a sex club, there

546
00:25:27,079 --> 00:25:27,319
was no.

547
00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 2: Food, nor should there have been.

548
00:25:29,519 --> 00:25:32,039
Speaker 1: There was no alcohol technically it was byob.

549
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 2: And by the way, I wouldn't even want to bring beer.

550
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,119
I would be tequila and water only.

551
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: We brought hard alcohol, yes, yeah, then they only sold

552
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:40,680
mixers there.

553
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,039
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's what I would want. I would be like, here,

554
00:25:43,759 --> 00:25:46,359
water and lime juice please, and I will pour my

555
00:25:46,839 --> 00:25:48,480
ice and I will pour my tequila into it.

556
00:25:48,559 --> 00:25:52,279
Speaker 1: Red Bull vodkasay, the last not ideal because I think,

557
00:25:52,279 --> 00:25:55,920
I guess stimulants kind of fuck around with your dick. Yeah,

558
00:25:55,960 --> 00:26:00,079
Coke does coctas adderall adderall. I don't know if there

559
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:01,799
is a more pathetic penis an adderall dick.

560
00:26:01,839 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it is acorn for sure. But uh, red

561
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,000
Bull though, also makes you puffy.

562
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:12,839
Speaker 1: I guess that was good for you as a child, though,

563
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:16,319
right like you had ADHD, you had a prescription adderall.

564
00:26:16,839 --> 00:26:19,519
You never had to worry about those mid class boners.

565
00:26:21,039 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 2: No, I was still fifteen, you know you overcame it.

566
00:26:25,079 --> 00:26:27,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was still it was still one of the

567
00:26:27,079 --> 00:26:27,839
saddest boners.

568
00:26:27,839 --> 00:26:33,079
Speaker 2: Possible life had finds away. No, the erection is fine.

569
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,000
The difficult that what what's pathetic is the soft dick.

570
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,240
And it's more difficult to get the erection. But if

571
00:26:40,279 --> 00:26:43,400
you achieve the erection, which a fifteen year old can

572
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:48,920
achieve an erection anywhere anywhere, So that wasn't a It

573
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,279
was just a sad soft dick, like if somebody, if

574
00:26:51,279 --> 00:26:54,039
somebody had like pants me in front of girls or whatever,

575
00:26:54,559 --> 00:26:56,799
I mean, they're no, they're never You're never living that down.

576
00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 1: No, but did it happen to you? No, thanks Jim class.

577
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,440
Well maybe you forgot underwear.

578
00:27:02,519 --> 00:27:05,079
Speaker 2: Went to all boys school, so yeah, they'll.

579
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,039
Speaker 1: Still make fun of your tiny day.

580
00:27:06,079 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 2: Oh they would totally, yeah, but they didn't get tabletops

581
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:10,079
didn't see it, Tait.

582
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 1: Was that somebody behind you put getting in? They push you?

583
00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:18,519
Speaker 2: Oh oh no, got booked a lot. We had book

584
00:27:18,559 --> 00:27:19,440
each other all the time.

585
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 1: We were big on a ball tapping.

586
00:27:21,759 --> 00:27:24,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, ball tapping too, and I had no Wiener to

587
00:27:24,519 --> 00:27:24,960
protect me.

588
00:27:26,319 --> 00:27:30,759
Speaker 1: Our balls are very callous though, oh boy, just like ironclad.

589
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 2: Yeah it's I don't I have no callouses on my

590
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,640
soft hands, but my nutsack it's a cheese grater built

591
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:38,160
Ford tough.

592
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

593
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,599
Speaker 1: By January ten forty five, a Roman mob finally had

594
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,400
enough and chase the young pope out of the city

595
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:49,880
and off the papal throne.

596
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 2: You're sick and tired. And then, by the way, the

597
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,960
Orgies aren't affecting them either, but at some point you's

598
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,200
got to get tired of hearing about it.

599
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 1: He's also not doing a good job. So Rome is

600
00:27:58,319 --> 00:28:01,480
very dependent on the Vatican. Like if the Vatican's kind

601
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:02,759
of in shambles, so is Rome.

602
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,559
Speaker 2: It is he rules, they rule Rome, the Papal states.

603
00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:08,279
At this point, it's not the High Priest of Rome

604
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,480
is Yeah, it's not the little teens Vatican. And then

605
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,599
you know the rest of Rome and part that part

606
00:28:12,599 --> 00:28:16,720
of Italy is run by a different state, the Papal States.

607
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,680
Back then we're all of central Italy. So there is

608
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,079
no Vatican City. It is Rome is Vatican City. The

609
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,440
entire central of Italy is Vatican City. At that point they.

610
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 1: Replaced him with John of Sabina, who would become Sylvester

611
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:31,640
the Third.

612
00:28:32,079 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 2: It's a weird pobe name, it is.

613
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: I know, like I mean, they're sly, Yeah, I guess that.

614
00:28:39,119 --> 00:28:41,359
I I don't want to Pope Sylvester in my life,

615
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,440
Sylvester Stallone. That's it. That's the only Sylvester I really know.

616
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 2: It's just an odd, odd pope name.

617
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,839
Speaker 1: You should name your third child that. He probably it is.

618
00:28:51,039 --> 00:28:52,759
It's a Catholic name, it is.

619
00:28:52,839 --> 00:28:55,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll I'll tell Coty like I got a new

620
00:28:55,599 --> 00:28:56,079
one to pitch it.

621
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sylvester, you can start calling your third kids.

622
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 2: Lie. One of the name on our list is a

623
00:29:02,359 --> 00:29:03,119
papal name.

624
00:29:05,039 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 1: There's only so many.

625
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of paper names, but this

626
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,240
one's like a I forget. Actually, I'll check. I'll check

627
00:29:11,279 --> 00:29:12,039
if it's the paper name.

628
00:29:12,319 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm pretty.

629
00:29:14,079 --> 00:29:14,759
Speaker 2: Pretty sure it is.

630
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 1: In exile, Benny excommunicates, Sylvester regroups, raises his own army,

631
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,960
and marches on Rome seven weeks later and takes back

632
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,920
the papacy. Good for him, Yeah, weirdly enough, he lets

633
00:29:29,039 --> 00:29:31,839
sly like he lives. He's just like, you're good.

634
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:32,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fine.

635
00:29:32,799 --> 00:29:35,359
Speaker 1: I'm just taking my seat back. You need to just

636
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,279
kind of go away, Yeah, just fade off.

637
00:29:38,359 --> 00:29:40,599
Speaker 2: This is mine, So, I.

638
00:29:40,559 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: Guess, kind of a nice guy. It's a nice gesture.

639
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 2: Why didn't he just retire, like Benedict and have his

640
00:29:47,039 --> 00:29:49,839
orgies just in the papal apartment.

641
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: Why didn't Benedict do that? No?

642
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 2: No, I mean Bendict did retire, But I mean, why

643
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,920
didn't what's his name.

644
00:29:56,799 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: Oh, the modern Benedict. Okay confused?

645
00:29:59,599 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 2: Oh I'm sorry, Yes, he's also Pedict. Why didn't this

646
00:30:01,519 --> 00:30:04,960
Benedict do the modern Benedict? Like, you know what, I'm

647
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,640
tired of these pulping I just wanted to have six

648
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:09,519
with my orergy.

649
00:30:09,759 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: Well he did, actually, Uh so he takes back the

650
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,880
throne a couple of weeks later, gets bored.

651
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,799
Speaker 2: He's like, ah, easily. But when you've had it all.

652
00:30:21,359 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: It's like it was so easy to take the throne back.

653
00:30:23,319 --> 00:30:25,000
I thought this was gonna be harder. I mean, you

654
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,680
got he's just to be sitting there at some point.

655
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,119
Speaker 2: And me, like I control most of the world. I

656
00:30:31,519 --> 00:30:36,039
I fuck it. Whatever I want, man, beast, womanly, if

657
00:30:36,039 --> 00:30:40,559
I choose, what else is there to do? Eh? I don't,

658
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,680
I'm He's just me and God.

659
00:30:43,519 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: Also, he really wanted to marry his cousin, which was

660
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:49,759
weird because she was a woman.

661
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:51,599
Speaker 2: No, that's not weird.

662
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,799
Speaker 1: I guess he wanted to continue his lineage maybe and.

663
00:30:54,759 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 2: Also probably like a power thing within the family or

664
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:58,559
who knows.

665
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:03,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, so sick weeks after reclaiming King Catholic, he sold

666
00:31:03,079 --> 00:31:06,799
the seat to his godfather, who would become Gregory the sixth,

667
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:13,759
for a sum of fifteen hundred pounds of gold, Okay,

668
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,599
which would equate to today thirty seven million dollars.

669
00:31:18,319 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 2: It's low inflation. Bidenmics Biden's America. Yeah, thirty seven million

670
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,079
dollars for the papacy. Wow, But I mean you got

671
00:31:28,079 --> 00:31:30,079
to think the GDP of any country back then.

672
00:31:30,079 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: Is also a big no no in Catholicism. Yeah, you're

673
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,559
not supposed to sell spiritual things.

674
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 2: Well, no, you could still do that. They had plenary.

675
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,400
Uh what is it called.

676
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 3: Is?

677
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:51,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's technically legal or immoral technically After his

678
00:31:51,599 --> 00:31:55,079
female cousin turns him down though, because well he was

679
00:31:55,119 --> 00:31:56,440
both gay and a priest.

680
00:31:57,599 --> 00:32:01,559
Speaker 2: Just's got to be like another level to where it's like, look,

681
00:32:02,079 --> 00:32:06,039
first off, you're gay. Secondly, you took a vow of celibacy,

682
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,119
and so how many diseases do you?

683
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 3: Yeah?

684
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 2: Like Thirdly, like it's not just the gay thing, it's

685
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:15,960
that like you fucked every man and boy and I

686
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:21,640
guess fucking dog in Italy. Yeah, so I'm gonna say,

687
00:32:22,039 --> 00:32:25,319
just to know, it's just to know you got the

688
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,680
dirtiest dick and you're by far.

689
00:32:29,359 --> 00:32:31,559
Speaker 1: Benny wanted to go back on the deal without having

690
00:32:31,599 --> 00:32:34,920
to give back the gold to his godfather. Three men

691
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,319
now claim that they belong on the Vatican throne. There

692
00:32:38,319 --> 00:32:43,319
was obviously Benny, his godfather, Gregory and Sly still call

693
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,039
still bucking Still like you know what, fuck I need

694
00:32:46,079 --> 00:32:46,599
to take it back.

695
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,119
Speaker 3: Yeah.

696
00:32:48,519 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: None of them, though, had enough support or military strength

697
00:32:51,599 --> 00:32:53,839
to take the seat for themselves.

698
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,559
Speaker 2: And my assumption that could be wrong here is that

699
00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:03,079
despite the fact that this dude was a clown, a

700
00:33:03,079 --> 00:33:05,880
lot of the other heads of Europe were like, it's

701
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,920
working for us, right, Like they couldn't get the King

702
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,519
of France or or the Holy Roman Emperor was backing

703
00:33:11,599 --> 00:33:16,920
him already obviously, so any old Holyroan okay, because that's

704
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:18,559
the thing is and a lot of the Pope's power

705
00:33:18,559 --> 00:33:21,559
would come from this. All the pope needed was one

706
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:25,640
or two very powerful kings or emperors like France or

707
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,960
Holy Roman Empire, maybe even England whatever to be on

708
00:33:29,039 --> 00:33:32,559
his side. And he's good because he can call on

709
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,640
them to get his back. Obviously the papacy has its

710
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,640
own army too, but you need other dude, you need

711
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,599
to make it seem like if you're gonna come at me,

712
00:33:40,839 --> 00:33:43,039
just know it's like three on one.

713
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: Is it just an army of Swiss Guard Yeah, oh

714
00:33:46,119 --> 00:33:50,119
with the pike and and of course you can unleash

715
00:33:50,119 --> 00:33:51,839
God from the basement of the Vatican.

716
00:33:52,839 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's more like unleashing Godzilla. Like you don't

717
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,559
know whose side he's gonna be on.

718
00:33:57,279 --> 00:34:01,319
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a lot of just like friendly fire

719
00:34:01,359 --> 00:34:05,799
with God. Yes, collateral damage, yeah, yeah, it's it's just

720
00:34:05,839 --> 00:34:06,960
it wipes out the whole city.

721
00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:10,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's essential to Duke. It's it is actually literally

722
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:11,840
the end of thor Regnarok.

723
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,760
Speaker 1: Yep, he's like, I can't beat you, but he can't.

724
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's God.

725
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:21,800
Speaker 1: It's actually based on our thorn is based on our God. Yeah,

726
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,559
our God the Vatican that we've been doing for three years.

727
00:34:24,639 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

728
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,159
Speaker 1: Now Roman's realizing this was an utter shit show and

729
00:34:30,199 --> 00:34:32,320
that the church and city could not properly run without

730
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,000
an adult in the room running the show. Go to

731
00:34:36,039 --> 00:34:39,519
the Holy Roman Emperor King Henry the Third to help

732
00:34:39,639 --> 00:34:40,760
cleanse their problem.

733
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 2: It's just a nightmare here. Every time we ask him

734
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:50,000
to like get some more bread, he's just he has

735
00:34:50,039 --> 00:34:51,159
an orgy and forgets.

736
00:34:52,599 --> 00:34:55,159
Speaker 1: He's like, I need the bread for the participants. They

737
00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:57,760
need all the energy they can get the carbo loadon. Yeah, yeah,

738
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,960
we don't have bread for you, not for you pez

739
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,159
and like unless you want to participate, yeah.

740
00:35:02,039 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 2: Unless if you want to come in of sex, not you, lady.

741
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,480
If you want to come in another sex with me,

742
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,599
you can have some bread. But you can just sit

743
00:35:08,639 --> 00:35:10,159
there and have bread. Let's fuck me.

744
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: They're just trying to cleanse each other with holy water.

745
00:35:13,159 --> 00:35:19,199
Speaker 2: Can you imagine how surreal it would have to be,

746
00:35:19,199 --> 00:35:20,760
Because you got to think too, by the way that

747
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,119
he's totally verse, right, I don't know. I mean sexuality

748
00:35:24,119 --> 00:35:26,559
is still a little different back then, hasn't fully switched

749
00:35:26,599 --> 00:35:29,480
to how we know it now, but it's getting there.

750
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:34,519
But you got to think someone that insatiable is given

751
00:35:34,559 --> 00:35:35,480
and getting.

752
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, he for sure, with that amount of power,

753
00:35:40,119 --> 00:35:44,159
is not gonna just say no to getting fucked in

754
00:35:44,159 --> 00:35:45,840
the ass, but also fucking someone in the ass.

755
00:35:46,079 --> 00:35:49,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was probably the Lucky Pierre a million times.

756
00:35:49,119 --> 00:35:53,079
And it's just like I want to know, because it's

757
00:35:53,119 --> 00:35:58,199
obviously not zero, how many people have put their wieners

758
00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:59,360
into the butts of popes?

759
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 1: Should we rename it the Lucky Benny baby or just

760
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:11,679
big time Benny. That's when you're in the middle. No,

761
00:36:12,039 --> 00:36:15,280
he for sure was just you know, nobody could tell him.

762
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:16,840
Now he could do whatever he wanted.

763
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 2: And he pushing limits left and right, like he yeah,

764
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,960
he could have anything. That's what they say now, right.

765
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,639
It's like, why would somebody you know go to Epsteen

766
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:27,280
Island or whatever? The fuck? Yeah?

767
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,159
Speaker 1: Why is everyone that's rich is like a pedophile? Yeah yeah,

768
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,519
right right, because they've done everything else.

769
00:36:32,639 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 2: Alexander wept for there were.

770
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:42,639
Speaker 1: No more children conpoles to conquer. Oh boy, Alexander had

771
00:36:42,639 --> 00:36:45,039
a whole relationship with a man. He named the city

772
00:36:45,079 --> 00:36:47,079
after a man, I believe. Yeah, but they have a

773
00:36:47,079 --> 00:36:48,840
holiday after. You know.

774
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:54,559
Speaker 2: It wasn't gay, he was topping. Twas not gay, and

775
00:36:54,599 --> 00:36:59,280
I believe he was topping. He probably, but like there

776
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,320
was a no.

777
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 1: World in my view, can Alexander bottom Caesar bottomed?

778
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure for some guy. His soldiers used to

779
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,159
make fun of him for it. Yeah, but I forget

780
00:37:09,159 --> 00:37:12,159
who the guy was. It was another like big time Roman.

781
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 1: I think it was Cleopatra and she just had a

782
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:14,760
strap on.

783
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:18,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that wouldn't surprise me. If anyone had good dildo

784
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,559
technology back then, it was the Egyptians.

785
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean some of the oldest dildos in

786
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,519
the world are Egyptian technology.

787
00:37:25,119 --> 00:37:28,800
Speaker 2: Uh. Well, dildo's pre date riding because of course they do.

788
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:29,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course they do.

789
00:37:30,559 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 2: Riding's like the last thing begun.

790
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,039
Speaker 1: Dildo's probably predate the Pyramids.

791
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 2: They oh, yeah, no, they do by thousands of ures,

792
00:37:36,599 --> 00:37:37,840
thousands and thousands of years.

793
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:43,079
Speaker 1: What if the Pyramids were built on dildo technology, so

794
00:37:43,199 --> 00:37:46,960
they do think because they think they rolled the stones

795
00:37:47,039 --> 00:37:49,719
right yep, on like rods, but they didn't have wheels,

796
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:50,639
I believe they didn't.

797
00:37:50,639 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 2: They had to roll them on rods, like on these

798
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,960
long cylindrical.

799
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 1: So it was just they were rolling these giant blocks

800
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,239
on dildos.

801
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:04,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, because anything can be used as a dildo, first off.

802
00:38:04,519 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, as long as it's you know, phallax shaped yep,

803
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,039
and yeah, as long as it goes in.

804
00:38:10,199 --> 00:38:12,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, anything's a dildo if you want it to be.

805
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: If you have the determination of will power, yeah.

806
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you look at something and you think that

807
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,679
can't be a dildo. That is a reflection of you,

808
00:38:23,199 --> 00:38:24,360
not of the object.

809
00:38:24,559 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 1: Exactly. Now. In ten forty six, Henry arrives from Rome.

810
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,559
He declares Benny in Sly were to be exiled and

811
00:38:33,599 --> 00:38:36,760
recommended Gregory resign so he could install a proper pope

812
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:37,400
of his choice.

813
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 2: Fresh dark.

814
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 1: We're going to clean the sleigh.

815
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:40,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, makes sense.

816
00:38:40,199 --> 00:38:41,559
Speaker 1: You were getting all these clowns out of here.

817
00:38:41,639 --> 00:38:43,199
Speaker 3: Yeah.

818
00:38:43,679 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 1: Clement the Second was picked to be the new pope

819
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,159
at the Council of Sutri, which Benny did not attend

820
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:55,079
or except being deposed. It's like, no, I'm not giving

821
00:38:55,079 --> 00:38:55,400
this up.

822
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,039
Speaker 2: Yeah, fuck this? Who are you?

823
00:38:57,679 --> 00:39:00,800
Speaker 1: I know you're the totally Roman emperor, but you don't

824
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:01,400
tell me what they do.

825
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. I got a whole army of guys that I

826
00:39:04,559 --> 00:39:07,480
fuck and will come after you. But then they just

827
00:39:07,519 --> 00:39:09,400
got distracted with banging.

828
00:39:09,679 --> 00:39:14,079
Speaker 1: So what happens. Clement the Second of course, had a

829
00:39:14,119 --> 00:39:18,239
long successful reign, and by that I mean he died

830
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,920
eight months later after Benny poisoned him.

831
00:39:21,079 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this dude doesn't fuck it around. It's such

832
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:25,519
as a psycho.

833
00:39:25,679 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: That's such a girl move who raised him? Poison. Yeah,

834
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,480
that's a gay boy move. Who that is It's called

835
00:39:31,519 --> 00:39:31,760
like a.

836
00:39:31,679 --> 00:39:34,639
Speaker 2: Woman's weapon, I think, yeah, right, isn't it.

837
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 1: He was just an Italian aristocrat, just some psycho that

838
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,000
came from a rich family.

839
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,079
Speaker 2: And they're like, this will be this guy's the pope.

840
00:39:42,119 --> 00:39:44,239
Like no one, by the way, so he became hope

841
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,119
when he was twenty right, yep, no one saw the

842
00:39:46,159 --> 00:39:48,440
red flags at sixteen seventeen.

843
00:39:48,639 --> 00:39:50,800
Speaker 1: I think the average age for popes too before this

844
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:52,039
was like in the fifties.

845
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,840
Speaker 2: Or I'm sure it was, but like and this is

846
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,360
just like the ultimate like you know, you just get

847
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,559
dad's have trust fun kids and they just can't see it.

848
00:40:02,559 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 1: That's what he was.

849
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:03,639
Speaker 3: Yeah.

850
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 2: But that's the thing too, is like the all the

851
00:40:05,519 --> 00:40:08,079
dumbest thing a rich father can do.

852
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 1: It's like my kid needs purpose, he needs something to do.

853
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 2: Yep, yep, I'll tell you a little straighten him out,

854
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:18,199
unlimited power. Yeah, this will go well. But even on

855
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,880
like a lower scale, right, like you'll just see they'll

856
00:40:21,199 --> 00:40:23,760
like they'll see their ship bag kid like doing.

857
00:40:23,599 --> 00:40:27,519
Speaker 1: Coke his dad's company. What just getting a job at

858
00:40:27,519 --> 00:40:29,079
his dad's company. It'll be like what I.

859
00:40:29,159 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 2: Will what will work is if I give him a

860
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,039
management position, if I give him an important position at

861
00:40:33,039 --> 00:40:36,920
my company, and obviously the salary and power that goes

862
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,760
with it, he'll learn, He'll that responsibility will smack him

863
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,920
in the face and he'll do better. But that's not

864
00:40:44,519 --> 00:40:45,920
almost ever, how it goes.

865
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 1: Uh, you're telling me somebody that's just handed the position.

866
00:40:50,079 --> 00:40:52,400
It doesn't work out, doesn't earn it.

867
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 2: Like what does the dad even thinking, like, oh, well,

868
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,320
he won't want to disappoint me this time. It's be like, dude,

869
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,000
it's all he's doing is seeing how high he can

870
00:41:01,039 --> 00:41:05,000
go on the disappointment. He the limit does not exist.

871
00:41:05,519 --> 00:41:07,639
He will disappoint you to the ends of the earth.

872
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 1: He's pushing boundaries to see how much he can disappoint you.

873
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,119
Speaker 2: And you're not And he knows you're not gonna let

874
00:41:15,159 --> 00:41:15,639
him starve to.

875
00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 1: Death no cause you know, all else fails, just come

876
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:21,440
back to daddy's arms.

877
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,199
Speaker 2: Sounds a good life, to be honest.

878
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:27,159
Speaker 1: Can't let your bloodline fail.

879
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 2: No, that's the other thing that's funny too. It's like

880
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,159
maybe a good.

881
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:36,360
Speaker 1: Woman straighten them, yeah, straighten them out. Maybe well hopefully

882
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,559
they were like maybe maybe our his cousin could straighten

883
00:41:38,599 --> 00:41:38,880
him out.

884
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the thing about that too with like other

885
00:41:41,119 --> 00:41:41,639
people is.

886
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 1: Like literally straighten him.

887
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I think he's well beyond that.

888
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 1: He's a pioneer though, first game, Pope, good for him.

889
00:41:52,519 --> 00:41:53,639
Speaker 2: It's never the ones you want.

890
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 3: Nope.

891
00:41:55,519 --> 00:42:02,039
Speaker 1: Do you think the lgbt Q not gonna claim yeah?

892
00:42:02,199 --> 00:42:03,760
Speaker 2: Or like the only way they would claim him is

893
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:05,800
if they were like, were totally delusional about it and

894
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,880
we're like, well, the it was the times and he

895
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,840
was forced to act out and really I think.

896
00:42:09,679 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: They would claim him though, because they're anti Catholicism.

897
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:18,079
Speaker 2: Walking up thin ice in my book. If that's the case,

898
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:22,639
all right, But that's the same thing with the president, right,

899
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:25,360
Like nobody wants to claim James Buchanan as the first

900
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:26,679
gay president because.

901
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:31,199
Speaker 1: He was the worst president. Also the only Pennsylvania president.

902
00:42:31,199 --> 00:42:34,159
I believe Biden's from Scranton, but I think he was

903
00:42:34,159 --> 00:42:36,679
born in Scranton, but I think he claims Delaware.

904
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 2: You can you can double up on that.

905
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 1: Okay, But yeah, Buchanan before Biden was the first Pennsylvania

906
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:43,159
president because I.

907
00:42:43,119 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 2: Think honestly that well, if not before, certainly now Florida

908
00:42:49,039 --> 00:42:50,760
can claim Trump. I don't know that Florida's had a

909
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:52,039
present president before.

910
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 1: I don't think so either.

911
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:58,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, but a lot of It's not a ton of them,

912
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,000
but like a fair amount. I'll claim, like double claim,

913
00:43:02,039 --> 00:43:05,960
like Eisenhower is claimed by both Texas and Kansas, because

914
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:12,360
Eisenhower I think was born in Kansas but raised in Texas,

915
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,880
so he's really more Texas, but then other states like

916
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,360
Truman was Missouri through and three he was a Missouri

917
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,320
representative or whatever.

918
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 1: Listen, if a sport can be claimed by both the

919
00:43:21,559 --> 00:43:26,599
Nation of Canada and Kansas basketball, I think President's skin too.

920
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,679
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921
00:43:29,679 --> 00:43:32,800
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922
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924
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925
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Speaker 1: Benny sees power once more in October of ten forty

990
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:15,800
seven after poisoning Clement the Second, until Henry sent in

991
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,599
imperial troops and drove him out of the city once more.

992
00:47:19,079 --> 00:47:22,159
In July of ten forty eight, just like get out,

993
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:29,400
Damassus the second was elected. Who Damassus the second Not

994
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,280
Damascus like city, but Damassius.

995
00:47:32,559 --> 00:47:35,800
Speaker 2: Okay, that is first time I ever heard that name.

996
00:47:36,039 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, well there's a reason. Okay, he lasts twenty one

997
00:47:40,039 --> 00:47:46,920
days poison malaria. I'll do it so again, God's kind

998
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:49,199
of picking his side. God, it's like, let him cook,

999
00:47:49,599 --> 00:47:55,679
Let this man cook. And of course Benny seeses the

1000
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:59,880
power once more. Always look for an opportunity.

1001
00:48:00,079 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 2: I mean, do they just take the sign at this point?

1002
00:48:04,599 --> 00:48:05,960
Like everyone they're.

1003
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:09,280
Speaker 1: Just like all right, well, no, Henry doesn't give up. Okay,

1004
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:15,880
Henry places his hope into Pope Leo the Ninth, who

1005
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,400
put Benedict on trial on ten forty nine for selling

1006
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:21,320
the papacy to his godfather Henry.

1007
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:24,320
Speaker 2: Or it's like getting capone for tax evasion a little bit.

1008
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:29,719
Speaker 1: Not the murder he killed the pope. He killed a pope.

1009
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:33,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, not the murder, not the sodomy, which is you know,

1010
00:48:34,199 --> 00:48:35,800
I don't care if you're having sex with dudes, but

1011
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:39,960
it's illegal to them, not any of that stuff.

1012
00:48:40,079 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: No. Benny of course refused to appear for his hearing

1013
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:50,559
and was excommunicated and exiled to a monastery where he

1014
00:48:50,599 --> 00:48:53,079
did not rally. He lived out his days.

1015
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,559
Speaker 2: Oh boy, Wow, he's got to hold up with a

1016
00:48:55,559 --> 00:48:58,519
bunch of other dudes. I guess. Yeah, how old was

1017
00:48:58,559 --> 00:49:00,519
he at this point? What is how old by the

1018
00:49:00,599 --> 00:49:01,159
end of this.

1019
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:05,599
Speaker 1: So forty nine? He was born in ten twelve.

1020
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:08,599
Speaker 2: Thirty seven.

1021
00:49:09,599 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 1: That sounds right, right, yeah, yeah.

1022
00:49:13,639 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 2: So prime of his life.

1023
00:49:16,599 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 1: Well, he lives at the monastery and allegedly repentant for

1024
00:49:22,039 --> 00:49:25,239
all the sins and died in ten fifty six of

1025
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:26,960
natural causes at the age of forty three.

1026
00:49:27,079 --> 00:49:32,119
Speaker 2: Okay, so I will say depending on what the monastery

1027
00:49:32,119 --> 00:49:33,880
he got sent to, some of his monastery.

1028
00:49:34,159 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 1: By natural causes. This dude died of some type of STD.

1029
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:40,079
Speaker 2: Every STD.

1030
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just festered.

1031
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,920
Speaker 2: There was a great SNL sketch back in the day,

1032
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,719
like early Will Ferrell days, where it was like James

1033
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,400
Bond at the doctor. It was just like his STD

1034
00:49:50,679 --> 00:49:51,440
test came back.

1035
00:49:51,519 --> 00:49:56,519
Speaker 1: Essentially, you think he would contract some stuff though he's

1036
00:49:56,519 --> 00:50:00,280
with some high class ladies. I mean, he's fucking lot,

1037
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:01,800
but they're clean vaginas.

1038
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 2: I think maybe you never know a girl in a

1039
00:50:05,039 --> 00:50:06,239
report they.

1040
00:50:06,199 --> 00:50:08,039
Speaker 1: Are at least three thousand dollars escorts.

1041
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 2: That's not enough. Well maybe in the sixties.

1042
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Now, the church to this day still still

1043
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,239
gives Benedict the Ninth credit as the legitimate pope of

1044
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:19,719
his time.

1045
00:50:20,559 --> 00:50:23,280
Speaker 2: Well he was elected, right, technically.

1046
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:26,760
Speaker 1: Well it's dad bought to see, right, And they label

1047
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,519
Sylvester and Gregory as anti popes.

1048
00:50:29,639 --> 00:50:32,920
Speaker 2: Okay, that's probably. I mean, look, they're just being accurate bookkeepers.

1049
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:37,519
What do you want what do you want them to say? Actually,

1050
00:50:37,519 --> 00:50:41,159
credit to them for not rewriting history. Yeah, they're like,

1051
00:50:41,199 --> 00:50:43,000
this is what is what fucking happened?

1052
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:44,199
Speaker 3: Now?

1053
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:48,400
Speaker 1: I did not check. Is Benedict the ninth a saint?

1054
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,079
Speaker 2: There just can't be any possible way.

1055
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,079
Speaker 1: Uh No, he is not a saint.

1056
00:50:54,159 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 2: Who was Actually we've talked to this before, but who

1057
00:50:56,519 --> 00:50:58,519
was the first pope who wasn't a saint? Because the

1058
00:50:58,559 --> 00:51:04,000
first like thirty were says they had to be before this,

1059
00:51:04,199 --> 00:51:04,800
Yeah it was.

1060
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 1: But yeah, not a good look when you can't even

1061
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,119
get saint as a pope.

1062
00:51:11,159 --> 00:51:15,519
Speaker 2: So Pope Liberius was the first pope who wasn't considered

1063
00:51:15,519 --> 00:51:19,199
a saint, and he uh was pope. Well, he lived

1064
00:51:19,199 --> 00:51:21,639
from three ten to three sixty six, so they were

1065
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,320
essentially at least three.

1066
00:51:24,159 --> 00:51:27,320
Speaker 1: Hundred popes that were all saints, that were all saints

1067
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:32,000
before they were like, nah, well not three hundred popes.

1068
00:51:33,639 --> 00:51:35,119
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1069
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 2: The first pope was in like fucking twenty eight. I'm sorry,

1070
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:39,840
forty eight.

1071
00:51:40,039 --> 00:51:42,079
Speaker 1: Probably wasn't Peter the first pope.

1072
00:51:42,119 --> 00:51:45,159
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so like call it thirty forty eighty. Jesus

1073
00:51:45,159 --> 00:51:47,400
died like thirty three thirty six ad, so like call

1074
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:52,360
it forty eighty. Popes don't reign their whole lives. They

1075
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:53,000
get elected.

1076
00:51:53,119 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 1: He said.

1077
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:58,599
Speaker 2: The average age was like fifty three hundred years.

1078
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:03,119
Speaker 1: Three hundred years average age, so the ring is probably

1079
00:52:03,159 --> 00:52:04,039
like ten to twenty years.

1080
00:52:05,119 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 2: Oh wait, so thirty popes. Yeah, I'm an idiot. Yeah yeah,

1081
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:12,039
I was like a pope a year. Yeah, I'm dumb. Yeah.

1082
00:52:12,039 --> 00:52:15,599
So it's the first thirty probably thirty take yeah yeah,

1083
00:52:16,039 --> 00:52:18,639
and then finally they're like, nah, not this guy.

1084
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:19,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're good.

1085
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:25,679
Speaker 1: Honestly, that's an accomplishment in its own right. And you know,

1086
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:29,800
benedicta ninth not a saint but a gay icon.

1087
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 2: Kind of. I mean it's a very gay religion.

1088
00:52:36,559 --> 00:52:42,880
Speaker 1: Also, you know was ahead of his time with beastiality bussy.

1089
00:52:43,199 --> 00:52:46,679
Is that the next frontier? No, you have all these

1090
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:50,239
people arguing, which you know is just gross and awful.

1091
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:55,159
But people are like arguing, not that pedophilia is wrong, right,

1092
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,760
forget what it's called. It's like a.

1093
00:52:57,159 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 2: Map male minor. Yeah. No, the one that I actually

1094
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,599
made a cartoon about this. I need to finish because

1095
00:53:04,599 --> 00:53:05,239
I record all the.

1096
00:53:05,159 --> 00:53:08,519
Speaker 1: Audio and I'm thinking the next thing is probably people

1097
00:53:08,599 --> 00:53:09,960
arguing for animal fucking.

1098
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,639
Speaker 2: Nope, I can tell you what it's gonna be. And

1099
00:53:11,679 --> 00:53:14,360
I actually had a conversation about with this, about our

1100
00:53:15,159 --> 00:53:17,079
about this with our friend uh who's been on the

1101
00:53:17,079 --> 00:53:18,840
show of Veronica, who's a psychologist.

1102
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,400
Speaker 1: I've also had this conversation with Veronica. She thinks it's

1103
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:22,119
Pacioti too.

1104
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:25,639
Speaker 2: No, she told me she thinks it's incest mm hmm.

1105
00:53:26,519 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 1: Because of all the porn and also all of the

1106
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:30,320
TV shows.

1107
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,880
Speaker 2: Well that and just like essentially, so I made a

1108
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,679
cartoon about this where it's like this like these like this,

1109
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:37,639
really I need to finish it. But it's like essentially

1110
00:53:37,639 --> 00:53:40,679
it's a short cartoon about this really progressive couple who

1111
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:42,440
just found out they're pregnant and they're bragging about how,

1112
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,400
you know, our kid's not gonna worry about growing up

1113
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:48,639
in a repressive household or whatever. We're obviously okay if

1114
00:53:48,679 --> 00:53:50,280
they're gay or trans and stuff like that. And they're

1115
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:53,280
out with this couple like they're they're lesbian couple friends

1116
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,920
and one of them is psychologists based on very real

1117
00:53:55,960 --> 00:54:01,400
life obviously, and uh, psychologists like you know, like they're like, oh, well,

1118
00:54:01,639 --> 00:54:05,679
you know, you know, nothing's left to be repressive against, right,

1119
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:09,079
like we figured everything out like the hubris of modern day.

1120
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,039
And the psychologist's friend is like, well, actually there could

1121
00:54:12,079 --> 00:54:14,239
be one thing, and they're like what, And then it

1122
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:17,440
just cuts back and forth between the future and the present.

1123
00:54:17,679 --> 00:54:20,800
And the future is their son and daughter, who are

1124
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,840
teenagers are coming out to them that they're banging, and they're.

1125
00:54:23,599 --> 00:54:25,519
Speaker 1: Like, that's not really the future though, that's the past.

1126
00:54:26,199 --> 00:54:28,079
What do you mean, I mean, there's so much incest

1127
00:54:28,119 --> 00:54:29,840
in the past. I know, I know that it's kind

1128
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:32,000
of retro but here, yeah, yeah, true. But here's the

1129
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,519
thing about it's just coming in psychles.

1130
00:54:33,599 --> 00:54:35,679
Speaker 2: You're saying about incests now though, is that What are

1131
00:54:35,679 --> 00:54:39,000
the two primary reasons to not do incest? Aside in

1132
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,360
the fact it's gross, but gross really is a social

1133
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,880
construct because Egyptian pharaohs married their sisters and stuff all

1134
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:47,480
the time. The two primary reasons to not fuck.

1135
00:54:47,599 --> 00:54:50,159
Speaker 1: I mean your jack Maniville just an entire episode on

1136
00:54:50,199 --> 00:54:52,360
World War One. They're all cousins and they all fuck

1137
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:52,679
each other.

1138
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the primary reason why it was bad for them,

1139
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:59,159
and the primary reason is having kids. We'll fuck the

1140
00:54:59,199 --> 00:54:59,480
kid up.

1141
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:02,519
Speaker 1: It's bad for the kid, right, But your birth pad, genetics.

1142
00:55:02,079 --> 00:55:05,079
Speaker 2: Your birth control, and abortion. That takes care of that

1143
00:55:05,119 --> 00:55:07,880
one thing. So you can bang any of your relatives

1144
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:13,960
technically without the one repercussion that makes incests bad. So

1145
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:14,960
if you just don't want to have a kid with

1146
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,199
them and you just want to bang, you can stop it.

1147
00:55:17,199 --> 00:55:21,400
You couldn't stop it one hundred two hundred thousand years ago.

1148
00:55:22,119 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 1: But also everything that comes with the the social view

1149
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:27,320
of you banging your sister.

1150
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,760
Speaker 2: Social construct, baby, social construct.

1151
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,360
Speaker 1: They're still gonna I don't know if we're gonna get

1152
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:32,800
past that.

1153
00:55:33,079 --> 00:55:35,199
Speaker 2: I don't want to get past it. That's what and

1154
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,519
so veronicas the funny thing Veronica is said to be

1155
00:55:37,519 --> 00:55:41,440
about it because she's very very woke. Uh, she said

1156
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,440
she was this. She was just like, I guess that's

1157
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,400
what I'll be a big about. That's that's where she

1158
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:49,719
draws a line, like if that becomes a thing, I

1159
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,239
guess that's what I'll be a big.

1160
00:55:51,679 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 1: Well, she's a mother now, even though she's a lesbian.

1161
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:57,360
I can see her future. She's gonna get progressively like

1162
00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:58,320
more conservative.

1163
00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 2: She is in some ways about like family stuff already,

1164
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:05,000
certainly because there's a there's a large like sect of

1165
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,000
liberalism that's like having kids is wrong or we don't

1166
00:56:08,119 --> 00:56:10,480
like kids and blah blah blah. And obviously she's very

1167
00:56:10,519 --> 00:56:13,079
maternal as well, so she thinks that's all bullshit. But

1168
00:56:13,679 --> 00:56:14,360
that was just funny.

1169
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,039
Speaker 1: Something was kind of fucking wrong with you if you

1170
00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:20,079
don't like if you just hate kids.

1171
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like kind of fucked in the head.

1172
00:56:22,679 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what is wrong with you?

1173
00:56:25,119 --> 00:56:25,840
Speaker 2: Yeah it's weird.

1174
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:28,800
Speaker 1: Sure I don't have kids, but like, yeah, I want

1175
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:31,280
to fight your child. Maybe maybe it's a bit maybe,

1176
00:56:32,159 --> 00:56:35,239
but I like your other kid, Finn. Yeah, I mean

1177
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,440
Rory's just a monster. But I'm just calling it, like

1178
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,440
I see it. But you know, I didn't have it

1179
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,639
out for Rory until I saw what he was capable

1180
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:45,679
of and just how big of a shit baggy is.

1181
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:47,719
Speaker 2: Early on, I mean, Rory was four months old and

1182
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:49,039
Dan looked in his eyes.

1183
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,199
Speaker 1: I could see, I see the monster that's within.

1184
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:52,199
Speaker 2: Didn't like what he saw.

1185
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:54,760
Speaker 1: But you know, Finn was born. I right, like, I'm

1186
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:55,400
cool with Finn.

1187
00:56:55,559 --> 00:56:57,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know. I sent a picture of

1188
00:56:57,559 --> 00:56:58,840
Finn the other day in the group chat and Dan

1189
00:56:58,960 --> 00:56:59,760
is like, fuck.

1190
00:56:59,639 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you need to feed him more though he's

1191
00:57:03,079 --> 00:57:03,840
he's looking.

1192
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 2: Gaunt, frail. Yeah, he's a soft boy. No, Finn's the

1193
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,800
one that gets hurt all the time because Rory's getting

1194
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:14,320
all the food. He's got brittle bones.

1195
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:22,440
Speaker 1: And that is the story of Benedict the Ninth. Yeah,

1196
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,159
but you don't think bcati's gonna be a thing in

1197
00:57:24,199 --> 00:57:24,800
the future either.

1198
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 2: No. I think that's gross.

1199
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: I hope not.

1200
00:57:26,639 --> 00:57:27,480
Speaker 2: It's too gross.

1201
00:57:28,079 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 1: It's somebody gross. I mean, there was whole relationships in

1202
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:35,320
what the sixties and seventies were covered of researchers with dolphins.

1203
00:57:35,599 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1204
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just too much. It's also just gross, like

1205
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:46,039
it's gross. Yeah, it's animals and Obviously, I think banging

1206
00:57:46,079 --> 00:57:48,480
your sister is gross, but at least it's a human being,

1207
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:54,760
I guess, you know, yes, like a dog's pussy, are

1208
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:58,239
you kidding? Or a dog boner, a dog's ass, dogs

1209
00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:01,119
fucking erection, that's a lot.

1210
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 1: Did you also have that urban legend of a girl yep, skippy,

1211
00:58:05,639 --> 00:58:07,880
like they just put peanut butter on there. Yeah, my

1212
00:58:08,039 --> 00:58:11,000
urban legend was it was either Jiff or Skippy, and

1213
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:13,920
that's what you her nickname was because she put peanut

1214
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:15,800
butter on her couch and had the dog lookut off.

1215
00:58:16,719 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 2: My urban legend. Want a step further, maybe that you

1216
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:21,039
had this too, but it was she came home, the

1217
00:58:21,079 --> 00:58:24,880
house was really dark, and she was horny. She's like

1218
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:26,960
in high school or whatever, and she was horny. So

1219
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,280
she put peanut butter on her pussy and the dog

1220
00:58:29,599 --> 00:58:32,360
started licking it off, and then all the lights came

1221
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:34,639
on and she didn't realize there was a surprise party.

1222
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 1: For Okay, that's a nice little additive dynamic.

1223
00:58:38,559 --> 00:58:41,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, so just like all her friends and family saw

1224
00:58:41,719 --> 00:58:44,199
the dog eating her out.

1225
00:58:45,119 --> 00:58:46,679
Speaker 1: There was also a girl in my high school that

1226
00:58:46,719 --> 00:58:49,960
I guess, like this was true though, got gang banged.

1227
00:58:50,119 --> 00:58:54,320
I believe by like a more urban community.

1228
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:57,519
Speaker 2: She banged in instead jumped in.

1229
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 1: They put her in a dog cage and barked at her. Okay, yeah,

1230
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,280
and then as she walked they would always as she

1231
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:08,199
was walking in the halls of the high school, we

1232
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:12,119
get barked at. That's that's that's a tough story.

1233
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:12,239
Speaker 3: To live up.

1234
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:15,599
Speaker 2: That's not you just wanted to get a move away. Yeah, yeah,

1235
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:17,800
just yeah. You go to college on the other side

1236
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:18,280
of the country.

1237
00:59:18,639 --> 00:59:19,039
Speaker 3: Come back.

1238
00:59:20,679 --> 00:59:24,199
Speaker 1: Would you learn today about the first gay pope?

1239
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:25,079
Speaker 2: Who Boy?

1240
00:59:25,599 --> 00:59:28,920
Speaker 1: Well, technically I bet there was more gay popes? Yeah, openly.

1241
00:59:29,199 --> 00:59:30,719
Speaker 2: Let me let me say this, Actually I don't know.

1242
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:33,280
It's probably of the first gay pope. Who knows will

1243
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,039
be the last? Well, who knows about that either, But

1244
00:59:36,119 --> 00:59:39,800
I will say this the gayest pope easily the gayest

1245
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:45,719
probably like Boy by a mile. But I mean, nobody

1246
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:49,880
is catching that guy's record, that is, I mean, that

1247
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:53,079
is Joe DiMaggio's his streak of gaias like that. It's

1248
00:59:53,199 --> 00:59:54,760
just it's never getting broken.

1249
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:55,960
Speaker 3: You know.

1250
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:57,719
Speaker 2: How people saw Young's wins.

1251
00:59:57,519 --> 01:00:01,880
Speaker 1: Typically complain about like gay Pride Parade, how they're inappropriate,

1252
01:00:02,679 --> 01:00:03,679
you know, because it's just the one.

1253
01:00:03,719 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 2: I've heard some of them are getting pretty wild.

1254
01:00:05,719 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 1: Dudes are just like helicopter and there dicks out in

1255
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,960
the public. Yeah, that's essentially his papacy.

1256
01:00:11,079 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is funny because that's not even gay. That's

1257
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:21,559
just a penis. A penis isn't gay.

1258
01:00:22,079 --> 01:00:25,199
Speaker 1: It's kind of gay. They're wearing like the weather hat.

1259
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 2: No, the rest of it's gay. But a dick's just

1260
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,519
a dick. That's not a that's a dick pride parade

1261
01:00:29,519 --> 01:00:31,760
at that. If you're waving your dick at people, you're

1262
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:34,199
not taking pride in your gayness. You're taking pride in

1263
01:00:34,239 --> 01:00:35,079
your fucking dick.

1264
01:00:35,199 --> 01:00:37,679
Speaker 1: Yeah. But if a straight dude does that, it's a

1265
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:38,320
salt brother.

1266
01:00:38,599 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I can't do that, gay guy. Although

1267
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:43,199
Marty Grass saw some ween.

1268
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:45,480
Speaker 1: You're just you're just celebrating your culture.

1269
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:50,159
Speaker 2: Fair enough. But yeah, I learned about the gayest pope

1270
01:00:50,159 --> 01:00:55,400
in history. Again that will not be topped unlike him. Yeah.

1271
01:00:55,639 --> 01:00:59,280
But yeah, and who's today's hitler? I don't know.

1272
01:00:59,599 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 1: I guess his family, his dad, his dad, his account Yeah,

1273
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:08,159
good lord, just buying the seat, Yeah, his dad's giving.

1274
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:10,039
Speaker 2: I mean he's a piece of shit too. He did

1275
01:01:10,199 --> 01:01:13,480
kill people he murdered. He's a piece of shit, several

1276
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:16,880
fucking animals, and let's be honest, probably molesting boys too.

1277
01:01:17,119 --> 01:01:20,519
So but I can't put that on just him as pope.

1278
01:01:20,639 --> 01:01:26,960
Speaker 1: So my hitler today the sun solar eclips stopped him

1279
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:28,000
from being assassinated.

1280
01:01:28,079 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 2: Well that's just God. Is God your hitler?

1281
01:01:32,079 --> 01:01:37,679
Speaker 1: He might be? Okay, Yeah, fair enough, many many occasions

1282
01:01:37,679 --> 01:01:38,960
that God saves this man.

1283
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:42,239
Speaker 2: Time and again. He just wanted to see been a

1284
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:44,400
thousand years. God is like, all right, let's just see

1285
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:48,960
what happens. Let's work this. Yeah, another Italian blah blah blah,

1286
01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:49,480
old guy.

1287
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 1: Maybe his cousin for not wanting to marry him.

1288
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,239
Speaker 2: I don't think that would have solved anything.

1289
01:01:55,559 --> 01:01:56,800
Speaker 1: He probably still goes back for this.

1290
01:01:56,920 --> 01:01:59,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think mostly she. I think she made a

1291
01:01:59,559 --> 01:02:00,320
good choice.

1292
01:02:00,559 --> 01:02:04,239
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that is our episode for the week. Thanks

1293
01:02:04,239 --> 01:02:08,039
for tuning in. Make sure to check out Patreon patreon

1294
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:11,239
dot com slash softcore History, where you get two additional

1295
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:15,239
episodes every week and at this point a three year

1296
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:20,840
evergreen back catalog that's ad free, no ads, no motherfucking

1297
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:25,639
and original content you can find nowhere else nowhere. Uh So,

1298
01:02:25,719 --> 01:02:27,199
make sure to check that out five bucks a month.

1299
01:02:27,239 --> 01:02:30,199
It's it's nothing, man. And if you do sign up, though,

1300
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:34,480
try to sign up online and not through Apple. You

1301
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,519
can obviously listen through the Patreon app, but if you

1302
01:02:36,519 --> 01:02:37,760
do sign up, try to do it online.

1303
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 2: So if you pay through your iPhone, we will lose money.

1304
01:02:42,119 --> 01:02:43,880
Speaker 1: It's not going to affect you, but we will lose

1305
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:44,760
a percentage of money.

1306
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:45,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, we won't.

1307
01:02:45,679 --> 01:02:47,599
Speaker 2: We're not changing, we're not up upping the price to

1308
01:02:47,719 --> 01:02:51,000
offset it. So just sign up on your laptop or whatever.

1309
01:02:51,039 --> 01:02:54,360
Sign up through your internet browser on your computer, or

1310
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,239
I guess on Safari on your fucking phone if you

1311
01:02:56,280 --> 01:03:00,360
really want to. But uh, and I don't think. I

1312
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:02,440
don't think Google Play does that. But I actually don't know.

1313
01:03:02,519 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 1: I don't even know what google Play is.

1314
01:03:04,039 --> 01:03:06,760
Speaker 2: It's Android. Don't worry about.

1315
01:03:06,519 --> 01:03:10,480
Speaker 1: It, Okay, make sure to leave a review five stars

1316
01:03:10,519 --> 01:03:14,639
please and thank you. That will help us manipulate the

1317
01:03:14,719 --> 01:03:18,119
charts and we'll appear to be more popular than we are.

1318
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:20,360
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, it's all lie.

1319
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 1: Everything in the podcast community, in the podcast world is

1320
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:27,920
a lie, huge lie. But we're here for you, and

1321
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:29,039
we're here to tell you the truth.

1322
01:03:29,199 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 2: God damn right.

1323
01:03:31,079 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 1: Software history dot Com for merch. I didn't redo the

1324
01:03:34,239 --> 01:03:36,440
merch store, but we do have some cool stuff still.

1325
01:03:36,559 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 2: It's coming.

1326
01:03:37,719 --> 01:03:39,719
Speaker 1: It's coming. But also we gotta we're gonna have to

1327
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:42,440
have some money in the bank because when they order

1328
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:43,639
it comes out of.

1329
01:03:43,559 --> 01:03:46,360
Speaker 2: Our we get charged before we get paid.

1330
01:03:46,559 --> 01:03:50,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, so please don't I'm not gonna tell you how

1331
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:54,079
much is in the bank, but please don't overdraft.

1332
01:03:53,639 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 2: Our that'd be great.

1333
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 1: Well, we're working on the merch though. We'll get some

1334
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,559
good stuff, I'm saying. With the march out yeah. Ye.

1335
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:06,719
And of course software history on Instagram. Uh, TikTok, I

1336
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:10,280
guess too. Nah, no YouTube, We're done with TikTok.

1337
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:10,639
Speaker 2: Eh.

1338
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 1: It does nothing.

1339
01:04:13,079 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't do anything.

1340
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:19,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, follow him Rob Fox three wherever you

1341
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:21,159
have social media?

1342
01:04:21,239 --> 01:04:22,039
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much.

1343
01:04:22,599 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 1: I think I'm only on Instagram at this point.

1344
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:26,320
Speaker 2: I'm on Twitter, not on Blue Sky.

1345
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:29,480
Speaker 1: If you're not Blue Ski guy, not on Blue Ski.

1346
01:04:29,559 --> 01:04:32,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, it seems like he's wasted it is.

1347
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:35,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, all of it all social media's It doesn't waste

1348
01:04:35,599 --> 01:04:38,400
of time. But thank you for wasting your time with us. Yes,

1349
01:04:39,679 --> 01:04:42,679
you should have probably done work. You're you know, getting

1350
01:04:42,719 --> 01:04:47,000
into the office. H you're way behind. You're trying to

1351
01:04:47,039 --> 01:04:50,639
catch up from the holidays. Fuck the boss, but you

1352
01:04:50,679 --> 01:04:54,599
know what, it's better to just kind of let us

1353
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:58,039
into your ears, into your brains and just kind of

1354
01:04:58,039 --> 01:05:01,280
cost for the next go ahead and listen to our

1355
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:04,119
back catalog as well. Kill the rest of the day

1356
01:05:04,159 --> 01:05:10,320
with our show. And with that, I'm Damna Chester, he's

1357
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:12,400
Rob Fox and you just got Sauser