Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice,
mix in some vodka. Color A podcast from the Mac
of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor
Chrysler Dots jeep Ram. It's Billified, The Bill Moran Podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome, whoa, Thanks for getting your pot on,
Thanks for telling a friend. That's how we spread the word,
one person at a time. Tucky fresh in.
Speaker 3: The house, in the house, baby did my mic on?
Speaker 2: Yout perked up? Yeah?
Speaker 3: It's showtime?
Speaker 4: What's the matter? What you need is your mic on?
Speaker 2: Yes? Can you hear yourself?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: A little louder if you want? Okay, do you need
a little louder?
Speaker 3: Maybe just a little? There we go, Yeah, some sense now,
I feel it.
Speaker 2: I feel the virus. Yeah, I feel the waves.
Speaker 4: That's days of excitement.
Speaker 2: I know. Doug is uh, you know.
Speaker 3: Not a morning person. I'm fine. I'm showtime. I got
stuff going on. I got a lot of stuff. This
is a busy time of year for me. Is that?
Speaker 4: Can you handle it?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: I've handled it for fifteen years.
Speaker 2: I just want to make sure you're all right.
Speaker 5: I got work, I got Billified, I got a golf tournament, Monday,
I'm doing my own golf tournament, as you know.
Speaker 4: Uh huh yeah, got all your stuff.
Speaker 3: Going on, and put all my ducks in the row.
I got a cat, I tell you. Yeah, yeah, Rosie,
like a whole lot of rosie. That's the only reason
I took the cat. It was Bob would be like
the care Rosie.
Speaker 2: Cat's doing good? Cat is warming up, is it? Yes,
you didn't lose the cat. You were worried that you
couldn't find the cat. Somebody sent me a picture of
you surrounded by thousands of kitts after that.
Speaker 3: Damn ai.
Speaker 5: I want to say, yeah, yeah, well they can't gotta
get used to the place.
Speaker 3: Just let it go till it warms.
Speaker 4: Up to you and it's all good.
Speaker 3: Yes, all right, it's a fat cat. It's a big,
fair kitty cat.
Speaker 4: Really, it seems.
Speaker 3: Like exactly, it's we know, an exercise.
Speaker 5: The cant three four times a day, like you can't
a little fisky feast things nothing size, yeah, like a
stuff mushroom.
Speaker 4: I think that would tell you differently.
Speaker 5: Whatever, No, if I can't find the cat for a month,
then I'll start to worry. So the cat last week
warming up? It was staying in the basement. My mom
had some comforters and laying on there.
Speaker 3: Just let it go.
Speaker 5: Can't force an animal to love your like you r whatever.
Just like so last week I hear the bell and
it jumped on the bed trying to get on the
bed and miss calculated, and I hear the scratches on
my bo.
Speaker 3: Big fat cat fell on the floor, Like that's all right, try.
Speaker 5: Again, can't I hear it going downstairs? Next night she
got an angle and uh, she's sleeping with me. Really yeah, wow,
look at very lovable. Yeah, that's one reason I took
the cat. I knew they can't prior and then somebody
else took it. She had a boatload of animals. Wasn't
getting along If you don't.
Speaker 3: Take it, I gotta take it.
Speaker 2: A lollipop farm.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, it's a very nice cat.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you got it.
Speaker 3: So I took it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the U.
Speaker 3: I guess it's kind of a rescue, but I mean it's.
Speaker 4: Kind of nice. You got pushy in your bed every now.
Speaker 3: Old pussy too.
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, that's your style. Something broken in that's the
greatest thing in the world right now. And yeah that
pur box roll Oh, the pur box.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh, I think I'm going to use that, and now.
Speaker 2: That's your pur bus. The mud whistle, yes, well, be
careful with the mud whistle. Some people aren't mud whistle people.
You're right, some people are not, and some people just
love yes because I I I have been.
Speaker 4: I don't want to say too much, but I have.
Speaker 5: Hey, do you like pepperoni and your pizza? And do
you take it in the ass. It's a tough one
to conversation.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Here's the story.
Speaker 4: I don't sneak into the conversation.
Speaker 5: I saw a friend Melissa, and years ago we were
hanging out for summer for whatever. He's cold check. I
still see her out Melissa. I don't give her last name,
but the expression it is what it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate that you do. Yeah, well, I understand.
Speaker 3: This is about nine years ago, and it was it
is what it is, Yeah, it is what it is.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 5: And I'm walking down the bar and there's two girls
and a guy and they're playing the Mega touch machine
and I hear it our tender hears he goes, well
do you do anal whoa? And she goes, well, it
is what it is.
Speaker 2: It is what it is. Okay, it is what it is,
and I got it. Yeah. I've been given the checkered flag,
and I've been given the fucking.
Speaker 5: Hard stock, the red flag. You're you're, I've been told Watkins, glennim.
Speaker 3: Red flag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, be careful down there.
Speaker 4: It could be sometimes you can get a little messy
all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: That doesn't get messy, well, not with me. I've heard stories,
but I've never had that happen, Thank goodness. Maybe you have.
Speaker 2: I haven't had anything, Doug. I just talk a big
game and do anything. Speaking that, I did see a
story about a couple in Brazil, Brazil. Yeah, so I
always wonder is this real? But according to CNN Brazil,
they were having sex in a car, in a car
up on a beautiful ledge.
Speaker 3: When's the last time you did six in the car?
Speaker 4: Tuesday?
Speaker 3: You did that? It don't make cars big enough? You
have sex?
Speaker 2: You rain drover a bus hers. I don't uh. When
was the last time I had sex in the car?
I don't know.
Speaker 3: And i'd have to think about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah I have yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean sex, sex, not just fooling around kissing good night,
but you know, close off yeah, yeah, fogged windows?
Speaker 2: Is it?
Speaker 3: What did they fog up?
Speaker 2: Do they fog up? If you're doing it right, If
you're doing it, that's right. If you're doing it right,
they can all right. So but this couple, it was
a forty two year old woman with her twenty six
year old boyfriend. Way to go.
Speaker 6: Yeah, buddy came and went.
Speaker 2: They they were inside the car and they were banging
so hard that it went over the tip of this
rock like they were up on a three hundred, probably
looking at the stars. They're getting going, the motion's going.
Whatever happened, this vehicle fell another thousand feet. Her naked
body or his naked body was found. He happens to
be the father of a four year old and then
she was found in the car by firefighters. But they yeah,
they both were both dead. No dead, well, yeah, turned
fatal rocking motion from the romps sent the vehicle plunging
over a remote cliff in Brazil.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't believe it. An e motion in the ocean.
Speaker 3: Well, was she cheating in him?
Speaker 2: Or Okay, hang on now, was she cheating on?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Was she cheating with him? You mean, because that's exactly
what I thought was who I don't know, because a
forty two year old with a twenty six year.
Speaker 3: Old in the car, how heavy were they?
Speaker 2: They didn't, they didn't look heavy. Who knows what kind
of car it was? Who knows if he hit the
who knows? I don't know.
Speaker 3: Maybe you know, well, okay, you let the car run in.
He's in the driver's seat, yes, and she's on top
of a Yes, he could hit the game.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what could happen. And she could
hit the you know, or.
Speaker 5: The emergency brake. Yeah, or if it's an automatic, you
got to put it in the show.
Speaker 3: All right. That's how Hu Grant.
Speaker 5: That's how Hugh Grant got caught getting his blow jab
yeah Di vine Brown right, because she was giving him
flatio and his muscles. He kept hitting the brake like yep,
radically capsuling.
Speaker 3: What's wrong with that car? Like everything are in there?
Oh my goodness, can you step out of the car, sir?
Speaker 2: Now, let me ask you this. Sure? Does danger make
sex more exciting?
Speaker 4: You're up?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, right, and.
Speaker 3: I almost getting caught is more excited?
Speaker 2: Okay almost?
Speaker 3: That's not for sake dangerous? No, if it's naughty.
Speaker 2: Or yeah, a little voyeuristic. Yeah, yeah, sure did you.
Because I'm thinking about this, I thought this had to
be a cheating couple as well, because who's forty two
and twenty six and have sex in the car. The
only way you're having sex in the car is two
ways that I can think of. You're cheating and you
have nowhere else really to go. Or you are a
divorce a and you're both and you have kids at home,
so you can't go home place to go, They have
no place to go, so you kind of go back
to you know, all of a sudden, you know, you're
you're having a couple of cocktails, the conversation's going, well,
you're into each other. You go out and.
Speaker 4: The next thing you know, bam bam.
Speaker 2: Not that I have anything, but I just, uh, you've
never Yeah. No. The other thing is semi public spaces
having sex and semi public spaces is You're right, there
is a little bit of that that does add some fun, right,
a little danger to it.
Speaker 5: I think that's becoming more of a common thing, people
getting cut having sex.
Speaker 2: Really Yeah, why do you say that.
Speaker 5: I've seen some news reports, seen some videos. People are
just doing it to do it to be Yeah, It's
like it's the same thing as people on the motorcycles
doing wheelies down lyle Avenue just to be seen.
Speaker 2: Just many years ago. I remember this. I'm going to
go back like fifteen years There was a woman in Batavia.
Her last name was Corona, if I remember, just remember
that being the name, and probably because.
Speaker 3: Of Bureau, absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 2: And she was in a park with a dude and
they started banging under the pavilion on a picnic table,
and there were kids and people playing on the lady
ground and shit, that's bad. Cops got arrested. It's an exposure. Yeah,
I just I don't know. The novelty and sexual encounters,
that is an interesting thing.
Speaker 3: Well, obviously a car wash, try to get a quickie in.
Speaker 2: Never ever have I ever.
Speaker 3: Dressing room, wade, second time out. This is all new
to you.
Speaker 2: Hang on you never, huh have you done?
Speaker 3: I can't say anything.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: You know, David? Are you paying like to s down, David?
Speaker 2: David, you would want to know?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2: Wait, the car.
Speaker 5: There's stuff you share with your parents, there's stuff you
share with friends, and.
Speaker 2: Then there's stuff you say in a podcast and nobody cares.
I want the car wash? Really?
Speaker 3: Well, you only have yea and a half?
Speaker 2: Yeah, more oral then okay? Yeah? Yeah, all right, wow
clean your car, you're clean your clock?
Speaker 3: Yeah, even if you don't finish this or.
Speaker 4: What rise of the clock?
Speaker 3: And doc?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And then wait a seton in a in a
store in a department store dressing room. Yeah, okay, I've
never done that. No, no, no, how do you go
find me?
Speaker 3: Shorts? You like? She can she come in here? Because
I don't want to come out. I'm embarrassed. Yeah, go ahead,
Oh I don't I don't want to come out. Yeah,
but I don't want to model. We can she come
and see?
Speaker 2: You got to be really quiet? Huh Yeah, well.
Speaker 5: You put the shorts in her mouth, get a beg
of sacks. Yeah, you have to be quiet.
Speaker 2: Now here's the thing though, Okay, that's so that's you
got to find somebody who's.
Speaker 3: Just on the same page.
Speaker 2: Yeah, willing to be risky.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Risk But I think that you can. I think you
can persuade if you can.
Speaker 3: A little bit.
Speaker 5: Yeah, some some women you just know there And I
don't want to say prude because it's a bedroom word.
I mean they're they're uh privacy, you know in the
bedrooms where it's captain in the house. But I don't know,
it depends. I mean, I've worked in bars most of
my life. I've seen some stuff, I've done some stuff. Yeah,
I can't say it, you know, but let's try this.
Speaker 2: Thell and partying, I think leads to sometimes risky behavior, right. Adrenaline, Yes,
so you mix alcohol, partying and adrenaline, so everything's up,
You're happy, you're feeling good, you're you know, you're invincible,
You're invincible.
Speaker 3: And the next thing, you know, unless you have too
much alcoholic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that all influences risky behavior. Absolutely.
Speaker 5: Yeah, when the call of the wild comes, don't let
me go, don't let it go to voicemail. And I've
done that sometimes.
Speaker 4: What do you mean, just what's the call of the
wild that's come down?
Speaker 3: I can do this right now. I'm like, oh gosh.
There was a time in the Blue Room, I had
two girls in the bandroom downstairs.
Speaker 5: It was a full bar, and I had a trainee
on and I had to get back up there.
Speaker 2: Where's the no.
Speaker 5: It was in the Rochester really to to that's when
I should have just forgotten the upstairs, you know, but
being responsible had to go up there. It was a
full bar. She didn't know what she was doing. I'm like,
I got, you know, duty to do and just you know,
I was running it and I like, but yeah, I
remember that like it was yesterday. I ran into one
of the girls. A couple of years later she had
She goes.
Speaker 2: Remember me.
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, blue room in the bathroom. I do. Yeah,
it was? It was extra Was it a B TB?
I think it was bTB? When I how long is yeah?
That opened?
Speaker 4: Wait you did this?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: It was who was the place before bTB? But that's
where I ran into a couple of years there, and
I think she was pregnant with her boyfriend and asked
me if I remember, and I'm like, I don't she
remember the blue room in the bathroom?
Speaker 3: Now I do? Yeah, just give me a couple of
details and yeah, oh yeah. And I'm like, uh, you know, wow,
So yeah, you wanted to write it like a book? No, no, no,
what I just save it for the podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I appreciate that. Actually, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3: I couldn't tell you what they look like or their
names were, but could have happened, and I like, I
gotta be responded. I go to take care of this upstairs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, this is this is a woman and her friend? Yeah,
two women? Yeah? Were they making soon?
Speaker 3: I I don't. I cannot recall it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, because that's a that's a weird thing.
Speaker 3: Like you could have got a lot weird and a
lot better.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but yeah, I started.
Speaker 2: A lot of people have been talking about a Netflix
show called Hunting Wives, and there's a lot of nudity
and a lot of sex, and the women are having
sex with like one couple seems to have an open marriage,
but he wants to run for government.
Speaker 3: Is this reality or no.
Speaker 2: It's a scripted show. And I watched uh, like two
episodes and I go, this, this is gonna sound weird.
I go, this isn't a show for me. It's too dark.
It's too dark.
Speaker 4: There's like a murmur saying, like, I know, I don't
need that. I don't like it.
Speaker 2: If you like soap operas and things, it's well done.
It's got a lot of sex in it, a lot
of intrigue.
Speaker 4: There's a lot of you know, you can see like
they're sort.
Speaker 2: Of grooming this one woman to I don't know, to
have a threesome with this other couple, you know.
Speaker 4: Become the third in the thing. And it's just as
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm realizing as I get older, I some of
these things are just gonna it just it's too dark,
the story is too dark, and I'm just like, not
for me, not for me, but.
Speaker 5: The year away for the weekend drinking fifteen guinnesses. Yeah,
then you're part of the story.
Speaker 3: Is it happened?
Speaker 5: You know, I don't even know how it happened. That's
not usually so I happened. I don't even know what happened.
Making out with a girl. A girlfriend comes up, grabs
me and her. We're in this room, I don't know
who room it is, and next thing you know, we're
naked and somebody knocking on the door.
Speaker 3: I don't know what the fuck is going on. So
what happened? I I don't know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, put my pants on and went back to the party,
you know, ship like the head sometimes.
Speaker 4: Never I've never been there.
Speaker 3: Stow, Stow, You've told me things off air, not like that, though,
I don't think I give the full story.
Speaker 2: You think I leave things.
Speaker 3: Know ever a marathon, you're the starting line, you're the
finish landing. So what happened?
Speaker 5: But I was running? You know it was a marathon.
Was well, you didn't stafford last while?
Speaker 3: I had water? Yeah, you know, four hours? That was it. Yeah,
it's gotta be more of that marathon.
Speaker 4: Oh, we will take a moment.
Speaker 2: I like this. I like Dougie would I liked I
like an early doug I'm.
Speaker 3: Still drunk from last night. I knew it, how fuckingw it?
Speaker 2: Fucking knew it, fucking knew it. God damn David, did
you hear that?
Speaker 3: I can do it?
Speaker 2: Oh, buddy, we will take a moment. Lots of things.
Maybe we do a little Dougie.
Speaker 3: Fresh questions, Sure you don't like Dougie Fast questions, the.
Speaker 4: Tails from the strip. We'll get into that.
Speaker 2: We'll do that right after this MJ Dispensary Summer Smoke
Sash twenty twenty five. This isn't just another Saturday. It's
the Saturday you've been waiting for. Saturday, August sixteenth, just
days away. Beginning at one o'clock in the afternoon and
going through seven pm at nine hundred Jefferson Road in
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your good vibes, because the entire neighborhood is getting in
on the fun. We're talking blue toed sidery, crisp cold
and dangerously simpable cider, palmers, eat so good you're gonna
be questioning your life choices in the best way. And
MJ Dispensary's vendors from the Gummy Geniuses to the pre
roll pros and our favorite stone guys who literally turn
rocks into smokable art. Well, you can't smoke the rock,
but you can anyway. You'll figure it out, and yes
they rock. Whether you're there for the flavors, the gear,
or just to bask in that hazy summer glow. This
is the event you want to be at MJ Dispensary
Summer Smoke Slash twenty twenty five. Good buds, good food,
good times. See you this Saturday at one. Bring your vibe,
we'll bring the rest. We're the Two Fit Chicks.
Speaker 7: Hey, I'm Jojo, I'm Rebecca, and we have a podcast
called The Two Fit Chicks and teak about fashion, fitness,
beauty and all between. Yeah, all types of life. You
will change your life. Wherever you get your pot on
join us Jojo and Rebecca Yay and smokes on two
Fit Chicks.
Speaker 3: So is on.
Speaker 2: Well. Hello, my chicken wing lovers and food fanatics. I
want to tell you about a gem right in the
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about mouth watering dishes like they're grilled salt and pepper
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with a tantalizing tomato, bacon chutney and balsamic glaze. Doesn't
that sound amazing?
Speaker 4: There's more.
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and we mean true connoisseur, they're gonna be in heaven.
My fourteen year old son swears these are some of
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Speaker 6: Alright, ladies and gentlemen. In is session number two. Making
it happen out here in Fairport. I'm the only the
hipshakeging money making Tower of power Man to the Hour
twenty four seven, Dougie Fresh right next to me.
Speaker 8: The Points Extra Podcast, The Admiral, the Airwaves, your favorite
of mass six foot two and as a Blue the One,
the Only mister Beer morand.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: I was trying to find the right song and I
that's what would take it.
Speaker 3: Well, I gotta be making money of this. I mean
just for introduction.
Speaker 2: Yes, why why are we doing I'll.
Speaker 3: Just introduce shit weddings. I'll just come in and introduce
you one hundred bucks take off.
Speaker 2: You want cameo cameo?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: You know where people?
Speaker 3: Yes, I know what a cameo is.
Speaker 2: No, you know, like the B celebrities. You can send
a message, right the B celebrities. Well it's like, yes,
it's probably mostly be celebrities. I would think on there,
but not necessarily. And you can have them send a
message to like your dad for his birthday. You know, hey,
Dave Elvis or whatever you know con yes, exactly.
Speaker 3: I never tolvs so the Beatles. The book fell on
my head the other day. I can only blame my shelf.
Speaker 4: The uh but you could do that.
Speaker 2: But you get out there and people do an intro,
you know, Dougie Fresh intros. Get a Dougie Fresh intro.
What would you charge twenty five bucks? One hundred bucks
in intro? I think you get more twenty five bucks
an intro. You can probably knock out a bunch of them. Yeah,
could we just get one equals to four?
Speaker 3: You know what? Got to know you're worth sometimes.
Speaker 4: I understand, I just I just get.
Speaker 3: Nobody does it like me?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: No, you don't know anybody else that does that like me?
Do you?
Speaker 2: Uh no?
Speaker 4: Most people outgrows.
Speaker 9: Ah, you love it, baby, I do.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, because you are you've been a strip
club DJ. Yeah, and you still do DJ work. Oh yeah,
you know weddings and funerals.
Speaker 3: Did I tell you this story? Two years ago? It
was at a bar and I knew the bar owner
and he comes running up.
Speaker 5: He goes and it was a celebration life and the
DJ was just just playing background music, right, that's it.
Nothing under mic, know nothing, no introductions.
Speaker 3: And he runs up to me.
Speaker 5: He goes, you're never gonna believe that this fucking guy
is getting I go, don't tell me. He goes, four
hundred dollars an hour. It Google advertisement. This woman's father died,
shouldn't know anything about DJs. Types up DJs for service. Yeah,
called him, this is my price. She said, Okay, that
was as quick as a way. For four hours he
made sixteen hundred dollars. Okay, yeah, wow, Yeah, Well know
you're worth know you're worth yep or take the chance.
Yeah right, even if you get one a year, it's
gonna make up for doing three shows.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there are some terrible There are some bad
DJs out there.
Speaker 2: What would be a bad DJ?
Speaker 3: I'll give you some examples.
Speaker 5: And this is stuff I've been hearing from a couple
of brides that I've met. Now I get this couple
weddings a year, two three, and they're usually from references
or they hear me do the voice of the bar
or comedy, and uh, you know what else you do?
I'm like, I do podcasts, a bartend, I uber, I
do weddings. Weddings, Yeah, every now and then if I
sit down and you know, the DJs don't take their music,
don't take the brides music. Yeah, okay, you can pick
ten songs, twenty songs. I'll take care of the rest.
So what they're doing is they're just coming in with
their laptop and hitting play and whatever's coming up comes up.
So they're not really organized and what's going on. They
love the wedding planner, do it? Hey, we're doing this
now and they're just playing music instead an there, so okay,
overcharging playing I saw this once playing line dance songs
right in a row, the Cuba shuffle, shatcha slide electric
side all four in a row.
Speaker 3: I kidding, I don't because if it's one of those things,
if nobody's dancing, there is something Well. When in Dowgo
disco country, you are.
Speaker 2: Reading the room absolutely, and that's the job, right, The
job is reading the room and trying to uh make people,
let people have fun.
Speaker 4: These are supposed to be fun things.
Speaker 2: Sometimes there are emotionally charged situations wedding weddings, which are
more of a happy occasion for most, but they're emotionally
charged and It depends on a whole lot of factors.
I would think in there, I.
Speaker 5: Just did a wedding and the groom was from Albania,
and uh, I couldn't find any music, so on YouTube
just saved them give me found him and had dinner
and then dancing started. I played a few songs and
I threw it out of Albania scenario. There was only
about seventeen people dancing. It was after dinner and people
are using through them and getting a new drink.
Speaker 2: Remember any of the songs I've never heard. I'm curious
what it is.
Speaker 3: I would not be able to tell you right now
off the top of my head. It was. They were
spelled like h j A kk E. I yeah it was.
Speaker 5: But the first song I played, ninety percent of everybody
got up, got in a circle and it was like
two rotating circles with the clapping area.
Speaker 3: It was great, and he.
Speaker 5: Goes, well, spread them out. But after the first one,
I'm like, this is what everybody wants. I played one
right after it. I was gonna play it through. One
of the bride comes up to me sweating stop.
Speaker 3: Yeah is that Albanian? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just giving you the top pop hips from
Albania in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just giving you the thing.
Speaker 3: But couple great.
Speaker 2: I can see a lot of energy, yes, long energy
in that music.
Speaker 3: And he said in Albania it's yeah higher bands. You
don't have a DJ okay yeah right, and I think
like two or three bands.
Speaker 2: See, oh really I forgot how it.
Speaker 3: Might be a two or three day wedding.
Speaker 2: Two or three day wedding.
Speaker 3: Yeah, some cultures.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 5: A party ceremony. Then you have the after party of
the next day one too, and it's all different outfits.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think it was Indian.
Speaker 2: That's him. That's that sounds fun. It's different, right, it's
different than one word as that sounds crazy.
Speaker 3: It's draining. It's a long weekend from I think I
was ubering people.
Speaker 2: Is there a song you've ever played that has completely
changed the mood of a room for better or worse.
Speaker 3: I'm sure there has been, but not nothing that you
can think of off the top of my head.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Did you ever save uh, let's say, when you were
a strip club DJ, do you ever save a dancer
from a customer who maybe is getting a little.
Speaker 3: No, it's a bouncer's job.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you don't know, not involved in that. I
think that you must have been able to change the
mood of a room seeing it kind of go down
and strip club. No, no, a wedding, Yeah, a wedding
went in doubt, go disco and everybody comes out for Disney.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, you know, if nobody's dancing to the.
Speaker 5: Wobble or the Wobble, you know, or any of the
new stuff out Bruno Mars or anything like that, then
go go older.
Speaker 3: What's the bob cer one?
Speaker 2: Old time rock and rock around? Oh god, that's the
one that gets every Aunt Millie's out there, and you
know what.
Speaker 5: Aunt Milly and this and ant that. At least you
got some people on a dance. Yeah, and you go
into then you go to disco and I, uh, top
six songs that I play for brides so they know
dancing Queen. I will survive. That's good at the end
of night because they're drinking and all the girls.
Speaker 3: First I was afraid, Yeah, I was petrified.
Speaker 5: We had them proud September. It's raining men, shake your booty,
Commodore's brick house and play that fucky music.
Speaker 2: White boy. Okay, those are the one, They're the ones
to get it out.
Speaker 5: The YMCA has not been played a lot, although I'm
gonna be playing a wedding.
Speaker 3: In October. I just went with a bride.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean it's a forty fifty year old song,
practically right, seventy six.
Speaker 5: But there it's her third wedding, it's his first. Oh
so yeah, oh yes.
Speaker 3: Oh god, dude, the other talking about buying a used car.
Speaker 6: I've got broken in Gosh, damn, she's a coddless now.
Speaker 2: I got a lot of Can I ask questions that way? Well,
I don't. I don't want to reveal anything.
Speaker 3: We're not going to say their names.
Speaker 4: How how old are they?
Speaker 3: I think he's a little younger. I think he's forty.
She's forty three.
Speaker 2: She's forty three. Yeah, and this is her third yeah wow.
And she thinks, okay.
Speaker 3: She thinks this is is well.
Speaker 2: I mean, here's the thing, like her exes are fucking
thrilled that she got remarried because they don't have to
pay as much. Then this is all the details. Fantastic,
This is fantastic. But I mean, was she a two
times widower, that would be different. You know, bad luck, right,
and then then that's yeah wow.
Speaker 3: But the third third.
Speaker 2: Told and she told you this, yeah yeah, okay, friend
of mine. Oh it's a friend of your yeah yeah yeah, okay, alright,
So because.
Speaker 3: I I said, well, how many prizes made you am?
Speaker 2: She goes eight. I go eight.
Speaker 3: I'm like, are you can he me for your second weddings?
Speaker 2: Third wedding?
Speaker 3: And that's what she said.
Speaker 5: And he goes and she goes, it's his first and
she and he goes it's her third.
Speaker 3: Oh man, okay wow. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like here's the thing.
Speaker 4: You fall in love, You fall in love, yeah right,
you kind of can't help who you.
Speaker 2: Fall in love with.
Speaker 5: And I'll say this, some people they get divorced twenty
years whatever years. They like being married. They like that that.
Speaker 2: I think that's a really big thing. I would think
more for men than women. But you think so, well,
here's what I'm I'm saying. I know guys who seem
to get right into a relationship after one, right right away.
Speaker 3: And I think I think it's a security thing.
Speaker 2: Well I think it is. And I see I'm not
a single.
Speaker 3: I was married. Now I get a girlfriend. I like girls.
Speaker 5: It's almost like that, it's almost a homo phobic thing
like you cannot be without a girlfriend.
Speaker 4: I didn't think about that.
Speaker 5: And some girls can't be without a guy. I've known
a few girls when they're tired of their boyfriend, they
will cheat on him, find another boyfriend, either get caught
or be like yeah, I'm leaving and just but they
always have that guy.
Speaker 3: They're never alone.
Speaker 5: And I'm talking like, yeah, if they do break up
or something, the argument and he leaves, within a week,
they've got another.
Speaker 3: And that's a long time. And that was a few
women that I've known throughout life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that could be true. I see guys.
Maybe it's more because I'm in a similar situation and
I look at things and I go, wow, you got
out of something. Wouldn't you give yourself a little breathing
absolutely to try to just figure things out.
Speaker 3: You were playing football, and football seasons over me. Try
hockey or golf for baseball.
Speaker 2: There's a lot more sports out there.
Speaker 5: There's just don't go right into another sport. I mean
take a couple of swings, I mean going a couple
of days. So they're like it's a hassle, probably because
they look at me like I don't want to wind
up like this lonely wow.
Speaker 4: Right, but I mean most people won't.
Speaker 2: Uh No, I think I think I'm on the problem.
Speaker 3: I'm reading the obituaries. Yeah, it's like my match.
Speaker 2: I uh. I always found that odd with guys who
did that, because I thought, you know, they're like, you're
already in a relationship and then you start hearing about them.
Speaker 4: She's paying the.
Speaker 2: But I think they like that. I think they like
having the person to complain about. And I think you
what happens is you wind up attracting the same type
of person. Yeah, right, so it used to it's different players,
same scenario.
Speaker 3: And I go, different players, same game.
Speaker 2: Right if it doesn't, if it didn't work out, well,
what what are you doing? And what did you learn
from that? And I think sometimes nothing, And I go,
that's why some people are on their third marriage. You
know what I'm saying, because it's the same thing. I
don't know. I mean, hey, look and there's you never
get it wrong. Just keep going, keep going.
Speaker 5: I mean, and now I mean we're twenty twenty five
hours over times years span of years. Things are different.
I mean you take it back to little house in Berry,
you had your bow you had your girlfriend and you
got married, and that was it till death through your part.
Now there's swingers, there's marriage or just shacking up. There's
a there's for open marriage. What's the one you legalized partnership?
Which is for insurance purposes, so if we get divorced,
you're not taking anything. And that's more for insurance, health insurance.
If you have a better plan than I. But I
don't want to be married. I don't want to say
i' married. Is why you're assurance, you know what I mean.
There's more, there's options.
Speaker 2: Why did you marry? She had great insurance?
Speaker 3: Exactly?
Speaker 2: It's amazing, right, Oh.
Speaker 5: I have a girlfriend, a friend as a girl. She
just wants to marry somebody. You give me somebody with
a great health plan, I'll marry him.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's paying like eight hundred dollars a month in insurance,
which is crazy.
Speaker 4: It is crazy. It's that, it is crazy.
Speaker 2: I never thought of that, just getting married for the
health plan or whatever.
Speaker 3: I always think to myself state workers, everything's paid for.
If you work in a school district for a certain
number of years, your set.
Speaker 4: But I often think that, like.
Speaker 3: Who needs love?
Speaker 5: You need lust? You need the time at J. C.
Penny's dressing room. Would just kind of play a little bit,
even if you just.
Speaker 3: Kissing, Well, I think you have to, mean you don't
have to go full out, bend over screaming against the wall,
bag and out there come on baby, But I mean.
Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa? My god?
Speaker 5: Ask but I mean from this, lift this a little
bit when you're in a crowded elevator. Yeah, and just
kind of pollur panties downe just a little.
Speaker 2: Really get this, this is this is Dougie's.
Speaker 5: Just a little that car Idol's baby. Before you take
it for a drive, it warm up, just like.
Speaker 3: In the winter.
Speaker 2: Just kind of try. We got to get the oil
on the path, get.
Speaker 3: The fire, then get that heartbeating baby.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, love tips from Dougy fresh, take it from
a single man.
Speaker 3: Where's what's the mailry chick?
Speaker 2: What do we doing this day? I apologize that whole
thing fell apart. Yeah, yeah, we need to make that happen.
I know we do, and and we can.
Speaker 4: We can't.
Speaker 3: I can checked up her skirt and doing anything like that.
Speaker 2: Oh I think that if I think that's what happens
in a marriage. And I always found this very interesting
because I do. And I interviewed this one and I
saw her on TikTok, and then I had her on
the podcast. I don't remember what episode it is, but
if you go back into the bilified archive, she can
find it. And this woman is in an open marriage
and very attractive. I have a friend who hates the
word attractive when I applied to women. But I often
think you're a woman, and you're not a little girl,
so I'm not gonna call you pretty, and you know,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: But I'm definitely better adjectives.
Speaker 5: I guess she's hot. Well you know what hot doesn't.
I'll tell you hot does not turn into alluring. Alluring
is the older woman and very alluring. She's not hot,
but the hot chick is not turning into alluring when
she hits seventy. You're like, yeah, but alluring alluring is that?
Speaker 3: To me?
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, well, okay, there's.
Speaker 3: A lifetime of beauty there.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say that this woman's attractive and and
she's uh, looks like the all American woman, you know
what I mean, and middle age in her forties keeps
yourself in good shape. Uh, not overly done up, just
kind of you know, a farm.
Speaker 3: Girl next door with the overalls where tits are it.
Speaker 2: Could be that.
Speaker 4: Fuck yeah, okay, sign me up.
Speaker 2: There we go.
Speaker 3: Overall God's lingerie, man, I'm telling you, because those snaps
come off and it's fucking gig.
Speaker 2: What is going on in your head? What is wrong
with you? My god? I mean, I'm bringing a lot
to the tail. Overall sales are through the roof.
Speaker 5: Yes, the overalls are the hottest thing. You think, better
than fishnet stockings for me thigh?
Speaker 2: And really, oh yeah?
Speaker 3: Is it getting down in dirty bill? Overall, she's just
coming in from the now.
Speaker 2: I have heard a woman say she's over forty, Why
is she still wearing overalls?
Speaker 4: I've heard that said by a woman.
Speaker 5: Really, uh huh, that's that she wants to milk a cow.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me go back to the open marriage. Go ahead,
and I'm going to go back to your theory. This
will be, this will be, this will this will kind
of summarize what you were trying to say.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can do this, Go ahead, audience.
Speaker 2: So this woman talked about being in an open marriage,
and I thought women to me, are just smarter emotionally
more intelligent than men.
Speaker 4: They just are throughout your life.
Speaker 2: You can say men are smarter, women smart well, but
when it comes to emotional intelligence, women are. Their IQ
is off the chart. This woman said, I'm in an
open marriage and I my husband and I communicate very
very well. But here's what I like about going on
a date. When I go on a date with my
husband and we have children and they do, she said,
everything becomes almost like the infrastructure of the house, the
scheduling of the kids. Every conversation comes to, hey, you
know you're gonna get you gonna get Doug from wrestling
practice this week. And I'm and she's like, when I
go on a date with somebody, there's none of that.
They're interested in me. I get to talk about a
book I read. I get to talk about a movie
or a documentary that I really like to see, and
I get to know the and it's completely different. And
I thought, Wow, that to me is so eye opening,
and every guy should pay attention to that. To exactly
what you're saying, Keep it fresh, keep it fresh, because
we get tired of the person and we got this
shit to do. We got that shit to do what
I got, But think back, what what brought you guys
together to begin with? And if it was right then
it could be right now, if you you know. And
that's why I I if I wind up in relationships,
I always think, make it fun. The fuck is the
point of if it's not fun?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 2: And yes I am stand that things go through. You know,
have a I guess a life cycle, so to speak.
But you know, even in the dull time, pick it up,
you know, being to do the things you watch on
TV or seeing movies.
Speaker 5: And I've suggested a friends they thought the.
Speaker 3: Life was stagnant.
Speaker 2: Marriage.
Speaker 5: I'm like Google, Like I google stuff for bowling tournament,
golf tournament, trying to get some new idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: You know, if I see a basket, I got lott
of baskets from Google, I.
Speaker 2: Want to see that. Google search, Google Search. You know what,
We're going to take a moment and I'm going to
pump you into top ten things. I'm going to go
to Google ways to spice up my marriage, and I'm
going to go to Chat GPT ways to spice up
my marriage chat PTT Chat GPT, the artificial intelligence. Okay,
all right, Yeah, we'll see what those are. I think
that's a Really you're surprising me today. You're bringing insight,
you're bringing knowledge, you're bringing life extra you're asking me
before that.
Speaker 6: I'm just sitting here and no, you seeamed upsets and
I'm concerned. As a game time, I'm I'm starting into
my game mode for Billified. Baby, I'm bringing the thunder
and I'm looking at the lightning. You know what I'm
talking about is Dougie Fresh him shake your money making
tire power better than the morning sex.
Speaker 3: Dougie motherfucking fresh in the house.
Speaker 4: Whoa, And that's why you single.
Speaker 2: Have you been to Leo's Bakery and Deli in East
Rochester recently? Oh?
Speaker 4: You gotta get there.
Speaker 2: They're open every day so it's very convenient. It'll satisfy
your sweet tooth, your sandwich cravings. Get the Cubano. Tell
them Bilified said to have the Cubano sandwich, fresh baked bread,
hand crafted pastries, deli favorites, and desserts like Canol's that'll
make your rethink your self control. It's all waiting for you.
So what's the best thing about Leo's Everything? Check them out.
A deskbats drive in East Rochester because every day is
a good day for Leo's, because the best thing about
Leo's is everything. Hey man, it's Bill. I just want
to encourage you to check out the MJ Dispensary podcast,
available wherever you get your pot or pod on. We've
got stories, laughs, and a little something for everyone who
loves great conversation. And hey, if you'd like to become
a supporter of the Pirate Ship and help keep us afloat,
there's a link in the description of this episode. Thanks
for telling a friend. That's how we spread the word.
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Speaker 4: Come on, Frank sing it to.
Speaker 3: Me, Lovevan Marriage, Love Van Marriage, which was a twenty
one you run. I think the longest running shows have
run without the and you.
Speaker 5: Wonder why did the Fox didn't have anything else or
people just relate to that and thought it was funny
with the naughty humor and the maybe.
Speaker 3: A little bit of it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it was.
Speaker 3: And it wasn't ground in the.
Speaker 2: Family without the politics. Yeah, you know, and it was
just this, you know, I mean guy, Yeah, she was
actually and also a great actor, right, great actor because
uh they they got him for a modern family and
he was fantastic and then he's in Uh Fox.
Speaker 4: Must have loved him.
Speaker 2: FX did a whole thing on forgetting the name of
the owner of the l A Clippers who made a
racist statement in his home taped by a black woman
who he was sort of dating outside of his marriage,
and he lost the team, and they do a whole
they did a movie on it, and he's the lead.
Speaker 3: I didn't see that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what does you say, O'Neill, O'Neill and O'Neill. Yeah,
a great actor, you like, really good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's done movies and yeah sure.
Speaker 2: But that role was just like perfect and it almost
seemed to fit his personality. I don't think he was
that way, but you know the hand down the pants,
watching the sports, the old uh all this ship got
the hot daughter that comes down and says right yes.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and in the sudden they can't get laid.
Speaker 2: And by the way, she uh, the wife, what's her name?
She's great actress, Yes, played so many great roles.
Speaker 5: I'd have to look it up. She uh, she did
a bankrupt bankup singer for Bette Midler.
Speaker 4: Didn't know that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then she got into acting. She was dating.
She was on Sons of Anarchy. Yeah, I did see
that her husband was the originator.
Speaker 4: Of Son's anarchy. Right, and then she also she's done many.
Speaker 3: Others can't Griffin that.
Speaker 2: No, it's Kathy's something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: Doug was talking to we somehow spicing up relationship, yes, right,
And Doug gave a scenario like telling your skirt and
pick her panties in an elevator.
Speaker 3: You're gonna try that.
Speaker 5: You sure are knowing that you're saying it ten minutes
after I brought it up.
Speaker 3: It's on your because it's hot. Yeah, it's on your mind.
Speaker 4: Now, Yes, it is on my mind.
Speaker 3: I just don't pick him up. I'm stop when you
hear it. When you hear the stop that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's all right.
Speaker 2: So I I typed into Google waste it's to spice
up my marriage, And what they came back with very
quickly was prioritizing quality time. Boo, this is all marriage
counseling shit, communicating openly and introducing new and exciting experiences Okay, yeah,
which right, uh and then then they give you like
articles fun ideas to spice up my marriage from Reddit.
We could that's that could be interesting, so we've asked.
So we've been married twenty years and we've always had
a pretty good sex life until the last couple of years.
That is, basically our routine has become him falling asleep
on the couch after dinner and me feeling super frustrated
and either exercising or giving in and masturbating by myself. Hey,
now that's what it says, I'm Reddit. Sounds like he's
got a low libido or low energy. I think encouraging
him to go to the gym with you or even
taking a walk after dinner would wake him up. Okay,
hide a pair of panties or a bra around the
house with a note that says when you find these,
come and have me.
Speaker 4: Okay, now we're playing a game. No, I'm that's hide
and seek, said the top ten.
Speaker 2: No, this this is from Reddit, right, this is from Reddit.
Speaker 3: Because while you were on your laptop by you.
Speaker 2: Looked at stuff, and I looked to get to JAPT
because I did it.
Speaker 3: I looked up top ten ways to spice up your marriage.
Speaker 5: Yeah, sexually, Okay, I got that. So number one we
have I.
Speaker 2: Wanted to see without sexually because I wanted to see
what they would.
Speaker 3: Switch up positions. One of the easiest quickest.
Speaker 5: Ways to spice up your sex life switching up positions.
And you ever like the hieroglyphics, I mean they tried
everything back.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, uh, try.
Speaker 5: Light spanking now. I do not like to be spanked.
On the other hand, I like it's coming out from
buff yo. And make sure when you spank that you
rub your hand and like a massage. Otherwise it burns
a little bit.
Speaker 4: No, no, let it burn.
Speaker 3: A woman told me that likes being spank but rub
it in a little bit. I don't. Yes, especially with
your gorilla figures. I can palm a basketball and your
ass at the same time. You think anybody's masturbating this
right now?
Speaker 2: Not until Tuesday?
Speaker 5: Sorry if you masturbated this colin five five five three
book a hotel stay vacation is good, especially for those
who long term relation, but just get away.
Speaker 3: Yeah, spice it a little uh. Number four, bring in the.
Speaker 5: Sex toys yea toys plural. Yeah, to add even more
flavor your sex life. Ask your partner if they might
be up for using some sex toys together.
Speaker 3: Number five.
Speaker 5: Play a sex related game like you were just saying,
hiding panties something, Start sexting.
Speaker 2: It's called when You're away.
Speaker 5: Dirty talk is a perfect way to spice up your
sex life, especially if your long distance relationship. Try a
bit of role playing. Yeah, yeah, dressed up like Captain
Kirk hat, your body green, let's get it on.
Speaker 4: Somebody has a fantasy.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, curate a sex playlist and like my
music playlist, hopefully not a c d Z H add
food in the mix. Now, I will tell you. Yeah,
and this was years ago.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't wait to hear this all right, going.
Speaker 5: Down to a girl on the couch, grabbing her wine,
taking a mouthful, then.
Speaker 3: Right in the right there. Yeah, and.
Speaker 5: It's cold, it's the heat, and it's steamy, snakes and lingere.
Speaker 2: Doug, what's this fun? Right? Did you bring a fog
machine in?
Speaker 3: I am a fog machine. No snags some.
Speaker 5: Snag some ldre buying landree is very It's gonna get
you some a little bit of some you think, so, Yeah, well,
I'll let you get the wrong size.
Speaker 2: I wrote give me five unique ways to spice up
a marriage, and so I want to keep it generic.
To see what chat chpt would say, switch rolls for
the day, trade your usual household for or relationship roles
for twenty four hours. If one normally plans meals, let
the other. Yeah, design a relationship bucket list together. Okay,
that could be something that is even beyond the bedroom,
a little bit like let's go places, wine taste, Let's go.
Speaker 5: I want to see travel, big goal. I want to
see the Grand Canyon. I want to see Big Ben. Yeah,
you want to see Big Ben. Get on your fucking knees.
Speaker 4: I want to see Grand Canyon.
Speaker 2: I think I've been down there, were going a bit.
Jesus Christ, let's save your money. Go in the bedroom. Yeah,
host a two person theme night. Pick a theme like
a Paris cafe, tropical island, nineties nostalgia and commit costumes, music, food,
and maybe even accents.
Speaker 4: Okay, if I got buzzed enough, where's.
Speaker 2: The special guest?
Speaker 3: I would what she would have been right? Oh, she
would have been perfect for this.
Speaker 4: Do you think so?
Speaker 2: I know?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 2: All right, we'll go track her down if you I
don't think she has time, she's got kids and stuff.
It's a friend, it's someone I.
Speaker 4: Know who's coming out of yoga.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I can't love this stuff.
Speaker 2: Would you do a theme night like a Paris cafe?
Like all of a sudden, put a hell, my little cupcake,
my little French pastry. I used to so I when
I when I was uh, for one summer, I stayed
with my uncle in Park City and I was a waiter.
I was a terrible waiter, but I was a waiter.
And there was a girl there from France and she
liked me and I used to always do my pepe
leap and I think that's why she really but I.
Speaker 4: Didn't like her.
Speaker 2: I liked her French friend, a little.
Speaker 3: Blonde they say it uh huh, and we have the
win and where I were gets his managiatoir.
Speaker 2: So I liked her friend. She was this little blonde
French girl and she was a nanny for a family.
And the guy had an eight car garage and he
had oh yeah, but he had like all the toys, right, So.
Speaker 3: I wait, toys are toys? I know you're yes, yes.
Speaker 2: Yes, so he so I would go over and like
look around at the cars and stuff and uh, and
then I asked her out when we went out to dinner,
but nothing ever really happened. I was so disappointed. But
she giggled a lot, she had a lot of fun.
But I would always drop my dumb peppy lipu. I
was twenty one years old. He was like, Hello, this
is all I have. This is all I got, But
a theme night could actually you know, grash skirt.
Speaker 3: It's fun to dress up. I mean there's Halloween.
Speaker 2: Yeah, huge, No, I hate Halloween.
Speaker 4: I'm kind of lame like that.
Speaker 5: And I think Halloween in June and you dress up
and yeah, you put your overalls on your farmer dell,
you bring in the pitchfork, you want to plow the field.
Speaker 3: Cheer gonna dress up like a cheerleads be the coach.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna lift you up. Well I'm gonna be the bottom.
Speaker 5: That would be, you know, Becky, You're not gonna make
the cheerleader. Mister Moran, Is there anything I can do
and you can blow?
Speaker 2: There's a whole series of Ford called Coach PERV. No really, yes,
I've never seen it. You've never seen coach? Do you
know coach PERV?
Speaker 10: Now?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there is it's called coach PERV. I found
a friend of mine when I was on the radio
told us about it, and we used to laugh our
assides off because it's the guy. He would come out
like the tight shorts, the mustache, and it was the
same thing. Becky, You're not gonna make you stole that
line coach perv. Of course, I did Surprise storytelling game.
Each of you writes three what if scenarios on slips
of paper, romantic, adventurous, or absurd, and you take turns
drawing one to improvise.
Speaker 4: A short story together.
Speaker 2: This spark's great to plan a mystery date, but in reverse,
one partner secretly plans a date, but instead of telling
the other where you're going, you give them crypto clues
throughout the day.
Speaker 4: That could be kind of fun, you know.
Speaker 3: Unless she's an idiot she winds up in Buffalo.
Speaker 2: No, but what I'm saying, no, Well, a clue would
be like this, like the hiding the panties. Leave out
an outfit for her and go have this on and
be ready by five. You know, it's a little excitement, right,
you know what I mean? That's right, panty drop baby.
I think that would be that's these are great, great
advice though, right, you.
Speaker 5: Know, if I remember in a relationship longer than three weeks, definitely.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well maybe we would make it go six. You
might double your length. I don't know about like oh
oh okay, well I'm just saying. I'm just saying, like maybe, right,
maybe you get who knows, who knows, take.
Speaker 3: Her to a baseball game, hockey game. You know they win.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know, pick a team, maybe trying to
go up into the empty part of the stadium.
Speaker 3: Yes, the sweets, let's go up sweets just quick.
Speaker 2: Little yeah, little banging and see that's all putting it on. Well,
I guess that's pretty good. That's what else you gonna have?
You know, what do you what do you?
Speaker 4: What do you really have?
Speaker 2: Right? What separates one relationship from the other. You're having
sex with somebody, you're not having sex with the other person,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Like, well, some people are more adventurous. That's the word
I was thinking about. Yes, yes, that's the call of
the while, right.
Speaker 4: I think that you.
Speaker 2: Can get women to be adventurous. I think they want
to be I think they need to be enticed, yes,
you know, and I think.
Speaker 5: They're pulling up the skirt just addressed, just a little slowier,
you know, stop that then, you know, you know, but
you just want to you want the movie to go
a little longer. Women like Titanic. There's three hour movie.
It's all romance, it's all it's all low.
Speaker 2: I forgot about that. I'd have to have to go
back and watch it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd have to ship still thinks.
Speaker 4: No, I know the ending is so sad.
Speaker 3: Oh Jack freezes.
Speaker 2: But the I think Matthew McConaughey was up for that
role and they didn't want a southern accent because the
guy was from Wisconsin and he wouldn't do it without
a Southern accent.
Speaker 5: And it wasn't not benefit Ben Afflick's friend.
Speaker 3: I think he might have been up for that too.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know. Yeah, but either way, that's a
good point.
Speaker 4: It's a three hour movie. I do like the the
stop it or I like.
Speaker 2: When you can like. My favorite thing to do is
I I have a lot of dumb things that run
through my head. No, and I want to share them, Okay,
and I want to tell somebody. I don't want to
tell everybody. I just want one person that I can
lean over and whisper in your in your ear or something.
It could be completely filthy dirty, you know, like god,
this is so boring, you know what they want to do.
Speaker 3: And.
Speaker 2: Or it could be about somebody near us, like oh
my god.
Speaker 5: Trust is a big thing too in relationships. Obviously that's
got to be top two communication trust that you can
do that well.
Speaker 2: But how how are two guys who have failed relationships
talking about relationships and actually giving sound advice? You know why?
Speaker 4: Because failure's the greatest teacher.
Speaker 5: We're the outside guy looking at Yeah, we know what
all the man, and we see our friends failing all
the time. We just don't want Yeah, you know, I
don't want to put that much effort into it because
I already know that it's not going.
Speaker 2: To go the way I want.
Speaker 3: Well, how do you know that if I can feel it?
Speaker 5: Okay, I'm not. I'm not the guy that wants to build.
I want that lightning and then then build. I need
that that sparkle lightning and then build and then build and.
Speaker 3: Then keep going.
Speaker 5: There's something that attracts me to you right away, and
then I want to and probably because I I I
do think it's because I worked as her bars for
so long with so many women, naked women, you know,
and oh my gosh, she's incredibly hot. Yeah, but she
just she's a bit sure, she doesn't have a brain
in her head, or she just sell you whatever you.
Speaker 2: Know you're coming from.
Speaker 3: Because yeah, there's gonna be more than that.
Speaker 5: I mean Tom Brady gave up Giselle because she pissed
him off, or they couldn't make it work.
Speaker 3: I mean, she want to have this woman in the world. Well,
but there's.
Speaker 2: More to.
Speaker 3: Connection and to keep that communication. Laughter.
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, and when you find that, you know, I
mean you take a look at penguins and going off
the mark there, but four hundred thousand penguins mate, the
women go to feed, they come back, they can find
the guy.
Speaker 3: Yes, just by his voice. I want that.
Speaker 2: Okay, I got you. You know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean some people say, if you look at
the animals, you can figure out your dating.
Speaker 2: Doug, what are you doing, I'm watching wilds, That's I
guess that's interesting. I often think too, like you're right,
I've been able to know kind of quickly with somebody,
whether it was.
Speaker 3: Say, women will know in five seconds if they're going
to sleep with you or not. Have you ever heard that?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Jez, look that up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, No, I'm gonna take your word for it.
I'm gonna go out and test that theory out, though.
Speaker 3: Would you sleep with me? Five four three two one?
Get the fuck is your friend here?
Speaker 2: I just think I have often known that there were
you know, like if you were ever single and feeling
a little low when you need something to pick up
you looking for the girl with the misplaced tattoo in
the nose peritd bad choices. Yeah, that girl, it's not
gonna work. You don't want anything other than whatever in
that moment.
Speaker 5: I think when I was around twenty thirty, I was
I had moved back in Rochester as at this bar
and this girl I had known she was bartending. Yeah,
she started hitting on me and I kind of surprised,
and then we ended up sleeping together and one night
slept over her house and eight thirty in the morning,
I mean I think it was earlier. She's hitting me
in chin with what her finger picked me up? Why,
that's what I said, Like what what I thought? Fuck
you doing? She goes, well, it's time to get up
I'm like, you thought nothing better than to hit me,
tap me on the chin?
Speaker 3: Why sucked by dick or something like that.
Speaker 5: She goes, would that be better? I'm like, yeah, that
didn't last long. Okay, right then and there, I'm like,
I don't wake me up now. Okay, not a morning person.
Speaker 2: But you have you ever felt with somebody that it
would work and so you've avoided them? I know that's
an odd question. Yeah, all right, No, because I have
known people.
Speaker 5: I knew buddy, they had a girlfriend. I think she
would have worked better with me, and I knew he
was cheating on her, and then she found out and
that I kept going back to him, not once but twice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know she was really I was attracted her.
Speaker 5: We laughed a lot, and he would work and we
would go out and dates or go see actually we
saw Titanic together.
Speaker 2: Yes, you saved him.
Speaker 5: Oh no, I should have nailed her that night, but
being the good guy. But no, somebody like that, I
just having to see right.
Speaker 2: The Uh No, what I was gonna say is I
knew somebody who was in a relationship and there was
somebody else who was asking. And that person said to me,
I always avoided that because I knew I would like
that person and I would want to do something, but
I didn't want to. When I'm in I wanted to
see if this was gonna work out.
Speaker 5: And yeah, so he was in a relationship, knew somebody else.
Speaker 2: I thought, yes, that person had like asked about him
or whatever, and you know he was.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna on this. I'm gonna work on this.
Speaker 2: Because I like but I know if I don't like,
I'll like this person too much. And then and then
I'm gonna be all up in my head.
Speaker 5: And is it like football? Like my team didn't make
the playoffs? Yeah, now I'm gonna root.
Speaker 3: For this team. Yes it is.
Speaker 2: I don't know what the fuck all? Well, take a moment.
I got another one for Dougie. You do, Yeah, oh,
I got another one. This is a I'll give you
this story. I read this story about a British family.
Tell mate, yeah, something happened, not bad, rug, something happened
in Disneyland and it was rather revealing.
Speaker 3: But I go Disney euro or Disney, no Disney here.
Speaker 2: I believe there is. I believe there is, but there is.
I remember my brother when he was an economic forecaster.
Speaker 4: For Disney.
Speaker 2: He there is a time to really hit Britain with
all the advertising and they come over. It's a I
think it's the number one destination in America for Brits
is Orlando.
Speaker 4: I think, I think, I think, but I don't quote
me on that.
Speaker 2: I won't.
Speaker 4: All right, thank you, You're welcome.
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Speaker 3: Diamond day. That's right, performing in Turning Stone.
Speaker 2: And everywhere.
Speaker 4: Go people know the part I'm playing.
Speaker 3: You know this is a remake, right, yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, who did the original?
Speaker 3: I have no idea what it was saying? Yeah, that
would come a day.
Speaker 2: It's got a uh si cap callaway jobs.
Speaker 3: And because I know it with just a gell o,
life goes on with nineteen eighty seven.
Speaker 4: No, I could have been I don't know.
Speaker 2: A d there but that uh but Dougie, uh, this
is your this is your life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, such a jiggle.
Speaker 4: When youth will pass away?
Speaker 2: Yes about me?
Speaker 4: The incomes out of it.
Speaker 2: Just life goes on without me.
Speaker 10: Because nobody, nobody, nobody, this fall me nobody, nobody.
Speaker 4: It's kind of a sad song.
Speaker 2: What do you think about? Yeah, yeah, I never I
never gave it. Yeah, just a sad, sad jigglow. So
let me tell you about this British family. Okay, then
I read about uh apparently.
Speaker 3: Wonder if I'm getting your nickas.
Speaker 2: Apparently this sixty five year old guy and there's a
thirty three year old woman involved, right, so you go,
all right, what's happening here? And he's accused of trying
to drown her in one.
Speaker 4: Of the Disney pools.
Speaker 3: Really yeah, like he's holding her under.
Speaker 2: People jumped in, they got it, They like that. The cops.
People were going, I'm calling the cops. You keep doing that,
like he's pulling her down, and the and the woman's
nine year old daughter to even jumped in and tried
to save her. Here's the fucked up part about it.
This woman is his ex daughter in.
Speaker 3: Law, his married to his son.
Speaker 2: Married to his son who he no longer communicates with.
Speaker 4: I don't know why.
Speaker 2: The guy apparently in London, he's a uh owns a
lighting company and has lit like the stage for the
rolling Stones and has done all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: I'm guessing he has a little bit of money.
Speaker 2: I guess so, and the fight allegedly over, so they
it comes out that they've had a relationship right the
the step the step daughter, I'm gonna say daughter in law,
and the grandfather and the father. The daughter in law
and father in law have had a relationship. And she's
upset because something about a will got talked about. She's
not in the will even though they've been dating, and
so he tries to fucking drown her. Okay, but I
just go, how, how how.
Speaker 4: Does this happen?
Speaker 2: I have heard of fucked up family dynamics and things,
but like, how does it begin? And I'm thinking, is
it the guy like.
Speaker 3: Oh, without a pop's attracted to the girl?
Speaker 4: You think?
Speaker 10: So?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and he's been.
Speaker 5: Because I'm thinking if family pictics everything, you get to talking,
maybe you enjoy your company.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, he's like, you know what, maybe.
Speaker 5: My son's not for you, and I want to I'm
the bread winner. Yeah, and he just doesn't care and
wants the rock or wor you know. And then she
finds out she's not in the will. I mean, that's
gotta be brought up.
Speaker 2: Well, it's been a couple a couple of times, Like
I guess it's been a couple of years that they
were doing this.
Speaker 5: And I because I go some relationships people with money.
You might not be in the will, but we'll have
a doubt. Every year you with me, I'll give you.
There was a rumor Michael Douglas and Catherine jes Jones
they got married. But on the side, if you ever
do get divorced, h, well that's we're not gonna split
my assets, but I will give you five million dollars
a year for every year that you were with me.
Speaker 2: Wow, that that was the prenup.
Speaker 3: Uh or something like that.
Speaker 5: Yes, so we're not gonna everything is my mind and
you get nothing of it.
Speaker 4: Go three years, baby, that's fifteen million dollars.
Speaker 2: Yea four twenty five million, five years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if it's fine, but it can
look it up.
Speaker 2: Oh, but it's fine. No, No, I understand.
Speaker 5: Some and I know years ago there was a relationship.
But like that a friend of my acquaintance, what that
he agreed to a certain amount of money. Yeah, I
think it was twenty thousand a year.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, and was that part of a prenup? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
how do you? I don't know what I would feel
like if I was presented with a prenup. I'm not sure.
A lot of times I feel like it's a it's
are you dooming it before it begins by having this there?
And the other thing is is it just like a
contract to go? These are the rules by which we play.
And I think if you have a lot of money
and you've worked very hard to get to where you are,
you don't want to lose half of that because you decided.
Speaker 3: No matter what happens. I mean, yes, what is marriage fifty?
Making it? Maybe sixty now maybe less?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5: You know so and I know a few people that
it's just more of a safety thing. We're gonna do
this whatever you had before we get married, whatever I have, Yes,
and then we grow together.
Speaker 3: Right, but this will never be well.
Speaker 2: This is where like I go. I would be okay
to not get married. I would like to be in
a relationship with somebody, but I wouldn't. Uh, and one
that's committed and faithful and you're you're building something together.
But I don't have to have the marriage I guess,
I don't know. Maybe maybe you do. I don't know.
I just think like you could have somebody some day,
I mean, yeah, years, right, I mean you might.
Speaker 3: I would marry you.
Speaker 2: I just go, how it would be so weird that
your father was secretly having a relationship with your ex
who is.
Speaker 4: The mother of your kids.
Speaker 3: So grandpa's dating yes, step mommy, yeah, no, yeah, well
mommy mommy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. I mean, and I go, let's say there
was some kind of legal trouble.
Speaker 3: And they're vacationing with the kids, so grandpa Grandpa's right, Yeah,
that's uh fucked up?
Speaker 2: Like, what's what's the family red line? Where do you go?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: Do you understand?
Speaker 3: Every day?
Speaker 2: And I got it. But here's the thing. At some
point something goes bad and he needs your help. Your
father needs your he needs your help in some way
what way? I don't know.
Speaker 3: He's got money, okay, but but what's.
Speaker 2: The family red line? And I go, that's that's a
tough one. That's a tough one to bounce back from.
Speaker 3: But they're never bouncing back from that.
Speaker 4: No, I don't know.
Speaker 2: If someone you love to betray you in the most
personal way possible, there's a lot of way.
Speaker 4: But you saw them drowning. Do you save them?
Speaker 2: Do you jump in and knock your dad out?
Speaker 5: That would be a tough one if I just in
that scenario for somebody drowning something. You're the tunnel of love, right,
you know? Am I jumping in?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 5: I don't know how deep it is. I don't know
what I'm gonna catch myself on. I don't want to
put myself in danger and to stop this guy. If
he's beating up his wife, he's gonna beat me.
Speaker 2: Up to Maybe maybe you're a wrestler dog you can
take the guy down, you know the stuff. What's a
matter I's trying to escape, It's get his paddles. He's cruel. Yeah,
I just I couldn't imagine what that would be like
to have your dad.
Speaker 4: Well there was a story.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, no, this is one another one British Bill Wyman,
former basis for The Rolling Stones. Marry's a nineteen year
old woman. His son marries her mom. Wow, I know,
I know. I think she was nineteen and Bill might
have been fifty two at the time, and they got married,
didn't last and then uh, and I don't know if
the son's marriage to the mother lasted. But how bizarrow
is that? That's like insane? Yeah, that's another insane one
the Brits. You gotta hand it to him. You think
America's fucked.
Speaker 5: Up, Maybe he's just sucked up in every culture everything
around the world.
Speaker 4: I think humans are humans and we all you know,
you you find you're.
Speaker 5: Still marrying four or five girls out in Utah. Mormons
they have to have their own residency and you.
Speaker 3: Can still you can't do that? Yeah, what that's how
it works with I did not know. It's not polygamy.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, is that it? Yes?
Speaker 5: That that was their HBO had a series years ago,
right Bill Pecks and he has three wives, But I think.
Speaker 3: You can still do they changed it.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: They have to have their own residency.
Speaker 2: Oh oh I did not know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that. Wow.
Speaker 5: Okay, and they did sixty minutes or somebody did a
show on a husband Husband's Yeah, they had multiple wives
and there was just one guy and he had four
smoking at women.
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, how do you convince him? Now?
Speaker 3: Here's I can tell you how I think. I I'm young, Yes,
you know Mormons?
Speaker 4: And oh, I thought you meant to bring him young.
Speaker 3: Bring the young graduated g I come loudly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well look, dating, I've had somebody say to me,
you know, dating is great because I'm not sharing a
bathroom with the person.
Speaker 4: You know, once in a while, i'll share a bed,
but I don't. It's not every night. I get to
go home. I got my own space. I get that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Sure, so if you're married, like, if you're cool with
that and you're being kept not a bad life, no,
you know, not a bad.
Speaker 3: Life, that's what you like. That's fine with me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I wouldn't have I don't care if
someone Look if somebody's that crazy that they were going
to put up with four fucking yang yang yang yang.
Speaker 3: Well no, no, no, not all the same time, own
house to each other's.
Speaker 5: I understand Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, your Sunday Friday.
Speaker 2: But I would go. There was a guy who just
got arrested for polygamy in Florida.
Speaker 10: Uh.
Speaker 2: I don't understand how this would be, but he apparently
I don't know if the relationships ended and he didn't
annul them or divorce these women. But these women were
all look like they were rational people, Like when I
say that meaning they had all their teeth, they looked
like they had a job, they were attractive people. And
these women were like, yeah, they need to change the
laws in Florida so the counties can talk to each other,
because he's getting married to different women in different counties and.
Speaker 4: They proved it out. Well, here's the fucked up part.
Speaker 2: You run a toll in one county, you don't think
they're gonna fucking find.
Speaker 4: You in your other county. Yeah, but get a marriage.
Speaker 3: But you don't put your Social Security number down for marriage?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure you do.
Speaker 3: But I go, why, who gives you shit?
Speaker 2: What did this guy do? Well, because it's a federal law,
and I go, who gives a fuck?
Speaker 3: Yeah? That one?
Speaker 2: Unless it's a tax evasion. I exactly, it could be that.
But other than that, I don't care. It's not it's
not harming me. You know, jare a headache, buddy, And
it's a good story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, story that I don't need to hear. You really
need to be married to two different women? Is just?
Is that a bragging point? Now?
Speaker 2: No? No, I don't think so, and I I don't know,
I don't know what would it be a bragging. What
would you brag about.
Speaker 5: I mean, if you're eighteen and nineteen you have two
different girlfriends. Yeah, yeah, you're breaking into the frarehouse.
Speaker 4: Okay, you know, I understand. Yeah.
Speaker 5: And then as you get older, obviously different think did
another woman fall? It was different things, you know I'm
bringing about. I'm not bragging about the podcast, but it's
set my you know when I talk more about this
than dating two women at the same time, Yes, because
I don't want to get in trouble with.
Speaker 2: Those two rights exactly. But you're older.
Speaker 9: You're not nineteen, right, right, fifty five? Yeah, you've learned,
you've learned. Yeah, your mouth shut up. That break, Come on,
that's why I happened when they fell off the cliff.
Speaker 3: They were pumping the break. That's a joke.
Speaker 5: I told this blonde that I had sex with a Brazilian.
She goes, how many in a Brazilian? Oh that's funny,
that's funny. That is funny, very good. Any other fun
things happened in Dougie's role?
Speaker 2: Well, wait, I know there are I know there are.
Speaker 5: My breast cancer. Yeah, yeah, my breast cancer. Golf is
two weeks away from Monday. I just finished all the
raffle bags. I have to make more, but went I
guess how many raffles in me. I kind of feel
like I'm bragging about this. What I think you are
bragging about? Yeah, so I have? This is all you
have though you don't have kids to brag about it.
Speaker 2: You got a fat catody cares about a fact life support,
so you got to brag about your stupid charity.
Speaker 3: Uh, you haven't sponsored in two years?
Speaker 2: You cheap, fucking I'm a fucking loser.
Speaker 3: What do you I got ninety nine raffle prizes right now,
whoa yeah wow, and more to go, so everybody gets
a raffle.
Speaker 4: You get a raffle prize, You get a raff No.
Speaker 5: I made pudding shots for the first time and they
went over shot. They went over great, way better than
jello shots. Pudding shot, yes, really yeah. I even took
my folks on. You can ask my father call them
up and.
Speaker 4: Ask what kind of pudding are you to using?
Speaker 3: Handsome and the cold?
Speaker 2: Tell me it's chocolate pudding, please, because I want to
see it all around people's mouths.
Speaker 3: It's baby, stop it.
Speaker 5: The first set was vanilla vanilla with pineapple and amaretto
and whipped cream, and I.
Speaker 2: Are they like frozen? Now you're doing you're doing the
spoon no mixer, no, No, What I'm saying is how
am I?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Well, women are using their tongues right. And I forgot
to buy the spoons for the chocolate ones that I
made the other night, and that was spoon three three
sixty chocolate cocoa. Oh yeah, there's there are women that again,
I don't need a spoon, and they just get there.
Speaker 2: They want to prove it to you.
Speaker 5: You know, I don't need a spoon, and it's sexual
right there, the simplest thing the Jeller shot. They want
it because they know you're not going to get it
and their husband isn't getting it, but they just want
everybody to know.
Speaker 2: They can do it.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: So what no more room for people to join the golf,
Not the golf, but the bowling.
Speaker 5: Bowling, And even though I think I have seven lanes
to count for thirty two lanes that is October eighteenth,
The golf is August twenty fifth.
Speaker 3: You might even do a podcast.
Speaker 5: There in the morning twenty fifth Monday morning. Probably not,
but you'd have to bring all this shit and just
it would be great to be out for you to
experience what I put together. I think your eyes would
Did you come to bowling?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, okay, So yeah, we're very busy, man, I know
you are, yeah in your mud whistle, but yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Got overalls mud whistles.
Speaker 5: You might even get some new listeners probably not probably
like who's this fucking joker?
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, that's exactly.
Speaker 3: Get my dad out there. Oh, we'll get him a
pink one.
Speaker 2: Me and Dave. Come on.
Speaker 3: He might make you a Southern Manhattan secret recipe.
Speaker 2: I like it, Like twenty five, I like it. Yeah,
made the August twenty fifth. That's on Monday.
Speaker 5: And if you'd like to be a sponsor, donate find
me on Facebook under Doug Phelps, okay, or sending a
gift card here to bid Yeah, and that's on the
book site. But everything is much appreciated.
Speaker 2: Well, very good, yeah, very good. Fun little fun time
with yeah, always a fun time with Dougie for Dougie Fresh,
I'm Bill Murray, see you tomorrow.
Speaker 4: I woke up in the hotel, didn't know what to do.
Speaker 2: I'm turn a TV. I want to rule a letter
to you.