Speaker 1: Welcome to the Funny Kind with Erica Gummeny bringing heart, humor,
Speaker 1: and hope to everyday life. Laughter and love really do
Speaker 1: make a difference, and Erica's here to prove it. Part
Speaker 1: Deep Dive, part stand Up for the Soul, this show
Speaker 1: blends humor, heart and real talk to help you stop
Speaker 1: believing the lies that hold you back. Whether she's flying
Speaker 1: solo or chatting with guests, Erica brings her signature mix
Speaker 1: of authenticity, wit, and wisdom, reminding you that growth doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be so serious. So pull up a chair, exhale,
Speaker 1: and get ready to laugh, reflect, and reconnect with the
Speaker 1: extraordinary human you already are, because this is the Funny
Speaker 1: Kind where humor meets healing and inspiration meets action.
Speaker 2: Hello. Everyone, welcome to this awesome episode. You are in
Speaker 2: for a treat. I have an amazing guest with us
Speaker 2: today that every time I talk to her, I joked
Speaker 2: with her that she needs to carry around a button
Speaker 2: that says press record, because every time we talk, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, oh that's so good.
Speaker 2: Oh that's so good. Oh that's so good. So this
Speaker 2: is going to be good. I promise no pressure. So
Speaker 2: before we get started, I want to introduce Amy Lindner,
Speaker 2: our guest. So, Hello, Amy, Welcome.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Erica.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So let me just give you a snapshot
Speaker 2: into who Amy is. You know, bios are great, but
Speaker 2: they never really give the full picture of who a
Speaker 2: person is. But I'm going to give it my best
Speaker 2: and just want to give you a little window into
Speaker 2: this awesome woman. So. Amy Lindner is the President and
Speaker 2: CEO of United Way of Greater Milwaukee in Waukesha County
Speaker 2: and is committed to fighting for the health, education, and
Speaker 2: financial stability of every person in our local community. Under
Speaker 2: Amy's leadership, United Way raised more than four hundred and
Speaker 2: twenty five million dollars for the community since twenty eighteen. Amazing. Previously,
Speaker 2: Amy served as the president and CEO of Meidehouse, a
Speaker 2: Milwaukee based nonprofit whose mission is to end the generational
Speaker 2: cycle of addiction by healing women and strengthen strengthening families.
Speaker 2: And Amy was also a partner of the law firm
Speaker 2: Reinhardt Berner Van Duran, which is one of the nation's
Speaker 2: two hundred largest law firms. So just a few amazing
Speaker 2: things about Amy. My favorite thing about Amy, which is
Speaker 2: as many and we have only tapped into our connection.
Speaker 2: But when Amy walks into a room, she carries with
Speaker 2: her just a confidence that isn't a boastful look at me,
Speaker 2: It's just she just walks with an air of worthiness.
Speaker 2: And I just see that in you, Amy, and it's
Speaker 2: it's it's wonderful to see somebody with with that that
Speaker 2: feels so authentically who they are.
Speaker 3: That's a lovely compliment, Erica.
Speaker 4: And also it hurts my heart a little bit because
Speaker 4: I think the reason you notice it is because it
Speaker 4: isn't common enough. There are not enough of us walking
Speaker 4: around with that deep seated belief that whatever room we
Speaker 4: are in, we are we have the right to be
Speaker 4: in that room.
Speaker 2: Amen. Truth. So that brings me to our topic for today.
Speaker 2: For those of you that have been following along, every
Speaker 2: month we choose a theme that ties in with you know,
Speaker 2: shameless plug my book Journey of the Ashes, which I
Speaker 2: just love, and every month is a theme that really
Speaker 2: talks about the lies that we have been holding on to,
Speaker 2: that we are ready to stop believing and reclaim the
Speaker 2: truth of who we are. And so this month in
Speaker 2: August is worthy and that is a really deep word
Speaker 2: and it can mean a lot of different things. And
Speaker 2: so as I started to think about worthy and who
Speaker 2: would I love to have a deep talk about this
Speaker 2: with Amy came to mind, and we've had a couple
Speaker 2: different talks about this that kind of went in some
Speaker 2: different directions. And when I was thinking of worthy, I
Speaker 2: was thinking and united way and service. I was thinking,
Speaker 2: let's go in the direction of service and how everyone
Speaker 2: deserves to be cared for and to have dignity and
Speaker 2: is worthy regardless of their station in life. And so
Speaker 2: when Amy and I had are kind of second recap
Speaker 2: planning talk, you kind of redirected the conversation in the
Speaker 2: best way. And I would love for you to kind
Speaker 2: of talk a little bit about that and what your
Speaker 2: feelings are when it comes to this talk of worth
Speaker 2: worthiness worth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you bet Erica, the way you just said it.
Speaker 4: I mostly love like this idea that service is wonderful,
Speaker 4: that everybody is in a position to help, sometimes everybody
Speaker 4: is deserving of help when they need it. Like those
Speaker 4: concepts I think are wonderful and really foundational. I think
Speaker 4: to where some of my confidence comes from. But you
Speaker 4: also had talked about this idea that service can be
Speaker 4: a place from which we can generate worth. I and
Speaker 4: I that's mostly right, Like I do think it feels
Speaker 4: really good to help other people when you're in a
Speaker 4: position to do that. But what I pushed back on
Speaker 4: is this idea that we have to kind of earn
Speaker 4: our worth by being of service to others or by
Speaker 4: any other way, that the idea that worth is something
Speaker 4: that is external to us, that people can bestow upon us,
Speaker 4: or worse withhold from us. And you and I kind
Speaker 4: of deep in the conversation about I just don't see
Speaker 4: it that way at all. And I want more people
Speaker 4: to think about this idea that you don't need anybody
Speaker 4: or anything external to yourself to bestow your worth because
Speaker 4: it is already inherent inside of you.
Speaker 2: And when you said the word inherent, I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh. You know, sometimes we say words and
Speaker 2: we're like, I don't even know what that means. And
Speaker 2: so this word inherent is existing as a natural and
Speaker 2: permanent quality of someone, and so it's within us, it's
Speaker 2: and I so talk a little bit more about how
Speaker 2: have you always felt that within you?
Speaker 3: I have not always felt that way in me.
Speaker 4: I would love to say that yes, but may maybe
Speaker 4: it's better that I feel like I had a journey
Speaker 4: to that idea.
Speaker 3: I think many, many, many of us.
Speaker 4: Are either have achieved that through a journey, or maybe
Speaker 4: are on a journey towards achieving it, maybe for more
Speaker 4: of us, but no, I mean, the world tells us
Speaker 4: so many stories, so many untruths about the thing.
Speaker 3: That is going to make you worthy.
Speaker 4: There are people who are chasing goodness, however they define it,
Speaker 4: however their church defines it or their parents define it.
Speaker 4: There are people who are chasing money. There are people
Speaker 4: who are chasing a certain dress size, or there are
Speaker 4: people who are chasing a certain bicep size.
Speaker 3: Right like you name it.
Speaker 4: There is someone out there somewhere telling you the thing
Speaker 4: that you should be chasing. I just learned the phrase
Speaker 4: today hip dip, which is just like oh inventing a
Speaker 4: new way for women to feel insecure about their boy.
Speaker 4: It's just, I mean, it's just it doesn't matter how
Speaker 4: hard you chase all of those external things. They are
Speaker 4: not achievable by any of us. They're certainly not permanently achievable.
Speaker 4: But the good new you That's the bad news, I guess.
Speaker 4: But the good news is I don't think we have
Speaker 4: to chase them. We are as you know, as you've
Speaker 4: already said the word inherent, but we are worthy by
Speaker 4: the very fact of our existence and whatever it is
Speaker 4: is your faith system in terms of like why we
Speaker 4: exist or how we exist, it is really central to
Speaker 4: my beliefs.
Speaker 3: That we all have value, full stop.
Speaker 2: And well, I love it when you said that in
Speaker 2: our talk and that you said it again today, full stop.
Speaker 3: Full stop, like we have value.
Speaker 4: And I think for some of us in our own traditions,
Speaker 4: when we look around at other people, we either already
Speaker 4: believe that or we are training ourselves to believe that,
Speaker 4: right Like you see these other people, these incredible women,
Speaker 4: these incredible men, just people all across our community, and
Speaker 4: you see somebody and you're like, oh, I love this
Speaker 4: about them, or I love that about them, or I
Speaker 4: admire so much this thing or that thing.
Speaker 3: And even when you.
Speaker 4: See somebody who maybe isn't your cup of tea, many
Speaker 4: of us have sort of a practice of trying to say, like, okay,
Speaker 4: like there is something in there, you know, maybe I
Speaker 4: can find it, or maybe I should just assume that
Speaker 4: it's in there, even if I can't see it in
Speaker 4: this moment or in my dealings with this person. And
Speaker 4: one of the things you and I have talked about
Speaker 4: is when we look at ourselves, we don't always bring
Speaker 4: that same kindness. Like even if we're great at seeing
Speaker 4: the good in other people, it's more of a journey
Speaker 4: for some of us to see that in ourselves. And
Speaker 4: you know, to your point, like, yes, that has been
Speaker 4: a journey for me, but it's one that I was
Speaker 4: really dedicated to being on, not only because I think
Speaker 4: it's good for all of us, but also because for
Speaker 4: me it is so connected to my belief about community
Speaker 4: and service and philanthropy, which is in my view, I
Speaker 4: don't need to know the whole story of somebody standing
Speaker 4: in front of me who needs help. They're a person
Speaker 4: who needs help, and if I'm in a position to
Speaker 4: do something about that, I want to try to do
Speaker 4: something about that. And so that person, in my view,
Speaker 4: doesn't have to earn my help. If I have it
Speaker 4: to give, I want it. I want to be able
Speaker 4: to give it. And if I'm going to try to
Speaker 4: see that in every person standing in front of me
Speaker 4: in our community, whether I get to see them or not.
Speaker 3: Why would it be any less true for me?
Speaker 4: Like it's almost I hesitate to use this word, but
Speaker 4: it's almost an arrogance to think there's something specifically or
Speaker 4: specially awful about me that exempts me from this broader
Speaker 4: view that all people are good and so, and that
Speaker 4: all people are good within them, and all people are
Speaker 4: worthy of lots of things, of when we can do it, trust,
Speaker 4: of kindness, of help, of being. And I think when
Speaker 4: we see that in others, as we practice that, my
Speaker 4: hope is maybe that's one step stool holds is to
Speaker 4: seeing it in ourselves.
Speaker 2: I am I okay? First of all, everybody? Am I right?
Speaker 2: Or am I right? Like? Hit record? Like? Are you
Speaker 2: jotting down everything that you just heard?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: When you? It's I love the if everyone is worthy,
Speaker 2: aren't you everyone?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Aren't you one of the everyone?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: And to think, what a what a you had said something,
Speaker 2: and I wish I would have recorded everything we've ever
Speaker 2: talked about, But you had said something about what a
Speaker 2: waste of time looking at our own time spent on
Speaker 2: deficiencies is not time well spent? And Amy, I wish
Speaker 2: I would have met you. You know, I've spent a
Speaker 2: lifetime of focusing on that, you know, and fixing what
Speaker 2: was wrong and focusing. And then remember when everything kind
Speaker 2: of changed in the business world where it was like,
Speaker 2: we don't focus as on weakness as we focus on strengths.
Speaker 2: And it's like culture shifted to focusing on what we're
Speaker 2: really good at for those of us. And I've mentioned
Speaker 2: this on other episodes, I have a genetic I don't
Speaker 2: know if it's genetic, I don't know what word to use,
Speaker 2: a natural negative soundtrack that I am rewiring every day
Speaker 2: that if I make a mistake, I manage myself by
Speaker 2: fear I'm like the worst boss. So that is something
Speaker 2: that I like you had said you feeling that worthiness
Speaker 2: within you has been something you have mindfully focused on
Speaker 2: and that's why you show up in a room and
Speaker 2: people are like, wait, something's different, and I know you
Speaker 2: said that it breaks heart, but it's like, dang it,
Speaker 2: that's awesome. That's just awesome. And I feel like old
Speaker 2: Erica if she said, oh my gosh, I'm going to
Speaker 2: be talking to the president and CEO and a lawyer
Speaker 2: and I don't know what if I make a who cares?
Speaker 2: We are everyone and we are having a wonderful conversation
Speaker 2: as two people who are doing their best.
Speaker 3: That's exactly right, Erica.
Speaker 4: And you know a couple of things come to mind
Speaker 4: for me, and I guess it's back to this idea
Speaker 4: of like we are everyone. So if you think about
Speaker 4: if you've ever been in a position we all have,
Speaker 4: like whether you're a formal boss in your workplace, whether
Speaker 4: you're thinking about how you talk to children, how you
Speaker 4: talk to the neighbor, how you talk to anybody, we
Speaker 4: all know that it's more productive to speak with kindness
Speaker 4: in every possible circumstance. Right. That doesn't mean you never
Speaker 4: have a crossword for anybody, But if you're trying to
Speaker 4: get something accomplished, if you're trying to have a colleague understand,
Speaker 4: like hey, if you work a little further ahead, we
Speaker 4: won't be rushed at the end and we'll feel better
Speaker 4: about the end product. If you're trying to tell a
Speaker 4: little one like hey, when you're not truthful with me
Speaker 4: about how the lamp got broken, like we can't work
Speaker 4: together to fix it, right, Like, whatever it is, we
Speaker 4: all know that yelling, speaking with unkindness, blaming people like
Speaker 4: nobody reacts well to that. So again, why would we
Speaker 4: be any different if there is something truly that you
Speaker 4: want to change.
Speaker 3: In yourself and that's okay.
Speaker 4: Like, I'm not saying there aren't opportunities for growth for
Speaker 4: all of us, me included, good Lord. Yes, But the
Speaker 4: way that I get there is not being mean to myself,
Speaker 4: Like when I say to myself, you're such a dumb
Speaker 4: dumb you didn't go to the gym today, Like, well,
Speaker 4: how does that make me feel?
Speaker 3: And if instead I say like, hey, I hope to
Speaker 3: get to the gym today.
Speaker 4: That didn't happen, I'm going to redouble my efforts to
Speaker 4: get there tomorrow, right like, like it just feels different
Speaker 4: inside your head. I love that you're pointing out the
Speaker 4: narratives we tell ourselves because those are some of the
Speaker 4: most ingrained, most powerful narratives that exist. So if we
Speaker 4: can shift them from being unduly negative towards being more positive,
Speaker 4: like what a good that would be. And when I
Speaker 4: first thought about this, I wasn't even particularly thinking about myself.
Speaker 4: It's something I learned from Jennifer Bartolotta, who is just
Speaker 4: such this incredible teacher in our community and beyond. You know, still,
Speaker 4: I was still working through a lot of body image
Speaker 4: stuff that I've been really really diligent about trying to
Speaker 4: get out of my own brain on And what she
Speaker 4: said to me is, there is so much you are
Speaker 4: trying to accomplish professionally in the community. You have all
Speaker 4: these ambitions of ways you want to help our community
Speaker 4: be better. What could you be thinking about if you
Speaker 4: weren't thinking about your thighs? And I thought, oh, oh
Speaker 4: my god, why am I thinking about my thighs?
Speaker 3: Who cares?
Speaker 2: Like? Who cares?
Speaker 4: I care about family stability, I care about overcoming addiction.
Speaker 4: I care about people reducing barriers, people get a job.
Speaker 4: I care about mental wellness like that stuff. Compare did
Speaker 4: this circumference of my thighs?
Speaker 3: Good grief? Who?
Speaker 2: That is so so good? You know how much? And
Speaker 2: our society is so self focused like self help, you know?
Speaker 2: And And after writing this book, which took me fifteen
Speaker 2: years from the time I thought of it until it
Speaker 2: finally came out of all kinds of stuff, and once
Speaker 2: I was done, I'm like, I don't want to talk
Speaker 2: about this anymore. I'm so sick of it, you know,
Speaker 2: like enough, like when you're done, like like, I don't
Speaker 2: want to talk about it anymore because I've healed so
Speaker 2: much of it. And yet I know that that's my
Speaker 2: mission field is to help other people. I'm self aware
Speaker 2: on steroids. Other people are like I didn't even realize
Speaker 2: that I can change that narrative in my head. I didn't.
Speaker 2: It's so I had I had a person on a
Speaker 2: couple episodes Again and Ago, and she said who says
Speaker 2: And I was like yeah. And I was just coaching
Speaker 2: a girl who's trying to give up ease cigarettes, which
Speaker 2: is super duper addictive, And she was making her way
Speaker 2: up the stairs and she had a thought and she
Speaker 2: was working through it. How she was like, Oh, you
Speaker 2: deserve it. You had this stressful day and we were
Speaker 2: talking about it, and I'm like, well, who told you that?
Speaker 2: And she's like, well, I I don't know who told
Speaker 2: me that. I wouldn't tell myself that. That's dumb, you know.
Speaker 2: Like so it was just like, oh, it's so great
Speaker 2: when we realized that there's something else in there that
Speaker 2: needs to be pulled out, and that's so awesome it.
Speaker 3: Is, you know, Erica.
Speaker 4: I want to just offer a lot of grace and
Speaker 4: a lot of kindness to all of us who have
Speaker 4: absorbed all of these messages. There is every industry in
Speaker 4: the world that is trying to sell us something. Right,
Speaker 4: And sometimes it's something awesome and good and additive and
Speaker 4: solves a problem in your life, and yay, But so
Speaker 4: so often it is something you don't need, you don't want,
Speaker 4: that doesn't actually make you feel better or more complete
Speaker 4: or more full. It is just empty, I'll say, empty calories,
Speaker 4: whether it's food or not food, just stuff that somebody
Speaker 4: has decided that if they can make you scared or
Speaker 4: make you feel bad about yourself, they're more likely to
Speaker 4: be able to sell you something. And that will remain
Speaker 4: true as long as we keep accepting that and we
Speaker 4: keep feeding into that. But the more we can try
Speaker 4: to divorce ourselves from that and say, when I go
Speaker 4: to the gym, I'm really not trying to go, or
Speaker 4: I'm trying not to go because someone else has told
Speaker 4: me it will.
Speaker 3: Make my body look away more acceptable to somebody else.
Speaker 4: Right, But more about like how I feel when I'm
Speaker 4: regularly working out, Like I feel more rested, I feel
Speaker 4: more calm, I feel stronger. Things that are important to me,
Speaker 4: not something that is being pedled to me by someone
Speaker 4: who stands to make a dollar somewhere.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it's so it's so true, and it's
Speaker 2: so you know, as I've really been focused on an
Speaker 2: entrepreneur solo now, you know, stepped away from full time
Speaker 2: work and really just focusing on my own business, I'm
Speaker 2: finding that it's rampant in small business.
Speaker 3: Sign up for.
Speaker 2: This program, let me take you know you want to
Speaker 2: be this, well, what take our fifteen thousand dollars program
Speaker 2: and you too can be a great And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it just really pulls on that for me, Like, because
Speaker 2: of the way that I was raised, I had a habit.
Speaker 2: I might not be using the right words, but being
Speaker 2: discontent in the situation that I was in when I
Speaker 2: was younger was smart. You don't want to stay in
Speaker 2: that situation. It's good for you to dream and hope
Speaker 2: and see something else and work towards something else. That's great,
Speaker 2: but it kind of became a habit of if then
Speaker 2: thinking for me, and I find myself still it's harder
Speaker 2: for me to just be content and to be realized.
Speaker 2: Like I always say, I am walking in answered prayers,
Speaker 2: like I'm in a place now that I prayed for,
Speaker 2: and I'm still like, well, yeah, but maybe if I
Speaker 2: get that, then I'll be worthy enough. Maybe if I
Speaker 2: get that, then I'll be good enough. Maybe if that happens,
Speaker 2: then I'll be happy. Maybe if all my you know,
Speaker 2: at one point all my wrinkles went away. I was
Speaker 2: well focused on that for a while. You know, I
Speaker 2: got I always joke about my elevens. I just did
Speaker 2: a funny episode with my friend where we created a
Speaker 2: fake product called permise back, like where we put spack
Speaker 2: letter on my elevens. I'm like, look, see you can't
Speaker 2: see my wrinkles now. And it's like, you know, my
Speaker 2: whole message is like loving myself for who I am.
Speaker 2: This is who I am. I got deep wrinkles because
Speaker 2: I I think deeply and I smile big. So that's
Speaker 2: who I am. Like me or don't like me. I
Speaker 2: like me?
Speaker 3: Fine, I like you too, Erica.
Speaker 4: You know what you're talking about is so complicated because
Speaker 4: it is there are two things that are simultaneously true.
Speaker 4: We are worthy in my mind, full stop, regardless of
Speaker 4: anything external of us. And we can determine to some extent,
Speaker 4: to a reasonably big extent, how we're going to see
Speaker 4: our own set of circumstances right.
Speaker 3: And it is also okay, okay.
Speaker 4: To want to strive and push and grow and improve
Speaker 4: our circumstances. Where the mistake comes in, I think, is
Speaker 4: when people think that external change is going to change
Speaker 4: us internally, that if we're this size, this wealth, this popular,
Speaker 4: this whatever, that means, we are going to be happy inside.
Speaker 4: And I'm so sorry that anyone who hasn't already figured
Speaker 4: this out. They're very thin, very wealthy, very quote unquote popular,
Speaker 4: people who are miserable.
Speaker 3: Yes, and we all know people.
Speaker 4: Who are in a body that looks different than what
Speaker 4: the world says is the ideal body and are not
Speaker 4: at the top of the economic pyramid, and when you
Speaker 4: interact with them, you feel their peace, you feel their joy.
Speaker 4: And that isn't saying that like, hey, life isn't harder
Speaker 4: if you have less resources.
Speaker 3: Of course it is right, but.
Speaker 4: One doesn't follow the other. That we as we learn
Speaker 4: to think about our own thoughts and be mindful about
Speaker 4: the energy we want to try to carry and the
Speaker 4: thought we want to bring and the gratitude we want
Speaker 4: to bring, life gets better regardless of what else is
Speaker 4: happening for you.
Speaker 2: I'm remembering what we talked about speaking of full stop.
Speaker 2: You had the best analogy metaphor of a piggy bank.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, can you walk? Do you remember that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: There's a colleague of mine brought this up once because
Speaker 4: we were talking about a shared colleague who was really
Speaker 4: unhappy in their work and our frustration that this person
Speaker 4: was unhappy, that we wanted them to be happy in
Speaker 4: their role, and it just didn't seem like a new title,
Speaker 4: raise you know all the things that like, these things
Speaker 4: are nice, right, but it didn't seem to matter how
Speaker 4: much of that came. This person remained unhappy. And the
Speaker 4: image my colleague gave me was the idea of like
Speaker 4: the classic piggybank with the slot in the top and
Speaker 4: the stopper on the bottom, that there are people who
Speaker 4: like the stopper, just isn't in that the stopper is
Speaker 4: disconnected from the piggybank, so then it ends up no
Speaker 4: matter how much you plug into the top, it all
Speaker 4: just comes falling out of the bottom.
Speaker 3: And if we like stretch the metaphor, I think there's.
Speaker 4: Something about the idea of worth that connects to that stopper.
Speaker 4: When someone because I mostly feel like I'm mostly okay,
Speaker 4: like sometimes good, sometimes great, sometimes a little subpar, but
Speaker 4: you know, I'm okay, Like as I am, I'm okay,
Speaker 4: I'm good because I believe that at a deep, like
Speaker 4: cellular level. When someone gives me a compliment, you know
Speaker 4: what I say, Erica, I say thank you.
Speaker 3: I don't say oh no, I don't. I mean everyone like.
Speaker 4: I don't tell somebody they're wrong when they're telling me
Speaker 4: something nice about me.
Speaker 3: I just try to say thank you.
Speaker 4: And sometimes, you know, someone will say like, oh, I
Speaker 4: love that speech you gave, and I'll say thank you.
Speaker 3: I worked really hard at it.
Speaker 4: So that's extra awesome to hear, right, Like, it's okay
Speaker 4: to like, you know, give some context somewhere. But you know,
Speaker 4: how Wisconsin is it to be like, hey, I love
Speaker 4: your dress.
Speaker 3: Oh thanks?
Speaker 2: It was that saying right, I got it. I got
Speaker 2: it at a thrift store for one, And that's fine whatever.
Speaker 4: Right, But but if someone's saying nice things about you,
Speaker 4: like maybe entertain the idea that it's true and say
Speaker 4: thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I I that's that's stopper. I think a
Speaker 2: good question for us all to think about is what
Speaker 2: is your stopper? If you don't have one, think about it.
Speaker 2: You know, for me, what changed for me is receiving
Speaker 2: and understanding and believing that I was unconditionally loved by God.
Speaker 2: For me, that was my journey because I didn't feel
Speaker 2: a lot of unconditional love when I was growing, and
Speaker 2: so that shifted. And then you know what else, I'm
Speaker 2: just thinking the Four Agreements book, Like if you if
Speaker 2: you say something to me like, Erica, you are not funny,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I totally disagree with you. I am not
Speaker 2: receiving that because that's crazy, right. But if you said
Speaker 2: something like well, Erica, you're whatever, and I agreed with
Speaker 2: it inside, then it bothers me and so I feel like,
Speaker 2: for the I've been thinking about that ever since you
Speaker 2: shared it, Like I want my stopper to be airtight,
Speaker 2: and I also, nobody can put anything in if it
Speaker 2: doesn't pass through me.
Speaker 3: You know, I own my own.
Speaker 2: I love this age I do. I'm so so much more.
Speaker 2: I have so much more protection for myself now than
Speaker 2: I used to.
Speaker 3: And I think that comes Erica.
Speaker 4: However, someone gets there, therapy, faith, mindfulness, whatever combination of
Speaker 4: things resonate for you. When you get to that idea
Speaker 4: that I have these things, I know these things inherently
Speaker 4: about myself, it gets so much easier to decide what
Speaker 4: to let in and what not to let in. If
Speaker 4: you think about how protective most of us are about
Speaker 4: our own homes, who you invite in, who you let in.
Speaker 4: Some people are so much less discerning when it comes
Speaker 4: to their brains.
Speaker 3: And their bodies.
Speaker 4: And I don't even mean just in physical relationships. I
Speaker 4: mean somebody has said something to you. Are you going
Speaker 4: to accept that as true? Is that something that you're
Speaker 4: going to let keep rattling around in your brain and
Speaker 4: ruminate on for days or weeks or years. Maybe maybe
Speaker 4: if it has value to you, if you love it,
Speaker 4: if it resonates with you by all means.
Speaker 3: But if it's coming from somebody who you don't know,
Speaker 3: who you don't love, who you don't.
Speaker 4: Value, who you don't believe values you, why would you
Speaker 4: let them in in that way? You wouldn't invite that
Speaker 4: person over to dinner, but you're going to let their
Speaker 4: comment to you rattle around in your brain? For goodness
Speaker 4: knows how long I'm saying this as if it's easy.
Speaker 4: I know it's human. We take stuff in, But if
Speaker 4: you've accidentally taken in garbage, try to get Try to
Speaker 4: take the garbage out trying.
Speaker 2: Only in that time, can you let the stop her
Speaker 2: out a new stopper really well sealed? I mean we
Speaker 2: can go shopping.
Speaker 3: It's fine.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm telling you this could be a four hour discussion.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: I am so grateful that you spent this time with us,
Speaker 2: and that you opened your heart and your your mind
Speaker 2: to to all of us and shared your experience and
Speaker 2: your wisdom. I do want to bring back the concept
Speaker 2: of United Way, such an amazing organization, so much wonderful
Speaker 2: work being done in our community. I will share the
Speaker 2: link for volunteering. I do want to just end with
Speaker 2: that thought that you had about the difference of helping
Speaker 2: from a from a grounded place. You know that we
Speaker 2: all say that part again, just how we all everyone
Speaker 2: deserves everyone needs help sometimes.
Speaker 4: What you said, everyone needs help sometimes, and everyone is
Speaker 4: in a position to help. You know, sometimes we hear
Speaker 4: people at United Ways saying like, oh, I couldn't donate
Speaker 4: very much. You know, I could only donate five dollars,
Speaker 4: or I could only donate ten dollars, as if that
Speaker 4: is not in itself a gift, which of course it is.
Speaker 4: Like sometimes people can give a different amount of time
Speaker 4: of dollars of effort. But there is nobody I have
Speaker 4: ever met that does not have something of value to
Speaker 4: give to other people. And if what you have to
Speaker 4: give today is a kind word or a smile or
Speaker 4: an hour or five dollars or five hundred dollars, when
Speaker 4: you look around your community and think my gift made
Speaker 4: a difference for somebody else, like man, what a powerful
Speaker 4: way to be connected to community and for many of
Speaker 4: us to live our own values of thinking that I
Speaker 4: am part of this ecosystem that is my community, and
Speaker 4: my goal every day is to be part of it
Speaker 4: in a way that lightens the low for other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to drop as many coins and piggybangs
Speaker 2: that I can. Yes, and and I love that. It's
Speaker 2: not to prove anything other than we are everyone.
Speaker 3: It's the way I'm being good.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, Well, thank you Amy so much. We'd love
Speaker 2: to have you back. I'm sure that we're going to
Speaker 2: hear lots of great comments. So thank you so much
Speaker 2: for everything that you are doing. You are making such
Speaker 2: a difference and I appreciate you so very much.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Erica. It's a pleasure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So we'll see you guys on the next episode
Speaker 2: of the Funny Kind. Thanks so much for listening and
Speaker 2: tuning in.
Speaker 1: Thanks for tuning in to the Funny Kind with Erica Gummeny,
Speaker 1: where humor meets healing and inspiration meets action. If this
Speaker 1: episode made you laugh, think, or become inspired, be sure
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Speaker 1: your pivotalpoint dot com. Until next time, keep laughing, keep laughing,
Speaker 1: and keep spreading a little bit of funny and a
Speaker 1: whole lot of kind.