Speaker 1: In the year two thousand and seven fourteen, a new
squad of operatives was chosen by the College of Illusion.
These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at
every opportunity. Today, still working together because really, who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can hire
the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: FELSONI, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag.
Speaker 4: And Jesse Wicks as Bill Cuilance, Nico Rodriguez as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Continuing Tales of a Fool's.
Speaker 3: Quest, and we're back to season nine with the Fools.
When last we left our heroes, they finally made it
to the Conjuration Nation. They arrived in a large warehouse
that they were not I'm not sure of where they
were going to be, but it popped up and they
were able to get their cart through, which was really handy.
But on their way through they encountered a couple of
conjured shacks that were very reminiscent of Old Elmer, the
original founder of this enterprise his original shack. They were
able to conjure these replicas and turn them into a
security system that the fools had to fight in order
to get out of the glue factory. Uh Rag went
up and took the risk and led the way out
by distracts acting some of the shacks as well as
navigating the way out, while Bill and Eddie took charge
of the carts and yeah, and then they escaped and
got out into the Bogway. And from there they started
down a long path because Bill once again cannot navigate
to save his life.
Speaker 4: Listen, man, it's hard when there's a wrinkly as Gerbil
following you around.
Speaker 3: There was a wild magic event that caused Uag to
lose all of his hair.
Speaker 5: Yes and yeah, so he's a wrinkly giant.
Speaker 3: Bald and cold in the Bogway.
Speaker 4: I have a cartful of h I have a cartful
of clothes, but I offered none.
Speaker 3: There was a combat that I had prepared that Eddie
took care of with one fell swoop with one swift fireball.
As he does, as he does, and go help.
Speaker 2: Now he does.
Speaker 3: They are headed toward Crossing to meet Y.
Speaker 2: Wrigley is the name, and Transportations is game. Get something
to move through this mud quicker.
Speaker 3: Mm hm. So you arrive at Crossing after three days
of travel, rag. You have bug bites on you, mosquito bites.
They've just been attracted to you since you've been out here,
and you have no hair, no for nothing to block.
Speaker 5: What are these seasons eat when they can't have verbal man.
Speaker 3: Build insects got real bad. I assume you best best
into something to keep them off you. Yes, yeah, and
uh and Eddie's black and white. So I was really
just like they didn't even notice.
Speaker 2: That pressed the digitation blowing.
Speaker 4: And he naturally scares them away via and not showering.
Speaker 3: And you arrive at Crossing, and Crossing is a beautiful
little swamp city hasn't really changed much over the last
two thousand years.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 3: There's some more people living here now, but overall, I mean,
the life is just laid back here, pretty chill. There
are some Nope, I'm not going to say that out loud,
you might figure that out. So yeah, so you guys
roll into town. You as you near town, you do
get to a part on the cart path where the
road gets a little bit more solid. But you've also
found quite a few places while you're going walking where
it was really muddy and butted right up against really
just a waterway. So you've learned just from walking this
this bogway that a would have better suited you, or
a raft or something of that nature of barge to
be able to navigate the swamps.
Speaker 5: Maybe we can convert the cart.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe this Scriggley's supposed to be able to get
us around. So let's see what he has to say.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you walk into town and you see an
inn there, you see a restaurant there. You see this
huge emporium that's this just chilling there and it's got
some wacky flailing waving our inflatable tube men and I've
just butchered that. And it's got those hanging out front
with some you know, different dude ads and stuff up
on signs to show that they're just this wild emporium,
and it looks like it's stocked, just super stocked with
random stuff. Outside of that, you do see a merchant
shop that's there where if you need to resupply food
or torches or whatever, you could get that. And up
near the water you do see a travel merchant, travel
agent shop.
Speaker 2: Kay, that seems like probably the spot. But should we
hit the You said there's an inn, so you got
like a like a tavern like pub? Yep, should we
hit that? See? Uh, get the lay of the land first,
you know.
Speaker 4: Sure, the lay of the land.
Speaker 5: Huh, I could use a drink.
Speaker 2: The land is wet.
Speaker 3: As you guys near the tavern and in uh it's
called Smokey's Alehouse. And as you get closer you can
hear some live music and stuff side and some chatter
and people talking and laughing and just rock as tavern
and stuff happening. It's again it's not quite nighttime here,
but it's dinner definitely dinner time when you guys have
arrived at Crossing.
Speaker 5: Nice smells delicious inside does Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Everybody discern reality? Everybody give me a discerned reality?
Speaker 2: Is that based on? But I can base it on intelligence?
Speaker 4: Fuck fortune twelve.
Speaker 2: Six? All right?
Speaker 3: So Eddie and Uhra or not Eddie, Bill and new Rag.
As you're walking, I decided the corner of your eye,
you see a the head of what looks like a
turtle maybe something drop down into the sewer and the
sewer cover clothes back on it. Somebody hides away.
Speaker 5: Did you see that?
Speaker 2: I did see what.
Speaker 4: There's a.
Speaker 2: Waste, it's a swamp. There's gonna be.
Speaker 5: Turtle I know, no turtle head like turtle man.
Speaker 2: Oh like a guy. Yeah, the sewer. Yeah, place for
a guy here. He Okay, you think I don't know.
Speaker 4: We should probably check on him. You remember what happened
to us when we were in the sewer.
Speaker 2: Wait, when we were in the sewer, when we.
Speaker 4: Were sneaking in with a Yeah, that's right, when a
deer died.
Speaker 5: I mean, got hurt and didn't feel a thing.
Speaker 4: No one's ever been hurting my party. I don't know
what you almost got.
Speaker 2: Hurt and didn't actually nothing, nothing really happened.
Speaker 4: Probably when Adra did that sweet backflip to not lose
her arm.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that one.
Speaker 2: Uh, come and go over to the man Holy pointed out,
and I'm just gonna I'm gonna knock on it.
Speaker 3: You knock on it. Okay, you're a knockback.
Speaker 2: That doesn't seem normal.
Speaker 4: Hmm.
Speaker 3: But the knockback goes dunk da dunk dunk.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it. I want to knock three times,
just kidding.
Speaker 3: All right, So manhole cover opens up a little bit
and the total guy looks up.
Speaker 2: He's like, hey, hey, hey, what are you guys doing
up there? We're uh, what what?
Speaker 5: I'm kind of kind of wondering what you're doing down there?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm looking for the entrance, the entrance to what,
Oh you know, the secret bar, the speakeasy.
Speaker 2: Oh there, the speakeasy, yeah, ccart bar. Yeah, why is that?
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know, probably business man. It's it's pretty
well known own around here.
Speaker 2: Why would they keep it secret?
Speaker 3: That's how speakeasy's work?
Speaker 2: Yeah, why would they? I mean, is that necessary? Is
that bar over there?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: Goohd oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 3: I wasn't allowed to go in there today.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's the secret one.
Speaker 3: Oh, maybe it is.
Speaker 4: Do you have a reason to think that the speakeasy
would be in the sewer?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: Rumor has it? Legend has it there's a speakeasy and
the sewer here?
Speaker 4: M Do I know this legend? Do I know a
legend of a sewer sewer?
Speaker 6: Easy?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Maybe no, probably not.
Speaker 3: I have a nyeing, but yeah, no, probably it seems
that's a very local legend.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I never know.
Speaker 2: Good luck to you. I hope you find your speakeasy.
Speaker 3: Thanks. No, what my name is Bradley?
Speaker 2: Bradley is it? I'm Eddie. Nice to meet you.
Speaker 3: Good to see you, Eddie. All right, Well, if you
do find the speakeasy, make sure you knock that way.
That's how you get in.
Speaker 2: That's the that's the code not to get in. Okay, correct?
Speaker 4: So did you just knock back get us because you
thought this was the speakeasy?
Speaker 3: Well I wasn't sure. Like maybe if you guys knew
the past code or like knew how to get to
the speakeasy.
Speaker 2: No, it's just a lucky guess because we're not from
around here.
Speaker 3: Yeah I'm not either. No where you're from, I'm I'm
from Carcosa, Carcosa mm hmmm. Yeah have you ever been?
Speaker 2: Never been? Never been. I we just came from the
House of Ambers. Oh nice, nicest time to hear. Yeah. Nice.
Speaker 4: You're a little closer from a little closer around here.
You know anything about an anthem Knoxus?
Speaker 3: Oh there's a legend there. Yeah, oh body a legend.
Speaker 4: Sorry, you've never heard of anything?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 4: He's not real? Oh, I mean I don't know, I
mean never encountered him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, is is the master of the nine
live Scimitar reel. I mean people, what, yes, affirmative you've
confirmed that you've seen him.
Speaker 5: Man or her or they?
Speaker 4: I think so some guys, some guys, a gal of guys.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, maybe Anthonnoxis is real. Then it's just mostly
a legend in this.
Speaker 2: Part, Okay.
Speaker 4: I just wasn't sure if that was a you know,
we've heard the legends from further away, but I figured
if we were closer maybe it was more likely. Uh,
somebody had actually encountered it.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, if Anthnoxis is real, you guys should
make sure you have an offering with you.
Speaker 4: No, what's he like?
Speaker 3: I don't know, man, I've never met him.
Speaker 4: Oh, Anthonoxis we probably.
Speaker 3: Something, Yeah, I mean apparently he owns the a certain
unknown section of the swamp here and if you come
across him, you give got to give him an offering,
and if he doesn't like it, eats you.
Speaker 4: I don't like that. I don't like any eating.
Speaker 3: So he's a big bastard too For a legend. I mean,
it's just legend though, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they don't often make legends about tiny dragons.
Speaker 3: I mean, baby dragons are a legend, right, like they
have to be born sometime. What came first, the baby
dragon or the adult dragon?
Speaker 2: The egg?
Speaker 3: See, it's all about the egg.
Speaker 8: Man.
Speaker 4: Dragons probably resented, is it a dragon egg?
Speaker 5: Nobody knows about the egg?
Speaker 4: You didn't hear nothing, of course, not man.
Speaker 2: Anyway, listen, Bradley, you know anywhere we could park our
wagons and get these horses tended to and maybe not
turn into glue.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 3: You see that bank right.
Speaker 2: There, the bank, Yeah, bank tends to horses.
Speaker 3: No, behind it, there's a stable. You can't see it
from here.
Speaker 2: Oh, perfect, excellent, behind the bank. Gotcha. What about that
travel agent there? You know anything about that guy?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Wriggly That's how I came here.
I met with well Wrigley's brother, Squiggly.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 3: He's from the south west side of the swamp near Carcosa,
and he sent me up here.
Speaker 2: Gotcha. Well, all right, I appreciate your time, Bradley. Listen,
while you're in town and we're in town, you need anything,
you look us up r Yeah.
Speaker 3: Dude, I do need something. I need to find the
entrance to the speak.
Speaker 2: Easy anything else? Oh you look us up. Don't keep
an eye out for that though. While we're around.
Speaker 3: Let you know, remember he closes the lid and goes
dun da da dun dund thank you, He shouts from
under you're welcome here. Splash. He drops into the little
sewer water.
Speaker 2: And knock again. So he has to climb on the
way back.
Speaker 5: I figured we just walk up and leave them hanging.
Mm tweak as OCD.
Speaker 2: Guys. Guys, all right, so should we go get the horses,
stables and whatnot? The wagons? Think care of go talk
to Wrigley.
Speaker 5: Sure, let's see go back behind the bank and see
what's happening back there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, so you head over towards the stable.
Speaker 5: Yeah, alright.
Speaker 3: This old lady comes out and there's no other animals
in the stable at all, and she's like, oh, hello,
how's it going.
Speaker 2: No, it's called just grand we Uh. We had a
couple of horses here, some wagons that we need somewhere
to park.
Speaker 3: Oh well you can park them here, absolutely.
Speaker 2: Yeah. How much I'm gonna ruin.
Speaker 3: Us one golden day apart horse?
Speaker 2: That seems reasonable?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 3: Do you have feed or do you need me to
feed them?
Speaker 2: Oh, you'd have to feed them too to day too
gold a day per horse too, gold a day per horse?
All right, Yeah, deer is not here, so sure, Yeah,
fourk overs gold for I don't know three days. There
we go, there's six twelve gold.
Speaker 3: Sweet, thank you so much. My name is Granny Fickle.
Speaker 2: Grannie Fickle. Hey, wait a second, you do you do
run the stable? Right? Yes? Absolutely, wasn't Granny Fickle, you
see honest, So I'm gonna take your word for it.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 4: Do you know where the speakeasy is?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's down on the sewer.
Speaker 4: You just just down in it.
Speaker 3: So there's a sewer. If you go over by the
inn behind it, there's a sewer entrance, just a small
grate you can lift it up. You go down there,
go down to the sewer.
Speaker 6: Oh man, it's.
Speaker 3: Been years since I've climbed down there, maybe three or
four years since you know, old ground. But Pickles died and.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry for your loss. Get really emotional.
Speaker 3: But anyway, we used to go on dates down there.
You take get down to the bottom of the sewer
and then you walk south and then you get to
the second left. You take that left and you go
down for about I think it's two rights. Once you
get to the second right, you take that right and
there will be a door on the left.
Speaker 4: That is wonderful to hear. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Then once you're in that room, you have to go
down the ladder that takes you to the sub level
where then you go into the hallway and then you'll
find the door.
Speaker 4: To the speakeasy. Okay, perfect. I appreciate you giving me
directions like a normal human with a completely reasonable tempo.
That was very helpful.
Speaker 3: You're welcome.
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry about your loss of your sewer dates.
I'm gonna go drink.
Speaker 5: The south the second left and two rights will be
the door on the left, down the ladder. Hit the
next door, got it?
Speaker 3: It was down a sub level right when you did. Yeah,
that's what I remembered.
Speaker 2: But extter space man, Well, you guys want to drink
it is boring in or go find a speakeasy.
Speaker 4: That's uh. I kind of want to go help our
turtle friend. I think he might die.
Speaker 2: He might, he might he seems that was what did
you think that was? The sewer entrance was talking about
it's over by the end. I think that's the one
that's a different sewer. No, that's not the one. All right,
let's go, let's go holler at. Yeah, we'll go pull
that grat up or the manhole cover and holler down
for Bradley and Bradley Bradley. Yeah, we found out where
the speakeasy is.
Speaker 3: Oh nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I told you we're good for something.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I didn't tell you that, but I applied it.
Speaker 3: Well, are you coming down?
Speaker 2: No? You got to come back up sewer? All right?
Speaker 3: One have you?
Speaker 4: Have you not moved from the bottom of this ladder?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I didn't eve I'm coming.
Speaker 4: Who would come for so long? You got five feet turtle?
Speaker 3: So he crawls up and uh, he's got this rope
with him and he gets up to the top and
he yanks this rope and it's got like a backpack,
and it's got like this travel pack, and it's got
a pair of shoes to come up after it. And
then it's got this harness that he can wear when
he's rock climbing, and it's got the saddle that you
can put on a horse. And then he pulls it
up and there's a little treasure box at the very end,
and he's like, oh no, I lost my tent down there.
Speaker 2: It's an interesting way to pack all that's okay, and
all that type.
Speaker 5: I thought of a bendle.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what my tent was in.
Speaker 2: We lost your bendle too. Was that type of the rope.
Speaker 3: Was at the very end? Something must have got it.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 2: We we found out. We got some some reliable intel
on the whereabouts of that speakeasy. It seems this is
the wrong sewer. We gotta go the other side of
the inn over here.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, let's go.
Speaker 2: We'll go on and uh.
Speaker 4: Somebody else lead the way. I'm not I'm not killing
it with directions.
Speaker 2: Go on down, and you seem to have memorize those directions.
Speaker 3: All right. So he's walking and he's following you guys
and everything. He's just holding the end of the rope though,
so it's all dragging behind him, like planking and rattling
and stuff as he's walking.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So, uh, yeah, we're going to the end. I thought
you said the speaky Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we gotta go to the other sewer on the
other side.
Speaker 3: Of the Oh, I see, I see cool, let's do this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my head down there and there and open up
that man hole and all right, so he starts like
pushing all of his rope in there.
Speaker 3: It all falls down first and clanks to the bottom,
and he crawls in all slowly and.
Speaker 2: He just shoves it over there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's not gentle, not gentle at all.
Speaker 4: And when he starts to climb down the ladder, I'm
going to climb down the rope. Oh I thought it
was tied onto him to No, No, he was carrying it.
Speaker 2: He's just dragging one end of it, but just shove
the whole thing down till it was happy enough down
there to pull the rest of it drag.
Speaker 4: Okay, I got I thought it was just like all
all dragging behind him and he was just tied around
his waist or something. You know, it's just manually.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's what an interesting way to pack.
Speaker 5: Well, I'll be no shopping carts.
Speaker 2: So it's hard to overpack. When you run out of rope,
you know you've got enough.
Speaker 3: Stuff, yeah, or you need a longer rope.
Speaker 2: What if you need more stuff? I better not. I'm
out of rope.
Speaker 5: Tie some more to the end.
Speaker 3: And you lose it like he lost his bindle and
his tent.
Speaker 5: Oh he's not good with knots.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's not Captain tie in knots.
Speaker 2: Definitely not. Oh.
Speaker 3: You guys get to the sewer and it's a pretty
standard sewer, wide enough for three of you to walk
down side by side easily, but the center of it
does have a trickle of water going, so you just
stick to the sides to keep your feet wet or dry. Eddie,
cast light.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna cast light. I got a tend to
cast that.
Speaker 3: Oh man, that's pretty sweet.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It helps to be able to see things.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you sure to conjure that light.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a that's a fairy, that's a pixie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, I'm not saying anything.
Speaker 2: No, that's how I do it. I can't iconder invisible pixies,
but they're light is Is.
Speaker 3: That why you guys we're looking for anthornoxes?
Speaker 2: No, we just heard there was a dragon and not
to get eaten by it. Okay, what the dragon have
to do with pixies?
Speaker 3: Nothing? Nothing? Man, speakeasy right, yeah, yeah, speak easy, all right.
Speaker 4: Smooth, follow the sewer.
Speaker 5: Rat to go on fire bolt? Uh, fire bug?
Speaker 4: Does it not have carapis. Then how does that work? Yeah,
it's be pink, be pink.
Speaker 3: Oh your hair hasn't sorted growing yet? No wait oh yeah,
it's spent three days, so you're starting to grow pink hair.
Speaker 4: Pink stubble stumble, got to think buzz all over.
Speaker 3: And it's itchy between the bugs and your new hair
growing back. Awful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, fuzzy rat.
Speaker 5: I've been miserable.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm yep. Every time he use a bathroom, a
little pink hairs left on the toilet.
Speaker 5: They're all over his tub.
Speaker 4: I'm installing a lock. Do you look so sad?
Speaker 3: So you guys follow the directions.
Speaker 2: Yea, yep, okay.
Speaker 3: As you follow the directions, you get down the path,
down the extra tunnel, down the ladder, into the next tunnel,
and to the speakeasy without any combat.
Speaker 4: Nice Jack, that's what you thought. We have to kill
the turtle.
Speaker 5: Not you've seeing too much.
Speaker 2: He knows, well, Bradley, here's that speakeasy you we're looking for.
Speaker 3: I want to do it. Man knock, Donna, knock, knock,
And so he just opens the door, like, what's going on?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 3: Just come in? He's like, oh, he just knocks it
twice as he walks through.
Speaker 2: I would have pat him on the back. M M yeah,
good jock.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Welcome to the Underground. Crossing's number one speakeasy used
to be back in the day. This was like where
the Thieves Guild was. Have you guys ever been here before?
Speaker 2: No? First time?
Speaker 3: First time? Sweet. Let me get your T shirts. It's
ten gold each to get in.
Speaker 4: I'll give you the ten gold, but you have to
promise not to give me a T shirt.
Speaker 3: Well, not my T shirt.
Speaker 2: Man, not hold on to his four of It's fine,
it's wonderful. A right, you're right back.
Speaker 4: Hey, he's got two so polyester, Well.
Speaker 2: Do you have this in a small and non vernable? Actually,
polyester is perfect. We'll be at one for a dear,
all right.
Speaker 3: So he brings back four T shirts. He's like, this
one's polyester small, This one's tourtal sized. It goes around
the shell, so you're good. This one is pink, it
matches you're you. And then here's a medium, just black
with white text.
Speaker 2: Perfect. Great guy knows the pink guy knows his customers something.
Speaker 3: The way it works here, all drinks are too gold
and you just tell them what you want. To drink.
They'll make you up whatever you want like, they'll makes it,
make it really good. If you're liking the performance. There's
a woman singing at the at the bar, make sure
to tip the performers. She's wonderful. Her name is Fay.
She's an elf.
Speaker 6: And then.
Speaker 3: Don't go down the ladder that's over there.
Speaker 2: Why what's down the ladder?
Speaker 3: There's just some recent flooding in the third lower level recently.
And oh yeah, yeah, I want to stay away from that.
Speaker 2: Ten to four.
Speaker 3: Well, all right, well, it's really nice to meet you guys.
You guys, have fun, hit the bar, and don't forget
to leave us a review. On your way out. Just
sign the guestbook and say nice things.
Speaker 2: Good deal, all right, thanks for the one welcome. Won't
put that T shirt on over my all everything I'm
wearing just right over time and head to the bar.
Speaker 3: Our heroes will return after these messages. Hey there, it's
Neako again. If you'd like to skip the ads next time,
as well as support our show, you should check out
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fools quest dot com. And now that the commercials are
out of the way, it's time to dive back into
the foolishness. See head of the bar. There's another female
elf that's back there. So you've got one singing one
behind the bar. And she's like, what can I get
your sugar?
Speaker 2: I'm letta slap down two gold and say, pangle acted
gargle blaster.
Speaker 8: The best drink in existence is the pangalectic goggled blast,
the effect of which is like having your brain smashed
out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large
gold break.
Speaker 3: All right, coming right up?
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, can I have a kniac in diet coke?
Speaker 3: Absolutely too gold please? So she takes two empty cups,
sets them in front of you. They're both different cups,
ones like fancy, like the gargle blaster comes in like
this martini glass and uh, the kognac and coke comes
in just a normal whiskey glass like you guys, you
guys want ice?
Speaker 2: Uh you know, however, whatever is the whatever, whatever's the
local custom?
Speaker 3: No, I see your boys, And she casts a little
spell summons your two drinks, lam slides them forward to you.
Speaker 2: Just conjured the panguac and gargo blaster. Hey, uh, I
still haven't learned that conjured drink spell. Do you think
later you could? You could help me with that? Just
gotta copy that out of your spell book.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sweetie, I don't see why not. You're one of us.
Speaker 2: Well, of course, I mean, what am I gonna do
with a spell if I can't cast it?
Speaker 3: Well, I haven't seen you around here before. What's your name?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, well, my name's Eddie and I just got
into town. We're we're from out you know, just a
little way south by the glue factory.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm, okay. How's how's old Elmer's boys doing?
Speaker 2: Oh, we don't have much truck with them there.
Speaker 5: We didn't play ball with them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this situation with us and them is kind of sticky,
so we you know, but that's where we're from. But
we mostly mostly kept away from them as much as
we could.
Speaker 3: Is the strike still happening?
Speaker 2: Seems like it seemed pretty empty we passed by.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen any of those goblin boys anyway around
here in quite some time. It's a tragedy.
Speaker 2: I tell you, were they pretty good customers here?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 3: They were great customers, great customers.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll have to get a look at that spell
book years whenever you get a chance.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, my name is tell Nika, and if
you need anything at all.
Speaker 2: Just let me know tell Meka. Thank you very much.
Speaker 3: Oh did you want to drink?
Speaker 2: Sweetheart?
Speaker 5: I'll have what they're having together. Yeah, just mix it together,
big glass.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: We usually use a bucket for her as I'm too.
Speaker 5: Ordering, I'm struggling putting a shirt on antlers.
Speaker 3: She brings over a small bucket, sets it in front
of you. It conjures up your gargle blaster and your
conac and coke, and she puts a giant straw on there.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 9: Well I just got like the shirt dangling off on
one side, so it's like that's not gonna work.
Speaker 3: Okay, I really like what you've you know what. There
you go, y'all have a good drink now, thanks?
Speaker 4: Do you allow busking?
Speaker 3: A busking?
Speaker 2: Is that what you said?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Can I can I play? Can I can you
play it?
Speaker 2: Play?
Speaker 4: I can't play music?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah you can do that. One phase done
with her set, she'll be on breaking five.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm gonna wait till past done with your set.
Performed the ballad of the Master of Amber's Conquering. Why
am I blanking on his name right now? I j yeah,
that's the one.
Speaker 3: Bradley h doesn't even order a drink. He goes up
to where the music is being played and he starts
like dancing. But he's just dancing. It's not appropriate to
the music that's being played. She's just like seeing kind
of like a jazz, but like a high eleven jazz,
very classy. And he gets down on his turtle and
starts on the shell and starts spinning, you know, like
a turtle. And he gets up, or he stops spinning
and he tries to get up, but then he's like stuck. Guys, Hey, guys,
I got you a little.
Speaker 5: You're doing great, Bradley, spin them again.
Speaker 4: Oh, I think you need some of that wax here,
that's what it's for.
Speaker 2: Well, you don't have a drink after that long long
tripped the crossing. So we got to go to Rigway
and get transportation, and we got to I mean, while
we're here, I'm gonna figure out where Conjuration's infinite scroll
boyers right. But I think when we do figure that out,
just from the sounds of the political situation, it seems
like we could maybe flip the Conjuration nation onto our side.
So maybe instead of confiscating their scroll. I don't know,
we'll see about that.
Speaker 5: Very allied with the duration nation we took theirs.
Speaker 2: That's true, that's true, and I mean it would be
in danger here. This is surrounded there, so it might
be best for gas. Yeah, we might be able to We
might be able to flip them though.
Speaker 4: Is it just me? Or do you want to go
down the ladder?
Speaker 2: I kind of want to go down.
Speaker 4: I really want to go down the ladder.
Speaker 2: I prepared visibility today, so I'm gonna cast it on Bill.
I'm gonna wait till no one's real close.
Speaker 3: I was looking really so in the room there are
about six other people, not including Faye, tell me, Gut
and Bradley. Several of them are in conversation stuff like that.
The way the room is set up, there's a stage
now that's off towards the side. You've got the main
bar area there, and then you've got just tables and
some seats at the rail. There aren't a whole lot
of places to hide. But you could step out side
in the hallway and come back in if you want to.
Speaker 2: Up out for a sec. Let's do that powder our noses.
I might have might have goofed up with Bradley, but
I think we can get him drunk enough he'll forget.
I'm paying for Bradley's drinks, by the way.
Speaker 3: Okay, keep him coming thro the rags, just spinning him
and making him dead, right.
Speaker 2: So out Bill and I go to the hallway, and
I'm gonna cast invisibility on him. That's a ten, all right, Bill,
you're invisible.
Speaker 8: All right.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm gonna sneak over and try and wait
until well.
Speaker 3: The ladder down is it covered in any way or
I can just it's not covered at all. It's like
a just an opening in the floor that continues on down.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go down.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna talk to him next to me, because I
don't know if he's already gone. Just remember it might
actually be wet. If it's not wet, there could be
all kinds of creeping crawlings down there. It's a sewer
in the swamp.
Speaker 3: But she's gone, Yeah, So you're just talking to yourself
at the bar. Bill's gone down the line. Her uas
spinning Bradley Bill. You get down there and it is dark.
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm mm hmmm. I like that.
Speaker 2: Uh, just open your eyes wider. Yeah, how does that?
Speaker 3: I mean, didn't you have that lighter thing going through
your entire inventory looking for something to make light?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I used up the stickballs.
Speaker 5: That's not a candle.
Speaker 3: Using dynamite for light.
Speaker 2: A cartoon trophy.
Speaker 5: Of the Little Science says, yikes.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna damn. I should have gotten a T shirt
that could have lit it off fire.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm in a.
Speaker 4: Turned around and the ladder made out of wood.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Try and get it wrung free, all right, just strength Check'll.
Speaker 5: Do a strength check. Just destroyed your way back up.
Speaker 4: One rung is not my whole way back up. I
rolled a ten, so that's nine.
Speaker 3: H It's a partial success. So you definitely yanked it off.
But when you yank it off, it also disconnects the
bottom part that was bolted to the wall down there,
like rips the bolts from the wood and makes the
ladder very unstable for trying to climb up or down,
which may come into play later.
Speaker 4: See I told him stronger. I wasn't strong. I told
him I was strong. I'm being mothering to myself as
I pulled the stick out and then just slightly with
my glasses and the fastright.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that lights it on fire. You're successful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, I'm gonna look around now.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're down there. There is some water. It's
it's a little it's about shin high, middle of your shin,
so it's easy to navigate, but you can't see the
floor at all in this little tunnel that you're at.
You do see some you see a marking on the
far wall, so the you can go when you get
down the stairs, you can go to your right by
about ten steps, and then there's a wall there that
looks like it's caved in where water seems to be
seeping in from. And then to your left the hallway
extends down and then has his like goes to a
t intersection where you go right or left and you
can't really see right or left. But on the right
the wall that has the cave in. One of the
stones has a symbol marked on it, which is an
a or it's like an upside is Uh, like the
top part of an A without the line to the center. Man,
how do I I guess it's an upside down V
HM with a normal V in the center of it.
To like like it's an A, but it's a V
in the middle of it. So a bigger upside down
V with a smaller correct side V. That makes it
look like an A with It's like the Mason's symbol.
Speaker 4: Right, do I recognize the symbol?
Speaker 3: No? You do not recognize the symbol. And there's a
circle around it.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna just investigate at bit closer and see
if I see any other marketings by it.
Speaker 3: No, that's only marketing. It's down there. Okay for you listeners,
I'll put in our discord and on our social media
or something. No, probably just Discord, but I'll put it
on Discord because I'm really bad at explaining symbols.
Speaker 2: It turns out, so.
Speaker 4: That's the symbol. It's not magic. Right, I'm gonna poke it.
Speaker 3: Uh, you poke it and it starts to slow. You're
whispering to him and he's not here, correct, I just
keep talking.
Speaker 2: To each other.
Speaker 4: I thought he was invisible too.
Speaker 2: I could have said that wasn't because someone had to
open the door.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would look weird.
Speaker 4: Okay, so it starts glowing, but that's all that happens, yep, Okay, weird.
I'm gonna turn around and kind of try and stealthily
scout down the next little corridor a little bit and
just look down the two keys.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you go and you scout down the corridor
and you're there for a minute or two looking, listening,
and eventually you see the little bouncing, jittery light moving
in your.
Speaker 4: Direction, balancing jitterally light. Is it like in the water.
Speaker 3: Or is that like the end of the tunnel coming
your way? Maybe like a torch, like somebody's about to
round a corner and then you're gonna see them walking.
Speaker 2: Into the tunnel.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna put out my torch and hug close
to the wall and watch.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you put out your torch, just make some
smoke and you can smell stuff. And after a little bit,
this person comes walking down a dwarf. She's got long
braided hair, beautiful braided beard, and she comes trudging through
the sewer, takes a right turn and walks right over
to where the stairwell or to the ladder is and
she like looks up the ladder but stays out of you,
so if anybody looks down, they can't see her. And
she looks at the glowing thing. She goes over to
the little sigil and she touches it twice in a
specific area, and the glow turns off, and she's like, weird,
there's no one here, all right, back to what I
was doing. And she turns around and trudges back off
towards the shoes.
Speaker 4: We all right, So I'm going to wait until it
seems like she's out of earshot and then make my
way back to the ladder. Okay, I'm gonna climb the
rickety ladder.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, let's go ahead and make a dexterity check.
Speaker 4: Thirteen.
Speaker 3: All right, so thirteen you you feel it kind of
pulling off the wall, but you're able to skid that
all your way on up with no problems at all,
you lucky duck.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna get up there and walk up to
where I assume Eddie is still talking to me.
Speaker 2: Just remember, I mean it might just be flooded.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm back.
Speaker 2: He's something weird going on some kind of what what
I'm back?
Speaker 5: What do you mean you're back?
Speaker 4: There was a there was a dwarf. There's a girl dwarf.
Speaker 2: Hobs would be intrigued.
Speaker 4: No, so I got down there. You didn't send me
with a light.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I thought you'd have a light.
Speaker 4: Why would I have a light.
Speaker 2: How am I going to send you with a light.
You're invisible? You've had a light invisible. We'll get the
new now you don't have light.
Speaker 4: Ten seconds ago when you were giving away our secret,
you had a light.
Speaker 2: But now you you want me send you it down
with an invisible light? What couls the invisible light?
Speaker 5: Girls? Girls were both.
Speaker 4: It's an invisible yes, all right, there's a girl dwarf
down there. There was some kind of symbol. I got
down there. It was flooded. There's a cave and there
was a symbol. I touched it. It started glowing. Then
I went down and there was like a ta cavern,
And then I saw a light coming. So I put
out a rung of the ladder that I found that
had broken away, that I had used as a torch,
and and and then the girl dwarf came down and
she turned off the light, and she seemed mad that
it was on.
Speaker 2: And then she laughed, mad that the light was on.
What did the light looked like?
Speaker 4: It was a glowing symbol. Here, give me your finger.
I'm gonna drop me air for you, just because the onlookers.
What the fuck?
Speaker 2: Just spill a little drink on the counter. Does this
draw with that? Real quick? Invisible guy draw with that?
I guess. Do I recognize the sible at all?
Speaker 3: Nope?
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I started blowing. All I did was touch
it and started blowing, and.
Speaker 2: Then Dwarf came and turned it back off. Yeah, did
she say anything?
Speaker 4: She looked up the ladder and then yeah, she said.
She said back to what she was doing, something about
that was weird, and how she hates black and white.
Speaker 2: All right, this isn't Dwarf. We should associate.
Speaker 3: Bradley throws up.
Speaker 2: He's spinning.
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 2: I was just gonna say, I'm probably somewhere holding Bradley's
hair for him. Yeah, this seals he's.
Speaker 5: Trying to hold his head there he dropped the bowl.
Speaker 3: You gotta hold his head up otherwise it talks into
a shell and it's inside.
Speaker 10: Yeah, it takes for It takes weeks to get the
smell out, all right, Hey.
Speaker 2: Tell me yeah, fun. Uh you guys don't have it
rent rooms or anything, do you.
Speaker 3: Oh no, you gotta go to the Rio tavern for
sorry and nuts.
Speaker 2: I was helping, you know. It was all those lighters
to climb. I know you guys had another floor or whatever.
Wasn't sure if there was more.
Speaker 3: We just used that down there, that stock room area
down there. When we did. We didn't go far though.
There's actual monsters and stuff kind of down if you
get too.
Speaker 2: Deep, you know, I'm saying monsters down there.
Speaker 3: That's for those rumors, rumors. We don't send people down
too often. I'll be There was a cave in that
happened a couple of weeks back. That's where the storeroom was,
and it's all caved in.
Speaker 2: Now, Oh well.
Speaker 5: Why don't you play it out.
Speaker 3: It's just a lot of work, and honestly, I mean,
it's not like we have to have a whole lot
of stock. We just stopped serving food. We just only
kind of drinks here now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, speaking, how about that spell book?
Speaker 3: Uh oh yeah, let me go grab that for you.
She brings up sick here here it is right here?
How long is he will take you to copy it down?
Speaker 2: No, maybe forty five minutes?
Speaker 6: All right?
Speaker 2: What is that like a first level spell?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kondra Booze.
Speaker 5: You will never go without whiskey again.
Speaker 4: He never went without whiskey to begin with.
Speaker 2: It's fair all right, perfect, So I'll copy that bill.
Were you you're performing up there?
Speaker 4: I'm having business?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, oh, let you outside and I'll just
let it drop. I'm gonna I'm gonna step outside and.
Speaker 4: Pull a flower on me so you can see me.
Speaker 2: Now, just stop concentrating on the spell. But yeah, I'm
gonna throw flower on here.
Speaker 3: I'm a goose, all right, So you step outside? Was
a flower in your base? And uh? Turn you turn around,
come right back inside. You're no longer invisible and uh
and yeah, And Faye wraps up her song and Bradley
is done throwing up. And what do you do? Bill
to you for your performance? For your performance?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna get up and give a big performance.
Get all the attention. H Yeah, I'm gonna tell the
tell the tale of the Brave Master of the House
of Members Sailing across turbulent seas to fight uh Magnus
Devlin and defeat him and bring down his evil.
Speaker 2: Layer from a no more evocation boogeyman.
Speaker 4: For now, for now, Well I'm doing could I could
I read that stuff in the right spell and just
shake people's heads clear of their alcohol.
Speaker 3: Alcohol? Yeah, sober.
Speaker 2: Buzz kill. Hey, no tell me is gonna be thrilled
because everyone's gonna buy drinks again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody's like entranced by your story, right if you're successful,
So let's do it so they won't be mad. Uh eight,
so a complication. We're gonna say that you perform perfectly. Fine,
tell the story. Everybody pays attention to the story. And
then they all sober.
Speaker 6: Up the.
Speaker 7: Take of the bray dances of the household saying acrosstgan
and ceased.
Speaker 6: To find back the staff.
Speaker 3: He turn and bringing down.
Speaker 6: His heir, And now.
Speaker 3: You're not drunk, my more drinks, and don't forgets a tip.
Speaker 6: You're way run.
Speaker 3: But then they all start feeling sad and they're like,
that was such a great story and now it's over
and I don't even feel drunk anymore. I'm not happy,
Like I just I think I need.
Speaker 5: To call it a night.
Speaker 4: It's a ballad. You're not supposed to be.
Speaker 11: Happy, Like four of them get up and leave. M M,
what's happening.
Speaker 2: All this?
Speaker 4: You leave for the wrinkling pink moule rep.
Speaker 3: And we don't judge. I mean, you just got songs.
You don't judge people's appearances around here.
Speaker 5: You're just mean.
Speaker 4: Listen, listen the number of things I've had to look
at because of you. I don't want to hear it
walking around with a skin cape in public, in the
goddamn kitchen.
Speaker 5: All right, capable sick.
Speaker 3: So you finish your performance, you guys, finish your drinks, ye,
anything else you want to do down here before you
head back up?
Speaker 2: And I don't think so. I think it's time to
head up to that in and get a room.
Speaker 6: Huh.
Speaker 2: And then I look up to Rigley in the morning.
Speaker 3: All right, So you guys head up, you hit the end,
you get it in or you get a room for
the night. And uh. And here's a good place to
call it d out.
Speaker 9: This concludes this episode of a Fools Quest, and join
us next time for more fun and daring adventure. Thank
you for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review,
and comment on your favorite platform to listen to a
fools quest.
Speaker 3: Is my dog about to pass out?
Speaker 2: He's so happy about the popcorn? Yeah, he's doing it.
Speaker 3: Is he eating it? Suck at him?
Speaker 7: He made it?
Speaker 3: His brain is broken for wobbly for fudge.
Speaker 2: For all you.
Speaker 3: Listeners out there, Uh, nico here, my dog has narcilepsy.
So when he gets a treat like popcorn that my
son just gave him a few pieces of popcorn, Uh,
he'll bite into like one or two and then pass
out and claps on the ground.
Speaker 5: Just get up.
Speaker 2: It's too excited, way too excited.
Speaker 5: He's so happy.
Speaker 3: Yep. Anyway, he's so cute.
Speaker 4: Popcorn thrown.
Speaker 3: He's fine though, as you guys, oh you want to
hear some Sometimes when he poops, he gets he feels
really good to feel like. He'll poop outside in the grass,
walk away a couple of steps, and then just pass out.
Speaker 2: Poor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, have you ever pooped so good you
just passed out?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're not living.
Speaker 4: Okay I hadn't, but I hadn't considered as an option.
Speaker 3: But from here on out, that's the goal, right after all,
I'm doing poop so good, I pass out immediately thereafter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, breaks at work.
Speaker 4: No, those are for planking.
Speaker 3: There, he is, nice job, Tony.
Speaker 2: Hooray.
Speaker 3: Now it's a game night, all right, would you do?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm real tired my ship.
Speaker 2: I spilled things more ridiculously than any other adults of ever.
Mat sometimes that Ritzy and I bumped the table and like,
my drink started to spill, so I grabbed it, and
but I grabbed it like that the star froam Cops.
Speaker 3: I've sat down at the bar before. I went to
grab my drink and immediately tipped it over and knocked
it off. And it's like I haven't even had a
drink yet. I'm definitely not drunk. Like I know, I
probably looked drunk at a bar spilling my full beer everywhere,
But nope, I'm just an idiot.
Speaker 2: I'm just dumb, like every time I go to the bar.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you do spill a drink all the time at
the bar. It's impressive. Sometimes it's just water. Sometimes you
just spill your water everywhere. Your depth perception