Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons, throwing some ice,
mixing some vodkas. Colored The podcast from the Mac of
All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler Dots,
Jupe ram It's Billified, the Bill Moran Podcast.
Speaker 2: Well, Hello, welcome and Happy New Year. Dougie fresh in
the house.
Speaker 3: Whoo, Happy new Year, my friend. Send the kids to
the neighbors and lock the doors. Let's get I gotta
turn this up.
Speaker 4: A little bit.
Speaker 3: I'm getting older, buddy, Okay, yeah, I got you.
Speaker 4: Go to hear you. I gotta feel you know.
Speaker 2: Ah, how's that you're feeling you a little lower lower?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Now I feel the power the pet through my veins.
Speaker 2: The uh and not.
Speaker 4: Just the dirty martinis.
Speaker 2: Did you have a good How long can you say
Happy New Year to people? Do you go to like
the tenth? Maybe Happy New Year because you're not gonna
see a lot of people to the fifth anyway?
Speaker 3: You know what it's I was thinking about this the
other day. Yeah, I know it's there are there are
some grumps. Yeah, and uh, I don't want to mention
any names.
Speaker 4: They won't be listening, you know, but uh, Doug phelps
my boss for So.
Speaker 3: He comes around the bar yesterday and he's still had
Christmas music and he goes, well, that's enough of that
for this year. And I get it once it's over,
but you know, one more day, especially now this world,
then try to claim it a little bit of Christmas feeling. Yeah,
you know, as we were brought up third forty fifty
years ago, you know, help thy neighbor, help thy friend,
all that stuff. So now it's you know, it's just
getting through the holidays and you go to the department
store they're they're putting up Valentine's d.
Speaker 4: Ship for Are they really a dollar store?
Speaker 3: Because I still had to get some oh I think
some wrapping paper and stuff like that.
Speaker 4: So huh yeah, well, I mean right, you know, you
just spent your money. Start spending it again. Let's go going.
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, I want to tell you I kept the
economy going. I I Ubert you did. I had some
interesting ubers. Actually I was wa we're gonna.
Speaker 3: Okay, So before we just started, I told Bill I
had an interesting uber story. Yeah, he says, I got
one for you. So we're gonna see who has the
most interesting.
Speaker 2: You may have the most interesting. I'm looking from a
passenger side. I mean, this car pulls up. It's a jeep,
and I'm kind of excited because it was a day
that the weather wasn't great. I love jeeps, but this
one had what I believe was a removable hardtop for
the back, and I could feel the weather inside the vehicle. Yeah,
I could feel that, and not rain, but condensation, like
big thick drops of condensation.
Speaker 4: Did you say anything?
Speaker 2: I did, not peppering me like I was a piece
of fucking meat steak. You're just getting ready to serve,
you know what I mean. It's just like dripping, drip
and dripping, and uh we pull off and immediately he
fish tails out and comes back in. And this guy
is like, he's unflustered, and I don't want to say
anything because it was.
Speaker 3: A liard this last night to a friend of mine
took a uber ride New Year's Eve as shows he
was terrible, going way too fast in the weather.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the weather was She.
Speaker 3: Didn't want to say anything, right, I'm like, why not
tell him to slow down?
Speaker 4: At your life too?
Speaker 2: Uh yeah. So I'm thinking to myself, well, this could
get interesting because he's had big knobby tires on there,
but then as he fish tails out, I get just
it just comes sprang on to me. So now I'm
drip dripping. I'm like, what is going on? Now? I
had taken an uber on New Year's Eve. That person
writes me and says, uh, I'm gonna be a little longer.
The previous passenger forgot his wallet, so I said, no problem,
and she came. She was fantastic and the weather was
kind of shitty. But this guy was like pooh, And then.
Speaker 4: Where did you rate him? One?
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know what I rated him, because when
you're the passenger, you don't panic. You can't. You gotta
shut your face. You don't have to all Jesus. I
drove with my mother to Virginia and we hit a
lot of snow and she was white knuckling and going
the visibility is so bad. And what did you worried
about it? It's fine that we're driving. We may have
to stay at a hotel. I go, no, we're not
staying in a hotel. This will end. We're gonna be okay.
I don't know, as you know, on the outside, I'm
trying to act cool, calm and collected. On the inside,
I'm starting to think of every decision that got me
into this uber already. You know what I'm saying, every
decision I did, like along the way, and I'm thinking,
do I say something or not? And so once we're
kind of back, I, you know, because what are you
gonna do? You're gonna be the backseat driver? Hey man,
quick note here when you hit that. So I don't
know what the roads are, you know, so I did.
All I said to him was roads are kind of
slick today, huh. And what I'm really trying to say
is I'd like both of us to continue participating in society.
And he's got like this great energy, his elbows just down,
he's one hand on the window. He's like, yeah, no problem,
we're good. And uh, I don't know. I'm fully braced.
I got my core and you're wet. I'm wet. I
got my core. Well it's dripping on me, fucking droplets.
Speaker 3: Okay, right, a one, and then you gotta contact everybody
like I was in the backseat.
Speaker 4: I'm getting dripped on.
Speaker 3: I want my money back and they will refund you
that you shouldn't be paying for that.
Speaker 2: Oh really? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Oh I think gets in trouble.
Speaker 2: Oh fucking well, well, okay, can you still do it?
Yays after Yes, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I been.
Speaker 3: I'm on the balance. I don't want to get this
guy in trouble. But there again, I just had to
get my shirt drag clean because I'm dripping through his.
Speaker 2: I had a coat on.
Speaker 3: You don't know that my pants, your coat got drag clean.
You know it was unprofessional and you go to your
next step. Then you're all wet.
Speaker 4: What are you gonna do? Sit at somebody's couch Now
the couch is wet. I'd be pissed. I'm like, what
the fuck? Pull over? Fix this?
Speaker 2: Well okay, but as the passenger, I'll ask you this.
I feel like the passenger, especially when a cars like
spins or something happens. You have no power. You can't
reach over and grab the fucking wheel like that would
be weird, and you really shouldn't say anything from the
back seat. I try never to criticize. First of all,
I thought, how many.
Speaker 3: Slow down which a couple of people have over six years? Okay,
can I slowing Down'm like, no, no problem, Sorry, I
got a little a little fast so or yesterday somebody said,
you know, I don't know why they're not taking you.
Speaker 2: One of four.
Speaker 3: Now it's a six minute trip. He wants to me
to get out, wonderfo or go down, get off. We're
not saving half an hour. Your job is to get
me from point A to point B. I go, sir,
I've been driving for six years. I'm pretty sure I
know how this works.
Speaker 2: And shut up. He did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I don't think he gave me a bad rating,
although although in the past month I was at A
I've gone up some points believing, well, that's good because
at A four point ninety three and I wasn't a
four point eight nine.
Speaker 2: There was one point I did think, if this ends,
I'm gonna put down five stars because he got me there.
All I was thinking was the whole way as him
getting wet and stuff. And I was going home and
I'm thinking, I go, wow, what do you care? You're
saying He's like, you're gonna be fine, just just give home.
Speaker 4: What about the next guy? What if he's entire or whatever.
Speaker 2: I don't think he was drunk or high, just a
bad driver. I just think that his car was soaked
on the inside. Yeah, it's like that was gross. That
was the first time I had ever seen it.
Speaker 3: So if your mother's the next passage, you your mom
to get off wet, right expression.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean at one point I go, well, I'm
no longer in a jeep. I'm in a physics project.
Speaker 4: As we're right.
Speaker 2: But so you say, as an uber driver that there
should be a complaint for that. That's what you're telling me,
there should be a complaint. Yeah, okay, because I think
my my uh little thing was like, I'm just gonna
tip him the lowest amount. So I tipped him two bucks.
Speaker 3: And you tipped them and you got wet. Yeah, but
I want to drive people like you all day long.
Speaker 2: Well I'm just thinking, okay, I don't know. I don't know.
I'm like the guy tipped him for getting you wet.
Some people paid my love Oh yeah, uh yeah, I
guess I did because the other drivers like I usually
give the highest tip. Sometimes in Staten Island there was
a few times they gave the middle tip. But I
don't know that I do the ratings for anybody.
Speaker 3: If you tip your you're just giving him five stars automatically.
Speaker 2: If you tip pretty sure, oh no matter what level
of the tip is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think it comes up five stars uber
a lot. Yeah, I have a drink, I do, okay, Yeah,
when I came to see a bTB, yep, like you
know what, I'll probably have one. But yeah, things can
go sideways, which they did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and that's really smart because you know, somebody
said to me, God, the ubers are so expensive tonight,
and they were. They were. They were like fifty five
dollars to just go yeah, like you know, eight miles
or something. And I said, yeah, but it beats the
six thousand for the lawyers. Well that's I don't know,
that's just the lawyer. I know that are all the
fees and stuff on the top of that. I'm aware,
and I go, I don't I don't even want to
have a discussion. I'll pay the fifty it's so much better.
And your home, Yeah, you're home, you're safe. It's no problem.
What happened at the airport?
Speaker 3: So Tuesday, this was twenty ninth of yep, December, No,
twenty third. Is that on Tuesday? Oh, Tuesday, I was
racking up reserved rides all day long. You know, I'm
going for one of the other they give me a
little extra money. So those are always nice. The last
one of the day at six o'clock was from the
airport to Canadagua or Pete. So I text Pete and
when a waiting line, I'm like, Pete, you gotta text
me when you're ready to go, otherwise I can't start
the uber. Pete's ready to go. Drive up pillar number one.
I'm here now on the uber. It's a pin where
he is, yes, and I'm here, and he's I know,
he's between one and four.
Speaker 4: Pete. I'm here. I don't see you. I'm right here.
I don't see you. So I call him.
Speaker 3: I go, Pete, I'm here, I don't see it. I go,
are you wearing a white hat?
Speaker 4: He goes yeah. I go turn to the left. You
see me?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I see you. Okay, can you pull up?
I got heavy bags? Sure, Pete, no problem. So I
pull up fifteen feet, pop the trunk.
Speaker 2: Howl's Pete, good bag. It's thirty.
Speaker 4: Pete thirty thirty. Puts his bags in the back.
Speaker 2: Because if you told me Pete was somewhere between sixty
five and seventy five and he had the heavy bags
and he's a little I would go, all right, I
get it. This thirty thirty.
Speaker 3: Wow, can you pull up? I go, yeah, puts the
bags and I go. I got the I got the trunk.
Automatically close the trunk. It's a new feature. And it
tries to get into the passenger seat. And I rolled
the window down and go, Pete, you can't.
Speaker 2: Can't.
Speaker 3: I have a bag here, it's filled with Christmas toys
or Christmas presents. You got to sit in the back.
Doesn't say anything, gets in back. I slowly, slowly pull away,
and you're watching. Traffic is very busy. Yep, extremely I
how we doing?
Speaker 4: Pete? Go Pete, Pete? How's everything? Seizes up?
Speaker 3: Starts thrashing in my car, starts hitting his head in
the front, thrashing the back seat.
Speaker 4: Just I pull over.
Speaker 3: While at the airport underneath the the arrivals. Now anytime
I'm there and I'm waiting for a rider, thirty seconds,
you gotta move the car.
Speaker 4: I know, I just here.
Speaker 3: Nobody couldn't find I'm banging on the enterprise window to
get their attention.
Speaker 4: I pull over.
Speaker 3: I open up the windows and rolled down the window
and go, Pete, Pete, what's going on? And he's thrashing
and I can see veterans on the jacket. So I go, Pete,
don't worry. We're gonna get through this. I got friends
in the military. Just breathe, Pete, Just breathe, Just breathe.
You want water, you want to walk around, say talk
to me, Pete.
Speaker 4: Just keep with me.
Speaker 3: And then finally somebody came up and I'm waving him
down with security.
Speaker 4: You gotta move. I go, this guy he's having an episode.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So they get the sheriffs and he's still thrashing
and now he's convulsing and he's foaming in the mouth.
Speaker 4: Oh fuck, was he Well, that could be a seizure.
It was a seizure, okay, not.
Speaker 2: Flow salva salivating, Yeah whatever, No, they do phone too, Yeah,
because your saliva and you're breathing out, so yesh.
Speaker 3: Shares come out. Given nark can. Now, nark can isn't
what you think it is. It's like a tuba chipstick
with a couple of handles on the side.
Speaker 2: Did they know that he was odeed? No, But that's
the thing.
Speaker 3: Giving a nark can to somebody that's not oding doesn't
hurt them. Okay, So they gave the right up the
nose and poof and they're like, what'd you take, Pete,
what'd you take?
Speaker 4: Now? I don't know.
Speaker 3: How do you know this guy? Like I picked him
up a little while ago. They go where I go
twenty feet back there? Oh my god, so he thrashed
one more time because I remember your officer going, oh
there he's going again.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: And it's like thirty degrees out. Yeah, so all the
doors are open, he's got the bags. The guys on
a walkie talkie cebe radio. I want you to come
down B level. I don't want you to get a
I don't want the gurney to come over A. They
come down a side of the medium. Guys like, you
fucking idiots all do this.
Speaker 4: Well, that's good to know.
Speaker 2: Wait, the Ambulance and Fire department they did the wrong side.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they did the wrong size, so they got the
gurney over. So now now they're asking me questions my name,
my phone number, my address. I'm like, you know, I
have this guy's address on I'm just the uber. Maybe
if you look on the computer, maybe his address is
to his parents house. You get some answers, No, we'll
just get your stuff first. I'm like, sure, makes absolutely
perfect sense.
Speaker 2: Well, I think they may think you're lying. And here's
the problem. If Pete dies, Let's say Pete did o
D think of that? If Pete dies and you were
not the uber driver, but Pete's buddy who supplied the drugs,
you're guilty of you're you're you're I don't want to
say guilty of ritter, but could be charged so holy
shit though, So then sorry, no, no, no, what does
it do?
Speaker 3: We They were calming him down. This is over half
an hour. Yeah, finally came down. They got him on
a gurney. They're asking me questions and like, oh, Sheriff's
like these bags and they're just looking at the outside tags. Well,
one of the bags starts moving and I'm like, what
the fuck? It was a service dog. It was through
black mash.
Speaker 4: I goes, it's this fucking dog. I go, you want
to give him the dog? Maybe I'll alp out. He goes,
Now they don't want to go into bags or anything
like that. Who knows what.
Speaker 3: So they got him at a gurney, got him on
the fire truck or the ambulance.
Speaker 2: Oh this poor guy. Yeah, I mean it really could
just be a PTSD. Yes, right, yeah, because it sounds
like the dog he has.
Speaker 3: He seemed like he was fine up until I asked
him to get in the back seat. So then I
called Uber. I go, look, I'm canceling this ride or
finishing this ride, and I've only gone twenty feet, so
I don't know what to tell you. This guy told
them the story. I got not to be rude. I go,
am I getting paid for this? It was forty five
minutes not you know, Uber?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 3: You know, I am my gas and I did the
right thing, and then you.
Speaker 2: Did do the right thing. And even by saying to him,
we'll get through this. Yeah, let's get you to people
who are familiar with what you need.
Speaker 4: So go home, go to I tell you what.
Speaker 3: I drink many of beers over the years, but this
is the first time I think I've ever said I
need a beer.
Speaker 4: I need a drink.
Speaker 2: Well, you're adrenaline's pumping, someone's gonna die. You don't have answers,
you don't know. Yeah, first you're you're probably thinking, is
this guy losing his ship?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: And I'm I am I in danger? You kind of
I can only imagine the thoughts that are going.
Speaker 3: Through what is going on, So just better for the
doubt that that he's not on drugs and God knows
what's happening. Actually, somebody will be here too to help
me out. So I go home, I have a few drinks,
go to bed, and after that I had it. I
still had to stop at Wegman's, a liquor store, another store,
and I fucked up everything. I forgot something and white Man's.
I forgot something, a liquor story. I'm like, I'm gonna
go get that drake. I I concentrating. So three o'clock
in the morning, I take a you know, pee, and
I roll over with my phone and says, oh message
from Uber oh support team. Okay, oh, maybe they know
about Pete. So I slid it. You are deactivated. One
of your writers says, you were under the influence and
smelled of marijuana, and we are deactivating you until further noice.
Speaker 2: Three o'clocking.
Speaker 3: Boy, Happy fucking New Year. So I had a reply.
I didn't do it right then.
Speaker 4: I woke up later I go, look, I don't know
who's telling you doing marijuana. I got a brand new car.
Speaker 3: And if I pick somebody up to smells like marijuana
and then get off and then you come in, You're like, oh,
your car smelled marijuana, which used to happen a lot more.
I don't smell it as much. I wonder if COVID
kind of did something in my nose, or.
Speaker 2: This shit's so good or no, no, I think people
are I agree with you, and I think that it's
also the time of year. Yeah, I think that cold
weather people, somebody.
Speaker 3: That didn't like me or I didn't smile or something
like that. Yeah, just to be a jerk off.
Speaker 2: See, I won't even complain about the guy that right,
I got wet, just because I don't want to. I'm
like the guys out there working on a whatever morning
on New Year's Day, right, It's like, come on. So
that was kind of to bust this guy's balls over
a wet car. Fuck you, bran. This was what was
thinking in my head. Honestly. You know, you can make
all the jokes you want, but that was the thing
that was in my head. It is like, I, yeah,
this is the this is weird. And I'll always say this, Doug,
and I don't know if you agree or not. When
when what I guess you could say are uncomfortable situations,
bad situations. I always go. But at least I got
a good story coming out of it, you know what
I mean. And that's how I look at it. And
I I to me and I hear you like, I
don't know that I would go back. I mean the
ride was I don't sixteen bucks. I have no idea,
And so it's like, okay, I mean, you know, you
could have stayed sober and drove yourself. Why, I understand,
but I'm going so and I get it. The complaining.
I don't like hearing that though with you. That's a
real because.
Speaker 4: I didn't know how long I was gonna be.
Speaker 3: Oh, they said we'll have an answer in twenty four
to forty eight hours. So then so Christmas Eve comes
and it's.
Speaker 2: Like, okay, so this is before the hot before Christmas holiday.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it was the same night as the seizure guy.
Speaker 2: So this is Christmas Eve.
Speaker 3: Christmas Eve. So I wrote them, I gave my story
in the morning. They said we'll get back to you
twenty four to forty hours with the decision.
Speaker 4: And then that night the reserve rise.
Speaker 3: There was one going to the airport at ten am
for like seventeen dollars. So I'm like I'm just gonna
run out. It's half a tank of gas. Sure, So
I wrote him, I go, hey, just let you know
I have a reserve rise. So if you're gonna not
let me drive, I don't know what you're gonna do
with this lady. And then it looks bad on my
report that I'm not gonna go pick her up. So again,
three o'clock in the morning, get up to go to
the bathroom. And so they're sending twenty four hours.
Speaker 2: They're in Pasadena. I guess Uber headquarters. I don't know
where they are, but West cost, California. Yeah, so it's midnight.
Who the fuck is sending out of the email? They Well,
I guess if you're running a big company, like, yeah,
it's all over.
Speaker 4: I mean you run midnight thir three in the morning,
well three in the morning your time, twenty.
Speaker 3: Four hours, so it'd be six am their time.
Speaker 2: No, oh right, yes, is behind the night so your
midnight right, That's what I'm saying. It's like, who's sending
out midnight on Christmas Day?
Speaker 4: You've gotta have people twenty four hours.
Speaker 2: I'm sure they do. Yeah, I'm sure they're huge.
Speaker 4: I was able to pick up Catherine in the next morning.
Speaker 2: I would love to interview somebody from like Uber headquarters,
just to hear the complaints they get. Oh, I'm just
some of them have to be so outlandishly.
Speaker 3: Stupid, and they'll refund your money. I have a buddy
he ubers everywhere he travels, not off a lot. If
he's not happy, he'll dispute it and like his money back. Yeah,
with the ride with the car or whatever. He doesn't.
Not to be picky, but if he's ordering an XL,
he's jammed up in something like I have you know,
I order an Excel.
Speaker 4: That's what I should get. Just something like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Or if it's somebody smoke smells of smoke. They're
watching TV on there. I had an Uber driver watching
a TS or something like not granted I was a
mile away from my house, but I'm like, what the
fuck you're watching TV and driving.
Speaker 2: I had some great Uber drivers when I was down
visiting my son. One guy had on He was from
India and he had on the Indian news but radio,
like through the Internet.
Speaker 3: Did I tell you I had to India? I don't
think so. It's been a while, so ri t Yeah.
Abdul or something like that.
Speaker 4: Uh easter, Doug, how are you today? I go, I'm good.
Speaker 3: I'm good at adu abdulky and uh oh, mister Doug,
I have a problem.
Speaker 4: I go, what is it? Buddy, talk talk to me
because I have a mouse in my house. We live
in an apartment complex. There's construction next door. There's a
mouse in my house and it there's droppings. You know
that I should do? I go, Yeah, I get a cat,
cause will fix the problem. Get the mouse.
Speaker 2: I go.
Speaker 3: You don't watch cartoons in your country? Do you just
like forty five?
Speaker 2: Forty five?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I'm like, do you ever watch Tom and Cherry.
Speaker 2: He goes, we're not just a mouse trap?
Speaker 3: Well then we're get into that. So uh he goes, No,
I've never seen Tom and Jack.
Speaker 2: Go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you get the cat, you get the mouse. If
you can't get some mouse, well then you're stuck with
a cat and you're you're paying all the bills. You go,
I go, you're married. He goes, oh, yes, well very upsetable.
Speaker 4: I'm like, well, look, a mouse trap is okay, but
now they have sticky paper. It's like wallpaper.
Speaker 3: You put it upside down and the mouse will get
on the paper and I'll stick it.
Speaker 4: Won't move an old.
Speaker 3: Starve to death. He goes, these, that's very cruel for
the animal. And let me ask you something. He goes,
what's I go, since this mouse problem with the droppings,
have you got any pussy lately?
Speaker 2: He goes, No, No, sir, my wife no.
Speaker 4: Very upset with me. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, this
is going to fix your problems. He goes, I am
going to Amazon sticky b I founded, mister, he ordered
it right there.
Speaker 2: Well, why would you get like the sticky paper? Then
I think I'm gonna hear them. I just I would
use a mouse trap.
Speaker 4: Mousetrap is fine if it goes in the trap.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the sticky paper, even if you get one hand
on it, that's true.
Speaker 2: You know that's true.
Speaker 3: To build a better mouse trap, yeah, and I haven't.
Speaker 2: I haven't done that. I had a mouse in where
I live, and uh, and I caught it with a
mouse trap. Got it?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just chopped that is right.
Speaker 2: And then and then I came home from being gone
for a while, and I see I can sense something.
I felt like I saw a shadow something. Sure enough,
I see something going I go, fuck, again. So now
I put out mouse traps.
Speaker 3: Well I put I used people came home drunk in
your bare feet yet yeah, three less toes.
Speaker 2: I uh, I gotta, I know, that's what I was thinking.
So I always like to use peanut butter.
Speaker 4: I don't know my dad does.
Speaker 2: So I put peanut butter.
Speaker 4: We've been talking.
Speaker 2: No, I did it. I always did it. And so
the peanut butter I put too far at the front.
The motherfucker ate the whole thing in the mouse trap
and every went off.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So now I put out two more uh, and I go,
I'm going to get you. And then on the one
that he'd eating the peanut butter off, I put a
little piece of cheese on, and I put a little
piece of cheese on the other one, just like the cartoon.
Just like the cartoons. I got that, bastard. You tell
your friends, have you ever seen a rat trap?
Speaker 3: No, buddy, I don't want to. You don't even want
to know. It's field mouse is fine, I get it
times as big. It's bigger than that.
Speaker 2: It's no, thank you, they're huge. Yeah. No, I don't
want no. That that grosses me out. Rats, rats, gross mice.
I can deal with and I grew up in a
rural area and that happens. They're looking for warmth.
Speaker 4: You know who is it, buddy?
Speaker 3: I know little love and warmth in the year, but
that's all we want. I want laugh, I want laughter,
love and your shit together. No trumpsters or smokers. I'm like, well, uh,
we will take That's when I write, bag yourhar.
Speaker 2: We will take a uh. We'll take a moment here.
And then what was supposed to be a hype patriotic
USA USA uh moment at the Armed Forces Bowl almost
turned into a straight up bloper reel.
Speaker 4: Was this last night?
Speaker 2: I think it was two nights ago. We'll get to that, Okay,
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Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and children of all ages.
Speaker 2: It is now twenty twenty six.
Speaker 3: Welcome once again to the number one podcast in America.
You got the one, the only, hipshaking, money making tower Power,
Dug You Fresh, and to my right the man, the
myth Legend.
Speaker 4: Bill Muran.
Speaker 2: Man. Yeah, look at you.
Speaker 4: Are they touring again? They are?
Speaker 3: Brother, let's go, come on me, you and a c
DC get the fuck out of down.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, it's a great show. Every song is awesome.
Speaker 2: Well you know, yeah, you know, look I get.
Speaker 4: Some it's just rock and roll. Yeah, you're in the
top three of everybody's list to history if not number one.
You can't go to a baseball game, football game, hockey
game anywhere without hearing one of their songs. And I lost.
Speaker 2: This is true. I heard them one on uh where
was I?
Speaker 3: And a lot of NFL teams from watching the game.
Speaker 4: Not the Bills.
Speaker 3: Third down, they'll play Thunderstruck or house bells or something
like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, as they know you'll hold them, so you want
to get a pumped up with the Rocks. I work
out the ac DC, I did. I have five songs
of the Fabulous Thunderbirds, which would take me about twenty
five minutes, and then next thirty.
Speaker 2: Wait, five songs plus the Fabulous Thunderbirds.
Speaker 4: Five songs from the Fabulous Sun. Oh really yeah? Okay,
just a little rockabilly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like the Fabulous Jimmy Vaughan, I think right,
Steve Gray's brothers.
Speaker 4: I don't remember a fabulous.
Speaker 3: T Maybe about four songs, which is about fifteen minutes.
You get your warm up sweat going. Yeah, and usually
the first drop of sweat which will probably ten seconds,
and I'd have a heart attack and then I would
never get to a C D C. But anyways, four songs,
then go into a c DC for another half an
hour when I was working out.
Speaker 2: It's, uh, it's weird, right because we get to an
age and we hear about somebody we know passing away.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you go, wow, well guys only like five
six years older than me, right, and you're kind of
hoping that it was like, I don't know, d W,
I lost it something.
Speaker 3: I've never heard somebody that, Hey, do you see here
Tim Dight know was a d WY?
Speaker 2: I hope, No, That's what I'm saying. Yes, yes, you
don't want you don't. I don't want to be heard
from causes.
Speaker 4: I don't want that. And then your next well, god,
I was drinking with him just last night. Now he's dead.
Speaker 3: I guess I'm not gonna drink anymore. And you're still
gonna drink.
Speaker 2: The former general manager of Watkins Glenn International, Michael print Up,
who was always very good to me on the radio
and was great when I came down to the track,
and I think I took my kid there and we
were in like VIP stuff and I loved my print
Up was just great. And uh, I get a call
from from my friend Race and Randy, Hey, bud, I
just want to let you know Michael Printup died and
so I look it up and it says unexpectedly sixty
years old. Unexpectedly, I go, motherfucker had a heart attack.
That's gotta be right. I would think either that or
sleep apnea or his wife smothered him with a pillow.
Speaker 4: I don't know, but you don't die from sleep apne?
Speaker 2: In to you? Uh, well, let's take a look. Why
am I going to answer this.
Speaker 4: The uber driver?
Speaker 2: No, I'm not even gonna do that. Let's see. Uh,
can sleep apnea kill you?
Speaker 4: Or can you dive from?
Speaker 2: Okay? Third is the number two search? Can sleep apnea
kill you?
Speaker 4: Boom is or no?
Speaker 2: Yes? Unrelated sleep apnea can untreated excuse me, untreated sleep
apney can be fatal, not usually from suffocation, but by
causing severe health complications. So it's a contributor. You can
have it? Can it cannot?
Speaker 4: Breathing?
Speaker 2: Heart attack, strokes, high blood pressure, and sudden cardiac death?
Do you have sleep apnea?
Speaker 3: I've been told on occasion, be told on occasion, spending
on who sleeps over? She's drunker than I am if
she cares. So yeah, I'm just leaving, and then the
next one like, you have sleep at me. I'm like,
I never heard that before. So the previous three girls
didn't give a ship and this one does.
Speaker 2: I guess. I guess. So showed me to love baby. Wow,
yes it can? Is it bad? Do you know?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 2: How would you know you're asleep?
Speaker 4: Right? Maybe my grandfather had that. I think my dad
wears a mask. Yeah, I'll do the weight.
Speaker 3: So that's one reason, one reason to start losing weight.
Speaker 4: Yeah, get on that treadmill, eat a little different.
Speaker 2: Well, I would say, just for your mental health and
overwall you just feel better. Yeah, I think I think
you do. I don't know, Maybe you don't. You do?
Speaker 4: Yeah, studies show it.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, in your own body and you're like hey,
and then all of a sudden you're like, look at me, Yeah,
nobody else is looking. You lose weight?
Speaker 4: Yeah, thanks for noticing. You want to date me?
Speaker 2: No, Doug, Hey, Doug, do you lose weight? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I lost two hundred and twenty pounds.
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, I divorced her. I had a buddy who
once comes in, he goes, hey, hey, I tell you
feeling great, just had surgery on my back. What he's like, yeah,
he goes man. Everything came off fantastic. I had one
hundred and forty five pounds removed from my back, so terrible.
Uh yeah, the sleep abby stuff can be. I just
want to watch that. I just want to watch it.
You know, feel better, look better, Ladies will be all
over Dougie Fresh, you think so, I don't know. I
have no idea.
Speaker 3: He's hoping for something bigger and better to come.
Speaker 4: So we'll see, you know what happens.
Speaker 2: But time runs out.
Speaker 4: Time runs out, that's right. Yeah, tick tock.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Uh so they had they have these things where
the they have parachuters jump out of airplanes and come
into the stadium, get the crowd hype. They usually have
flags that they're trailing and all this stuff. So the
pregame was in Fort Worth, Texas.
Speaker 4: I think, what game are we talking about?
Speaker 2: This was the arm Forces Bowl, and I don't remember
who was playing. Five parachuters jump out of a plane, flags,
stadium was ready, crowds feeling heroic. And then one of
the guys.
Speaker 4: It was Rice in Texas state. It was yesterday, days ago.
Speaker 2: I can't tell what it's going on at work. I
was leaving, Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I'm seeing a scuffle on the field. I'm like, yeah,
I'll hear about tomorrow. So now I'm hearing about it tomorrow.
Speaker 4: So go ahead.
Speaker 2: Well, this was in the scuffle of the field. This
was the parachuter coming down, and one of them got
caught in the netting behind the goalpost. Oh yeah, not raised,
slowed down fully, hung like the guys hung up like
a Christmas ornament, about thirty five feet above the crowd. Okay,
and then.
Speaker 4: He fell on the ground.
Speaker 2: He fell on the crowd. He fell fans. They claimed
nobody was hurt. Crowds fine. Uh and weirdly, the game
is still started on top. Oh yeah, for all that
they started on time, because nothing says the college football like, hey,
we almost lost the guy. Now here's an important detail.
Five parachuters jumped out of the plane. Three successfully landed
in the stadium. One guy he told you about calling.
Then some other guy completely missed the.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the Wednesday High.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm thinking, like, these were veterans, right,
these are guys who was I.
Speaker 3: Mean, anything over twenty five miles per hour. There's a
there's a limit to what they'll let people drop it.
Speaker 2: I can't I don't know. I don't I never parachuted. Uh,
what are they going to do?
Speaker 4: Tolstedo's Bowl or Super Bowl?
Speaker 3: And some guy was going to jump off a helicopter
and bungee jumped to almost the ground and scoop up
some scoop up so salsa.
Speaker 4: Oh and he tried that in rehearsal. He died.
Speaker 2: No, I don't remember this. I'm not saying it didn't happen.
I just don't know.
Speaker 3: And then years ago, you remember one of the Tyson
fights or Holy Field fights. The guy came in with
the the parachute and the fan behind him and he
went into the crowd. I think that guy's still in
the hospital. They're kicking a shit out of the guy.
And one guy took his cell phone was smashing in
his head.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you see the video and you're like the fuck?
Oh like animals.
Speaker 2: Well, see, the thing is like it's so uncomfortable. I
don't know. Would you ever parachute? I've never done.
Speaker 4: I'm afraid of.
Speaker 3: I can't watch videos on my phone without getting sweaty hands. Yeah,
there's there's one going now that coming off a gigantic
water slide.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, And it's all AI, but.
Speaker 3: You go off in the air and like you're falling,
and I watch it just to tease myself. But yeah,
my hands get sweaty. So no, I don't do good
with lights. Planes are something different. I'm going on Macasia,
going somewhere, so I can you.
Speaker 2: Know, planes are fine. I don't have any of that.
As I've gotten older, I'm not as cool about heights.
I guess, yeah, like I don't want to walk right
up to the edge of anything, you know, when I'm
up in a building, like, hey, look down and it'll
take me a second. If my kids were always like,
come on, let's do it, I would do it. Normally,
those things don't ever really bother me. But I now
because I consider jumping out of a plane. At some
point I thought it would be fun, or I always
thought would looked really fucking cool. Was the base jumping?
Did you ever see this where they jump like off
a cliff and they've got these winged suits of us
and they're going around. And then I heard about this
kid I grew up with and we went to church together,
and he went right in the side of the mountain.
That was the end of that. Ill probably.
Speaker 4: Did have a d.
Speaker 2: But here I was happy. It was happy because I went, hey,
terrible that he died, But he died base jumping. I'm
not base jumping.
Speaker 4: There you go.
Speaker 2: It wasn't natural causes checking. It was just sitting down,
you're not his favorite team and that heart attack right
and drink you No, no, it was all it was
all good. It was all good.
Speaker 3: Years ago they had and this was in Japan, self propulsion,
jet propulsion wings and he went around uh I think
it was about Fuji seven times and the goal was
to he couldn't take off, but he could land. And
and now with the technology they're coming out with, have
you seen the Oh I don't even know what you
call him. There they're handheld blowers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's all that's usually water.
Speaker 4: No, no, this is air air too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, jet propulsion to go from one ship to another
to transfer sailors.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: See now that doesn't scare me. And I'm gonna tell
you why. Just like with the uber driver, here's the thing.
I'm in control.
Speaker 4: You're not in control.
Speaker 2: Well I am in control.
Speaker 4: You're in the backseat getting pissed out.
Speaker 2: No, no, I was, That's what I'm saying. That's what
I'm saying, I was not in control and the uber ride,
But if I had one of those jet propel packs,
I feel like I'm in control. I can control the speed,
I can control whatever. Oh man, he'd be like, fucking Superman.
This is the coolest shit ever because I've only seen
the water ones. And then I saw something over Christmas
when I was down on the Potomac and they do
Santa arrives on water skis. They had one of the
police that was chasing the Grinch is on a surfboard,
but it's above the water. It's like a hoverboard almost,
And I go, I want one of those. I want
one of those. You would love to just go zipping
around Canada. Like now, you have to have pretty good balance.
I will say balance not what it used to be.
I got my ankle. I do have a weaker ankle now,
so I all things to focus on for twenty twenty
weeker ankle.
Speaker 4: How did you get this your ankle?
Speaker 2: I think over the years like that was always a
kind of an achilles heel, so to speak of mine,
I would roll the ankle because I think I walked
too far in the outside of my my uh feet.
So yeah, it's bad. Yeah, and then and then it
would affect you balance wise, so I would always have
to concentrate on putting my weight through my big toe
when I box and stuff. No, I'm it's serious, I
tell you. Just like wrestling, balance is so important, so important,
and it's a great thing. And I used to have
a really pretty decent balance. I could do all the
chilly balance things. But I don't know. I'm not as
young as I used to be, though I still feel
the baby.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right, I tell you, if you slip a
little bit, I've always said I've had a good balance,
especially with wrestling.
Speaker 3: But yeah, slip a little bit and catch yourself Like whoa.
You know, you don't want to come to the day
when you're slipping and you don't catch your balance right right,
and you hear terrible stories about that. Well, it's the falls,
not from a heart KACKI no. And he slipped and fell,
my old man, yeah, he, Oh my gosh, tremendous shock
to the body.
Speaker 2: He he was having a lot of instants where he
was falling and stuff. We got into a higher level
of care. My poor brother had just gone to drop
his kids off in camp and was looking forward to
two weeks, no kids sleepover camp, both kids away, and
he and his wife are going to get some time.
They had a whole lot moving my dad up doing
all this stuff. And while they're up there, my father
takes a fall in the dining room at this assistant
living place, breaks his hip. They have to do something else.
They were saying, if he doesn't have surgery, we're not
sure he could even sit in a wheelchair surgery. And
then that was the end. That was the end, and
it is usually the fall that will kill you. I mean, look,
Bob Saggot. We don't know what happened to Bob Saggot.
Like he went back and it was that he hit
his head. He fell. I don't know how he fell.
I don't know what happened.
Speaker 4: Well, was he a drinker? Was he known drinker?
Speaker 3: Some people will question if he had a shot the
COVID shot.
Speaker 2: Oh maybe I don't know. I I don't. I mean
certainly didn't know Sagat met him, but didn't know him right,
So it wasn't like I wouldn't know if he was
a drinker or not. I had never heard anything. It's
certainly there was never any I mean, I guess, you
know it's possible.
Speaker 3: But friend of mine who worked in the comedy club
comics cafe, he's like, they're either full blown alcoholic or
they're recovered and they don't want anything to do with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's definitely think it's it's some of the most
depressing people you will ever meet are the comics that
go out and do stuff.
Speaker 4: But it's amazing, isn't it.
Speaker 2: It's different now, I think even more. I think there's
some that like just they work out and they try to.
I mean, they're really like they're on a path to
try to get somewhere with this, where other guys are like, yeah,
fuck it, there's a road and it sucks. And you know,
I had a buddy used to go uh he had
he would travel. There were these two comics and they
both died of heart attacks. But they would make lard brownies.
Speaker 4: Lard brownies.
Speaker 2: They would take the lard from like bacon, grease and everything,
and they would eat that on the road on the
road trip, and they would say no calories on travel day,
it doesn't count. Yeahwies, large brownies. I'm pretty sure it
was lard brownies. I can see.
Speaker 4: But you think about it.
Speaker 2: It's depressing. On the road is depressing. It sucks. It's
all that.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I mean unless you're meeting people in the.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is. What do you get there?
Speaker 3: Reserved ride? I might have to take it. Okay, yeah,
we need to wrap up until five o'clock. But if
you don't take them, somebody else does, right, and for
twenty minute trip it's twenty five dollars.
Speaker 2: Okay, there you go.
Speaker 3: Now you build your day and now I have to
do a little bit. I'm obering every day. Yeah, at
least for a goal. Hopefully get all the bills paid
off this year and nice I got a vacation of
going out, so that's great. So I'll get out there
before the forty nine ers game. Go buy some shrimp
because twelve pack of Jenny Light, you know, some summer sauces.
So I can have a heart attack and be like, eh,
old Doug. Well, at least no FID is dedicated to
Doug Phelps. We had a heart take yesterday. Fifty five
years old. I love Doug Mark. What do you think
he wasn't that funny?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I agree? Oh yeah, terrible.
Speaker 3: He had a twenty two Pall Bearers well, they're all
women over seventy. They could have lifted cast and by themselves.
Oh that would be terrible. Did I tell you about
the party I went to? Is an old Lachlan's was
for real and there are seven old women up. This
isn't one team now And I was already half of
the bag and walked up.
Speaker 4: I knew one of the girls. I'm like, how are
we doing? Ladies? I go, my god, I haven't seen
this many cougars since I was at the Seneca Park Zoo.
Anybody whyse shot and they loved it.
Speaker 3: Then I went up up front and dance with the band. Yeah,
they're all smiling, giggling.
Speaker 2: Wait you danced with the band or you dance in
front of the band? It was by yourself club? No?
Speaker 4: I had friends there, ran into people.
Speaker 2: I got I gotta I want a worse the fucking
video of this?
Speaker 4: What just dancing?
Speaker 2: I would like to see that. Okay, there's no video.
Come on, you're a lane from Seinfeldt Lucky Fresh has moves, baby,
I would.
Speaker 4: Like to see what I mean?
Speaker 2: You would love to see that.
Speaker 3: I would love to give me some bowling shoes and
I'll move walk across the alley for you.
Speaker 4: I can jitterbug too.
Speaker 2: What yeah, okay a few years ago, nineteen, it's not
even twenty two.
Speaker 3: You clear, you start jitterbugging and you know your ship
and people stopped dancing around, you'd be like, I can't,
I can't hang.
Speaker 4: With this guy. Seriously, people still talking about it.
Speaker 3: Was in my DJing in place called rock Clam down
on River Street, threw on jump driving Whale. Somebody came
out doing her thing, and I went up there and
started dancing with her, spun her around. Oh yeah, in
my flaps flip flops.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love flops. Bill, I got it, Doug.
Speaker 4: It's skill.
Speaker 2: Didn't know. I got it. When you're moving like that. Yeah,
you didn't break a toe, didn't break a sweat, though,
I do.
Speaker 4: They go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Yeah all right, Well I want video. There had to
be video there. I've never had anybody send me video.
Speaker 2: Oh that's too bad. That's too bad because that you know,
a lot of times now people whip out the phone.
Go look at this guy, right, I mean, thank god, yeah,
I do.
Speaker 4: The whip actually kept pulling out.
Speaker 2: Come on, wake up, Come on, wake up, show time,
wake up. We'll take a moment I came across an
article that it didn't shock me right away, but it's
kind of sat with me, and Uh, I think this
will be interesting for you. I'd love to hear your
thoughts on this.
Speaker 4: You got it.
Speaker 2: I just as we get into the new year, and
then uh, we'll with a kind of a year in
review of emergency rooms all that coming up right after this.
If the new year has you saying I did not
sign up for this, like a worker's comp case, social
security disability, or a personal injury claim, don't try to
google lawyer your way through it. Go to Connors and Ferris.
They have offices in Buffalo, New York City, Syracuse, and
Rochester and they'll get back to you within twenty four hours. Yeah,
so even when you're stress scrolling at two am, you
can call two six to two COMP, tell them a
little bit about what's going on in your life, and
within twenty four hours one of their attorneys will get
back to you. You'll talk to real lawyers who will
explain things in plain English, not legal mumbo jumbo workers comp,
social security disability, personal injury complicated. Absolutely something you should handle.
Speaker 4: A loan.
Speaker 2: Nope, Connors and Ferris responsive and committed to serving you
better called two six' two comp helps available right, Now.
Speaker 4: Good, afternoon.
Speaker 3: Everybody you got the, one the, only the, hipshakeing money
making teller of, power man of the hour twenty four to,
seven the one your mother warned you.
Speaker 4: About Dougie fresh in the. House maybe at this TIME
i want you to keep your hands and the feet
inside the car till the ride comes to. Complete stop
to my, right you know.
Speaker 3: Him you love, them Ladies adorum six foot two and
as of flu all the way From, Alabama.
Speaker 2: Bama, lamo the, one the, only mister Bellmore. Rand look
at that right to the, Post Dougie, fresh right to the. Post.
Ough so we took a short little break here AND
i get a text somebody that says the text, said.
Speaker 3: Well then you start. Laughing you haven't told me, anything.
Speaker 4: SO i have.
Speaker 2: Not MAY i ask you a weird? Question now it's
SOMEBODY i, know, Uh AND i said weird, hmm, OKAY i,
Guess and they, go why did you repost this woman's
new profile picture on your? PAGE i have to think
you did it by. Accident woman's Profile, okay, no, wait
so there's a WOMAN i used to work with had
put up a new profile. PICTURE i THINK i will
always tell, men if you are, married do not like
another woman's. Picture don't put looking hot to do you see?
Speaker 4: It do WHAT i? Mean? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah did you find? It?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah so BUT i re posted it on my fucking,
page AND i, go, no, wow no she? MARRIED i
have no idea to find. OUT i don't. KNOW i
think she lives In vegas or. SO i have no.
IDEA i THOUGHT i thought she was married to a.
BILLY i don't impersonate, her.
Speaker 3: Went To Marcellus High, school lives In, chicago and.
Speaker 2: Oh, OKAY i THINK i thought she was married to
a billy idol. Impersonator look through her pictures and see
if you see a billy idol like her and a
guy that looks like his Whole i'm saying this could Be.
Ai who the fuck? Know, yeah it could Be. Ai
the way the picture. IS i just am so embarrassed
THAT i re posted this fucking. Page thank, god no.
Speaker 4: One that is definitely a filtered. Picture she is. Not
that's one of her. Pictures she.
Speaker 2: Is, YEAH i mean she's not on a. Track, no
She BUT i NEVER i knew people who had uh,
yeah she, does here we, GO i GOT i got
it off my. Page but how. Embarrassing BUT i would
ALWAYS i love one of my favorite things to, do
and it seems to happen less now because we've become
more social media. Savvy but one of my favorite things
to do is to find the middle aged woman who
is actually feeling pretty good about herself, today and she
starts her day with a selfie in the car hairs
on point. Right she's sitting in the front, Seat have
a great, day. Everybody and THEN i like to look
at the, comments, right and she's looking, good feeling good about.
HERSELF i look down the comments and THEN i see
a GUY i know who's, married going looking, hot is
WHAT i would, Say AND i, go, you my, friend
you are a, moron, Right, ryan.
Speaker 3: Were digging yourself a, hole a big old. Shovel i've
got something to say ABOUT ai that came to me
the other, Day, Okay AND i, think and this is
just my personal opinion THAT i just came up, with
and it could be, wrong BUT i think in the
next few years you're going to see less social media,
activity at least from older, people because we're not going
to know what's real or unreal or if somebody's lying
to us or. What we can't trust now gen xers
and the young, kids they want to get out as
much as they possibly. Can in, fact there's new videos
of young girls just giving a little flash here and
there to get as many flowers flowers followers as he.
Can now it's not On, facebook but SOMETIMES i go
Through instagram and just you, know looking at the videos and,
uh look at you, know something funny or, interesting and,
Uh i'm, like oh my. Goodness and they have them
from eighteen to eighty. Eight And i've been waiting for
you to see some of these older women that do,
this and they'll just be holding like a cup of
coffee and a coffee made definitely this is, no it's Not.
Speaker 2: Ai, No how the fuck do you?
Speaker 4: Know BECAUSE i know You're.
Speaker 2: Ai you can, tell you can? Tell HOW i can't you.
Can't WELL i look at that picture, NOW i, go
oh my, GOD i can't BELIEVE i fucking reposted another
woman that is definitely. FILTERED i understand she's not.
Speaker 3: A bad looking at, woman but she's now when you, filter,
yeah twenty, Pounds.
Speaker 2: Well what is? It what are you looking?
Speaker 4: UP i was gonna try to find one those videos like.
Speaker 2: This, oh let me see. This, yeah she shows, Us
i'll find. SOMETHING i don't need. IT i DON'T i
don't need to see some you, know fucking forty five sixty.
Five i'm not looking for that seventy five year old.
Nipple it's pointing. Down it's not pointing down like a weather.
Vein it's right next to her. Kneecap, okay, here, yeah let's.
Speaker 4: See, well let's start. Over she walks.
Speaker 2: In, oh she's going on pants? On oh, shit she
doesn't have any pants on for. Real. Yeah, now it's
just you can't do that on social, media Can.
Speaker 3: Well she's doing it twice, now, yeah just a quick
little there it is.
Speaker 2: That doesn't look like IT'S. AI i have to admit, that.
Speaker 4: And it could. Be it could be really, tight uh
skin color.
Speaker 3: Panties but oh, yeah you're looking at these and you're,
like come, on this can't Be.
Speaker 2: Wait how many let me ask you, This, Doug, okay this.
One what is the name of? This look?
Speaker 4: Down it's in a mirror her.
Speaker 2: Vagina oh, yeah but of.
Speaker 3: Course it following all the, information what is?
Speaker 2: This what is this On?
Speaker 3: Instagram it's On instagram, okay any age kid can Look,
okay so hang on a. Second how many hours have
you spent searching these?
Speaker 4: OUT i don't search.
Speaker 2: Them what do you mean they just show up in your?
Algorithm oh that means once you look at a, buddy
that's this is what they're gonna keep sending.
Speaker 4: YOU i, know it's.
Speaker 3: Weird i'm fifty five year olds in a single AND
i would never look at. THIS i, mean obviously it
came to me now this is from an older.
Speaker 2: Yeah oh, yeah oh, yeah that's not a, no that's.
Speaker 3: Just something like. That and girls just doing selfies of
their their.
Speaker 2: Breasts, well they're PROBABLY i wonder if they're bringing you
on to this.
Speaker 5: One, YEAH i wonder if they're trying to bring you
onto their OnlyFans, page like once you hit follow or,
whatever check.
Speaker 2: Out my other things, here see more. HERE i, mean
good for, them they're. ENTREPRENEURS i think it's. Great, yeah
just showing actually new word. Entrepreneur yeah there we. Go oh, yeah,
yeah you got off eighteen.
Speaker 4: NINETEEN i mean she just might be young.
Speaker 2: LOOKING i CAN'T i can't look at.
Speaker 4: IT i can't.
Speaker 3: Eyelashes yesterday you, Did, yeah he looked young AND i
just FELT i needed to, sure And i'm work at
a pretty clossy, restaurant so never that.
Speaker 4: Problem But i'm, LIKE i got an idea.
Speaker 2: Just to y all, Right so a lot of this
is interesting that you bring this up because this is
the article THAT i. Saw there's a new cosmetic filler
being used across the. Country, Okay, so and we've seen
women with the lip that are too, Big we've seen
all kinds of. THINGS i THINK i heard somebody today
WHEN i was at the gym say something about have
you Seen Bradley cooper's?
Speaker 3: Face And i'm, like, lately just in the commercial about
the comedian the, movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah well he's directed that is He, yeah he directed.
It BUT i think somebody makes it sound like he
had plastic. Surgery AND i don't know who his age just,
WELL i mean you're trying to look, younger feel, younger
be younger in this competitive. BUSINESS i do THINK.
Speaker 4: I don't think he needs. IT i, mean he's. THERE
i don't.
Speaker 2: EITHER i don't, either but that's what they were. Saying
but this is this filler being used across the country
is made from donated human fat filler to fill what to,
fill you can get like The brazilian butt. Lift they
fill your ass with, fat your lips instead of. Boatox
they put little filler around the wrinkles in your eye and.
Stuff it. Is it's it's taken from people who've passed,
away process purified and injected into living bodies to restore volumes, hips, butt, breast,
chest wherever fat naturally. Exists doctors describe it as off
the shelf. Fat it's just.
Speaker 3: Amazing whatever you. NEED i, mean just like it was.
Zempic i'm gonna take a zempic And i'm gonna be really. Thin,
well some people have lost a lot of weight now
and they don't have fat from their own body to
inject in their.
Speaker 4: Breasts works differently for different.
Speaker 2: People, yes it.
Speaker 3: Does so did you try AND I i had a, Friend,
yeah and she did very well on. It but there
is a dosage and it's more or less tells your
brain not to eat eat, less and you have to
stick with it and give us some. Time you're just
not gonna give yourself a stab and you lose twenty
pounds in a. Week and if you do, that your
skin's gonna be hanging, off so you might look. GOOD
i get you home And i'm, like oh my, GOD
i gotta get a rubber band or pie up all
this fat on your. Belly, seriously and you do have
to do you do have to work out in some.
Planking well if you want to tighten, up you.
Speaker 4: Don't want all that.
Speaker 3: Skin and you're talking older people who have medical conditions
that need to lose, weight one for their knees or
like say a heart, attack. Diabetes but you're losing that.
Weight it's it's all. Skinned and if you're two hundred
and seventy five, pounds it's say you're even five to,
seven and you're just losing weight in that. Exercising that
shit's just hanging off.
Speaker 2: Body, SERIOUSLY i, KNOW i don't know how you, know
where did you come up with these? Numbers who's five
seven seventy? Five look at?
Speaker 3: Them i'm not five to, seven not too seventy.
Speaker 4: FIVE i ain't enough double.
Speaker 3: Eggs, yeah BUT i hear zempic that's going into your.
Body you don't really know the effects down the. Line
And i'll give you same with Like Lex luthor the.
Steroids how it affects you that you can barely walk
now and you don't have the muscle.
Speaker 4: Because you don't keep up with it like. Anything, YEAH
i don't THINK i would do a z.
Speaker 2: Epic, no but what about like if you wanted, to you,
know fill in some lines in your.
Speaker 3: Fail because once you start, that it's tough to. Stop, yeah,
okay you, know same with smoking off the shelking off
the shelf track For, yeah, no that doesn't sound. Good
you know you have the model. COMPLEX i want to
get more. PICTURES i want to take more. SELFIES i
want somebody look at me And facebook and get twenty
five likes instead of.
Speaker 2: Twenty, well you lose, uh you lose some of your
own fat due to, age do to other. Things you
get the off the shelf fat sounds like something you
buy a. Costco.
Speaker 3: UH i need to freeze, This Hey, bob go to,
This go To aisle eleven and give me some fat
SO i can put it in my cheek.
Speaker 4: Bows tonight we're going to The Waltons christmas.
Speaker 2: Party the demand is high, enough according to some, doctors
that they're running out of, this which tells me you're
selling fat from dead people from dead people from dead.
Speaker 4: People great, idea make as much money as you, can.
Speaker 2: Which tells me two. Things people are not nearly as
uncomfortable as you'd expect with getting some dead guys dead
person's fat in, you and or extremely good at normalizing
things once they. Work, now how do you check? Yourself
you're not you're going to a plastic. Surgeon oh, yeah
and it starts around any, guests what the price starts
around twelve hundred? Dollars no? Higher?
Speaker 4: Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah ten?
Speaker 3: Thousand wow to put fat in my?
Speaker 2: Face, WELL i think it lasts longer than. Botox it
does all that. Stuff it climbs quickly if you go multiple.
Areas doctors emphasize transparency and experience because despite the, convenience
this is still surgery. Adjacent safe doesn't mean. Casual you
gotta be uh their cosmetic. SURGERY i don't.
Speaker 4: Know so it's not covered by.
Speaker 2: ASSURANCE i don't believe it. Is, no should know it
shouldn't be getting. Fat, no, no not at. All the
insurance companies if they covered this and not somebody else's
cancer or, SOMETHING.
Speaker 3: I would be so, pissed just like EpiPens.
Speaker 2: Right for a long. Time, right there are people with
beastings and other allergies that are. Anaphylactic, yeah if you're
on drugsy and yet have you pen here you, go
but here your father is three to get stung by be?
Speaker 4: Sorry you sure is a company for you, know we'll
pay for the. Funeral it's. Cheaper we're getting. Fucked we're
just playing.
Speaker 2: SIMPLE i wanted to. Know can you sell your own? Fat?
Oh my living? FAT i want to lose. Weight we
get a liposuctioned out of. Me uh, no you cannot
legally sell your own. Fat and there are. Laws be,
dead you're ready for. This under laws such as The
National Organ Transplant act of nineteen eighty four in The United,
states it's illegal to sell human organs or, tissue which
includes fat tissue while you can.
Speaker 3: CAN i THINK i knew because people for a while
thought that you could cut half your liver, off, yeah
and donate it or sell it and let it grow.
Speaker 2: Back, Yeah BUT.
Speaker 4: I think that was more of an urban. Legend, now
maybe that was just.
Speaker 2: Donating patients undergoing lip one section can choose to donate
their discarded fat to medical research facilities or stem cell.
Speaker 3: Centers whatever happened to stem. Cell that was huge back
of The clinton.
Speaker 2: Day stem cell is still really. BIG i actually know
somebody who went To panama and paid fifteen thousand dollars
for stem cell stuff for arthritis to do the pain of. Arthritis,
yeah fifteen fucking. Group well, yeah you can donate fat to,
yourself so they could suck it out of. You hang
on a, second, doug they could suck it out of,
you store it for.
Speaker 3: Later my first, sentence and then you tell me so.
Up they can suck your fat out and then charge
you to give it back to, you.
Speaker 2: Donate, it donate to, yourself don't freeze it for, you
and then they'll inject it like into your leaky.
Speaker 3: Juggie get anything For. CHRISTMAS i just went to the
doctor and got some. Fat take it, out and then
he wrapped it AND i opened it Up christmas.
Speaker 2: Morning now here's the, problem like, fat fuck. Uh you
can't sell fat as a living tissue with unique genetic.
Markers if transferred to another, person their immune system would
likely reject, it causing serious infection. Illness because of this
donor fat from another. Person that's almost never used in medical.
Practice but they this, process they purify, it they get
THE dna out of. IT i don't know how they do,
that But i'm thinking eventually you're gonna be able to
sell your. Fat i'm thinking eventually you're gonna be able
to because fat and. Necrosis they have The brazilian butt,
lifts and there are a lot of people who are
talking about cardib and just an awful smell coming from cardi. B,
yeah like hot. Garbage and it occurs when some of
the transferred fat cells do not receive enough blood supply
and they. Die and this is dead tissue breaking down
it and it's, YEAH i.
Speaker 3: Think that would be the first thing you'd want to
say instead Of, oh it's gonna look. Great you're gonna look.
Fantastic by the, Way then the small, print chapter thirty,
seven paragraph, three SUBSECTION, a you might be a little.
Speaker 2: STINKY i wanted to know the average, age not that
somebody gets the, fat because the fat starts at ten,
grand but the average age that people begin, botox AND
i FOUND i don't know how reliable this would, be
but if anybody wants to check, themselves it's called fillersupplies Dot.
Com i'll ask the. Age but fillersupplies Dot com cites
the average botox patients. Age ass the average AGE i
wanted to know, start but this is the average age
of botox. Patients let's go, there because it doesn't mean
they started. There twenty five the average age of botox. Patients, wow,
okay uh forty, three but twenty four percent of clients
are between nineteen and thirty.
Speaker 4: Four.
Speaker 2: Nineteen, yeah, honey your, baby you know WHAT i.
Speaker 3: Mean they want to they want to, look they want
to be, attractive they want, followers they.
Speaker 2: Want, yeah you, know because you could get like here's
here's something though THAT i was thinking about with. This
just just just follow me on.
Speaker 3: This some, MEN i, Am i'm not, Leaving i'm. Listening
what the fuck else DO i got to? Do go
donate my fat to?
Speaker 2: Myself, well maybe.
Speaker 4: Get a bucket of chicken on the way to the. Doctors,
yeah pump up those. Numbers. Fat. Fuck BUT i.
Speaker 2: Wonder if you could get a loved one's a dead
loved ones, fat so like my dad passed. Away, right
some men are sculpting their chest out. Right you lose
a little of the. Elasticity you start Like Arnold schwarzenegger
with a shirt off as much As Arnod swarzenegger years
ago in a little saggy. Boob, right SO i could have.
Speaker 4: GOT i wouldn't call them Saggy, bill you can do
more pullships than you and your podcast. Sucks i'm gonna
come down the un ripped your arms off and beats
you over the head with them AND themna donate your
fat fat.
Speaker 2: Fuck but what IF i wanted to go keep my
dad close to my heart and get his fat injected
into my.
Speaker 4: Right you do, That bill, away car.
Speaker 2: Away other people Get some people get like an obituary
on their. Body you, Know dad nineteen forty five to.
WHATEVER I, YEAH i think if you got his fat,
injected what a living tribute.
Speaker 3: There my stepsisters their father was cremated and they both
have a little necklace with just a bit of his
ashes in. THERE i have seen the the OBITUARIES i have,
seen not for. Death but a GIRL i know has
the time that her daughter was.
Speaker 2: Born he forgets, like, like, Honestly i'm, like what are you.
Speaker 4: Doing daily savings? Time she looked at me ever thinking about,
it just like, so, YEAH i, guess well all the times.
Speaker 2: The, time the time was the time on that. Day,
yeah that's. Right, well, look people like tributes to each.
Other i'm just saying here's one people the fat prints
of their dogs all get the dogs fat put in
your fat. Ass there you, go there you. Go you
want to be a little. HUSKY i wanted to see.
MORE i want to read.
Speaker 3: IT i want to read, it read, it read, it read.
Speaker 2: IT i went on there AND i was looking for
again the average, age like how old are? People AND
i was kind of surprised this person VERY i mean
somebody injected in your. Butt, yeah if they were always
a pain in your, ass you can kiss get as
close to my wrecked them. With they're fat as. Possible
they're gonna get smeared by ship every time it goes.
Speaker 4: Out there you.
Speaker 2: GO i started at twenty. Eight this this, Person i'm
assuming a. Woman my first treatment was actually a pretty
big letdown as it wore off quickly AND i was
given for.
Speaker 4: Botox, yeah yeah it. Does how do you know these?
THINGS i.
Speaker 2: DON'T i think you're a mouth breathing house shaped.
Speaker 3: ON i have a friend that gets botox not only for,
skin but it helps with.
Speaker 2: Headaches, yes people who have. Migraines i've heard it.
Speaker 4: Helps, okay so you heard it, Too, yeah, okay say.
Speaker 2: WELL i just Think i'm a little more swamp Than.
Speaker 3: Yeah you're more worldly than. Me but, yeah It where's where's?
Speaker 2: All that was the first, time, right the first.
Speaker 3: Time there was a there was A tv Show Nip
tuck and they were competing against the, botox and one
of the doctors came in and started talking about the
pros and kinds of, botox, like, hey, here you gotta get,
here you gotta get it, here you gotta get it,
here and in a month you're gonna be right back.
Here or plastic. Surgery if you get it done, once
it's a little, more but it's gonna last for. Years,
yeah there's pros and cons and. Everything, Uh i'm told
first three even to wear off faster for most.
Speaker 2: People so don't be described if that. Happens if you're
worried about, pain don't Be you can only feel. Them
and another person, Writes, now this, person this is interesting
BECAUSE i have known people who've ben on botox. TOO
i think IF i even know a guy who has.
Botox And i'm only saying that BECAUSE i see pictures
and things are just too smooth unless it's a. Filter
BUT i don't, know like even in person when you get,
botox like you can't if you get in your, forehead
you can't raise your forehead for a little, while, right, right.
Speaker 4: So you have no?
Speaker 2: Lines, okay twenty nine year old person. Rights make sure
you are going to a skilled, injector word of mouth
or thorough digging through. REVIEWS i also go to a
board certified dermatologists cosmetic, surgeons but that does not necessarily
mean quality. Injector your first few rounds were off, fast
but that slows down to a. Degree no alcohol and
try not to work out after really does not hurt that.
Much FILLERS i found to be more, Painful love the,
effects AND i will continue to. Use i'm a, neuropsychologist
so emoting is kind of necessary on the. Job in other,
words she has to rik, like if someone's talking to,
her you're just. Listening as a, therapist you need to
kind of have facial, reaction don't. You but your face is. Frozen,
yeah could be.
Speaker 4: A bartender and have that frozen.
Speaker 2: Face i'm able to emoan, effectively although.
Speaker 4: Moan effectively a. Mote OH i think you said moan?
Speaker 2: Effectively, well although not as much as they say a
clinical psychologist who is the leading. THERAPY i am able
to moan, effectively and no one has noticed my more
limited range of. Motion my, god what are you.
Speaker 3: Having injected in your body?
Speaker 2: Botox?
Speaker 4: YEAH i know how? MUCH i, mean what is?
Speaker 2: It dead? SHIT i don't know what it.
Speaker 4: IS i don't.
Speaker 2: Know this is probably a reflection of my of the
skill of my injector versus botox. Itself AND i, go
you know, what this isn't about vanity as much AS
i THINK i think. It's, again it goes back to
what people want to control the way they look and
how they, feel and they feel better about themselves when
they do.
Speaker 3: That, well you're not going to make somebody else feel
that way about. You SO i guess you know there's
things about. ME i would change, weight being, one BUT i.
CAN'T i can't get taller. Too they do have implants
you can put that sounds so painful it, is but
they stretch your bones and. Ship, yeah they put a
bar in there and you do a half a centimeter
a weeker, month and you.
Speaker 4: Can can you be? Relentious all?
Speaker 2: Right let me ask you. This can you be a
person who is believes In god and and maybe at
some point thinks that everything that comes From god is
perfect in itself except for. ME i need to be taller. Slater,
still let me improve upon.
Speaker 4: It, well you, know somebody for.
Speaker 3: EVERYBODY i GUESS i like to believe that there's got
to be somebody out there for. Me, No i'm not
saying if you're call her three right.
Speaker 2: Now What i'm. Saying i'm, saying if you're a person
who believes In god And god is perfect and he
And god made you and you're, perfect and then he, decid, well,
No i'm really Not god fucked up on this. One
i'm gonna Get i'm gonna make myself, taller And i'm,
gonna you, know have the fat sucked. Out you're gonna
get my lips a little. FULLER i don't.
Speaker 3: Know there's some many banded pictures out. There people have
gone too. FAR i wonder what the percentage Of preston
plants are if they're still as prevalent as they, were you,
know ten twenty years.
Speaker 2: AGO i don't. Know looking at the videos you you
just showed, me i'd, say, no, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh, Ntrell yeah forget what?
Speaker 3: It how do you forget? That Because i'm listening to,
You i'm. Engaged i'm not thinking about the. SNATCH i
just On.
Speaker 2: Instagram we were all, Right. Instagram we're at the end
of the, well the beginning of a new. Year, yeah
and work with the. Calendar, yeah thank. You AND i
have Here this is the time to be grateful for
things every. YEAR i have here a list of things
that have been stuck in humans asses in twenty twenty.
Five oh you gonna do this? Now, well we're gonna
take a. Moment we're gonna do. It some people have
misjudged the. Capacity BUT i not only have, Asses, DOUG
i have, penis AND i have vaginas AND i have.
Speaker 4: Rectums, yeah there's.
Speaker 2: Three where would you like to think about? It during the,
break we'll go And i'll give you one and then tried.
It we'll try to decide how and. Why this, WAY
i never want to think about the. Why OH i.
DO i want to know why? Why this was a good? Idea,
YEAH i mean that is. Wrong, really don't knock it
till you try.
Speaker 4: It do you want to hear a Dad joe BEFORE i?
Go we?
Speaker 3: Go, okay my Buddy. Mike last week he works At Genesee.
Brewery he was in an accident and he lost his.
Leg oh, yeah so they put him in charge of.
Speaker 2: Hops hey more right after this new, year the same
nervous system doing parkour at three. Am, yeah well we've
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Speaker 4: Burnout this Is Donald Swaltz nigga and every Time i'm
here From, colorado ALL i want to do is sit
down With Bill, moran smoke my cigars and do Fifty hindred.
Pushups show him that he isn't such a girly. Man
you don't need the botox of buying the fat and reinjecting.
Speaker 3: Himself you just have to walk out and eat. Properly
and it's. Fantastic you can be just like. Me is
To live youa seven? Times you ever seen it on
a biography or his biography On?
Speaker 4: Netflix?
Speaker 2: YEAH i liked, it well.
Speaker 3: Done did you see The Giant candy one?
Speaker 2: Too?
Speaker 4: YE i Did Chevy chase.
Speaker 2: One, OH i don't.
Speaker 4: Know is it Where I'm chevy chasing your? Net?
Speaker 2: Oh is that?
Speaker 4: On?
Speaker 2: Uh is that one of the Streaming, YEAH i gotta.
See Maybe i'll take a look at That. Chevy. YEAH
i loved the. Vacations, well vacations were. Good BUT I.
FLETCH i really liked The fletch. Movie AND i did
an interview with. Him AND i opened the, Interview he's
on the phone and he was coming To. Uh he
travels now and he does The christmas. Vacation. Yeah the
question After, yeah so he was doing here at The
kodek there AND i had an interview with, him AND
i Said, chevy and he, goes It's, chevy you, Idiot
AND i think everybody in the rooms fincter got tight
AND i burst out, laughing and from there it was
just a great, interview great. Interview BUT i know some
people who have worked with him and do not have
nice things to. Say so, again some of. Them WHEN
i SAY i know, PEOPLE i know people who know
people who work with, THEM i do know some people
who have spent time WITH i can never tell because
it's not like they're hanging out with the guy every,
day you know WHAT i. Mean the woman always surprised
me for a long time was the shit That Jay
leno would, get, LIKE i love this Comic Bill. Hicks
Bill hicks passed away in the early, nineties young smoker
got cancer And bill was just a. RANTER i always
thought he was like a college professor with a, microphone
and he was pretty. Good and he used to go
off On Jay leno being a sellout and he's Doing
torito's commercials and blah blah, blah and Then Howard stern
for a while would go on about fuck, him and
And Ja Jane lenno is such an. Asshole this is
back When howard had like an edge and, shit and
other people be, like, Yeah letterman AND i always Preferred
dave Over, ja BUT i Knew. Jay BUT i gotta tell, you,
LIKE i have not heard from people who are In
jay's like inner, CIRCLE i, guess or or there's nobody
has a bad thing to say About. Jay, yeah like
he uh never spent any of his stand up comedy
money Or tonight show. Money he lived off there because he.
Could he would fly out every weekend and do stand.
Up he loved doing stand. Up that was his. Thing
and But i've heard like they came to him at
one point and NBC's, like we got to you, know
we're laying a bunch of people, off we got to
cut the staff and all, this and he's, like, no
we've been together for a. While he, goes what IF
i took half my? Salary SO i think for a
number of years we went From i'm.
Speaker 3: Just ten millionaire to.
Speaker 2: Keep everything like. That, yeah and he made sure that everybody,
stayed and they stayed for the seventeen year run that
he was at the.
Speaker 3: Time seventeen Years, yeah.
Speaker 2: And then, uh, YEAH i Just i've always heard nice
things About. Jay you, know people who are doing comedy
like in one room at the WHAT i don't know
whatever In Atlantic, city and there he's given flights back
to them on the on his private.
Speaker 3: Jet AND i don't, know there's a guy just on
one of The so what happens is you sit at
a night you're WATCHING tv and you're you're just scrolling through,
reels LIKE i, say whatever interests, you and there is
now a guy does A Donald trump. IMPERSONATION i don't
know IF i saved. IT i saved one of.
Speaker 4: THEM i, did and, uh he goes after, that goes
after but, Uh actress De, Niro, bobby how are? YOU
i know you don't like, Me, Bob, bob your your
career is. Done it's just so. Sad and then he
went After Alec. BALDWIN i saw that. One you did
see that?
Speaker 2: One it was like a year?
Speaker 4: Ago, yeah oh was that long? Ago? Yeah, Okay, yeah
guy's got a lot of balls.
Speaker 2: And, YEAH i mean the guy's trying to get his
kids out of the.
Speaker 4: Car, yeah.
Speaker 2: But it WAS i MEAN i THINK i Think alec
like threatened.
Speaker 4: Him.
Speaker 3: Yeah he, goes you, know if these cameras were, HERE
i break your fucking.
Speaker 2: Head oh he's got a short time of that. Guy all.
Right so according To, Doug according To, doug the, no
according to common DOUG Us Consumer Products Safety Commissions database
of emergency room, visits all descriptions are, verbatim and all
the people involved had a very bad. Time.
Speaker 4: Verbatim big. WORD i know what it. MEANS i can
almost spell.
Speaker 2: It what would you like to start? With? What what
appendage are we going?
Speaker 4: With gosh or?
Speaker 2: Orifice?
Speaker 3: Penis? Okay what is somebody putting in?
Speaker 4: There? Urethra?
Speaker 2: Yeah a? BATTERY a, Battery i'm thinking it doesn't say single.
Speaker 4: A have you ever seen a pierced?
Speaker 2: Penis, yes, yeah Now i've seen A, NO i have
not seen a pierced penis through the.
Speaker 4: Ear i've seen it underneath the.
Speaker 2: Mushroom i've seen the pierce scrot.
Speaker 3: Them, Okay, no that you put a ring on the
front through the? Auretha why anybody would want to try
to do?
Speaker 4: THAT i don't.
Speaker 2: KNOW a chess.
Speaker 3: PIECE a chess piece is a bishop or rook because
it makes a.
Speaker 2: DIFFERENCE a comb a? Comb how did you do that?
Speaker 4: One why would?
Speaker 2: You how did you do that?
Speaker 4: One?
Speaker 2: Uh? Headphones i'm thinking like small. EARBUDS i don't. Know,
okay somebody according to this about out with your cacau
and alan wrench stuck in their. Dick come, on that sounds.
Speaker 3: Impossible why would you even try?
Speaker 2: THAT i don't. Know would you like to go to the? Ladies? Yes,
uh this is one THAT i, Go, wow this is
maing for the. Ladies, uh there's a lot.
Speaker 4: Here, okay, FLASHLIGHT.
Speaker 2: I don't think. So not this, Year not this. Year no.
Speaker 4: A, brick a, Thermos, no.
Speaker 2: Here we goa how about a holiday?
Speaker 4: Bell holiday?
Speaker 2: Bell bell bell so you could hear, yeah cow? Bell. Sure,
uh let's. See i'm trying to. THINK a plastic orca
uh inserted two diamond rings in her vagina while at
a party in fear they would be. Stolen that's the
report from the emergency. ROOM i kind of get. It
just stop going to those kind of leave your rings at. Home,
uh reports a bag of marijuana has been in her
vagina for two days and is.
Speaker 3: Uncomfortable how about that? Smell it's the, wheat it's the.
SALMON a hah was using a piece of plastic to
masturbate really when got spooked by the wind outside and
threw a sheet over herself in the, process lodging the
piece of plastic deeper into her vagina and wasn't able to.
Speaker 4: Retrieve that's gotta be. Scary what do you?
Speaker 2: DO i don't, know try. Tweezers, uh a detergent. Pod,
NOW i wonder if you were trying to make it smell.
Better maybe downy fresh.
Speaker 4: Tide out tied any? Tide oh McDonald's head.
Speaker 2: Up and here was your one beer. Bottle was on
a cruise on her.
Speaker 3: Honeymoon, yeah then they have the, vibrator so we're going
to use the old.
Speaker 4: Quisling, now now we go from.
Speaker 3: The front to the, back and the back the back
has three, pages four, pages.
Speaker 2: Three, pages three. Pages you're, right three. Pages here we.
Speaker 4: Go let me let me take some take some.
Speaker 2: GUESSES i don't THINK i saw on.
Speaker 3: Here, well obviously rodents or gerbils or, hamster, none none
of that fire.
Speaker 4: EXTINGUISHER a pool BALL.
Speaker 2: A pool ball meaning like an eight, ball like like
you're playing a football.
Speaker 4: Hockey an?
Speaker 2: Egg an?
Speaker 3: Egg, yeah don't you dare waste my? Eggs who came?
FIRST a chicken Or bob.
Speaker 2: Was being insmitt with his girlfriend and they shoved a
rectangular traveled toothbrush holder in his rectum that he was
able to get half of it. Out about having, this
how do you sit down and and and and take
yourself to the emergency? Room how do you do?
Speaker 4: That you gotta lay down to the back seat of the.
Car So i've, heard, uh Doctor, bob the surgery Doctor.
Speaker 2: Bob here's my. Favorite this is my, answer uncooked pastadee.
Speaker 3: Is that the uncooked pasta is the elbow. PASTA i
don't know what angel hair you?
Speaker 4: Want angel hair in your? Ass who? Doesn't and then
you get in the hot tub and, boom you got
a meal without going in the. Kitchen here's here's.
Speaker 2: A quote from an emergency room states he has a
farm body in his rectum that is. Vibrating he states
he was with a girl last night and doesn't remember.
Much my, man my, man.
Speaker 4: That sounds like something you would.
Speaker 3: TELL i, know you, KNOW i, know like last, Night, BILL.
Speaker 4: I was at my mamam O connery's From Far Too
little and it's the fifteen minutes fifty. Five, goodness her
name was my, Man my, man my, man.
Speaker 2: My reports having a six in vibrator in rectum since
two pm, today doesn't recall replacing vibrator and. Rectum also
reported taking poppers at the time.
Speaker 4: He had. It what a two?
Speaker 2: Eight does he give it? TIME i mean at two
pm two? Pm reports having a six inch vibrator in
rectum since two pm, TODAY i don't know what time
this is BEING i mean commercial.
Speaker 4: Still. Going.
Speaker 2: Uh there was one that made me laugh. Really oh
he inserted the light bulb into his rectum this morning
with the glass side, first and due to the suction
effect the, bulb the bulb got sucked. Up now here's
the problem with removing, that BECAUSE i remember reading a
story about a guy who did something. Similar is you're
you're Not you're not a pioneer in this my friend
who did, THIS i don't know who it, is but
they try very hard not to break it because if it,
perforates you're. Intestines you're, done, Basically and this guy died
as a result of. That, yeah went. Out he he
had a great. IDEA a light bulb went, off stuck
it on my. Ass oh here's my one of my favorites, too.
Nails why because some chicks sticking her finger with Her
oh not like, No i'm THINKING i don't know. Fingernails
i'm thinking it says. Nails i'm thinking, fingernails and then
because it's followed by screws and, nails so that's WHY
i went nails, first then.
Speaker 4: Screws the.
Speaker 2: Nails patient states he put a baseball in his rectum
to see what it. Felt why not get.
Speaker 4: Bored they're lowly.
Speaker 2: Reports he slipped in the shower and the shampoo bottle
went into his. Rectum that's an old one states he
was in the, shower was bored and pop. Bottle it's.
Direct it just never. Disappoints and this is the twenty
twenty five, list the complete. List if you want to find,
it it's easy to.
Speaker 3: Find they still is a Dart ones. List people, Die.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah hy buddy really loves that and WHENEVER i see
WHEN i sent it to, him BUT i haven't seen
one in a long. Time it used to be years
ago four four people a year would die from vending
machines falling at him because you're.
Speaker 4: Banging, yeah they're they're.
Speaker 3: Bagging ships can fall, out so they start.
Speaker 2: Dollars fifty following, this donate your fat and you can buy.
Speaker 4: More DO i Want? Cheetos? Pretzels or some of my
own FAT a five.
Speaker 2: BEATTY i just love that they call it in that
surgery off the shelf? FAT i just what's next? Cost
go clean up a nile five off the shelf fat?
Speaker 3: Spill, well they say, things history repeats, itself So i'm
thinking hoping that someday it almost goes back to the
little house in the prairie.
Speaker 4: Days we don't have.
Speaker 3: Technology we have manners and, courtesy BUT i don't see
that happening in our.
Speaker 4: Lifetimes what is wrong with? You what's wrong with? Me
what do you?
Speaker 2: MEAN i think?
Speaker 4: People do you know how many PEOPLE i work with
during the?
Speaker 2: Week?
Speaker 4: No, yeah or see?
Speaker 2: Courteous not? NICE i got dripped on AND i didn't even.
Speaker 3: Complain, yeah now they guy's drip it all over everybody
because you. Didn't because that guy's not, courteous let's not
call it at.
Speaker 2: Him, now there is one here.
Speaker 4: Society it's not his.
Speaker 2: Fault there was somebody to get candle wax in their. Penis,
NOW i remember in, College, uh do you ever have?
Speaker 4: Anybody?
Speaker 2: NO i have.
Speaker 4: NOT i have not.
Speaker 2: Either BUT i had a buddy in college who had
this girlfriend WHO i found something really kind of sexy about,
her and she was sort of, understated but there was
you were like, ooh AND i was always like man
and he's, like, yeah he, goes she likes to have
candle wax.
Speaker 4: DRIP i, go what.
Speaker 2: LIKE I and you gotta think that's fairly young to.
Speaker 4: Be so didn't you ever do that as a?
Speaker 3: KID i, mean candle wax on your hand and you
like peel it off like it was faking not to
drip it on some.
Speaker 2: Chicks. Rack that's what he was. DOING i understand.
Speaker 3: THAT i just asked you if you ever drip some
on yourself as a, kid just see how.
Speaker 4: Felt.
Speaker 2: NO i used to run my fingers through the flame
as slow AS i could in a. Candle, okay do
THAT i might have stuck my.
Speaker 4: Fing you try to push the boundaries even a little
bit as a. Child and then she took it a
LITTLE i mean if she went candle wax dripped on
her tits.
Speaker 2: And this is why he used to say, that and
then sometimes it would drip. ON i was, GOING i
don't know IF i would ever do. THIS i think
was oddly intrigued the fact that this, woman and here's
the thing, is like most, PEOPLE i don't think become
sexually comfortable to talk about what they want until they're.
OLDER i don't.
Speaker 3: Think, Well i've talked to married friends and they said
it's still the hardest they could talk about with their
wife of over twenty.
Speaker 2: Years, yeah it.
Speaker 3: Sex, yeah you, KNOW i think you're still waiting for
to suck your balls and say, say, hey, honey would
you try something different? Night because then you want it.
NOW i told her to do it. Now it's, not
as you, know but she's never done. It so you
got to talk about this. Season get the baseball BECAUSE
i want to see where it feels Like i'm my. Rectum,
okay you're gonna be babe bathed And i'm going to
be a bend.
Speaker 2: Over Randy johnson's about to deliver.
Speaker 4: This we'll go trying new. Things, yeah you gotta make it.
Speaker 3: SPICY i was talking to somebody yesterday maybe ABOUT i
think it was about comedy and, like you, know being
married for twenty.
Speaker 4: Years, Yeah god bless.
Speaker 3: You BUT i mean you get a new car every
SEVEN i think you should be married for seven years.
Speaker 4: And then what you got and then, hey and hey
what go get a new? Car new?
Speaker 2: Wife you? Want the wife could do the same.
Speaker 3: THING i want to be. MARRIED i want to try.
It you, SEE i talk to divorce. People you never
get married, again now try to once tried it once.
Good it's good for people to.
Speaker 4: Try try a. Marriage now you got two, kids now
they're split.
Speaker 2: Up so, YEAH i MEAN i Never. YEAH i don't
think most people go in with that. ATTITUDE i think
you go, in.
Speaker 3: Yes i'm gonna love this person, forever.
Speaker 2: And THEN i think things. Changed people. Change, yes someone's not,
happy someone's, like your.
Speaker 4: Car gets a little run.
Speaker 3: Down, yeah it's not the same you, know same, build
it doesn't go as. Fast you, know it's not as.
Comfortable smell, Changes oh, yeah and then you know seven years, later, like,
YEAH i kind of want a new. Car you go
to the car lot and you're, like, HEY i got something.
NEW i love Their Apple. CORES i didn't have a twenty.
Fifteen now you got a twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: Five you ever find an Old Apple core like under
the car? Seat now to imagine that being stuck up the. Vagina,
yeah twenty years, later woh, go the smell has. CHANGED
I I i hear what you're. SAYING i think a
lot of people have said these things.
Speaker 4: Having never even been in a.
Speaker 2: Gage, no, no, NO i get, it but there ARE i.
DON'T i think the one thing that we are not
good at in relationships is.
Speaker 3: Communication OH i would say that's the key to Any,
relationshipiah BUT i MEAN i think for any. Relationship you
could say that for friendships and things as. Well BUT
i really think in especially in relationships that are intimate or,
more just to be able to have that open communication
so everybody kind of knows where they're, at and that
you can be comfortable enough to, say, HEY i like,
THIS i like to try.
Speaker 2: IT i just don't think That i'd.
Speaker 4: Never heard come in with a candle.
Speaker 2: License i'm, saying, honey we're gonna.
Speaker 4: What are you.
Speaker 3: Doing i'm, like, WELL i want to try something. Different
take your shirt. Off, no you're not putting. Help it's
gonna end right. THERE i get.
Speaker 2: It but like that was the part that always shocked,
Me LIKE i Was, GOD i THINK i was twenty,
one twenty, two maybe BECAUSE i had taken a year
off so it was my senior. Year it was twenty,
two And i'm, LIKE i don't know anybody who knows
their sexuality like this. BROAD i didn't hear of anybody
that was, like you, know guys would. TALK i don't
remember any of, that, right you. Know and then as
time went on in life you learn different. Things but oh, yeah,
yeah but the hot wax is SOMETHING i never. DID
i just always, THOUGHT i.
Speaker 4: Can't remember last TIME i talked about. That, well hot. Wax,
yeah when you got your car.
Speaker 2: Buffed, hey, Hey, dave to get your car hot, wax, buddy.
Speaker 4: He'll, fight burn the house. Down well it's, handshake you,
Know so get on the ass on the carpets and make.
Speaker 2: Yourselves how did this fire? Start? Well, uh what we were,
trying something, nice.
Speaker 3: Something, new eighty years, old. Sir, Yeah why he's a
dog on.
Speaker 4: Fire, wow.
Speaker 2: That's the note to go out On Dougie. Fresh that was. Beautiful,
oh Happy New york Te back to, work back to
school for. Everybody we will have a recap of The
bills game on the next episode and we'll talk all
our Go niners stuff and The. Niners uh, yeah we'll
know by the time this episode even is, released will
know how The niners. Fair this is for the number,
one number one, seeds so they get a buy if they.
Speaker 4: Win when they, win and all our players get that
buy all our Sick your players might be back for
the playoffs or at least The Super. Bowl really, yeah very.
Interesting yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh For Dougie, Fresh I'm Bill. Ran we'll see you tomorrow.
PLEASE s
Speaker 4: Five