WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:03.120 Welcome to men, Sex and Tantra. 2 00:00:03.680 --> 00:00:06.759 Discover where your parents, porn and religion never taught you 3 00:00:06.799 --> 00:00:10.439 about being a man and having extraordinary sex. Get ready 4 00:00:10.439 --> 00:00:16.280 to have your mind blown and your world rocked. All right, 5 00:00:16.359 --> 00:00:20.039 we are back. Courageous Matthias is hanging out still with me. 6 00:00:20.399 --> 00:00:22.480 This is not tapping into his courage at all. He's 7 00:00:22.679 --> 00:00:25.000 one of the more courageous men that I've met in 8 00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:30.120 my life, and so we're gonna be talking about courage, 9 00:00:30.600 --> 00:00:34.479 my top value, one of my favorite things to absolutely 10 00:00:34.560 --> 00:00:38.320 talk about. I'll be interested to see Maamtathias has to 11 00:00:38.359 --> 00:00:40.320 say about this and how does it fit in to 12 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:43.200 you know, how we live. Obviously, the topics we've been 13 00:00:43.240 --> 00:00:47.320 covering have not. You could say, well, we didn't specifically 14 00:00:47.679 --> 00:00:51.359 talk about sex relationships, but the reality is we do. 15 00:00:51.880 --> 00:00:55.039 Every single thing that anybody it talks about on this 16 00:00:55.159 --> 00:00:57.759 show fits in. Even if you listen to the wolf 17 00:00:57.799 --> 00:01:01.439 guy guy talking about wolves clearly fits into our dynamic 18 00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:05.120 as humans as well. So you know what I'm going 19 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:07.159 to say. This is going to be offensive. Are you ready? 20 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:11.120 Trigger warning? Offensive comment coming along? If the stuff is 21 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:13.439 over your head, you probably want to go watch somebody 22 00:01:13.439 --> 00:01:16.120 else's podcast. Just saying, don't write me an email that 23 00:01:16.200 --> 00:01:21.439 says Tanya, I can't you just see what face, Tanya, 24 00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:25.439 I cannot understand a fuck to on anything of what 25 00:01:25.480 --> 00:01:27.519 you guys are saying. I'm like, love you. 26 00:01:27.719 --> 00:01:28.159 I love you. 27 00:01:28.200 --> 00:01:30.200 Please don't ask see in the email and ask me 28 00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:32.959 to explain it all. What you could do instead is 29 00:01:33.079 --> 00:01:35.760 give me a email that says I'd like to know 30 00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:38.599 more about this topic, or could you go into more 31 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:42.079 depth about this topic? Complain to me and it literally 32 00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:44.400 it's like, I just look at your email. You can't 33 00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:45.879 see me right now. I wish you could, but let 34 00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:49.680 me describe it. I look at your email, this disdainful 35 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:51.879 look comes across my face. I shake my head and 36 00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:54.120 I hit delete. So don't do that. It's just wasting 37 00:01:54.159 --> 00:01:58.000 your time. But I'm happy to go deeper into conversations 38 00:01:58.040 --> 00:02:00.200 that you feel are important that you want want to 39 00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:03.400 know more about. You can also, like, you know, hit 40 00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:06.159 me up on Facebook, ask for a request, I take request, 41 00:02:06.239 --> 00:02:08.439 write a post about this or whatever. Just you know, 42 00:02:08.520 --> 00:02:13.319 feel free to actually like, oh, take charge and ask 43 00:02:13.360 --> 00:02:16.280 for what you need. That's good, yeah, in that way 44 00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:21.479 with clarity, Okay, so courage, I'm gonna let you start 45 00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:24.759 the charge on that with your courageous action Withias, and 46 00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:27.319 I loved your face you just did. We're awesome. 47 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:32.840 Okay, Well, it's funny that you that you actually had 48 00:02:32.840 --> 00:02:35.599 that take courage and ask for what you truly need. 49 00:02:37.840 --> 00:02:46.840 You think, Yeah, so I guess that it seems like 50 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:52.520 that would would tie in uh actually to uh well 51 00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:56.240 that that definition of a true need mm hmm. And 52 00:02:56.319 --> 00:02:59.039 it has to do with with with courage. 53 00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:00.639 Mm hmm. 54 00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:05.039 But let's actually go back to it. I will. So, 55 00:03:05.199 --> 00:03:09.520 for for me, courage is simply that which is in 56 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:16.439 alignment with a particular vowel value or goal. Hm. And 57 00:03:16.560 --> 00:03:20.479 so so I'll explain a situation and about kind of 58 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:25.360 why I'm saying that is you maybe you've done this yourself. 59 00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:29.039 You've seen others where let's say that there's a guy 60 00:03:29.080 --> 00:03:31.960 who goes in traffic and you know, he sees a 61 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:34.919 girl or an animal or whatever, risks risk their own 62 00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:37.520 life to to save this person. 63 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:38.879 Me. 64 00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:44.960 Yeah, you know, yeah firefighters. And then you know at 65 00:03:44.960 --> 00:03:47.400 the end, somebody after say oh my gosh, like you 66 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:50.719 were so courageous. Invariably the person will just kind of 67 00:03:50.759 --> 00:03:53.080 like shrug and say, well, it's just what needed to 68 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:58.439 get done. Yeah, so I would submit that that that 69 00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:03.639 essentially that that you, whether Utahannya or others, were basically 70 00:04:05.159 --> 00:04:10.960 just simply acting in alignment with a particular value or 71 00:04:11.039 --> 00:04:14.599 goal that you had. So in this case, using that 72 00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:20.279 could continue with that example, sanctity of life, sanctity a 73 00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:29.959 value of wanting to preserve life. Yeah right and so yeah, 74 00:04:30.040 --> 00:04:37.519 so so really having that reframe, having that reframe of courage, 75 00:04:37.720 --> 00:04:40.800 then it's like, oh well, it's actually maybe not this 76 00:04:41.120 --> 00:04:44.839 huge thing or in a certain way, it's just it's 77 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:48.839 just simply that. And so even the idea of you know, 78 00:04:48.839 --> 00:04:52.839 and even like with my upcoming book Leading from Courageous Vulnerability, 79 00:04:53.279 --> 00:04:55.319 the one thing that I hope anybody gets from reading 80 00:04:55.319 --> 00:04:57.800 it is to have the courage to do what they 81 00:04:57.879 --> 00:05:02.480 know that they need to do. Anyways. Yeah, and so 82 00:05:03.480 --> 00:05:09.000 but it's like breaking that, Yeah, it's maybe not as 83 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:11.199 big of a jump as you might think. 84 00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:17.319 So not creating epic heroism in that regard of thinking 85 00:05:17.439 --> 00:05:20.480 that it's things above and beyond what we would be 86 00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:25.959 called to do. I so most people you know will 87 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:28.480 tell I mean, anybody that knows me's like, holy fuck, 88 00:05:28.519 --> 00:05:30.879 you're the most courageous person I ever know, you know ever, 89 00:05:31.160 --> 00:05:36.600 and that's actually yes and no. Like number one, I 90 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:40.079 was a very fearful child. I knew at a very 91 00:05:40.079 --> 00:05:43.680 young age all the consequences that could happen from things 92 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:47.720 that I was doing, like beyond how most children knew, like, oh, 93 00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:49.800 I could die doing that. I could get seriously hurt 94 00:05:49.800 --> 00:05:55.759 doing that. So my mom had to bypass those things 95 00:05:56.480 --> 00:05:58.720 to like, well, just take ice skating. So I was 96 00:05:58.759 --> 00:06:01.240 like three years old or four years old, I think, 97 00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:03.560 and we lived on a lake and it froze over 98 00:06:03.800 --> 00:06:05.720 and everybody ice skated, and I would sit out in 99 00:06:05.720 --> 00:06:07.839 my yard and look at everybody ice skating, and I'd 100 00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:09.879 really want to do it right, but I was like, 101 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:12.680 that's a fuck no, you could fall, hit your head, die. 102 00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:15.120 Like at a very young age, I already knew all 103 00:06:15.160 --> 00:06:18.439 of this. So my mom was like, you want ice skating. 104 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:20.519 I'm like yeah, and I wanted it badly, and she 105 00:06:20.560 --> 00:06:23.319 goes like, you know, skate and I'm like she'll it's like, 106 00:06:23.319 --> 00:06:25.160 I'll hold your hand, and I'm like no, because you 107 00:06:25.160 --> 00:06:29.480 could fall, and then I that's not just. So she 108 00:06:29.720 --> 00:06:32.360 ended up going to get this little wooden sewing chair, 109 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:35.600 you know, and she goes, well, how about if you 110 00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:37.800 put you put this out in front of you and 111 00:06:37.800 --> 00:06:40.560 you hold that, and I'm like, oh, the chair will 112 00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:42.839 not fall because of the four legs. Blah blah, idiot, 113 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:44.959 who what three year old? But just let's say right, 114 00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:48.560 so I'm out there now skating because I got the chair, 115 00:06:48.600 --> 00:06:50.879 and then I get like, you know, those little bursts 116 00:06:50.879 --> 00:06:55.079 of like, let oh the chair. So definitely spent a 117 00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:57.199 lot of time being afraid. I was an international horse 118 00:06:57.199 --> 00:07:00.000 show jumper and I would sit in the box ready 119 00:07:00.120 --> 00:07:02.720 to be on deck next and what was going through 120 00:07:02.720 --> 00:07:05.399 my mind was holy fucked time, and you're fucking insane. 121 00:07:05.680 --> 00:07:08.199 Do you know, like the blah blah blah statistics of 122 00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:10.240 the whatever do to double, Like how many people break 123 00:07:10.279 --> 00:07:13.560 their fucking neck? This is going on. They all goes off, 124 00:07:13.639 --> 00:07:18.279 and I'm like in the zone fearless, Wow, shark attack, 125 00:07:18.480 --> 00:07:21.399 I get back in the water, gune to my head, whatever. 126 00:07:21.519 --> 00:07:25.720 And so it feels very juxtaposing. But I would say 127 00:07:25.720 --> 00:07:29.920 I have to use courage, and that means for me, 128 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:33.319 the ability to move through the fear to the thing 129 00:07:33.399 --> 00:07:39.519 I want anyway, So being vulnerable scared to be vulnerable 130 00:07:40.040 --> 00:07:45.240 right and move through the thing anyway when it comes 131 00:07:45.279 --> 00:07:49.199 to reflex actions like I am the person. All my 132 00:07:49.240 --> 00:07:51.959 partners have known this. When I yell stop the car. 133 00:07:52.120 --> 00:07:55.839 If I'm not driving, I'm already out the door. You 134 00:07:55.879 --> 00:07:57.839 better fuck It doesn't matter how fast we're going, because 135 00:07:57.839 --> 00:08:02.959 I'm on an animal rescue. Oh that there is no 136 00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:08.600 fear I see something else in danger. I don't have 137 00:08:08.680 --> 00:08:11.199 that fear. There is no fear. I'm stepping out of 138 00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:13.240 the car at sixty miles an hour like you better 139 00:08:13.240 --> 00:08:19.800 fucking stop the car, right, And because my care concern 140 00:08:20.120 --> 00:08:25.040 about something else that's vulnerable. Right. Baby mama and her 141 00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:27.240 baby ducks stuck on the side of a ramp where 142 00:08:27.240 --> 00:08:30.079 they had no way to go except to stay up 143 00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:32.960 against there and they were all going to get smashed. Yeah, 144 00:08:33.240 --> 00:08:35.840 I'm like, I fucking stop, you know, sixty mile an 145 00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:38.840 hour traffic, and was like no, I'm fucking gonna do this, 146 00:08:38.919 --> 00:08:41.120 and police was called on me. It was all sorts 147 00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:43.840 of a scene rescue a bull running down the middle 148 00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:45.879 of the road. People are like you're insane, and I'm 149 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:50.399 like no, he'll follow me. You know, I was pregnant. 150 00:08:50.440 --> 00:08:53.679 I was a much pregnant, and the baby daddy was like, 151 00:08:54.440 --> 00:08:56.679 get in the car. What are you doing in front 152 00:08:56.720 --> 00:08:58.759 of that bull? Because he was like he was going 153 00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:02.039 after people. I just turned my back on him, closed 154 00:09:02.039 --> 00:09:05.399 my eyes and started breathing, and he came up behind me, 155 00:09:05.559 --> 00:09:08.039 touched my back, and I just walked him to a pasture. 156 00:09:08.600 --> 00:09:13.200 Oh wow, that is so cool. 157 00:09:14.559 --> 00:09:17.240 Scary dives, repelling out of helicopters in a dive site 158 00:09:17.240 --> 00:09:19.720 with Navy seal buddies, you know, doing insane stuff. But 159 00:09:20.279 --> 00:09:23.159 so to me, courage, there's two. That's the two aspects. 160 00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:27.840 You're right, I don't consider courage to do the thing 161 00:09:27.919 --> 00:09:31.480 you're compelled to do, even if you're a little bit scared. 162 00:09:32.279 --> 00:09:35.240 I think courage is the doing the things that are 163 00:09:35.480 --> 00:09:38.120 freaking scary to do, but you don't have to do them. 164 00:09:38.639 --> 00:09:40.840 Mm hmm maybe so. 165 00:09:42.120 --> 00:09:43.200 Mm hmmmm. 166 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:48.440 Mm hmm yeah, m m. 167 00:09:52.679 --> 00:09:53.200 Mm hmmm. 168 00:09:59.080 --> 00:10:00.679 He's breathing. I'm looking at him. 169 00:10:00.679 --> 00:10:01.000 Breathe. 170 00:10:01.080 --> 00:10:03.480 So you guys are like, what happened to that? We'll 171 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:05.679 show my blank it's because it's not video. You're like, 172 00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:06.559 what's happening here? 173 00:10:07.320 --> 00:10:10.559 Yeah? I mean I could I could see that. Do 174 00:10:10.600 --> 00:10:14.279 you have a either like a question or a thought 175 00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:15.960 or a you. 176 00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:22.799 Know, yeah, absolutely, so you know in summary of what 177 00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:25.559 you said, like, you know, courage, there's the value. I 178 00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:28.039 love the aspect that you're like, you know, that sanctity 179 00:10:28.039 --> 00:10:31.240 of life in alignment with your values? Is it really 180 00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:34.200 courageous heroism? Is it heroism? So I think we need 181 00:10:34.200 --> 00:10:38.919 to find the difference between courage and heroic. Sure, you know, 182 00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:42.799 there's one thing to think about. Another thing is you 183 00:10:42.840 --> 00:10:44.879 know we all hear it, feel the fear, and do 184 00:10:44.919 --> 00:10:48.720 it anyway? You know? Is that the real mark of 185 00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:54.679 courageous action? It? You know, courage is my number one value. 186 00:10:54.720 --> 00:10:58.120 The thing that help courage helps me do is be 187 00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:04.600 vulnerable when it's scary. It's to be flexible when I 188 00:11:04.600 --> 00:11:12.120 don't want to be. It's so much be quote unquote honest. 189 00:11:12.200 --> 00:11:17.360 It's transparent. It's not honest, right, Be transparent when it's scary, 190 00:11:18.120 --> 00:11:21.080 have conversations. I don't like conflict, just like anybody else. 191 00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:23.399 Though people seem to think I'm cool with it, it's 192 00:11:23.440 --> 00:11:27.279 not actually true. It's just that I have the courage 193 00:11:27.600 --> 00:11:31.360 to Maybe this is a value. I don't waste time. 194 00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:33.879 I don't want to waste time. I believe in kindness. 195 00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:36.720 To me, clarity is kindness. So I'm not willing to 196 00:11:36.759 --> 00:11:40.799 make somebody suffer because I'm scared to have a conversation. Yeah, 197 00:11:42.960 --> 00:11:46.919 So where does courage play into relationships, into sex, into 198 00:11:47.080 --> 00:11:47.720 any of these. 199 00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:53.320 I think it's a big, it's a big, it's a 200 00:11:53.399 --> 00:11:56.919 it's a I think they play into all of them. 201 00:11:57.120 --> 00:11:59.720 And like I think it was the second episode we 202 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:01.759 was at the second of the first we talked about 203 00:12:01.879 --> 00:12:08.240 vulnerability and and and in terms of this whole idea 204 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:14.080 of leading from courageous vulnerability. Really, I see that as 205 00:12:14.159 --> 00:12:18.200 as something that is and and as I think, as 206 00:12:18.440 --> 00:12:21.120 I believe as Brene Brown as the quote of you know, 207 00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:26.919 vulnerability is required for connection, and it takes courage to 208 00:12:26.919 --> 00:12:32.480 be able to do that, whether whether you are being 209 00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:37.840 vulnerable sharing something with a partner, whether you are putting 210 00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:42.320 yourself out there in uh, let's say a professional standpoint 211 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:50.440 and a context. It that is leaning into that discomfort 212 00:12:50.559 --> 00:12:54.039 and doing the thing anyway I think is a is 213 00:12:54.120 --> 00:12:58.840 a really Yeah. I mean, it's it's something that it's 214 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:03.279 going outside of your com zone in a way that 215 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:08.519 at least for me and my my experience of it, 216 00:13:08.519 --> 00:13:10.879 it's like going out of the out of my own 217 00:13:10.919 --> 00:13:15.200 comfort zone. And I know it's it's for it's for 218 00:13:15.279 --> 00:13:18.639 a larger purpose. It's for it's not just for me. 219 00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:24.120 It's not just because you know, I don't know. Yeah, 220 00:13:24.120 --> 00:13:27.000 it's not just for me. It's for it's for a 221 00:13:27.080 --> 00:13:29.960 greater it's for greater cost. 222 00:13:30.759 --> 00:13:34.279 Right. So yeah, so then it's like we could have 223 00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:37.039 like the courage that, let's just call it selfish courage, 224 00:13:37.080 --> 00:13:39.360 is self serving courage, And then we could have the 225 00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:42.639 courage that it's like, I'm on that purpose, that mission 226 00:13:43.159 --> 00:13:47.600 that requires me to grow in ways, and I think 227 00:13:47.720 --> 00:13:50.759 that that that I love this distinction, you know, there 228 00:13:51.039 --> 00:13:54.080 the courageousness of you know, my mission is calling on 229 00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:57.320 me to be bigger than I might be. So for me, 230 00:13:57.440 --> 00:14:00.480 like the book, the book's going to take right action 231 00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:04.480 for me to do. It was courageous for me to 232 00:14:04.559 --> 00:14:07.159 go find this teacher. It was courageous for me to 233 00:14:07.159 --> 00:14:09.279 do all the shit that all these crazy people told 234 00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:12.519 me to do well outside my comfort zone. So I 235 00:14:14.519 --> 00:14:17.480 want to invite people to think about the fact that 236 00:14:18.279 --> 00:14:25.159 courage is a muscle and brain training that you do. Like, 237 00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:27.799 you know, there's spontaneous courageous action which you can never 238 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:30.519 train for. It's just something you do, you know, whatever. 239 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:35.240 But This other piece of courage is something you have 240 00:14:35.320 --> 00:14:39.440 to practice and train. It's like you feel uncomfortable, Okay, 241 00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:41.600 what do you do in that moment? Do you shrink 242 00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:43.559 back to your discomfort or do you train your body 243 00:14:43.559 --> 00:14:47.480 and your brain that you can move into without compartmentalizing 244 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:51.799 Because we tend to say, you know, veterans, first responders 245 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:54.399 place lots of people like this, and I work with 246 00:14:54.480 --> 00:14:58.519 Navy seals and special ops people. It's like they compartmentalize, 247 00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:02.039 which is different than courageous. They're not actually feeling the 248 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:05.320 feelings that are happening. They've learned to disconnect and be 249 00:15:05.559 --> 00:15:10.519 a moment of That doesn't take courage. That is not 250 00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:14.320 courageous action. That is a disconnect. Courageous action requires that 251 00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:18.879 you literally feel the fuck at everything you're feeling and 252 00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:22.519 then be able to move into it. So when it 253 00:15:22.519 --> 00:15:27.720 comes to relationships, that's really the gold because you are 254 00:15:27.759 --> 00:15:32.279 literally talking about embodiment of that taking that courageous step 255 00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:36.639 to trust yourself when you know you lie about everything, 256 00:15:37.399 --> 00:15:43.919 stop it, start committing, stop lying right the courageous action 257 00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:48.360 to live. I have had my heart broken or broken 258 00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:52.039 my own heart, whatever whichever you prefer. Ah so many 259 00:15:52.039 --> 00:15:56.000 times I've lost count and I find myself like, is 260 00:15:56.039 --> 00:16:00.440 it courageous action that I am optimistic and like won't 261 00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:04.080 close that up because of the past? Or is that 262 00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:06.639 like part of my value system or part of my mission? 263 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:11.600 You know? So these are questions to ponder. I guess too, right, 264 00:16:12.120 --> 00:16:14.720 it takes courageous action to love if you've been trashed, 265 00:16:14.759 --> 00:16:18.279 It takes courageous action if you've been abused to believe 266 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:20.840 in the good. You know, there's a lot of things 267 00:16:20.840 --> 00:16:23.679 that we can do with courage. But I just looked 268 00:16:23.720 --> 00:16:25.960 the meaning up, you know, because I'm into that. We 269 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:28.120 all think we know what it means, but you know, 270 00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:32.679 the ability to do something that frightens one. Here's the other. 271 00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:36.120 Here's the one that I really resonate with strength in 272 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:44.039 the face of pain or grief. M Like, that's that's 273 00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:46.799 the one that really like, we can learn to not 274 00:16:46.919 --> 00:16:48.799 be frightened of something, but can we learn to have 275 00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:56.480 strength use courage as the strength in that? What would 276 00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:59.799 happen if people were more courageous in there? So let's 277 00:16:59.799 --> 00:17:02.799 take that to the need. So how do we all 278 00:17:02.840 --> 00:17:07.200 the people that don't say what they really need how 279 00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:09.000 to like what? 280 00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:15.160 Right? Well, I mean this kind of taps in a 281 00:17:15.160 --> 00:17:18.839 little bit of the story, you know. In twenty eleven, 282 00:17:18.920 --> 00:17:21.880 I asked myself, what do I truly need to be 283 00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:22.640 a happy human? 284 00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:23.599 Love that? 285 00:17:24.720 --> 00:17:31.559 Yeah? And then uh. 286 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:35.599 M, didn't you let didn't you let go of everything? 287 00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:40.880 I mean, isn't that story like quote unquote normal society? Yeah? 288 00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:42.640 Yeah, for sure. I mean I stepped away from a 289 00:17:42.680 --> 00:17:47.839 ten year you know, marriage basically, and you know, moved 290 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:50.640 to friends land, slept in a tent for a year, 291 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:54.000 did work trade you know with him. But I was 292 00:17:54.039 --> 00:17:57.799 really deeply pondering this and also in an aspect around 293 00:17:58.599 --> 00:18:04.079 there's a definition of abundance from the shar Channel by 294 00:18:04.200 --> 00:18:11.599 darryl Anka which ties in and all all. Abundance is 295 00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:16.440 the ability to do what you need to do when 296 00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:19.079 you need to do it, period. 297 00:18:20.279 --> 00:18:21.319 Okay, say that again. 298 00:18:21.519 --> 00:18:27.640 Abundance is the ability to do what you need to 299 00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:32.319 do when you need to do it. Period. 300 00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:35.759 Hm. 301 00:18:36.759 --> 00:18:39.359 So then I asked myself, well, what is a true need? 302 00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:43.279 Because that deeply resonated with me. It was like I 303 00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:48.559 could see all of the nature always like the ability 304 00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:52.279 to do what you need to do. I mean it's like, yeah, 305 00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:55.440 it's like nature, what is it? Who is allowed sue 306 00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:58.839 that said nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished, 307 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:04.359 and so what came through was a true need. Is 308 00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:11.359 that which is required for an abundant life, and that 309 00:19:11.440 --> 00:19:22.680 which is required for your soul's greatest unfoldment, or said, 310 00:19:22.920 --> 00:19:26.119 maybe a little bit simpler is that which is required 311 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:31.319 to understand and to use your full potential. 312 00:19:33.079 --> 00:19:38.279 Right, So, the majority, I would say, of us are 313 00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:42.400 not really doing that. We're like sitting back and going like, 314 00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:47.400 oh well, society says this or this is the easiest path, 315 00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:49.960 this is the path of least resistant. Now, look, I 316 00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:52.599 want to be super clear. I don't think everybody needs 317 00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:55.920 to live extraordinary lives. I do not think that everybody 318 00:19:55.960 --> 00:19:59.160 needs to achieve consciousness. I do not think everybody needs 319 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:01.279 to do fucking shit. If you're like happy sitting on 320 00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:03.799 the fucking couch watching your TV, go the fucking do it, 321 00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:09.200 like literally it because ultimately, you know, you're a sovereign person. 322 00:20:09.319 --> 00:20:11.640 You get to do what you want to do. Be 323 00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:14.079 an idiot, be an idiot, Like you know, there's got 324 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:15.839 to be other people. We can't all be the same. 325 00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:19.480 So like you know, yeah, so you know, have the 326 00:20:19.559 --> 00:20:24.160 courage to be an idiot, to have the courage. Yes, 327 00:20:24.279 --> 00:20:26.119 I should get my ass off the couch and stop 328 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:29.000 eating these chips, but God knows, I don't fucking care. 329 00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:31.720 I want to do this. I'm like, that's conscious. Be 330 00:20:31.720 --> 00:20:34.279 be conscious, Be the courageous to be conscious if you 331 00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:38.640 want to do that. Don't be a victim. There's the courage. 332 00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:42.160 If you want to live the way you want to live, 333 00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:46.960 have the courage to not fucking claim victimhood in it. 334 00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:52.359 Mmmm mm hmm, yep, yep, yep. I could. I could 335 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:58.599 see that, at least for me, that really that that 336 00:20:58.759 --> 00:21:04.319 definition it's it's in a certain way, it's a little 337 00:21:04.359 --> 00:21:08.400 bit of a winnowing stick or a like separate helping 338 00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:11.920 separate the wheat from the chaff for someone who might 339 00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:14.880 wish to do that simply to ask like, okay, well 340 00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:18.440 does this really required for me to have an abundant life? 341 00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:22.240 And part of the deeper dive on that is an 342 00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:24.599 abundant life is going to look different for different people 343 00:21:24.680 --> 00:21:28.599 all around the world. What is success exactly exactly? And 344 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:31.440 then the whole thing about like that which is required 345 00:21:31.480 --> 00:21:35.559 for your soul's greatest you know, unfoldment or your potential 346 00:21:35.880 --> 00:21:39.279 that also could vary widely, it might be actually quite simple. 347 00:21:39.319 --> 00:21:44.000 I mean, if you're you know, let's say a student 348 00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:46.640 in Latino America, and you know you were interested in, 349 00:21:47.559 --> 00:21:51.799 let's say, pursuing a professional football career, you might need 350 00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:54.640 nothing more than you know, a soccer ball and friends 351 00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:56.799 to play with, and you know, some sticks set up 352 00:21:56.839 --> 00:22:00.440 for goalposts as maybe the next piece of a equipment 353 00:22:00.519 --> 00:22:05.480 or something like that. Right, So at least to to 354 00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:08.640 have that be something where it's like a start to 355 00:22:08.759 --> 00:22:11.599 really say, and you know how you can use this? 356 00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:15.119 I think also one of the things a simple way 357 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:19.319 to actually action action this is okay, well, at least 358 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:21.680 you to do an inventory, a mental inventory of your 359 00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:24.279 life to say, okay, well, what am I clear of 360 00:22:24.359 --> 00:22:27.720 everything that I don't really need, that doesn't fit really 361 00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:33.240 doesn't clearly fit in either of those two categories, and 362 00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:35.640 start getting rid of it. Whatever that is, whether it's 363 00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:39.880 excess stuff, whether it's clutter, physical clutter, whether it's you know, 364 00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:43.559 mental or stuff that you're worrying about, or excess let's 365 00:22:43.559 --> 00:22:47.160 say news consumption. Right, all these things that are filling 366 00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:52.559 our life that that is that is preventing us from 367 00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:56.160 actually having space to sit and breathe and to and 368 00:22:56.200 --> 00:22:59.799 to really be with ourselves, to really hear that still 369 00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:03.880 small voice that is that's coming or that wants to come. 370 00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:13.440 Yeah, now, courageous courageous action to clear the clutter absolutely, 371 00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:15.799 because we like to hang on to ship, just saying 372 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:19.359 we don't need to hang on a ship. All right. 373 00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:25.640 So we've talked about life, purpose, vulnerability, the truth, the 374 00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:29.279 truth quoting I'm error quoting everybody here, the truth, and 375 00:23:29.759 --> 00:23:35.039 courage courageous living, radical, radical, courageous living, whatever that is. 376 00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:38.720 And if you so not if you were to, because 377 00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:44.599 you're going to, so would you an overall summary, like 378 00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:48.960 what would you what would a statement that you would 379 00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:53.680 like men to really move into based on the things 380 00:23:53.720 --> 00:23:56.480 you've learned and what you know. Can you have a 381 00:23:56.519 --> 00:24:02.799 paragraph something that like m HM, buyers motivates then to 382 00:24:02.920 --> 00:24:04.640 step into. 383 00:24:05.480 --> 00:24:21.319 Yeah, yeah, okay, be curious about your potential, be curious 384 00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:31.200 about the world, Be committed to to uncovering just what 385 00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:38.319 is possible. And when that is clear, move in the 386 00:24:38.400 --> 00:24:43.720 direction of that thing. As you move in the direction 387 00:24:44.359 --> 00:24:51.200 of that, hold it, hold that vision. Don't hold it like, 388 00:24:51.319 --> 00:24:54.799 don't clench it in your hand, hold it firmly enough. 389 00:24:54.799 --> 00:24:57.839 It's not just going to randomly pop out of your hand, 390 00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:04.640 but don't c so tightly that you can't either adjust 391 00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:09.319 your grip on it or put that thing down and 392 00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:13.160 pick up something else that's of greater value. 393 00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:15.000 Yeah, I love that. 394 00:25:16.920 --> 00:25:17.200 Nice. 395 00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:22.599 We have to quote that somewhere. You can pull it. 396 00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:26.000 You can pull it out of that all right, Everybody 397 00:25:26.039 --> 00:25:28.720 who is listening, and you know, you guys have to 398 00:25:28.759 --> 00:25:30.400 know how funny that is. I say that, and I 399 00:25:30.440 --> 00:25:33.519 hope somebody's laughing, because like, who the fuck if they're 400 00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:37.039 not listening, it doesn't really matter, right, So I don't 401 00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:39.319