Speaker 1: Welcome again the Horrible Cult Nation with a Shadows Secrets
Speaker 1: U and the True Little Weapon showing us on cold
Speaker 1: conspiracy as we dive deep to the underbelly of the
Speaker 1: unknown and challenge the narrative spinning around us. Buckles up
Speaker 1: because we're gearing up for a wild ride through the madness, Madam.
Speaker 2: The unseen world.
Speaker 1: This is not just a podcast, it's all.
Speaker 3: If you, let's lease the chaos.
Speaker 4: Hi, and welcome back to another episode of Deplorable Nation.
Speaker 4: I'm your host, Deplorable Janet, and today I have two amazing,
Speaker 4: fantastic returning guests. This is kind of episode three in
Speaker 4: our little chit chat that we've been having, and I'm
Speaker 4: super excited about today because with the things going on
Speaker 4: in the world right now, I think that a lot
Speaker 4: of people benefit from our conversations and hopefully people can
Speaker 4: share what they've learned here with other people and make
Speaker 4: the arms of the octopus grow longer, if that makes
Speaker 4: any sense. So welcome back mister John Lindhardt from floss
Speaker 4: dot com and mister Edmaybrey from Faith Byreason dot How
Speaker 4: are you gentlemen today?
Speaker 2: Great?
Speaker 3: Thanks for having us back.
Speaker 4: I'm super excited about this I could literally talk to
Speaker 4: both of you every day, all the time and be
Speaker 4: super happy to do all that talking. Yes, yes, you're like, no,
Speaker 4: I don't want to talk that much. Well, I'm a talker,
Speaker 4: so you know it should be it should be no problem.
Speaker 4: But I love these conversations because you never know what
Speaker 4: direction it's going to take, and things come up that
Speaker 4: people have probably never thought of before. So when we
Speaker 4: did our last one about bullying an unconscious confrontation, the
Speaker 4: next step is happiness in the grand scheme of things,
Speaker 4: and so I would like to get into that today
Speaker 4: and hopefully give people and indication of what they can
Speaker 4: do to not only know who they are, know what
Speaker 4: drives their behavior and their mannerisms, but how they can
Speaker 4: change their unconscious reaction to things around to actually make
Speaker 4: happiness for themselves. So that John, we will start with you.
Speaker 2: I'll start so one of the exercises I love to
Speaker 2: do with people, as I say, take out a little
Speaker 2: sheet of paper and write down. Take like twenty seconds
Speaker 2: and write down your answer to the following question, what
Speaker 2: do you think you need to have or do to
Speaker 2: be happy? And then people you know, take a moment,
Speaker 2: they write that down and then I say to them,
Speaker 2: now you can throw that piece of paper away. I
Speaker 2: don't have to see it, as I can tell you.
Speaker 2: I can tell you there's only one of four answers
Speaker 2: that you can have, and so basically they align to
Speaker 2: the four thought processes. So the first answer is what
Speaker 2: basically a narcissist or the dysregulation thought process would say,
Speaker 2: is I need something bad to happen to an enemy,
Speaker 2: or something bad to happen to my competition. I need
Speaker 2: my competition. You know what make me happy? If my
Speaker 2: competition go bankrupt? You know what make me happy? As
Speaker 2: this person falls down a hole and dies.
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna say I may have in my past
Speaker 4: life experience with my previous marriage, I may have had
Speaker 4: that thought a time or two.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, And you know, the thing is is that
Speaker 2: we will have that thought in an area of our life,
Speaker 2: and so it's good to recognize that. And usually that
Speaker 2: thought occurs when you don't feel in control at all.
Speaker 2: And one of the stories I tell is that I
Speaker 2: was coaching an eighth grade football team. Team played great.
Speaker 2: The parents loved how much their kids loved to play
Speaker 2: for me, and the parents really wished I would move
Speaker 2: up to ninth grade because there were two eighth grade
Speaker 2: teams and the ninth grade coach had left, and so
Speaker 2: I went for the ninth grade job, and the coach
Speaker 2: of the other eighth grade team, who was terrible, got
Speaker 2: the job. There's nothing I could do about that, but I,
Speaker 2: you know, I would say, no self esteem. This is
Speaker 2: like a no self esteem position in this area. I
Speaker 2: was no self esteem. I wanted to see bad things happen.
Speaker 2: So as a parent of a senior of varsity player,
Speaker 2: I had to sign up to do stuff. I signed
Speaker 2: up to run the chains at every home ninth grade
Speaker 2: football team, so I got to stand on the field
Speaker 2: with the opposition and watch that team play, and I
Speaker 2: would follow them away and I'd sit there and watch them,
Speaker 2: and this team just fell apart. They're jumping off sides.
Speaker 2: They looked like a third grade team. And then i'd
Speaker 2: walk through the stands or i'd go to the varsity
Speaker 2: game and walk by the parents, and the parents would go,
Speaker 2: my son wishes you were coaching them, And I just
Speaker 2: couldn't get enough of that. I made sure I walked
Speaker 2: throughout all those parents and they all told me, man,
Speaker 2: the team is such a mess. You would have done
Speaker 2: such a better job that my son really wished he
Speaker 2: was playing for you. Yeah, so I'll admit it. I
Speaker 2: have had I have been in this thought process.
Speaker 4: But that made you hearing those things made you happy though, right,
Speaker 4: because of validation that you knew you could do about
Speaker 4: it job right.
Speaker 3: I think what John is going to probably get to
Speaker 3: as far as what happiness does, it's like the chemicals
Speaker 3: release in your brain, and so those can happen. You know,
Speaker 3: you can have those happy chemicals released. But I think
Speaker 3: that if you want to fill out the question completely,
Speaker 3: I think it should be what would what would give
Speaker 3: you sustained happiness? And I think in your case temporarily
Speaker 3: or even with John's case and myself, I've had the
Speaker 3: same thing where wanted bad things happened to people who
Speaker 3: did bad things to be You're happy for a moment,
Speaker 3: but that's not really solving. That's not giving me sustained
Speaker 3: happiness because that's okay, great, that's done, and now you
Speaker 3: now it's going to come from you. What is going
Speaker 3: to make you happy?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: But in a moment you can be disregulated and want
Speaker 3: something bad to happen, but sustained happiness is I think
Speaker 3: what what that person should be writing down when they're
Speaker 3: doing John's test.
Speaker 2: Right, And I'm asking about you know, overall in your life.
Speaker 2: This is one area of my life at one time
Speaker 2: in my life. And I certainly wouldn't have written that
Speaker 2: down as my answer to this question because we're talking
Speaker 2: about your entire life. But I'm just saying it is
Speaker 2: possible because each of these four answers, it represents a
Speaker 2: thought process, an actual neural circuit that you use in
Speaker 2: your brain, because you have four thought processes. So that's
Speaker 2: the question we're really going to find out is what
Speaker 2: thought process are you habituated to for your happiness? Which
Speaker 2: thought process do you go to for happiness? So people
Speaker 2: who are narcissists, they will say this would make me
Speaker 2: happy if because ED and ED gives ways that really
Speaker 2: happiness is your brain releasing pleasure chemicals in response to
Speaker 2: your context. So I'm really asking you what context do
Speaker 2: you want to get your pleasure chemicals from? Right? So,
Speaker 2: and this is not sustainable, like I said too. So
Speaker 2: the second area is basically, you want to have no tension,
Speaker 2: you want to win the lottery, you want to be
Speaker 2: sitting on the beach under a caban drink in my ties.
Speaker 2: So a lot of people call this retirement. And so
Speaker 2: notice a lot of people when they say retirement will
Speaker 2: make me happy, if their definition of retirement is I
Speaker 2: have no tension at all, that's this second thought process.
Speaker 2: It's really an addictive thought process. And so people go
Speaker 2: to that. We would say they're low self esteem, but
Speaker 2: they go to I just want to avoid tension type
Speaker 2: of thing in the Bible that was Solomon. Solomon had
Speaker 2: zero tension and he fell apart. Because what we're going
Speaker 2: to learn about these pleasure chemicals is that if you
Speaker 2: don't experience any tension, then if all you have is
Speaker 2: the release chemicals, you get used to them, and then
Speaker 2: pretty soon you can't be happy, and then you go
Speaker 2: to that first level. People in retirement who have no
Speaker 2: tension turned into the narcissist. And one of the points
Speaker 2: I make about a narcist, if you've ever seen anybody
Speaker 2: yell at somebody, hey, get off my lawn, and then
Speaker 2: they smile, It's like there's that first thought process. Their
Speaker 2: brain is releasing chemicals in response to being mean to people,
Speaker 2: and so you really have nowhere to go. If you
Speaker 2: go for the no tension, you're going to end up there.
Speaker 2: The third answer is to achieve something. It is to
Speaker 2: embrace the tension. The third answer is I want to
Speaker 2: get a degree, I want to win an award, I
Speaker 2: want to get a promotion. I want to you know,
Speaker 2: I'm going to achieve this thing. I'm going to accomplish,
Speaker 2: build this business, do this great thing. So that's what
Speaker 2: we call the human thought process. That's no pain, no gain.
Speaker 2: And so now what you're doing is you're introducing a
Speaker 2: little attention so that when you accomplish it, you get
Speaker 2: this big bump. And that's really what a lot of
Speaker 2: people would say is where everybody wants to be. You
Speaker 2: have a thought on that, D.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I do. Actually want to go back to
Speaker 3: the the one the previous about the the addictive process,
Speaker 3: because honestly, when you first asked the question, the first
Speaker 3: thing that popped in my mind is, oh, yeah, money,
Speaker 3: I have more money. But then I realized after a
Speaker 3: moment that that's not sustainable because and I think that
Speaker 3: will probably probably be the answer that most people would
Speaker 3: many people would have if they're not already riches. If
Speaker 3: I had money, but then what next. Let's say you
Speaker 3: do have the money and you can buy all the
Speaker 3: cars and houses that you want. That's not going to
Speaker 3: that's not going to be self sustaining happiness. And I
Speaker 3: told John the story before that I'm not going to
Speaker 3: give the person's name because he's a never give me
Speaker 3: permission to. But you know the school I went to.
Speaker 3: I went to college in LA and the college I
Speaker 3: went to had, you know, certain celebrities would child actors
Speaker 3: would go there because it was it was a high
Speaker 3: level university. And I saw one who's very popular, and
Speaker 3: I happen to see him sitting on a bench. I
Speaker 3: walked by and I said, hey, you know, I saw you.
Speaker 3: I saw your TV show, big fan of yours, and
Speaker 3: he said great things. He started talking to me. I
Speaker 3: know you just felt open, and he really talked about
Speaker 3: how unhappy he was. Now, this is the person who
Speaker 3: had everything, just like Solomon. He had everything the world
Speaker 3: told him that he should have to be happy. He
Speaker 3: had fame, he had money, he was well known, he
Speaker 3: could have, you know, girls like him because because he
Speaker 3: was an olrich and famous. But he wasn't happy. Because
Speaker 3: he had everything that the world told him he should
Speaker 3: have to be happy, yet he still wasn't and he
Speaker 3: was completely miserable because if you have everything that's supposed
Speaker 3: to make you happy and you still aren't, where do
Speaker 3: you go next?
Speaker 4: You know? And I'm glad that you revisited this because
Speaker 4: it made me think about a conversation that my husband
Speaker 4: and I had recently, because when I first retired, it
Speaker 4: was for health reasons and some other stuff, but I
Speaker 4: was like, what am I going to do when I read?
Speaker 4: Because I'm the type of person can't sit still. I'm
Speaker 4: always up. I have to do something. And we were
Speaker 4: talking about him and he's like, you know, he's like,
Speaker 4: I'm probably gonna work until like I die, because if
Speaker 4: I retire, I don't know what I would do. I
Speaker 4: don't have hobbies. I don't like to talk to people.
Speaker 4: I don't you know, he's not a tinker, he's not
Speaker 4: a handy person. He's like, I don't know what I
Speaker 4: would do at all to fill up my day. And
Speaker 4: he's like, you are literally always busy. You're always working
Speaker 4: on something, making something, creating something, interacting with people. And
Speaker 4: he's like, I don't have any of that or a
Speaker 4: desire to do any of that. And he's like, honestly,
Speaker 4: like work is what makes me happy.
Speaker 3: You know, that's interesting because I want to two points.
Speaker 3: I want to address yours on the second one maybe
Speaker 3: or an example, a biblical example, because John also brought
Speaker 3: up Solomon, and as he said, Solomon had no tension.
Speaker 3: God promised his father, David. You know, the King of
Speaker 3: Israel said, because of you, for you, David, I'm not
Speaker 3: going to ever I'm not going to punish your son.
Speaker 3: And and of course Solomon was rich. He never got
Speaker 3: he basically, Solomon had everything that we say we want.
Speaker 3: He was rich, he was famous, he was respected, he
Speaker 3: was wise, and he was never held accountable for his actions.
Speaker 3: That's what everyone wants. But again, then Solomon wrote his
Speaker 3: last The last thing he wrote was the Book of Ecclesiastes,
Speaker 3: which is honestly the most depressing book in the entire Bible,
Speaker 3: because he in that book he says, I know what
Speaker 3: the answer is. The answer is to put God first.
Speaker 3: But I tried everything to make me happy. None of
Speaker 3: these things outside myself made me happy. I guess you
Speaker 3: not to be happy, you got to turn yourself over
Speaker 3: to God. But it was not said, and it was
Speaker 3: it was said as a point of frustration. So he
Speaker 3: was he was pretty miserable. But the entry same thing
Speaker 3: is that Solomon had what we think heaven should be
Speaker 3: mm hmm. And and it's actually a kind of a
Speaker 3: straw man heaven because it's not real. It's not And
Speaker 3: I we'll talk about this later. I really want to
Speaker 3: talk once we get past well, once you give how
Speaker 3: some definitions of happiness and things like that, I want
Speaker 3: to talk about how that equates to our eternity. But
Speaker 3: the idea of heaven, if you ask people, what is
Speaker 3: heaven like, Oh, we're just going to be sitting on
Speaker 3: a cloud, you know, worshiping God would just be happy
Speaker 3: all the time. But it's very, very vague. It's just
Speaker 3: this time of no tension. That's what they think heaven's
Speaker 3: going to be, because we can't imagine enjoying tension for eternity.
Speaker 2: Which is interesting.
Speaker 3: I think we're going to get to that. But another
Speaker 3: example I think of someone who's at the next thought
Speaker 3: process John was just talking about the the achievement was
Speaker 3: a man Jesus encounter called a rich young ruler, where
Speaker 3: he came to Jesus and he said, you know, I
Speaker 3: want to I want to be more, I want to
Speaker 3: have I want to I want to be your follower,
Speaker 3: and Jesus said, okay, well obey the law, he said,
Speaker 3: he said, I do this. I'm achieving that I've achieved
Speaker 3: the law. She said, okay, great, Well if you, if
Speaker 3: you really want to follow me, give away all of
Speaker 3: your stuff that you've achieved and you'll have treasure in heaven.
Speaker 3: He didn't want. He went away. He couldn't stand that
Speaker 3: because he could not he could not get his mind
Speaker 3: to the point where he could. He felt he could
Speaker 3: be happy giving up his achievements because that's what he
Speaker 3: thought made him happy. I've done all these things, I've
Speaker 3: obeyed the law, I've a mass of riches, and now
Speaker 3: this guy is telling me that I have to give
Speaker 3: all of that up and and and follow him blindly
Speaker 3: and follow what I think John's going to tell you
Speaker 3: the next answer for happiness is And he could not
Speaker 3: find his way to do that because he was all
Speaker 3: about achievement.
Speaker 2: Well, let's let's stay in this because I love what
Speaker 2: you both did here with that second level. So and
Speaker 2: like Janet said, you never know which way this is.
Speaker 4: Gonna go exactly.
Speaker 2: So let's go back to Solomon. Well, let me start
Speaker 2: with this with a lottery when I go into a
Speaker 2: classroom and explain what I'm explaining right now, I'd say,
Speaker 2: when you win the lottery, you have two choices. You
Speaker 2: can either be happy and go broke or not be
Speaker 2: happy and not go broke. And the kids are like
Speaker 2: what And I said.
Speaker 4: Well here, you're like are you crazy?
Speaker 2: Yah? Yeah. But again, the reason why I love talking
Speaker 2: with you, Janet, is you really allow me to talk
Speaker 2: about the brain. All this stuff is in your brain.
Speaker 2: Penis is your brain releasing pleasure chemicals. That's exactly what
Speaker 2: it is. So what happens is is you win the lottery.
Speaker 2: Now you don't have any tension. So the only way
Speaker 2: to be happy is you buy something. So let's say
Speaker 2: you buy something for fifty thousand dollars, you're happy. That's
Speaker 2: where your brain works.
Speaker 4: You bought a boat thinking the boat would be great,
Speaker 4: and then you're like, oh crut, Now I have to
Speaker 4: clean it all the time.
Speaker 2: Well, then you put you got money, you hire people
Speaker 2: to clean it. But what happened is that there is
Speaker 2: that boost. You bought this book. This is great, and
Speaker 2: you're going to feel a boost when you go buy
Speaker 2: something else for fifty thousand. The way your brain works
Speaker 2: is it gets used to stuff. That's how we have
Speaker 2: these drug addictions. You take a drug, get you build
Speaker 2: a tolerance. That works for everything. It works for your friends,
Speaker 2: it works for all of this. So you buy something
Speaker 2: for fifty thousand dollars again, you're gonna enjoy it less
Speaker 2: than the first time you bought a fifty thousand. If
Speaker 2: you play a video game and you win the game,
Speaker 2: you're ecstatic. If you play it again and win it,
Speaker 2: you feel great, but not like the first time you
Speaker 2: want it. So, now what do you have to do?
Speaker 2: You had this high for fifty eight thousand, you did
Speaker 2: fifteen and you didn't get that high. How do you
Speaker 2: get I want this high again? Well you have to
Speaker 2: spend one hundred thousand. So now you buy something for
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand, you'll all right, yeah, there's that high,
Speaker 2: there's I'm happy again. Well, now what do you have
Speaker 2: to do to do that again? Two hundred thousand? And
Speaker 2: that's why it's like, wait, if you stop this, you
Speaker 2: can't get your brain to release any chemicals and you'll
Speaker 2: have money. Or you chase that high and now you
Speaker 2: don't have your money again. But you got to feel
Speaker 2: happy along the way. So that's how your brain actually works.
Speaker 2: So what happened to Solomon? When people talk about signing
Speaker 2: their soul over to the devil, it's really what Solomon did,
Speaker 2: because what that really looks like is is Solomon habituated
Speaker 2: to this second thought process. Like ed said, And if
Speaker 2: you read the story of Solomon, he also had a
Speaker 2: thousand wives. And God said, well, it's said in the
Speaker 2: Bible not to bring horses from Egypt, not to make
Speaker 2: silveris stones, not to marry a bunch of women, because
Speaker 2: they'll take your heart away towards their gods. Solomon was
Speaker 2: supposed to make a copy of the Law as king,
Speaker 2: and he would have seen those commands, and there's a
Speaker 2: verse under Solomon that contradicts the verse and the law.
Speaker 2: He brought horses out of Egypt, he made SILVERI stones,
Speaker 2: and he married all these women, and it took his
Speaker 2: heart away. So it was stayed in the law of
Speaker 2: this would happened. He absolutely did it. So then God
Speaker 2: says to him, you have put up idols to other gods.
Speaker 2: Take them down, and I'm going to give you, you know,
Speaker 2: a nation, an enemy, but he'll never come into your borders.
Speaker 2: So even when God wanted to give him an enemy.
Speaker 2: It never got into Israel, it was in his borders.
Speaker 2: But so Solomon needed to take those things down. Like
Speaker 2: Yad said, he writes Ecclesiastes, and at the end of
Speaker 2: it he says, let me tell you the whole thing.
Speaker 2: The only way to be happy is to do what
Speaker 2: God's says. He knew that, he never did.
Speaker 4: It putting it. But I think for a lot of people,
Speaker 4: like knowing that you should follow God, knowing that you
Speaker 4: should you know, live with the heart of kindness and
Speaker 4: love and all of those things, it's easier said than
Speaker 4: done for most people because people generally speaking, are lazy
Speaker 4: and they will not put that into practice. It'll be
Speaker 4: like in the back of their head going, yeah, I
Speaker 4: know I'm supposed to do these things. I know I'm
Speaker 4: supposed to be a good person. I know I'm supposed
Speaker 4: to serve others, but yeah, I don't want to. And
Speaker 4: then that that chronic question of why do all these
Speaker 4: bad things happen to me repeatedly, over and over and
Speaker 4: over again, And that's your answer the thing.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to get the first half of that though,
Speaker 2: So I know I should do this, but I don't
Speaker 2: do it. We run on energy. That's the thing to
Speaker 2: realize about us. We're not robots. If we're robots, we
Speaker 2: could tell people here's how to eat, here's how to exercise,
Speaker 2: and everybody would change their behavior tomorrow. We run on energy.
Speaker 2: If I, you know, clean the garage, I don't want to,
Speaker 2: that's me not having energy to do it. Solomon had
Speaker 2: wired his brain so much to this second thought process,
Speaker 2: which is this addictive thought process. And this is what
Speaker 2: happens is to addicts that he, like Ed said, he
Speaker 2: did this big proof to try to find another way.
Speaker 2: And he proved to himself logically, which is that third process,
Speaker 2: the achievement one. He proved himself logically, this is how
Speaker 2: to be happy. But he couldn't bring himself to do
Speaker 2: it because he had he had wired his brain to
Speaker 2: the point that he had no longer he had valued
Speaker 2: stuff so much he could no longer get the energy
Speaker 2: to do the right thing. Hundreds of years later, Josiah
Speaker 2: took down all of those high places that Solomon put up,
Speaker 2: so they stayed up for hundreds of yours. Solomon never
Speaker 2: took them down. Solomon opposed God, and so that ends right.
Speaker 2: Ecclesias is a really sad book, because Solomon had everything
Speaker 2: we think would make you happy, which is in this
Speaker 2: third achievement thought process, and then he realized, Really, Ecclesiastes
Speaker 2: is saying, I was in Joe, I was happy building
Speaker 2: God's house and building my house. But while I was
Speaker 2: building him, I thought I'd be happy living in my
Speaker 2: house and having my house. And now that I have
Speaker 2: my house, I realize building it was more enjoyable than
Speaker 2: having it. And so now what do I do? And
Speaker 2: he had wired his brain to the point that he's
Speaker 2: essentially given up the soul. He just could not make
Speaker 2: the choice to do the right thing. So that's really
Speaker 2: what's going on with Solomon and everything when Ed talked
Speaker 2: about that third level of achievement and then the rich man,
Speaker 2: so he goes, I've done all these things, and Jesus said, okay,
Speaker 2: if you want to be perfect, which really in the
Speaker 2: Bible means maximum profitability. If you want the most profitability,
Speaker 2: sell all that you have give to the poor. And
Speaker 2: I have asked people all over it, pastors, everybody. I
Speaker 2: actually saw someone preach this on television and they put
Speaker 2: the verses and I say, complete descent, Sell you have
Speaker 2: given the poor and then everybody else then follow me.
Speaker 2: And I saw a guy preach it, and on the verses,
Speaker 2: that's what the verse was. But if you look at
Speaker 2: the verse, that's not the verse. Jesus said what Ed said,
Speaker 2: Cel you have give the poor, then you'll have treasure
Speaker 2: in heaven, then follow me. So Jesus is offering exchange
Speaker 2: spiritual value for physical value. And this guy was so
Speaker 2: committed to the physical he couldn't see the spiritual, he
Speaker 2: couldn't value it, and so he couldn't make the jump.
Speaker 2: But it's amazing people when they quote that first, they'll
Speaker 2: leave out the part that Ed put in is they
Speaker 2: don't even know that that's an option. So so everything
Speaker 2: we've we've covered so far is looking for happiness outside
Speaker 2: of yourself. Something bad happen to this person, no tension,
Speaker 2: tension by achieving this stuff. The ultimate answer is I
Speaker 2: want to want to I want to respond to every
Speaker 2: situation by being more of myself, bring in more of
Speaker 2: myself out. Now that can sound like the second step
Speaker 2: or the third one, you know, so when I talk
Speaker 2: to people, it's like why, Like I get the feeling
Speaker 2: from you. Janet, You're not putting this podcast on to
Speaker 2: try to win a bunch of awards and make a
Speaker 2: million dollars. I get the question, you do this because
Speaker 2: it gives you a chance to.
Speaker 4: Be more you Yep, absolutely.
Speaker 2: So they can look the same, but it's like, why
Speaker 2: is this person doing this thing? And really the reason
Speaker 2: why determines whether they're about achievement or whether they're about
Speaker 2: an internal thing about bringing more of themselves out that
Speaker 2: is sustainable. That's the ultimate way, Undas.
Speaker 4: And I love that you said that, because, especially in
Speaker 4: the podcast world, you'll run into people that are very
Speaker 4: one way on the show and very different in real life.
Speaker 4: And I'm of the firm belief that if you're not
Speaker 4: your authentic self at all times and you don't share
Speaker 4: your testimony with people, if you hide any part of
Speaker 4: your testimony, you are not being your authentic self. And
Speaker 4: I say this all the time. Somebody did a documentary
Speaker 4: on my life and they're like, oh, my goodness, I
Speaker 4: cannot believe the things that you shared. And I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm in a position where God wants me to share
Speaker 4: that because God, all through the Bible used people that
Speaker 4: you know, were centers, that were prostitutes, that were all
Speaker 4: of these things to achieve, you know, to overcome and
Speaker 4: come out the other side a better person. And sanctification
Speaker 4: process is so important, and I can't be who I
Speaker 4: truly am, who God made me to be if I
Speaker 4: if I bury any of that.
Speaker 3: You know, what's interesting is going back to that person
Speaker 3: I talked to the child actor. What was he? He
Speaker 3: was an actor, he spent he spent his life doing
Speaker 3: the opposite right absolutely other people, and the character he played,
Speaker 3: I can tell you, was nothing like the actual person.
Speaker 3: So he was not being more of himself, he was
Speaker 3: being less witch I think added to the misery. He
Speaker 3: achieved a lot maybe if he had, if he had it,
Speaker 3: I don't know what his uniqueness was. Necessarily we didn't
Speaker 3: talk long enough for me to engage that. But if
Speaker 3: he had, if he had been doing the same being,
Speaker 3: achieving the same things by being himself, he would have
Speaker 3: been happy. But he spent that time being with another
Speaker 3: character that someone wrote, which was not him, or.
Speaker 4: Being a person, or being a shell. I should say,
Speaker 4: of what society expects of you and thinks you should be.
Speaker 4: And perfect case and point is all the social media influencers, right,
Speaker 4: because that's a huge business now, big world for that
Speaker 4: and it's like they are the most lost depressed people
Speaker 4: I have honestly ever spoken to. And you would think,
Speaker 4: you know, being on the outside and judging like we
Speaker 4: do other people. They've got the looks, they've got the money,
Speaker 4: they get a jet set all over the world, they
Speaker 4: get all of these you know, items and stuff, but
Speaker 4: they are so sad because people don't see them for
Speaker 4: who they truly, genuinely are. All they see is that
Speaker 4: right shiny shell, you know, and not not what's underneath that.
Speaker 4: And I think that's a huge thing in our society
Speaker 4: these days.
Speaker 2: I say the same thing to people all the time.
Speaker 2: I say, the thing we looked up to these influencers,
Speaker 2: And the thing to realize is they're low self esteem,
Speaker 2: chasing a bunch of likes, and they're really not happy
Speaker 2: because they they're in that second thought process. They just
Speaker 2: want everything to be nice and easy. And notice the
Speaker 2: third one and the fourth one involved tension. The way
Speaker 2: to be happy is is the more tension you experience.
Speaker 2: Happiness is the difference from the tension you have to
Speaker 2: the relief you get. So if you have no tension,
Speaker 2: there's a limit how much relief you can feel. But
Speaker 2: if you drive the tension up and then have this
Speaker 2: relief moment. You watch a movie, it's ninety minutes of
Speaker 2: tension and everything's bad, and then the last ten minutes
Speaker 2: it all works right. It's that difference. So the key
Speaker 2: to happiness is really and the key to having this
Speaker 2: big moment is how much tension can you safely handle?
Speaker 2: Those first two levels The first person's causing tension other people.
Speaker 2: The second levels is trying to avoid tension. The third
Speaker 2: is like in charge of the tension. But the problem
Speaker 2: with the achievement path is the same as that second path,
Speaker 2: which is you climb this mountain, well, you're not gonna
Speaker 2: be happy. Letch you climb a bigger mountain, and then
Speaker 2: you're not happy to you climb a bigger mountain, and
Speaker 2: eventually you're gonna run on the mountains to climb or
Speaker 2: something's gonna be too hard, and then you'll drop back
Speaker 2: to that second one, that addictive one. So really, if
Speaker 2: you don't learn how to jump to this fourth thought process,
Speaker 2: that third one. I always look at these quotes from
Speaker 2: all these people who were like that third, like Lance Armstrong.
Speaker 2: You see when I go into the classroom, you see
Speaker 2: these quotes from Lance Armstrong or some of these other
Speaker 2: very famous people like do all these great things, try
Speaker 2: strive all the stuff you read their autobiography. It never
Speaker 2: ended well for those people.
Speaker 4: Right, And you know what, what is the point of
Speaker 4: the cross and for God, you know, dying for our sins?
Speaker 4: If we think that that our achievements are what's going
Speaker 4: to get us to the Kingdom of heaven, that's yeah,
Speaker 4: go on, what's the what's the point that that totally
Speaker 4: does away with with the sanctification process and for us
Speaker 4: waking up to who we are as individuals.
Speaker 3: And that's honestly the main problem with religion. And John
Speaker 3: helped me with us early on when you know, in
Speaker 3: the first few years that we were knowing each other.
Speaker 3: The difference between Christianity, the faith of Christianity, and religion
Speaker 3: and religion is man made religion, the definition for are
Speaker 3: the things that man puts on top of divine revelation
Speaker 3: in order to be more like God on their own.
Speaker 3: It's actually pride when you get down to it, because
Speaker 3: you're because if religion worked, if you could do stuff
Speaker 3: to get you to heaven, then when you got there,
Speaker 3: you say, hey, God, look what we did. Know the
Speaker 3: point of the Bible is very clear that Jesus finished
Speaker 3: the work on the cross. You know, tell Usty it
Speaker 3: is finished in Greek, it was done. It's not okay,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do my part. Then you do your part
Speaker 3: because if that's the case, and you can share in
Speaker 3: the glory. And no, that's not the point. The glory
Speaker 3: is with God alone, because God, through through his son Jesus,
Speaker 3: God performs salvation. Our job is just accepted or not
Speaker 3: so when it's so. But what religion does. It gives
Speaker 3: us into a thought process where we feel like we
Speaker 3: are achieving something and that will make us happy if
Speaker 3: you do. I mean, I'm not gonna at the risk
Speaker 3: of offending any Catholic listeners you may have, but that
Speaker 3: that is a huge crux of the catechism about all
Speaker 3: the things that you have to do on the official
Speaker 3: doctrine is that the cross began your process of salvation.
Speaker 3: The rest of it is up to you. You have
Speaker 3: to take the Eucharis, You've got to do about several prayers,
Speaker 3: you have to confess to a priest, you have to
Speaker 3: give indulgences, you have to do all these other things,
Speaker 3: and at the end of your life you probably want
Speaker 3: achieve it, so you got to go to purgatory and
Speaker 3: pay for it there for a little while. Then you're
Speaker 3: letting into heaven. That's all about. So the majority of
Speaker 3: that is stuff that you do. Why is that appealing?
Speaker 3: It's appealing because it speaks to our pride, to our
Speaker 3: ad thought process, our achievement thought process, and thinking, look
Speaker 3: at what I'm doing to get there. But the problem is,
Speaker 3: you can never on your own achieve that. There is
Speaker 3: no There is no mountain you can climb high enough
Speaker 3: to but you keep trying, but you're going to be miserable.
Speaker 3: But your unconscious knows that you can't ever be perfect,
Speaker 3: just knows that no matter how how much stuff you
Speaker 3: do in the name of God. So your unconscious is
Speaker 3: always there telling you this isn't gonna work, This isn't
Speaker 3: gonna work. And then and then you go. I've known
Speaker 3: with Catholics that go one of three ways. They either
Speaker 3: realize that this is not what God wants. I still
Speaker 3: believe in God, but I don't believe in doing this stuff.
Speaker 3: My wife's an example of that. She was raised Catholics
Speaker 3: as well. Yeap, and thankfully they took they made the
Speaker 3: right choice and they said, no, God is real, but
Speaker 3: this stuff isn't real, or they double down. Have a
Speaker 3: friend of mine who's very devout Catholic, and we've had
Speaker 3: discussions about this, and he says, hey, I know that
Speaker 3: it doesn't make logical sense, but it's what I've been
Speaker 3: told by my priest. So I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: do it harder. I just you know, when I start
Speaker 3: to doubt what I'm doing, I feel guilty, and I'm
Speaker 3: going to address that guilt by going even harder.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna double down.
Speaker 3: Or the third way is I'm gonna throw off the
Speaker 3: baby with the bathwater. You know, Catholicism is not is
Speaker 3: not the way to go, So God isn't the way
Speaker 3: to go. I'm going to become an atheist. There's a
Speaker 3: saying that the Catholics make the best atheists because they're
Speaker 3: the ones who have tried and they realize this does
Speaker 3: not make sense. So I'm going to just throw off
Speaker 3: the baby with the bathwater.
Speaker 4: And I love that you brought this up because this
Speaker 4: is the conversation I have with people all the time
Speaker 4: about religion, you know, and certain denominations you have to
Speaker 4: dress a certain way, there's a dress code. There's all
Speaker 4: this stuff. Now, where in the Bible did God ever say,
Speaker 4: you know that you can't come and worship him or
Speaker 4: hear his message if you aren't dressed in the absolute
Speaker 4: most expensive, finest thing you could possibly buy.
Speaker 3: Becker says, the opposite. The lilies of the field were
Speaker 3: not Solomon and all his splendor. Bring up Solomon again.
Speaker 3: I think Solomon is like our test case of what
Speaker 3: not to do. He's more hot right here, your here's
Speaker 3: your example of what not to do it because Solomon
Speaker 3: always got the back of the hand. He says, look
Speaker 3: at the lilies of the lilies of the field. Even
Speaker 3: Solomon and all of his splendor was not you know,
Speaker 3: it was not dressed as splendidly as these. So so
Speaker 3: Solomon was not even as in God's eyes, he didn't
Speaker 3: even compare to a weed with it because his own achievement.
Speaker 3: That pride that God, you know that that God does
Speaker 3: not want us to have. Because again, pride is contrastive thinking,
Speaker 3: which is the opposite of humility, which is what God
Speaker 3: wants from me. Because that's the only way you can
Speaker 3: interact with God is if you are humble enough to
Speaker 3: say that I don't know everything. I don't have all
Speaker 3: the answers. On the other hand, if you're a comparative thinker,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, yeah, if you're If you're a comparative thinker,
Speaker 3: contrastive means I don't know everything you know, I could
Speaker 3: be wrong. Comparative thinking or pride is saying I have
Speaker 3: all the answers. Well, if you have all the answers,
Speaker 3: then I can't interact with you because that's nothing I
Speaker 3: can teach you grow right, you can't.
Speaker 4: And boyle boy do we just not have the answers.
Speaker 4: And that's where people have the pitfalls and the downfalls
Speaker 4: in their life. Like I said, the repetitive nature of
Speaker 4: all the bad things happening to you one after another,
Speaker 4: because and this is the beauty of God. He weeds
Speaker 4: your garden of things that you don't need, right, Okay,
Speaker 4: So loss of relationships, loss of money, loss of a job,
Speaker 4: loss of home, whatever, it's because you are so focused
Speaker 4: on worldly materialistic even worship or praising your children, you know,
Speaker 4: putting them above your love for God is a problem.
Speaker 4: And he can take your children away and all different
Speaker 4: kinds of aspects. But it's like all of these things
Speaker 4: that are preventing you from growing and from knowing your
Speaker 4: true authentic self that God made you to be. He
Speaker 4: has to get rid of things in your life for
Speaker 4: you to be able to move forward.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's my short you know. My short rule
Speaker 2: is to assess someone's mental emotional health is if they're
Speaker 2: valuing tangible things and the quantitative more stuff, right, they're
Speaker 2: off course. If they're if they're valuing the intangible, which
Speaker 2: is spiritual, and qualitative, which is the interaction, then they're
Speaker 2: on the right course. But I want to jump back
Speaker 2: to something you said, Jennet, because I think I think
Speaker 2: this is interesting because you talked about sharing and being
Speaker 2: authentic and these people going, why would you do that?
Speaker 2: I think I think what they may be saying because
Speaker 2: Jesus talked to all these people who had crashed, the prostitutes,
Speaker 2: the ill they had crashed, they had everything had gone bad,
Speaker 2: and they couldn't go anywhere but up. And I think
Speaker 2: when people say to you, why would you share all that?
Speaker 2: It's not like you crashed, Like, why would you share
Speaker 2: that if you don't have to? And I think that's
Speaker 2: one of the issues is that is that I don't
Speaker 2: consider it evangelism to talk to a bunch of people
Speaker 2: who are crashed and introduced in the gospel. Now, it's
Speaker 2: great to do that and they need it, But to me,
Speaker 2: evangelism would really be helping people realize that before they crash.
Speaker 4: Right, one hundred percent. And that's the whole purpose of
Speaker 4: like me doing my show right, because everybody knows from
Speaker 4: listening to the first one. I'm all about service to others.
Speaker 4: And my way of living the life that God wants
Speaker 4: me to live is that I'm the person for other people,
Speaker 4: you know, and if I can plant a seed for them, great.
Speaker 4: I have been through all of these things and I
Speaker 4: came out the other side. I'm still here, I'm still alive,
Speaker 4: I'm still functioning, and I want to share that with
Speaker 4: people so that they know they're not alone. There is
Speaker 4: somebody else that has been through the same stuff or
Speaker 4: has felt the same feelings or whatever. And how do
Speaker 4: you go about changing your life from where you were?
Speaker 4: You know, and the mindset, the unconscious way that you
Speaker 4: react to things, how do you get out of that
Speaker 4: and change that? And like, it's a world of difference
Speaker 4: between who I was then and who I am now.
Speaker 2: Right, So this is Really, what this test is doing
Speaker 2: is the thought process you've habituated to is what makes
Speaker 2: you happy. So when I talk to parents about like
Speaker 2: their teenage son, I'll say, your son is habituated to
Speaker 2: the second thought process. He doesn't want any tension. You
Speaker 2: can it's called adaptation in the moment. In the moment,
Speaker 2: you can bring him up to this achievement confrontational. And
Speaker 2: I said, you know, if he's playing a video game,
Speaker 2: you go come over and you talk to you. You
Speaker 2: pull them out of where he's happy at the second
Speaker 2: thought process. You bring him to the third and you
Speaker 2: ask a bunch of questions and then he goes, is
Speaker 2: that it? Are we done? Is that it anything else?
Speaker 2: Are we done? Great? And then now he's playing his
Speaker 2: video game. So that's the thing is when I look
Speaker 2: at people, the first thing I'm trying to do is
Speaker 2: figure out what level of thought processes have habituated to.
Speaker 2: Because what you just said is what I'm trying to
Speaker 2: do is I can't take him to the top one.
Speaker 2: I can only take them up one. So if they're
Speaker 2: in this addictive thought process, I want to bring them
Speaker 2: up to the achievement thought process, and then I want
Speaker 2: to bring them up to this long term healthy happiness
Speaker 2: thought process. And so when they understand where they're at
Speaker 2: and how their brain works, that's half the battle. Then
Speaker 2: you can help them do the next one. But I
Speaker 2: think we've now led into another definition, actually two more definitions.
Speaker 2: So happiness, like I said, is really pleasure chemicals that
Speaker 2: your brain releases in response to your context. You find
Speaker 2: twenty dollars in the parking lot, your brain kicks out chemicals.
Speaker 2: After you're out of that context, they're gone. Joy is
Speaker 2: your brain kicking out those plement pleasure chemicals regardless of
Speaker 2: the context, meaning it's always doing that. So when people
Speaker 2: say to me, I'm not a genuinely happy or a
Speaker 2: generally happy person, what I'm saying thinking is they don't
Speaker 2: have joy. Everybody gets Everybody can say they're happy because
Speaker 2: they're happy according to one of those fourthought processes, and
Speaker 2: this is how they have wired their brain to get
Speaker 2: the pleasure chemicals. So everybody's happy. But the people who
Speaker 2: have joy, their brain's kicking it out regardless of what happens.
Speaker 2: And the key to joy is love. This is bring up,
Speaker 2: bringing up, because you already said it. The definition of
Speaker 2: love is giving to somebody without expecting anything in return
Speaker 2: from that person that he gave to. So you say,
Speaker 2: i'm work service. You're giving to people and you're not
Speaker 2: looking to get anything back. And when you do that,
Speaker 2: your unconscious kicks out chemicals all the time. So that's
Speaker 2: one of the keys. One of the keys to experiencing
Speaker 2: joy is whether you love so us men love affirmations.
Speaker 2: And I think I've shared this on this show before,
Speaker 2: but it's so easy to get a man to do
Speaker 2: what you want a grown man. And I do this.
Speaker 2: Pay attention because I've done this so many times. Whatever
Speaker 2: you want this guy to do, find somebody who's doing it.
Speaker 2: Don't look at that guy and affirm that person in
Speaker 2: front of them for doing it. I guarantee this will work.
Speaker 2: But you can't look at and you can't make them conscious.
Speaker 2: It's called an unconscious confrontation. So you sit there and go, wow,
Speaker 2: I think it's so great that you did less than
Speaker 2: five and got through that, and you're just really amazing
Speaker 2: for having that amount of diligence. I can't get this
Speaker 2: guy to do less than five. All of a sudden,
Speaker 2: guess what he shows up next week? He got blessed five,
Speaker 2: done it took you three months and now all of
Speaker 2: a sudden you did it because you saw an affirmation.
Speaker 2: So one of the questions I love to ask guys,
Speaker 2: and you can ask this of guys and it it
Speaker 2: puts a little hitch in their gideop because they they
Speaker 2: can't answer the question. So I say, imagine you're in
Speaker 2: a coffee shop. Now this is to a guy. This
Speaker 2: isn't to you, Jennet, So you got to You gotta
Speaker 2: have like a fifth of the brain you have in
Speaker 2: order to understand it. So imagine you're in a coffee
Speaker 2: shop and a guy walks in the front door, and
Speaker 2: he every guy in that coffee shop he starts affirming him. Hey,
Speaker 2: that was an amazing basketball game. You played that so great. Hey,
Speaker 2: I saw your podcast. That was an amazing point you
Speaker 2: made about that artist. Hey, And he's affirming every guy
Speaker 2: as he walks to you, question, do you want this
Speaker 2: guy to affirm you? Or do you want to be
Speaker 2: that guy? They can't answer that question because they want
Speaker 2: that guy to affirm them. But their unconscious knows that
Speaker 2: guy's a man. Everybody else here's a boy right now,
Speaker 2: and that's a man, And unconscious goes really you're gonna
Speaker 2: say you want the affirmation. You don't want to be
Speaker 2: the man. You don't want to be the guy with
Speaker 2: the pocket full of affirmations. You want to get one
Speaker 2: of the affirmations out of that guy's pocket. And I've
Speaker 2: done that in groups of the room, groups of men.
Speaker 2: You don't get an answer, and you see these guys
Speaker 2: look at each other. Come, I can't answer this question
Speaker 2: because you should want to be the guy given out affirmations,
Speaker 2: because that guy is happier than the person getting If
Speaker 2: you get an affirmation, you will be happy for as
Speaker 2: long as your short term memory works, so forty eight
Speaker 2: to seventy two hours. And so what a lot of
Speaker 2: guys do to women is they go, you know, Janet,
Speaker 2: I really feel happy when you affirm me. I think
Speaker 2: I could be happy if you would spend all your
Speaker 2: time affirming me. What do you think there are guys
Speaker 2: out there like that?
Speaker 4: Okay, that would not surprise me, because I have worked
Speaker 4: with a lot of people that I would say probably
Speaker 4: would fall into that category. And I like to call
Speaker 4: it creative butt kissing. Right. They want you to come
Speaker 4: up with new and exciting things to say to them,
Speaker 4: to affirm them. Whether they deserve it or not.
Speaker 2: But it does really those pleasure chemicals. But it's like
Speaker 2: I said, it's not sustainable affirming somebody else is sustainable
Speaker 2: that last beyond the seventy two hours. So that's the key,
Speaker 2: is that is the guy affirming everybody. So when I
Speaker 2: say to these guys, do you want to be happy?
Speaker 2: Why don't you be that guy? What's stopping you from
Speaker 2: being the guy affirming everybody. So when my son was
Speaker 2: like thirteen fourteen, he had moved away in middle school
Speaker 2: during the last year of middle school, and they actually
Speaker 2: his friends invited to come back for the prom, you know,
Speaker 2: for their dance, graduation dance, because he had grown up
Speaker 2: with all these kids and a buddy of mine, this
Speaker 2: guy Jonathan, I do a lot of his training with.
Speaker 2: He told my son, he goes, listen, you should be
Speaker 2: go there and be an affirmation sniper. He goes, trust
Speaker 2: me on this, because the fourteen year old boy doesn't
Speaker 2: want to do this. But he said, when you walk in,
Speaker 2: don't look for everybody to affirm you. You find a reason.
Speaker 2: You don't just go you're great, You're great, you got
Speaker 2: it's affirm him for a reason, right, Affirm everybody trust
Speaker 2: me on this because because my son told him, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I can't wait to go back and tell me they
Speaker 2: missed me and this and that. And he's like, don't
Speaker 2: be that guy. Be this guy. He walked into the
Speaker 2: gym and the DJ was over at one end. He
Speaker 2: walked into the gym and just started affirming. Everybody walked
Speaker 2: past the DJ to the corner, got done affirming. People
Speaker 2: turned around. There were all these guys following, were following
Speaker 2: for more affirmations. So he's an administrator. Now you had
Speaker 2: a group. He got them going, He got the DJ
Speaker 2: to play what do you wanted? And he took over
Speaker 2: the whole party. He came back Johnson, he goes you,
Speaker 2: whatever you say, I'm just gonna do it from now on.
Speaker 2: You have the best advice. But it's like that is
Speaker 2: really how you're happy affirming others. You really short term
Speaker 2: happy getting affirmed, and then it will leads you down
Speaker 2: this track of going well, then I expect everybody to
Speaker 2: affirm me all the time. How can I be happy
Speaker 2: if you guys aren't going to affirm me. That's that's
Speaker 2: not sustainable, right.
Speaker 4: And and I love that whole premise because that is
Speaker 4: how I get into like random conversations in the grocery
Speaker 4: store or something. I will stop somebody and just say something,
Speaker 4: you know, to them that's very you know, polite or whatever,
Speaker 4: and they will literally stop what they're doing and tell
Speaker 4: me like their deepest dark secrets, their whole life story,
Speaker 4: you know, like whatever. My husband chuckles at me, He's like,
Speaker 4: uh yeah, he's like this is going to take a while.
Speaker 4: I'm going to go sit in the car because he knows,
Speaker 4: he knows how I am. But I think for a
Speaker 4: lot of people, giving someone else an affirmation is really
Speaker 4: hard for them to do. It's like almost impossible for
Speaker 4: some people because they're afraid of being judged. They're afraid
Speaker 4: that what they say to somebody else, that person is
Speaker 4: going to receive it wrong. They're going to take it wrong,
Speaker 4: they're going to get angry, they're gonna, you know whatever.
Speaker 4: And that's such a huge, like vicious cycle. Like you
Speaker 4: can't be nice and say a nicety to somebody because
Speaker 4: you're letting fear take control of your mind and the
Speaker 4: chemicals that you're going to release in your brain by
Speaker 4: doing so, so you're suppressing those because of your your
Speaker 4: worry or fear that someone's going to judge.
Speaker 3: It takes it takes good, a good amount of self
Speaker 3: esteem to be the affirmer that John has, that John
Speaker 3: is talking about, And that's one of the reasons why
Speaker 3: I wouldn't Again, I'm not going to tooot my own home.
Speaker 3: But when John said, which one do you want to be?
Speaker 2: The first thing? Else?
Speaker 3: I want to be that guy who's affirming, because that
Speaker 3: guy has high self esteem and I want to be
Speaker 3: that right so much so well of himself. He's when
Speaker 3: I was when I saw when I would picture that
Speaker 3: guy doing it. I'm like, that's a guy who who
Speaker 3: has no self doubt because he is not thinking about himself.
Speaker 3: He can he can give his value to others. And
Speaker 3: it takes a lot of high self esteem. And in
Speaker 3: all of us we have high we're in the areas
Speaker 3: where we have high self esteem, in their areas.
Speaker 2: Where we don't.
Speaker 3: I give him example, just what you were just talking
Speaker 3: about in the grocery store. I was at the grocery
Speaker 3: store last week and shopping for whatever, getting some pasta
Speaker 3: from my kids, and I saw a lady there. She
Speaker 3: was attractive lady, but she was dressed really really well.
Speaker 3: I mean beyond what you would expect for someone who's
Speaker 3: in who's in a grocery store. So maybe she dresses
Speaker 3: like that because she likes her. Maybe she just came
Speaker 3: from a you know, from something, or from a party
Speaker 3: or something. And my first thought was to go up
Speaker 3: with her and say, wow, you look really nice today.
Speaker 3: But I didn't because I'm like, well, maybe she's gonna
Speaker 3: think I'm a creep or that I'm hitting on her
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 2: Well I'm just let you look.
Speaker 3: She looked really nice. She had a really lovely dress
Speaker 3: on andy. But I think my self esteem there was
Speaker 3: like I was thinking more about, like you said, I
Speaker 3: might be judged on it. She might think that I'm
Speaker 3: some kind of creep. Instead of just giving her she
Speaker 3: probably would have appreciated. I have yet to meet a
Speaker 3: woman who does not like to be complimented on how
Speaker 3: she looks.
Speaker 4: True, And you know, men need that as well. Like
Speaker 4: John said, you know, affirming your partner is so important
Speaker 4: and people don't do it. And so like even the
Speaker 4: smallest thing, you know, not just about like how brilliant
Speaker 4: they are, how fantastic they are what they do or whatever,
Speaker 4: but you know, you're that color shirt really brings out
Speaker 4: your eyes something kind, you know, and loving, no matter
Speaker 4: how small it is. Like there, I'm one of those people.
Speaker 4: I used to be so shy and I got bullied
Speaker 4: all the time and picked on and whatever, and I
Speaker 4: had zero self esteem. And now it's nothing for me
Speaker 4: to be out in public and be like talking to
Speaker 4: somebody and be like, I just want to give you
Speaker 4: a hug. Is it okay if I hug you? And
Speaker 4: and people are like, well yeah, And people need that.
Speaker 4: Not only do they need your words of affirmation, but
Speaker 4: they need your like that physical connection and that physical touch.
Speaker 4: It's so important for people to grow.
Speaker 3: I can tell you down if you have a way
Speaker 3: more self esteem in that area than I do. Just
Speaker 3: as a tip to wrap it up for anyone who's
Speaker 3: listening who might have had the same experience as a guy.
Speaker 3: When you say that to a woman, here's a she would,
Speaker 3: Here's how you do it. Here's what I should have done.
Speaker 3: And I didn't because I was I was not in
Speaker 3: I was not in a in a I think I
Speaker 3: was in a one sixty thought process at the times
Speaker 3: I wasn't thinking. But you do set the compliment and
Speaker 3: walk away that way, there's that way she knows. Oh,
Speaker 3: he wasn't trying to get something from right, He just said,
Speaker 3: you know, but that's a really beautiful dress. Turn away,
Speaker 3: keep walking if she if she says thank you, you
Speaker 3: can turn back and smile. I have no problem. But
Speaker 3: when you do that, you've taken away any type of
Speaker 3: pitt an agenda. So that all he was doing was
Speaker 3: being kind and he wanted nothing else from me. And
Speaker 3: so now she feels truly affirmed without any other possible
Speaker 3: baggage that might have happened, because you know, some guys
Speaker 3: can be creeps and and she was an attractive lady.
Speaker 3: I'm sure she's had other guys who were creepy, but
Speaker 3: this would have made her feel good. And knowing that
Speaker 3: it wasn't any type of there wasn't anything else to
Speaker 3: it other than that.
Speaker 2: So right, so let me let me just go through
Speaker 2: the levels of self esteem, because you guys touched on it,
Speaker 2: and I want to make a point that supports what
Speaker 2: you're saying. So self esteem is confidence in your uniqueness.
Speaker 2: So no self esteem is you have no idea who
Speaker 2: you are. So what you do is you're putting other
Speaker 2: You get pleasure out of putting other people down. Low
Speaker 2: self esteem is just trying to get confidence. So this
Speaker 2: is people, I just want likes. So when somebody you
Speaker 2: don't even know affirms you, you feel great. So that's
Speaker 2: what these likes are. That's what these social media people
Speaker 2: are doing. A bunch of people are affirming me. They
Speaker 2: have no idea who I am. And I don't know
Speaker 2: if you ever saw the movie soap dish at Sally
Speaker 2: Field in it years ago, but she was this actress
Speaker 2: and the soap opera and she was low self esteem,
Speaker 2: and her aide said, whenever she's feeling low, she'd take
Speaker 2: her out on the street downtown New York. She'd take
Speaker 2: off her head scarf, take off her glasses and go,
Speaker 2: oh is that so and so? And a mob would
Speaker 2: come and Sally Field sign autographs her character for an
Speaker 2: hour and she feel good about herself. Well, now I
Speaker 2: feel good about myself that all these people I don't
Speaker 2: even know thought well of me. Mid Self esteem is
Speaker 2: when somebody you look up to. You feel good when
Speaker 2: someone you look up to affirms you. So this is
Speaker 2: what parents are trying to do. They're trying to get
Speaker 2: their kids to mid self esteem, don't you you know,
Speaker 2: low self esteem is their peers if you jumped off
Speaker 2: the bridge, would you jump off a bridge? These kids
Speaker 2: are knuckleheads and you want their affirmation. What are you
Speaker 2: doing versus why don't you care what your teacher, your coach,
Speaker 2: your pastor your parents think of you? So that's mid
Speaker 2: self esteem. We raise kids to go. You should feel
Speaker 2: good when somebody affirms you. But there's a finish line there.
Speaker 2: If a great basketball player tells me I'm a good
Speaker 2: basketball player, I don't need to get good ever again.
Speaker 2: You know, if I were to sit here and say, hey,
Speaker 2: you know Lebron James told me I was a great
Speaker 2: basketball player, I'm done. I'll live off that forever.
Speaker 4: But can I say real quick on this, This is
Speaker 4: a huge issue in relationships. Oh yeah, all the way
Speaker 4: across the board, because if your spouse or significant other
Speaker 4: affirms you like, it does nothing for your self esteem.
Speaker 4: You're looking for outside validation from other people instead of
Speaker 4: focusing on your relationship with your spouse.
Speaker 2: It tells you what you think of your spouse, m h.
Speaker 2: And it you know, it tells you Yeah, So that's
Speaker 2: very little your low selfish yeah, your low self esteem,
Speaker 2: my self esteem, and I usually have to say this twice.
Speaker 2: High self esteem is that when somebody affirms you, you
Speaker 2: don't feel better about yourself, but you feel better about
Speaker 2: the person who affirmed you. It sounds backwards, but you
Speaker 2: guys have already been saying this, and so so someone
Speaker 2: affirms me, and all of us have an area. Like
Speaker 2: Ed said, we have an area. Whereas when someone affirms
Speaker 2: me in it, I'm not saying I don't feel good,
Speaker 2: but I don't feel better. I don't go yeah, I
Speaker 2: go no. I know that. I'm so confident in that ability,
Speaker 2: but I'm amazed you saw it. And the example is Jesus.
Speaker 2: So the centurion comes to Jesus and said, I have
Speaker 2: a sick person, you know, And Jesus goes, take me
Speaker 2: to him. The centurion goes, wait a minute. I'm a
Speaker 2: man in authority. People under me. I know if I
Speaker 2: say a word, it happens. You're the son of God.
Speaker 2: You say a word, it can happen, So you don't
Speaker 2: need to come to say the word. And Jesus turns
Speaker 2: to his disciples and he didn't go see that seeing
Speaker 2: I'm amazing, see that I got affirmed. I'm awesome. Jesus
Speaker 2: turned to disciples and said and it says Jesus was
Speaker 2: a stop and amazed, and he says, I haven't seen
Speaker 2: this kind of faith in all of Israel. So the
Speaker 2: centurion affirms Jesus. Jesus doesn't feel better about himself. He
Speaker 2: actually feels better about the centurion and brags about the
Speaker 2: centurion to the disciples. That's high self esteem, right, not
Speaker 2: looking what he could get out of it, and even
Speaker 2: benefiting from it. And that's what you're doing in the supermarket, Janet.
Speaker 2: You're not looking for what you're going to get out
Speaker 2: of it. You're looking that other people. You know that
Speaker 2: you feel better, that feel better about others.
Speaker 4: Actually, because I have that joy, right.
Speaker 2: You're getting that benefit from loving.
Speaker 3: I have high selfesteemings I'm I'm I'm a good I'm
Speaker 3: a good cook. I actually did private shipping for a while.
Speaker 3: So when I make a dish for someone and they
Speaker 3: if they say, okay, it's good, I'm like, okay, it's fine.
Speaker 3: But if they say, you know what, I really like
Speaker 3: that you did this thing with it, you did something
Speaker 3: complex to it. You know, the sauce that you put
Speaker 3: it really really brought this thing out. You know what
Speaker 3: I think better, I know that I'm good at this,
Speaker 3: but oh okay, you actually have some some skill here,
Speaker 3: some talent of your own. You you recognize you know
Speaker 3: that I did this subtle, nuanced thing that brought out
Speaker 3: the flavor. I think better of you now. I'm fine.
Speaker 4: I love that because I love to cook too. And
Speaker 4: I'm like sitting here thinking, oh yeah, like if you
Speaker 4: go somewhere to somebody's house or something and you know
Speaker 4: exactly what spices that they used and something you know,
Speaker 4: and then people are like.
Speaker 3: WHOA like one thing that I do?
Speaker 4: I do that? That was weird?
Speaker 2: What thing I like to do?
Speaker 3: And if you if you like going to good restaurants,
Speaker 3: I recommend you do this. Once you get a goodition
Speaker 3: you really like it, ask your server to go to
Speaker 3: the chef and ask the can you ask the chef
Speaker 3: what he did to to actually to bring out to
Speaker 3: bring out the flavor in this That's it never fails.
Speaker 3: I've had the chef will either compliment will will either
Speaker 3: tell the server to compliment me, or I've had the
Speaker 3: chef actually come out of the of the kitchen and
Speaker 3: talk to me why because I'm like, wow, this person
Speaker 3: gets it. I love what I do. This is the love.
Speaker 3: I love cooking, and this person gets it. He's not
Speaker 3: just like shoveling the food in his mouth. He actually
Speaker 3: appreciates something about it. I want to come out to
Speaker 3: him and talk. I've had that I've had, like famous
Speaker 3: chef U Bear Keller has says, came out and he's
Speaker 3: he's the famous chef. He's well, he used to be
Speaker 3: in a start school's in Vegas.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: He actually came out and took pictures with me because
Speaker 3: he had a dish of venison and he used a
Speaker 3: hunter sauce on it. And I said, I said, is
Speaker 3: this a hunter sauce?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 3: It goes really well because it brings out the earthiness
Speaker 3: of the venison. So I had a famous celebrity chef
Speaker 3: come out and take a picture with me because I
Speaker 3: told him that.
Speaker 4: And I think that's good though. I mean a lot
Speaker 4: of people need that. But well, there's not a lot
Speaker 4: of people that you run into in your daily life
Speaker 4: that have that that high self esteem. You know that
Speaker 4: that can be I guess that that boost for other people.
Speaker 2: Right, And so that's why everybody, all of us have
Speaker 2: an area of our life where we're low self esteem,
Speaker 2: we're no self esteem where we're mid where we're high,
Speaker 2: but overall, you know, that original question is trying to
Speaker 2: figure out overall where are you at overall? And people,
Speaker 2: you know, Jesus was overall at high self esteem, so
Speaker 2: it's not it's not easy to find people like that.
Speaker 2: So now I want to move into the equation for happiness. Perfect, Okay,
Speaker 2: So there is an equation for happiness. It's for ease,
Speaker 2: so it should be easy to remember. So happiness is
Speaker 2: experiencing effects exceeding expectations, and you can write that in
Speaker 2: two halves. Experiencing effects as one half of it, and
Speaker 2: exceeding expectations is the other half.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 2: Okay, So let's take the first half of this experience effects.
Speaker 2: So experience we already said, you know, tangible stuff or
Speaker 2: the intangible the qualitative, So it's a qualitative thing, experience,
Speaker 2: you're going to experience this effect. Half of happiness is
Speaker 2: we're going to experience our context. There's a context, there's
Speaker 2: an external world that we're going to experience effect. So
Speaker 2: an effect is something that happens we're not in control of.
Speaker 2: This isn't say experience a cause I went and did
Speaker 2: this thing. It's something happens to us. Something as an
Speaker 2: effect happens to us. So now whatever that effect is,
Speaker 2: it's got to exceed. It's got to be above. Now
Speaker 2: we get into the quantitive side, it's got to be
Speaker 2: above what we expected. So I like to say, you know,
Speaker 2: if you gave me twenty dollars and I was expecting forty,
Speaker 2: I'm not happy. If you gave me twenty dollars and
Speaker 2: I wasn't expecting anything. Both cases, you gave me twenty dollars,
Speaker 2: my happiness was all what I was expecting. It wasn't
Speaker 2: what you gave me. So the experience, the effect, you
Speaker 2: can see it as the environment that it's the tangible world.
Speaker 2: So the problem is is that when you start to
Speaker 2: expect more things, it gets harder and harder to be happy.
Speaker 2: That's why a certain amount of money gets you out
Speaker 2: of the hole and can make you happy. And then
Speaker 2: it's called the prosperity paradox. When you start making too
Speaker 2: much money, you can't get happy again. And so what
Speaker 2: happens is is this thing is called a conjunctive. We
Speaker 2: need both halves of this. One half is going to
Speaker 2: do it. So there are people who try to achieve
Speaker 2: all this stuff and make all this money. They're not happy,
Speaker 2: and then they go, fine, I'm maybe a Buddhist, I
Speaker 2: don't want anything. Well, if you notice, half of happiness
Speaker 2: is something experiencing an effect is something like you said,
Speaker 2: the twenty dollars, But where was your brain before you
Speaker 2: experienced that? That really is what's determining your happiness, not
Speaker 2: what you got. But you do need to get something.
Speaker 2: Somebody needs. You need to receive something, and then it
Speaker 2: needs to be above your expectation.
Speaker 4: Like even something as small as you weren't expecting an
Speaker 4: apology for somebody, right, but it happened, and that should affect.
Speaker 2: Your brain releases pleasure chemicals when this happens. If you
Speaker 2: experience an effect, something you didn't cause to happen, and
Speaker 2: it exceed your expectations, your brain will release chemicals. If
Speaker 2: you make something happen, your brain's not going to release
Speaker 2: it because it wasn't en effect. You were in control
Speaker 2: of it. He knew what was going on. That's the
Speaker 2: way it happened. So any thoughts about that or I'm.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Yeah, Well, what I'm thinking about is and I
Speaker 3: don't want to get ahead of you because I know
Speaker 3: you want to talk about the ultimate form of happiness.
Speaker 3: But it just makes me think about heaven. And I
Speaker 3: spoke before about how Solomon's world or the lifely experience
Speaker 3: is a straw man of heaven, and that straw man
Speaker 3: word is there because I had a conversation. I was
Speaker 3: on a podcast earlier today talking to someone about Jesus
Speaker 3: and about how we have this straw man of who
Speaker 3: we think Jesus is. We think he's like the nicest
Speaker 3: guy who ever existed, and he was just nothing but
Speaker 3: Sweden loving and you never got angry with anyone. I said, well,
Speaker 3: that's a straw man. That's not who he was. Biblically speaking,
Speaker 3: he was actually you know, he called his disciples, you know,
Speaker 3: idiots in the binacular. He says, you got a slow
Speaker 3: of learning. How long will I be with you? He
Speaker 3: got it frustrated with him and said, you guys aren't
Speaker 3: getting it. You know, when when someone when when the
Speaker 3: money changes in the temple were cheating people. He didn't
Speaker 3: just he just said, oh, please stop, I'll pray for you. No,
Speaker 3: he went and intentionally made a whip and beat the
Speaker 3: crap out of him. I mean, he tried to probably
Speaker 3: spend in an hour just thinking I'm making this whip.
Speaker 3: This was premeditator, and he did. So my point is
Speaker 3: that I was a straw man. And so we try
Speaker 3: to live up to this Jesus that didn't even exist,
Speaker 3: that's in our head in our pop culture, and we
Speaker 3: try to be officially nice to everyone because we think
Speaker 3: that's what Jesus was like, and that he would never
Speaker 3: get angry and that he would never stand up for himself.
Speaker 3: And so we make ourselves into this milk toast caricature,
Speaker 3: caricature that we that's unsustainable.
Speaker 4: And we know that the step two, the step two right.
Speaker 4: People that don't want any stress or drama, and so
Speaker 4: they avoid, They put their head in the sand, you know,
Speaker 4: all of those things. They could be getting abused mentally, physically, whatever,
Speaker 4: and they won't say anything. They just cower and God
Speaker 4: calls us, you know, to have our strength and to
Speaker 4: speak out against wrongs. And so, you know, some people
Speaker 4: I like to say I don't have a filter. I do,
Speaker 4: but I like to say that I don't have a filter. Filter.
Speaker 4: I won't sugarcoat something for someone. I will tell you
Speaker 4: what you need to hear, not what you want to hear,
Speaker 4: because you have to have that realization that somebody cares
Speaker 4: enough about your well being to make you look at
Speaker 4: your behavior, you know, see how your behavior affects other people,
Speaker 4: you know, and then hopefully they adjustments accordingly and psych
Speaker 4: yourself to by that situation.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: And and what would let's say you encountered someone a
Speaker 3: Christian who did seem like, oh, they're all they're nice
Speaker 3: all the time, no matter what anyone says. They're just
Speaker 3: all sunny and happy. You would think they were fake.
Speaker 3: And you'd be right, they are fake because you know,
Speaker 3: that's not your unconscious notes, that is not reality. So
Speaker 3: this person is fake. And if this person is fake,
Speaker 3: and the religion that they claim to be a part of,
Speaker 3: is that I want nothing to do with it, right,
Speaker 3: because it's not really.
Speaker 4: That's like the good, be all and all argument for religion, right,
Speaker 4: And that's why so many people are turned off by
Speaker 4: religion quote religion, because it's all of these expectations and
Speaker 4: customs and things that we made up, you know, whether
Speaker 4: in our mind or whether we were told something by
Speaker 4: somebody else, things that we have to be or do
Speaker 4: or or whatever. When you know, like if you cuss,
Speaker 4: like and you say you're gonna stop cussing, then people
Speaker 4: expect you to not ever say another cussword. That is
Speaker 4: not realistic in God's mind because you are still going
Speaker 4: through sanctification process. He's still trying to read your garden
Speaker 4: of you know, all the bad stuff. And so you know,
Speaker 4: if you have a word come out of you every
Speaker 4: once in a while, you know, especially at the beginning,
Speaker 4: it's okay, because we're not perfect, but people expect that,
Speaker 4: they expect that from If you're a Christian, you should
Speaker 4: never ever falter.
Speaker 2: Okay, So what is that expectation? Janet?
Speaker 4: It's the beautiful thing though. Look at the Bible. Look
Speaker 4: at how many times the apostles like didn't believe, didn't follow,
Speaker 4: had their own you know, shortcomings, depression, disbelief, all of
Speaker 4: that stuff that's us every day of life.
Speaker 2: Okay, So, Jenet, what is that expectation? What would you say,
Speaker 2: is the expectation that these religious people are putting.
Speaker 4: On everybody that we're all supposed to be perfect and
Speaker 4: we're not just ever again, So if.
Speaker 2: The expectation is perfect, how do you exceed that?
Speaker 4: You can't.
Speaker 2: So you literally just prevented.
Speaker 4: Happiness one hundred percent, and.
Speaker 2: You it was dangerous about perfection is it blocks happiness.
Speaker 4: And that's the people in the church. And that's what
Speaker 4: organized religion has done to so many people is beat
Speaker 4: into their head that we expect you to be perfect.
Speaker 4: God died for your sins, so you should be perfect already.
Speaker 4: You should be blamedless and sinless, and you should be
Speaker 4: you know, this glorious creature of perfection. And that is
Speaker 4: not us. Because we have free will, We're going to
Speaker 4: make mistakes. We're gonna say the wrong thing, do the
Speaker 4: wrong thing, you know, all of that stuff. We're going
Speaker 4: to respond to things from our subconscious in a manner
Speaker 4: that is not appropriate, right, and it's up to us
Speaker 4: to catch that and be like, oh wow, next time
Speaker 4: that happens, I could probably address that a lot better.
Speaker 4: But that's only through God's help because we can't do
Speaker 4: that stuff on our own, right.
Speaker 2: So perfection. So I'm telling you this is how our
Speaker 2: brain actually works. If people put the ex If you
Speaker 2: start putting the expectation of perfection on yourself because of
Speaker 2: these people, you cannot exceed it, right, you will be
Speaker 2: unable to be happy. So that is the right way. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So that's one way that that happiness gets blocked. Anybody
Speaker 2: who says I'm a perfectionist is blocking their brain's ability
Speaker 2: to kick out these chemicals. Now, before I go to
Speaker 2: the other thing that blocks this, I want to I
Speaker 2: want to take a moment to talk about what you're saying, because, again,
Speaker 2: how is our brain designed by God? Our brain was
Speaker 2: designed a specific way, and what we're really trying to
Speaker 2: do is help people understand how their brain works so
Speaker 2: that they can be in line with what God has.
Speaker 2: So our brain is made that we say something and
Speaker 2: then our unconscious here's it. Our unconscious speaks to us,
Speaker 2: and our conscience in our unconscious speaks to us. So
Speaker 2: it could say to us, hey, that wasn't right, and
Speaker 2: it'll send a message. That message will get to you
Speaker 2: as a feeling, and that feeling is called guilt. Guilt
Speaker 2: is information. Our brain is made that we try things,
Speaker 2: and when we make a mistake, we find out and
Speaker 2: then we repair it. That's why I say a bad
Speaker 2: person is not somebody who does something wrong. A bad
Speaker 2: person is proven by how they respond to the wrong.
Speaker 2: If you do something wrong you don't fix it, then
Speaker 2: you're bad. Versus if you do something wrong and you
Speaker 2: fix it, you're not bad, right, and that's the way
Speaker 2: God made our brain. But people want to say we're robots.
Speaker 2: Nothing should come out of you. So one of the
Speaker 2: things when I talk to people, I go, there's three
Speaker 2: differences between a computer and AI and our mind and brain,
Speaker 2: and one of them is what you just said. A
Speaker 2: computer doesn't. A computer assumes what it said was perfect.
Speaker 2: A computer never checks what it says after it says
Speaker 2: it to see if it was perfect. We're not computers, right,
Speaker 2: and so when we try to hold people to that
Speaker 2: computer standard, we're going against the way God designed our
Speaker 2: brain and the way we're supposed to operate. So that's
Speaker 2: really dangerous. And that's why a lot of people are
Speaker 2: having mental and emotional issues is because they're buying into
Speaker 2: the perfection. They're buying into being a computer, and they're
Speaker 2: blocking their happiness. So what's the thing that would block
Speaker 2: happiness on the other half of this equation? Experience and
Speaker 2: an effect. When I go into the classroom, one of
Speaker 2: the things I'll do to the kids is I'll take
Speaker 2: something like a pen and I'll slowly go to give
Speaker 2: it to them. And usually because the kids I'm dealing
Speaker 2: with have trauma, they'll grab it right out of my hand.
Speaker 2: It's really tense for them to open their hand and
Speaker 2: let me place it in their hand, Let me love them,
Speaker 2: let me give to them. They're taken. And so the
Speaker 2: thing is is it's because they can't stand the tension
Speaker 2: and they take control. And control is a cause. An
Speaker 2: effect is giving up control. So if you focus on
Speaker 2: more control, you're blocking your happiness. So control and perfection
Speaker 2: the quickest way is for a person to block their
Speaker 2: happiness if they think the solution to happiness is I
Speaker 2: need more control or I need to be more.
Speaker 4: Perfect, honey, And that right there is huge, huge problem
Speaker 4: for a lot of people. A lot of relationships fail
Speaker 4: because of this because one partner is super controlling and
Speaker 4: everything has to be done my way, my way or
Speaker 4: the highway, you know, and trying to explain to them
Speaker 4: that there are multiple ways to accomplish the same thing,
Speaker 4: but just doing it different steps, different way. People that
Speaker 4: have that control things seem to always be that highly
Speaker 4: super analytical, only see black and white, don't see any
Speaker 4: gray in the middle, don't see any other way other
Speaker 4: than how they function. They're acting like that causes so
Speaker 4: much tension and turmoil and oh, unhappiness.
Speaker 2: They're not being a human, They're being a computer. So
Speaker 2: what I like to say is everyone does everything in
Speaker 2: order to be happy. Everyone. So when I look at
Speaker 2: anyone like you talk about this controlling person, my first
Speaker 2: step is to go, he's just trying to be happy.
Speaker 2: Everyone does everything to get their brain to release pleasure
Speaker 2: chemicals now or set their brain up to release pleasure
Speaker 2: chemicals in the future. Nobody does something to block their
Speaker 2: brain from releasing pleasure chemicals now and block it in
Speaker 2: the future. So when I deal with people like that,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I, you are just trying to be happy,
Speaker 2: and I'm talking unconsciously, but I'm talking consciously, and don't
Speaker 2: wake up and look at you like, wait a minute.
Speaker 2: They know they're being controlling, but no one's ever put
Speaker 2: the words to the feelings. And then all of a
Speaker 2: sudden they look at you and go, yeah, like that's
Speaker 2: I'm not a bad guy. I'm just trying to be happy.
Speaker 2: It's like, you're right, you know, Hitler was just trying
Speaker 2: to be happy. There are four ways to try to
Speaker 2: be happy, and I identify them with that at the start,
Speaker 2: and that's what I end up saying to them. Is
Speaker 2: look it, you're just trying to be happy. But there
Speaker 2: are four ways to go about it. You can try
Speaker 2: to be happy by wishing bad on other people. You
Speaker 2: can try to be happy by avoiding tension. You can
Speaker 2: try to be happy by you know, embracing the tension
Speaker 2: and making this thing try to happen. Or you can
Speaker 2: be happy by giving up control and just responding to everything.
Speaker 2: By being more yourself. You're always gonna there's always gonna
Speaker 2: be the tension there, and you're always gonna end it
Speaker 2: with more and not sustainable. And when you pose it
Speaker 2: that way, the super logical person's like, you know, because
Speaker 2: I go, which one are you doing? Now? Logically they
Speaker 2: have to go, I'm not doing a good one, am I?
Speaker 2: I'm not? What is that?
Speaker 4: What's that fourth foot?
Speaker 2: Again? Well? How that work? Well? Now we're talking about Hey,
Speaker 2: this is you need to understand who you are and
Speaker 2: you need to bring that out because is it working?
Speaker 2: Like I like to say, what your so, what's your
Speaker 2: plan for happiness? Is it working? How much longer would
Speaker 2: you have to do this? And I've I've seen this happen.
Speaker 2: This just happened recently with a couple in the UK.
Speaker 2: But I've been doing this for over twenty years, and
Speaker 2: normally what happens is one of just what you said,
Speaker 2: one of the spouses, man or male or female decides,
Speaker 2: you know what, you're blocking my happiness, Janet, you're blocking
Speaker 2: my happiness. I would be happy if you didn't talk
Speaker 2: to your friends anymore, be happy if if you would
Speaker 2: do this for me, I'd be happy. And so I'm
Speaker 2: going through life convinced that happiness is possible. But you're
Speaker 2: the person blocking me. And the advice I would give
Speaker 2: to you is we call it weed killer. Do ask
Speaker 2: him exactly what it would take for them to be happy,
Speaker 2: and do it for him, and I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2: Do it for him for a week. But I haven't
Speaker 2: seen anybody make it three days, right, okay. And this
Speaker 2: last case, they didn't even get to do it because
Speaker 2: the person said to him, I will do all this
Speaker 2: and you will put a smile on your face and
Speaker 2: be happy, because that's what you'd say. John, Are you
Speaker 2: saying if I stop talking to my friends, then you'll
Speaker 2: walk around with a smile on your face? John? Now,
Speaker 2: remember that's an energy thing, that's an unconscious thing. I
Speaker 2: can't and what you're really unconsciously confronting me, is John,
Speaker 2: you have a plan for happiness, Let's find out if
Speaker 2: it works. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna stop talking
Speaker 2: to my friends. You're gonna walk around the smile on
Speaker 2: your face, right John? And after day I'm going to
Speaker 2: be more upset. Yep, because now there is no plan
Speaker 2: for happiness. See I was I was happy knowing you
Speaker 2: were blocking my happiness and I had a strategy for happiness.
Speaker 2: When you actually do what I need and I'm not happy,
Speaker 2: I don't have it. And now on twce is man,
Speaker 2: I'm like, how could you do that to me? What
Speaker 2: do exactly what you told me to do? So now
Speaker 2: I'm never going to be happy. It's like, okay, now
Speaker 2: do now do you realize it's time to give up control?
Speaker 2: Now do you realize it's time that this control thing
Speaker 2: was never going to make you happy? So now you
Speaker 2: can start growing. Now we'll find out if you're really good.
Speaker 2: We'll find out in this scenario if I'm a good
Speaker 2: person or not, because if, like Ed said, if I'm humble,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go Hey, I obviously don't know how what
Speaker 2: makes me happy versus you know when I went to
Speaker 2: the UK. This was three years ago. Somebody was buying
Speaker 2: my book and people were buying my book online that
Speaker 2: was out of print for like one hundred and forty US,
Speaker 2: and so we decided to go see what was going
Speaker 2: on with people over there. And it was a guy
Speaker 2: who was coaching all these people based on this information.
Speaker 2: And he invited all these people over for dinner, and
Speaker 2: then after dinner, these people stood in his kitchen and
Speaker 2: dining room and told their story about how they got
Speaker 2: off of medication, they got off of all these different things,
Speaker 2: you know. And I'm crying for half the stories. My
Speaker 2: wife cried for every one of the stories. And when
Speaker 2: it was done, they were like, aren't you you know
Speaker 2: why do you feel about this? John? Basically like, see,
Speaker 2: it's all because of you. Don't you feel great that
Speaker 2: you're so awesome? And I said, well, transformation takes three things.
Speaker 2: Number One, it takes the right information, the truth. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I gave you the truth. I'll a third of the credit.
Speaker 2: Second thing is it takes a coach. We're humans. You
Speaker 2: have to have somebody who's helping you do it. This guy,
Speaker 2: Dean did all that. He takes a third. The third
Speaker 2: thing is his transformation takes a person who wants who's humble,
Speaker 2: so you all are deserve a third. And then I
Speaker 2: told him, I said, I don't know how to make
Speaker 2: myself happy. I tried all these ways to make myself happy,
Speaker 2: and then I realized God knows me better than anybody else,
Speaker 2: He loves me more than anybody else, and he has
Speaker 2: all the information right, So why don't I let God
Speaker 2: make me happy? I said, I'm sitting here in a
Speaker 2: kitchen in Dundee, Scotland happy and this was never in
Speaker 2: my plan exactly. So it's like, that's the thing is,
Speaker 2: I don't know how to make myself happy, but I
Speaker 2: know someone who does, and I've given up control and
Speaker 2: allowed him to show me that. And that's that's how
Speaker 2: I stay happy. I try to stay in God's well
Speaker 2: and I try to take God's direction versus me going, oh,
Speaker 2: I have a strategy and I'll sell it to you
Speaker 2: in a book, and it's not that's not it. So
Speaker 2: that's where we're trying to, Like, if you understand happiness,
Speaker 2: you know that's what we're trying to do. You've got
Speaker 2: to give.
Speaker 4: Up control, up control, yeah, because even you know if
Speaker 4: if you try the experiment for a day. A lot
Speaker 4: of people probably wouldn't last two hours because they would
Speaker 4: get very annoyed with their significant other. But it's like
Speaker 4: a temporary band aid, you know, like you give up
Speaker 4: your your friends and you stop talking to your family,
Speaker 4: and you do all these things. It may temporarily make
Speaker 4: them hapsy. I got her to give up all her
Speaker 4: print and you know whatever. It may make them feel
Speaker 4: good for just a moment, and then guaranteed they're going
Speaker 4: to have some guilt creeping.
Speaker 2: Well, the thing is is you have to have that.
Speaker 2: You have to have that agreement up front, so you
Speaker 2: can't just say fine, I'll do this because you're right,
Speaker 2: and they're going to feel this. I got them do it.
Speaker 2: I want I always tell people, you say to them, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is what's going to make you happy, right yeah,
Speaker 2: So I'm going to stop talking to them, and you're
Speaker 2: gonna have a smile on face, and you're going to
Speaker 2: walk around and you're not going to complain about anything,
Speaker 2: right right there.
Speaker 4: That wasn't a plan. That wasn't what I had in mind.
Speaker 2: Right No, I really want to make you happy. I
Speaker 2: want to see you walk around smying. I want to
Speaker 2: see you not complaining what do I need to do
Speaker 2: for that? Well, I don't know if that'll do it?
Speaker 2: Then why am I doing this? Why am I the friends?
Speaker 4: You know a lot of people too, when they're like
Speaker 4: lost and searching for answers and stuff. If you were
Speaker 4: to ask a room of one hundred people, like what
Speaker 4: will make you happy? A lot of people will say
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: If they're honest, yeah, like.
Speaker 4: They have no idea. You know what it is like
Speaker 4: for me personally, Like I don't want money because money
Speaker 4: brings problems. I don't I'm not an adrenaline junkie, so
Speaker 4: I'm not looking for like.
Speaker 2: The number three I like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm old and so the adrenaline thing not for me.
Speaker 4: I don't like broken bones. That's not like in my wheelhouse,
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. But so many people are
Speaker 4: like so lost in their in their thoughts and the
Speaker 4: clutter that is living inside their head that they can't
Speaker 4: tell you even one thing that would bring them any
Speaker 4: kind of happiness, like whatsoever? Nothing?
Speaker 2: I want to what Ed was talking out of heaven
Speaker 2: because heaven's the answers, So I want to I want
Speaker 2: to say one more thing before we make our way
Speaker 2: to AD's point. So when I go into a classroom,
Speaker 2: I'll say to the kids, and this is a lot
Speaker 2: of times, I mean, this is all the way to
Speaker 2: high school. I'll say, what do you think you know
Speaker 2: what will if you had a magic wand what would
Speaker 2: you wish for? And the answer is money or fame?
Speaker 2: Why do you want to be famous? So I have
Speaker 2: a lot of money, So the answer is money. So
Speaker 2: I'll say to the kids, why do you want money? Well,
Speaker 2: so I could buy this thing. Why do you want
Speaker 2: to buy that thing? So I can do this thing?
Speaker 2: Why do you want to do this thing? It'll make
Speaker 2: me happy? And I say, why not? Just be happy?
Speaker 1: M hm?
Speaker 2: And so now everybody in the room, sit, the go ahead,
Speaker 2: be happy. How do you just be happy? Right? So
Speaker 2: I draw the two circles and I explain the two
Speaker 2: halves of happiness experience effects, exceed expectations. And I said,
Speaker 2: what you all fell in the trap of was what
Speaker 2: you were going to try to do is you were
Speaker 2: going to try to get the most possible effects. So
Speaker 2: you're going to try to You're going to try to
Speaker 2: get the most money in the world, be the most famous,
Speaker 2: have the most you know, women looking at you, that's
Speaker 2: your answer. Live in the biggest house, drive the biggest cars,
Speaker 2: that's your answer. And I said, here's the thing. Are
Speaker 2: you even in control of that? Really you're not. And
Speaker 2: second of all, even the people who achieved that, they're
Speaker 2: not happy, a lot of those people end up killing themselves.
Speaker 2: Jim Carrey began losing his mind. He said, when he
Speaker 2: got to Ede's point, when he got what he said
Speaker 2: would make him happy right and realized it didn't make happy.
Speaker 2: So and some of these kids go, well, you never know, okay,
Speaker 2: but let's just be honest about it. Your strategy for
Speaker 2: happiness is to try to have so much stuff you
Speaker 2: exceed this. And even though this isn't in your control,
Speaker 2: and even though you've seen other people are unhappy, but
Speaker 2: that's your plan. You know what's in your control, your expectations,
Speaker 2: your brain. See, half of happiness is the environment, your circumstances,
Speaker 2: and half of happiness is your brain. So the short
Speaker 2: answer to happiness is this, happiness is putting your brain
Speaker 2: in the right spot before you experience your circumstances. That's
Speaker 2: really what it is. Are you in control or can
Speaker 2: you be in control of where you put your brain
Speaker 2: that is in your control, you know.
Speaker 4: And the this part like is so like impactful because
Speaker 4: so many people's expectations, especially nowadays, right they expect you
Speaker 4: to understand and how they're feeling. They expect you to
Speaker 4: think the same way that they think. All of these things.
Speaker 4: But all of that requires communication, and if you have
Speaker 4: no like open dialogue between people, communication is not a thing.
Speaker 4: So expectations are definitely something that you have to tamp
Speaker 4: down because think of even in a relationship, like, how
Speaker 4: can you expect your partner to know how you're feeling
Speaker 4: if you don't share that, if you don't have that
Speaker 4: capability to be vulnerable enough to say, you know what, John,
Speaker 4: what you just said really upset me, and here's why
Speaker 4: I'm upset. If you don't have that communication, everything breaks
Speaker 4: down because the expectations that I'm placing on you as
Speaker 4: as a mind greater, You're supposed to automatically know what
Speaker 4: I'm thinking and feeling.
Speaker 2: So we're back to the first time we all met.
Speaker 2: So your uniqueness is your mind or soul. Your brain
Speaker 2: is not who you are. Your brain is what you use.
Speaker 2: Like your car, you're the driver. But your brain is
Speaker 2: unique and your partner, what's their uniqueness? They see the
Speaker 2: world this way? You see the world this way? Do
Speaker 2: you know how to talk to someone who sees the
Speaker 2: world this way? That's why I think understanding in tangible
Speaker 2: drivers is so important, so the first step, because it
Speaker 2: allows us to know how to connect with people, us
Speaker 2: to know how to make them feel safe. Ultimately, if
Speaker 2: you learn how you your uniqueness and how you think,
Speaker 2: you learn that you will be an expert in putting
Speaker 2: your brain in the right spot, and then you're always
Speaker 2: going to be happy, right because you know how to
Speaker 2: move your brain wron So why wouldn't everybody focus on
Speaker 2: learning their uniqueness and how their brain works in order
Speaker 2: to be happy? Why is everybody going after the thing
Speaker 2: that's not in their control, is never going to happen
Speaker 2: and doesn't work anyways. And that's the point I make
Speaker 2: to the kids, and then we start down the road
Speaker 2: of understanding ourselves. And that leads right to what Ed
Speaker 2: was saying, like, what's heaven? It's people interacting with each
Speaker 2: other in their uniqueness.
Speaker 3: Right exactly, Because but John was saying, when you get
Speaker 3: to the happiness, what you know, the sustainable happiness is
Speaker 3: is again on this earth, not acting in your uniqueness
Speaker 3: because that is because that's going to make you happy,
Speaker 3: because why.
Speaker 2: Are you happy?
Speaker 3: Because you're giving your value to someone else and you're
Speaker 3: receiving their value back and in receiving value back from them,
Speaker 3: you can do that eternally, and that's what happened. Im
Speaker 3: more accurate that the New Jerusalem. That's where it's gonna be.
Speaker 3: But for the sake of argument for the just say
Speaker 3: crystal policy, we'll call it heaven. Where we talked before
Speaker 3: about I think the straw man of heaven is that
Speaker 3: no tension at all. That would not make anyone happy
Speaker 3: sustainably for a few Yeah, maybe for a few you know,
Speaker 3: years or whatever, you'll be happy no attension, But then
Speaker 3: you're going to need something because no one's uniqueness is
Speaker 3: about not having tension. Your uniqueness, it's interacting with others.
Speaker 3: Your happiness. It's interacting with others. And when you interact
Speaker 3: with others, you are going to have tension because they're
Speaker 3: not you, because the other person you're interacting with is
Speaker 3: also unique. So there there's going to be tension there.
Speaker 3: But the happiness comes, like John said before, the release
Speaker 3: of the tension. So what's going to be happening for
Speaker 3: eternity is I will be acting in my uniqueness, and
Speaker 3: I'll interact with you and your uniqueness. I'll give you
Speaker 3: some of my uniqueness. You'll give me some of yours.
Speaker 3: That will make us both happy. And then I interact
Speaker 3: with John. But when John interacts with me, he's not
Speaker 3: just getting my uniqueness. He's getting my uniqueness plus the
Speaker 3: little the value that I got from you. So he's
Speaker 3: getting like mostly Ed and a little bit of Janet.
Speaker 3: And now we've interacted. Now John has some of me,
Speaker 3: some of you, and some of him. Now John can
Speaker 3: go to someone else and interact now and they will
Speaker 3: get all of that. And then let's say I meet
Speaker 3: up with John a thousand years later, and all the
Speaker 3: people he's interacted with, he could come back to me
Speaker 3: and we will interact, and I've got all those other
Speaker 3: uniquenesses and I can take that. And now I can
Speaker 3: go to Jen. Hey, Jenny, I've just interacted with John.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen him four a thousand years, and here's
Speaker 3: all the things I've learned from him, and all the
Speaker 3: value that I've gotten from his interacting with other people.
Speaker 3: And I give that to you. We can keep doing
Speaker 3: that forever, and we will. The saddest day of heaven
Speaker 3: will be your first day. Saddest quote unquote why because
Speaker 3: every day after that, every moment after that, will be
Speaker 3: us interacting with each other more and getting more value
Speaker 3: from each other and growing and growing intention have that
Speaker 3: tension being released because again, the more unique, the more
Speaker 3: uniqueness that you interact with, the more tension there is,
Speaker 3: and the greater the release, so the greater the happiness.
Speaker 3: And you can bring that to someone else, and again
Speaker 3: you can do that over and over again forever, So
Speaker 3: happiness and joy will increase for ever.
Speaker 4: See. I like that. That's a ripple effect, right, and
Speaker 4: how and how your interaction with somebody affects so many
Speaker 4: other people down the line.
Speaker 2: Right, God made our brains in this fashion that this
Speaker 2: is the only way we can be increasingly happy forever.
Speaker 2: So the people who recognize this today are the ones
Speaker 2: who say things like, Hey, I really like talking with
Speaker 2: you and interacting with you guys, and I could do
Speaker 2: this every day every day.
Speaker 4: And that's like.
Speaker 2: When you said that at the start, I thought, oh
Speaker 2: my goodness, she just said exactly has an understanding of
Speaker 2: how our brain actually works. And that's that's the part
Speaker 2: that the reason I understand how the mind and brain
Speaker 2: works is because I read it in the Bible, and
Speaker 2: I and in the Bible explains that. Well. I try
Speaker 2: to illustrate it this way. I try to say, you know,
Speaker 2: God has two brothers and they eat say hey, could
Speaker 2: you come look at my universe. I create it because
Speaker 2: I'm having a problem and I don't understand what the
Speaker 2: problem is. And in both of these other two universes,
Speaker 2: everybody kills themself, and God goes to the one brother
Speaker 2: and says, well, what's going on here? And he goes, well,
Speaker 2: I designed their brains so that when they experience the
Speaker 2: greatest thing, they have the greatest feeling. Well, what's wrong
Speaker 2: with that? Well, after everybody has that greatest feeling, there's
Speaker 2: nothing to look forward to, and they eventually kill themselves,
Speaker 2: and the other brother goes, yeah, I saw that, and
Speaker 2: I figured out I will never let them experience the
Speaker 2: greatest thing. I'm going to help them get closer and closer,
Speaker 2: but they're never going to get to experience that. Well
Speaker 2: how's that work. Well, when they figure out they're never
Speaker 2: going to experience it, they kill themselves. And it's like,
Speaker 2: what did you do God, and he's like I made
Speaker 2: our I made their brains different. And it's not the
Speaker 2: way psychologists say our brains work. If you really understand
Speaker 2: how our brains work, ninety percent of its unconscious. And
Speaker 2: the thing is is it's that happiness equation. If you
Speaker 2: give up control and you and you experience tension by
Speaker 2: responding to a to a cause to an effect. If
Speaker 2: you respond and your response is to be more, you
Speaker 2: to be more vulnerable. So you've said that too, I
Speaker 2: just overshare. I'm just vulnerable. It's like we're going to
Speaker 2: grow in vulnerability, We're going to grow in learning ourselves,
Speaker 2: and we're going to experience all these different situations. So
Speaker 2: that's going to keep the tension. Like Ed said, we're
Speaker 2: gonna have tension and then and then that's what we're
Speaker 2: gonna do. So the ultimate, my ultimate answer to all
Speaker 2: of this, like eternity is an AD's helped me a
Speaker 2: lot with this. The new Jerusalem is called the Bride.
Speaker 2: And the thing is is that the word cell comes
Speaker 2: from the word room, and Jesus said, in my father's house,
Speaker 2: there's many mansions in revelation. When the new Jeuwsalm comes down,
Speaker 2: it's called God's House. Now the New Jerusalem is fifteen
Speaker 2: hundred miles on one side, fifteen hundred miles to the
Speaker 2: other side, and fifteen hundred miles tall. So that's half
Speaker 2: the United States and that high. If we if you
Speaker 2: had a room that was a quarter of a mile
Speaker 2: by a quarter of a mile by a quarter of mile,
Speaker 2: it still would take like a trillion people to fill that.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, I could put a lot of
Speaker 4: people in that room.
Speaker 2: But that's yours. Like, is that a mansion. I think
Speaker 2: that might be the definition of a mansion. Imagine a
Speaker 2: room room a quarter mile, quarter mile by quarter mile.
Speaker 2: You're gonna have this mansion. You're going to be a
Speaker 2: cell in the body of a bride. Well, what does
Speaker 2: a cell do? And now I'm an old guy.
Speaker 4: Everybody has its unique purpose, right.
Speaker 2: But when we look at a cell, when I was
Speaker 2: in high school, there were like five parts to a cell,
Speaker 2: and it was pretty easy to understand. With all the
Speaker 2: technology we're now understanding, there's so much stuff going on
Speaker 2: in a cell that there's a there's a book I
Speaker 2: think it's called The The Not The Explanation of Absolutely Everything,
Speaker 2: or something like that, and he explains, if you took
Speaker 2: a cell and blew it up, you know, to a
Speaker 2: like a quarter mile by quarter mile type of thing,
Speaker 2: he goes, there would be no place to stand that
Speaker 2: you wouldn't get hit by something. He said, there are
Speaker 2: things out of the size of a VW bug, like
Speaker 2: the size of a basketball whizzen through there. And what's
Speaker 2: going on in this Every cell is two things. Number one,
Speaker 2: you are we mentioned that communication. All these chemicals are
Speaker 2: going through the cell to other cells to communicate information.
Speaker 2: Number two is repair. The cell is constantly repairing, taking
Speaker 2: things down and fixing things up. So every cell is
Speaker 2: in direct communication with the cells next to it, a
Speaker 2: local area head, and the So every cell is communicating
Speaker 2: on three levels. So if you think about it, every
Speaker 2: cell in your body is communicating and repairing. Well, what's
Speaker 2: the next biggest system up from that? It's an organ.
Speaker 2: Every organ in your body is communicating and repairing. Certain
Speaker 2: organs take like every seven years, you have what a
Speaker 2: different liver because it was repaired itself and replaced itself.
Speaker 2: So if you think about it, if if an organ
Speaker 2: doesn't communicate in repair, you're gonna end up with cancer
Speaker 2: and die. What's the next biggest system a person. We
Speaker 2: really need to communicate and repair. That's what we're designed
Speaker 2: to do. If a person doesn't communicate and repair, they're
Speaker 2: gonna end up with mental and emotional issues. The key
Speaker 2: to helping everybody mentally emotionally is improve the communication what
Speaker 2: you already said and repair. It's not to be perfect,
Speaker 2: it's how to fix the mistakes we make. That's the key. Well,
Speaker 2: that next level upcome, that's a community. If a community
Speaker 2: doesn't communicate and repair, you're gonna have injustices. And then
Speaker 2: the next level up from that is the world. And
Speaker 2: if the world doesn't learn how to communicate and repair,
Speaker 2: we're gonna have wars. I had a mentor. He was
Speaker 2: from India. He died during COVID, But when I presented
Speaker 2: this model to me, he goes, oh, John, John, there's
Speaker 2: one word system bigger than all of that. And he's like,
Speaker 2: if God, our job is to communicate and repair with God,
Speaker 2: that's ultimately what we should be trying to do. From
Speaker 2: the cell all the way up to God. It's all
Speaker 2: communication and repair and if you do that right, it
Speaker 2: results in the happiness and talks about for eternity. The
Speaker 2: key to happiness is communication and repair?
Speaker 4: Hey, then to that, so do we have a do
Speaker 4: we have a future thing plan that we could talk about?
Speaker 4: I love these conversations.
Speaker 2: Is it just.
Speaker 4: I'm very I'm very nerdy and enjoying like human body
Speaker 4: and bring type stuff. The brain is fascinating, It is
Speaker 4: absolutely fascinating.
Speaker 2: And maybe we can talk about the brain. Maybe we
Speaker 2: can talk about We're in the Bible. It explains how
Speaker 2: the brain works. And I I've done a lot of
Speaker 2: work on that. There are blatant spots in the Bible
Speaker 2: that explain how the brain works.
Speaker 4: Let's do it. So, gentlemen, thank you oh so much
Speaker 4: for joining me again. Always a pleasure. Love conversations, Love
Speaker 4: the interaction, Love the little nuggets of healing truth that
Speaker 4: are being exchanged on this show. And hopefully somebody can
Speaker 4: take that and learn communication and healing because that would
Speaker 4: be fantastic and communication with God. Amen to that. So,
Speaker 4: mister John, where can people find you at?
Speaker 2: And time flies thro these things, doesn't it? I can't
Speaker 2: believe that's wow? People can find me at flowsis dot
Speaker 2: com Like you said, however, I am now on Twitter
Speaker 2: or x so modeling God all one word, So come
Speaker 2: find me on x at modeling God.
Speaker 4: All right and how about.
Speaker 3: You ed Yeah? Similarly, Faced by Reason dot net is
Speaker 3: where you'll find all my material. I've just started a
Speaker 3: Patreon started that last month. For bonus content, you can
Speaker 3: go to patreon dot com slash Faith by Reason or
Speaker 3: one word there and if you join the patreon. In addition,
Speaker 3: you will get all my material before anyone else. I
Speaker 3: released on my Patreon first, so you get that, you
Speaker 3: get exclusive bonus content that's only going to be available there.
Speaker 3: Q and A's where I try to do a video
Speaker 3: once a week or answer questions. And if you want
Speaker 3: to level up to the next tier, you can be
Speaker 3: a part of a live Bible study that I do
Speaker 3: once a month take where we go through the entire
Speaker 3: Bible in one in one year from the supernatural point
Speaker 3: of view, so we really focus on what's going on
Speaker 3: behind the veil. Because most people think that the Bible
Speaker 3: is our story, that it's about humanity, and it's not.
Speaker 3: It's actually Jehovah's story, and that's what that's what it's called.
Speaker 3: It's called the Jehovah Story Book Club. We'd read the
Speaker 3: go through the Bible as if it's a novel. We
Speaker 3: haven't read before, and we take we get rid of
Speaker 3: all our preconceived notions and we just go through it
Speaker 3: that way because that's how you learn about someone by
Speaker 3: hearing their stories. And you want to learn about about
Speaker 3: Jehovah and how to walk with him, then you need
Speaker 3: to know his story, and that's what we do. And again,
Speaker 3: it's his story and he's in the in the spiritual realms.
Speaker 3: We go through it from the spiritual standpoint and there's
Speaker 3: tons of notes that you'll get and yeah, and once
Speaker 3: a month we go through it all and yeah, and
Speaker 3: I've got the response that I've gotten from it has
Speaker 3: been exceeded my expectations. So it made me happy. A
Speaker 3: lot of people for it. And the first the first
Speaker 3: session is this coming Sunday, so it'd be great if
Speaker 3: you're if your listeners are interested, sign up for it
Speaker 3: there on the Patreon, but it will be recorded, so
Speaker 3: if you can't make the live session, you'll be able
Speaker 3: to see get the recording there. But it's great if
Speaker 3: you can because then you get to ask you questions.
Speaker 3: So that also on x and uh Facebook as well,
Speaker 3: but and YouTube, but go faithbout reason dot net and
Speaker 3: Patreon dot com slash backslash Faith by reason is where
Speaker 3: I want people to go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ed. Ed covers the Bible in chronological order, so
Speaker 2: it is literally a story. It's amazing. I'd read the
Speaker 2: Bible fifty times and I still couldn't tell you where
Speaker 2: everything went. I went through the Bible chronologically as a story.
Speaker 2: I could sit here now and tell you our brains
Speaker 2: are made to learn everything as a story. And it's
Speaker 2: amazing how the Bible is a very compelling story if
Speaker 2: you read it chronologically.
Speaker 4: Right. And gentlemen, again, thank you so much for joining.
Speaker 4: Make sure you go check out both of these lovely gentlemen.
Speaker 4: They bring a lot, they have a lot to offer,
Speaker 4: and it is always a pleasure. So looking forward to
Speaker 4: the next episode for me, for John, and for Ed.
Speaker 4: We'll see you next time. Have a great day.