WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:06.879 Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow. 2 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:07.919 And I'm Catherine Haileco. 3 00:00:08.279 --> 00:00:11.759 Every Thursday, we're bringing you a library find, a pick 4 00:00:11.800 --> 00:00:14.960 from our archives, and a parenting or pop culture tidbit 5 00:00:15.160 --> 00:00:18.760 or two. Let's start with Catherine's library find of the. 6 00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:26.199 Week, continuing with our recurring theme of everybody seems to 7 00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:29.480 be reading this book at some point I will read it. 8 00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:37.719 Which doesn't sound like a glowing recommendation, right, But I 9 00:00:37.880 --> 00:00:42.280 read a book called West with Giraffes by Linda Rutledge. 10 00:00:43.159 --> 00:00:48.039 This is one that people inside and outside the library 11 00:00:48.119 --> 00:00:52.679 had told me to read, and it is a lucky 12 00:00:52.759 --> 00:00:55.880 day book, which our library has and a lot of 13 00:00:55.960 --> 00:01:00.119 libraries do, where it's like new and or popular items 14 00:01:00.159 --> 00:01:04.079 that are you can't put them on hold, and it's 15 00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:08.359 a short return schedule, so that the idea is that 16 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:11.680 when you walk into the library, there's a table of 17 00:01:11.799 --> 00:01:16.359 these items and it's your lucky day you can yes, exactly. 18 00:01:16.439 --> 00:01:20.439 So anyway, incredible true story of two giraffes. 19 00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:26.519 Yes, so it's a novel. It's a fictionalized story of 20 00:01:27.280 --> 00:01:32.000 these two giraffes that came you know, don't know how 21 00:01:32.040 --> 00:01:36.400 they were acquired we handwave over that part. But they 22 00:01:36.560 --> 00:01:40.120 arrived in the United States on a boat that survived 23 00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:45.359 hurricane on a ship, i should say, and then they 24 00:01:45.519 --> 00:01:50.480 were transported over land to San Diego to the San Diego. 25 00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:54.799 Zoo, which so this is present day ish, No, this. 26 00:01:54.640 --> 00:02:02.400 Is in the let's say the thirties, like okay, yeah, 27 00:02:02.439 --> 00:02:04.439 pre World War two, Okay, Like there. 28 00:02:04.400 --> 00:02:06.920 Was a zoo in San Diego then, yeah. 29 00:02:06.519 --> 00:02:09.000 I think it was fairly new. But also part of 30 00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:12.360 the story is that there was a woman running it, 31 00:02:13.479 --> 00:02:17.319 oh Ma, the zoo lady. She was referred to as 32 00:02:18.439 --> 00:02:25.680 Belle bal Benchley. So, you know, I always enjoy historical fiction, 33 00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:29.479 and this one. So it's the story of this young 34 00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:33.759 like teenager he's like seventeen, I think he turns eighteen 35 00:02:33.840 --> 00:02:38.599 during the course of the book, who has like left Oklahoma, 36 00:02:39.159 --> 00:02:42.599 you know, dust Bowl times, and his parents have died. 37 00:02:42.759 --> 00:02:46.879 He sort of ends up on the East Coast somewhere 38 00:02:47.960 --> 00:02:51.319 working for his cousin. But you know, it's a it's 39 00:02:51.400 --> 00:02:55.280 not a good situation, and he just kind of like 40 00:02:55.960 --> 00:02:59.719 falls into being obsessed with these giraffes and ends up, 41 00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:06.639 through reasons and circumstances, driving this sort of modified box 42 00:03:06.719 --> 00:03:09.960 car across the country with these two giraffes in it. 43 00:03:10.560 --> 00:03:11.199 Uh huh. 44 00:03:11.240 --> 00:03:15.439 And it's just it's told from his perspective as a 45 00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:20.479 one hundred and five year old man recalling the story. 46 00:03:22.199 --> 00:03:26.120 So you know this really happened in terms of these giraffes, 47 00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:31.719 really did travel across country. I don't believe you know this, 48 00:03:31.719 --> 00:03:35.599 this character was necessarily the one that drove them. 49 00:03:36.159 --> 00:03:37.360 What was the name of the character. 50 00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:42.599 His name is Woody. His full name is Woodrow Wilson 51 00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:45.960 Nickel So Woody nickel Wite a name. 52 00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:48.719 Yes that sounds like a name from the Gilded Age. 53 00:03:49.080 --> 00:03:54.000 Yes, yes, so so. Yeah. I enjoyed it. I usually 54 00:03:54.199 --> 00:03:57.719 like historical fiction. It took me a little bit of 55 00:03:57.800 --> 00:04:00.520 time to get into it, I would say. And there's 56 00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:04.840 a lot of like hinting, you know, giving dropping these 57 00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:09.240 these little hints about what really happened back in Oklahoma 58 00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:13.360 before he left, and then who is it that he's 59 00:04:13.400 --> 00:04:17.319 telling this story to. And there's some little bits of 60 00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:21.920 the present day of you know, him and the rest 61 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:25.480 home and people like okay, honey, let's get you back 62 00:04:25.519 --> 00:04:28.399 to bed, you know situations, and he's like, I gotta 63 00:04:28.439 --> 00:04:32.399 finish this. I'm one hundred years old. He's like, I'm 64 00:04:32.439 --> 00:04:36.040 trying to write this down, leave me alone. 65 00:04:36.879 --> 00:04:38.800 So uh so, yeah. 66 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:42.680 Interesting, it's h Yeah, I don't believe. I think I 67 00:04:42.720 --> 00:04:45.839 looked for an audiobook and did not find one, so. 68 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:46.680 Oh my gosh. 69 00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:48.720 I know, I don't know how that happens. 70 00:04:48.879 --> 00:04:51.480 Somebody could have had some fun narrating that to the 71 00:04:52.360 --> 00:04:54.319 Do we get the giraffe's point of view on anything 72 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:57.680 or it's just all no interacting with giraffes? 73 00:04:57.800 --> 00:05:01.360 Yeah, I mean we get we we see the giraffes 74 00:05:01.759 --> 00:05:07.079 behavior and we we can imply some infer some things 75 00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:11.120 from that, but we don't get you know, the actual 76 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:13.639 pov of the of the giraffes. 77 00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:18.839 Well, I'll just add because I have I am familiar 78 00:05:18.920 --> 00:05:21.519 with the San Diego Zoo, having grown up in California, 79 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:25.879 southern California, but I did not know its history. It has. 80 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:30.079 It started in nineteen sixteen with a collection of animals 81 00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:35.279 left over from the nineteen fifteen Panama California exposition. So 82 00:05:36.519 --> 00:05:39.879 a pioneer in the concept of open air cageless exhibits 83 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:43.240 that we create natural animal habit habitats. I'm sure the 84 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:47.279 giraffes were happy about that. They wouldn't have been wanted 85 00:05:47.279 --> 00:05:50.600 to be in cages. I'd have to be a very 86 00:05:50.600 --> 00:05:55.399 total cage. So I did not know that. That's interesting. 87 00:05:56.600 --> 00:05:58.399 I kind of now I want to hear more about 88 00:05:58.800 --> 00:06:00.560 the zoo Lady Bell. 89 00:06:00.759 --> 00:06:05.560 Yeah, okay, well that sounds interesting. Grab it at your library. 90 00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:07.079 Even though it might be in. 91 00:06:07.079 --> 00:06:10.639 Short, it might be lucky today it's it's a couple 92 00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:13.839 of years old, so it may be getting easier to find. 93 00:06:14.279 --> 00:06:17.879 There's a kindle edition, I see, yes, but no audiobook. 94 00:06:18.040 --> 00:06:22.800 That is weird. I'm going to look on audible right now. Well, 95 00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:26.959 we don't speak. Let's see. When's it West with Giraffes. 96 00:06:28.519 --> 00:06:30.959 I'm always surprised when there's like a book that's not 97 00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:32.959 on audible, because there seem to be so many, and 98 00:06:33.079 --> 00:06:37.959 some of them seem so not like who cares about this? 99 00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:41.720 But I guess it's part of the West with Giraffes. 100 00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:42.519 It is on audible. 101 00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:45.439 It is okay, it's just not I looked for it. 102 00:06:45.480 --> 00:06:52.519 Operated by Danny Campbell. Okay, so there you go. I 103 00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:55.600 can get it on a audiobook if you are too 104 00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:58.160 lazy to read with your eyeballs, or your eyeballs are 105 00:06:58.199 --> 00:07:02.879 not eyeballs. Don't cooperate as in my case. Yes, my 106 00:07:02.959 --> 00:07:06.600 eyeballs enjoy being closed while I listen to stuff with 107 00:07:06.639 --> 00:07:11.879 my ear holes. I do miss. I do miss reading 108 00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:14.120 words that I can then go back and look at 109 00:07:14.199 --> 00:07:18.879 easily without having to rewind to the place where it was, 110 00:07:19.639 --> 00:07:23.360 so that it is a different experience. Yes, moving on 111 00:07:23.399 --> 00:07:26.240 to my random recommendation, I have a book for a 112 00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:31.680 random recommendation this week, and it's one in which the narration, 113 00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:36.920 the work of the narrator really added to the experience. 114 00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:40.439 The book I listened. 115 00:07:40.160 --> 00:07:41.600 To was. 116 00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:46.000 Life's Work by David Milch. I have mentioned that before. 117 00:07:46.120 --> 00:07:48.079 I mentioned that I was in the progress of reading it. 118 00:07:48.439 --> 00:07:52.040 I have finally finished reading it, and I enjoyed it 119 00:07:52.199 --> 00:07:54.360 very much. Let me find the name of the narrator. 120 00:07:55.199 --> 00:08:03.120 The the recording started with I think the pro the introduction, 121 00:08:03.160 --> 00:08:06.519 it was probably a prologue, was actually read by David Milch, 122 00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:11.000 who has Alzheimer's and is fading, and you could hear 123 00:08:11.560 --> 00:08:14.439 I mean, there's no way he could narrate himself. He's 124 00:08:14.519 --> 00:08:19.519 obviously having a very hard time. But the narrator, I think, 125 00:08:19.600 --> 00:08:22.920 did a really good job of sounding enough like him 126 00:08:23.120 --> 00:08:25.560 that you felt like it was him. Reading it. It 127 00:08:25.639 --> 00:08:27.120 was the same as a book I read a while 128 00:08:27.160 --> 00:08:30.279 ago and talked about here by Judy Dench, where Judy 129 00:08:30.399 --> 00:08:34.240 Dench read the prologu or whatever that part of the 130 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:38.200 book was. And then a younger person took over did 131 00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:43.480 an incredible job of sounding like her, so that throughout 132 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:46.840 the experience was this is this person reading about their life. 133 00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:50.440 And then you stop and you realize, no, wait, yeah, 134 00:08:50.480 --> 00:08:53.519 this is a very good actress imitating that person. And 135 00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:56.320 I'm going to find the name of the person who 136 00:08:56.399 --> 00:09:00.360 narrated the Milch book because he did a very good job. 137 00:09:00.519 --> 00:09:03.320 Sounded a little bit like Mark Marrin, but I think 138 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:10.399 Milch that had a milchiness to him voice that time. 139 00:09:10.440 --> 00:09:15.000 I felt like it was like it was him, and 140 00:09:15.399 --> 00:09:19.919 just very read the things, very in the spirit with 141 00:09:19.960 --> 00:09:23.919 which they were written in a way that was meaningful. 142 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:27.200 I thought, let me just get that up so I 143 00:09:27.200 --> 00:09:31.840 can because I want to credit this dude. Michael Harney 144 00:09:32.919 --> 00:09:35.080 is the one who did the most of the narration. 145 00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:38.960 And I just read a review of the book that 146 00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:41.919 I agree with, which said it's less about and then 147 00:09:41.960 --> 00:09:44.080 I did this show and here are some juicy details 148 00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:45.840 about this show. And then I wrote that show, and 149 00:09:45.879 --> 00:09:48.120 here are some juicy details about that show. It was 150 00:09:48.159 --> 00:09:54.200 more about the creative process, about the how you know, 151 00:09:54.240 --> 00:09:58.440 a little bit of the mechanics of television writing, and 152 00:10:00.519 --> 00:10:05.000 a lot about his demons and the things he did 153 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:11.919 in his life. That that if you've watched John from Cincinnati, 154 00:10:11.960 --> 00:10:13.919 which is my favorite one of his things, me and 155 00:10:13.960 --> 00:10:18.559 a couple of other people, Yeah, the themes are there. 156 00:10:18.759 --> 00:10:19.039 Yeah. 157 00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:25.320 So I think he's best known probably for Deadwood and 158 00:10:25.519 --> 00:10:30.360 YPD Blue. Yeah, he's one of his last things was Luck, 159 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:33.159 which was about horse racing and some horses died and 160 00:10:33.200 --> 00:10:36.120 so I got shut down. But so he talks about 161 00:10:36.399 --> 00:10:41.320 each of the shows he's done some but it's more 162 00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:44.120 about this is what was going on in his life, 163 00:10:44.279 --> 00:10:47.919 and this is how he came to do this particular show. 164 00:10:47.960 --> 00:10:51.120 And so you get a lot of the backstage negotiations 165 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:54.919 with networks, You get a lot of the sort of 166 00:10:56.039 --> 00:10:58.039 what it does to you to have this sort of 167 00:10:58.759 --> 00:11:04.759 creative job. And you know, he had problems with gambling, 168 00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:10.320 he had problems with substances and some mental health issues. 169 00:11:10.559 --> 00:11:16.399 So he's a fascinating person. Channeled these problems in his 170 00:11:16.440 --> 00:11:20.799 life into amazing art, and that's I was very interested 171 00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:22.799 to hear about it. I was more interested to hear 172 00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:25.519 about his life than I was about Oh and then 173 00:11:25.559 --> 00:11:29.080 David Carusa did this, so it was good. I would 174 00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:32.399 recommend it, especially for anybody who's in you know, has 175 00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:36.039 been in creative fields in their life, and anybody who's 176 00:11:36.159 --> 00:11:39.480 enjoyed the art that this man has made, and also 177 00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:43.320 anybody who just really enjoys a well read audio. The 178 00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:46.600 reading is very, very good. It started out I was like, oh, 179 00:11:46.720 --> 00:11:48.320 is he just trying to do an invitation? But he 180 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:51.279 just as it went through, I just my brain completely 181 00:11:51.320 --> 00:11:56.759 accepted that this was from reading about just the way 182 00:11:56.799 --> 00:11:59.159 he did the vocal part of it. Just very impressive. 183 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:07.759 Good book, very highly recommended. Interesting, interesting individual, well written book, 184 00:12:08.519 --> 00:12:13.639 well done, narration, and worth immersing oneself in, especially if 185 00:12:13.679 --> 00:12:16.080 you have one of his properties that you are particularly 186 00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:20.840 passionate about. Yeah, you're not going to get behind the 187 00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:25.159 scenes extravaganza on it, but you will have some insight 188 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:28.200 as to how it came to be and what some 189 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:31.360 of the experiences of the people involved with it were. 190 00:12:32.519 --> 00:12:35.200 So my next book that I am moving on to 191 00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:39.799 is actually currently as we speak, the number one number 192 00:12:39.799 --> 00:12:43.120 one on the New York Times Nonfiction bestseller list, which 193 00:12:43.159 --> 00:12:46.240 is Butler by Selena Zito. I will not be talking 194 00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:48.639 about it on this podcast because we don't talk about politics, 195 00:12:48.679 --> 00:12:51.879 but so far I'm in it a little bit. And 196 00:12:52.600 --> 00:12:54.799 if you think it was this is the sort of 197 00:12:54.840 --> 00:12:58.600 thing you will like, you will like it. It's interesting, 198 00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:05.679 it's interesting. I've liked her, she wrote a book. Her 199 00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:10.159 previous book, written with Brad Todd, Who's a Polster, is 200 00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:12.679 The Great Revolt, and I enjoyed reading that too, So 201 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:14.799 I've been kind of interested in her since then and 202 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:19.200 interested in this book, and apparently lots of other people 203 00:13:19.200 --> 00:13:22.399 are too. But possibly the less said about the subject 204 00:13:22.440 --> 00:13:26.720 matter the better. So all right, if that intrigues you, 205 00:13:26.759 --> 00:13:28.759 go look it up and then you will either either 206 00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:29.960 be interested or mad at me. 207 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:35.039 Is that an iffy etiquette question? Do I recommend this book? 208 00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:37.200 That is an iff He had a quick question. How 209 00:13:37.240 --> 00:13:39.480 does one recommend a book without saying, oh, by the way, 210 00:13:39.480 --> 00:13:41.159 it's about something that will make half of the people 211 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:46.679 listening to this head explodes. So it is not in 212 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:49.120 fact about a butler and the guilded Age, but. 213 00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:55.919 That's going back to the Gilded Age and the audiobook 214 00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:58.919 narration the one who played I think I've talked about 215 00:13:58.919 --> 00:14:01.759 this before, but the the one who plays the butler 216 00:14:01.840 --> 00:14:07.840 on the Van Ryan side. Yeah one, I'm ninety nine 217 00:14:07.879 --> 00:14:12.000 percent short. Narrated an audiobook that I listened to with 218 00:14:12.080 --> 00:14:13.039 my son. 219 00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:15.679 Oh, like he would be very good. 220 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:19.279 Years and years ago. Like I can't remember the name 221 00:14:19.320 --> 00:14:21.279 of the book. It has something to do with a lion. 222 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:24.679 Oh, I can see that, and yeah, have you looked 223 00:14:24.759 --> 00:14:27.440 up his name? And audio bade me to like figure 224 00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:31.600 that out. What is the actor's name? Let's i'll find out, 225 00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:36.879 Simon Simon Jones. 226 00:14:38.519 --> 00:14:44.600 I wonder if he do. They give you audio books in. 227 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:48.279 Audiobooks narrated by Simon Jones. Okay, there's ninety five results. 228 00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:52.080 Wow. Then I guess he was the. 229 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:56.159 One pass on the uh pasting this into the script. 230 00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:02.279 Okay, oh, lion boy. There it is lion boy. 231 00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:06.879 Okay. Yeah, see look at that. 232 00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:10.200 I still hear. I mean, it's amazing, like it was 233 00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:14.600 years for sure, And you know it's amazing that you 234 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:20.000 can recognize a person's voice. Yeah at that from that 235 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:20.919 long ago. 236 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:22.279 Its a good voice. Now he has a. 237 00:15:22.279 --> 00:15:26.559 Distinctive yes, So anyway, we should move on. 238 00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:31.720 Anyway, moving on What do we have from the archive 239 00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:32.240 this week? 240 00:15:32.559 --> 00:15:36.840 Yes, we are. We have an episode from twenty nineteen 241 00:15:36.879 --> 00:15:40.879 and when we were talking about social interactions and if 242 00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:45.159 the etiquette. You know, what have we taught our kids? 243 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:47.080 What have we failed to teach our kids? 244 00:15:47.399 --> 00:15:47.639 Now? 245 00:15:48.120 --> 00:15:53.080 All of that? Yikes? And I feel a little bit 246 00:15:53.240 --> 00:15:57.480 of this right now because my my adult child is 247 00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:00.000 living with her boyfriend's family. 248 00:16:00.600 --> 00:16:04.080 And yeah, you know, there's lots of room for like, 249 00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:07.960 oh did I did I not tell you not to 250 00:16:08.039 --> 00:16:08.759 do this or that? 251 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:13.240 Or you know, I mean I feel that she. I 252 00:16:13.320 --> 00:16:16.960 do hope that she. I mean I don't. It's not 253 00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:22.320 something I worry about constantly, but it's still like oh 254 00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:23.120 oh no. 255 00:16:23.240 --> 00:16:27.799 Like yeah, yeah, oh I would be worried about that too, absolutely. 256 00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:33.720 And also I would be judging if somebody else's child 257 00:16:33.720 --> 00:16:36.200 did not do those things. So your fears are well 258 00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:42.440 found me, right right, Yeah, it's your mother never taught 259 00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:48.159 her that. Ever, I would totally be blaming the mom. 260 00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:49.879 I'm not the kid, oh yeah, for sure. 261 00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:52.440 Yeah, that's why it's not a dad. 262 00:16:53.039 --> 00:16:56.360 No, No, it's always the mom. 263 00:16:56.679 --> 00:17:01.360 Yeah. It's hard to know what's going to be important, 264 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:06.240 and when you have kids who won't necessarily absorb information. 265 00:17:07.319 --> 00:17:09.519 What do you need to make a big deal about? 266 00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:12.200 And then when you make a big deal about it, 267 00:17:12.359 --> 00:17:14.440 then they make a big deal about it when it's 268 00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:19.480 there's many points of etiquette that are supposed to be subtle. Yes, yes, 269 00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:23.559 but you have to know them, so to get the 270 00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:26.079 kids to know them, you have to be not subtle. 271 00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:30.480 But then they are not subtle, and then you look 272 00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:35.839 stupid either way. Regardless of what happens, mom looks bad. 273 00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:39.200 Of course, nobody ever blames the kid. Where are the parents? 274 00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:44.640 Why didn't their mother tell them? So it's like it's 275 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:47.240 it's hard to know what to make a big deal 276 00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:51.559 about and what to just hope they're never in a 277 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:53.119 situation where. 278 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:58.119 They have right and things change like you. 279 00:17:58.119 --> 00:18:02.160 Know, yeah, yeah, yeah. 280 00:18:01.480 --> 00:18:08.359 Probably many things that you know weren't you know, they 281 00:18:08.440 --> 00:18:12.240 just change over time, and you know, are you You 282 00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:16.599 can't flash forward like you're on loss figure it out? 283 00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:21.319 You can flash back though, and relive the time you 284 00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:23.960 did the wrong thing over and over again. 285 00:18:24.920 --> 00:18:26.200 That is true. 286 00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:29.279 Somebody, please hit me in the head with the baseball 287 00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:31.039 fan so I can go someplace else. 288 00:18:31.079 --> 00:18:34.680 Now, let me give me, as he says, give me 289 00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:35.680 another chance. 290 00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:42.559 Yeah, I feel like this is a particularly treacherous time 291 00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:46.279 because there are a lot of different people expecting a 292 00:18:46.279 --> 00:18:51.880 lot of different things. And I live in fear of 293 00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:56.160 one of my kids, both of whom work in jobs 294 00:18:56.240 --> 00:19:00.000 where they interact with the public, one of my kids 295 00:19:00.359 --> 00:19:04.400 calling somebody sir who does not consider themselves a sir 296 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:09.200 or ma'am. Likewise, I'm constantly worried about one of them 297 00:19:09.319 --> 00:19:12.799 ending up splashed across social media as this horrible person 298 00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:16.559 who called me the wrong thing. And I don't know 299 00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:21.000 how to tell them not to do that. What do 300 00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:30.799 we because because there isn't a gender, yeah, there's there's 301 00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:36.680 not a neutral term of respect. And for many many people, 302 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:39.559 calling them mam or sir would be a positive thing. 303 00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:43.759 People like that, it's respectful. But for the wrong person, 304 00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:47.559 it's going to be a disaster. So I can't tell 305 00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:49.000 them not to do it. I can't tell them to 306 00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:51.519 do it. I can't say, please, ask to see their 307 00:19:51.599 --> 00:19:53.920 driver's license and see what gender they have put down 308 00:19:54.279 --> 00:19:56.799 and then call them by that. You know, it's just like, 309 00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:03.000 how do you how do you navigate that? That's a 310 00:20:03.160 --> 00:20:06.640 that's a big if the etiquette issue at the moment, Yeah, 311 00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:09.599 at least if you're if your kids are going to 312 00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:13.200 be interacting with the general public and people they don't 313 00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:16.720 know and just trying to get through a work day. 314 00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:20.319 Here are your fries individual. 315 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:25.599 Right insert respectful title here exactly. 316 00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:30.960 Yeah, I'll put those in your card for you person. 317 00:20:31.799 --> 00:20:34.519 Right, and then you just like, like, you just leave 318 00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:36.359 it out, and then that doesn't seem right. 319 00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:38.720 Yeah, and then the people who expect to hear it 320 00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:42.359 will be mad at you. Right, So you're just kind 321 00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:43.319 of screwed no matter what. 322 00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:46.599 Yeah, you just they're the age of your mother. 323 00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:53.720 You can probably go with that's right. If it's because 324 00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:57.000 younger people don't don't want to be man or don't 325 00:20:57.000 --> 00:20:59.759 want to be mam, I mean maybe sir, they don't 326 00:20:59.799 --> 00:21:04.079 care about But yeah, lady and dude, do we call 327 00:21:04.119 --> 00:21:06.359 them bro? 328 00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:07.400 Let's just do bro? 329 00:21:07.640 --> 00:21:12.160 Bro? Yeah, bruh you but don't but don't call the 330 00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:15.000 older guy brou because they they will complain to your manager. 331 00:21:17.680 --> 00:21:19.920 I just I feel like the only answer to this 332 00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:26.400 is to get them out of public facing jobs. Well, 333 00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:30.839 this is just too complicated. No more, No more fast 334 00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:35.200 food and parking lot work for you, right, I you know, 335 00:21:35.240 --> 00:21:37.599 maybe there'll be a simpler time coming up, but right 336 00:21:37.640 --> 00:21:43.519 now it's too fraud. Just home. Yeah, we'll sign we'll 337 00:21:43.559 --> 00:21:48.480 sign you up for you know, unemployment. It'll be fine, 338 00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:53.480 all right, Ay, yeah, yeah, I do. You know. One 339 00:21:53.480 --> 00:21:55.599 of the things that was an if the etiquette issue 340 00:21:55.640 --> 00:21:57.160 for me and I might have mentioned this the last 341 00:21:57.200 --> 00:22:01.920 time we talked about it is I grew up in California, 342 00:22:01.960 --> 00:22:05.079 where I don't think that we have, at least in 343 00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:07.799 the circles, in the Protestant circles I was running in. 344 00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:13.119 I don't think we have the whole death structure they 345 00:22:13.160 --> 00:22:18.720 have here in Italian New Jersey circles, which is like 346 00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:22.160 a visitation here, then another visitation, then a third visitation, 347 00:22:22.279 --> 00:22:24.160 and then everybody goes to the cemetery, and then we 348 00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:27.200 bury the person, and then we have a party. There's 349 00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:31.000 a lot. I think we just had a church in California. 350 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:32.880 I think we just had a church service and a burial, 351 00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:36.359 which not everybody went to. I think that's all there was. 352 00:22:36.519 --> 00:22:38.079 I could be wrong, and not a lot of people 353 00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:42.119 I knew died when I was young, so whereas here. 354 00:22:43.400 --> 00:22:45.759 I mean, my son is really good at wakes. That 355 00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:47.680 is something he has learned. He has been to enough 356 00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:51.359 wakes that he knows what you say, sorry for your loss, 357 00:22:51.559 --> 00:22:56.640 and you know, so I'm always feeling like I'm doing 358 00:22:56.680 --> 00:23:00.160 the wrong thing, Like which one are we supposed to 359 00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:01.799 go to? Which one of these things that were supposed 360 00:23:01.799 --> 00:23:02.960 to go to? Do we go to the other thing 361 00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:04.119 as well? Where? 362 00:23:05.759 --> 00:23:10.000 Which really totally depends on how you're connected to that person. 363 00:23:10.200 --> 00:23:14.799 Huh yeah, I mean we recently had somebody passed away 364 00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:16.920 in my husband's family. Well it's always my husband's family 365 00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:20.440 because I have no family here, but well they're my 366 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:23.480 family as well. But anyway, is somebody that I knew 367 00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:26.200 and that wesed went to his house many times and 368 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:27.960 he and his wife were always very kind to me, 369 00:23:28.200 --> 00:23:30.519 but we hadn't seen in a long time. And there 370 00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:33.799 was like three visitations, like I said, three visitations a 371 00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:38.519 burial and one assumes a party afterwards. And I was like, 372 00:23:38.759 --> 00:23:41.000 do we go which one of these things do we 373 00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:43.160 go to? Should we go to the burial, should we 374 00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:45.440 go to the wake? Should we go? What do we go? 375 00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:47.720 And he was like trying to Hamminy and huying too, 376 00:23:47.799 --> 00:23:50.240 and you know, do we wear a suit? Do we wear? 377 00:23:50.279 --> 00:23:54.960 What do you wear? And when his like when his 378 00:23:55.200 --> 00:24:00.079 parents were alive. They drove this. We're going, yess that 379 00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:02.440 this is what we're doing. Please come pick us up 380 00:24:02.519 --> 00:24:05.000 or whatever. But now that it's just us, I mean, 381 00:24:05.079 --> 00:24:07.839 his brother and sister came from Pennsylvania and they went 382 00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:10.680 to one. His sister came from New York from one 383 00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:12.599 and they went so they went to the same one, 384 00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:14.799 and then we went to a different one. And then 385 00:24:14.839 --> 00:24:16.279 I was thinking we were going to go to the 386 00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:18.759 funeral the next day, but he decided not to. And 387 00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:23.079 it's like it's this whole I don't want to offend anybody, right, 388 00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:25.640 And then you go there and you're just you don't 389 00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:28.400 really know anybody, and you have conversation with a couple 390 00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:30.079 of people you do, and then you're just sitting there. 391 00:24:30.119 --> 00:24:31.440 How long do we sit here? Do we sit here 392 00:24:31.480 --> 00:24:34.400 for the whole time? Can we leave early? Where's the signing? 393 00:24:34.440 --> 00:24:36.000 You got to sign in? Where's the signing? 394 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:38.720 Let's let everyone know we were here for sure. 395 00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:41.960 Like there's I feel like there's an etiquette that I 396 00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:44.079 don't know. And then I'm always going to do something 397 00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:45.759 and people are gonna look at me like what are 398 00:24:45.799 --> 00:24:46.119 you doing? 399 00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:50.720 Right? Yeah, that's that's a tough one for sure. 400 00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:55.440 Yeah, it's I guess different things done do get done 401 00:24:55.480 --> 00:24:57.400