WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.200 --> 00:00:05.080 This is a podcast from WOOR. It is The Jesse 2 00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:09.160 Kelly Show. Another hour of The Jesse Kelly Show on 3 00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:13.560 a Wednesday, a Hoday, a day where we will eventually 4 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:16.440 get back to making fun of Doug m Hoff. We 5 00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:20.719 are going to continue to pray for Florida as Hurricane 6 00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:23.879 Milton bears down on them, so please keep Florida in 7 00:00:23.960 --> 00:00:27.120 your prayers. We are going to read emails. We're going 8 00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:29.920 to do many things still on the world famous Jesse 9 00:00:30.039 --> 00:00:31.879 Kelly Show, but we're not doing any of those things 10 00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:38.560 right now. You ever thought about gouging out somebody's eye? What, Chris? 11 00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:42.240 It's part of this story we're about to tell is 12 00:00:42.280 --> 00:00:45.640 an eye gouging thing. I can't stop thinking about it. 13 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:47.439 It was one of the parts of the Bible that 14 00:00:47.520 --> 00:00:49.280 used to fascinate me when I was a kid, because 15 00:00:49.320 --> 00:00:51.119 I was a big Samson fan, because you know, he 16 00:00:51.159 --> 00:00:53.960 and I have a lot in common. But Samson, when 17 00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:57.479 they Philistines got him, they gouged out his eyes or 18 00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:59.159 burnt out his eyes. I don't know. I heard it 19 00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:00.799 a couple different ways, but I will tell you that 20 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:03.159 occupied a lot of my thinking when I was a child. 21 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:07.319 Why Chris, Because it's sick and it's gruesome, and I 22 00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:08.799 want to know how they did it, and I want 23 00:01:08.799 --> 00:01:10.439 to know how bad it hurt, and I want to 24 00:01:10.480 --> 00:01:12.159 do it to you. So no, I'm just kidding, but 25 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:14.480 gouging out people's eyes is terrible, and it's part of 26 00:01:14.519 --> 00:01:21.680 our story. We talk about politics, the degradation of our politics. 27 00:01:21.719 --> 00:01:24.519 We look at all the idiots and losers who run 28 00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:28.599 our country now and I'm not going to lie and 29 00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:31.480 say it's good, but I think every now and then 30 00:01:31.480 --> 00:01:36.280 maybe some perspective on real ugliness at the highest levels 31 00:01:36.280 --> 00:01:39.040 of power, how ugly it can get. You want to 32 00:01:39.079 --> 00:01:41.879 talk a little bit about Nero, You want to talk 33 00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:47.239 about Nero and branding. To stay with me here, Nero. 34 00:01:47.560 --> 00:01:51.000 I know you know who Nero was. You're probably going 35 00:01:51.079 --> 00:01:52.680 to learn a couple of things here, but I know 36 00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:56.319 you know who Nero was. He was a Roman emperor, 37 00:01:57.239 --> 00:02:03.280 remember the Roman Empire. It's not how Rome began. Rome 38 00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:08.120 is mostly known today by people for its emperors, the 39 00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:12.120 Neros and Caligulas, and everyone knows who Julius Caesar is 40 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:14.759 and those types. Even if you don't know anything about 41 00:02:14.759 --> 00:02:17.479 any of these people, that's what you know about. But 42 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:23.159 Rome was originally a republic run by the Senate, and 43 00:02:23.199 --> 00:02:26.120 then through a long list of things that we've discussed 44 00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:29.360 many times on the show, Rome ended up well where 45 00:02:29.400 --> 00:02:32.120 we're going to be here in the time of Nero. 46 00:02:33.439 --> 00:02:38.319 Rome ended up being run by one man, an emperor. Now, 47 00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:42.000 who is Nero? Where'd all this stuff come from? Okay, 48 00:02:42.039 --> 00:02:44.719 so let's do just a little bit of background on Nero. 49 00:02:45.800 --> 00:02:48.759 Something you know about Nero? I'm going to shoot a 50 00:02:48.759 --> 00:02:52.680 hole in today, should I should let you know right now? Yes? 51 00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:55.400 He was very very bad human being with there are 52 00:02:55.400 --> 00:02:58.319 some things about Nero that have been inaccurate anyway, So 53 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:00.960 who was what's going on the time? This is about 54 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:04.120 the time of Jesus. It's after the time of Jesus, 55 00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:06.439 but I don't like to get specifics in nerd out 56 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:09.280 on the dates. It's after fifty years after the time 57 00:03:09.319 --> 00:03:11.719 of Jesus. Okay, so that's roughly where we're at here. 58 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:16.240 Jesus is gone, Chris's people killed him. It's over. Now 59 00:03:16.280 --> 00:03:19.599 we're in Rome, and there's another part of Rome. Honestly, 60 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:22.840 Chris jokes aside, there's another part of Rome. You should 61 00:03:22.919 --> 00:03:27.599 understand the religious aspect of it. This is going to 62 00:03:27.639 --> 00:03:30.680 come into play in Nero's life later on. Anyone who 63 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:32.560 knows the history will understand a little bit of why. 64 00:03:32.599 --> 00:03:36.759 But the religious aspect of it. First Rome, you know 65 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:39.240 what kind of religion they had, or at least I 66 00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:41.360 think you probably know what kind of religion they had. 67 00:03:41.680 --> 00:03:44.400 They had very similar to the Greeks. There's a god 68 00:03:44.439 --> 00:03:45.960 of the sun, and a god of war and a 69 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:48.360 god of love, and you need a temple for this 70 00:03:48.400 --> 00:03:50.319 guy and a temple for this guy. So it's one 71 00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:54.199 of those types of places. And we've had this talk 72 00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:59.080 before on the show, because it was a false religion 73 00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:04.919 was really its roots were created by the state to 74 00:04:05.159 --> 00:04:09.039 serve the state. That's a great way to test your 75 00:04:09.080 --> 00:04:12.639 religious beliefs. Do they serve the state? Do they serve 76 00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:17.160 the needs of the people in power? Miraculously, these societies 77 00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:20.560 so often had religions that really helped out the guys 78 00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:22.399 who were in charge, right, So it's a great way 79 00:04:22.439 --> 00:04:25.879 to test your belief system. Well, that was Rome's belief system, 80 00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:29.720 you know, all the different all that crap. Well, then 81 00:04:29.759 --> 00:04:35.600 it comes to Jews in Christians Jews and Christians in 82 00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:39.959 Rome at this period of time, the Jews were a 83 00:04:39.959 --> 00:04:44.319 little bit more accepted, but not very much at all, 84 00:04:44.600 --> 00:04:49.360 for the exact same reason Jews in Christians, their belief system, 85 00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:53.000 their God, you know, the same God, Yahweh. He is 86 00:04:53.160 --> 00:05:01.560 outside of and above the Roman system. Initially, for the 87 00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:06.879 longest time Jews and Christians were persecuted in Rome. It 88 00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:09.560 wasn't specifically that they had an act to grind with 89 00:05:09.639 --> 00:05:13.160 Chris or me or Yahweh himself. They had an ax 90 00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:15.720 to grind with any kind of a belief system that 91 00:05:15.879 --> 00:05:20.600 was above the Roman system, above and beyond the Roman emperor. 92 00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:24.759 You know, if you pin Chris down in the alleyway 93 00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:27.480 and you say, hey, you could choose Yahweh or Nero. 94 00:05:27.759 --> 00:05:30.120 They need here, They need him to say nero or 95 00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:33.040 that's a problem. Okay, you understand. So the Jews and 96 00:05:33.079 --> 00:05:38.079 the Christians were second class citizens is probably the most 97 00:05:38.120 --> 00:05:41.000 simplistic way I can put it at this time. But 98 00:05:41.879 --> 00:05:44.959 separate is really what they were. This will come, This 99 00:05:45.399 --> 00:05:47.720 is going to come into play in a little while. Separate, 100 00:05:48.759 --> 00:05:51.839 separate meaning we have this whole Roman society, we have 101 00:05:51.879 --> 00:05:54.839 this whole Roman belief system. But then you have the 102 00:05:54.920 --> 00:05:59.000 Jews or the Christians. They live around each other, they 103 00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:02.720 prefer to work around each other. We know their God. 104 00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:07.920 They consider him above Nero, above the Senate, above Rome. 105 00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:12.600 They had that. Okay, So remember they're not only fairly 106 00:06:12.839 --> 00:06:15.519 new as far as being introduced to the Romans go. 107 00:06:16.040 --> 00:06:19.800 They've set themselves apart from the Roman system. That was 108 00:06:19.839 --> 00:06:23.759 a problem. Right now, Back to the Nero thing. Nero 109 00:06:24.680 --> 00:06:29.000 was part of the Julius Caesar line. It's known as 110 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:32.800 the Julio Claudian dynasty. Don't worry about that. That's nerding 111 00:06:32.839 --> 00:06:35.199 out on details. History nerds will nerd out on that. 112 00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:37.800 Don't worry about that. He was. He was part of 113 00:06:37.839 --> 00:06:42.439 the line of emperors. Back to Caesar Augustus. Who's Caesar 114 00:06:42.439 --> 00:06:46.240 Augustus again, don't worry about memorizing all this. Caesar Augustus 115 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:49.959 was the one who came after Julius Caesar, who actually 116 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:53.120 did take over as the emperor and lived for so 117 00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:57.360 long and ruled Rome. He was still revered at this time. 118 00:06:57.680 --> 00:07:01.120 His mother, Nero's mother was actually the descendant of Augustus. 119 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:07.240 All right, Now, it was a rough time, and it's 120 00:07:07.279 --> 00:07:11.600 it's crazy, it's funny, it's awful. There are a bunch 121 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:16.720 of words I can use to describe ruling families throughout history. 122 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:19.399 We talk a lot about our Kennedys here in the 123 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:22.759 United States of America, not just the fact that they've 124 00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:25.759 been in and around power forever. You know, we got 125 00:07:25.879 --> 00:07:30.480 Jack as a US ambassador, JFK himself obviously the president, 126 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:33.720 our FK. You have all these different Kennedys. There's still 127 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:36.959 Kennedy's today, our FK Junior just ran for president. All 128 00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:39.560 these Kennedys out there, we talk about the power they 129 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:42.439 have and what else do we talk about? The tragedy 130 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:45.560 and the and the scandal around them all the time. 131 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:49.759 Ted Kennedy's killing women with his car. JFK is getting 132 00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:53.920 shot in Dallas are. It's just been thing after thing 133 00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:59.560 after thing after thing, and that is a pretty consistent 134 00:07:59.720 --> 00:08:04.079 thing throughout history. When you get a family, you would 135 00:08:04.079 --> 00:08:06.240 think it'd be the opposite, at least I would if 136 00:08:06.279 --> 00:08:09.600 you were to say that Kelly family, we were about 137 00:08:09.639 --> 00:08:13.199 to become presidents. In fact, I was going to be 138 00:08:13.199 --> 00:08:15.759 elected president. Haha, that's a real joke. We all know 139 00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:18.920 that's never happened here anyway. If I was about to 140 00:08:18.920 --> 00:08:23.800 be elected president, and my son James, he's going to 141 00:08:23.800 --> 00:08:26.519 be a United States Senator, and my son Luke after 142 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:29.240 him is going to be a governor and their sons. 143 00:08:29.439 --> 00:08:32.159 Their sons are going to be presidents and senators and governors. 144 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:35.360 Would you say that we would probably have a good life. 145 00:08:36.639 --> 00:08:38.440 You would probably say so. I would say so, Wow, 146 00:08:38.519 --> 00:08:41.720 that sounds pretty cool. Wow, presidents think of all. I 147 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:43.840 bet you guys will make a lot of money. I 148 00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:46.639 bet you it'll be great. Right. But the truth is, 149 00:08:46.799 --> 00:08:49.000 if you were to present me that opportunity right in 150 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:51.360 front of me, right now, God comes down, He hands 151 00:08:51.399 --> 00:08:53.519 me a piece of paper and says, hey, Jesse, sign 152 00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:56.080 up for this life of royalty for yourself and your family. 153 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:57.759 I don't think I would sign it unless he made me, 154 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:03.559 because royal family are a disaster and this dynasty was 155 00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:08.879 no different. It was murder, intrigue, affairs, it was everything 156 00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:13.759 you can imagine in high level politics. Family member killing 157 00:09:13.879 --> 00:09:19.559 family member, a complete disaster. And that brings us to Nero. 158 00:09:20.799 --> 00:09:22.840 That was not his name originally, but we're not going 159 00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:29.000 to nerd out on details. Nero. Nero's uncle was Caligula. 160 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:30.759 There's only three names you need to learn in this 161 00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:34.440 whole story. Caligula was his uncle. You already know who 162 00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:37.799 that is, so that doesn't count. Caligula had a sister. 163 00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:42.879 Her name, and this one does matter. This is one 164 00:09:42.919 --> 00:09:46.120 of those women. She had to be a fascinating woman. 165 00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:49.440 Maybe an evil woman possibly, but had to be a 166 00:09:49.480 --> 00:09:52.000 fascinating woman. I'd like to meet her, one of those people. 167 00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:53.600 You'd like to have dinner with her for an hour 168 00:09:53.679 --> 00:09:56.039 and just see what kind of person she is. Her 169 00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:59.440 name is Agrippina, and she is going to play a 170 00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:03.320 central role in the Nero story, a central role in 171 00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:08.480 our story today. Agrippina is the sister of Caligula. And 172 00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:12.159 you already know about Caligula and what a disaster he was. 173 00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:18.080 Eventually he gets displeased with Agrippina, and that's kind of 174 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:21.200 where the Nero story begins. So we'll begin there in 175 00:10:21.240 --> 00:10:25.080 a moment. Before we do that, let's do relief factor. 176 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:29.240 I bet you all these people, I bet you there 177 00:10:29.240 --> 00:10:31.600 would have been less murder if they had relief factor. 178 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:34.120 Think about it. What do you do for pain in 179 00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:37.720 the ancient Rome? Here You're gonna chew on some weird plant, 180 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:41.360 go sacrifice a bull or something odd like that, when 181 00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:45.039 you could just be taking relief factor every single day, 182 00:10:45.559 --> 00:10:49.759 one hundred percent drug free. It's natural, developed by doctors. 183 00:10:49.919 --> 00:10:52.320 What is it? It's a it's a daily supplement. You 184 00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:55.919 take it every day, and your body it's already fighting 185 00:10:55.919 --> 00:10:58.399 that inflammation that's making your back hurt, that makes your 186 00:10:58.440 --> 00:11:00.799 knee hurt, your your muscle's hurt. It's already trying to 187 00:11:00.840 --> 00:11:04.039 fight it. It needs help. That's what relief Factory is. 188 00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:08.799 It's the help. People talk about their pain disappearing completely. 189 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:12.679 Others talk about their pain being turned way down. But 190 00:11:13.960 --> 00:11:16.360 if you could just take a natural herbal supplement every 191 00:11:16.360 --> 00:11:20.240 morning and have that, wouldn't you Nineteen dollars and ninety 192 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:22.440 five cents buys you three weeks of it. Go get 193 00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:26.960 some relief Factor dot com or call one eight hundred 194 00:11:27.159 --> 00:11:31.360 the number four Relief. We'll be back. What Chris, We 195 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:34.159 can make jokes. It's fine, we get that right. The 196 00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:39.000 Jesse Kelly Show is the Jesse Kelly Show on a 197 00:11:39.840 --> 00:11:42.200 or almost sad a Tuesday on a Wednesday. I remember, 198 00:11:42.200 --> 00:11:46.360 you can email the show Jesse at Jesse Kellyshow dot com. 199 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:49.840 We're discussing some history now. In fact, we're discussing Nero. 200 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:52.480 I kinda gave a little bit of backstory. His uncle 201 00:11:52.600 --> 00:11:55.639 was Caligula. Don't worry about that, but his mother. You 202 00:11:55.679 --> 00:11:58.440 do need to worry about. Her name was Agrippina, and 203 00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:02.120 you're gonna hear her name alive today. Agrippina was the 204 00:12:02.679 --> 00:12:10.879 mother of Nero. Nero his father was and look, you 205 00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:14.080 never it's hard to psychologize somebody two thousand years later, 206 00:12:14.600 --> 00:12:17.000 But when you look at how Nero eventually turned out, 207 00:12:17.480 --> 00:12:20.600 you can really see how his childhood guided him. We'll 208 00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:22.639 get to the mother's side in a moment. His father 209 00:12:23.320 --> 00:12:27.759 was a senator, a very important man, but reportedly an 210 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:33.679 angry drunk, had a terrible alcohol problem, and was violent 211 00:12:33.960 --> 00:12:39.399 to the point a fellow senator argued with him on 212 00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:42.960 the senate floor one day, and he tracked him down 213 00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:47.360 later and gouged out his eye. Gosh, what's the worst 214 00:12:47.399 --> 00:12:49.879 you've ever held a grudge? So that was Nero's father. 215 00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:56.120 His father reportedly murdered some slave boy in traffic because 216 00:12:56.159 --> 00:12:58.639 there was some kind of a traffic incident or accident, 217 00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:00.240 and you just got mad and got out, just ed 218 00:13:00.279 --> 00:13:01.759 him and kept moving on his way. So we're talking 219 00:13:01.799 --> 00:13:05.840 about a violent, bad person. That's his father. Now his 220 00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:10.000 father dies, Caligula is in power doing all the horrible 221 00:13:10.039 --> 00:13:13.399 things Caligula did, most of which are not fit to 222 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:18.440 be talked about on a family radio show. So Caligula 223 00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:22.720 he decides he doesn't like his sister Agrippina anymore, and 224 00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:29.080 he banishes her her and her son, Nero, her young son. 225 00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:33.720 So Nero's father is dead, his mother and he have 226 00:13:33.879 --> 00:13:39.039 been banished to an island. Now remember this, you want 227 00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:43.200 to talk about how two different lives have well, the 228 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:46.159 difference between the two different lives Nero has lived so 229 00:13:46.360 --> 00:13:50.360 far in Roman society, it was very much a caste system, 230 00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:52.600 where you would have the ruling elite, and there were 231 00:13:52.679 --> 00:13:56.600 various levels of society. Nero was born into the Julian 232 00:13:56.639 --> 00:14:01.879 Claudian dynasty, meaning for however long he had lived, Nero 233 00:14:02.039 --> 00:14:06.320 would have lived royal life. A royal life so far. 234 00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:08.919 It would have been the finest foods, the finest horses, 235 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:12.799 the comfiest beds. He would have had slaves and servants 236 00:14:12.840 --> 00:14:15.879 and tutors. He would have had things really, really good. 237 00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:21.000 And then boom, Uncle Caligila decides he doesn't like mom anymore. 238 00:14:21.360 --> 00:14:24.840 He banishes you to an island. You're not only banished 239 00:14:24.840 --> 00:14:30.320 to an island, your tutor. His tutor was a dancer. 240 00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:34.720 Now that may not sound that extreme, but I need 241 00:14:34.759 --> 00:14:41.240 to pause Romans. In Roman society, they considered the arts 242 00:14:41.559 --> 00:14:49.000 theater actors dancers. They considered them to be equal or 243 00:14:49.200 --> 00:14:54.720 below ladies of the night. Everyone understands what I mean. 244 00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:56.200 I know there are kids listening. I'm trying to make 245 00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:59.799 this right. But women who sell things late at night, 246 00:15:00.279 --> 00:15:05.399 they shouldn't be selling the dudes who are lonely. Roman 247 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:10.159 society considered dancers beneath those people actors and that shit. 248 00:15:10.200 --> 00:15:11.440 This is going to come back in a plane a 249 00:15:11.480 --> 00:15:14.320 little while too. You have to know that about Roman society. 250 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:17.600 The only tutor they gave young Nero was a dancer. 251 00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:23.159 And what else went into that I don't know. Now. 252 00:15:23.639 --> 00:15:28.240 Fast forward, Caligula is murdered. Caligula ends up getting murdered. 253 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:32.720 It's a very famous story. Caligula had made himself the 254 00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:35.960 bane of the existence of many, many powerful people. He 255 00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:41.559 was abusing senators, abusing their wives in front of the senators. 256 00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:45.639 He was signed up for an assassination. Caligula eventually gets 257 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:49.399 assassinated and a guy takes over. His name's Claudius. You 258 00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:51.320 don't have to know that, it's not important for our 259 00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:55.360 story today, but Claudius takes over as the Roman emperor 260 00:15:56.519 --> 00:16:00.960 Claudius gets a hold of Agrippina, who's been banished, and 261 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:04.519 he says, hey, come on back home. So now Nero 262 00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:07.600 has grown up his royalty. He got banished to an 263 00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:11.080 island to live a really, really rough life, and then 264 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:14.639 he's just been called back home, back into the arms 265 00:16:14.679 --> 00:16:18.480 of the new emperor, Claudius, and now he's royalty. Now 266 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:22.320 they're not part of the actual you know, Claudius's home yet, 267 00:16:22.679 --> 00:16:26.080 but Agrippina seems to be working on that. You see, 268 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:32.279 Agrippina is married for a while, and then her husband dies. 269 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:37.120 You'll notice a lot of people Agrippina, once dead in 270 00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:43.159 this story end up dying through sometimes mysterious, sometimes fairly 271 00:16:43.240 --> 00:16:48.360 obvious circumstances. Agrippina totally poisoned her husband. Agrippina's husband dies. 272 00:16:49.159 --> 00:16:52.279 Claudius he doesn't want to be left out. Remember when 273 00:16:52.279 --> 00:16:54.360 I told you it's rough light, it's a rough life 274 00:16:54.360 --> 00:16:57.320 for royal families. He murders his wife as well. Well, 275 00:16:57.360 --> 00:17:00.320 look at that, Agrippina. And this is a true story. Memory, 276 00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:03.480 This is not some book we're reading. Now you have Claudius, 277 00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:08.759 the Emperor of Rome. You have Agrippina, the mother of Nero. Agrippina, 278 00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:11.799 I'm assuming was a charming woman at least that's like 279 00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:14.400 how that's how I like to imagine her in my mind. 280 00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:19.480 They decide they're a really good couple. Hey, look, you 281 00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:23.279 murdered your spouse and I murdered my spouse. Are we 282 00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:26.720 made for each other? And they decide to get together. 283 00:17:28.079 --> 00:17:35.480 But Claudius, Claudius already has a son. He has a son, 284 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:40.079 and now he has this new wife, Agrippina. She's bringing 285 00:17:40.200 --> 00:17:43.839 her son along. Well, this is an awkward situation when 286 00:17:43.839 --> 00:17:47.000 you are now in an empire where the next emperor 287 00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:51.640 is oftentimes the son or a relative of the current emperor. 288 00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:56.039 If you're Claudius, do you pick your biological son or 289 00:17:56.119 --> 00:18:00.759 this new boy Nero. Well that's where Agrippina again began 290 00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:05.480 to work her magic. Next is the Jesse Kelly Show 291 00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:08.400 on a Wednesday. Member. If you miss any part of 292 00:18:08.440 --> 00:18:14.319 the show, you can go download the podcast. It's free, iHeart, Spotify, iTunes. 293 00:18:14.359 --> 00:18:16.400 All right, back to our story. We're talking about Nero. 294 00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:18.880 In case you're just now joining us, you're jumping in 295 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:21.480 mid story. Don't worry, Oh, download a podcast if you 296 00:18:21.519 --> 00:18:25.319 miss the beginning of it. So Nero, Nero's mother, Agrippina, 297 00:18:26.279 --> 00:18:29.920 she manages to worm her way back into power in Rome, 298 00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:34.680 and she manages to marry the Emperor Claudius. Well, now 299 00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:41.880 you have Nero here. Claudius already had a biological son, Agrippina. 300 00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:47.519 This is a woman who is ambitious, starts working her 301 00:18:47.559 --> 00:18:52.559 magic and working on Claudius, and she gets him to 302 00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:58.480 agree to adopt Nero as his official son. Now, let's 303 00:18:58.680 --> 00:19:04.319 pause really quickly and talk about Roman adoption. Adoption modern 304 00:19:04.359 --> 00:19:07.759 times one of the most blessed things you could ever 305 00:19:07.799 --> 00:19:10.960 do for somebody. It's freaking awesome. If you're listening to 306 00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:15.000 me and you adopt kids, you have so much respect 307 00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:18.880 from me. If you're a child who's been adopted, I 308 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:22.319 know that can be difficult for sure. I have some 309 00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:25.359 experience in this area. I know that can be difficult. 310 00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:29.319 Show some appreciation for your adoptive parents. It's really awesome 311 00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:34.680 thing in Roman high society back then. I don't want 312 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:37.799 to sit and act like it was quite as as 313 00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:43.279 benevolent as adoption is today. Oftentimes these adoptions were for 314 00:19:43.440 --> 00:19:47.680 political reasons and other reasons. But there is something you 315 00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:52.160 need to know about Roman adoption back then, just like today, 316 00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:57.640 when a Roman adopted you, if you got adopted by 317 00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:01.359 a Roman, one of these high society Romans. Then it 318 00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:07.599 was every bit as official as your biological son. It 319 00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:12.079 is as if the blood, the genes, the DNA, none 320 00:20:12.119 --> 00:20:14.359 of that stuff mattered at all. It was not kind 321 00:20:14.359 --> 00:20:16.759 of okay, we'll adopt them, and he can be kind 322 00:20:16.759 --> 00:20:20.559 of the side son, just like the adopted families handle 323 00:20:20.599 --> 00:20:23.960 it today. When you are adopted, you are mine, You 324 00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:26.079 are my flesh and blood. If that is how it 325 00:20:26.119 --> 00:20:30.720 was treated Claudius. Because the man I don't know whether 326 00:20:30.759 --> 00:20:33.559 he just couldn't see straight around Agrippina. I have no 327 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:39.799 idea what he was thinking. Claudius adopts Nero as his son. Well, 328 00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:44.680 now you have an emperor Claudius. He has a wife, Agrippina, 329 00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:47.880 who has a vested interest in one of the two sons. 330 00:20:48.359 --> 00:20:52.559 And the one of the two sons, Nero, happens to 331 00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:57.480 be the oldest son. And that matters a lot, you see, 332 00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:02.119 because there were rules in Roman society for how old 333 00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:05.319 you had to be in order to be emperor. And 334 00:21:05.319 --> 00:21:07.319 actually I did some digging into this last night. When 335 00:21:07.319 --> 00:21:10.000 I thought about telling you this story, I decided I 336 00:21:10.039 --> 00:21:11.799 was going to figure out what the rules were. I'll 337 00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:14.440 be honest, I could never nail it down. I kept 338 00:21:14.440 --> 00:21:17.599 getting different rules from different sources. Here's what I do 339 00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:21.920 know this part. I know Nero. Fast forward a little bit. 340 00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:24.480 I'll come back and explain. But Nero does assume the 341 00:21:24.519 --> 00:21:28.720 throne at the age of sixteen. Okay, so he's sixteen 342 00:21:28.799 --> 00:21:35.200 years old, all right. His brother, his stepbrother, I should say, 343 00:21:36.039 --> 00:21:39.119 did not get the throne because he wasn't considered to 344 00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:43.680 be old enough, which begs the question how old does 345 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:46.759 one have to be to assume the throne? If sixteen 346 00:21:46.920 --> 00:21:49.960 is old enough and the other age is not old enough. 347 00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:56.920 Either way, Claudius adopts Nero, and now his mother is 348 00:21:57.039 --> 00:21:59.720 kind of in a race against time. And I can't 349 00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:04.240 believe Claudius didn't see this coming. Claudius preferred the other son. 350 00:22:04.359 --> 00:22:07.359 Obviously he's the son. He knew, he's the son he 351 00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:16.359 had raised. But Agrippina understood the other son, whom Claudius preferred, 352 00:22:17.720 --> 00:22:21.240 was too young to be emperor. So she had a 353 00:22:21.400 --> 00:22:26.039 very slim window, a short time frame, if you will, 354 00:22:26.920 --> 00:22:31.200 to find a way for Claudius to abdicate the throne. 355 00:22:31.240 --> 00:22:35.880 If you will, Claudius sits down for dinner one night, 356 00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:39.200 he is not a stupid man by any stretch of 357 00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:44.559 the imagination. He is seeing Emperor after Emperor murdered Caliguila 358 00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:48.480 was just knifed about five minutes before this. He was 359 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:51.559 well aware his life would be in danger as an emperor. 360 00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:58.599 So Claudius had a food taster, well, Agrippina, once again 361 00:22:59.240 --> 00:23:03.000 the crafty devil she was. Agrippina found a way to 362 00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:06.880 buy off and manipulate the food taster, and they slipped 363 00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:12.519 a poisonous mushroom mushroom onto Claudius's table, onto his plate. 364 00:23:13.079 --> 00:23:16.960 Except they were so worried that everyone would knew he'd 365 00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:22.680 been poisoned, they chose a slow acting poison. Claudius sits 366 00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:26.759 down as emperor ingests some mushrooms. Whether it was on 367 00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:28.920 a pizza or not, I don't know. I like to 368 00:23:29.000 --> 00:23:32.759 imagine it was. He eats a poisonous mushroom. He got 369 00:23:32.839 --> 00:23:36.720 drunk a lot, He got hammered that night, and so 370 00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:39.359 no one thought anything of it. When he got up. Oh, 371 00:23:39.480 --> 00:23:42.960 I can hardly stand slurring his words, complaining of a 372 00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:46.119 stomach ache. No big deer, no big deal. The emperor 373 00:23:46.119 --> 00:23:48.960 has a drinking problem, probably hangs out with Nancy Pelosi. 374 00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:51.720 Let's not stretch it. He goes off to his room, 375 00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:56.680 continues to get sick, but he's not dying. Agrippina's in 376 00:23:56.759 --> 00:24:01.359 the palace starting to get understandably concerned. Learned because he 377 00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:06.079 is not dying. And if the emperor does survive, he 378 00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:11.160 is going to know he's been poisoned because those mushrooms, Ah, 379 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:14.240 they did taste a little bit funny. So what does 380 00:24:14.279 --> 00:24:17.599 she do again? This woman must have been look, you 381 00:24:17.640 --> 00:24:20.559 don't want to make in your dinner, but she must 382 00:24:20.599 --> 00:24:24.680 have been an impressive human being. She scrambles. She gets 383 00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:28.319 to another person who she's manipulated and bought off. This 384 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:32.240 person happens to be the palace freaking doctor. And what 385 00:24:32.440 --> 00:24:36.559 she do? She gets the palace doctor to take a feather. 386 00:24:37.799 --> 00:24:42.359 The feather is dipped in a fast acting poison. This 387 00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:46.680 time the doctor brings it in too. Claudius says, oh, 388 00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:50.440 I heard you're sick. Here's a solution. Tickle the back 389 00:24:50.480 --> 00:24:53.759 of your throat with this feather. It'll make you throw up. 390 00:24:54.119 --> 00:24:58.359 You'll feel better. Claudius says, sounds good. Give me the feather, 391 00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:01.839 grabs the feather, Come on, is it down? Lays over 392 00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:09.240 dies right then and there and now you're Agrippina. You're 393 00:25:09.279 --> 00:25:12.880 looking around, and this all has worked out quite well 394 00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:16.400 for you, hasn't it. You went from being the banished 395 00:25:16.799 --> 00:25:22.599 sister of Caligula, banished to a tiny, crappy island. Your 396 00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:29.839 emperor husband just keeled over dead, Your son freshly adopted 397 00:25:30.039 --> 00:25:34.319 by a miracle, Your son freshly adopted, appears to be 398 00:25:34.440 --> 00:25:36.920 the only one of the two boys who can take 399 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:41.119 over the throne. And wow, look at how well things 400 00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:44.680 have worked out for you. Like I said, Agrippina was 401 00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:49.440