Speaker 1: Hey, the Sucrists acting your leadership on today's discussion on
Speaker 1: employee engagement. I want to talk about something that I
Speaker 1: think is often overlooked by leaders when it comes to
Speaker 1: engaging employees, and that is the simple act of complementing them.
Speaker 1: And I know, you know, when I first read this,
Speaker 1: I kind of rolled my eyes a little bit too.
Speaker 1: And I always think, you know, I do compliment employees.
Speaker 1: I tell them, you know, when I give feedback on
Speaker 1: when they do things right, when they do things, you know, wrong,
Speaker 1: from a constructive way. You know, I go through that.
Speaker 1: And that's not what I'm talking about. I'm actually talking
Speaker 1: about giving them a compliment from a very basic standpoint
Speaker 1: of something they did that could be either work related
Speaker 1: or not that just kind of helps get through the day.
Speaker 1: There was a study that was just done out of Ottawa,
Speaker 1: Canada where they had an actor pose as a psychology
Speaker 1: student and that psychology student was tasked at getting people
Speaker 1: to help him hand out flyers for an event. And
Speaker 1: they asked a lot of people to help hand out
Speaker 1: flyers and on half of them, the person complimented the
Speaker 1: person that walked up to the table on their outfit
Speaker 1: before asking them to hand out flyers, and almost eighty
Speaker 1: percent of the people that were complimented said yes to
Speaker 1: help a hand out flyers, whereas less than half of
Speaker 1: the people who weren't complimented said yes to handing out flyers.
Speaker 1: And it goes back to this idea of the idea
Speaker 1: of reciprocity. So human beings our reciprocal creatures, and when
Speaker 1: we feel like somebody has done something for us, there's
Speaker 1: an inherent need or feeling to do something for them too.
Speaker 1: And it could be as simple as someone complimented me,
Speaker 1: and now I feel like I have to kind of
Speaker 1: repay that in some way. And if you're a leader
Speaker 1: of people, that way of repaying it might just be
Speaker 1: focusing on something that is important to that leader that
Speaker 1: day that may not be as important to you in
Speaker 1: the moment, but should be, and it's a way to
Speaker 1: kind of like balance the scales back again. People don't
Speaker 1: like feeling like that that reciprocity is out of out
Speaker 1: of sync. So if you end up if you if
Speaker 1: you feel like you owe something to somebody, that doesn't
Speaker 1: feel good. If you feel like somebody owes something to you,
Speaker 1: that also doesn't feel good. So we're constantly trying to
Speaker 1: to kind of put that balance back in place and
Speaker 1: an individual simple compliments on something that a person did
Speaker 1: well or even as the study shows just the outfit
Speaker 1: they were that day. Obviously not in a respectful way,
Speaker 1: of course, but but keeping in mind that people like
Speaker 1: feeling good about themselves and whatever you can do as
Speaker 1: a leader to to help them feel that way is
Speaker 1: going to be a positive. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think it's It's interesting because I think that there's
Speaker 2: a lot of kind of tips and tricks over the
Speaker 2: years from a leadership standpoint that are that are that
Speaker 2: are really at the core of just like kind of
Speaker 2: human behavior. And I think it's like you said, like
Speaker 2: like yeah, compliments, Wow, they work. Huh. I rolled my eyes.
Speaker 2: But it's one of those things that when you when
Speaker 2: you utilize that understanding of something, it's like when you
Speaker 2: talk to somebody for the first time and I say, hey, Chris,
Speaker 2: hey man, how's your day going, versus how are you doing?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Like like like like hey, how you know, Hey, what's
Speaker 2: going on? Like how how's the family? Like like starting
Speaker 2: conversations with something in dialogue around the person and how
Speaker 2: they are doing and how like the people they care
Speaker 2: about are doing Like those things when done over time
Speaker 2: and done authentically and there's conversation and dialogue, it just
Speaker 2: creates this like there's a larger purpose here, there's a
Speaker 2: larger priority here, there's something that's actually you know, important
Speaker 2: to me about you that is bigger than just like
Speaker 2: this job or whatever's going on. Like we'll get to
Speaker 2: that point, but like those types of things I think
Speaker 2: are so important, or even starting conversations with gratitude, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. Like that's another thing too, when
Speaker 2: when somebody comes to you, you know, with with the
Speaker 2: with the you know, a complaint or feedback or their
Speaker 2: thoughts or perspectives or their frustrations, even saying like well, first,
Speaker 2: like thanks for bringing that to me, Like the fact
Speaker 2: that you know, trust me to want to share what's
Speaker 2: going on or the situation or your frustration or what
Speaker 2: this is. Like I appreciate you coming to me to
Speaker 2: talk about it because that allows us to have some
Speaker 2: dialogue here to see what's going on. But thank you.
Speaker 2: Like like things like that that we can miss so
Speaker 2: many times but are but are critical in my belief
Speaker 2: to like really building you know, great type of interactions
Speaker 2: with our people and customers and whatever. They're so important,
Speaker 2: and I think that just compliments, you know, giving compliments
Speaker 2: is a big part of that again when done authentically,
Speaker 2: and real people can read right through a fake compliment,
Speaker 2: of course, real ones, real ones mean something.
Speaker 1: Right for sure. So I want to talk about some
Speaker 1: of the things that as a leader can do to
Speaker 1: to make this happen from a standpoint of real you know,
Speaker 1: so you where people don't think you're just trying to
Speaker 1: get through something to get to the thing that's really
Speaker 1: important to you, which is the job, if that's what
Speaker 1: it is, or that you don't mean what you say,
Speaker 1: or that it's hollow or it's not coming from real play.
Speaker 1: So it's really important that you don't do these things
Speaker 1: unless they are real. So I want to show you
Speaker 1: some of the ways to make that happen in the
Speaker 1: right way. But first I want to get up toward
Speaker 1: for one of more sponsors. All Right, if you're going
Speaker 1: to give somebody a compliment, it needs to start with
Speaker 1: it being real for sure. Don't do it if it's
Speaker 1: not going to be one hundred percent real. And so
Speaker 1: I'll go back to the example you gave Lorenzo a
Speaker 1: few minutes ago. Hey, how's your day going. You could
Speaker 1: even go one step further and say, hey, how's your
Speaker 1: day going. The last time we talked, I think you
Speaker 1: said that one of your kids was about to play
Speaker 1: a basketball game? How'd that go? You know, like just
Speaker 1: recalling back something that happened in the previous conversation to say, oh,
Speaker 1: my gosh, that person was listening, actually listening to what
Speaker 1: I had to say in that conversation and following up
Speaker 1: on it. That in and of itself, shows that you're
Speaker 1: valuing that person's time and that you are are interacting
Speaker 1: with them not from a standpoint of what can they
Speaker 1: do for you? But what can you do for them?
Speaker 1: If you if you truly believe in servant leadership, that's
Speaker 1: what those conversations are, is what can you do for
Speaker 1: them in order to help them get the job done
Speaker 1: they need to get done. And part of that servant
Speaker 1: leadership is saying that you are actually listening to what
Speaker 1: they're saying. And then compliments need to be relevant, They
Speaker 1: need to be you know, you have to kind of
Speaker 1: have like a social awareness to know what's going on.
Speaker 1: So if a if a person is you know, has
Speaker 1: shown signs that they do not like being complimented, then
Speaker 1: don't you know or pick a thing that is that
Speaker 1: would not fall into that category. Talk to people about
Speaker 1: it afterwards. If you if you've never had an interaction
Speaker 1: with a person before where you've tried this, and you
Speaker 1: try it, it's important to follow up later on and say, hey,
Speaker 1: I want to make sure if you don't feel like
Speaker 1: one hundred percent then it went really well to follow
Speaker 1: up with them and say, hey, I just want to
Speaker 1: make sure that that interaction we had earlier went well.
Speaker 1: I didn't you know, get like maybe one hundred percent
Speaker 1: you know, positive vibes from it. So if there's something
Speaker 1: I can do differently in the future, then let me
Speaker 1: know going forward, because you definitely want to meet people
Speaker 1: where they are and not make them feel uncomfortable. But
Speaker 1: if the compliment is coming from a genuine place of
Speaker 1: belief and it's said respectfully, then then it usually goes
Speaker 1: over really well, assuming they know about you as a
Speaker 1: person and you as an individual and that that's the
Speaker 1: kind of person that you are. But the compliments or
Speaker 1: the comments or the discussions they need to be centered
Speaker 1: around something that is specific enough to where you didn't
Speaker 1: just make it up or you can't just repeat it
Speaker 1: to every single person, because if it's if it's repeatable
Speaker 1: to every person, then it's not individualized to them and
Speaker 1: they'll see right through it. That's the first thing. And
Speaker 1: the second thing is it needs to take into account
Speaker 1: something that potentially that they brought to the table. And
Speaker 1: so if it's a compliment on their outfit, they bring it,
Speaker 1: they brought that to the table. If it's a hey,
Speaker 1: great job with that last client call that you had,
Speaker 1: you know, an hour ago. I was listening and I
Speaker 1: love the way that that went, or I love how
Speaker 1: you how you diffused that situation with that customer who
Speaker 1: was who came in angry or was you know, I
Speaker 1: rate about something and you took it down a notch.
Speaker 1: You know, the compliments that are specific to something that
Speaker 1: somebody did or that they brought to the table are
Speaker 1: the ones that work. The ones that are generalized or
Speaker 1: that could be said to fifty different people, I mean,
Speaker 1: the exact same thing, those don't work.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I can just as you were talking through it.
Speaker 2: I can imagine if I just went and like was like, wow, hey,
Speaker 2: that's a great you know set of shoes you got
Speaker 2: on there. That's awesome. Hey, that's a great pair of shoes. Hey, hey,
Speaker 2: you know what, I like your shoes over there? Just
Speaker 2: like giving the same kind of like stale compliment to everybody. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's just like shoes. Yeah, yeah, that guy just likes
Speaker 2: things that are on your feet.
Speaker 1: Kind of weird. Have you seen that thing? Weird? He's
Speaker 1: always focusing on your feet.
Speaker 2: What is that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What is that all about? Yeah, no, it's it's it's
Speaker 2: so true. It's like the you know, I think compliments,
Speaker 2: genuine compliments and authentic compliments, I think are a great
Speaker 2: way to build, you know, great relationships with people. But
Speaker 2: I think you have to know enough about them to
Speaker 2: your point to be able to compliment something that means
Speaker 2: something to them as well, you know what I mean
Speaker 2: like that, like yes, like when you're first starting to
Speaker 2: get to know people, like, yeah, they'll be compliments, they'll
Speaker 2: be things I think I either think they'll Compliments for
Speaker 2: me are more than just saying like oh that's cool
Speaker 2: or I like that or that's neat, and it's more
Speaker 2: around like I compliment people, I think in a way
Speaker 2: where it's like giving them time and attention or going
Speaker 2: deeper into something that they are passionate about, or they're
Speaker 2: talking about you know what I mean, Like, oh, you
Speaker 2: like you're into you're into playing, you know, guitar, Also
Speaker 2: like what what brand of guitar? Or like let me guess,
Speaker 2: like me, let me guess, like what what kind of
Speaker 2: music do you listen to? Okay, Like I think you
Speaker 2: may play a Gibson, right, and they're like, wow, I
Speaker 2: do play Gibson, Like Nope, not gives them So you're defender, right,
Speaker 2: So like you you just you're you're have You're giving
Speaker 2: somebody a compliment through talking about something that they're interested
Speaker 2: or passionate about in a way that's fun and interactive
Speaker 2: and in kind of you know, gets deeper into something
Speaker 2: that that that means something to them. And I view
Speaker 2: that as also being complimentary outside of just like the
Speaker 2: basic elements of saying that you'd like something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that completely. The last thing I
Speaker 1: want to say about this is that it's important that
Speaker 1: you never make it about you. So to give a
Speaker 1: perfect example, uh, if you you compliment somebody on their
Speaker 1: music taste or like oh I heard you you know,
Speaker 1: I heard you know music coming out of your headphones
Speaker 1: when you were in the office, the other day, I
Speaker 1: love that song. That's a great that's a great song.
Speaker 1: And you get in a conversation about music, that's fine.
Speaker 1: That's a reciprocal conversation. You can compliment with them other music.
Speaker 1: But if you say, you know what kind of guitar
Speaker 1: do you play? And then they give the answer, if
Speaker 1: instead of acknowledging that, you say, oh, I play this.
Speaker 1: I got this when I was five years old, and
Speaker 1: I've been doing this for this many years. If you're
Speaker 1: using the compliment as a springboard to talk about yourself,
Speaker 1: you've already lost. Don't volunteer the information about yourself until
Speaker 1: it's solicited. Make it about them. Listen and allow them
Speaker 1: to talk and learn more about them. And if they
Speaker 1: want to ask you about something, then they can ask
Speaker 1: you about something. But don't find ways of inserting the
Speaker 1: things about you or making it about you, Because even
Speaker 1: if you were genuinely interested in hearing what they had
Speaker 1: to say, if all of a sudden you're just become
Speaker 1: more excited about sharing your own perspective too, it will
Speaker 1: negate any progress or potential that that interaction started out with,
Speaker 1: because it takes away any idea that they think the
Speaker 1: interaction was about them, and they'll start thinking that you
Speaker 1: only interacted with them because you wanted to talk about yourself,
Speaker 1: and so really keep it about them, regardless of what
Speaker 1: you think you can add to the conversation or perspective
Speaker 1: you have wait till that perspective is solicit from them,
Speaker 1: and if it's not, then it's for another time. You know,
Speaker 1: if the interaction is about making sure that you are
Speaker 1: engaging with them in a complimentary way, then keep it
Speaker 1: about that and then move on to the next person
Speaker 1: or whatever you were doing with your day. Thank you
Speaker 1: all for joining us on this episode of Employee Engagement.
Speaker 1: We appreciate your time you's feing with us today. You
Speaker 1: have a great day.