WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:01.919 Did you even know what you were doing? 2 00:00:01.960 --> 00:00:04.000 People even wanted to see, like how did all of 3 00:00:04.040 --> 00:00:05.559 this just come about? 4 00:00:05.879 --> 00:00:09.080 Yeah, I mean my origin of being in the spotlight. 5 00:00:09.119 --> 00:00:11.960 I was on season twenty of Big Brother on CBS, 6 00:00:12.119 --> 00:00:13.720 but I always felt like I was in the spotlight. 7 00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:15.519 Like I always was kind of the guy that was. 8 00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:17.600 You had the spotlight before the spotlight was on you, 9 00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:19.280 and then you're like, this is just my time. 10 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:21.079 This is it? Yeah, like this is just like like 11 00:00:21.239 --> 00:00:23.800 I'm just gonna go do what Brett does best. So 12 00:00:23.839 --> 00:00:25.199 like when I went and did that, all my friends 13 00:00:25.239 --> 00:00:27.359 of Vamia were like, I can't believe you're doing this, 14 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:30.239 but like we get that you're doing it, Like this 15 00:00:30.359 --> 00:00:31.079 makes I. 16 00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:34.280 Wasn't completely like off like brand of who you are, 17 00:00:34.359 --> 00:00:36.280 and they're just like, okay, we you would do something. 18 00:00:36.320 --> 00:00:39.840 Didn't know it'd be exactly this, but okay, right right. 19 00:00:39.759 --> 00:00:42.039 And honestly, I like I didn't watch Big Brother. I 20 00:00:42.079 --> 00:00:44.039 didn't know the show at all. They pretty much approached 21 00:00:44.039 --> 00:00:46.000 me and they were like, hey, we have this show, 22 00:00:46.119 --> 00:00:48.799 this is the concept. Would you be interested? And I 23 00:00:48.840 --> 00:00:51.200 was like, actually, I'm really not, but if I did it, 24 00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:53.119 this is how I would do it. And they were 25 00:00:53.159 --> 00:00:55.560 like we love oh cocky, like we love that, like 26 00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:57.679 we love that so much, Like just just talk to 27 00:00:57.719 --> 00:00:59.600 one more person. I was like, okay, like I'll talk 28 00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:02.560 to him. I'm probably not gonna do it. I did it. 29 00:01:03.479 --> 00:01:06.640 I ended up doing what made you like that resistance 30 00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:07.719 like crumble? 31 00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:09.159 Is it a dollar amount? 32 00:01:09.400 --> 00:01:11.799 Because you again knew that the light that you thought 33 00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:14.599 you already had was that was what you were gravitating 34 00:01:14.599 --> 00:01:17.400 closer to what made you deter to really finally just 35 00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:17.879 do it. 36 00:01:17.599 --> 00:01:20.480 It was really more of like a once in a 37 00:01:20.519 --> 00:01:24.400 lifetime opportunity, Like there's so many people that struggle for years, 38 00:01:24.519 --> 00:01:26.640 like making an entertainment or to do a show, or 39 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:29.200 to get in that spotlight or have the opportunity to 40 00:01:29.239 --> 00:01:32.079 get in the spotlight. And I was young, like I 41 00:01:32.120 --> 00:01:34.480 was twenty five, I didn't I wasn't married, I didn't 42 00:01:34.519 --> 00:01:36.159 have kids, I didn't have a mortgage. I did have 43 00:01:36.200 --> 00:01:39.519 student loans. Like worst case scenario, let's say I fall 44 00:01:39.560 --> 00:01:42.000 flat on my ass. I could totally have just like 45 00:01:42.040 --> 00:01:43.680 moved back in with my parents if I had if 46 00:01:43.680 --> 00:01:45.040 I if I had to, that's a. 47 00:01:44.920 --> 00:01:48.239 Great mindset without it, I mean, yes, it sounds horrible 48 00:01:48.439 --> 00:01:50.400 the end result, but only in the fact that just 49 00:01:50.719 --> 00:01:53.079 like taking the leap to do right, it's because some 50 00:01:53.120 --> 00:01:55.640 people even just why you know, people aren't in certain 51 00:01:55.640 --> 00:01:58.840 positions because that just taking the leap is the way like. 52 00:01:58.840 --> 00:01:59.920 Why people don't do it. 53 00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:02.319 So that's cool to have that so young, because like 54 00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:03.879 you said, you're young, and some people are just like 55 00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:06.560 fuck it and just don't really care, or you're like, hey, wait, 56 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:08.599 there could be a business thing at the end of this. 57 00:02:08.800 --> 00:02:12.479 Let me hear more right exactly, And honestly, it played 58 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:15.120 to my advantage not knowing the show, Like I didn't 59 00:02:15.199 --> 00:02:17.199 know what I was doing. So every time I like 60 00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:20.120 imagine just like this absolute rogue quarterback that just starts 61 00:02:20.120 --> 00:02:22.800 playing the game completely differently, but it's working, and everyone's like, 62 00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:25.360 how the fuck is he doing this? Like this is 63 00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:27.759 how they traditionally have done it for twenty years, but 64 00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:29.039 what he's doing is working. 65 00:02:29.479 --> 00:02:31.800 So how because you don't know the show, how do 66 00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:34.360 you go into that mindset of like did you just 67 00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:39.120 play in? What was the motivation just to win? Because 68 00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:41.400 it is as much as like you are athletic, you've 69 00:02:41.400 --> 00:02:43.840 done you know, certain things, whatever, but there's a strategic 70 00:02:43.879 --> 00:02:45.840 part of that level. But it's also a social game 71 00:02:45.879 --> 00:02:48.039 as well. So how did you play into not knowing 72 00:02:48.120 --> 00:02:50.039 it at all? How did you come into this? 73 00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:53.479 I actually my entire game was social. I only won 74 00:02:53.560 --> 00:02:55.000 one competition. 75 00:02:55.319 --> 00:02:57.000 On purpose or because. 76 00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:58.680 You a little bit of both. I mean there was 77 00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:00.680 definitely times where like I tried to and then I didn't. 78 00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:03.639 Are you just saying that now to cover your ass 79 00:03:03.639 --> 00:03:04.800 and be like, well, you know I could. 80 00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:05.240 Have won them all? 81 00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:08.199 But no, no, because it's it's a double edged sword. 82 00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:11.319 Because when you win a competition or target, right, you're 83 00:03:11.319 --> 00:03:15.840 a target, but you're also again right, yes, but no, 84 00:03:15.919 --> 00:03:18.560 you're on everyone. Like you also are required to make 85 00:03:18.599 --> 00:03:20.879 a decision that pisses someone off no matter what. So 86 00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:22.159 you're either putting someone on the block. 87 00:03:22.319 --> 00:03:24.599 Now what you say that because that's something in a 88 00:03:24.680 --> 00:03:27.039 contractual way, or just because the game how the game 89 00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:27.360 is played. 90 00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:28.960 It's the way the game is played. Okay, So, like 91 00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:31.080 there are two competitions a week. The first one is 92 00:03:31.240 --> 00:03:34.479 h H and with that you're guaranteed safety, but you 93 00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:37.240 have to nominate two people for eviction, and only one 94 00:03:37.280 --> 00:03:39.800 gets evicted. So no matter what, you're making somebody man, 95 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:42.039 someone's mad at you. You're making an enemy. So why 96 00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:44.439 would you want to upset the house? Why? Like, why 97 00:03:44.599 --> 00:03:46.240 you know if you can just sit back and chill, 98 00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:47.400 you don't want that response? 99 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:49.240 Did you try a love approach? A love approach? 100 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:51.159 I didn't watch your season, so you know, I don't know, 101 00:03:51.240 --> 00:03:54.039 but I have with me a big brother. I've watched 102 00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:55.400 like some seasons. 103 00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:57.000 I don't know. I don't even know what season you are. 104 00:03:57.080 --> 00:03:59.000 Maybe I didn't. I didn't even know that you were 105 00:03:59.039 --> 00:03:59.680 on there. 106 00:03:59.479 --> 00:04:02.439 But you would have noticed the hunk like me, is 107 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:04.879 that route we're going here in private talk com? 108 00:04:04.919 --> 00:04:06.360 But how many seasons ago was it? 109 00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:12.000 So? So they're on they just finished twenty three, I believe, 110 00:04:12.039 --> 00:04:14.240 and they're they're about to shoot They're about to shoot 111 00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:16.040 Celebrity Big Brother in February. 112 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:17.480 See, And that's how I kind of got hooked. 113 00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:19.560 Like when I was a kid, my parents used to 114 00:04:19.600 --> 00:04:21.240 watch the other one, so I hadn't known what it was, 115 00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:23.680 but I didn't pick up back after until like as adult. 116 00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:25.879 So the celebrity one was what kind of hooked me. 117 00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:28.120 And then I saw the thing afterward because I was 118 00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:30.079 just hooked to the game because I like the like 119 00:04:30.120 --> 00:04:32.720 the process. And then I saw and then some of 120 00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:34.040 them like I said at the beginning, you can kind 121 00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:35.800 of know what people you like or don't like, and 122 00:04:35.839 --> 00:04:38.079 you're just like, I can't really fuck with these people anymore, 123 00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:39.519 Like I wouldn't like hang out with any of them, 124 00:04:39.560 --> 00:04:41.600 and I would just hate everybody. Our y is you know, 125 00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:43.439 you liked to have to like wait to the end, 126 00:04:43.560 --> 00:04:47.000 but I definitely like this strategic and the game aspect, 127 00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:47.560 So I think. 128 00:04:47.399 --> 00:04:50.399 That that's cool. So how long did that process end 129 00:04:50.439 --> 00:04:50.639 for you? 130 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:53.120 And how does that, like any of those things that 131 00:04:53.160 --> 00:04:55.120 happened in the house live out, and how your life 132 00:04:55.199 --> 00:04:57.759 is to currently today living in la oh yeah, kind 133 00:04:57.759 --> 00:04:58.439 of the same thing. 134 00:04:58.639 --> 00:05:01.720 Well, it's a very it's funny you say that, because 135 00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:05.439 that's very correct. But the process is the game is 136 00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:09.839 one hundred days. The total process you leave probably like 137 00:05:09.839 --> 00:05:11.680 a week before. It's like one hundred and seven days. 138 00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:15.240 That's not including like your whole casting process that takes months. 139 00:05:15.480 --> 00:05:18.639 That's like, but you're it's only like our interviews on intervals, 140 00:05:18.639 --> 00:05:20.600 but like over three or four months, and then you 141 00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:23.800 finally get on. You're gone from society for one hundred 142 00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:26.319 and seven days. So like I left June, like I 143 00:05:26.360 --> 00:05:30.720 got kidnapped June eleventh, and I didn't have my phone 144 00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:33.480 or speak to the outside world until September twenty eight. 145 00:05:33.720 --> 00:05:34.360 Was that hard for you? 146 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:40.120 The first thirty days are hard. The first thirty days it's. 147 00:05:39.959 --> 00:05:42.040 Like you were like like you were jonesing like a drug, 148 00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:44.720 Like you like you had a detox yourself out of 149 00:05:44.759 --> 00:05:47.199 like the every like your board, Oh, let me look 150 00:05:47.199 --> 00:05:49.240 at my phone, oh social media, h whatever. 151 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:52.759 So the first thirty days it's like, you know, so 152 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:54.920 you're like, Okay, it's Thursday night, Like I know exactly 153 00:05:54.959 --> 00:05:57.519 where my friends are. It's fourth of July. I know 154 00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:00.199 exactly what. I know exactly what my family at the 155 00:06:00.199 --> 00:06:03.959 worst phomo. I have the worst fomo in the world. 156 00:06:04.040 --> 00:06:06.439 And you're just thinking about what they're doing. And I 157 00:06:06.439 --> 00:06:07.959 swear it was a thirty day mark because it was 158 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:10.560 the day my buddy was evicted and the day he 159 00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:13.720 got evicted. After that, it was like a switch and 160 00:06:13.839 --> 00:06:16.079 it was no longer Okay, it's Thursday, like my buddies 161 00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:18.519 are at this bar. It was like, Okay, we have 162 00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:20.519 to prepare for the h of wage coming up, or 163 00:06:20.519 --> 00:06:21.879 we have to prepare for nomination. 164 00:06:22.040 --> 00:06:23.399 Like you're so funny. 165 00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:26.000 How that works, like mindset, because it's really is a 166 00:06:26.079 --> 00:06:26.480 mind game. 167 00:06:26.480 --> 00:06:28.240 That's why. Again like the aspect of the game. 168 00:06:28.279 --> 00:06:29.920 But it's like how they say you break or you 169 00:06:29.959 --> 00:06:32.000 create a habit in twenty one days, you know what 170 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:35.800 I mean, And you don't realize the withdraw which sounds 171 00:06:35.800 --> 00:06:37.920 funny with you don't think it is as an actual drug. 172 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:41.240 But those things become programs that are at like not 173 00:06:41.399 --> 00:06:43.319 healthy programs totally. 174 00:06:43.519 --> 00:06:47.040 No, You're you're you're spot on, and it's when you're 175 00:06:47.079 --> 00:06:49.399 watching from an outside of view. You have that first 176 00:06:49.439 --> 00:06:50.920 twenty one day perspective. 177 00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:53.600 You're like, oh, sitting over there like itching, You're like, come. 178 00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:55.879 Fuck, But you have this like so the first first 179 00:06:55.959 --> 00:06:58.079 thirty days your cutthroat because you don't really have an 180 00:06:58.079 --> 00:07:00.959 emotional bond with anyone yet, you know, even like and 181 00:07:01.040 --> 00:07:02.279 it's a game at the end of the day, but 182 00:07:02.439 --> 00:07:05.199 you're still like, hey, I just fucked my buddy out 183 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:07.199 of half a million dollars or now it's seven hundred 184 00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:07.600 fifty haes. 185 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:12.839 It become that like where that becomes a way that 186 00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:16.199 your opinion sways or your decision sways because now you 187 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:19.680 do have an emotional attachment because theoretically you are still 188 00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:21.720 all of you have gone on the same contract, knowing 189 00:07:21.720 --> 00:07:23.279 it's one hundred days, it's this whatever. 190 00:07:23.959 --> 00:07:25.759 How do you know those feelings are genuine? 191 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:29.680 You don't, you don't, but you're willing to risk a 192 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:30.720 half a million dollars. 193 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:33.600 See, I didn't. I was the only way. But it 194 00:07:33.639 --> 00:07:35.480 still hurts when you do it. You're like, I know 195 00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:37.600 what I have to do, and this is what I'm 196 00:07:37.639 --> 00:07:40.360 gonna do. It's gonna hurt while I'm doing it. 197 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:41.680 You lost a lot of friends. 198 00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:43.759 I was the only person who didn't have it. 199 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:44.920 My friends do you have? 200 00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:48.480 No? No, No, we're all friends. That's actually true. There's 201 00:07:48.480 --> 00:07:50.519 one person I'm probably not friends with after the show, 202 00:07:50.560 --> 00:07:51.240 but that's. 203 00:07:51.079 --> 00:07:54.920 Too let's talk about it. You like the truth here 204 00:07:54.920 --> 00:07:57.319 at Private Talk. But I mean, this show's over obviously. 205 00:07:57.560 --> 00:07:59.519 I mean I didn't watch it. I'm sorry I didn't. 206 00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:01.360 But it was so so much time that when you 207 00:08:01.399 --> 00:08:03.560 were coming to my Private Talk couch, which I appreciate 208 00:08:03.839 --> 00:08:05.279 that I couldn't cram all that in. 209 00:08:05.720 --> 00:08:06.720 So who did you have? 210 00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:09.680 Or you or they offend that you no longer have 211 00:08:09.720 --> 00:08:10.319 a relationship? 212 00:08:10.360 --> 00:08:13.600 Now rock star? Okay, rock star is this? She is? 213 00:08:13.800 --> 00:08:19.160 She was a purple haired pagan witch trying to just 214 00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:22.439 crazy hippie. Okay, if I if I could describe her, 215 00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:24.680 and those are all like self proclaimed like. 216 00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:26.600 Visual things because we're also on audio show, so I 217 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:26.959 like it. 218 00:08:27.079 --> 00:08:29.720 Yeah yeah, so that's your description, so that that's my description. 219 00:08:29.839 --> 00:08:32.840 And naturally we butted heads, didn't We didn't necessarily have 220 00:08:32.919 --> 00:08:35.720 in the beginning. From from day one, she wanted me 221 00:08:35.759 --> 00:08:37.639 out and she was public about it, and then I 222 00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:40.320 eventually got her out and we had like this like feud. 223 00:08:40.559 --> 00:08:43.240 She chased me around the house with pots and pans 224 00:08:43.240 --> 00:08:46.519 at one point time screaming at me because I lied 225 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:48.519 and said she did something she didn't to keep myself 226 00:08:48.519 --> 00:08:51.120 in the game and heed yeah oh yeah, ok on 227 00:08:51.399 --> 00:08:52.519 live television in. 228 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:54.840 Front of everybody. 229 00:08:54.879 --> 00:08:57.840 Everybody. It was it's noted as like a very iconic 230 00:08:57.919 --> 00:08:58.639 moment in the game. 231 00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:01.039 So I have a question for you without all being said, 232 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:04.559 because you know valid, right, but you are playing a 233 00:09:04.600 --> 00:09:08.639 game and individuals, because we all are individuals and we 234 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:12.279 have different like personalities. Do you think like and what 235 00:09:12.320 --> 00:09:14.679 would you could you identify now looking back on the 236 00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:19.759 outside looking in that mirrored Roxy to you and vice versa. 237 00:09:19.919 --> 00:09:22.159 That triggered you both so much that you didn't like 238 00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:23.879 each other because what they say that we usually have 239 00:09:23.879 --> 00:09:26.600 problems with people that are so there's something about us 240 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:29.039 that we don't like, and so we're acting out in 241 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:31.519 other ways that we may show up or we may 242 00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:34.320 not like how that person's showing up that triggers us. 243 00:09:34.399 --> 00:09:36.279 Is there something that you could identify at that point 244 00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:38.480 now that maybe you and Roxy, if she's listening out there, 245 00:09:38.679 --> 00:09:39.480 could amend things. 246 00:09:39.559 --> 00:09:41.799 Oh no, no, I've said it on multiple bot. I 247 00:09:41.840 --> 00:09:44.799 have nothing but love for Rockstar. Like we shared a 248 00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:47.320 very unique bond. Do I think that we'd necessarily be 249 00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:48.600 like the best friends in the appiae? 250 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:51.799 But that's not what Yeah, as looking in the mirror, 251 00:09:51.799 --> 00:09:54.240 what was the identifying factor for both of you if 252 00:09:54.240 --> 00:09:55.200 you could look right now? 253 00:09:55.559 --> 00:09:57.519 That why you think you two butted heads? 254 00:09:57.519 --> 00:10:01.799 Well, I know why she in like me her verbatim 255 00:10:01.799 --> 00:10:04.360 word where I look just like every guy that bellied 256 00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:05.159 her in high school. 257 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:06.799 Okay, so you already had a target on. 258 00:10:06.720 --> 00:10:09.720 Your back immediately, and then I was like And. 259 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:12.039 Then I'm sure in some way for her you played 260 00:10:12.039 --> 00:10:14.480 into what they were doing as well. But maybe something 261 00:10:14.519 --> 00:10:17.240 that you said that you didn't know was triggering. Probably, 262 00:10:17.639 --> 00:10:19.720 But yeah, and that's why those things are like again, 263 00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:22.240 that it's a her problem. But and then you have 264 00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:25.480 your own with defending yourself quote unquote or whatever. But 265 00:10:25.559 --> 00:10:27.480 they say, like, way, you know, the work one with 266 00:10:27.519 --> 00:10:31.320 you in yourself is if there's a troubling situation, it's 267 00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:33.879 usually identified with something we don't like about ourselves. 268 00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:37.440 For me, it was just the fact that she publicly 269 00:10:37.480 --> 00:10:39.840 said I want to get him out there. 270 00:10:39.720 --> 00:10:42.159 Washing because it was a target quotua. I shouldn't give 271 00:10:42.200 --> 00:10:45.000 you a chance of anything. She was assuming the punishment 272 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:47.559 from other people in her past on you, And you're like, 273 00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:49.639 at least get me out if I did something to 274 00:10:49.639 --> 00:10:50.080 do right. 275 00:10:51.039 --> 00:10:52.679 But at the end of the day, it's a game 276 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:55.080 and you have to pick someone. You have to. You 277 00:10:55.120 --> 00:10:56.759 can't be like, hey, I'm gonna be friends with everyone 278 00:10:56.799 --> 00:10:59.840 and nobody's going to get evicted. Everybody's going to get evicted. 279 00:11:00.039 --> 00:11:02.639 One person wins. You can have your rider die who 280 00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:05.399 like wins next to you. Because the second runner up 281 00:11:05.559 --> 00:11:08.279 gets fifty thousand dollars, it might have upped at this 282 00:11:08.360 --> 00:11:10.480 point time because the total went up. It's been years 283 00:11:10.519 --> 00:11:13.559 since I played. But you know, everybody does a win. 284 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:16.600 It's a inflation. You know, there's a lot of numbers yeah, 285 00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:17.600 these days. 286 00:11:17.960 --> 00:11:18.200 You know. 287 00:11:19.720 --> 00:11:20.120 For sure. 288 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:23.039 So with that being said, coming and integrating into the 289 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:26.759 real world after all of that, did you see yourself 290 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:30.039 kind of like playing the game not knowingly or did 291 00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:32.320 it did it just kind of just go away, because again, 292 00:11:32.960 --> 00:11:35.559 you created a new habit, and the habit. 293 00:11:35.399 --> 00:11:36.360 Was being isolated. 294 00:11:36.360 --> 00:11:39.360 It was with those same people and those personalities and 295 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:41.919 also the fight or flight and wanting the winning kind 296 00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:42.559 of aspect. 297 00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:44.480 Yeah, no, you hit the nail on the head. It's 298 00:11:44.519 --> 00:11:46.960 it's funny because you walk out and you think you're 299 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:49.919 totally fine. You're like no, like I'm good, Like yeah, 300 00:11:49.960 --> 00:11:53.840 you good, Yeah, like we're good, and then like three 301 00:11:53.879 --> 00:11:56.360 months goes by and you're like, dude, I was I 302 00:11:56.480 --> 00:11:58.919 was not okay then, Like I was like definitely not 303 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:02.200 in a mentally okay sting And you just get into this, 304 00:12:02.440 --> 00:12:06.360 like you're so used to every second of your day 305 00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:09.440 being recorded and on camera and on microphone and there 306 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:11.600 are no blind spots in the house that I was 307 00:12:11.639 --> 00:12:14.559 almost too transparent with people at times, like I just 308 00:12:14.600 --> 00:12:17.200 assumed everybody knew everything, and I was just like, fuck it, 309 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:19.000 it doesn't even matter. You already knew this, And like 310 00:12:19.039 --> 00:12:20.799 I was just telling people things like they didn't need 311 00:12:20.840 --> 00:12:22.639 to know, but I like, in my brain, I thought 312 00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:26.000 they knew. But then you're also like sitting here enjoying 313 00:12:26.039 --> 00:12:27.720 a drink, like talking with people at the bar, and 314 00:12:27.759 --> 00:12:31.399 you're just like constantly listening to other conversations that are 315 00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:34.679 around you, and slowly you break out of that, but 316 00:12:34.720 --> 00:12:40.720 you also have this like pessimistic view where you was like, 317 00:12:40.759 --> 00:12:42.440 you can't take a con Like for example, when I 318 00:12:42.440 --> 00:12:44.240 walked off the show, fans were coming up there, Brett, 319 00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:46.039 we loved your show. It was the best season I'd 320 00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:48.600 ever seen, and I was just like, what's your motive? 321 00:12:49.559 --> 00:12:51.639 Why why are you saying that? My like, like, what 322 00:12:51.679 --> 00:12:53.559 do you want from me? Because I assumed every time 323 00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:55.679 someone offered something that they were just trying to get 324 00:12:55.679 --> 00:12:56.240 something from me. 325 00:12:56.559 --> 00:12:58.919 I can relate to that myself included being in the 326 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:00.960 adult entertainment business for me is like, Okay, what do 327 00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:01.480 you want from me? 328 00:13:02.039 --> 00:13:02.879 Or do you like me? 329 00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:04.559 Or do you like who you saw on the show? 330 00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:08.559 Because reality is they don't know you, they know what's 331 00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:11.399 been portrayed of you, and you know myself included, so 332 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:14.720 it's like, how do you know when anybody is being honest? 333 00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:17.120 But it's the same thing like for me, like moving 334 00:13:17.159 --> 00:13:19.440 forward was you don't really ever. 335 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:22.399 Know, no, no, you know what I mean, Like it's. 336 00:13:22.039 --> 00:13:24.200 And it's a trial and error and everything we do 337 00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:26.639 and it's just life. And that's why, you know, it's 338 00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:28.600 it's the choices that we make, the people that we 339 00:13:28.679 --> 00:13:31.200 surround ourselves with, and all those things that are the 340 00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:34.120 influences of what we kind of make our decisions for 341 00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:36.960 is just kind of got to figure it out, you 342 00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:38.679 know what I mean. And that's kind of like why 343 00:13:38.960 --> 00:13:41.320 in some of those things like that you chose to 344 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:44.679 put yourself in and being young but not knowing the 345 00:13:44.759 --> 00:13:47.039 outcome and knowing how that would affect your life. 346 00:13:47.080 --> 00:13:48.480 Now, I'm sure you still get people come. 347 00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:50.240 Up to me like hey, I love your episode or 348 00:13:50.240 --> 00:13:53.200 hey whatever, and like you've done so many other things, right, 349 00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:54.519 you know what I mean, So you're like I forgot 350 00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:55.799 about that, you know what I mean, Like I'm doing 351 00:13:55.840 --> 00:13:57.480 da da da da, or not that you forgot, but 352 00:13:57.639 --> 00:14:00.679 like of why someone would be so fascinated about even then, 353 00:14:00.919 --> 00:14:03.360 like the fan base continues, and then then you have 354 00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:05.720 the ones in the other spectrum where it's like watch 355 00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:08.720 every single thing you do that know from a detail 356 00:14:08.759 --> 00:14:11.320 at times sometimes with myself, I'm like, man, I forgot 357 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:15.039 I did that, or I didn't even know. Yeah that's cool, 358 00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:16.240 I did do that, you know what I mean. So 359 00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:18.919 then there's a refreshers you're like and it's humbling you, 360 00:14:18.919 --> 00:14:19.399 at least. 361 00:14:19.279 --> 00:14:22.559 For my totally for example, like me as well, we 362 00:14:22.600 --> 00:14:26.399 had one hundred days of filming. Imagine twenty four hours 363 00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:29.639 around the clock. A hundred days. It's a lot of time. 364 00:14:29.720 --> 00:14:31.559 I said a lot of fucking things and I did 365 00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:32.279 a lot of things. 366 00:14:32.440 --> 00:14:33.600 Do you regret any of it? 367 00:14:34.039 --> 00:14:34.799 No? 368 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:37.399 Is there anything that a moment that maybe that was like, uh, 369 00:14:37.960 --> 00:14:39.759 that's not what I meant, or it was portrayed a 370 00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:42.200 certain way, or like are you just fuck it? 371 00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:43.120 This is who I am. 372 00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:46.159 No, I'm good. I feel like you know, in the beginning, 373 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:48.679 I was a little bit jaded the edit that I 374 00:14:48.679 --> 00:14:50.440 got in the beginning, but I was able to redeem 375 00:14:50.440 --> 00:14:54.759 myself over time. Fortunately, like I came out boisterous just 376 00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:57.480 like douchebag frack guy was the edit that I got, 377 00:14:57.639 --> 00:14:58.799 and obviously, like I've played. 378 00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:01.120 It, that's your lifestyle in the beginning from at that 379 00:15:01.200 --> 00:15:03.399 point or is that just something that it was easy 380 00:15:03.399 --> 00:15:04.320 to target on your back. 381 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:08.080 I would say that they turned a twenty percent of 382 00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:09.399 me into one hundred percent of. 383 00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:10.960 Me, you know what I mean, They saw what they 384 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.279 could amp up to make right totally. Maybe, I mean 385 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:14.759 it's I think I think it's still TV. 386 00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:16.480 Right, and a lot of people forget even though it's 387 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:18.679 reality TV. People forget at the end of the day, 388 00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:21.759 this is a television show. Like when I signed that contract, 389 00:15:21.799 --> 00:15:24.320 it's it's not it's not a it's not a game. 390 00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:25.399 It's a television show. 391 00:15:25.679 --> 00:15:29.399 Do they put on like things where you know, make 392 00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:31.519 you like, put people against each other in the house 393 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:33.559 or is it just the kind of a free for all? 394 00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:35.840 Is there any kind of things that are pitted against. 395 00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:37.879 Or it would be naive to say that there's no 396 00:15:37.960 --> 00:15:41.320 producer influence. But Big Brother is a very difficult game 397 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:44.559 to influence because of the way it's designed. One it's 398 00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:49.159 live to like like on other shows like you Break, 399 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:51.519 you're like okay. There's even on reality TV shows like 400 00:15:51.559 --> 00:15:53.080 you know when you're on camera and you know when. 401 00:15:52.919 --> 00:15:55.120