WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.840 --> 00:00:08.599 Hey, hey, hey, I'm back back with something for you. 2 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:10.839 To think about. 3 00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:25.879 When he or she, when they are obsessive, possessive, and controlling. 4 00:00:27.679 --> 00:00:32.920 Let me say it again, When who you're with that 5 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:37.119 individual that you think you love so much, when they 6 00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:44.560 are obsessive, possessive, and controlling, you. 7 00:00:45.079 --> 00:00:49.039 Got a problem. 8 00:00:49.079 --> 00:00:53.200 You have a problem. I wanted to talk about this. 9 00:00:54.399 --> 00:01:00.240 I've done plenty of episodes talking about abusive relationships. You 10 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:04.439 can go and check them out, but I wanted to 11 00:01:04.480 --> 00:01:11.920 break this down specifically because there are so many people 12 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:20.840 who are in toxic relationships. Toxic relationships are unhealthy relationships, 13 00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:24.280 and plenty of people are in them. 14 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:31.200 It is not love. It is not love. It is 15 00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:32.879 not the way to love. 16 00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:40.959 People who are obsessive, possessive, and controlling have many unresolved 17 00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:44.680 inner issues surrounding pain and hurt. 18 00:01:48.519 --> 00:01:52.040 Where it comes from, I don't know, but I know 19 00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:53.439 for a fact. 20 00:01:55.400 --> 00:02:03.640 That they have unresolved issues that are affecting them so bad. 21 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:11.280 It has affected them mentally. It has led to many insecurities. 22 00:02:12.680 --> 00:02:16.360 It has led them to not be able to love themselves. 23 00:02:16.639 --> 00:02:19.759 A person who love his or herself will not treat 24 00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:26.680 others that way. People who are immature, don't love themselves, 25 00:02:26.719 --> 00:02:30.439 don't know anything about love because they have not been 26 00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:33.159 able to love themselves. They have not gotten to that 27 00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:38.840 level of understanding that loving yourself is a must. It's 28 00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:45.960 a necessity to maneuver through life in a healthy way. 29 00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:49.240 It is necessary. 30 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:53.000 So a lot of people don't understand when they get 31 00:02:53.039 --> 00:02:54.080 into relationships. 32 00:02:54.240 --> 00:02:56.319 They get into relationships based on sex. 33 00:02:56.560 --> 00:03:01.159 They get into relationships based on looks, based on possessions 34 00:03:01.560 --> 00:03:08.240 and other things, money, titles, positions, All of that stuff 35 00:03:08.319 --> 00:03:15.759 is superficial. I just completed my book and I'm talking 36 00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:19.520 about a lot of this in my book. I'll talk 37 00:03:19.560 --> 00:03:27.719 to you more about that later. But when people are 38 00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:31.520 that way and then you get in a relationship with 39 00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:33.800 them and they do little things. 40 00:03:33.680 --> 00:03:36.360 Some people are so angry they do it outright. 41 00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:42.159 They'll curse you outright, call you out your name or whatever, outright. 42 00:03:42.520 --> 00:03:44.400 They don't try to be subtle about it. 43 00:03:44.680 --> 00:03:48.560 But others who try to pretend that they're one way, 44 00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:51.240 but they know they are another. They will shuck and 45 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:55.520 jive you, meaning they will play games because they want 46 00:03:55.560 --> 00:03:59.719 you to think that they are so loving and caring 47 00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:04.439 when they are really obsessive, possessive, and controlling. 48 00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:13.560 It's the truth. It is not love and it is 49 00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:14.680 not the way to love. 50 00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:18.759 When you are in a relationship, when a person show 51 00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:19.800 you who they are. 52 00:04:20.199 --> 00:04:20.920 Believe it. 53 00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:26.480 That's the best, I mean, the absolutely best advice. 54 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:29.319 Anybody could have ever given. 55 00:04:29.879 --> 00:04:33.639 Now, I don't know if Angela Malu made that up. 56 00:04:35.639 --> 00:04:36.160 I don't know. 57 00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:42.680 I don't know if that's her saying or if she 58 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:45.399 heard someone else said. I don't know, but that's the 59 00:04:45.399 --> 00:04:49.240 best thing, I mean, great advice. When a person show 60 00:04:49.319 --> 00:04:50.120 you who they. 61 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:51.399 Are, believe it. 62 00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:56.120 The reason people can't accept it or don't believe it, 63 00:04:56.240 --> 00:05:02.199 or they reject it is because of who they are self. 64 00:05:04.319 --> 00:05:07.279 You can't receive it because of who you are. You 65 00:05:07.439 --> 00:05:10.639 deny it because of who you are. You reject it 66 00:05:10.680 --> 00:05:16.040 because of who you are. You want things to be 67 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:20.279 the way you want them, based on your feelings, your wants, 68 00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:23.000 your needs that you. 69 00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:35.480 Have believed them to be. It's what you believe them 70 00:05:35.519 --> 00:05:35.759 to be. 71 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:44.439 But people don't even really understand at all that a 72 00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:46.240 need is different than a want. 73 00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:49.480 And most of what they want when they're. 74 00:05:49.319 --> 00:05:54.680 Immature and have not developmentally, it's not what they need. 75 00:05:58.120 --> 00:06:03.040 Now what you need, you. 76 00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:05.480 May not want it It depends on the mindset that 77 00:06:05.519 --> 00:06:06.040 you're in. 78 00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:09.240 Or that you have. 79 00:06:11.279 --> 00:06:15.360 A lot of people don't understand that. You can't see 80 00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:18.240 all the things that you want. You just got to 81 00:06:18.360 --> 00:06:24.519 have you desire, you have. All these emotions and feelings about. 82 00:06:25.439 --> 00:06:30.199 Are no good for you. The people are no good 83 00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:30.480 for you. 84 00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:36.839 But when you have not grown mentally, you may have 85 00:06:36.879 --> 00:06:40.040 gotten older in age, but you have not developed mentally, 86 00:06:40.519 --> 00:06:45.519 meaning you have not matured, you don't understand that, and 87 00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:47.120 you're always. 88 00:06:48.120 --> 00:06:51.439 Choosing against your very own best interest. 89 00:06:53.160 --> 00:06:56.199 So when you see a person who's trying to dictate 90 00:06:56.279 --> 00:06:59.800 to you what you can and can't do, who you 91 00:06:59.800 --> 00:07:03.360 can be around, what you can wear, what you can do, 92 00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:04.560 where you can. 93 00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:10.399 Go, that is not love. Stop thinking, Oh. 94 00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:13.040 He just loved me so much, he is so protective, 95 00:07:13.160 --> 00:07:15.360 or she just loved me so much, she's so protective. 96 00:07:16.360 --> 00:07:21.079 Boo boo. That is a sign a red flag. 97 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:27.839 When a person trying to tell you or dictate to 98 00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:32.920 you what you should do, what you must do, what 99 00:07:33.319 --> 00:07:42.680 you know, it's not love. It's not love. A lot 100 00:07:42.720 --> 00:07:47.519 of people are being fooled because they want what they 101 00:07:47.600 --> 00:07:51.040 want when they want it. They don't care what they 102 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:56.079 just want what they want and they're overlooking all love, 103 00:07:56.199 --> 00:07:58.759 the signs and red flags right there in their face. 104 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:05.360 They're overlooking everything because they want what they want and 105 00:08:05.399 --> 00:08:09.319 they're basing it on their own feelings, wants and desires, 106 00:08:09.399 --> 00:08:15.639 and not on reality, not on what's happening right there 107 00:08:15.800 --> 00:08:16.399 in their face. 108 00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:21.519 So you ignore these things. 109 00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:23.879 Because you think, oh, he loves me so much, he's 110 00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:24.800 just so caring. 111 00:08:25.480 --> 00:08:27.839 No, that is. 112 00:08:29.399 --> 00:08:44.960 His or her move towards being possessive and controlling and obsessive. See, 113 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:48.159 they start off doing those things. The next thing you know, 114 00:08:48.399 --> 00:08:51.240 you're isolated from your friends and your family. 115 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.840 They don't want you to go over there. 116 00:08:55.159 --> 00:08:58.320 They don't want you to spend time, they don't want 117 00:08:58.320 --> 00:08:59.200 them coming over. 118 00:09:02.360 --> 00:09:06.600 And see, when you fall for that. 119 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:18.159 Crap, you continue to give up your power. You don't 120 00:09:18.200 --> 00:09:24.559 realize it, but they know it. Because abusive people are 121 00:09:24.679 --> 00:09:29.159 very manipulative. They like to play games, and they lie 122 00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:34.960 and they deceive, and they do things in flattering ways, 123 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:39.679 very flattering ways. They say things to you to make 124 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:48.080 you feel good. They don't mean it. They don't mean it. 125 00:09:50.559 --> 00:09:55.759 They will give you those manibolets and nuggets just enough 126 00:09:56.039 --> 00:09:57.639 to keep you where they want you. 127 00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:01.120 And the next thing. 128 00:10:01.200 --> 00:10:07.320 You know, before you realize what is happening, you are 129 00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:11.159 in a very toxic relationship, feeling trapped. 130 00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:15.759 Now you're in this relationship, you've given up your power. 131 00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:19.000 See, the more power you give to him or her, 132 00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:24.600 the weaker you become, and they become more powerful. 133 00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:26.519 You become. 134 00:10:28.200 --> 00:10:34.279 Weaker, and they become more powerful because you have given them. 135 00:10:35.320 --> 00:10:40.879 You really gish your power to them, so they will 136 00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:44.039 do whatever they want to do because you have given 137 00:10:44.080 --> 00:10:48.080 them the power to do so. Now you're weak and 138 00:10:48.600 --> 00:10:51.360 you're afraid, you're feeling trapped. 139 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:53.600 But you are the one. 140 00:10:53.399 --> 00:10:57.240 Who created that in your life. See, that person was 141 00:10:57.320 --> 00:10:59.440 already a monster, you just didn't know it. 142 00:11:00.120 --> 00:11:03.080 You bring it into your life when you allow it in. 143 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:08.240 You create that muster in your life. You of free 144 00:11:08.279 --> 00:11:12.000 will because you thought it was love. You thought he 145 00:11:12.200 --> 00:11:14.919 was who you wanted or she was who you wanted. 146 00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:19.360 But you didn't understand that they were a monster, and 147 00:11:19.399 --> 00:11:24.200 you were creating that muster into your life. That's what 148 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:29.320 people do, That's what we humans do. We are the 149 00:11:29.399 --> 00:11:32.600 creators in our lives. We are the one who create 150 00:11:32.639 --> 00:11:35.879 the monsters in our lives. And sometimes those musters are 151 00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:43.799 our own children, They are our siblings, our parents, friends 152 00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:49.960 and other people. Because whatever power you give is the 153 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:51.399 power that will be taken. 154 00:11:54.120 --> 00:11:59.159 It's a fact. It is the truth. And I know 155 00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:02.600 the truth hurts, but it is the truth. 156 00:12:03.360 --> 00:12:08.960 So when you allow people to come into your life. 157 00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:11.480 And do whatever. 158 00:12:12.639 --> 00:12:15.480 You put them in that position, they gonna play the 159 00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:24.440 role that you gave them. Point blank, it is you 160 00:12:24.600 --> 00:12:27.960 who give up your power. So when when when people 161 00:12:28.039 --> 00:12:32.399 tell you you can't do this, you can't a grown person, 162 00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:37.399 another adult tell you what you care that can't do 163 00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:40.399 because that's who you're seeing, or you'll know you're dating 164 00:12:40.440 --> 00:12:43.879 that person and you think it's cute. 165 00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:49.600 I promise you the saying is true. What makes you cry, 166 00:12:50.159 --> 00:12:52.840 I mean, I'm sorry, let me get it right. What 167 00:12:53.039 --> 00:12:54.240 makes you laugh. 168 00:12:55.559 --> 00:13:02.600 Will be the same thing that makes you cry later. Guarantee. 169 00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:07.519 Promise you could take that check and deposit it. The 170 00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:10.840 very thing that you would just keep kidding. 171 00:13:10.440 --> 00:13:14.399 And oh you were so happy. 172 00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:18.440 Oh he's so sweet, Oh she's so sweet. The very 173 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:22.720 thing that made you laugh will make you cry when 174 00:13:22.759 --> 00:13:25.759 it's wrong, when it's not right, when it's done the 175 00:13:25.799 --> 00:13:30.720 wrong way. I promise you you can mark it on 176 00:13:30.759 --> 00:13:34.480 the calendar. Baby, it is going to make you cry later. 177 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:39.559 So I'm just saying those people who's trying to tell you, 178 00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:42.440 who's trying to tell you what to do, and all 179 00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:47.759 of this stuff, you better be very, very leary and 180 00:13:47.919 --> 00:13:54.639 careful because, as I said, the more power you give 181 00:13:54.840 --> 00:13:56.320 is the more power you lose. 182 00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:00.679 You become weaker as they be come strong. 183 00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:06.840 Now, in reality, they are weaker than you, but you 184 00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:08.600 have empowered. 185 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:10.399 Them so much that they uphear strong. 186 00:14:14.759 --> 00:14:18.960 I'm teaching you something here today, whether you receive it 187 00:14:19.080 --> 00:14:23.919 or not, it's the truth. People are in your life 188 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:27.759 who you have allowed them to be, they will treat 189 00:14:27.799 --> 00:14:34.399 you exactly how you have taught them. When a person 190 00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:42.200 is always I mean don't want you to breathe. I mean, 191 00:14:42.279 --> 00:14:45.080 it's great being with who you want to be with 192 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:49.120 or who you are, you know, who you think you love. 193 00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:55.840 It's wonderful to spend time, but you know, sometimes you 194 00:14:55.960 --> 00:15:01.279 just need to breathe. You just I mean, some people 195 00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:06.519 are smothering. You can't turn left because they're there. You 196 00:15:06.559 --> 00:15:09.039 can't go to the bathroom. They want to sit on 197 00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:12.440 the edge of the tub while you poops. 198 00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:18.080 I mean that's overboard or everywhere you go they pop up. 199 00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:24.240 That is sign signs signs and red flags. Signs of 200 00:15:24.279 --> 00:15:29.000 red flags are not the same. I want you to 201 00:15:29.039 --> 00:15:33.799 think about that. Everywhere you go they pop up. First 202 00:15:33.799 --> 00:15:39.399 of all, they're tracking you some kind of way, so 203 00:15:39.480 --> 00:15:47.279 you have to be leary of that. Or they're always 204 00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:51.840 accusing you of something. That's because they know who they 205 00:15:51.919 --> 00:15:58.080 are as a person, they know the things they've done. 206 00:15:59.240 --> 00:16:03.039 Abusive people all these things, and cheaters do these things 207 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:06.759 as well, but we're talking about abusive people. Although cheaters 208 00:16:06.759 --> 00:16:11.200 can be abusive, but we're talking about abusive people. They 209 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:15.480 got all kind of tricks, all kind. 210 00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:16.879 Of tricks in the bag for you. 211 00:16:18.360 --> 00:16:22.120 And if you're not in the right mindset yourself, because 212 00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:25.600 an abusive person is also a broken and immature person. 213 00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:29.480 And if you're broken, you won't see what you need 214 00:16:29.559 --> 00:16:35.919 to be able to see. Most people are immature, but 215 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:42.720 they think they are mature, but they are immature, and 216 00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:47.919 they don't love themselves. I've told you plenty of times, 217 00:16:48.759 --> 00:16:52.399 just look at who you allow into your life and what. 218 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:54.759 You allow into your life, how you. 219 00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:58.200 Allow people to treat you. That's gonna tell you what 220 00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:02.200 you need to know about yourself. If you let people 221 00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:04.319 treat you any kind of way, that's letting you know 222 00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:07.240 you still have some inside work that you need to do. 223 00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:23.000 Significant others will treat you, I mean mad, mad, you 224 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:33.000 hear me, They will treat you mad, junkyard dog bad. 225 00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:41.079 Because you allow it. You fall for the oakie door. 226 00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:46.599 You are bamboozled because you allow your unhealed hearts and 227 00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:51.039 minds to lead you into bad situations with bad people, 228 00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:54.079 and you miss all the signs in red flags, which, 229 00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:58.279 by the way, are always there in every situation. We 230 00:17:58.400 --> 00:18:03.519 have red flags and signs in every situation, and not 231 00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:08.000 to mention your own intuition, but people will ignore it 232 00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:11.720 all to people who they think they want to be 233 00:18:11.799 --> 00:18:20.039 with until they realize, uh uh, I'm in a bad situation. 234 00:18:20.839 --> 00:18:29.079 It's scary. I'm fearful. People are living it right now 235 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:30.279 as I speak. 236 00:18:31.480 --> 00:18:35.839 You're in your relationships, afraid to leave, afraid to stay. 237 00:18:36.759 --> 00:18:39.200 But it is you who open the door to it. 238 00:18:39.559 --> 00:18:43.000 I've talked about this where people say no one asks 239 00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:46.279 for abuse, no one asked for it. 240 00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:49.240 Lies from the pillar hill. Lies. 241 00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:52.359 You signed up for it. If you allowed it in 242 00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:55.559 your life, you signed up for it. Don't tell me 243 00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:00.960 that you didn't see the signs of red flag. Hey, 244 00:19:01.279 --> 00:19:06.440 that falls on you. It falls on you, and if 245 00:19:06.440 --> 00:19:10.160 you didn't see them, you have to check yourself to 246 00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:15.880 figure out why something is disconnected within you that made 247 00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:18.799 you miss the signs of red flags of an abusive paper, 248 00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:26.480 an abusive person. I mean, I've told you I admitted 249 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:31.960 when I was young. You know, I was eighteen. I 250 00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:35.119 didn't know anything. I didn't know left from right. But 251 00:19:35.240 --> 00:19:40.519 I still did it. I saw the signs, I saw 252 00:19:40.599 --> 00:19:45.079 the red flags. But guess what I did went on 253 00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:53.160 and did it. I went on and did it. Worst 254 00:19:53.240 --> 00:19:59.759 thing that I could have ever done. 255 00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:01.599 Best thing out of it. 256 00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:05.440 Kids and grandkids, even though I done went through some 257 00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:21.880 traumatic stuff with one of them anyway, is still so 258 00:20:24.039 --> 00:20:27.519 you could still get good out of a bad situation. 259 00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:40.279 But the point is I saw the tendencies. I saw them. 260 00:20:41.319 --> 00:20:47.279 I remember vividly that I saw them, But because they were. 261 00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:51.880 Not directed at me, I thought I was safe. But 262 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:52.839 little did I know. 263 00:20:56.920 --> 00:21:00.079 And my children are good and grown and they have 264 00:20:59.880 --> 00:21:06.319 no clue what their mom went through. You know, I 265 00:21:06.359 --> 00:21:11.799 don't need to share it with them. I got out 266 00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:18.119 of it with my life safely. There's a lot of 267 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:23.599 people who don't. There are many people who don't So 268 00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:25.920 you have to see beyond the superficial. 269 00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:27.759 You have to see beyond. 270 00:21:27.400 --> 00:21:31.480 Your feelings and your wants and your desires and your emotions. 271 00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:37.240 You have to see beyond the fluff, the lies, the manipulation. 272 00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:50.559 The first sign run run fast and far. Stop meeting 273 00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:51.640 people and bringing them. 274 00:21:51.559 --> 00:21:54.359 To your house. Stop meeting people and telling them where 275 00:21:54.400 --> 00:22:00.519 you live, and all of this craft. I mean, if 276 00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:03.640 you should uber yourself to a first date or something, 277 00:22:03.720 --> 00:22:05.680 so they don't even have no idea what car your 278 00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:15.319 driver or nothing, parks somehere far away. Seriously, people are unhinged. 279 00:22:16.759 --> 00:22:23.039 People are toxic. People are ticking time bombs, waiting for 280 00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:30.880 the last straw, just waiting, no self control. So you 281 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:34.319 have to be careful who you allow into your life. 282 00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:40.359 I don't care how cute his smile is, those pearly whites. 283 00:22:40.839 --> 00:22:46.599 I don't care how pretty she is, how fine she is, 284 00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:50.480 or how fine. None of that matters. Do you not understand? 285 00:22:50.599 --> 00:22:54.400 None of that matters. None of that says they are 286 00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:59.759 a good person. The most beautiful looking person in the 287 00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:03.039 world can be the most evil. Some of them are 288 00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:09.240 the most evil. Stop basing things on looks and what 289 00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:13.920 people have and money and success and fame and all 290 00:23:13.960 --> 00:23:20.960 of that crap. Haven't you saw? Havn't you seen? Don't 291 00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:27.960 you realize some of the richest people are the most broken. Duh, 292 00:23:28.279 --> 00:23:37.200 open your eyes. No, seriously, too much evidence for you 293 00:23:37.319 --> 00:23:42.039 not to be able to see. But again, I do 294 00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:46.920 understand that when people are broken themselves, it's hard to 295 00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:50.720 see the truth. But I'm trying to tell you little 296 00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:59.079 things that you can look out for. When a person want, 297 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:01.880 you know, want you to dress how they want you 298 00:24:01.960 --> 00:24:02.480 to dress. 299 00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:05.319 It's not cute. 300 00:24:06.680 --> 00:24:10.480 It's not because I want you to dress up for me, baby, 301 00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:13.480 I want you to look good for me. 302 00:24:13.640 --> 00:24:13.680 No. 303 00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:19.759 First of all, you look good for yourself. Because you 304 00:24:19.799 --> 00:24:22.440 may wear something that they don't like, you have to 305 00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:27.160 look good for you. As long as you are dressing appropriately, 306 00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:28.359 you look. 307 00:24:28.200 --> 00:24:28.880 Good for you. 308 00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:32.519 If they didn't like it, hey, they don't have to. 309 00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:36.799 They didn't buy it. That's just my belief. You believe 310 00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:39.279 how you want to. But I do know if you 311 00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:43.839 let him or her control what you're wearing. Now, if 312 00:24:43.880 --> 00:24:46.319 you are a person who don't know how to dress 313 00:24:46.319 --> 00:24:49.240 you around, there are some people who just mm, You're like, 314 00:24:49.640 --> 00:24:53.000 uh no, You're not going anywhere with me dressing like 315 00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:57.119 that boo boo. So there are people who food don't 316 00:24:57.160 --> 00:24:59.640 know how to dress, and you might have to help 317 00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:03.799 them that area. But I'm talking about a possessive, obsessive, 318 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:06.759 controlling person who's trying to tell you what to wear. 319 00:25:10.359 --> 00:25:16.960 It's not love and it's not cute when a person 320 00:25:17.279 --> 00:25:21.400 tell you let me see your phone, or they want 321 00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:22.240 a snoop or. 322 00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:25.079 Let me smell you. I mean, it's all kind of 323 00:25:25.079 --> 00:25:27.920 stuff that they do. 324 00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:31.599 If you let them get away with it, they're gonna 325 00:25:31.640 --> 00:25:36.480 come back and it's gonna happen again. It's gonna happen 326 00:25:36.519 --> 00:25:41.319 again and again and again until you've lost all control 327 00:25:41.599 --> 00:25:43.400 because you let them get away with. 328 00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:50.400 It the first time. You let them get away with 329 00:25:50.440 --> 00:25:51.279 it the first time. 330 00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:55.000 When you're talking to a person and if they talk 331 00:25:55.160 --> 00:25:59.119 rough to you, are cursing you out when they're talking, 332 00:26:03.079 --> 00:26:06.440 I mean you better. You better step on the gas. 333 00:26:07.640 --> 00:26:12.160 You better step on the gas. I mean fast, I 334 00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:14.599 don't care what else, what excuse you have to make 335 00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:22.559 to get out, make one and never look back. Nip 336 00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:27.400 it in the bud before it grows. Let me say 337 00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:31.839 that again, Nip it in the bud before it grows. 338 00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:35.519 Because if you don't. I promise you. I promise you. 339 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:39.079 It will grow. It will grow, it will intensify, it 340 00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:41.960 would magnify, and the next thing you know, you're in 341 00:26:42.039 --> 00:26:53.079 an abusive relationship with an abusive individual. Obsessive, possessive, and controlling. 342 00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:57.440 Has nothing at all to do with love. 343 00:26:59.640 --> 00:27:00.000 Nothing. 344 00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:09.880 I want to share with you a poem that I wrote. 345 00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:16.400 It's called a Voice from the Grave, and it is copyright. 346 00:27:18.079 --> 00:27:22.160 Most people would look for love high and low, yet 347 00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:25.200 without self love, real love, they'll never know. 348 00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:29.599 The guy I thought I loved was a very violent man. 349 00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:35.880 His last attack on me, my body couldn't withstand, and 350 00:27:35.960 --> 00:27:40.799 during his abusive ways, I stayed far too long. As 351 00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:46.839 I became much weaker, he became very strong. He came 352 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:50.839 home angry, telling me not to scream or shout. I 353 00:27:50.960 --> 00:27:56.359 was punched, choked, and even knocked out. After regaining consciousness, 354 00:27:56.440 --> 00:28:01.079 I begged for my life, ignoring my place. He pulled 355 00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:05.279 out a big knife, sticking and slicing as I fell 356 00:28:05.400 --> 00:28:09.680 with a PLoP, blood pouring everywhere, as if never to stop. 357 00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:14.640 Out of all the beatings, this was the worst attack. 358 00:28:15.400 --> 00:28:19.480 I should have left long ago, never looking back. The 359 00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:24.960 embulence came from me on that day. Sadly, the paramedics 360 00:28:25.039 --> 00:28:30.000 called me in as da. I kept silent about the 361 00:28:30.039 --> 00:28:35.440 hell I had been going through. Leave abusive relationships before 362 00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:40.599 it happens to you. Friends and families were sad as 363 00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:45.160 they gathered in dismay, upset, and in disbelief that my 364 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:49.640 life had ended this way. Abuse is something that no 365 00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:54.079 one should ever tolerate. Get out at the first sign. 366 00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:58.440 Later may be too late. Don't be blind to love. 367 00:28:59.160 --> 00:29:03.359 Adhere to the signs that you see. It could literally 368 00:29:03.480 --> 00:29:08.599 be the death of you. Just look at me again. 369 00:29:08.759 --> 00:29:11.839 This is a poem I wrote. It's called a Voice 370 00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:14.680 from the Grave. And let me tell you. This poem 371 00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:20.319 is talking about a woman that died in her abusive relationships. 372 00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:23.759 But we all know that women do it to men too. 373 00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:26.759 You don't hear about it as much, but it does happen. 374 00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:31.920 It does not matter who. All it matters is don't 375 00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:37.799 let it be you. Don't let it be you. Get 376 00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:41.359 out at the first signs. Do not marry, Do not 377 00:29:41.559 --> 00:29:46.440 go deeper into relationships. Get out at the first sign. 378 00:29:46.839 --> 00:29:51.400 I don't care, little inkling, get out. They talk to 379 00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:55.880 you sideways. Go, I'm telling you, because it will only 380 00:29:56.279 --> 00:29:59.119 get worse if you don't nip it in the bud. 381 00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:05.079 What happens when you don't, you know, snip snip at 382 00:30:05.079 --> 00:30:08.319 these these flowers to prune them and all of that 383 00:30:08.359 --> 00:30:12.400 stuff they grow, right, same thing you don't nip it 384 00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:17.680 in the bud, it grows period. So I hope you 385 00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:23.720 have enjoyed this episode. Please please share, because we are 386 00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:32.000 living wicked, wicked times, evil darkness. But God is still 387 00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:36.119 on the throne, no matter what it looks like, no 388 00:30:36.119 --> 00:30:38.920 matter how it feels, God is still. 389 00:30:38.680 --> 00:30:43.480 On the throne. You have to open your eyes. 390 00:30:44.880 --> 00:30:47.839 You have to stop being a prisoner to your own 391 00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:52.400 mindset because, like I've told you several times, the enemy 392 00:30:53.480 --> 00:30:58.720 maybe on the outside, but the worst enemy against you 393 00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:08.480 is within. It's your own mindset, hands down, because how 394 00:31:08.519 --> 00:31:16.240 you think fuse how you feel, and that fuels your actions. 395 00:31:16.839 --> 00:31:17.720 So when you're of. 396 00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:24.480 An unhealthy mindset, you're gonna make bad choices and decisions 397 00:31:24.680 --> 00:31:29.680 that are against your best interests. Anyone who wants to 398 00:31:29.720 --> 00:31:32.119 reach out to me, if you have a question or 399 00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:37.319 a concern, please go to my podcast. It will have 400 00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:45.400 my email. I will respond. Okay, So thank you again. Room. 401 00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:48.000