WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.000 Now one of your pudding. I got a string going 2 00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:06.120 on here, something just cause my dog. Something killed your dog, 3 00:00:06.919 --> 00:00:08.960 my dog. We're flying through the air, over the tree. 4 00:00:09.039 --> 00:00:13.640 I don't know how it did it, Okay, Damn, I'm 5 00:00:13.640 --> 00:00:16.120 really confused. All I saw was my dog coming over 6 00:00:16.199 --> 00:00:17.800 the fence and he was dead. And once you hit 7 00:00:17.839 --> 00:00:19.679 the ground like, I didn't see any cars. All I 8 00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:38.320 saw was my dog coming over the fence. Sat, what 9 00:00:38.359 --> 00:00:42.960 are you putting? We got some wonder or something crawling 10 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:51.759 around out here? Did you see what it was or 11 00:00:51.920 --> 00:00:54.159 was it was? Standing enough? I'm out here looking through 12 00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:55.920 the window now and I don't see anything. I don't 13 00:00:55.960 --> 00:01:03.880 want to go outside. Jesus Quice, you better hello, get 14 00:01:03.960 --> 00:01:06.480 somebody out here when I'm out there. I thought of 15 00:01:06.560 --> 00:01:09.719 adventures about tex forty nine. I don't know easy ann 16 00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:10.159 out there? 17 00:01:10.319 --> 00:01:14.680 Yeah, I'm walking right head uh Part two, Finding Myself, 18 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:20.599 Chapter six. The years between the next several years passed 19 00:01:20.599 --> 00:01:22.640 in a blur of work in school and the slow, 20 00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:26.640 steady process of healing. Mama got her degree. It took 21 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:29.560 her four years of night classes and weekend study sessions, 22 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:33.000 four years of working multiple jobs while her body slowly 23 00:01:33.079 --> 00:01:36.280 recovered from the cancer. That had nearly killed her, but 24 00:01:36.359 --> 00:01:39.159 she did it. I remember sitting in the audience at 25 00:01:39.159 --> 00:01:42.719 her graduation ceremony, watching her walk across that stage and 26 00:01:42.760 --> 00:01:45.680 her cap and gown, and feeling something I hadn't felt 27 00:01:45.719 --> 00:01:50.200 in a long time. Pride, real honest pride in someone 28 00:01:50.280 --> 00:01:53.840 I loved. She cried when she got her diploma. I 29 00:01:53.879 --> 00:01:57.959 did too. I graduated high school without much fanfare. My 30 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:02.120 grades were decent, not great, but decent, good enough to 31 00:02:02.120 --> 00:02:04.480 get into the local state college if I'd wanted to go. 32 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:08.840 But college costs money we didn't have. And besides, I'd 33 00:02:08.840 --> 00:02:11.599 spent the last few years working. I knew how to 34 00:02:11.599 --> 00:02:14.000 hold down a job, how to show up on time, 35 00:02:14.520 --> 00:02:17.719 how to do what needed doing without being told twice. 36 00:02:17.759 --> 00:02:21.599 That seemed more valuable than any degree, so I kept working. 37 00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:25.560 The dairy queen gave way to a convenience store, which 38 00:02:25.560 --> 00:02:28.840 gave way to another convenience store, which eventually led to 39 00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:31.560 a management position at a gas station on the edge 40 00:02:31.560 --> 00:02:34.800 of town. I was good at it, good at dealing 41 00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:38.360 with people, good at handling problems, good at keeping my 42 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:42.000 cool when things got hectic. By the time I was twenty, 43 00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:44.639 I was running the place. By the time I was 44 00:02:44.639 --> 00:02:48.360 twenty two. I was managing multiple locations for a restaurant chain. 45 00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:52.039 I was making money, I was building a life. I 46 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:54.639 was doing everything society said I was supposed to do, 47 00:02:55.240 --> 00:02:58.400 and I was absolutely miserable. I need to talk about 48 00:02:58.439 --> 00:03:02.120 something now that I didn't talk about then, not to anyone, 49 00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:05.000 not for years. I knew I was different from other 50 00:03:05.039 --> 00:03:08.199 boys pretty early on, even before I knew the words 51 00:03:08.199 --> 00:03:10.800 for it. I knew something about me didn't fit the mold. 52 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:15.080 While my classmates were chasing girls and bragging about their conquests, 53 00:03:15.560 --> 00:03:21.280 I felt nothing, no interest, no desire. The whole performance 54 00:03:21.319 --> 00:03:23.960 of teenage masculinity felt like a foreign language I was 55 00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:27.680 supposed to speak but had never learned. I told myself 56 00:03:27.719 --> 00:03:31.240 it would change, told myself I was just a late bloomer, 57 00:03:31.560 --> 00:03:33.879 that the right girl would come along and everything would 58 00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:37.599 click into place. But the right girl never came. The 59 00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:41.759 right person did eventually, but it wasn't a girl. His 60 00:03:41.879 --> 00:03:44.680 name was Marcus, and he worked at the restaurant with me. 61 00:03:45.560 --> 00:03:48.400 We started as co workers, became friends, and then one 62 00:03:48.520 --> 00:03:52.560 night after closing, became something more. It was terrifying and 63 00:03:52.639 --> 00:03:55.599 exhilarating and absolutely right in a way that nothing in 64 00:03:55.639 --> 00:03:59.479 my life had ever been before I was gay. There 65 00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:03.319 I said it, three words that seemed so simple now 66 00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:06.360 but felt like a death sentence back then. This was 67 00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:09.800 rural Georgia in the early nineties. People didn't talk about 68 00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:13.719 things like that, and if they did, it wasn't with kindness. 69 00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:16.759 Marcus and I kept our relationship secret for as long 70 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:20.519 as we could. We were careful, always meeting in private, 71 00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:24.360 never showing affection in public, maintaining the fiction that we 72 00:04:24.360 --> 00:04:27.360 were just good friends. But secrets have a way of 73 00:04:27.399 --> 00:04:32.920 getting out, especially in small towns. Someone saw us, someone talked, 74 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:37.920 and within a week everyone knew. I lost friends. People 75 00:04:37.959 --> 00:04:40.879 I'd known for years suddenly couldn't look me in the eye. 76 00:04:41.079 --> 00:04:43.560 Coworkers who laughed at my jokes and shared their lunch 77 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:46.759 with me started avoiding me in the break room. Even 78 00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:49.600 some of my family, aunts and uncles and cousins I'd 79 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:54.399 grown up with stopped calling, stopped coming around, stopped acknowledging 80 00:04:54.439 --> 00:04:59.680 that I existed. It hurt, Lord did it hurt. But 81 00:04:59.720 --> 00:05:02.839 it all so clarified something for me. The people who 82 00:05:02.920 --> 00:05:07.759 left weren't people worth keeping. The ones who stayed, Mama Brad, 83 00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:12.000 a handful of others those were the real ones. Those 84 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:13.959 were the ones who loved me for who I was, 85 00:05:14.639 --> 00:05:17.519 not for who they wanted me to be. Marcus and 86 00:05:17.519 --> 00:05:21.079 I didn't last. He moved to Atlanta. I stayed in Somerville, 87 00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:24.000 and the distance proved too much, but I don't regret 88 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:26.639 any of it. He helped me figure out who I was. 89 00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:30.319 That's worth more than I can say. By my mid twenties, 90 00:05:30.439 --> 00:05:33.920 I'd settled into something resembling a stable life. I had 91 00:05:33.959 --> 00:05:37.519 a decent apartment, a reliable car, a job that paid 92 00:05:37.519 --> 00:05:41.199 well enough. Mama was doing better than ever. The cancer 93 00:05:41.240 --> 00:05:44.360 had stayed in remission. She'd gotten promoted at her company, 94 00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:47.079 and for the first time in my memory, she wasn't 95 00:05:47.079 --> 00:05:51.480 struggling just to survive. But I wasn't happy. I was comfortable. 96 00:05:51.519 --> 00:05:55.240 Sure I was getting by, but there was a restlessness 97 00:05:55.240 --> 00:05:57.839 in me that wouldn't go away, A feeling that I 98 00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:01.360 was meant for something more than counting invne and scheduling 99 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:05.040 shifts and dealing with customer complaints. I'd always wanted to 100 00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:08.079 be a cop. I know that sounds strange, given everything 101 00:06:08.120 --> 00:06:11.399 I'd been through, given my experiences with the sheriff back 102 00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:14.439 in Liarly, with the system that had failed us again 103 00:06:14.519 --> 00:06:17.680 and again. But that was exactly why I wanted it. 104 00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:20.920 I'd seen what happened when the people in charge didn't care, 105 00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:24.480 when they let problems fester because solving them was too hard, 106 00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:28.759 or too dangerous, or too politically inconvenient. I wanted to 107 00:06:28.759 --> 00:06:31.120 be different. I wanted to be the kind of cop 108 00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:34.639 who actually helped people. The problem was I didn't know 109 00:06:34.680 --> 00:06:37.839 how to make that happen. I was twenty six years old, 110 00:06:37.879 --> 00:06:42.040 with no college degree and no law enforcement experience. The 111 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:45.399 idea of starting over, of going through academy training and 112 00:06:45.480 --> 00:06:48.800 working my way up from the bottom, seemed impossible. And 113 00:06:48.839 --> 00:06:52.439 then I saw an ad in the paper corrections officer wanted. 114 00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:57.199 It said Georgia Department of Juvenile Justice. It wasn't exactly 115 00:06:57.240 --> 00:07:00.240 what I'd imagined, but it was a start. The Youth 116 00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:03.519 Detention Facility was a maximum security lock up about an 117 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:07.560 hour from Somerville. The kids inside, and they were kids, 118 00:07:07.839 --> 00:07:12.759 some as young as thirteen, had done terrible things. Murder, rape, 119 00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:17.319 armed robbery, gang violence, the worst of the worst, locked 120 00:07:17.319 --> 00:07:19.879 away from society until the courts decided what to do 121 00:07:19.959 --> 00:07:23.040 with them. My first day on the job, I watched 122 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:25.279 a sixteen year old try to stab another kid with 123 00:07:25.319 --> 00:07:28.839 a sharpened toothbrush. My second day, I broke up a 124 00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:32.199 fight that left two teenagers bleeding on the floor. By 125 00:07:32.199 --> 00:07:34.879 the end of my first week, I'd been threatened, spat on, 126 00:07:35.319 --> 00:07:38.160 and called names I won't repeat here. I loved it. 127 00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:42.279 Not the violence, I never loved that, but I loved 128 00:07:42.279 --> 00:07:45.720 the work. I loved trying to reach these kids, trying 129 00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:48.519 to find the human beings underneath all that anger and pain. 130 00:07:49.399 --> 00:07:52.439 Some of them were beyond reaching, too far gone into 131 00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:55.680 whatever darkness had claimed them, but some of them weren't. 132 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:59.000 Some of them just needed someone to see them, to 133 00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:01.920 listen to them, to treat them like people instead of 134 00:08:01.920 --> 00:08:05.480 problems to be managed. I worked at that facility for 135 00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:09.120 seven years, started as a corrections officer, worked my way 136 00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:13.800 up to supervisor, then assistant director, and finally director. By 137 00:08:13.839 --> 00:08:16.839 the time I left, I'd overseen a complete transformation of 138 00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:22.439 how the place operated. Less punishment, more rehabilitation, less isolation, 139 00:08:23.079 --> 00:08:28.720 more counseling. The recidivism rates dropped, the violence decreased. Kids 140 00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:31.560 who came in as monsters started leaving as something closer 141 00:08:31.600 --> 00:08:34.960 to human. I was proud of what I'd accomplished, but 142 00:08:35.039 --> 00:08:38.240 I still wasn't satisfied, because the whole time I was 143 00:08:38.279 --> 00:08:41.240 working at that facility, I was thinking about the streets, 144 00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:44.600 about the real work, about being a cop the way 145 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:48.080 I'd always imagined out there in the world, making a 146 00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:51.240 difference where it counted. I was in my early thirties 147 00:08:51.279 --> 00:08:55.679 when I finally made the leap. It was time Chapter seven, 148 00:08:56.200 --> 00:09:00.000 Badge and Blue. The police academy was harder than I expect. 149 00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:04.159 Not the physical stuff. Seven years in juvenile corrections had 150 00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:06.960 kept me in pretty good shape. It was the mental 151 00:09:06.960 --> 00:09:10.759 stuff that got to me. The laws and procedures and protocols, 152 00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:15.080 the endless acronyms and forms and codes. I'd spent my 153 00:09:15.159 --> 00:09:17.919 career learning how to handle kids who'd already been caught. 154 00:09:18.639 --> 00:09:20.200 Now I had to learn how to catch them in 155 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:23.919 the first place. But I made it through, graduated in 156 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:26.360 the middle of my class, which wasn't bad for a 157 00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:28.919 guy who'd never been to college. And then I got 158 00:09:28.919 --> 00:09:33.679 my first assignment, such as Georgia, population maybe a few 159 00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:38.480 hundred depending on who was counting, elevation three thousand feet 160 00:09:38.720 --> 00:09:40.720 up in the Blue Ridge Mountains, where the air was 161 00:09:40.759 --> 00:09:43.720 thin and the winters were cold, and the nearest backup 162 00:09:43.799 --> 00:09:46.799 was forty five minutes away. It was the kind of 163 00:09:46.840 --> 00:09:49.720 place that time had forgotten, the kind of place where 164 00:09:49.720 --> 00:09:53.519 people came to get away from everything or to hide. 165 00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:56.799 The police department consisted of me, the chief, and one 166 00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:00.600 other officer. We covered an area the size of some counties, 167 00:10:00.960 --> 00:10:03.559 all of it mountains and hollers and dirt roads that 168 00:10:03.679 --> 00:10:06.679 turned to mud every time it rained. Most of our 169 00:10:06.679 --> 00:10:10.279 calls were domestic disputes and drunk drivers, with the occasional 170 00:10:10.360 --> 00:10:13.320 drug bust or burglary thrown in to keep things interesting. 171 00:10:14.039 --> 00:10:17.399 I loved it. After years in the youth facility dealing 172 00:10:17.399 --> 00:10:21.720 with the concentrated misery of incarcerated teenagers, such us felt 173 00:10:21.759 --> 00:10:25.120 like freedom. I spent my days driving through the mountains, 174 00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:29.200 checking on residents, getting to know the community. The people 175 00:10:29.200 --> 00:10:33.080 were suspicious at first, mountain folk always are with outsiders, 176 00:10:33.559 --> 00:10:36.399 but I worked to earn their trust. Showed up to 177 00:10:36.480 --> 00:10:40.320 church suppers and community meetings, learned who was related to who, 178 00:10:40.919 --> 00:10:44.399 which families had been feuding for generations, which houses to 179 00:10:44.480 --> 00:10:49.080 approach carefully, and which ones to avoid altogether. And I 180 00:10:49.159 --> 00:10:52.399 met Daniel. Daniel was a deputy with the Union County 181 00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:56.960 Sheriff's Office, which overlapped our jurisdiction in places. We met 182 00:10:57.000 --> 00:11:00.200 at a multi agency training exercise, spent the whole old 183 00:11:00.279 --> 00:11:03.159 day partnered up for scenario work, and by the end 184 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:06.080 of it, I knew there was something there, something I 185 00:11:06.120 --> 00:11:10.399 hadn't felt since Marcus all those years ago. He was tall, 186 00:11:10.759 --> 00:11:13.200 dark haired, with a smile that could light up a 187 00:11:13.279 --> 00:11:15.559 room and a laugh that made you want to join in, 188 00:11:15.879 --> 00:11:18.600 even if you didn't know what was funny. He was 189 00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:21.519 from the area, his family had lived in these mountains 190 00:11:21.519 --> 00:11:24.559 for generations, but he'd spent a few years in Atlanta 191 00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:28.080 before coming back home. Like me, he'd found his way 192 00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:32.360 into law enforcement almost by accident. Like me, he discovered 193 00:11:32.360 --> 00:11:35.159 it was what he was meant to do. We started 194 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:39.559 slow coffee after shift dinner on our days off, long 195 00:11:39.559 --> 00:11:42.919 conversations about everything and nothing, the kind of talking you 196 00:11:42.960 --> 00:11:44.919 do when you're getting to know someone you hope to 197 00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:48.480 know for a long time. And then one night, parked 198 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:50.759 on an overlook with the whole blue ridge spread out 199 00:11:50.759 --> 00:11:54.480 below us like a crumpled blanket, he kissed me. I've 200 00:11:54.519 --> 00:11:57.200 been wanting to do that for weeks, he said, what 201 00:11:57.320 --> 00:12:00.600 took you so long? I asked, He laughed, and that 202 00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:04.120 was it. That was the beginning of us. We moved 203 00:12:04.120 --> 00:12:07.440 in together after six months, got a little cabin outside 204 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:10.639 of town. Nothing fancy, just a place where we could 205 00:12:10.679 --> 00:12:14.399 be ourselves without the whole world watching. Being gay in 206 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:17.159 rural Georgia was easier than it used to be, but 207 00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:21.039 it still wasn't easy. We weren't hiding, exactly, but we 208 00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:24.960 weren't advertising either. The people who needed to know knew, 209 00:12:25.679 --> 00:12:29.080 the people who didn't could mind their own business. Work 210 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:32.519 was good. Life was good for the first time, and 211 00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:35.440 as long as I could remember, I was genuinely happy. 212 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:39.120 But there was still that itch, that restlessness that had 213 00:12:39.159 --> 00:12:42.279 never quite gone away, and it had a name now, 214 00:12:42.840 --> 00:12:48.039 a shape, a direction, Bigfoot. I'd never stopped thinking about 215 00:12:48.039 --> 00:12:51.080 what had happened in those woods back in Lirely, never 216 00:12:51.120 --> 00:12:54.279 stopped wondering what I'd heard that day, what had charged 217 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:58.639 at me, and stopped just short of what killing me, 218 00:12:59.279 --> 00:13:03.519 scaring me off. I didn't know, and that not knowing 219 00:13:03.559 --> 00:13:07.879 had haunted me for almost two decades. I started researching again, 220 00:13:08.600 --> 00:13:12.759 reading everything I could find about sasquatch, about encounters, about 221 00:13:12.759 --> 00:13:16.720 the long history of sightings throughout the Appalachians the mountains 222 00:13:16.759 --> 00:13:20.519 of North Georgia. It turned out were a hotspot reports 223 00:13:20.559 --> 00:13:25.320 going back centuries, native American legends, modern encounters from hikers 224 00:13:25.320 --> 00:13:28.320 and hunters and forest rangers who'd seen or heard things 225 00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:34.279 they couldn't explain. I started keeping files, newspaper clippings, interview transcripts, 226 00:13:34.720 --> 00:13:38.759 maps marked with siding locations. Daniel thought I was crazy 227 00:13:38.759 --> 00:13:42.440 at first, but he humored me. Your bigfoot stuff, he 228 00:13:42.519 --> 00:13:45.360 called it with a smile that said he didn't quite believe, 229 00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:49.559 but didn't quite disbelieve either. And then a few years 230 00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:53.600 into our relationship we started talking about the future. I 231 00:13:53.639 --> 00:13:56.399 want to own land, I told him one night we 232 00:13:56.399 --> 00:13:58.720 were sitting on the porch of our cabin, watching the 233 00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:02.360 sun go down behind the mountainuntains, real land, somewhere we 234 00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:05.720 can build something that's ours. I've always wanted that too, 235 00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:11.480 Daniel said, Somewhere quiet, somewhere away from everything North Carolina. 236 00:14:11.559 --> 00:14:15.240 I said, I've been looking at properties up there. Land's cheaper, 237 00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:20.519 and there's I hesitated, there's what. There's a lot of forest, 238 00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:23.840 a lot of wilderness, the kind of place where things 239 00:14:23.919 --> 00:14:27.000 might still be hiding. Daniel looked at me for a 240 00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:30.679 long moment, then he smiled, Let's do it. He said 241 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:34.320 it took two years to make it happen. Two years 242 00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:38.120 of saving every penny of me cashing out my retirement account, 243 00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:41.720 of Daniel picking up extra shifts whenever he could. We 244 00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:44.840 looked at dozens of properties, drove thousands of miles on 245 00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:48.240 our days off, rejected one piece of land after another 246 00:14:48.279 --> 00:14:51.279 because it wasn't quite right. And then we found it. 247 00:14:51.919 --> 00:14:56.120 Forty acres in Caldwell County, North Carolina, rolling hills covered 248 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:59.919 in hardwood forest, a creek running through the middle name 249 00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:04.120 for a mile in any direction, and stay tuned for 250 00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:06.559 more sasquatch ott to see. We'll be right back. After 251 00:15:06.600 --> 00:15:13.360 these messages. The property backed up to thousands of acres 252 00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:17.399 of national forest, the Pisga, one of the largest wilderness 253 00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:21.440 areas on the East Coast. It was perfect. We closed 254 00:15:21.480 --> 00:15:24.399 on a cold day in November, drove up that afternoon 255 00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:27.919 and walked the property line, breathing in the clean mountain air, 256 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:31.399 listening to the silence that was somehow fuller and richer 257 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:35.360 than any silence I'd heard before. We did it. Daniel said, 258 00:15:35.919 --> 00:15:39.000 we did it. I agreed. That night, we pitched a 259 00:15:39.039 --> 00:15:41.840 tent near the creek and slept under the stars, and 260 00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:45.159 I dreamed for the first time in years of something 261 00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:50.080 moving through the trees, something big, something watching. But this 262 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:53.639 time I wasn't afraid. This time, I felt like I 263 00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:58.799 was home. Chapter eight, Whispers in the Wilderness. We lived 264 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:01.639 off grid while the tiny house was being built. That 265 00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:04.879 first winter was brutal. We'd set up a temporary camp 266 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:07.600 with a heavy duty tent and a propane heater, but 267 00:16:07.639 --> 00:16:10.039 there were nights when the temperature dropped into the single 268 00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:13.320 digits and we huddled together under every blanket we owned, 269 00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:17.080 wondering if we'd made a terrible mistake. Daniel had left 270 00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:20.120 the Sheriff's office. He tried to transfer to a department 271 00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:23.480 closer to our new property, but nothing was available, and 272 00:16:23.559 --> 00:16:26.679 the commute from Caldwell County back to Union County would 273 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:29.440 have been three hours each way. So he turned in 274 00:16:29.480 --> 00:16:33.240 his badge temporarily, he said, and taken a job at 275 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:37.440 a pizza place in Lenore, the nearest town of any size. 276 00:16:37.559 --> 00:16:39.600 It gets me out of the house, he said, when 277 00:16:39.600 --> 00:16:41.879 I asked if he was okay with it. And I 278 00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:43.840 don't want you to worry about me out here alone 279 00:16:43.840 --> 00:16:45.799 while you're still figuring out what you're going to do. 280 00:16:46.919 --> 00:16:49.600 What I was going to do. That was the question, 281 00:16:49.799 --> 00:16:53.200 wasn't it. I'd left law enforcement too, at least for 282 00:16:53.240 --> 00:16:56.120 the moment. My plan was to take some time off, 283 00:16:56.559 --> 00:17:00.279 help build the house, settle into our new life. Maybe 284 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:03.159 eventually I'd look for work with a local department, or 285 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:06.759 maybe I'd try something completely different. For the first time 286 00:17:06.799 --> 00:17:08.920 in my adult life, I didn't have a job waiting 287 00:17:08.920 --> 00:17:12.240 for me. It was terrifying and liberating in equal measure. 288 00:17:12.839 --> 00:17:16.440 But I wasn't idle, not by a long shot. The 289 00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:19.680 first strange thing happened about three weeks after we arrived. 290 00:17:19.880 --> 00:17:22.559 I was alone at the camp. Daniel was at work, 291 00:17:22.759 --> 00:17:26.000 wouldn't be home until after midnight. I'd spent the day 292 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:29.039 clearing brush and marking trees for the construction crew that 293 00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:34.200 would arrive in the spring. Exhausting work but satisfying. By 294 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:36.319 the time the sun went down, I was ready for 295 00:17:36.359 --> 00:17:39.279 a hot meal and an early night. I was heating 296 00:17:39.319 --> 00:17:41.319 up some soup on the camp stove when I heard it. 297 00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:45.799 A howl. It came from somewhere behind the property, deep 298 00:17:45.799 --> 00:17:49.559 in the national forest. It started low and rows and pitch, 299 00:17:50.119 --> 00:17:52.759 hanging in the air for what felt like forever, before 300 00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:56.799 trailing off into the darkness. It wasn't a coyote. I 301 00:17:56.880 --> 00:17:59.759 knew what coyotes sounded like, had heard them plenty of 302 00:17:59.799 --> 00:18:03.200 time in Georgia. It wasn't a wolf. There were no 303 00:18:03.240 --> 00:18:06.799 wolves in these mountains, hadn't been for one hundred years. 304 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:10.519 It wasn't anything I could identify. But I'd heard it before, 305 00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:15.039 years ago, back when I first started researching Sasquatch, I'd 306 00:18:15.039 --> 00:18:19.119 come across an audio recording from Ohio, The Ohio Howell. 307 00:18:19.160 --> 00:18:22.279 People called it a sound captured in the woods in 308 00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:27.359 the early nineties, never explained, never identified. It had sent 309 00:18:27.480 --> 00:18:30.519 chills down my spine when I first heard it. This 310 00:18:30.599 --> 00:18:35.359 sound was the same, not similar, the same. I stood 311 00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:39.039 there in the darkness, my soup forgotten, my heart pounding, 312 00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:42.839 and then I did something that probably wasn't smart. I 313 00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:46.839 howled back. Not a perfect imitation. I couldn't have matched 314 00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:49.799 that sound if my life depended on it. But close, 315 00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:54.119 close enough to be understood as a response, maybe close 316 00:18:54.240 --> 00:18:58.039 enough to say I'm here, I hear you, what are you? 317 00:18:59.079 --> 00:19:02.240 For a long moment, nothing, just the wind in the 318 00:19:02.279 --> 00:19:05.319 trees and the distant sound of the creek. And then 319 00:19:05.680 --> 00:19:09.359 from a different direction, closer this time, maybe half a 320 00:19:09.400 --> 00:19:13.519 mile away, the howl came again. I didn't tell Daniel 321 00:19:13.559 --> 00:19:16.839 about the howl, not right away. I wasn't sure what 322 00:19:16.920 --> 00:19:20.559 to say, how to explain it. Hey, honey, I think 323 00:19:20.599 --> 00:19:23.640 there might be a sasquatch living behind our property. Isn't 324 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:28.240 exactly normal dinner conversation, even in a relationship as unconventional 325 00:19:28.279 --> 00:19:32.160 as ours. But over the next few weeks, more things happened. 326 00:19:32.920 --> 00:19:36.799 Rocks appeared in places they shouldn't be, not thrown I 327 00:19:36.839 --> 00:19:41.039 never saw or heard anything throwing them, but placed stacked, 328 00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:43.720 sometimes in little towers near the edge of our camp, 329 00:19:44.519 --> 00:19:48.319 other times scattered in patterns that seemed almost deliberate. I 330 00:19:48.359 --> 00:19:52.440 found footprints along the creek, big ones, much bigger than 331 00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:56.519 any human foot, much wider than any bear track. They 332 00:19:56.519 --> 00:19:59.599 were partially obscured by dead leaves, like whatever made them 333 00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:02.039 had been t trying to hide its trail. But they 334 00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:05.599 were there. And then there were the lights. The first 335 00:20:05.599 --> 00:20:08.680 time it happened, I thought I was dreaming. I woke 336 00:20:08.759 --> 00:20:10.519 up in the middle of the night to a brightness 337 00:20:10.519 --> 00:20:14.400 that shouldn't have been there. Not moonlight. This was something else, 338 00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:17.240 something that lit up the inside of our tent, like 339 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:21.079 someone was shining a spotlight directly at us. I scrambled 340 00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:24.440 out of the tent, expecting to see what a car, 341 00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:29.240 a helicopter, I didn't know, but there was nothing, just 342 00:20:29.319 --> 00:20:33.039 the trees and the stars and a darkness that seemed 343 00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:36.279 somehow deeper than it should have been. The second time 344 00:20:36.599 --> 00:20:39.759 Daniel was with me, he woke up too, saw the 345 00:20:39.759 --> 00:20:43.839 same light, stumbled outside to find the same nothing. What 346 00:20:43.880 --> 00:20:46.799 the hell was that, he asked? I don't know, I said, 347 00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:50.559 and I didn't, but I was starting to have suspicions. 348 00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:54.519 The tiny house was finished in late spring. It wasn't 349 00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:58.000 much five hundred square feet, barely enough room for the 350 00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:00.920 two of us and our stuff, but it had running 351 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:04.359 water and electricity from a solar setup, and after months 352 00:21:04.359 --> 00:21:06.720 of living in a tent, it felt like a palace. 353 00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:09.880 We celebrated our first night in the new house the 354 00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:13.359 way you'd expect, a nice dinner, a bottle of wine, 355 00:21:13.400 --> 00:21:15.640 and then a long soak in the hot tub we'd 356 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:19.640 splurged on as a housewarming gift to ourselves. It sat 357 00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:22.599 on the back deck facing the forest, and as we 358 00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:25.559 relaxed in the warm water and watched the stars come out, 359 00:21:26.119 --> 00:21:28.319 I felt a peace I hadn't known I was missing 360 00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:32.920 this was worth it, Daniel said, all of it, the saving, 361 00:21:33.240 --> 00:21:36.799 the planning, the freezing our asses off all winter, this 362 00:21:36.960 --> 00:21:41.559 was worth it. Yeah, I agreed it was. And then 363 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:45.000 from somewhere in the darkness behind our property, that howl 364 00:21:45.079 --> 00:21:50.279 rose again. Daniel froze, what was that? Listen? I said? 365 00:21:51.039 --> 00:21:55.920 The howl held, rose, fell and faded, and then from 366 00:21:55.960 --> 00:22:01.240 another direction, another howl answered, and then another another. A 367 00:22:01.319 --> 00:22:04.599 chorus of voices rising and falling in the night, surrounding 368 00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:08.960 us with sound. Brian Daniel's voice was barely a whisper. 369 00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:13.640 What is that? I didn't answer. I just listened, my 370 00:22:13.720 --> 00:22:16.799 heart full of something that wasn't quite fear and wasn't 371 00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:22.559 quite joy, something more like recognition, like coming home after 372 00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:25.960 all these years. I'd found them again, or maybe they'd 373 00:22:25.960 --> 00:22:31.160 found me. Chapter nine, The Man and the Badge. Word 374 00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:34.839 travels fast in small towns, and Caldwell County wasn't that big. 375 00:22:35.559 --> 00:22:38.119 I'm not sure how it started. Maybe someone at the 376 00:22:38.119 --> 00:22:41.519 hardware store mentioned my background, maybe one of the construction 377 00:22:41.640 --> 00:22:44.200 workers looked me up. Maybe it was just the kind 378 00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:46.160 of rumor that takes on a life of its own. 379 00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:49.799 But within a few months of settling in, people started 380 00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:53.279 approaching me at the grocery store, at the gas station, 381 00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:56.279 at the little diner in Lenore, where Daniel and I 382 00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:59.440 had Sunday breakfast. Heard you used to be a cop, 383 00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:03.440 Heard you ran a juvenile facility. We could use someone 384 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:06.640 like you around here. At first I brushed it off. 385 00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:11.640 I was retired, I said, taking time off, enjoying life. 386 00:23:11.720 --> 00:23:14.519 I'd done my time in law enforcement, paid my dues, 387 00:23:14.920 --> 00:23:17.720 earned my rest. The last thing I wanted was to 388 00:23:17.720 --> 00:23:20.480 get back into the game. But the more I learned 389 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:24.119 about Caldwell County, the more I understood why people were asking. 390 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:28.160 The current sheriff was a man named Vernon Oates. He'd 391 00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:31.480 held the position for sixteen years, running unopposed in the 392 00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:35.359 last three elections, and in those sixteen years, the department 393 00:23:35.400 --> 00:23:38.960 had become well, let's just say, it wasn't what it 394 00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:43.720 should have been. Response times were slow, cases went unsolved, 395 00:23:44.240 --> 00:23:47.160 there were rumors of corruption of deputies on the take 396 00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:52.000 of evidence disappearing when it inconvenienced the right people. People 397 00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:55.400 were frustrated, people were scared, and they were looking for 398 00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:58.599 someone to do something about it. The first time someone 399 00:23:58.680 --> 00:24:02.640 explicitly asked me to run for sheriff, I laughed. I 400 00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:04.839 was in the feed store picking up supplies for some 401 00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:09.039