Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell. I'm Chris and I'm dead, and
my eternal punishment is to do this podcast where we
interview everyone in Hell, with the younger brother of Satan Clayton,
who is not here at the moment, but I'm oh, hey, Chris,
how's going on?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: Hey, feeling good?
Speaker 3: Limber?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, you're all sweaty. Oh I'm I'm sweaty. I'm wet.
Speaker 3: I'm oh man, I've just been cool. Yeah, no, real
cool man. It's super wet here. Feel this smell that.
That's hard work, Chris. Getting a head started on the
old New Year's resolutions, Chris, you know, getting getting started early?
Speaker 1: Yead? You join a gym or something.
Speaker 3: Something like that. A little bit different. I actually joined
a bit of a club. I'm on a rowing team now, Chris.
You know, I'm oh working out. You know, I'm getting
fit for New Year.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, that probably explains the sweater that you're wearing.
Oh you like this? Yeah, River Dick's Rowing Team. That's right,
River Dick's Rowing Team.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Represent you know we're okay. We're out there.
Speaker 3: Every morning, five am to five pm, rowing it up.
Speaker 1: You know we're out there.
Speaker 3: It's white rapids, but you would you would the white
is not from what you would think it is on
the River of Dis.
Speaker 2: If you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, those big white rapids, that's the ones.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard work out there, but you know it
takes a lot of like commitment and hard work, and
that's why I've earned this shirt, you know. Yeah, I'm
super proud to wear it.
Speaker 1: Just yeah, so people, I'm sure you've if you remember,
the River dis is a misnomer for the River Styx,
right right, it's it's just a river of Dicks, that's right.
It's kind of like winter, right, So isn't it kind
of cold to be I mean, I guess it's hell
so it's never cold, But is it really rowing season
right now? You know, the waters are a lot more tame.
Speaker 3: You know, the penises are much smaller, so they're easier
to coast through all the shrinkage.
Speaker 1: Okay yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Mean it is perfect growing season. And I'm super bad
proud to be proud of the team. And you know,
if our listeners at home, if they want to join
the River Dicks rowing team, you know, hey, you can
do that if you go to store dout getting worded
from hell dot com.
Speaker 1: We've we've got shirts, Chris, did you know that we've
got you got shirts? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we got great shirts, the River Dick's Rowing Team shirts.
You know, it's it's if you want to join the club,
you know, get a shirt. They're great. Hey, wear them out,
wear them out in public, wear them out to church,
wear them out to wherever you go to represent the
River Dick's Rowing Team.
Speaker 1: Who wouldn't want a subtle penis iconography on their chest
at all times?
Speaker 3: There's nothing subtle about it. It's just two dicks. I mean,
you got to you gotta see these things to believe them.
So go to store Dug and Murray fail dot com
get your shirt today?
Speaker 1: Oh in sweaters?
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is not a cheap ploy to get you
to go to our store to check out our other
merchandise that you might actually buy because these are actually
on sale.
Speaker 1: So so, what else has been going on in your life, Clayton?
Any business opportunities popping up?
Speaker 3: Absolutely tons of business opportunities coming up. I'm prepping for
twenty twenty five. Got a lot of things, you know,
in the works, a lot of pokers in the fire
and up your butt oh, you know. I actually haven't
looked at my Lincoln in a bit. So I got
some connections. Let me see, Yeah, got a Michael here, Michael.
Oh okay, let me see. Let suit a quick message off.
Speaker 1: Michael. So good to connect with you.
Speaker 3: I see that you're a sound designer, composer, and percussionist.
You're the perfect person for a business idea that I have.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 3: Oh, I have roughly five terabytes of Chris sounds, including burps, farts, screams,
and yelps. I want to make a whole album called
the Sounds of Chris. Let us get together and earn
ourselves a Grammy from Cleyton.
Speaker 1: Oh man, we just missed. It could have been marketed
as the Sounds of Chris mess or something like that.
We missed that opportunity. But all right, we'll think about
that one for the future.
Speaker 3: Let me see, I got oh, I got another not
another connection here, heart, let me see heart, So good
to connect with you on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1: Thank you for your support on Patreon. He's he's fallen
with us on Patreon. That's how I know.
Speaker 3: Actually, I cross reference to make sure that no frickin'
losers try to get in yesout paying their dues on Patreon. Anyways,
I see that you're a law student. That's perfect. I
need to start building a team of lawyers because I
want to sue the shit out of so many people,
including my brother Satan, Gambo, Chris and Chris for a
second time. Let me know as soon as you pass
the bar, so that I can sue the fuck out
of these idiots from Clayton.
Speaker 1: What would you sue me for? It's a civil suit, No,
it's criminal suit.
Speaker 3: Four buttons, shoulder pads of course, what psychological damages?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I damaged your suit.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I listen, you talk to my lawyer. All right,
all right, no further questions, your honor, I plead the fifth.
Speaker 1: All right now, if you want to join the amazing
business elite like heart, one of the many perks of
our hatreon is to get to connect with Clayton on LinkedIn.
That's right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a low low price of six dollars and sixty
six cents, you can support our show and connect with
me on LinkedIn. The business opportunities everyone who's connected.
Speaker 1: I'm sure they're just gotten new jobs, new they're profiting
big time. It's kind of like bitcoin.
Speaker 3: You know, it's really low and embarrassing right now, but
I promise you in a couple of years, it's gonna
hundreds of thousands of dollars come from this.
Speaker 1: No, Bitcoin's actually up really high right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, just like connecting with me on LinkedIn. Yeah,
just like heart exactly. He's gonna be up. He's gonna
be in the big leagues.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: Anyways, let's get you the show. New Year's coming up.
We'll get do any special New Year's party. That's right,
you know New Year's New. Wait, what do you see
a party? Like a New Year's party? We're gonna have
a New Year's party.
Speaker 3: No, have I ever taken you to a party, Chris?
If I ever go out to party, I'm leaving you
at home. That's like bringing your child to a party.
You know, Like, Hi, this is Chris, look at him.
Speaker 1: It happens.
Speaker 3: Sometimes people bring dogs. Yeah, dogs are enjoyable. I'd love
to see a dog at a party. I don't want
to see a Chris at a party.
Speaker 1: Well, then, what are we doing for New Year's What?
Speaker 3: We're gonna have a special guest on you know we're
actually two. This is gonna be our first episode where
we're gonna have two guests on.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited about it. That's not the first episode
we've had two guests on.
Speaker 3: What's our first episode in our new run of episodes
where we.
Speaker 1: Have two guests on.
Speaker 3: That's not even true. We've had two, excluding the one
with Black Friday guy because the other guy wasn't a
technically a full guest.
Speaker 1: This is our first episode of the New Year, which
hasn't started yet with two guests on. Whatever.
Speaker 3: Whatever, Yes, anyways, because it's thematic and it's the end
of the year and we're about.
Speaker 1: To begin a new one. New Year knew me.
Speaker 3: We're gonna have father Time on accompanied by the New
Year's Baby. You know dynamic do everybody knows them?
Speaker 1: Are they well? Father Time, Father Time, New Year's Baby?
Come on end, they're right upside.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, oh, you're ricky that I felt so many
bones pop while you were sitting down.
Speaker 2: You got a cushion for this chair.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately we live in hell. You could sit on my hand.
You can sit on Chris's lap if you really want to.
Speaker 2: It's kind of bony, but it's damp. Yeah it is.
Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, you're right on time, Father time. Am I right?
Speaker 2: Oh I haven't heard that one before. That's a good one. Yeah,
really really good, really happy to be here end of
the year, closing it out. Oh, gonna because you're gonna
dumb dune with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you done with the year?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Too many young people every year, more of them.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about the year though, Like, I mean,
has it been a good one for you? Father?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did I call you father or papa or what do
you prefer?
Speaker 2: I love it when you call me big Papa.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, big Papa.
Speaker 2: Uh, big Papa time, Big Papa time. All right, BPT
if you want your.
Speaker 3: Friends big Papa time. What's your what's your year in review?
You know, twenty twenty four? Looking back, like, what are
some highs and lows?
Speaker 2: Oh? It was uh, you know, it was another one
in the books. After enough time passes, they're all kind
of the same. Do you realize the older you get,
it's all garbage, Every year worse than the last.
Speaker 1: Was there anything that you like look back upon and
you're like, hey, that was cool anything, like, you know, jeez,
it was a pretty bad year. Huh, Yeah, it was
pretty bad year. Uh, it's a great year for me.
Let's see, did you think of one good thing?
Speaker 3: I mean, for this year, just one good thing, Just
one good thing, Big Papa Time.
Speaker 2: One good thing. Okay, okay. One good thing that happened
in twenty twenty four is that struggle. He's really struggling here,
going to google it?
Speaker 1: Yoh, he's googling. Oh, this is a bad year. It's
a bad year.
Speaker 2: Let me borrow your phone. My phone doesn't work. I'm
out of data.
Speaker 1: Here here you go.
Speaker 3: You just turned the camera on, Big Papa Time. No,
hold on, you just took forty snap photos just then.
Speaker 2: I gotta send a text. Okay, let me send a text.
Speaker 1: First.
Speaker 3: That's not text, that's the weather app. But it's got
a cloud. No, no, not like the cloud. It's like
that's just a picture of a cloud.
Speaker 1: That's that's what they mean, right, No, No, it's like
a metaphorical it's like the cloud is.
Speaker 3: Get out of the weather app. Okay, now, yeah, who
are you trying to message? No, you're calling the police.
Now please stop doing that.
Speaker 2: So I gotta send a message to Mother Nature. I gotta
let her know about something.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, okay, all right, on what platform? Text Chris, Okay,
you're on Facebook.
Speaker 2: That's how you send a text, right, Well, you talk
to people you can if you're you know, sure, sure, yeah,
go ahead.
Speaker 1: What are you sending to Mother Nature?
Speaker 2: A picture?
Speaker 1: A picture of what the river dicks? Your sums in
the way of that photo? That's just a picture of
big Papa's Big Papa.
Speaker 2: No, it's okay, it's a little Papa. I know.
Speaker 1: Oh you didn't even mess You posted as your status.
That's not how you send a text.
Speaker 3: Now you're googling how to delete a message, but you're
typing that as a new status.
Speaker 2: That's that's how you do it. That then someone will
see it and they'll they'll do it for me. Let's
just take this this photo for you, big Papa time.
We'll just write off this year as kind of a this. Yeah,
it's not good. How long does this show normally run?
I got a hot date. I gotta go see Mother
Nature later.
Speaker 3: Thirty minutes, i'd say, right, roughly, Chris, Yeah, roughly. I
mean we actually got you at the perfect time, because
you're gonna be here when the you know, New Year's Eve,
you know countdown happens. So I'm sure that's an exciting
time for you. Right.
Speaker 2: Uh, yeah, I guess you had another one for the
record books. He'll be here soon New Year's Baby. Don't
worry about him.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's not here right now. He must be is
he being baby said? Or he's on his way?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right.
Speaker 1: So it's like mother nature. Is that like you'll have
a thing?
Speaker 2: Yeah, on again, off again sometimes on again. Yeah, it's
a yah. We keep it casual. Keep it casual.
Speaker 1: You don't want to put any any labels on anything?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, labels are terrible, just like this year.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and that makes sense. So Father, Papa Big
Time whatever your name is. Uh, what can you tell
us if you have like powers and stuff like that,
Like what makes you Big Papa Time?
Speaker 1: Like, what does that involve?
Speaker 2: Oh? It's uh, it's tiring. I can I see it all.
I see everything, past, present, future. It's all happening at
the same time.
Speaker 1: Oh, like, right now, you're experiencing time, but in other places,
in another times.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm everywhere every time. I'm here right
now talking to you. I'm in the seventies and Studio
fifty four. Oh, and I'm also in the twenty seventies
and Studio fifty five. Oh, one hundred years went up
one number.
Speaker 1: Studio fifty five. I haven't heard about that.
Speaker 2: Oh you will eventually. Well, we're gonna get there. It's coming.
Speaker 1: So you can see into the future.
Speaker 2: Yes, but it's not so much seeing as I'm there. Oh,
I'm experiencing it.
Speaker 1: So you knew nine to eleven was coming. Yeah, why
did you like warn us? This is a pretty big power.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was. I was really busy that year.
Speaker 1: It's going on. In two thousand and one, Backstreet.
Speaker 2: Boys concerts were everywhere. I was going between Backstreet Boys
and in Sync concerts and oh, I have to return
all my dvics. You didn't return those, you threw them
in the trash. But you know, same thing.
Speaker 1: You didn't warn us about nine eleve of it because
you were seeing concerts, but you knew it was coming.
Speaker 2: Come on, it was the pack Street Boys in seeing
it's a golden era that only happens once.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think they're still actually touring to this
date because they're like trying to cash in. Yeah, so
I mean, technically you're wrong.
Speaker 2: They're in twenty twenty four. So it's terrible.
Speaker 1: I want to return back to this. But how long
do they go for? How long do they stay performing
live events?
Speaker 2: Oh, they'll be at Studio fifty five. I see them
every night.
Speaker 1: Okay, so was it an inside job? Can you tell
us that.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say jet Field doesn't melt steel beams. That's
all you know. Think about it. I've got some documentaries
we can share.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, how far back can you go? I mean,
were you around for like pyramids and stuff? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was there. Didn't think it was a big deal,
but of course, you know, everyone's like latched onto that
even before that, as soon as time was invented. I
was there.
Speaker 1: So were you just like there all of a sudden.
What's your first memory, big Papa?
Speaker 2: Oh you remember? That's good? And we rub your head.
Speaker 1: That's a good boy, Chris, you don't have to touch
you got nice hair.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tussle it. My first memory was floating around
in nothingness. Yeah, in awe of everything, in awe of
all of creation. And I must have opened my mouth
at the wrong time and swallowed a black hole. Ooh
right in it got stuck in my teeth. I was
trying to spit it out. But you know, I was
just like really jammed in there.
Speaker 1: So you're you weren't born like some celestial being.
Speaker 3: You were just kind of floating like an asshole in space,
and then you swelled a black hole.
Speaker 1: That kind of just gave me your powers.
Speaker 2: I would say I was floating in space. Don't if
i'd say floating asshole in space, that's a little that's
a little rude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry. That's how you have your powers. Those
because the temporal.
Speaker 3: Imbalances caused by digesting a black hole.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if I take enough tums that can get it
to subside for a little bit. I just gotta like
power through them. It's better that the black hole absorbs
the tombs than my intestines.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So what does that black hole feel like inside?
Is it like having a giant shit or like is
it like a like a kidney stone?
Speaker 1: Like what is that sensation?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you pass it? Can you pass a
black hole?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's like a intense gas pain, just like doubles you
over and you're like, oh, I gotta run for the toy.
No black hole.
Speaker 1: So how accurate was Interstellar on black holes?
Speaker 2: I don't know Matthew McConney didn't swallow it, So I
don't know.
Speaker 1: Cool, cool, back to experiencing like history.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, like you said, you're yo, I'm
back in the seventies partying it up in the studio
fifty four. So like, what else are you experiencing like
right now? Like what are some other things that you
are currently going through while also talking to us?
Speaker 2: You know, it's everything all at once.
Speaker 1: I've seen that movie. That's a great movie. So you're
watching everything everywhere, all at once.
Speaker 2: No, shut up, Chris, I knew that was coming. I
saw that well before you did. Chris Kennedy getting shot.
The stock market crash, the Great Depression.
Speaker 1: Wait, what stock market crash?
Speaker 2: All of them? Oh, the next one's going to surprise you.
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: No, No, come on, give us some insider trading. Yeah,
it's not illegal, right if it's from Big Papa time,
just give us ends.
Speaker 2: Yeah. All I'm going to say is make sure you
sell all your bitcoin. Oh, get rid of it.
Speaker 1: What time are you speaking of right now?
Speaker 2: Twenty two seventy three.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's not going to be relevant to a lot
of our audience, because they'll be You gotta hurry. You
don't have much time. We gotta hurry up until before
twenty seventy three. Okay, twenty two seventy three, twenty two.
Speaker 3: Sorry, oh sorry, So you were there for the Kennedy assassination,
Like yeah, well, I mean, what vantage point did you
have on that? Like can you can you give us
more insight on what what went down?
Speaker 2: It was good. I was watching from above. Its good,
keeping an eye on things. I was in the book depository.
Oh there was like this guy really rude, shoved me
out of the way and came up to the window.
He wanted to take a look, and then he ran
out the door, ran out of the building, a real jerk.
Terrible day.
Speaker 1: Did you hear any Like pops like loud pops and he.
Speaker 2: On pops, I'm big Papa, big Papa time BPT. In
my day, you learned a lot because life was tough.
You had all kinds of diseases you've gotten rid of now, Like, well,
I hear Polly was coming back. So you know, maybe
you guys are bringing some of the old stuff. Like
maybe you're listening, you're learning, or maybe you're not. But uh, yeah,
we had we had a lot more to learn from
when we were kids.
Speaker 1: So you missed polio.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that was a Those are good times. Those
are great.
Speaker 1: Well not to get better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, by the way, Oh wow, I mean look at
the time, maybe we got we got a couple of
minutes until you.
Speaker 1: Know, the big moment.
Speaker 2: No really?
Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, you don't look happy about that.
Speaker 2: I mean, is it yeah?
Speaker 1: Is it not like fun?
Speaker 3: I mean, this is like if the easter Buddy is
on Easter. You know, this is like your big day,
this is your time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I gotta do stuff. I guess you know. I'm
just tired. I'm just so tired.
Speaker 1: So world War One, right, Franz Ferdinand?
Speaker 2: Right, great band?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like I'm talking about like think think back
in the thirties. That was the teens.
Speaker 2: Oh shoot, are we talking World War One to World
War Two?
Speaker 1: Chris? Yeah, Chris, come on, Chris read a book. Sorry.
When Franz Ferdinand got assassinated, right, is there a reason
why you know you didn't do anything to stop that,
so that you know, avoided World War One.
Speaker 2: I'm an observer, Chris, always destined to watch. I can't
can't interfere too much. Things. Things happen the way they're
supposed to happen. And you know, if Franz Ferdinand's supposed
to get got, he's gonna get caught.
Speaker 1: You're saying that you can't do anything.
Speaker 3: You know, your hands are tied, and you're just an observer, Like,
has there ever been a time in history where you've
actually intervened?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not supposed to, but I guess it happens
every now and then.
Speaker 3: Sure, is there any like historical instances or examples that
you can tell us about?
Speaker 2: Okay, centuries ago, I was in China, Okay, uh huh.
I got really mad and I wanted to get my
revenge on some local government officials, and I started a
rumor that there were some mongols coming to invade. Yeah,
and everyone got all in a huff, and they built
some big stupid wall because of it. Some dummies.
Speaker 1: Wait, so you you were responsible for the Great Wall
of China's.
Speaker 2: I mean it's an okay wall, but what does it
really stop, right? I mean, you just go around a wall,
stupid fair.
Speaker 1: That was just a prank, Just a prank, bro.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, all right, getting back of them. That's what
you get. You mess up father time you build a
big stupid wall.
Speaker 3: What were you doing like during the plague? I mean
I know that you couldn't have intervened, but like you
would have like known the ingredient for like purel hand sanitizer.
Could you have not have just done anything? Anything at all?
I mean so many people died.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Alcohol was in short supply back then, and
drinking most of it, so I didn't really have any spare,
you know, I had enough to keep me tipsy and
to keep my hands clean.
Speaker 1: Well what are they clean? Are your hands clean? If
you're also just like letting all these terrible things happen?
It's a good point.
Speaker 2: I didn't cause them. The only thing I did was
I made some people build a wall. That's just pure
innocent fun. You know, if some rats come along and
spread some disease, hey, what's a few million people did?
Speaker 1: Sure? Sure, Wow you're a monster.
Speaker 3: Oh hey, look at the time though, whoa wow? I
think it's about countdown time? All right, Hey, everybody get
your party blowers, all right?
Speaker 2: Five four three two one?
Speaker 1: Oh, good pip of time.
Speaker 3: There's something bursting out of his chest. He's just he's
just a pile of skin and robes.
Speaker 1: Do you hear that that's a a baby in there.
Chriss looks up that baby. Looks up that baby.
Speaker 3: It's horrifying look at it. It's oh oh, it's just
staring at us.
Speaker 1: So those big.
Speaker 3: Eyes, Oh my god, hello, yeah, oh my god, big
pop of time?
Speaker 2: You're little? Now? What is this?
Speaker 1: What happens? This is like a Benjamin button, but you
still look like wrinkly.
Speaker 2: It's a new year, knew me. I got my glow up.
I'm ready to rise up this new year.
Speaker 1: What are you father time? Or are you the New
Year's baby? Are you both? Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, cap I'm the New Year's baby. It's time to
kick off twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: You guys are the same person all along.
Speaker 3: I guess this is a misconception that you were two
separate entities.
Speaker 1: So why do you look old? Like? Why is your
face all wrinkly?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're like in a baby body, but old
face fielding some real high key judgment from you, Chris,
I don't know what that means. This is my drip.
That's just what I roll around with. Okay.
Speaker 1: Is this something to do with the black hole inside
of you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I guess it. Uh wraps me up, takes the
outsides in and the inside's out, and here we go.
Speaker 1: So every year, at the strike of midnight, transitioning into
a new year, you just transform from an old man
into a baby and then you just started new.
Speaker 2: Yep, darting all over. It hurts, but in the end,
I got admit slaps, Yeah, yeah, Do we need to
like slap to get you to start breathing?
Speaker 1: Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2: Like, Oh, no, no, I'm I'm breathing, I'm breathing. I'm good,
I'm got don donor. Yeah. Kind of kind of cringe there, Chris.
Speaker 1: It's it's weird.
Speaker 3: It's it's like watching like a one hour old baby,
but it's already like walking around.
Speaker 1: It's horrifying. This is a terrible sight.
Speaker 2: But has it giving you the ick?
Speaker 3: Okay, I think I low key have the ick. That's right,
New Year's baby slash, the big pop of time?
Speaker 1: Should we still call you big puppa time?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What do you want to go by? Now?
Speaker 2: You can call me little bougie.
Speaker 1: Little boogie, A little bougie. Yeah, that doesn't have nothing
to do with time. But you know, okay, little bougie,
it's a new year.
Speaker 2: Knew me good, try new stuff this year. Oh, it'd
be totally different.
Speaker 3: You seem to have like a bit of a different attitude,
different outlook on life. I mean, do you do you
partake in New Year's resolutions?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a spiritual reset and we're gonna see what
we can do different and better this year.
Speaker 1: Okay, what are your New Year's resolution? Do you do that?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Resolution number one gonna get rid of this baby. Wait,
you know this is this little freshman fifteen right here. Okay,
a little bit of weight I can drop. Gonna be
hitting the gym a little more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, cool.
Speaker 2: Resolution number two gonna gonna try new things, Gonna finally
build up the courage. It's been thousands of years. I'm
gonna finally eat a pair this year. This is the
year I'm gonna I'm gonna eat a pair. A pair.
You've never eaten a pair. They look kind of gross, right,
I mean we're friends here.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess, but it's just not really.
Speaker 3: You've been alive for all of time, for all of time,
and for all the time that will be.
Speaker 2: At first, you don't try something, and then after a
while it just becomes awkward and you're like I don't
like it. I don't remember why I don't like it.
This is it. I'm gonna do it this year.
Speaker 3: Okay, but like, all right now, I'm kind of running
into some confusion here, because if you exist throughout time,
both past and present and future, don't you know if
you're gonna.
Speaker 2: Eat the pear Clayton, I don't think I ever eat
that pair. You don't eat that pair? Okay, all right,
I never do. It's a resolution, but it doesn't mean
it's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, okay, So it's just like every resolution, Yeah, yeah,
pretty much. You're there, no different than anyone else's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, cap So what is this do with
your relationship with mother Nature?
Speaker 1: I mean you mentioned that, you know you were texting her.
Speaker 2: Before gross she's too old for me? Or off remember
on again, off again? Okay, we're now in the off again.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: I just didn't realize that it was that quick turnaround
for Yeah.
Speaker 1: So do you have like I don't know, do babies
date other babies or is it are you looking for
like a mom? Or like, how does this work? There's
a lot of people down here who did that, right,
I mean, yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Don't want to talk about babies dating, Chris.
Speaker 1: You'll have plenty of they're dating opportunities in hell.
Speaker 3: Oh god, what does the rest of your year look
like like? If you are a baby on January first?
But we clearly saw that you were an old man
December thirty first. I mean, do you just go through
the life stages throughout the year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's painful. Let me tell you, you know what
you want to know the worst part about it, Clayton,
what is it you have to buy new shoes every day?
Speaker 1: Didn't you have just held onto the shoes from last year? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they're not in style anymore. I guess halfway
through the year. You know, they stayed the same size
after that, but first half of the year my shoe
budget crazy, I blows up the whole budget. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby shoes are pretty cute looking, you know, Like.
Speaker 2: That's the problem. They don't make Jordan's in my size.
Speaker 1: So what do you do with the you know, you
got your big Papa remains here? What happens to those?
Do you like compost those or what? Now?
Speaker 2: You just set them out the holiday they come a
day later than normal. It slides, so I just put
it out on the curb in the morning and they'll
come along get it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, cool, so we're in charge of that.
Speaker 2: I wasn't even here for now. I'll let you guys
take care of it, and sure put it out in
the curb. Yeah, Chris, I'll let you deal with that.
And you're gonna just like push that over under your
side of the table. Yeah. Hold on, lef, my keys
are still in the pocket there. Let me go through
and oh, oh find them. Look out here they are.
Speaker 1: Oh can you drive? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely?
Speaker 1: How does that work?
Speaker 2: When I see my driver's license here?
Speaker 1: Look?
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, but it doesn't look like you at all.
So this was issued in nineteen eighty seven. Yeah, he
might be expired. No, no, it's still good.
Speaker 2: It's fine. I still drive that same car too, Pontiac
Fieriro love that car.
Speaker 1: Is there a certain point where you know old people
should be taken off the road? But now I'm like,
should babies be taken I don't No. Yeah, how do
you feel about old drivers?
Speaker 2: Ah, they're the worst, They're terrible. Get rid of them,
get them off the road. Pull over, Grandpa. Roads are
for the living.
Speaker 1: You drove yourself here, not thirty minutes ago.
Speaker 2: Though, Yeah, someone should are taking that guy's keys away.
Speaker 1: That was you. You you are that guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and now I've got the keys. I did it.
I made the hard choice. Grandpa, It's time to stop driving. Okay,
all right, young bougie, little boogie, little bouchie, little bougie. Sorry,
So what other things you have on your schedule?
Speaker 3: I mean, it's at this point, I don't know if
you even keep his schedule because you know exactly where
you're gonna end up in stuff.
Speaker 1: But yeah, what do you have planned?
Speaker 2: It's another big year, gonna finally do it, gonna make
world peace happen, world Yeah, world peace. Everyone's gonna get along.
Speaker 1: Highly aspirational. So no war this year.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. That's it. We're gonna We're gonna put an
end to it within twenty four hours at the start
of the new year. Russia's aggression in the Ukraine over
Middle East peaceful, uh huh, Israel, Hezbollah, all of that
stuff settled.
Speaker 1: Have you tried to have that as a resolution in
the past or world peace? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, every year, every year.
Speaker 3: Okay, And just like because you can do this, can
you look forward, you know, toward the end of this year.
Can you tell us if it actually happens or are
you just blowing smoke up my ass?
Speaker 2: Yeah? This is this is another pair situation, Clayton. I
have to break it to you. Okay, Okay, you're gonna
go just as good as the pair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no that I figured. I figured as much, a
little more important than the pair. I would say.
Speaker 2: They just seem so mealy, you know, like what's going
on in.
Speaker 1: There shape is strange. You're right, Asian pairs, you should
try an asient. Well you're not. You're not going to.
I don't know why I'm trying to convince you.
Speaker 2: Now. So that's what started the whole Great Wall debuckle pairs.
Speaker 1: They tried to get you to eat a pair.
Speaker 2: They tried to get me to eat one of their pairs.
They tried to trick me.
Speaker 1: What assholes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, it's a new year, it's a it's time
to get to work. I gotta go to work. Got
my car keys here, gonna go out and you know,
hit the road and get all these things done.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna let you go. And I know that
you're trying to get out of here, but you say,
get to work. I don't know what that means. We
still don't know what you do. You just kind of
am what things?
Speaker 1: What I am? You am?
Speaker 3: You say, get to work, but like you don't do
do you have like a briefcase, like what is don't
you even know what you're doing?
Speaker 1: Where you're going? Yeah, you have an office where you
gonna drive.
Speaker 2: It's remote work. You know, it's all in the cloud.
It's all web five point zero and uh it's an
based economy.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: You guys wouldn't get it. You're too old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so you're just gonna just drive around in
a circle. Yeah, like an endless loop. I think he's
just gonna go waste time because he has all of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna go drive around some walls, you know,
fun stuff.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, well, well we don't want to keep
you from that. Yeah, you're so busy.
Speaker 2: You don't know why I park my fiarro do you?
I mean you would I'll find.
Speaker 3: It, okay, okay, okay, all right, great having you on,
Little Bougie, Big Papa time.
Speaker 1: Big Puppa time. Tell him high whenever you see him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, see you all right? Bye?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he looks so weird walking away the fuck Yeah,
just he moves with such confidence. But he's a baby though.
It's just weird. I don't even know he's doing is
where is he? He just started the car and he's
just sitting there. He's just iidling it. He's avoiding eye
contact but not going anywhere. He's listening to backstep boys.
I can hear it from here. He hasn't moved. I
don't think his feet can reach the pedals, chriss. I
don't think he's gonna be moving for several months now.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be a long year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gonna be a weird year. It's gonna be
a weird year.
Speaker 3: But that being said, listeners at home, we are super
grateful to have you along with us on this ride.
Here's to another great year of good mory from hell.
So yeah, thanks for listening. Another year of hell. That's right,
that's right. We could have picked a better time to
come back, Chris. Any last things to say before we
get going.
Speaker 1: New year, New us. We're gonna be posting a bunch
of content on our Patreon, both under the paytiers but
also on the free tiers. Right, so go sign up
for Patreon. Even if you don't want to give us money,
sign up because you'll get exclusive stuff. You'll get more
exclusive stuff if you pay, but you'll get some other
stuff anyway.
Speaker 3: Yeah, as long as as long as we get you
over at the Patriot, we got a lot of cool
stuff popping off over there.
Speaker 1: We would just love to have you.
Speaker 3: Go to good Way from Hell dot com sign up
for free, or if you want to pitch us some money,
you know, just pay for a membership whatever.
Speaker 1: Cool, All right, Well, have a good year, everybody. Hil Clayton, thank.
Speaker 3: You guys for listening to another episode of Good Mourd
from Hell. We want to thank our special friend Gustavo Sorolla,
longtime friends, coworker, friends, friend from work.
Speaker 1: Thanks for being on, Gus.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, always happy to uh to be on with
you guys. Thank you so much for inviting me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you've been on and just for people who've
listened before, you've been on as Cupid twice and you're
also on as a dungeon Master, which was whenever we
were launching Tales from Sinky Dragon, our other podcast which
we are still making now and you should absolutely listen
to it.
Speaker 2: That one unlike this one is family friendly. It's weird
to be cursing in front of a microphone.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's so natural.
Speaker 3: Do you have any other stuff other than tell some
sneaky dragon that you're working on these days?
Speaker 2: Yeah. We have a podcast that we used to do
with Richiet called Anma that we're bringing back. We're rebranding
it as good Morning Gus. That's coming back in January.
I don't know if we've set a specific date yet,
but we have said it is coming.
Speaker 1: Back good Morning Gus. I like that huh title?
Speaker 2: I hate it? I hate it?
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 3: I think that the running gag is that it was
was it? Jeff wanted to name it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I fought it. Yeah. I guess now he
gets to do what he wants.
Speaker 1: So is this going to be on the same RS feed?
Speaker 2: You won't have to readlook for it or resubscribe, you
like if you're still subscribed to the old an Ma Fia.
It will just rebrand itself in the old episodes will
still be there, and then new episodes will start showing up.
Speaker 3: And speaking of the old episodes, they're they're awesome. If
you want to hear Old Gusts and Jeff stories. They're
a phenomenal source for that. Eric Badoor is on it,
and then they also just talk a lot about Austin
specific stuff, which I think is a lot of fun. Yeah,
because this is a very weird city and a lot
of weird stuff has happened here.
Speaker 2: I like, hey, just kind of give a throwaway comment, like,
and Eric Badoor is on it, all these positive things.
Speaker 1: Eric Son has been on Good Morning from Hell so
many times, so it's a very He's also on a
billion other podcasts. We don't need to promote Eric Badoor.
Speaker 2: He's a podcasting machine, it really is.
Speaker 1: So if you're already subscribed, AMA, don't do anything. If
you aren't subscribed, you'll look for either ANMA or Good
Morning Gus. And same thing with Sticky Dragon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Stinky Dragon pod dot com should take you to
the place where we can find all the information on that,
or you look for tales from the Stinky Dragon where
you get podcast. Campaign three is releasing now, that's right,
sign up for a free membership on tailshow SEEKI Dragon.
Speaker 1: That'll make us look good. Yeah, do that? Yeah, tell
him good Morning from Hell. All right, Thanks guys,