WEBVTT 1 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:04.960 Weird. 2 00:00:05.360 --> 00:00:58.320 We Welcome back midnight viewers to Father Malone's weekly round up. 3 00:00:58.759 --> 00:01:01.679 I am Father Malone and with me mimicking my voice 4 00:01:01.679 --> 00:01:04.959 and disappearing all over the room is missus ripley Gen? 5 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:09.799 How are you, miss ripley Gen? Fucking creepy? Welcome back 6 00:01:09.840 --> 00:01:13.319 to the roundup proper. We had a crossover episode last week, 7 00:01:13.400 --> 00:01:17.000 so let's get back to business. I injured myself pretty 8 00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:20.400 severely on an e bike left foot. What are you 9 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:23.439 snoring about? My left foot is immobilized for the next 10 00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:26.400 couple of weeks, which is incredibly painful, but also a 11 00:01:26.439 --> 00:01:29.920 wonderful excuse to sit around and watch movies. I know 12 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:32.319 you're not pleased with the current state of walks, baby, 13 00:01:32.359 --> 00:01:35.560 but it will improve. I promise. Is Superman going to 14 00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:39.319 save the world? It looks that way. Definitely gonna save 15 00:01:39.359 --> 00:01:42.519 Warner Brothers. First time. I've been excited for a Superman 16 00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:45.560 movie since Part three, and I can be forgiven for 17 00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:48.000 getting hyped about that one because the previous one had 18 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:51.959 Terrence Stamp as General Zod. Surely the Excellence train would 19 00:01:51.959 --> 00:01:53.480 continue checking down that track. 20 00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:53.719 Right. 21 00:01:54.280 --> 00:01:57.120 Also, I was ten. I've been a Michael Rosenbaum guy 22 00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:01.640 since Smallville As far as Lex Luthor. Yes, Hackman was 23 00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:04.120 great in the two movies, but he was bawled only 24 00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:05.680 as a joke at the end of one of them. 25 00:02:05.959 --> 00:02:09.520 Rosenbaum was freshly shorn each day, and he got to 26 00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:12.439 bring a depth and emotionality to that character that the 27 00:02:12.479 --> 00:02:15.240 previous two hour flicks couldn't hope to deliver. And frankly, 28 00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:18.479 what have we had since then? Rapists and creeps as 29 00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:23.439 Lex Luthor allegedly, Kevin Spacey and Jesse Eisenberg, these are 30 00:02:23.479 --> 00:02:26.879 our Lex Luthor's Now Clancy Brown has been voicing him 31 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:29.759 for a while. I believe Gean Carlos Bosito is doing 32 00:02:29.759 --> 00:02:32.080 his voice on Harley Quinn. There are actually way too 33 00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:34.960 many fucking good voice actors to single out any more 34 00:02:34.960 --> 00:02:37.599 of them. Plus I'm lazy, and those are the only 35 00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:40.159 ones I remember now. I was one hundred percent in 36 00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:44.319 favor of the continuing with Rosenbaum as Lex Luthor. He's older, now, 37 00:02:44.439 --> 00:02:48.039 he's wiser. He'll bring a certain gravitas to Lex. There 38 00:02:48.120 --> 00:02:51.719 isn't no one who could replace him. Nicholas Holt, hold on, now, 39 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:57.080 this fanboy needs to fan hisself. Every fucking image we've 40 00:02:57.120 --> 00:02:59.639 seen has looked great. He's had only a few lines 41 00:02:59.680 --> 00:03:02.039 so far are in the dozen or so trailers we've received. 42 00:03:02.120 --> 00:03:04.520 But the latest trailer is the one I've been waiting for. 43 00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:08.680 It's the Lex versus Superman trailer where mister Luthor is 44 00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:12.080 front and center. I was interested before, I am totally 45 00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:14.520 stoked now. The joke of Lex has always been the 46 00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:17.000 same as the one with the Joker in Batman. If 47 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:19.120 it came down a hand to hand combat, the fight 48 00:03:19.240 --> 00:03:23.719 is over instantaneously, so it's widely important who they cast 49 00:03:23.800 --> 00:03:27.520 as their nemeses. And for the first time since Rosenbaum, 50 00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:30.520 I think Lex can actually go toe to toe with 51 00:03:30.599 --> 00:03:33.159 the Man of Steel. You know how everyone's always droning 52 00:03:33.199 --> 00:03:36.639 on about how Batman is the smartest superhero I ever noticed. 53 00:03:36.639 --> 00:03:38.919 The Joker is always a step ahead of him. Anyway, 54 00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:41.439 I've encouraged everyone to go see the new Superman movie 55 00:03:41.479 --> 00:03:43.680 to save the studio. Now I'm saying, this movie just 56 00:03:43.759 --> 00:03:45.680 looks fucking great and you should go see it. Anyway. 57 00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:49.599 One last thing, that bubble looking Mega Man suit that 58 00:03:49.639 --> 00:03:52.240 they featured in every trailer. You know, it's flying around 59 00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:54.759 and it's heat visioning and punching and shit, it is 60 00:03:54.800 --> 00:04:00.719 not Henry cavill I will eat my shoe, my immobilizing boot. 61 00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:04.199 If it is anyone but the new Supergirl. They're going 62 00:04:04.280 --> 00:04:06.639 to task master her here. She'll be a villain for 63 00:04:06.639 --> 00:04:09.840 the entire movie and then whoops, look it's a fellow Kryptonian. 64 00:04:10.120 --> 00:04:12.800 Hopefully they won't blithely kill her in the opening movements 65 00:04:12.840 --> 00:04:15.719 of her own movie. Was that a spoiler for Thunderbolts? 66 00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:16.800 You're fucking right it was. 67 00:04:17.240 --> 00:04:18.040 Wait did you hear that? 68 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:18.399 Rip? 69 00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:19.040 Look Out? 70 00:04:21.199 --> 00:04:22.800 Pals from a Row. 71 00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:31.000 Got a letter from Shane Mackie talking about pulling out 72 00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:33.720 his old DVD's of Tales from the Dark Side so 73 00:04:33.720 --> 00:04:35.839 he could follow along with the main show that we 74 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:38.839 do on Fridays. He mentioned he got those discs at 75 00:04:38.839 --> 00:04:41.240 a convention back when it was a lot harder to 76 00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:45.759 acquire television shows, not everything was on VHS, never mind DVD. 77 00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:48.240 But he also wrote in to inquire if I was 78 00:04:48.279 --> 00:04:51.600 familiar with the television series Darkroom. For those of you 79 00:04:51.639 --> 00:04:54.639 who don't know, Darkroom was an anthology horror series hosted 80 00:04:54.639 --> 00:04:58.160 by James Coburn that ran on ABC in nineteen eighty 81 00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:01.839 one for one season. Actually watched every episode of it 82 00:05:01.879 --> 00:05:04.439 when it ran there's one with Billy Crystal as this 83 00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:09.279 low rent criminal who finds a makeup case from an 84 00:05:09.319 --> 00:05:12.160 old Hollywood star, and every makeup that he puts on, 85 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:14.759 he actually becomes that thing. I loved it. Anyway. There 86 00:05:14.759 --> 00:05:17.199 are a couple of amusing things about being asked about 87 00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:19.639 this show, Shane. First of all, a writer by the 88 00:05:19.720 --> 00:05:22.839 name of Rockney O'Bannon wrote a spec script for Darkroom, 89 00:05:23.120 --> 00:05:26.120 but the show had already been canceled when he submitted it, 90 00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:28.319 so he held on to it, submitting it later to 91 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:31.079 a new Twilight Zone series that was being put together 92 00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:34.160 in nineteen eighty five. That episode was Wordplay. It is 93 00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:37.079 one of the greatest half hours of television of all time. 94 00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:40.519 Never mind that one series, and Rockney O'Bannon would later 95 00:05:40.519 --> 00:05:43.639 go on to create SeaQuest in Farscape, and he's a 96 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:47.120 friend of the show anyway. Another amusing thing is that 97 00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:49.319 before we began looking at Tales from the Dark Side 98 00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:52.759 of this season, we almost did Darkroom, but we deemed 99 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:55.839 it too inaccessible to the general public. The only reason 100 00:05:55.920 --> 00:05:58.360 I have it now is that I bought it from 101 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:01.839 a dealer at a convention world. Baby, Thank you, Shane, 102 00:06:01.920 --> 00:06:06.120 and thank you for your kind words about miss Foxy Brown. Okay, 103 00:06:06.480 --> 00:06:09.120 what's with this fucking tie business? Let's get it on. 104 00:06:09.879 --> 00:06:13.519 Eric Idyl remains the samee Python these days mag In 105 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.360 nineteen eighty three he appeared in Monty Python's The Meaning 106 00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:19.639 of Life, and in that their final cinematic endeavor, he 107 00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:22.639 appeared as a piano man entertaining a crowd at a 108 00:06:22.680 --> 00:06:24.720 restaurant with this song. 109 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:28.399 Good even listen, gentlemen, here's a little number I tossed 110 00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:31.560 off reason to the cull. Doesn't it all be nice 111 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:34.800 to have a penis? Doesn't it rightly good to have 112 00:06:34.920 --> 00:06:38.199 it on? It's swell to have a stiffy. It's divine 113 00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:40.839 to own a dick, from the tiniest little taggia. 114 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:42.040 To the world's biggest prick. 115 00:06:42.920 --> 00:06:46.399 So three Charles for all, Willie or John Thomas. Who 116 00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:50.120 if your one eyed Charles, a snake, your piece of pork, 117 00:06:50.199 --> 00:06:52.720 your wife's best friend, your pussy or your cock, you 118 00:06:52.720 --> 00:06:56.519 can you can slip it in your sock, but don't 119 00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:58.360 take it out in public, or they will stick you 120 00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:00.480 in the dock and you won't come. 121 00:07:02.600 --> 00:07:05.720 At age twelve, i'd heard most of those names, and 122 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:08.680 dick and cock and prick I'd even heard at that 123 00:07:08.759 --> 00:07:12.680 tender age one eyed to trousers snake. John Thomas, on 124 00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:14.879 the other hand, that was a new one on me. 125 00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:19.639 Randomly specific John Thomas. Who was he? And was he 126 00:07:19.720 --> 00:07:23.439 renowned for being a penis or having a huge one both. 127 00:07:23.480 --> 00:07:25.800 As it turns out, John Thomas didn't show up in 128 00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:29.279 literature until around the eighteen seventies, but the phrase had 129 00:07:29.319 --> 00:07:32.360 been around for almost two hundred years prior. They think 130 00:07:32.399 --> 00:07:35.199 it was the name of a servant, initially a servant 131 00:07:35.319 --> 00:07:38.480 being an appendage of the master, plus time, plus the 132 00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:41.439 general dirty mindedness of people everywhere, and now if you 133 00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:43.560 name your kid John Thomas, it's like saying my kid 134 00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:46.600 is named Schlong, a fact that delighted me to no 135 00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:49.680 end when a rival for my late wife's hand ended 136 00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:52.519 up naming one of his kids John Thomas first and 137 00:07:52.600 --> 00:07:56.199 middle name. Oh boy, such good times. I still love it, 138 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:59.279 as amused as I was to learn that it does 139 00:07:59.319 --> 00:08:02.319 not compare to the fucking peals of laughter from fourteen 140 00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:05.600 year old me sitting in a theater in Revere, Massachusetts, 141 00:08:05.639 --> 00:08:08.240 as the trumpets are braying and the credits are rolling 142 00:08:08.439 --> 00:08:10.800 in what has been promised to be an all male 143 00:08:11.079 --> 00:08:15.959 action extravaganza with sweat and blood and bullets and jungles, 144 00:08:16.199 --> 00:08:19.040 and a writing credit comes up written by Jim and 145 00:08:19.240 --> 00:08:22.959 John Thomas. Oh boy, I so wanted it to just 146 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:26.360 be Jim Thomas and his impressive dick and not a 147 00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:28.399 couple of sibling writers as it turned out to be. 148 00:08:28.680 --> 00:08:31.360 Can you imagine the audacity of registering your cock as 149 00:08:31.399 --> 00:08:33.960 your co writer at the writers Guild? Which one is 150 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:36.879 doing the typing? People will wonder? You know it's Jim's 151 00:08:36.879 --> 00:08:39.360 doing the typing and John Thomas is just pacing around 152 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:43.600 and being a dick. Anyway, the movie is Predator. You've 153 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:46.120 read the episode description. I think it's funny. Every podcast 154 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:48.720 likes to play dumb in their introductory segments these days. 155 00:08:49.159 --> 00:08:51.320 What could it be, audience, He didn't click on the 156 00:08:51.320 --> 00:08:55.039 fucking episode name anyway? Predator by the Thomas Boys and 157 00:08:55.120 --> 00:09:00.799 directed by John McTiernan in his sophomore effort as a filmmaker, Diehards, 158 00:09:00.919 --> 00:09:04.879 John McTiernan Hunt for Red October's John McTiernan. If you've 159 00:09:04.919 --> 00:09:08.080 not seen his debut feature Nomads, I think you ought 160 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:11.039 to go watch it immediately. Helen Shaver's a doctor who 161 00:09:11.039 --> 00:09:14.080 treats this patient, who's a photojournalist that's been following a 162 00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:17.600 group of well nomads as they travel through the unseen 163 00:09:17.759 --> 00:09:21.600 twilight world of early morning Los Angeles. It is atmospheric 164 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:24.840 and creepy and cool, and it's got adam Ant and 165 00:09:24.879 --> 00:09:28.320 Mary Warnoff as two of the nomads, and Pierce Brosnan's 166 00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:31.840 so young and virile, and hear suit doing either the 167 00:09:31.879 --> 00:09:35.279 best or worst French accent you'll ever hear. Here's some 168 00:09:35.360 --> 00:09:35.960 of it now. 169 00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:39.120 The old man on that devakos to tell a tale 170 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:44.240 of the dangers of traveling far, of hunting alone. 171 00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:49.639 On the eyes, no one might no longer know what was. 172 00:09:51.720 --> 00:09:55.039 So mctiernan's directing. Schwarzenegger is the star. Carl Weathers is 173 00:09:55.080 --> 00:09:57.399 in there. Get to Da Chapa, you know the movie, 174 00:09:57.480 --> 00:10:00.360 and if you haven't, go YouTube Predator and to Jean 175 00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:03.159 Claude van Dam where you'll see him running around the 176 00:10:03.159 --> 00:10:06.840 Mexican jungle and what looks like an insect made of nerf. Yes, 177 00:10:06.879 --> 00:10:10.480 it is ridiculous, but remember it was meant to be removed. 178 00:10:10.759 --> 00:10:12.759 The creature is a stand in so they can do 179 00:10:12.879 --> 00:10:16.639 the invisibility trick that the Predator employs. Ninety percent of 180 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:19.240 the time. It is a dumb design considering what they 181 00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:22.480 landed with. But don't let that footage fool you they 182 00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:25.440 were making the same movie. Also, don't let that footage 183 00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:29.200 of Nick Cage and that ultra shiny Ledlitz Superman outfit 184 00:10:29.320 --> 00:10:33.279 fool you either. That was a fucking costume test. There's 185 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:35.759 no guarantee any one thing you see in that video 186 00:10:35.799 --> 00:10:38.840 would have ended up on screen, but that cocksucker Brian 187 00:10:38.919 --> 00:10:41.120 Singer used to carry around a still frame of that 188 00:10:41.240 --> 00:10:44.679 costume to silence anyone who is criticizing his take on 189 00:10:44.759 --> 00:10:49.320 Superman with that fucking horrendous Superman returns. Oh anyway, A 190 00:10:49.399 --> 00:10:51.919 couple of other bits of Predator weirdness. Did you know 191 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:54.840 that Optimus Prime is the voice of the Predator. All 192 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:58.000 those weird clicks those are Peter Cullen, who is a 193 00:10:58.159 --> 00:11:01.519 giant in the voice industry. Apparently he based the vocalization 194 00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:04.279 on the sound he heard of a dying horseshoe crab. 195 00:11:04.759 --> 00:11:07.120 I have never once in my life wondered what a 196 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:10.039 dying horseshoe crab would sound like, But now that I 197 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:12.600 know it sounds like a Predator, it actually kind of 198 00:11:12.600 --> 00:11:16.480 makes sense, doesn't it. Super screenwriter Shane Black is one 199 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:19.840 of Dutch's team in Predator. Before spending his entire screen 200 00:11:19.919 --> 00:11:23.120 time telling pussy jokes, Black wrote Lethal Weapon and The 201 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:25.039 Last Boy Scout. And I think he was writing The 202 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:28.240 Long Kiss Good Night around the time of filming. Apparently 203 00:11:28.279 --> 00:11:32.360 he was a spy on, said producer Joel Silver, installed 204 00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:35.799 him to keep an eye on still fledgling filmmaker John McTiernan. 205 00:11:36.120 --> 00:11:39.480 And I said, gee, that's kind of underhanded. That's kind 206 00:11:39.480 --> 00:11:44.000 of underhanded. Schwarzenegger's ballooning salary quote would keep him out 207 00:11:44.039 --> 00:11:47.360 of the planned sequel, so naturally they scrapped it and 208 00:11:47.559 --> 00:11:51.360 artistic integrity blossomed. Nah, they said, fuck it, the giant 209 00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:53.840 rubber suit is the star. After all, that first film 210 00:11:53.879 --> 00:11:57.799 wasn't called Dutch. Remember Dutch with Ed O'Neil in Perpetual 211 00:11:57.879 --> 00:12:01.320 Adorable Machine Ethan embry. Guy's like fifty years old and 212 00:12:01.320 --> 00:12:04.039 he's still cute as a button. Anyway, I know Predator 213 00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:08.559 two is an inferior film. Maria Kunchiita Alonzo's presence alone 214 00:12:08.639 --> 00:12:11.159 drags it down at least a whole letter grade. She 215 00:12:11.159 --> 00:12:14.639 cannot act in Spanish or English, and I'm glad she's gone. 216 00:12:14.919 --> 00:12:17.639 Wait is she dead? I'm gonna feel really bad. If 217 00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:21.120 she's she's not good, Good riddance. Who needs you. But 218 00:12:21.240 --> 00:12:24.080 the idea of taking the first film scenario and dropping 219 00:12:24.120 --> 00:12:27.679 in into downtown Los Angeles during a gang war during 220 00:12:27.679 --> 00:12:31.360 a heat wave and set a decade after the previous film, 221 00:12:31.399 --> 00:12:34.720 making Predator two a futuristic sci fi movie, they needed 222 00:12:34.759 --> 00:12:38.000 some innovations in Los Angeles that weren't yet innovated, so 223 00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:40.480 their solution was to set the movie in the far 224 00:12:40.519 --> 00:12:43.440 flung future of nineteen ninety seven. Let me tell you 225 00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:46.080 when I saw this movie on opening weekend in Danvers, 226 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:50.159 Massachusetts in nineteen ninety During the opening a title card 227 00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:52.879 let you know that this is seven years into the future, 228 00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:56.279 and then you hear that Rico suave guy singing. That 229 00:12:56.559 --> 00:13:00.519 was chilling. If that guy was still relevant seven years now, 230 00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:03.960 then we are headed for a dystopian outcome worse than 231 00:13:03.960 --> 00:13:09.360 Blade Runner, worse than The Terminator Gerardo without Schwarzenegger. Producer 232 00:13:09.480 --> 00:13:12.200 Joel Silver threw some lethal weapon actors at the sequel, 233 00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:16.360 Danny Glover and Gary Busey, and as the film's quasi villain, 234 00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:19.480 the leader of the Jamaican Posse oh No, the Jamaicans 235 00:13:19.519 --> 00:13:22.879 are coming run. I know there were actual gangs in 236 00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:24.960 New York at the time, but it's still funny. The 237 00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:27.840 leader of the posse, King Willie, was played by the 238 00:13:27.879 --> 00:13:31.159 magnificent Calvin Lockhart. He was the villain in one of 239 00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:34.960 my favorite films of the nineteen seventies, Cotton Comes to Harlem. 240 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:36.840 But also in the seventies, he was the lead in 241 00:13:36.879 --> 00:13:39.559 a film that was all but lost until recently. That 242 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:42.759 movie is The Baron. Here is a shameless self plug. 243 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:46.320 Go over to the Projection Booth podcast check out their 244 00:13:46.360 --> 00:13:50.720 episode on The Baron. It features some devastatingly incisive analysis 245 00:13:51.080 --> 00:13:54.240 by me. Predator two opened up the Predator's world in 246 00:13:54.360 --> 00:13:57.440 tons of ways, including how long they've been visiting Earth. 247 00:13:57.799 --> 00:14:00.960 Danny Glover's Harrigan is given a flintlock pill still engraved 248 00:14:01.039 --> 00:14:05.919 to Raphael and Doolini from seventeen fifteen. It also let 249 00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:08.720 us know that there were other Fox franchises that served 250 00:14:08.720 --> 00:14:11.320 as hunting grounds when we got a look inside the 251 00:14:11.320 --> 00:14:15.559 Predator's trophy case, which included a xenomorph skull from the 252 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:19.639 Alien films. Apparently, director Stephen Hopkins saw one in Stan 253 00:14:19.679 --> 00:14:22.399 Winston's creature shop and thought Hey, this would be cool, 254 00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:26.320 and thus he inadvertently kept both franchises alive in the 255 00:14:26.360 --> 00:14:29.440 public consciousness the majority of the public. I mean, if 256 00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:31.240 you were a fan of Predator, you could still get 257 00:14:31.279 --> 00:14:34.159 your fix with the dark Horse comic books. Hilariously, the 258 00:14:34.200 --> 00:14:36.879 first run came out before Predator two, but the story 259 00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:40.360 took place in New York during a heat wave, featuring 260 00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:43.559 Dutch's brother. Because you can't have a direct sequel unless 261 00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:46.960 the new lead is related, so stupid. Predator actually had 262 00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:50.039 a really cool run in dark Horse. All throughout the nineties, though, 263 00:14:50.039 --> 00:14:52.960 the theme of desperate, perhaps antagonistic people have to put 264 00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:56.000 aside their differences and fight the Predator were pretty prevalent. 265 00:14:56.360 --> 00:14:59.440 There were tons of cool crossovers as well, Predator versus Batman, 266 00:14:59.559 --> 00:15:04.159 Predator versus Transformers. The best was Archie versus Predator, where 267 00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:07.320 the Predator comes to Riverdale and kills every fucking one 268 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:10.799 of them and is eventually subdued by Veronica. Great stuff, 269 00:15:10.879 --> 00:15:13.360 but cinematically, we wouldn't get a standalone Predator flick for 270 00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:17.919 almost twenty years with Predators WHOA Okay, I was not 271 00:15:17.960 --> 00:15:20.159 going to forget you this time. Hit it HP. 272 00:15:21.720 --> 00:15:24.720 God K because it's. 273 00:15:31.519 --> 00:15:34.559 Thank you, HP. You know it's official. Arnold said he's 274 00:15:34.720 --> 00:15:37.720 entering the governor's race. At least that's what everyone thinks. 275 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:40.799 He said. That is an actual David Letterman joke. Blame 276 00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:44.080 him somehow. I am in no way surprised by your choice, 277 00:15:44.120 --> 00:15:48.360 young Ripley Geen. What a good girl you are. Aliens 278 00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:51.360 Versus Predator is the first time the Predator film's got fun. 279 00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:54.080 The alien films too, If I'm being honest, I'm not 280 00:15:54.120 --> 00:15:56.840 saying they haven't been thrilling or frightening or breathtaking in 281 00:15:56.879 --> 00:15:59.679 the past, but they haven't been. An honest to God 282 00:15:59.720 --> 00:16:02.919 paid for the entire ticket book at the Carnival Thrill Ride, 283 00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:06.320 combining a fifteen year old dropouts understanding of science and 284 00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:09.000 a seemingly boundless knowledge of the old Chariots of the 285 00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:12.759 Gods nineteen sixties seventies idea of how alien life exists 286 00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:15.840 and how it's been interacting with Earth since time immemorial. 287 00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:20.000 Aliens Versus Predator is a bottle film. Our heroes and 288 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:22.559 villains are all trapped in a puzzle box, this one, 289 00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:25.519 for all intents and purposes, being a Mayan pyramid found 290 00:16:25.639 --> 00:16:28.519 in Antarctica. The fact that this movie exists at all 291 00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:31.240 is a minor miracle. Can you think of two completely 292 00:16:31.279 --> 00:16:34.879 disparate cinematic worlds that dovetailed so nicely into one another 293 00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:37.960 and were held by the same copyright owner. I can't. 294 00:16:38.279 --> 00:16:42.080 And it assembled a fucking killer cast Sanah Lathan. I'm 295 00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:44.679 not sure why she wasn't huge. She's Blade's mom, for 296 00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:48.399 fuck's sake. It also had Bishop himself Lance Hendrickson as 297 00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:52.480 the Whyland from Wayland Utani. It had Spud from Trainspotting 298 00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:55.320 and Tommy Flanakan from every fucking badass roll of the 299 00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:57.480 past twenty years. And you know what else it had. 300 00:16:57.559 --> 00:16:59.759 It had heart Kid. That might not mean anything in 301 00:16:59.799 --> 00:17:02.080 this slick day and age, but it once had a 302 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:05.880 hallmark of quality. Jesus, what am I talking about? It 303 00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:09.480 also had three predators on the loose in an untold 304 00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:13.359 number of Zeno morphs, all skulking and scurrying around with 305 00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:15.359 a few humans trying to stand out of their way, 306 00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:18.359 and eventually teaming up with a predator to face the 307 00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:21.960 greatest cinematic villain of all time, the Alien. I know 308 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:23.400 we're here to talk about the predator, but I am 309 00:17:23.480 --> 00:17:26.119 fucking stoked that we're getting a new alien television series 310 00:17:26.359 --> 00:17:29.240 and you are going to hear all about it. Consider 311 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:32.319 yourself threatened. That film made one hundred and eighty million 312 00:17:32.359 --> 00:17:34.880 off of a seventy million dollar budget, which is just 313 00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:37.039 enough of a profit to get the film that that 314 00:17:37.160 --> 00:17:42.119 sort of success deserves. Alien Versus Predator Requiem. What a 315 00:17:42.279 --> 00:17:46.200 fucking piece of garbage that movie was. When it was 316 00:17:46.200 --> 00:17:48.119 announced that there was going to be an Alien Versus 317 00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:50.960 Predator movie, Jim Cameron bemoaned the fact that it was 318 00:17:51.039 --> 00:17:54.440 just like a Universal's Frankenstein meets wolf Man. There's no 319 00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:57.680 more relevancy. They're just milking it. Well, he was wrong 320 00:17:57.720 --> 00:18:01.240 about AVP, and he even admitted it such, But those 321 00:18:01.240 --> 00:18:05.599 criticisms are dead on here. Written by Shane Salerno, the 322 00:18:05.720 --> 00:18:09.680 scribe who gave us Armageddon and ghost Rider and the 323 00:18:09.720 --> 00:18:12.759 stories for most of those Avatar movies. It stars a 324 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:15.079 bunch of nobodies, It's made by a bunch of nobodies, 325 00:18:15.319 --> 00:18:18.079 and is in fact a direct sequel to AVP. That 326 00:18:18.119 --> 00:18:20.799 movie ended with a stinger, an alien bursting out of 327 00:18:20.839 --> 00:18:23.039 a predator's chest. It was a cheap jump at the 328 00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:24.880 end of the movie, just to rattle your cage and 329 00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:28.000 maybe hinted a possible sequel. Well, here's what happened. That 330 00:18:28.039 --> 00:18:31.720 predatorship crashed in a small American town and the entire 331 00:18:31.799 --> 00:18:35.480 series turned to shit. Do not watch it if you haven't, 332 00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:37.839 And even if you have watched it, I bet you 333 00:18:37.880 --> 00:18:40.839 haven't seen it because it is the murkiest fucking film 334 00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:44.440 I have ever seen or not seen. Fred Olin Ray 335 00:18:44.519 --> 00:18:48.079 had better lighting packages in his disposable movies. Now. I 336 00:18:48.119 --> 00:18:50.920 don't know about you, but when I heard Robert Rodriguez 337 00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:53.960 had a Predator movie coming out, I got pretty stoked. 338 00:18:54.039 --> 00:18:56.920 The movies are mainly nonverbal, so he can't really louse 339 00:18:57.000 --> 00:18:59.599 up the dialogue too bad. No matter how bad the 340 00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:01.480 script was going to be, overall, the action was going 341 00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:03.759 to be fucking incredible because that's what he does best. 342 00:19:03.799 --> 00:19:05.359 And apparently it's based on a script that he had 343 00:19:05.400 --> 00:19:08.079 been asked to write back in nineteen ninety four. K 344 00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:11.680 NB Effects took over for the creature effects, and the 345 00:19:11.880 --> 00:19:17.000 psychotically good cast was assembled. Adrian Brody, Alice Braga, Toefer, 346 00:19:17.119 --> 00:19:22.839 Grace Young, Walton Goggins, Lawrence Fishburne, Danny Trejoemherschela Ali. We've 347 00:19:22.839 --> 00:19:25.799 got a team of badasses as usual, fighting for their 348 00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:28.799 lives in a jungle against the predators. But here that 349 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:33.119 crack squad of heroes were actually assembled by the predators themselves, 350 00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:37.319 their soldiers and criminals and hunters and fucking psychopaths, all 351 00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:41.359 plucked from Earth and dropped onto a safari planet. People 352 00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:44.319 really like Predators. I saw it A Man's Chinese on 353 00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:48.400 opening day, which had great presentation, obviously, and I agree 354 00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:52.160 with most of those people. Kinda, it's great. Kinda, and 355 00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:56.319 Adrian Brody is good. Kind of the movie is fine. 356 00:19:56.960 --> 00:20:01.240 Just like AVP, it's good enough, but somehow not good enough. 357 00:20:01.319 --> 00:20:03.480 Both films just leave you feeling a little bit hollow. 358 00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:05.559 It's kind of hard to put my finger on now 359 00:20:05.599 --> 00:20:09.200 about the Predators their weapons specifically. Since the first film, 360 00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:11.519 they've all been able to cloak themselves. They've all had 361 00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:14.640 a shoulder cannon with that three dot laser target. They've 362 00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:18.599 all had medkits and arm blades and arm bombs. Predator 363 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:21.160 two gave us the spear and a net gun and 364 00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:25.799 those disc blade thingies. In Predators, the newest innovation is 365 00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:29.720 that they use pack animals to hunt nasty little quadrupeds 366 00:20:29.720 --> 00:20:33.079 called hell hounds or predator hounds. I don't know why 367 00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:36.640 they need them. These creatures, whose entire personality is based 368 00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:40.119 on hunting, use a bunch of near feral beasts to 369 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:43.400 hunt down and potentially mul their prey. It was the 370 00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:46.200 addition of these hell hounds that finally made me realize 371 00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:49.720 the sad truth about our predatory friends. They're like those 372 00:20:49.799 --> 00:20:53.279 cocksuckers who hunt foxes or did is it outlawed? It 373 00:20:53.319 --> 00:20:56.559 fucking should be outlawed using hounds to chase down a 374 00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:59.160 defenseless animal and then fucking ride up on your horse 375 00:20:59.160 --> 00:21:02.759 and blast it, you fucking cocksucker. Putting aside the hell hounds, 376 00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:05.799 think about these predators for a minute. All those weapons 377 00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:09.079 I mentioned a bunch of them invisibility alone gives them 378 00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:13.000 the equivalent of some asshole shooting lions from a Safaris jeep. 379 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:16.160 Real fucking sporting. Remember in part two when it wouldn't 380 00:21:16.200 --> 00:21:19.319 kill Maria Canchido Alonso because she was pregnant, because they're 381 00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:21.599 so fucking noble all of a sudden, But they will 382 00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:24.680 go after of you if you're armed. Sure, our projectile 383 00:21:24.680 --> 00:21:26.960 weapons are the equivalent of a fucking slingshot to a 384 00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:29.640 creature who travels across galaxies to hunt for Fun. But hey, 385 00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:31.880 you know what am I equippling about? What I mean 386 00:21:31.960 --> 00:21:33.720 is I love these movies. I just have a hard 387 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:36.680 time reconciling that these guys just hunt for sport. I mean, 388 00:21:36.680 --> 00:21:39.240 if they remain villains, then that's not a problem. But 389 00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:42.960 after two AVPs, I'm starting to think of them as heroes. 390 00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:45.319 How am I not supposed to side with them? Oh? 391 00:21:45.480 --> 00:21:48.440 Just make the Predator that will break the fucking spell. 392 00:21:48.920 --> 00:21:54.960 Shane Black, Shane Black. I cannot believe I'm saying Shane 393 00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:58.920 Black wrote and directed the movie that is worse than Requiem? 394 00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:02.440 Is it worse? Somebody tell me? Obviously, I think it's 395 00:22:02.440 --> 00:22:05.200 a better film just in general. But the fact that 396 00:22:05.240 --> 00:22:07.519 it's Shane Black and I can't decide if it's as 397 00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:09.480 bad a movie as the one I just dismissed as 398 00:22:09.480 --> 00:22:14.559 a piece of shit, somehow makes it worse. Shane come back, Shane. 399 00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:17.720 Was it the casting thing? They're all really good performers. 400 00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:20.319 I just don't know if they work in this configuration. 401 00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:22.960