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Speaker 1: Callaroga Shark Media.

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Speaker 2: I realized that on today's show, I'm gonna sound like

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Silkie Johnson, winner of the Haters Ball. Hello, I'm Johnny

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Mack with your daily comedy news.

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Speaker 1: I hate you, I don't even know you, and I

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hate your guts. I hope all the bad things in

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life happened to you and nobody else but you.

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Speaker 2: The reviews for Will Ferrell's The Hawk are not good.

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The Independent, with the headline Netflix Golfing Comedy, gives Will

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Ferrell his own crappy Gilmore two stars out of five.

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The Hollywood Reporter said, you might think it would be

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impossible for a TV show featuring Will Ferrell, Molly Shannon,

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Jimmy Tacho, Fortune Fimester, Chris Pornell, and David Hornsby not

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to generate at least a few laughs. Perhaps the biggest

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issues that everybody's essentially playing to type. Fortune Fimester is

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more or less the same filteralistic centric she played on

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shows like Foo Bar or the short lived Middy Kayling

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sitcom Champions. Chris Parnell abuse his PGA board member with

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the same disarmingly perky charm he's been peddling for decades.

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Molly Shannon is perhaps the standout, though even her withering

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scorn is nothing new. No one feels real, least of

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all Ferrell. They add. Ferrell is a performer whose glory

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days have seemingly passed. Where he once ruled the box office,

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now he's grinding out a comeback on Netflix. The New

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York Post said, Will Ferrell's The Hawk is a pale

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imitation of his earlier work. He's been all over the

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place doing outrageous antics to promote it. It's a shame

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it didn't seemingly put that effort into making sure the

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show wasn't a dud. It's a story that might have

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made for an amusing, yet forgettable, five minutes Saturday Night

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Live sketch. It's tedious as a five hour series. At

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the very least, it's obvious that his skills are best

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for a movie, not stretched across a ten episode series.

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The Hawk is painfully unfunny. The Daily Bet said twenty

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years ago, The Hawk would have been a ninety minute

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theatrical comedy. Today it's the latest feature film idea to

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be overextended to the point of worthlessness. Will Ferrell was

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at last week's SP's, which will give us a nice

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smooth transition to our second target today, Marcelo Hernandez. Now

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you might be wondering, Hey, John, what if we took

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the unfunny Will Ferrell and put him on stage with

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the unfunny Morselo Hernandez. What might that sound like? Well,

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I have a clip for you. I have edited this

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for pacing so you don't lose your mind and turn

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off my podcast. Warning. I know that this clip is bad.

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I know that this clip is going to make you

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want to hit skip. But to illustrate today's theme, I

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have to play the clip. Here's Will Ferrell with Marcelo Hernandez,

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who does one thing.

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Speaker 3: As a Latino. It's very important for me to represent

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my community every chance I get, and I'd like to

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take a moment to do that now in a special way.

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For the first time in the history of the sp Awards,

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I am going to present an award entirely in Spanish.

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I just thank you, yes, thank you. I just don't

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want anybody to feel left out. So I just need

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a translator. Can anybody, I'll do it.

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Speaker 2: I'll do it.

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Speaker 4: I can translate. I can translate for you.

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Speaker 3: Are you sure, Will Ferrell?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you speak Spanish.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, sure, okay, yeah, of course I do.

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Speaker 3: All right, come all, come.

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Speaker 4: In a little Spanish film.

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Speaker 3: Yeah we'll ferrel.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, I'm happy to I was in a little

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Spanish film called Talladega note.

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Speaker 3: Chase, so.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so yeah, all right, yeah, let's do this.

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Speaker 3: Sure okay, all right here damas caballeross me or notice

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the premio tangu indand.

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Speaker 4: Hey everybody, Uh, what's up? Game? Were feeling good? I'm

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excited to present this next award here in the world's

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greatest sports arena, Madison Square Garden. Can I get a what?

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Speaker 3: What? Ambul masaldo imucha disciplina.

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Speaker 4: As a young boy growing up in Miami, I didn't

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have many friends. Uh. Most of my friends were stray

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dogs I had collected in the neighborhood and I gave

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them names. There was George, there was Peaches. There was Alexander.

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Often late at night I would press my private parts against.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even talk for that long. Ouch. You may

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recall last year's host was Shane Gillis, who the establishment

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athletes did not welcome. I lost. Shane was hilarious. What's

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Shane up to now? Marcelo Hernetez has the answer.

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Speaker 3: I also want to shout out last year's host, Shane Gillis.

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He is watching from home like a true American on

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his couch, gonna be here while a Hispanic guy does

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his job.

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Speaker 2: Do you like hack jokes like the hackiest of hacked,

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most obvious? How long did it take you to write

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that joke? Because I have one for you.

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Speaker 3: In nineteen seventy three, hockey players didn't wear helmets, basketball

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had no three point line, and in nineteen seventy three,

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Bill Belichick was the age his girlfriend is.

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Speaker 2: Now, Wow, that's pretty hacky there. Marcelo then turned his

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attention to the Nicks. Now on the video of this,

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Jalen Brunson made the face that Taylor Swift should have

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made at the Joe Koy joke way back when Jalen

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did the ha ha ha that's funny. But you can

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tell he did not find this funny because it's not funny.

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Speaker 3: And Jalen Brunson, Rick Brunson's son got to win an

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NBA championship with his dad as the coach, which proves

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one thing, which is that nepotism, like most things, is

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way cooler when a black guy does it.

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Speaker 2: Next up. We have a WNBA joke that isn't that bad,

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but I think he mispaced it ended comedy. Timing is everything,

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and I also think this kind of joke would have

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worked better for say Shane Gillis.

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Speaker 3: I also want to shout out the WNBA players for

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signing a new deal and they're not making more money

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than ever before. Yes, yes, it's a lot of new

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money in the WNBA. Man opening up the door for

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a new reality show basketball husbands and wives, but mostly wives.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Marcelo? How about the World Cup?

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Speaker 3: World Cup is the time when American sports fans remember

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what the word world means. They usually think it means

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the US and one team from Toronto. I will say

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it has been amazing to see Americans learn about soccer

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and Europeans learn about ranch dressing. And I have something

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to say to the Europeans.

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Speaker 4: Come in here.

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Speaker 3: It's not so easy to stay skinny here, is it.

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I've really enjoyed watching you slim snobs eating like delicious

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junk food and this is real karma. You called American

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stat for hundreds of years, and now look at you

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drinking ranch taking it home with you like a weirdo.

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That's the fattest thing you can do.

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Speaker 2: By the way, Wow, that is just bad. And you

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might be saying, Johnny Mack, you're just such a hater.

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Surely Marcelo Hernandez must have had one good joke, and

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you're right, he did have one good joke. And here

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it is gradulate one player.

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Speaker 3: I want to congratulate. Caleb Williams, the quarterback for the

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Chicago Bears, will be on the cover of the new

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Madden video game. Congratulations to Caleb. Yeah, and Tiger Woods

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will be on the cover of Grand Theft Auto.

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Speaker 2: Carlos meant SIA it sold the California Post. All I

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did was not pay my taxes being arrested the guns.

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That was a very shocking thing. I was compared to

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al Capone. All I did was not pay taxes. I

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never cheated on them. I never got paid in cash.

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I never didn't sign a ten ninety nine. How much

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money I made will come out because I never hid that.

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Carlos showed up in court. So what do you wear

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in court? You dress up nice, you wear a suit,

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you try and look professional. Carlos wore a University of

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Oregon jacket and a T shirt and blazon with the

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words super funny. Now, I'm not a judge, but I

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probably wouldn't have reacted that too well. But again, I'm

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up for winning the haters ball this year. Up again,

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Silky Johnson. Mencia's attorney argued that Carlos should be able

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to list his la estate in order to help pay

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his over three hundred thousand dollars tax bill. The attorney

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also attempted to unfreeze assets from Vincia's bank accounts so

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he could pay living expenses and his attorney fees. I

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could see why that might be important to the attorney.

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The judge ruled that Carlos could list his Encino mansion,

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believed to be valued at over four and a half

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million dollars. The judge also allowed for one hundred thousand

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dollars to be taken from the bank account. Carlos told

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the California Post at the end of the day, we're

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going to take care of this. It's how we got there.

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That's a little painful from a psychological and physical standpoint.

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They got what they wanted. They got the attention of

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this issue for me, So it is what it is.

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Dane Cook, serious actor, perhaps Jeff Barker, who's that He's

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the father of Obsession director Curry Barker and a screenwriter.

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Jeff Barker is writing and directing his own psychological horror

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short film, Medium Rare. It will start Deane Cook. Medium

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Rare follows a man trapped inside a bar where reality

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begins to unravel in increasingly disturbing ways. Perhaps Dane Cook's

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character is forced to watch the hawk. Hey, remember the

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other day I mentioned Thom Sigore not wearing a wedding ring,

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and I shared that for a while playing volleyball, I

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wasn't wearing a ring. Don't read anything into it. So

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I showed up at volleyball the other night and two

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of my teammates were there. They were mid conversation, and

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the conversation was like, yeah, you know, you could stick

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it in you know, your shoe or something and won't

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get lost. And I'm like, what are you guys talking about.

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One of my teammates wanted to take off his wedding

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ring for volleyball because his fingers were swollen. He had

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spent the entire day with his wife. They had a

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nice day. Don't read anything into it. Sometimes we're just

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playing volleyball. It's almost time for season eighteen. If It's

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Always Sunny in Philadelphia. FX has announced it'll be back Monday,

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August seventeenth, with what they're calling an expanded ten episode season.

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We have all lived long enough that ten is now

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an expanded season. That's because the previous three seasons were

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only eight episodes each, which goes really quickly, especially when

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they show two a week. Season eighteen premieres at nine

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Eastern on fxx FX and Hulu. We are told now

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the longest running live action sitcom and TV history. It's

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Always Sonny follows a group of deeply self absorbed friends

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and they're chaotic misadventures while running the failing Philadelphia dive

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bar Patty's Pub. Now, to be fair, this show's been

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on for twenty plus years eighteen seasons. Is the bar

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failing because it's been a steady business for two decades?

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I mean, how long do they have to own this

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thing before we consider it a successful business. We've got

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some plot points here minor spoilers. It's Always Sunny, don't

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worry about it. In season eighteen, Charlie mcdennis, d Stupid Bird,

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and Frank are wrapped up in a salvaging inheritances from

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a dead woman, b surviving tent encampments, and the great

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inside outside divide between the haves and have nots. C

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withstanding job loss at the hands of workplace automation. Four

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you switch from the letters to numbers, John, Yeah, I did,

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embracing a new found appreciation for neurodivergence. Five, questioning the

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fabric of society against conspiracy theories, and six the biggest

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elephant in the room, outlasting the public's pendulum swing against drinking.

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We're told not to mention battling nerds, LARPers, and a

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particularly petulant mcpoile clan at the Renaissance Fair were sports

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washing their way back into the good graces of their

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community by sponsoring a little league team. All those sound

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like really, really good plots. Kevin Hart likes to work.

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He's got a new season of Cold as Balls. You know,

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that's the show where Kevin Hart sits in a cold

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tub with famous sports figures. They were getting ready to

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film new interviews live at Fanatics Fest in New York

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over the weekend. Guess we're scheduled to be Serena Williams,

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Rob Gronkowski, Cooper Flagg, Sean O'Malley, Zlatson, you know the

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guy that basically ran Alexi Lallas out of town on

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World Cup coverage. We all love that guy, and I

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show speed now as cool and hip as I am.

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I had a google Sean O'Malley, who apparently currently competes

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in the bantamweight division of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. So

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although I don't know who he is, I'm sure Maggot

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comedian Ate Berghazy's familiar with Sean O'Malley can talk about that.

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For a second, I was thinking about this, Can I

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be honest? If the President of the United States wants

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to come on this show, he's coming on now. If

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he comes on daily Comedy News, I'm probably gonna ask

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him about like Saturday Night Live and some comedy stuff

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that he's done, and then eventually I'll get to it.

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But like, this show's not sixty minutes. I know, I

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know sometimes she confuse it for sixty minutes, but this

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isn't sixty minutes. I probably ask him who his favorite

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comedians are, you know, that his stuff, and then maybe

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with the end, I could be like, hey, you know

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this thing with the war, you know, I might get

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that in at the end, and then you guys would

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all be like, Maga, podcast host Johnny Mack had the

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President on, but meanwhile, I'll have the number one podcast

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that week. You know, we could probably talk about Late Night.

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I'd be like, hey, mister President, you know, what's your

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deal with Jimmy Kimmel? And then he'd say his stuff

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and I'd be like, now, the one thing I do

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agree with you on, mister President, is twelve thirty. This

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seth Meyers thing. It's got to be better, right, And

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then he would say some stuff and I'd be like,

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that's right, make twelve thirty great again. Then he would laugh,

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and then I would ask him about Colbert, and then

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you guys would be like, come on, how come you're

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not ask him about election interference? And I'd be like,

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I'm guy in the basement, what do you want to do.

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I will also welcome whoever runs for a president on

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the Democrat side. That person is also welcome to come

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on here, and I will also ask them about their

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favorite comedians and if they've ever hosted Saturday Night Live.

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I Digress. Cold as Balls will now be on Netflix

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with six new episodes with those guests that I told

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you about. Kevin Hart said, Coldest Balls coming in Netflix

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feels like a homecoming. I'm pairing two of my favorite

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ease together for an unbeatable conversation and content. I love

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that for twelve going on thirteen seasons, thirteen seasons of this,

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now Kevin's billionaire and doing really well. Does this thing

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of cultural impact or people watching this thing? I love

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that for twelve going on thirteen seasons, the show continues

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to be a celebration of sports and entertainment. Then he

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went into some corporate speak and plugged his other stuff,

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and this is sad. The High Planes Comedy Festival has

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announced it's over. Festival organizers posted on Facebook, all good

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things must come to an end, and man has High

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Planes Comedy Festival have been good. After thirteen years and

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a dozen amazing festivals, we're calling it. Founded by comedian

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Adam Clayton Holland, High Planes focused on local comedians and

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national comedians. The announcement said we'll be taking the next

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few months to say goodbye. We want to see your

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favorite picks from High Planes over the years, so post

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them and tag us or email them to info at

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Highplanescomedy dot com. They're going to host one last official party,

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a blowout show Saturday, November twenty first, at the Skylark

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Lounge on South Broadway. Performers TBA, sorry to hear that, Fellas,

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and that is your comedy news for today Hater Edition

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see tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: I hate you, I hate you, I don't even know you,

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and I hate your guts. I hope all the bad

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things in life happen to you and nobody else but

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you