Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell. I'm Chris, and I'm dead and
my eternal punishments to do this podcast where we interview
everyone in Hell. And I'm joined as always by the
younger brother of Satan Clayton. What o the door? Oh
my god? Hold on? You put these down somewhere? What
is that?
Speaker 2: Those are bills, Chris, overdue bills? Notice the red ink
You notice the pink slips in there?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, we're fucked. We're fucked.
Speaker 2: Are we recording this right now? Yes, we're recording. Great,
the audience needs to hear this. We're shutting it down.
What it's all going away? I think this might be
the last episode because we cannot afford every minute of
recording on that tape deck. We can't afford that tape.
We're gonna have to sell that tape, Chris, the tape itself. Yeah,
what if we just flip it over to the other
side and then use that part.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know tech stuff. It's already
a Madonna tape from the nineties that we're recording on listen.
I don't know tex shit, okay, but I just know
that we can't afford it.
Speaker 2: Whatever we're doing. The air that you're breathing right now,
Stop breathing it. We can't afford it. We're in the
red and not in the funny demon way. Things are bad.
Speaker 1: Okay, oh fuck, okay, what do we do? What do
we do? It's id eight? Okay, well ide eight.
Speaker 2: I took some like corporate classes online from some fucking guy,
and ideating is like a starting point.
Speaker 1: So like, okay, what can we do? What can we do?
We could get and convince more people to sign up
for our patreon.
Speaker 2: What can we possibly do to convince more people to
sign up for our patreon? Good morning from hell dot com,
where they get such features as the ability to get
roasted and behind the scenes show.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and I posted my TV show from high
school recently. Wow, what an offer, what a benefit? It's
never released online? Damn. Okay, those are those These are
great ideations. These are great ideas. But I think we need.
Speaker 2: To Okay, hold on, let me see if I can
find that business card. It was this guy that I
found online on his name was his name was Chadley Grafton.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just call this number and see if he
can come in. Okay, okay, So what is he is
he what is he special? What does he do?
Speaker 2: He's like a business guy. He's like a business like
consultant guy. I'm gonna let him explain. Actually, I just
I just sent him a text. I think he's on
his way. So we're just gonna wait and we're just
gonna keep our fingers crossed that our business is going
to get turned.
Speaker 1: Around, all right. Okay, wait, I hear some knocking at
the door. That might be a him. Hello Clinton, Hey, Hey, sorry, sorry,
I'm so late. I just ran in from a meeting.
I've been on so many calls and you know, I'm
just blowing up there right now. So I appreciate thank
you for your patience. Urse, thank you for I appreciate you. You,
I appreciate Wow. No, thank you.
Speaker 2: And dude, you're you must be killing it if you're
so busy. Thank you for making the time. We should
be thanking you. I mean, this is great.
Speaker 1: Nope for you, babe, anything, bababe, Hey look at me, babe,
Yeah anything?
Speaker 2: How long have you all known each other? This is
my first time meeting this man. I've never seen him
once in my life.
Speaker 1: But you've got the card, and the card opens doors. Okay,
Is that like a Is that like a rule of business?
Is it like a hotel card? Like is RFI D?
I don't understand. It's one of Chadley's five rules of
business association. You can read about it on my LinkedIn post. Okay,
oh oh okay, all right, well Clayton's on LinkedIn as well.
I am Chadley. We need to connect.
Speaker 2: I think that that's going to open some big doors, similar.
Speaker 1: To the card. So what's going on? You just texted
four exclamation points and a car and then a birthday cake.
I think that one was a typo. Yes, the birthday
cake was not correct. It was actually it was supposed
to be the chart with the arrow going down into
the right. Yeah, things are not looking good for us, Chadley,
Chadley Grafton. Right, that's your name, it's on my card,
that's my name. That's what you've been calling me. Of course,
of course, I'm sorry, sorry, Chadley. Business is bad though, Chris.
I mean you tell you well, I mean, look at
these bills. What do you so you've got bills? Yeah,
you've got you've got numbers go down. Our numbers go
down right now, the big number go downward? Yes, yeah, classic,
that's a that's a You're in a real pickle, and
I'm glad I'm here to help. So specifically, what are
numbers in your line? I need to frame the business
in order to provide the strategy that will best fit
your situation.
Speaker 2: This guy's got good vocabulary. I think he knows what
he's talking about. Very good, Chris. Let's let's put a
pin in that, Chris ow Ow. So we're a podcasting business,
and so subscribers, those are numbers profits from our store
we have, we have some e commerce coming in.
Speaker 1: Those are down. Yeah. Usually when numbers go down, that's
a consequence of the content being bad. Oh, would you
say the content and the hosts and the overall concept
of your podcast? The format is bad? I mean, Chris,
I mean, I mean I've seen worse. I mean I
think we're not bad. I mean it's it's a pretty bad.
We're interviewing everybody in hell. You know that isn't like evil? Yeah? Yeah,
it is bad? Good because we're in hell? Do we
want to be bad? All right, let's back up. Let's
back up Chaldley's rule number two. Okay, you have no confidence, boys,
listen to me. You're questioning yourselves. You don't know if
you're bad or good. You're not landed on even the
format of what you're doing or your purpose. Why are
you here? Let's start with brass tacks. Let's have a
blue sky spitball on who you are, what's your purpose?
What are you thinking? What? Why do you exist in
the market space? Right now? Oh? Man? Okay? Why do
we exist in a marketplace? I mean I exist market
space space? Okay, space as opposed to what will? Were
you send Chris market place or space place? That's like Facebook?
No the market space? No, no, no, no no. Your
places are three dimensional. Spaces are four dimensional. You want
to exist in a four dimensional market space? Market guys? Okay, okay,
I'm trying to write all these downs. Oh my gosh,
I can't believe how rudimentary you're operating right now.
Speaker 2: So sorry, child, But like that's why you are here,
because you're a business guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah what are you? I'm a business guy? Yeah? I
am a business consultant. My job is to come into businesses,
tell them what they're doing wrong, and charge them an
exorbitant amount of money to hear the kind of advice
that only an outsider could provide for an insider. Okay,
that's okay though, because we.
Speaker 2: Don't have money currently, but you're gonna get us in
a position in the market space where we will make money.
Space no forty versus three D forty and we're gonna
make money. This is a this is a worthwhile expenditure
in my mind.
Speaker 1: First of all, let's talk about what my fee is
gonna because if you don't have any money, I'm going
to demand a significant amount of equity from your operation.
What is equity? Forget about it? Forget about it. We're
going to operate on a sense of trust. You trust me?
You trust me? Sure? Yeah? Yeah, No, I trust you.
You're Charlie Grafton. Yeah, the door's going to open, key,
Key's gonna open doors. Yeah. We've got two of the
five rules, man, we're rolling. Give us the rest. Can
you give us a third one? Not to like blow
your load, but like you know, I want to hear
the third one if you got it. Yeah, absolutely. Chadley
Grafton's third rule of business association is always be networking. Baby,
You got to meet new people. You think I would
have showed up if I weren't networking? All the time.
I never met you. Yeah, but you got my card.
You reached out to my number. And that's not just
any number. That's a burner phone that I got it at
seven eleven. So my friends aren't calling that number. Okay,
that's my business phone. Oh you understand. So I accept
every call. You accept every call. That's rule number three. Okay,
all right? Rule number three. Rule number four ah wait,
wait three is always be networking baby, or accept every call? Well,
accepting every call is networking. Yet networking sub a oh,
networking sub b is go to the industry event, shake
every hand, take every card every.
Speaker 2: Half so then it plays back into one because the
card gets you anywhere.
Speaker 1: It's a loop. Duh. It's a loop. Duh. Okay, all right, ah,
and it's looping so early too. Only on the third
be change. This is great stuff. Yeah yeah. Rule number four.
Know you're investors, who are you getting into business with?
This is a sort of an offshoot. Once you've done
the networking, you gotta get investors. Who are you asking
for money? Is it your parents? Probably for the two
of you? Is it random people on the internet? Absolutely,
those are the biggest suckers in the world. Don't pay
for anything. Have you seen the shit on Kickstarter lately? Nobody.
We've seen it on Patreon and there's a lot out
of it. No, Patreons a a real crap show.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, Okay, all right, this is great stuff.
We're already making so much progress. I think profit margins.
I don't know what that means, but I'm feeling good
about them. Yeah, Charlie, tell us about yourself. I mean,
you seem to be willing and dealing around hell really,
well are you? Are you like a demon? Like, like,
what's what's your origin story? How long you've been in
the game for?
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm not a demon. I'm an Arizonan. I
grew up in Scottsdale. You know my parents were fundamental
influences on me that I was raised in a dual
income house. My dad sold time share and my mom
sold a different kind of timeshare. So I learned the
business fundamentals of networking, of always being there, of taking
the call, of not taking no foreann answer okay at
a very young age. Okay, all right, So I'm just
a guy man, but I'm a guy making my way
And one of these days, Clayton, I'll have your job,
Prince of Hell. I mean i'd prefer he didn't, because
you know, I want that job.
Speaker 2: But hey, you've got some you know, some real drive,
and I respect and appreciate that.
Speaker 1: I have that confidence that you lack. I got that
dog in me, son. Okay, okay, okay, well damn, So
how many? What kind of dog? Yeah? What breed are
we talking here? Well, since I've been down here, I've
got docs and German shepherd. When I first got here,
there was a cerebus. Mmmm. Oh we met.
Speaker 2: We interviewed him in a previous episode. So those dogs
in me, well, like, and I got it. Okay, we
don't have to go to d.
Speaker 1: End out in and out. I mean it's hell Yeah,
I'll do whatever I need to do to get ahead.
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean three of them in service
this case, right, well, plus the other two. So's that's
a five and one. And so this is networking what
you were doing with these dogs? Correct in a sense.
Have you ever been to a key party, Clayton? Key
party is oh with the business card, that's one of
the that's how we get in. You're a sweet, sweet
dumb boy, Chris, and I love you. Yeah, Okay, all right.
So yeah, so my fundamentals grew up in Arizona, and
you know, I have a ton of business experience. My
first real toe dipping into the pool of the business world,
I was rewrapping dollar store candy in my old Halloween
Snickers wrappers and reselling them at school. Whoa, those suckers
didn't know the difference, and I could up charge them
a ridiculous fee and I was able to buy incredibly
rare ugi O cards. Son. Wow, so are we talking
blue eyes, white dragons? Are we talking? What are we
talking here?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have chosen yu gi O cards because I
do not know about u gi O cards. Okay, okay,
but it doesn't matter. You look for opportunity to make money,
whether or not you know or not. I'll buy what
eBay tells me to buy, if it's valuable, and then
I'll sell it back. It's called arbitrage. Look into it
on my LinkedIn post arbitra.
Speaker 2: Okay, we will Is that the fifth rule arbitrage? Or
is that is that?
Speaker 1: Like I thought that was a legal term. The fifth
rule is always be posting on LinkedIn. Always be posting
on LinkedIn? Okay, I'm gonna quickly. You can read about
that in my LinkedIn posts.
Speaker 2: Oh that's great, that's great. So so far we've got
card gets you anywhere. That was first one. Two confidence boys.
I think that that's just like we just got to
be a fine boys that are confident. Always be networking baby.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: Three point five was always take every call. But subsection
B was go to the industry event and shake every hand.
Speaker 1: You should see the industry events in hell, by the way,
because you have got expertise from across the historological spectrum.
So if you want to talk to tyrants, you've got
pre modern tyrants. You've got your Genghis cons, you've got
your Stone Age clan leaders, but you also have your Hitlers,
your Mussolini's. You gotta ever concept across the board, and
when they all get together, the ideas are just they're
just flowing. Yeah. Yeah, these are people that you look
up to, the people you can learn from. Okay, I'm
not saying I'm not saying I agree with all of
their points of view, but they have some good ideas.
They certainly are ideas. Yeah, when it comes to motivating
an employee base, I mean, a fascist dictator who does
better job than that. It's a good point, damn, Chris.
Speaker 2: I feel like we haven't used our networking to its
full capacity because we've had some big hitters on the show,
people who have conquered.
Speaker 1: Worlds in countries. That's true, and we just we never
once like shook hands and said like, hey, you interested
in getting on the ground floor of this business? Would
you want to invest? Yeah? Yeah, you want to invest?
Yeah damn. Yeah, I'm happy to go through walk through
my resume if you really need more touch points. But
we can also just move straight into how can I
help you? Yeah, that sounds like the best thing. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, We've got to know you really well, Chadley. I
feel so connected with you. I feel so confident in
your abilities. So I think, yeah, we should just focus
on like our business and what's gonna get us strong again.
Speaker 1: So primarily is the business for I? Just again framework here,
sure is the business the podcast? Or is the business? Hell?
I mean, I guess it's a podcasts for me? Very interchangeable? Yeah, yeah,
for good point for me, it's the podcast. Yeah yeah,
all right? For me?
Speaker 2: Hell is the podcast and podcast as hell. I'm gonna
be so frank with you. I'm answering with no confidence whatsoever.
I'm just I'm just answering with what I'm assuming you
want to hear. And so I'm gonna say it's the podcast.
Speaker 1: Lock it in. I do love a yes man. Listen.
At a very basic level, we need to turn your
podcast into the Netflix of hell. Whoa, whoa.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know Netflix, it's a household name. I
don't think that they ever make a profit from what
I understand is that correction. Okay, his finger is covering
my mouth, it's on my lip. You're really getting in there.
Shushh Okay, all right, Charlie.
Speaker 1: I'm hushing. Profit does not matter. Growth is what matters
at all costs. You have to show to grow, you
know what I mean, to grow?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I feel the same way about that
in bed, you know, like you got to show to grow.
Speaker 1: And so this is making sense, this is ringing true.
I just just sidetrack. Are you suggesting that in bed
in order to become erect, Yeah, you have to be
naked first. Well, you have to show in order to grow.
Speaker 2: I mean I think that it's yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm
gonna again, I'm not super confident, but I'm gonna say
yes with confidence. My pants need to be down and
my shirt needs to be off, and I gotta grow excellent.
Speaker 1: Thank you for that sidebar. Yeah, okay, So part of
becoming the number one podcast and hell, the Netflix is
going to be you need go through a rebrand, a
classic rebrand. This is the best thing that any company
can do in order to write size itself for future
growth and performance. Yeah okay, okay, So what are we
talking here with the rebrand? I mean, is this like
a new logo? I mean, do we change? Yeah? Okay,
all right, all right, so right now, our logo is
a coffee cup with a flame and a little skull
on the coffee cup. It's pretty cute.
Speaker 2: Chris and I worked really hard on it, and I
think our audience has really grown to love it and
really relates it to the brands in a way that
if we were to pull that away from them, I
think it would really upset them.
Speaker 1: When I think about the classic logos that have really
made an impact on brands and society. Yeah, the ones
I'm thinking about are the Nike swoosh, right, the McDonald's arches, right,
the logos that you can see in silhouette and you
know exactly what it is from a distance. A coffee cup. Yeah,
with a logo on a coffee Oh yeah, yeah? Was
what's that doing for you? Who are you Starbucks? Are
you PiZZ Coffee? Are you Pj's? Are a Buckhead? Are
you Dutch Bros? Tim Morton's? Thank you God, You're so right.
I'm naming every other coffee company that's not us. Should
we be making coffee, Chris, We don't sell coffee. We
sell podcasts. Oh do you sell coffee? But could we?
Should we do we? Now? I don't know. You tell
us you're the business guy. What do we do to
make coffee? Oh? Fuck?
Speaker 2: I'm so questioning every decision we've ever made up until
this point.
Speaker 1: Help us, help help anchor me. Okay, okay, fuck, take
a breath, Okay, take a breath. Okay, guys, Okay, this
is why this is why people pay me the big bucks,
because I'm able to stay calm in a world of panic. Yeah,
and I am panicked. You're getting into the weeds. Coffee
could be an ancillary revenue generator, It could be an opportunity.
Is coffee primarily your brand? Or is the podcast which
you want a message? Are you and Chris what you
want a message? Who is your leading foot into that
market space? When people think good morning from hell? Complete
this sentence, Complete this sentence. When people think good morning
from hell, they think they think I you do one?
Am a good time? They think that I am a
good time? Yes, yes, I'm seeing a logo that is
clock based, okay based logo good time? A clock with
a halo, A halo clock, halo clock, the opposite of hell. Oh,
we're going to take a left turn. We're really thinking
outside the box right now, that's what you want to do.
You're not giving them what they expect. You're putting your
stamp on something in such a way that people will
never associate that image with anything else. Oh, interesting, subversive,
I would even say. So, I'm doing a rough sketch,
and it's it's basically two circles, the halo and the clock.
You mentioned earlier silhouettes, but this is just it kind
of looks like an eight. Should we incorporate the eight
into our branding as well? The way you've done it
almost looks like anemol.
Speaker 2: Oh so if I flip it sideways, But then does
that not make the halo not a halo.
Speaker 1: I love this. No, No, this is excellent dual meeting
because complete this sentence. When you're in hell, you're in hell,
Tom partyever. I see there's a little bit of brand confusion.
That's okay, that typically happens prior to a rebrand. I
think Chris, who is in hell forever, Yeah, understands where
we're going with this. Right. Yes, nice Chris, way to go, Chris.
Are you familiar with the FedEx logo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a purpleish shorng ish and I think
there's like an arrow inside of it or something.
Speaker 1: The arrow on the inside. Very good boy, Oh boy,
where'd you get this dog treat? Oh? Delicious? Good insight, Clayton. Yeah.
The meaning of the FedEx brand we will send your
packages to a location quickly is embedded within that logo
and the concept of your here and you're here forever
being embedded in your logo. Uh, chef's kiss. I love it. Okay.
Speaker 2: All right, So we got a sideways a that looks
like an infinity sign that's a clock and a halo,
and then I'm doing the kind of Italian little hand
gesture symbolizing like a like a chef's kiss, and then
I have a small heart off to the side, So
it's okay, it's kind.
Speaker 1: Of looking like if like it look like the hand
is fisting a butt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's forever forever. If I maybe if I,
if I, if I flop the hand, then it kind
of looks like a bit of a phallus and then
the heart is like a little dribblet of come coming
off like it's kind.
Speaker 1: Of that's so, you know, and it's sweet. It's really
nice because what feeling do you get post coitus? Kind
of a chef's kiss, So I mean, you know, a
burning sensation like hell. Again, a little brand confusion, boys, Yeah,
there's a little bit of brad confusion.
Speaker 2: We're breaking the we're breaking the second rule, which is
confidence boys. We're not confidence boys. We need confidence boys. Okay,
it's a birding, burning chef case.
Speaker 1: I love this. Let's move on. Okay, let's think about
your slogan. If I asked you, what is the slogan
for good Morning in Hell? What's your tagline? What do
you say every episode? What would you tell me? I
don't know. Hey, let's say good morning from Hell. I'm
Chris and I'm dead and my eternal punishment to do
this podcast where we interview everyone in hell, every person else.
Speaker 2: Clayton, he's the younger brother. Say stop, it's pretty. It's
a word script idiot.
Speaker 1: No, that's not that's not a logo. That's not that's
not a slogan.
Speaker 2: Chadley, you seem really upset with us right now, and
I feel like I need to do something that will
earn your trust and respect back. So I am an
open book. Throw anything at me, I'll do it blindly.
Throw the book at him.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right, yeah that was a book though.
Ow okay, spine hit me right in the eye. Let's
think mission statement. Okay, the book says mission statement. Let's
look up famous mission statements from the book. Oh yeah, no,
exactly exactly, mission statement. Okay, what is a memory mission
statement from let's see McDonald's again, a classic. Oh oh,
I'm loving loving it right? Loving it? Is that their
mission statement? I don't know if that's a mission statement.
It's a slogan it I mean, it's a slogan. Mission statement. Yeah, okay, Hey,
I don't tell you how to be a beta cuck,
do I? Chris? How to be a little tortured soul,
do I, Chris? No? Well, I kind of you are
doing that right now, aren't you. Yeah, I'm so good
at my job. Thank you, Thank you for noticing that.
I appreciate you. All right.
Speaker 2: So we've got a brand that you know, Hell loves
because of their representation Subway.
Speaker 1: So their whole thing is eat Fresh.
Speaker 2: Right, So like we need something simple that defines and
distills down what we're trying to do here.
Speaker 1: I'm loving it. Eat Fresh. One of the rebrands that
I went through. H Have you heard of a company
called Rooster Teeth? I did the rebrand for them.
Speaker 2: So funny you should mention that because we have a
non disparagement clause and lasts for roughly one more year.
Speaker 1: You do? Do I have a non disparagement clause? Interesting?
You don't.
Speaker 2: But I wonder if it comes from our production, if
we can still have it entertain it.
Speaker 1: Let's just hey, let's id eight on that for another year.
Let's bob up and down on this and see where
we go. All right, good, because in my experience and
rebranding Rooster Teeth, one of the most successful aspects of
it was ripping off another company for a logo. I
suggest we rip off another company's slogan good morning in Hell,
eat fresh good morning, and so we're switching the name
even it's good morning in Hell. Oh yeah, no from hell?
You want to be from hell? Or you want to
be in hell? Are you from hell? Or are you
in hell? It's like the active versus the passive. I mean,
I don't know much about like you know, words, but
that good Morning in Hell sounds so much more action packed. Yeah,
so we're in here. Yeah, I'm loving it. Load up
the Patreon let me see. I want to see you
change the website right now. Okay, okay, are we committing Yes?
Confidence boys, confidence? Uh we're in hell?
Speaker 2: Ye, so I think we're Yeah, confident, Okay, good morning
in Hell. So I can't I don't actually have the
money in my bank account to pay for the change
of the domain name.
Speaker 1: But I think we can mess with the logos in
the very least. Yeah, what do we need on your
dream board? Write on a post it note and make
sure that that post it note is centered on your
computer screen exactly where the show name is supposed to
be on Patriot. Okay, until you have the money to
change it. So I'm putting the sticky note on the screen.
I mean it's hard to see the screen now, Yeah,
especially since I'm operating off of like a four inch monitor.
It's the best we could get down here. So it's
covering up quite a bit of real estate here. You
might not be able to see the screen, but can
you see the vision? I mean I could see what
I wrote down, which is it says good morning in
hell you eat fresh? So oh you know what.
Speaker 2: Earlier you mentioned that we always need to be networking
and shaking every hand and getting to know our investors.
Speaker 1: That's two of the rules.
Speaker 2: So we actually have a segment Chadley, if you'll allow
us where we roast Patreon members.
Speaker 1: Would you would you care to join us for that?
I would love nothing better. Thank you for the offer. Yeah,
if you could help us consult it.
Speaker 2: Oh that's maybe what we should do, is we consult
these guys and give them advice instead of roasting them.
Speaker 1: We consult them. We can give them life advice. We
tear them down to build them up. Fresh news eat fresh, yes, yes,
hell good. You can't say consult without insult, or at
least the salt part soult. Yeah, you know what My
favorite part of my job is it's learning from you.
Not you specifically Chris, but you the greater you, the
people that I work with, the companies. Yeah, it's so insightful.
That's going on my dream board. Wow. Hell yeah.
Speaker 2: So all right, First up, we've got someone coming in.
It's a Bones Crew. In their biography says that they're
turning thirty two in June, so they actually probably are already. Hey,
happy Blake Berth, you're thirty two. I have been married
for five years and I love building legos. As far
as what they do for a living, they are a
bill collector for a rent to own gaming PC.
Speaker 1: Company is Oh my gosh, we owe them money? Yeah, no,
Bones Crew ninety four, he messaged us. We owe him
a lot of money. Fuck, that's Bone Crew. Here's what
I would suggest, huh Right now, these guys don't have
any money. There's no use in coming and making the
track all the way down to Hell just to get
the money for the shitty gaming PC that they've got.
I would suggest give him another six months, let the
effects of this rebrand really take root, and then when
the revenue starts flowing, you'll be able to collect. Now
I would also suggest a ten percent per day interest
charge on the overdue bill. Chadley, I don't know. You
don't need to tell bones crew that. Maybe that's more.
Maybe that's a theoretical change. Yeah, you know, I just
want them to be ten percent more interested in collecting
the bill every day. Oh you put it that way,
It actually makes way more sense. Yeah.
Speaker 2: When you mess with the numbers and you you use
them vaguely like that, that and like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, So Bones Drew gave us an embarrassing story.
Speaker 2: He said, I was helping my father in law fix
a washing machine at one of his rental properties, and wow,
it runs in the family.
Speaker 1: This this this bill collecting.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: And he told me to hold some wires. Uh. He
then plugged the other end into the wall and shocked
the hell out of me. Wow, so your father in
law just electrocuted you for fun.
Speaker 2: I think your father in law doesn't approve of your
relationship with his daughter or.
Speaker 1: Son and doesn't like you. Yeah. Oh, excellent, excellent wordplay. Ah,
it wasn't an accident. Oh, okay, confirming and not even
joking around this is uh no, No, I mean, I mean, listen,
I don't know Bones Crew. But imagine you're this guy,
You're you're this father in law and your beautiful daughter
a landlord. Yeah, your landlord and your beautiful daughter. Let's
call her a land princess, a lamb Land princess. Charlie
and Charlie's Mary's Bone Crew. Oh, she's no longer Charlie's landlord.
She's Charlie's Princess, Charlie's Bones Crew. Now what would you
think about that? If you were the father in law.
Speaker 2: I think I would attempt to murder him in my
rental property that I could then conceal his body within. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
this became less of a roast and more of like
a I think we discovered like a possible murder, possible crime. Yeah,
I mean, it seems like this roast might be the
last thing that Bones Crew.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, we have not heard back from Bone's
Crew yet. Oh oh, he said his birthday's coming up
in June. But I don't know if he made it.
Speaker 2: I don't know if he made it. Bones Crew right
back into us, because I want to make sure that
you're okay. This is a status check for Bones Crew.
I hope you have all of the legos that you
could have ever desired for your birthday. And if not,
I hope you're visiting the big Lego store up in
the sky.
Speaker 1: Or Lego Beach down here in Hell.
Speaker 2: Yeah, either way, we don't know what kind of person
you were. Okay, So that was us connecting, that was
us networking. How did we do Chadley?
Speaker 1: On a scale of one to ten, I'm going to
give that like it's an eight. First of all, your
heart was in it. Okay, you played a good game,
you really you empathize with Bones Crew. You put yourself
in Bones Crew's shoes. Yeah, not their electricians gloves on there, No, no, no, no,
no no. But you made a connection. And whether they're
still on Earth or whether they're coming down to rewire Hell,
you'll have a contact now. Okay, all right, Okay, that's
that's productive. Okay. So the next thing we got to
figure out some of these bills. Yeah, we've done the rebrand.
Now let's address our our in crippling crippling business debt.
I have got two words for you, diversified monetization.
Speaker 3: Diversified monitor If I can spell both of those, diversified diverse, diverse,
divers monetization.
Speaker 1: Money Nation Nation. Okay, what are your primary revenue streams
right now? Well, you got the Patreon come on, okay, okay, sorry,
sorry sorry. We have the e commerce merch that we have, Yeah,
store doc good Morning from Hell, which we have to
probably now change into store dot good Morning in Hell,
hell dot com. We've got all that merch. Change the
names from Hell. Should we change? Oh? I see some
holes in your lineup? Uh huh. I'm going to pitch
you a couple of ideas here. Now. When I was
a consultant for digital media companies, one of the things
that we had the most success in was experiences. Remember
I talked about conventions earlier, the kinds of meetups, confabulations,
things like that. My recommendation is Hell Con twenty twenty seven.
You rent out the biggest space you possibly can. Okay,
you load that ship up with so many sponsors. You
cram the people you work with minute by minute into
schedules that they haven't approved, and then everyone will pay
fucking far out the nose and you can charge different tiers.
Low tier you just get to show up to the
big panels. Mid tier you can go to minor panels
and maybe walk the floor high tier handshakes from hell,
you can handshake people. Take a little picture. These things
are fucking mints. Mints.
Speaker 2: Chris, a convention. I've never once considered doing a convention.
But that's I don't see how we can lose any
money from this. Yeah, and they have to be profitable
to They're so big not to fail. They're so big
they can't fail.
Speaker 1: Too big to fail. It can't not work. And there's
no way that you're gonna waste all of your money
on buildouts, on union fees, and on rentals. It's not
gonna happen because the number of people that are going
to come, I project tens of thousands of people walk ins,
walk outs buying your merch. You're gonna have extra benefits
for them to enjoy at the on and all it's
gonna cost you is your labor and time. Easy. That's it.
That's it.
Speaker 2: We have ample amounts of that, Chris, you have unlimited
Think of the turnstyle. That's that's a that's a metric
for measuring this right turnstyle.
Speaker 1: Wow, think of all the turnstiles. My turnstyle is mostly right,
but I can go left if I need to. Okay,
So all right, hellcon after you've launched Helcon, don't wait
until launching the next year. Immediately Helcon London. Oh, and
then after that hell Con Australia, and then after that
Hellcon London Part two. Oh, I love it Lincoln part two. Okay,
we're going international, Yeah, international, think of it. Good morning
in hell Mit. Oh crikey, they're gonna love us out there, Chris.
Do we have a big enough audience out there to
warrant such a convention? I don't know. The question should
never be asked the question, don't don't ask the question.
Don't ask the question. Does that ask the questions that
might be? Could that be a little nuber six? That's it.
It's part of the confidence It's part of the confidence rule.
Are you confident that you've got the audience? Yes? I
don't need to look at the data. I don't need
to look at the data. I am confident in the brand.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, all right, man, I think we're set
up for success. This is feeling like that blue ocean,
open sky strategy that you were talking about, and I'm
feeling I've never felt better.
Speaker 1: I'm just never feel more horny. Yeah, I'm really glad
that I could help you out with this rebrand. But
oh before I go, yeah, huh the last part of
the rebrand, Yeah, that you're forgetting you need a rebrand,
the rebrand because oh oh well, well they stay with me, okay,
sometimes sometimes not always, not always. Sometimes an audience they
don't love the rebrand. They don't love it. Sometimes they're wrong.
They're wrong, but you need to listen to them. They're wrong,
but listen to them. So let's rebrand. Okay, okay, oh
all right, good Morning in Hell original, good Morning from Hell?
Oh classic classic.
Speaker 2: Oh so we kind of do the nostalgia for the
people who missed the original because they didn't think it
was broken and it probably wasn't, right, Is that what
we're talking?
Speaker 1: Old heads? Yeah, the people who don't like change, the
people who agree with the original founding concept of the creators,
those are the ones that we need to appeal to
with the re rebrand. I see. Okay, so we got
to bring back our base.
Speaker 2: They probably fucking scrammed elsewhere and don't like us anymore.
But we got to get him back.
Speaker 1: To get him back. Okay, so we got good more,
we got good Morning from Hell. I shouldn't have ordered
all that good morning in hell merch. While we were talking,
throw it away, Chris, throw it away. It's nothing to me.
So what do we do with the logo though? Do
we go back to the same logo or do we
mess with that as well? I think we meld them together.
So a coffee cup with the with the old logo
and the steam coming out of the coffee cup is
an infinity signal. That is a clock with a halo
and a chef's kiss fist going up the infinity signal.
But that's the steam. Okay, it's very I would call it.
It's busy maximalist. Maximalists. Yeah, that's that's in. Now, that's big,
that's big. Okay, we're men maxilline. Yes, that's a gamer word.
Damn you fucking dork. All right, we rebranded the rebrands.
We're back to what's gonna make us strong from hell classic? Right,
We've got the conventions coming up in FTS, n FTS.
Maybe maybe sell some n FTS too, maybe launch a
crypto platform. Oh, those are definitely ideas, those are I mean,
we have dabbled with Clayton Coin a little bit in
the past. I could see no, I could see I
could see n FTS with like sixteen Clayton variants. You
get your board Clayton, you get your hazed Clayton, You
get your business casual Clayton. You get your beach Clayton. Oh,
beach Clayton. Beach people do like beach Clayton. That's man.
Speaker 2: We can make so much money it'd be like printing
the money. No repercussions, no hit to our reputation whatsoever.
Speaker 1: Fuck dude, this is great. So uh, last thing, need
to discuss anything? What a got? Yeah, we're welcome. You
need to lay off Chris. Oh like I'm giving him
too much of a hard time. I'm being too many
too a layoff me guess okay ah, yes, but no, no,
we need to Chris. You're gonna get let go, let go. Honestly,
we're restructuring your role. It's a strategic repositioning of what
you do here, which is take a paycheck, and instead
we're going to reroot that to my package, which is
going to be perpetual.
Speaker 2: You just slid me a piece of paper kind of
like covertly, and then now you're like clicking a pin
as if waiting for me to sign it. Your rate
is roughly twenty times the amount I pay Chris. So
if you think about it, I could have gotten like
nineteen more Chris is for the price of this rebrand.
Speaker 1: Rebrand. Yeah, but how valuable would you say, Chris is
so compared to the advice you've been giving me.
Speaker 2: M he's fucking nothing to me, Chadley, Chris, get the
fuck out of here.
Speaker 1: You're fucking get the fuck out, Chris. You fucking lose
horn air horn, rap horn, rap horn.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I can't afford those sound effects anymore because
Chris typically put them into post production.
Speaker 1: But I don't fucking care. Oh and I'm not sticking
around to do any editing work for you. That's why
I said it out loud. Oh okay, okay, Uh well,
so I guess you know what. Let's call the whole
thing off. Chris. Bye, all right, bye bye Chris. Sorry,
see Chris. Sorry. If I known we were letting you go,
I would have done like a more significant goodbye episode.
Just you know. We're gonna have the editor right now
put together a best of montage so long of all
of Chris's favorite moments. Ready set go, Hey guys, this
is Chris. Wow, hell, this is touching. Oh wow, tomorrow.
Remember that one. Yeah, fondly, fondly Wow, that really encapsulated
all the value he brought in his whole career. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Maybe someday when the audience reacts really poorly to me
firing Chris, we bring back Chris.
Speaker 1: Chris Classic, Chris Classic. No, get out, Chris, get the
fuck out. I'm talking to you, right, Okay, Sorry, sorry,
roll that second montage. Hey guys, good morning, Good Morning
from Hell dot com. The show's done, all right, Clayton,
I'm a I'll see you next time you need a rebrand.
Speaker 2: Okay, awesome, Chadley, pleasure doing business with you? Great, good,
good good, Okay, all right. I am all on my
own right now.
Speaker 1: The debt is still climbing ever higher between the ten
percent I have to pay Bones crew plus Chadley's exorbit rate,
and Chris is gone so I can't have him help me. Well,
this has been another episode good Morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: It might be my last, but thank you for tuning in.
If you I want to support a sinking ship, go
to good Morning from Hell dot com. That's our Patreon
cool all right, hell, Clayton, thanks for joining us for
another episode of Good Morning from Hell. This week our
special kiss Joel Rubin, Joel, thanks for coming by, man, Wow.
Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for the invite. Came out of nowhere and
I appreciate it. Were you speaking from a place of
experience in any of this or was this just like
a funny improv practice for you? Funny improv practice? You know?
I really just love getting the character does not come
from any deep industry fifteen years knowledge. No, not at all.
That's good. Have you guys considered a ping pong table
for your office a ping pong table for your just
I mean just I think that that would really help
company culture a lot. I think that would make us
a fun place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would. I think
so too, Joel. Where could people find you? Right now?
Where should I? Where should people go look for you?
I'm working on projects that have not aired, So you
know what if you just want to come to high
and tell me that you love me. I'm mostly active
on sadly Twitter at Joel Rubin Underscore. I'm also on Instagram,
but nobody fine, I don't post there, so you know,
all right, whatever, whatever, All right, Well we're gonna go
talk about why we are in fact going to hell
for our special post show only for Patreon, so check
that next week. Bye bye bye