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Speaker 1: The following program is transcribed.

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Speaker 2: Now for an hour of comedy, brought to you by

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the makers of Anison for fast, freely from pain of headaches,

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neurrotis and neuralsia by Chesterfield, the only cigarette that combines

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mildness with no unpleasant after taste. The cigarette that brings

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the car that's built for the years ahead, and by

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OURCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music,

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first in television. In thirty minutes you will hear Duffy's Tavern,

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but now it's radio's newest comedy show, The Magnificent Montague,

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The Magnificent Montague starring Marty Woolley. Before we begin, a

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word about a great drug product. If you suffer from

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pains of headaches, neurytis and neuralgia, you should discover what

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many thousands have known for years, that Anison brings incredibly fast,

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effective relief. Anison is like a doctor's prescription. That is,

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Anison contains not just one, but a combination of medically

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proven active ingredients in easy to take tablet form probably

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at some time you've received an envelope containing anison tablets

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from your physician or dentist. Thousands of people have been

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introduced to anison this way. Try andison yourself the next

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time you suffer from the pains of a headache eurytis

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on euralgia. You'll be delighted at how quickly relief can come.

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Alison is spelled anacian. Your druggist has anison and handy

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boxes of twelve and thirty tablets and economical family sized

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For anison today, And now for the magnificent Montague. There's

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former monarch of the Shakespearean stage who has now sunk

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to radio as uncle Goodheart of an afternoon program as usual,

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it is morning in the Montague apartment. Agnes and Lily

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are awaiting his first grand appearance of the.

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Speaker 1: Day, his arrival at the breakfast table.

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Speaker 3: Good morning, Agnes, coffee here you are, honey, Thank you, Agnes.

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Speaker 4: Is the thing up yet?

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Speaker 5: Do you mean Edwin?

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Speaker 4: I don't mean guy Lombardo.

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Speaker 3: Really, Agnes, current you refer to my husband in any

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other way?

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Speaker 4: But the thing Honey, I've spent twenty five years trying

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to figure out a way to describe him. He always

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comes out the things silly. Is he a stage actor, No,

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he's in radio. Is he in radio? No, he won't

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admit he sunk that low? Is he human? Now he's

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a beast? Is he a beast?

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Speaker 5: Now he's a jerk? Agnes, Please remember he's my husband.

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Speaker 4: There must be some whay of getting you a purple heart, Agnes,

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for me, will you please make an effort to get

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along with Edwin? Get along, Honey, you're looking at a

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broad who's fighting for a Lifees.

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Speaker 5: It isn't that.

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Speaker 4: Bad the minute he gets up in the morning. It's

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the law of the jungle.

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Speaker 3: But Agnes, if you're a little more tolerant with him,

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I'm sure he'll unbend.

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Speaker 6: Honey.

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Speaker 4: For ten years I've been wearing pointed shoes just waiting

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for him to bend.

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Speaker 3: Agnes, sweetheart, Remember Edwin's going through a mental strain, trying

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to keep it a secret that the magnificent montocue of

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the legitimate theater is in radio, and uncle goodheart at

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that not try and get along with him?

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Speaker 5: Just once? Would you say good morning to him.

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Speaker 4: Good morning, okay, honey for you?

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Speaker 5: Oh good, He'll be out any minute.

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Speaker 3: It's almost time for his morning vocal exercises are.

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Speaker 7: Here.

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Speaker 4: We are roaming the hill.

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Speaker 1: I roll me, I rolled ere.

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Speaker 3: Oom lo here the gentle lot Agnes go ahead, Ah.

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Speaker 4: Good morning, mister montaguell What was that?

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Speaker 5: Edwin? Agnes was saying? Good morning?

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Speaker 8: Is that what that sound was? I thought the city

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was widening the street?

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Speaker 5: Edwin, Agnes brings breakfast.

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Speaker 4: See what I mean? Honey? It's dog eat dog dog.

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Speaker 5: Good?

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Speaker 8: What a welcome change from her usual breakfast ed.

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Speaker 3: When curved dawn, Agnes is making an effort to get

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along with you. Agnes serving is breakfast.

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Speaker 8: Here it comes my morning boat with Lucretia boarder.

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Speaker 4: How do you want your eggs? Sunny side upper? In

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your face?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 8: Miss Tolmain scaped back to your garbage can Edwin?

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Speaker 5: Don she's trying to be nice.

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Speaker 4: Here's your eggs, mister Montague.

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Speaker 5: See Edwin, she called you, mister Montague.

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Speaker 8: Must she make it sound like a dirty would.

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Speaker 6: Here?

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Speaker 5: Edwin eat your eggs?

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Speaker 1: Cad? What a messy sight? Just because the eggs were

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laid by a plymouth rock.

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Speaker 8: Must they look as if a pilgrim just pulled his

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foot out of them.

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Speaker 4: Look, they're just eggs. I buy them, fry them, and

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serve them from there on. Take it up with a.

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Speaker 5: Chicken, Edwin, eat your eggs.

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Speaker 4: What's wrong now?

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Speaker 8: Nothing like this? Congratulations you discovered a new plastic.

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Speaker 4: When he gets a load of the toast, here's your toast,

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mister Monague, stand back.

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Speaker 8: Honey, mammy, little baby loves buttered shingles.

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Speaker 1: You take these clickers away.

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Speaker 5: No, no, they're just a little brown brown.

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Speaker 8: This toast is so badly burnt. I'm sure I can

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collect insurance on.

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Speaker 4: It, all right, Agnes his coffee here, I'm afraid of

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still hot.

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Speaker 5: Oho legend.

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Speaker 1: What's the matter, Lily, don't touch that coffee? Have it analyzed? Oh?

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Speaker 3: Edwin, stop being so picky. So what if the coffee

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happens to be a mite strong?

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Speaker 1: Lily?

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Speaker 9: I don't mind strong coffee, but I do not like

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it when it comes out of the cup swinging.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what he's beefing about. You liked the

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coffee yesterday, and it's the same grounds.

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Speaker 3: And when you have a broadcast today, you can't go

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hungry hungry.

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Speaker 8: The minute I look at that dirty apron she's wearing

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my appetites.

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Speaker 6: Gone dirty apron, My dear like this.

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Speaker 8: Let's face it, there are more nutritious vitamins on your

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apron than I've had all months.

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Speaker 4: Maybe you want me to serve your breakfast and myself, Kimona.

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Speaker 1: The one that says golden glove on the back.

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Speaker 5: Now stop it and I'll stop it both of you.

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Speaker 4: Why are we wasting all this time with his breakfast?

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Why don't I just go into his bedroom every morning

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with a whip and of chaan throwma hunk at me?

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Speaker 8: Oh oh, please spare me the sight of you when

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I first opened my eyes.

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Speaker 1: Those hair curlers on that flat head.

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Speaker 8: You look like a roof full of television aerials.

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Speaker 4: Why you you singing? You hide me?

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Speaker 8: Be it ever so humble. There is no place like

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ewol GiMA.

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Speaker 5: Edwin, these fights every morning can't go on.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you've come to realize it. Agnes has to go.

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Speaker 5: Oh, let's not go through that again.

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Speaker 1: Agnes is a maid. She's supposed to cook and clean.

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Speaker 5: Now, Edwin, Agnes is very neat.

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Speaker 1: Very neat. Have you been in my den recently?

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Speaker 8: I'm not asking you to take that dirt away, But

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if she don't plow it once in a while, Edwin,

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you know.

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Speaker 5: How you are. She's afraid to go into your.

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Speaker 1: Den, so am I. It's becoming a game preserve.

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Speaker 6: Edwin.

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Speaker 5: Stop being ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: Lily, I'm serious. She's ruining my health.

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Speaker 5: Oh but Agnes has been with us for twenty five years,

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and she was my wardrobe woman before that.

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Speaker 3: We can't just turn Agnes out into the streets.

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Speaker 8: We certainly can, although frankly I'd rather wait until there

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was a blizzard.

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Speaker 5: No, ed When I won't permit it. Why Agnes is

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our our good luck piece?

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Speaker 9: All right, then let's nail her over the door like

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a horse shoeing, Lily, I can't stand it anymore.

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Speaker 5: Either she goes or I go when maybe we can

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work it out.

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Speaker 1: No, that's my decision. Get rid of her.

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Speaker 5: All these years? How can I do this?

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Speaker 8: Give me a year's salary anything, I'm going into my

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dad and then when I return, I want this apartment

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to be Agnes less.

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Speaker 5: Agnes.

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Speaker 4: Yes, honey, Agnes, sit down.

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Speaker 5: I'd like to talk to you.

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Speaker 4: Is blue Beard gone?

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Speaker 5: No, he's in the den. Agnes. We've been together a

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long time. Haven't we.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we had a lot of laughs too before you

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went and fell for Count Dracula.

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Speaker 5: Remember that start company in Cincinnati.

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Speaker 4: That guy playing Hamlet making a play for you? He

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sure was a piste until I put itching powder in

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his tie.

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Speaker 5: And remember what happened to the scenery in Omaha.

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Speaker 4: Please, honey, no more. You're just making it tougher for me,

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tougher for you. Yeah. I've been trying to put it.

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Speaker 5: Off, but I can't, Agnes, what is it?

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Speaker 4: Honey, don't try and talk me out of it. I'm quitting.

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I'm leaving before I become another notch in.

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Speaker 5: His cane, A notch in his cane.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, didn't you ever notice them? Four notches in his cane,

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One for every person he's giving a nervous breakdown to.

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I'm getting while they're Getting's good, But Edges, where would

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you go any place where I can relax like a

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snake pit. I'm all packed. I'm leaving before I can

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change my mind right away. Yeah, honey, you know, I

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wish I had one more chance to fix a meal

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for him. I got an idea for a casserole that

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would make you a free woman.

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Speaker 5: Oh, Agnes, Oh miss you so Oh.

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Speaker 4: Don't worry. I'll keep in touch with you so long, Honey, goodbye, Agnes.

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Speaker 1: Did I hear the front door slam?

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Speaker 9: Was that wonderful, wonderful sound, Agnes making her final exit

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from my.

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Speaker 5: Yes, Sir, Agnes is gone. She went of her own accord.

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Speaker 1: It's too bad. I was hoping we'd have to use force, Edwin.

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Speaker 5: How can you say things like that.

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Speaker 1: Hellily, Agnes is gone.

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Speaker 8: Look the sun is shining through the dirty windows.

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Speaker 1: Listen, my heart is seeing. I'm a boy again.

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Speaker 5: Kiss me the leg, Oh, Edwin, Agnes has gone.

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Speaker 1: All it took was getting Agnes out of the house.

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I'm a new man.

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Speaker 5: Here's your coat, little sunbeam. You have to get your

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radio broadcast.

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Speaker 8: Now for a wonderful afternoon with my good friends and

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colleagues at the radio station. Lily, I never like to

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mention my competitors, but life can be beautiful.

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Speaker 9: Well, look, sensor, you're the director of the Uncle Good

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Heart program.

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Speaker 1: It's your duty to talent.

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Speaker 6: Let's just bring here the producer. It's up to you

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to mister Montague, our sensor.

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Speaker 9: Just come out and tell him that entertain's program Uncle

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Good Heart for friends, a homeless Airdale, and the sponsor

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insists he work with a live dog.

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Speaker 7: A live dog. He doesn't even like to work with

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live people. Mister Springer, I have a wife and four children.

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Speaker 9: You tell him, just tell him. The Airdale licks his

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face a few times and he kisses it back.

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Speaker 7: Oh, no, censor your coward, mister Springer.

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Speaker 6: I've never denied that. Please you tell him, I.

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Speaker 1: Do it, Zinser.

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Speaker 9: But I just get into another argument with him.

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Speaker 1: He never argues with you.

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Speaker 9: I know.

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Speaker 6: He just hits me now, looks insir, sh.

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Speaker 1: Here it comes now you tell him.

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Speaker 6: About the dog.

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Speaker 1: Ah, mister goodenough to do.

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Speaker 6: Don't hit me?

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Speaker 8: Hit you Zinza, my friend, I'm only holding out my

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hand to shift yours.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, and.

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Speaker 1: My dear friend, mister Springer, how are you fine? Fine?

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A little busy?

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Speaker 6: Mister Sinsa.

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Speaker 9: Will explain a few minor points about today's Uncle Good

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Heart program, and.

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Speaker 8: Don't rush Offspringer. Well, Sinsa, what have you imps devised

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for your.

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Speaker 1: Old uncle to do this afternoon?

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Speaker 6: Wow?

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Speaker 7: Well, mister Montague, it's the sponsor's idea. A friendless Airdale

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comes to your cottage and you take him in.

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Speaker 8: But naturally, Uncle good Heart and man's best friend.

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Speaker 1: Beautiful thought.

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Speaker 6: We're using a live dog.

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Speaker 1: Excellent, He lets.

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Speaker 6: Your face and you kiss him back.

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Speaker 1: What a scene, stark realism, Oh, Sinsa, we're going to give.

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Speaker 8: Our lists both barrels today a live dog.

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Speaker 9: I tried to get the sponsor to use an animal imitator.

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Speaker 1: Ah, Springer, that's where you're wrong. Where's your imagination, your

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sense of the dramatic.

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Speaker 8: But I'll forgive you if you will give me the

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name of your tailor, my tailor. I've always envied your

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immaculate appearance, your beautiful clothes.

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Speaker 9: Really, I always pride myself on being well dressed. I

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have a little tailor on twenty fourth Street, if you

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wish me to make an appointment for you, the most

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kind of your Springer?

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Speaker 6: How terrible and tall?

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Speaker 10: Mister Montague and zins out here, Cinsa.

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Speaker 1: I was always saying to missus Montague this morning. Why

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don't we see more of mister Zinza.

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Speaker 6: You want to see more of meter?

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Speaker 8: Oh, I'm peeved at you, mister Zinsa. You are You've

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never asked us out to your home. I've never met

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your family.

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Speaker 6: We live in the Bronx.

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Speaker 1: H the Bronx haven't been there since the boy uncle

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had a farm there.

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Speaker 7: If you'd like to come to dinner, sir, that's super

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the Bronx.

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Speaker 8: It would do lily and be a will good to

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get out of the city.

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Speaker 7: But mister Montague, I better warn you. I have four children.

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Speaker 8: Oh you most fortunate of men. All the blessings of

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a happy home. Cinza I too, now, for the first

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time in twenty five years, have a happy home.

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Speaker 1: Then we're invited.

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Speaker 7: Well, gee, mister Montague, I never expected.

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Speaker 6: How about tomorrow.

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Speaker 7: Night, it's a date gae Wellaker's boy. My wife can

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make meatballs.

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Speaker 5: Meatballs.

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Speaker 1: Somebody must have told you they're my favorite.

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Speaker 6: You're honest. Oh here he is, mister Montague. There Dale,

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that's going to work with you.

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Speaker 1: Say hello to mister Montague. Wade off. Look he's giving

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me his paw a little doggy is woo.

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Speaker 7: Oh my, isn't that the cutest thing?

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Speaker 6: Ain't offers looking mister Montague's f.

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Speaker 1: Ooh it tickles.

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Speaker 9: A happy days ahead for all of us.

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Speaker 2: We'll be back with a magnificent molegule in just a moment. Now,

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let's hear from a very good friend of yours.

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Speaker 1: This is Bob hope. Can we steal a second?

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Speaker 2: Say, Bob, did you notice there's a new Chesterfield poster

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of you around town?

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Speaker 11: Yeah? I saw him in a drug store the other day.

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I'm dressed up as Santa Claus.

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Speaker 9: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And you're holding a carton of Chesterfields with a picture

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of being you know who dressed up as Santa Claus.

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And you're saying for Christmas gifts. Here's the answer, Yep,

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Crosby for Christmas.

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Speaker 1: Bob.

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Speaker 2: Seriously, why did they make Crosby Papa Santa Claus and

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the Christmas cart instead of you?

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00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:03,559
Speaker 1: Well?

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00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:08,160
Speaker 11: Hi, By tradition, Santa Claus is no man, yes, always

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carrying a sack full.

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Speaker 2: Well, in all fairness to Being Bob, I must say,

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it's a very attractive gift, and as.

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Speaker 11: Packed with two hundreds of those always milder Chesterfields, which

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make as fine a gift as anyone could give or

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00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,559
anyone could get. And folks, if you want to prove that,

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00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,599
just for yourself, make that Chesterfield mildness test.

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Speaker 1: Open them, smell them, compare them, and smoke them.

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00:18:28,079 --> 00:18:33,079
Speaker 12: Chesterfield Chesterfield always been first planking that milder mild to

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that don't ever leasen after.

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Speaker 1: Taste so open up pack, give him a smell.

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Speaker 5: You smoke them.

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Speaker 11: See you Tuesday night, folks for Chesterfield.

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Speaker 2: Time, and I'll back to the magnificent Montague. It is

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the next morning. In the now Happy, Happy Montague apartment,

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Lily and the new maid are ready for Montague's first

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breakfast under the new regime.

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Speaker 3: Oh, by the way, Sarah, Yes, Missus Montague, my husband

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00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,839
and I are going to Bronx for dinner tonight the Zienses,

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so don't cook tonight.

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Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am.

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00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 12: Oh, Missus Montague. Do you think Uncle, i mean, mister Montague.

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Speaker 5: Will like me. Oh no, don't be nervous. Oh you're

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shaking working.

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Speaker 4: For uncle good heart. I'm one of his.

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Speaker 5: Biggest fans that will do it.

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Speaker 12: On his program yesterday when he took the sliver out

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of that dog's paw and he bandaged the.

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Speaker 4: Little Paul and then little dog lit his face.

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Speaker 5: He's such a good man. No, no, no, Sarah, or

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your nose is getting read. I'm sorry. Yes, I think

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he's coming.

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Speaker 4: He's sick.

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Speaker 3: I'll call doctor Sarah back.

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Speaker 5: He's just vocalizing. He's an actor.

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Speaker 1: Lily, who is this angel in white by Edwin?

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Speaker 5: This is our new maid, Sarah.

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Speaker 8: Sarah the divine Sarah, oh Lila, call her off before

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she leaks through to the apartment.

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Speaker 3: Downstairs, ed when she's overcome with happiness. She's one of

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your listeners.

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Speaker 1: Come now, Sarah, we must be brave. Bring my breakfast.

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Speaker 5: Yes, Uncle Edwin.

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Speaker 8: She is sweet, naturally after Agnes Lizzie Borden, the axe

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killer of Paul River, would be sweet.

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Speaker 1: I'm hungry.

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Speaker 8: I've been waiting twenty five years to have one breakfast

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not prepared by Agnes.

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Speaker 4: Is your orange juice?

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Speaker 5: Sir?

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Sarah Edwin.

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Speaker 5: What's the matter with it?

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Speaker 8: What kind of orange juice is this? Agnes never made

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it like this. There are no seeds in it.

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Speaker 5: Far quiet, Sarah.

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Speaker 3: He's not used to orange juice like that. Now take

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it back to the kitchen, put some seeds in it

377
00:21:12,559 --> 00:21:13,240
and warm it up.

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Speaker 13: Yes, ma'am.

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Speaker 4: Here are your eggs, sir, eggs?

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Speaker 8: This wet mass of goo or eggs?

381
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Speaker 14: When you shut up, Edwin, Edwin's shame on you. This

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00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,960
is our new May, the new May. This is Rudolph

383
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,960
the red nose reindeer.

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Speaker 5: A red nose reindeer.

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Speaker 12: I quit now, Sarah, Uncle good heart, I'll never believe

386
00:21:48,079 --> 00:21:51,480
another thing I hear on the radio again, not.

387
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Speaker 5: Even the weather? Another one gone?

388
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 8: And who have you next on the list? Typhoid?

389
00:22:01,519 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 1: Marry Edwin?

390
00:22:04,319 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 5: What's come over you?

391
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 1: And just getting smart? Lily? I catch on, catch on, Lily,

392
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I'm on your little plan.

393
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Speaker 8: You hand picked that white apron monstrosity to make life

394
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,160
miserable for me miserable.

395
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Speaker 1: You're taking revenge for my getting rid of Agnes Edwin.

396
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 5: You're getting impossible.

397
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 8: Yes, impossible, a fool, your snider, little trick.

398
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:29,559
Speaker 5: Snider, little tricks Edwin. What's happened? We're having our first fight.

399
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,039
Speaker 1: Let's bring it all out into the open.

400
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,079
Speaker 8: I took you out of those musicals and made you

401
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,559
a dramatic actress for what.

402
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,799
Speaker 1: So you could steal scenes from me?

403
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,519
Speaker 5: Edwin? Montague? You were, you are, you always will be.

404
00:22:43,039 --> 00:22:46,519
Speaker 1: A hand Lily. That is one word I forbid in

405
00:22:46,559 --> 00:22:47,000
my home.

406
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 5: You're a home.

407
00:22:50,599 --> 00:22:52,880
Speaker 1: I have a broadcast to do. Where's my hat?

408
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:03,319
Speaker 6: Haha?

409
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,319
Speaker 9: Montague Springer, take your dirty hands off my sleep. Dirty

410
00:23:07,839 --> 00:23:09,440
but I just wanted to tell you I made an

411
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:10,400
appointment for you.

412
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 6: With my tailor.

413
00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:14,519
Speaker 1: You have a tailor? You mean human hands?

414
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 8: Actually put together those gunny sacks you wear.

415
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 9: What mister Montague, my taylor, I wouldn't let him make

416
00:23:22,759 --> 00:23:23,559
my shroud.

417
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: You would come out with a belt in the back.

418
00:23:28,079 --> 00:23:32,839
Speaker 7: But mister pat there, mister Montague, I wrote out the

419
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,640
directions how to get to my house, how to get

420
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where were dinner tonight at my house in the bronx.

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Speaker 1: My dear demented friend. I wouldn't be caught dead in

422
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:43,960
the bronx.

423
00:23:44,599 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 6: But you were coming to dinner.

424
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 7: My wife made twenty five pounds of meatballs.

425
00:23:50,599 --> 00:23:52,519
Speaker 1: Round up the children, I hope.

426
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 7: Mister Montague, that's the most horrible thing I ever heard.

427
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 6: In my life.

428
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,799
Speaker 1: Thank you in the thank you? Are you gonna have

429
00:24:01,839 --> 00:24:02,839
a rehearsal here today?

430
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 6: Ah?

431
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,319
Speaker 1: Here comes my little friend Adolf.

432
00:24:08,519 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 6: Take this.

433
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 8: Is everybody happy?

434
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: Lily, Lily, Lily, are.

435
00:24:27,519 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 6: You home here?

436
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 1: I am, Edward.

437
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,759
Speaker 5: Sorry, I'm not out of your house yet. But there

438
00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:35,000
was a lot of package.

439
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 8: Lily put down those suitcases and stopped putting on this

440
00:24:38,319 --> 00:24:41,000
second act curtain, the backstreet gudge.

441
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,079
Speaker 1: It was never your strongest point.

442
00:24:43,519 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 5: Ed when I'm leaving you, what did I do?

443
00:24:46,079 --> 00:24:46,279
Speaker 9: Now?

444
00:24:46,559 --> 00:24:50,759
Speaker 5: Edwin? Stop this after that scene this morning, Lily.

445
00:24:50,799 --> 00:24:52,519
Speaker 1: Don't go please.

446
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,319
Speaker 5: Edward what's happened to you?

447
00:24:54,319 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 3: You were always impossible, but this is impossible.

448
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: I know it, Lily. I can't help it.

449
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 8: I've been going around insulting people, making everybody miserable.

450
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:09,559
Speaker 1: I even kicked little aid Doll. Lily, I know what's

451
00:25:09,559 --> 00:25:10,119
wrong with me?

452
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 6: So do I? You do?

453
00:25:13,079 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 5: Yes?

454
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,799
Speaker 1: Get her back, Lily, Get Agnes back.

455
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:17,839
Speaker 5: It's too late.

456
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 1: She was my escape valve.

457
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,559
Speaker 9: Without Agnes to pick out. I'm frustrated.

458
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,799
Speaker 5: I became your whipping girl instead of Agnes.

459
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 1: She was the only one who would strike back. Get Agnes.

460
00:25:28,079 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 5: It's too late. She's with a very fine family. You

461
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,319
don't think she'd come back to be tormented by you.

462
00:25:34,559 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 1: Who's that, Edwin?

463
00:25:35,799 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 5: Go to your den. That's Agnes, Agnes, she called. She

464
00:25:40,079 --> 00:25:41,640
still has some clothes to take away.

465
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 8: I'll go, Lily, plead with her, get her to come back.

466
00:25:46,519 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 5: I wouldn't do that to her. Edwin. You go to

467
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,519
your den. You've caused her enough trouble.

468
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 4: Come in, hello, honey, Agnes.

469
00:25:56,039 --> 00:25:57,640
Speaker 5: How's the new job? That? People are?

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00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 4: Wonderful? Beautiful room with the television said? It's Agnes. Can

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00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:01,480
we give you this?

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00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:02,039
Speaker 6: Agnes?

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00:26:02,079 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 4: Can we bring you that? This morning? I sneezed that

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00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:10,359
brought me breakfast in bed? Really, honey, it's driving me nothing.

475
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,880
Nobody insults me. I got nobody to else back.

476
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,759
Speaker 5: Yet then I got a.

477
00:26:15,799 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 4: Right to be human. I'm like a piece of furniture.

478
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,359
They've got no status.

479
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 13: At least with Morning you had a place that was

480
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:29,759
his enemy. Oh but you are after twenty five years

481
00:26:29,759 --> 00:26:33,599
with monitor, who can stand quiet? Those smiles and affection

482
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,240
they give me it makes me sick.

483
00:26:36,279 --> 00:26:37,839
Speaker 4: Honey, let me come back here.

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00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:44,759
Speaker 3: Or Agnes, welcome, whome Edwin the lady you call?

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00:26:46,039 --> 00:26:48,759
Speaker 1: Oh hello, Agnes.

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00:26:49,279 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 4: Hello, mister Montague Edwin, Agnes has come back to us.

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00:26:55,480 --> 00:27:00,400
Speaker 1: Yes, so you came crawling back on you like a

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00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:00,960
whipped thought.

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00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 4: It was you that drew me back here. I could

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00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,039
fly to a garbage dumber.

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00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 6: Edwin.

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00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 4: Ed Why that big bubble head?

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00:27:16,279 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: Oh right, aness, Lily put her back on the leash, Edwin.

494
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,599
Speaker 8: Please, if miss Dutchkins thinks she's gonna start throwing her

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00:27:24,599 --> 00:27:28,279
weight around here again, she's a cand Lily. Look at

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00:27:28,279 --> 00:27:31,799
the time, the time. Yes, we're due at the Zinzas

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00:27:31,839 --> 00:27:32,359
for dinner.

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00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 2: Home, Sweet home, ladies and gentlemen. America's newest car, the

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00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:55,759
Fine you. Ford for nineteen fifty one is now on

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00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:58,880
display at your neighborhood for dealers, and when you see it,

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00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,960
you'll find an inside and out in every detail of

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00:28:02,039 --> 00:28:05,920
design and construction, the nineteen fifty one Ford reflects true

503
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,720
fine car quality, and in addition, it offers forty three

504
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,160
look ahead features designed to keep the fifty one Ford

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00:28:13,279 --> 00:28:17,599
young in appearance and young in performance. For example, there's

506
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:22,039
Ford's smart luxury lounge interiors with their exclusive color harmonized

507
00:28:22,079 --> 00:28:25,680
Ford Craft fabrics. There's the new automatic ride control that

508
00:28:25,759 --> 00:28:28,599
automatically adjusts spring reaction to the type of road to

509
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,920
give you a level ride, an easy ride. And there's

510
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,000
the automatic mileage maker that lets you get the last

511
00:28:35,079 --> 00:28:38,319
mile out of every gallon of gasoline for utmost economy.

512
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,880
Visit your Ford dealers soon and see the nineteen fifty

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00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,880
one Ford yourself. You'll agree you can pay more, but

514
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,480
you can't buy better. Join us again next Friday for

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00:28:49,559 --> 00:28:53,960
another transcribed visit with a magnificent Montague starring Marty Woolli,

516
00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:57,759
created and directed by Matt Hyken, written by Matt Hiken

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00:28:57,799 --> 00:29:01,680
and Billy Friedberg, and Seymour was aim Pert. Kelton was

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00:29:01,759 --> 00:29:05,920
Agnes also heard on tonight's program with Johnny Gibson Hart, Connie,

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00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:09,599
John Griggs, Pat Hossley, and Frank Malono. This is Don

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00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:14,079
Pardo saying stay tuned for Duffy's Tavern, which follows immediately