Speaker 1: It's time for our nine news nuggets.
Speaker 2: You need to know stories that kind of fell through
Speaker 2: the cracks, because you know there's a lot else, a
Speaker 2: lot of other stuff going on.
Speaker 3: I totally ps still picture Renee on that lounge in
Speaker 3: some sort of kaftan with a cocktail.
Speaker 1: For martiniz Deep. Yes, here's our Honorable Mention.
Speaker 2: Honorable Mention not supposed to mention when.
Speaker 1: Men, it's been an honor serving with you.
Speaker 3: A.
Speaker 2: Great and honorable most is So today we're holding auditions
Speaker 2: to become the newest member of Honorable Mention. And it
Speaker 2: almost feels like any time you sign up for a
Speaker 2: big festival slash events, burning Man, fire Festival, something, it's
Speaker 2: going to end up underwhelming.
Speaker 1: In this case, did.
Speaker 3: The fire Festival of book talk?
Speaker 2: In this case, people traveled to Baltimore thousands of dollars,
Speaker 2: some of them paid for an event advertised as a
Speaker 2: romantic book convention.
Speaker 3: Who do you think is going to show up at this?
Speaker 3: What are you expecting? Are you expecting this to be
Speaker 3: like when all of the Hunger Games fans descended on
Speaker 3: La Live to you know what I mean? Like where
Speaker 3: you're with a bunch of like minded people and you
Speaker 3: can talk about the fans stuff and all of that,
Speaker 3: because when I think of romantic fantasy books, those are books.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like when I went to go see
Speaker 3: Fifty Shades of Gray in the movie theater, like in
Speaker 3: the middle of the day before anchoring the John and
Speaker 3: Ken show. The whole thing, that whole sentence should be flushed,
Speaker 3: but it happened, and I thought to myself, why am
Speaker 3: I watching this movie? This like softcore porn with strangers
Speaker 3: in Burbank at ten am.
Speaker 2: Out of the day, right, just at least wait until
Speaker 2: after four, you know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I understand some sort of like fan groups
Speaker 3: where you'd want to be the Star Wars or whatever.
Speaker 3: But when you're talking about romance, do you really want
Speaker 3: to be with a bunch of other people read the
Speaker 3: same sex scenes that you did? I don't know, Maybe
Speaker 3: you do.
Speaker 1: Maybe you do.
Speaker 2: In this case, very few people showed up. These were
Speaker 2: mostly books sellers, like authors that were self publishing these
Speaker 2: romanticy books, and they said that they had very few customers,
Speaker 2: so they were upset.
Speaker 3: Number nine.
Speaker 1: Number nine I did n.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my goodness, you get spicy languages. I feel
Speaker 3: scared for her unborn children in there, Oh.
Speaker 2: My gosh, guy in Chicago, owner of a South Side
Speaker 2: property on the market to be sold. But when one
Speaker 2: of the realtors walked by, there were already people inside
Speaker 2: and Marco Alaskaz, the owner, could not figure out how
Speaker 2: Chermaine and Cadoro moved in, claiming that they had recently
Speaker 2: purchased the property. They were squatters taking advantage of this thing,
Speaker 2: he said. The couple showed him, at least showed the
Speaker 2: police a mortgage document. Cook County, of course, confirmed they
Speaker 2: did not have any sort of mortgage on record, so
Speaker 2: they were squatters trying to take over this thing.
Speaker 1: So what did Marco do? He moved in with.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna say, Chermaine and Cordero sound like a
Speaker 3: good time, Marco, You'll go through life with Schermain and
Speaker 3: Cadero is your name and not be fun. You just don't.
Speaker 3: Does anybody know a mean or a difficult Chermain.
Speaker 2: Marco called a couple of friends and they moved in
Speaker 2: basically and stayed the night with the squatters. We stayed
Speaker 2: in the living room watching the door. They stayed in
Speaker 2: one of the bedrooms. We stayed the whole night. The
Speaker 2: next morning he realized that Chrmaine and Cardero were not
Speaker 2: going to move, and he's they told him, we want
Speaker 2: eight grand of what.
Speaker 1: We paid so we can leave your property.
Speaker 2: They eventually signed a cash for key agreement as common
Speaker 2: as it is, and paid them forty three hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: To Waters are so emboldened these days and with the
Speaker 3: law behind them in many cases. Number number eight, or
Speaker 3: as Keanu would say.
Speaker 1: Our client is bold.
Speaker 3: Every eight second listening to eight different bosses drawn on
Speaker 3: about mission statements.
Speaker 1: He.
Speaker 3: Sometimes we fall on hard times, Okay, Sometimes we don't
Speaker 3: have all the money we need to buy our drugs.
Speaker 3: Sometimes we have to borrow the drugs, and then sometimes
Speaker 3: we can't pay the money back for the drugs. So
Speaker 3: in those cases, sometimes an eight hundred pound rare historic
Speaker 3: cannon presents itself and you swipe it, and you swipe it,
Speaker 3: and you bring it to your dealer and you're like, hey,
Speaker 3: I've got this piece of war history from Kansas. Can
Speaker 3: I give you this concrete cannon in exchange for wiping
Speaker 3: out my drug? It seems plausible to me. Hey, you've
Speaker 3: been up for four weeks.
Speaker 2: Here's the most implausible, the most implausible thing you said,
Speaker 2: concrete cannon.
Speaker 3: I would assume it's concrete.
Speaker 1: No, No, it's metal. He's selling the metal for scrap.
Speaker 3: Oh he's not selling it for historical value.
Speaker 1: No, no, that's why I pieced it. That's why.
Speaker 2: The most unlikely aspect of this story is the guy's
Speaker 2: name is Gordon Pierce the Third. Do you know anybody
Speaker 2: with the third after their name that owes a cocaine
Speaker 2: dealer a lot of money?
Speaker 3: No, because they have enough money to pay their dealers.
Speaker 1: It's the third.
Speaker 3: Do you know anybody named the third who doesn't do cocaine? No?
Speaker 1: Yes, my brother in law. Oh he's a third.
Speaker 3: You don't know him that well, Brocaine?
Speaker 1: Seven years of college, don't it?
Speaker 3: Seven seven seven seven days?
Speaker 1: This sounds like a Cheech and Chong movie.
Speaker 2: It does twenty five thousand people who live in I'm
Speaker 2: gonna pronounce it wrong. Lice, a town in Turkey, involuntarily
Speaker 2: got high after their police force burned tens of tons
Speaker 2: of seized cannabis in the center of the town. This
Speaker 2: the whole thing was to burn over twenty tons of
Speaker 2: confiscated cannabis. That, of course, caused the air in the
Speaker 2: town to become thick with the weed. Smoke people for
Speaker 2: five days. People couldn't leave their windows open and had
Speaker 2: to avoid going out.
Speaker 3: Why would they waste all that pot?
Speaker 4: Because it's not legal in Turkey, so it's legal other places.
Speaker 4: You sell it to the other places where it's legal.
Speaker 4: Just export it or just sell it in the black market.
Speaker 4: No need to burn it, waste not, want not.
Speaker 1: Here's number six. I got six, you got six? Give six,
Speaker 1: number six. There's six more weeks of water?
Speaker 3: What you picture of me?
Speaker 1: A rabbi and six drunk and longshomny We just dig
Speaker 1: you in a nursing home. Closure to ask. I don't
Speaker 1: have to.
Speaker 3: Drink another So TikTok's latest trend has students setting their
Speaker 3: chrome books on fire. As you can imagine, this has
Speaker 3: resulted in school evacuations safety warnings across the country. It's
Speaker 3: known as the chrome book challenge. What a rich kid thing,
Speaker 3: well a rich school thing definitely had. So many schools
Speaker 3: now use chromebooks and hand them out to the kids.
Speaker 1: Wow that if you if.
Speaker 2: You give a kid something that is that valuable without
Speaker 2: them having any idea of how valuable it is, they're
Speaker 2: going to blow it up because they're dumb.
Speaker 1: We're all dumb. We all did stupid stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Remember yesterday when the fire department was here and I said,
Speaker 3: is it finally on fire? And they just looked at me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And they took your picture without you knowing, and
Speaker 2: they're going to keep it on file. So anytime there
Speaker 2: is an arson or suspicious fire anywhere within a twenty
Speaker 2: block radius of this place, they're going to be calling.
Speaker 3: The calling what the fire department.
Speaker 1: No, they're going to be calling the movie that's white bro.
Speaker 3: The fire department rarely rats you out to the cops.
Speaker 3: It's a little fun fact.
Speaker 1: They could call me, I would write you out.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you would rat out a freaking ham sandwich.
Speaker 3: You see. John got a ham sandwich from Jersey Mikes.
Speaker 3: I love Jersey Mikes. And you know how when your
Speaker 3: kids were little and you'd make them a sandwich and
Speaker 3: you'd put one piece of bologney in there because that
Speaker 3: was that's how they like their sandwich. Right, Sure, you wouldn't.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't make like a Deli sandwich for them and
Speaker 3: put a bunch of meat in.
Speaker 1: There, fold up the meat, right Yeah, No, no.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't do that because they're five. John also takes
Speaker 3: out all of the meat of this sandwich and just
Speaker 3: has like a couple slices in there of ham.
Speaker 1: Like you tell them they're making it that you don't
Speaker 1: want that much.
Speaker 3: Here, because then you'd have to be embarrassed in front
Speaker 3: of everyone in line of the Jersey Mike's But he
Speaker 3: took all the ham out. He had like just a
Speaker 3: couple of slices of ham in there. I said, what's
Speaker 3: going on with all that ham? So I don't like
Speaker 3: a lot of ham on my sandwich. It looked perfectly good.
Speaker 3: I almost eat the ham, to be honest, but I'm
Speaker 3: full I would have eaten that ham.
Speaker 1: What color was the hand?
Speaker 4: It was?
Speaker 3: That's white, bro It was a beautiful shade of ham.
Speaker 1: It's number five is not a color. We begin bombing
Speaker 1: in five minutes. Five, little monee, this is the year
Speaker 1: five point five. Five would me a favorite? Loose five
Speaker 1: pounds immediately.
Speaker 3: And it's thin slice too.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good.
Speaker 3: I love a thin sliced piece of ham.
Speaker 2: Man known to throw cans of food and other items
Speaker 2: around a Florida neighborhood in Port Charlotte, has been arrested
Speaker 2: and neighbor said he threw canned corn through her window.
Speaker 2: She was outside when she heard the sound of glass breaking,
Speaker 2: turned toward the noise and found that one of her neighbors,
Speaker 2: a guy named Erez Centerville, was running into another neighbor's
Speaker 2: yard and back toward his home. The front window in
Speaker 2: her house else was broken at the top and something
Speaker 2: had been thrown through.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing. It wasn't just the Delmanti can of corn.
Speaker 3: This person also threw a bottle of urine. Oh, which
Speaker 3: it's hard to explain, isn't it.
Speaker 2: Bottles of urine, glass plates, chunks of metal, and raw meat.
Speaker 2: It's a good thing he doesn't he doesn't come here
Speaker 2: ham apparently laying out in the desk.
Speaker 3: Or remember that challenge of throwing cheese at each other's faces.
Speaker 3: I should have done that with the ham. I should
Speaker 3: have come in here with John's ham and just thrown
Speaker 3: it at your face.
Speaker 1: Idea, here's number four. More minute. It's probably on his
Speaker 1: fourth tranquilizer by now number four.
Speaker 3: This isn't the same world he left four years ago. Oh,
Speaker 3: this is awful. So everybody knows. Well, let's not go
Speaker 3: down that road. There was a mom who suffered a
Speaker 3: ridiculously horrific allergic reaction living in an apartment that had
Speaker 3: molded in it. We all have been victim to mold
Speaker 3: in various parts, right, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, we could do it like this if you want.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm sorry, Oh let's do it.
Speaker 1: I apologize mold, Joanna Hayes.
Speaker 3: I could stop right there and it will just be
Speaker 3: at tease.
Speaker 1: No, it's too late.
Speaker 2: They said that this rash that that this mom and
Speaker 2: her daughter suffered was because of the state of their house.
Speaker 3: The mushrooms in the mold. Did you see the rashes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, black spores and the mushrooms.
Speaker 1: Look at that. Look at the mold that's growing in there,
Speaker 1: and they can't figure it out.
Speaker 3: I knew this would further inflame your distaste of mushrooms.
Speaker 3: And it has number three.
Speaker 2: Sorry, we shall be the number count and the number
Speaker 2: of the counting shall be three.
Speaker 1: Were dead within three hours.
Speaker 2: Three security clearance level three.
Speaker 1: All three of three. I got all three of you guys,
Speaker 1: for the rest of your name born live. After about
Speaker 1: three days, they both started to stink.
Speaker 2: Guy set his house on fire Northumberland in UK, A
Speaker 2: guy named James Brown, but different James Brown was more
Speaker 2: captivated captivated by firefighters than by the flames themselves.
Speaker 3: James Brown is dead.
Speaker 2: Well, not this one. This one's only twenty six years old.
Speaker 2: A lot of people dream of becoming firefighters, so he h.
Speaker 2: Let's say, I don't know why he was fascinated with firefighters.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've seen some pretty shapely firefighters in my day.
Speaker 2: Wa maybe that's what he was doing. Back in September,
Speaker 2: there got a call emergency services. Saw sparks from an
Speaker 2: energy meter burning linen in a cabinet. They extinguished a
Speaker 2: little fire, and they even turned off the electricity supply
Speaker 2: just to be safe. About ninety minutes later, he reported
Speaker 2: yet another in fire, another fire that involved betting, but
Speaker 2: this time the electricity had already been turned off. The
Speaker 2: firefighters began to investigate and realized this guy was setting
Speaker 2: things on fire with fireworks.
Speaker 1: Here's number two. What's going on you?
Speaker 3: Two? One? Two?
Speaker 1: There's two sons and no women.
Speaker 2: You see the picture of the raccoon with a meth pipe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like this is much ado about nothing.
Speaker 3: I mean, raccoons get into everything, and why anybody would
Speaker 3: be held accountable for a raccoon who picks up a
Speaker 3: meth pipe is beyond me.
Speaker 2: I feel like raccoons are already pretty high strung.
Speaker 3: Right, They're gonna do what they're gonna do. They do
Speaker 3: not need meth, they don't need method They can't be controlled.
Speaker 2: But there is there is a picture cops took of
Speaker 2: a driver's seat when they stopped a woman and been
Speaker 2: arrested for for drug paraphernalia. This raccoon that they are
Speaker 2: calling chewy because now you can see him with this crackpipe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was holding a meth pipe and she has
Speaker 3: been arrested.
Speaker 2: Well for the drugs, not for having a raccoon with
Speaker 2: a meth pipe, I hope not. Here's number one weird
Speaker 2: number one?
Speaker 1: Number one were number one?
Speaker 3: Ben?
Speaker 1: I decided to look out for number one? Are you
Speaker 1: the number one row?
Speaker 3: Number one? This is a nice animal. It doesn't involve
Speaker 3: meth at all. No.
Speaker 2: There was a big gray draft horse named Arthur a
Speaker 2: few years ago was spooked by a guy yelling and
Speaker 2: opening an umbrella in Central Park and he ran off
Speaker 2: and he crashed into a couple of cars while towing
Speaker 2: Three tourists in the carriage crashed into a couple of
Speaker 2: parked cars. Passengers had minor injuries. The carriage was crumpled
Speaker 2: the cars had significant damage. Arthur the horse became something
Speaker 2: of a poster boy for Animal Act at a poster pony.
Speaker 2: But he has been living out his days at a
Speaker 2: horse sanctuary in Massachusetts. So they didn't put him down, thankfully.
Speaker 2: And I don't know what color of horse he was.
Speaker 3: That's white broo. Okay, all right, that can die with
Speaker 3: excess face right. No, we're gonna kill those things over
Speaker 3: the weekend. You know, that's not how they bury them.
Speaker 3: It's not how this show works.
Speaker 2: Reminder our news and Bruises coming up in Lancaster, a
Speaker 2: bravery brewing to kick off Memorial Day weekend Friday the
Speaker 2: twenty third, doing the whole show out there coming.
Speaker 3: How come you don't say stupid things? I do.
Speaker 2: I just say them quietly, and I sometimes you're not
Speaker 2: paying attention to when I say them.
Speaker 3: Me. I'm always listening. What John Cobalt show coming up next?
Speaker 3: We will see you on Monday.
Speaker 1: Stay drive.
Speaker 3: We didn't even do the thing?
Speaker 1: What thing?
Speaker 3: The thing?
Speaker 1: We will? Okay? Yeah, stay dry, everybody.
Speaker 3: Blessings