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enjoy the episode.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Softcore History. Welcome back to Softcore History.
Speaker 1: I'm your host for the week, danar Chester, joined as
always by Rob Fox.
Speaker 3: Just do over here, Stern my drink with a finger
like a classy.
Speaker 2: Man and first timer on the show. Yeah.
Speaker 1: New employee though of Tetherball Media. Our new kind of clipbitch.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's me. I think clip donkey, clip donkey, Yeah, Tiger,
new guy Slugger. We've been trying a lot of nicknames.
I don't know which to stick in yet. How to
stick with your actual name? Ryan Ma Ryan's cool. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I actually hate nicknames, so I like, I don't like
hate like stop called, but I am like, this is
just some morning show shit it is.
Speaker 2: I'd rather just think out my name.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, one of the hosts of the show we work
on is also named Dan, so I can't be Dan.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's them's the rules. Unfortunate. Yeah, he was here first.
I suppose I.
Speaker 3: Would just rather be If you're gonna give me a
morning show name, just go all into it, you know
what I mean, Just be something like Dick fart.
Speaker 2: B the Molester. But every time he says your name too,
there's a sound effect to it. Yeah, it's just like.
Speaker 3: Zing, Yeah, just a boner and then a fart. Just
go full morning zoo.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna stick with rag guy Ruy for a while.
Speaker 2: I in the last industry I worked in, I had
to go buy my nickname online, which is Mafia, because
there was at least always three or four different Ryans
in the same place at the same time. Yeah, so
someone would say Ryan and just all of us be like,
who's talking to? What's going on?
Speaker 1: At least I have an area that is starting to
become semi notorious.
Speaker 2: Popped up a lot. I worked out for you.
Speaker 1: A lot of people from that area that are notable.
I guess are they. There's plenty of factors. Yeah, plenty
of NBA referees. I have to go to prison.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fuck that dude, Well did he hurt you? Just
the two thousand and two series. Is that the Kings Lakers? Yeah, okay, yeah,
game seven, you know, And then he goes on a
dock and says, yeah, we had to fix that game
because that's unfortunately fixed. You're an A's fan about murdered
my family after that game? Oh man, that was that
was all we had in Sacramento.
Speaker 3: What a what a grim way to die murdered over
a Sacramento Kings game.
Speaker 2: It's almost as bad as dying over like a Utah
Jazz game or something like. It is the lowest of
the lows for sports team.
Speaker 3: So that is I will say though, that's my favorite
line in Book of Mormon.
Speaker 2: That's what I was referencing.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like that guy was like when my
dad used to beat up my mom whenever the Utah
Jazz lost or yeah, I think it's better than that.
But brilliant in the song. Yeah, I just love it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about a lovable dirt bag today in
the form of a husky.
Speaker 2: Like the dog.
Speaker 1: You know, we're talking about dog, dude, dog. We're having
a very controversial episode over dogs.
Speaker 2: Dogs. Fuck dogs. Actually, I will say this, fuck.
Speaker 3: Fuck every husky owner that I see in Texas. Oh, yeah,
that dog should not be living here.
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 3: I don't really see him as much now that I
have my own house, but when I lived in apartments, uh,
I would be. You know, I have to take my
dogs down after work to like the common area, and
there would be like five fucking huskies. It's July exist
it's pain yeah, like six o'clock. And then also I
was corrected on this apparently, but and and the person
who corrected me is probably right, but I don't want
to believe it's right. Another common dog I saw in
my apartment complex, like three or four of them Great Danes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just a dog heater, we get it. Oh,
I love dogs. I have too. Sounds like you hate
a Great Dane in an apartment. It sounds crazy. They
are good apartment dogs. Yeah, they just they chilling that
big years here.
Speaker 3: They're just sedentary. That is actually also the fucked up
thing about owning.
Speaker 2: A Great Dane. It's like it's dead in like seven years,
not a whole lot of time. Commitment.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. A Great Dane is not much of
a commitment. I mean it's a commitment probably food wise,
eating like a pound a day.
Speaker 1: It's only around long enough to somewhat like it. You're
not gonna fall in love with it.
Speaker 3: No, No, you'll never get a chance to fall in
love with that, with that puppy, So own a great
day if you don't want to feel too emotionally connected
to a dog, great Day's.
Speaker 2: The situationship of dogs. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, my pug mix is fifteen and like no signs
of even close.
Speaker 2: To Yeah, that dog will be here after you, Yeah,
one hundred percent. It'll be raising your kids for you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Partially the reason I'm doing this episode is my friend
Shia's little little dog seventeen years old. He's starting to
he might be on his way out. He's had three
strokes in the last two days.
Speaker 2: Two days.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's a compact amount of time for the
call for help.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He's kind of become my dog too. I've watched him
for over a month before at my.
Speaker 3: House I met this dog didn't have to go and
it was.
Speaker 1: Yeah full stand yeah, yeah, yeah, so shot to my
boys stand. It had me all up in my feels
because I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Its sad, and then I mean it's sad too because
a little boy has that dog? Yeah, are you gonna
strangle it? No? Please, please don't just put it down
in the normal way. We're not doing this, Okay.
Speaker 1: I can't go down this bit road, not this bitter
rud I can talk about my kids, your kids.
Speaker 2: But this is a little too per stand for the dog.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Nobody cares about your kids. People care about dogs.
Speaker 2: My God.
Speaker 1: And the reason I'm doing this episode two is because
we add a lot of pushback on your Egypt episode. Yeah,
so we got to win over some things. Egyptians built
the pyramids, and that's my takeaways. The Egyptians built the pyramids,
and someone wrote under it. This is the most historically
inaccurate episode of the show.
Speaker 2: People who I didn't know listen to this podcast texted
me about it, knowing that I work with you guys now,
and they're like, WHOA, that episode was crazy. Did that
actually happen or no, I read that this happened. It was.
It was a lot of discussion.
Speaker 1: So I'm playing this safe. We're doing a smart, family
friendly episode.
Speaker 2: Have takes.
Speaker 3: You gotta have hot takes, and my hot take is
that the ancient Egyptians built the pyramids. I can't wait
to take it out our boy balto here. Oh well,
I've seen the movie once a million.
Speaker 2: Years ago, the ninety five classic. Yeah, it's a real dog.
Speaker 1: Okay, And that's what we're talking about today. So in
January of nineteen twenty five, doctors in Noam, Alaska, we're
gearing up for a deadly diphtheria bacteria outbreak amongst the
gold rush town and the fourteen hundred residents that were
now placed under quarantine. The serum supply to treat this
infection was both running low in the area and a
few years past expiration about six years.
Speaker 3: Right, so the not good doesn't really work, no loses
its effectiveness, might just be poison now.
Speaker 1: Dip theory at this time killed about twenty thousand people
a year, and without the medication, the mortality rates were
estimated to be around seventy five to ninety percent of
the town. Good lord would just totally obviously decimate the population.
Doctor Curtis Welsh hit up Anchorage via Morse Code and
a desperate plea for more medication. One big problem, however,
to travel the land was one hundred and fifty miles
from Anchorage by air. It was still five hundred and
thirty nine miles.
Speaker 2: You know plane in the twenties, Yes.
Speaker 1: Sketchy, It was nineteen twenty five. The two planes available
for the journey traveled the speed of smell, had never
flown in the winter and were open air cockpits. Yeah,
in an Alaska january where it averaged negative twenty three
degrees on the ground just a little bit of frostbite. Yeah,
oh yeah, and there was a blizzard. Yeah, gonna cut it. So,
with options limited to try to save the sickly remote settlement,
including his eight year old daughter, Sigared that lived there,
mister Leonard Sapala, the town owner, and his mining company officials,
decided to transport the twenty pounds of seerum by train
to town and then it would be in the hands
of multiple dogs led teams over the seward to Gnome Trail,
which is now can you guess.
Speaker 2: It, the add rod? Yep, yep. So this is what
created the race. Sweet.
Speaker 3: I think that we should do the adda rod like
people do the Kentucky Derby, just lined with people in
seersucker suits getting fucked up on whatever. The Alaskan equivalent
of mint julip is keep the seersucker though, I don't
care if it's winner and just getting blackout drunk breathable. Yeah,
well that might be a little too breathable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's sort of the problem. You're just talking
about rally races at this point. Yeah, just all these
Finland dudes who get drunk in like two degree weather
and just almost get hit by cars all day. It's crazy.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine how sick of an individual you'd have
to be a bet on the Aditarod?
Speaker 2: I mean, dude, I got twenty grand on this year, so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guarantee multiple bet insides have it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can bet on it somewhere. You can bet
on anything. Maybe there's actually.
Speaker 3: Some maybe there's some action there, Like how much does
Vegas really know about the sure?
Speaker 2: We could probably pay someone offund probably get some inside horses.
Oh yeah, shoot a dog, just put it down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just be like Tuscan raiders up in the fucking mountains.
Speaker 2: Do we have to do the huh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh obviously, Okay, don't even have to shoot the dog,
just shoot the ice underneath.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: A total relay now would be six hundred and seventy
four miles and would consist of twenty different mushers, which
are the people that you know, Yeah, man, the dog.
Speaker 2: Sledge that just stand there and do nothing.
Speaker 1: Dog whippers, Yeah, dog whippers mushers, Yeah, I like dog
whipper Starting on January twenty seventh, with an estimated or
February sixth, so Paula himself was a seasoned dog sled
trainer and breeder who would take part in one of
the most challenging parts of the relay, a risky shortcut
across Norton Sound that would save a day of travel
so across ice. The ice on Norton Sound was in
constant motion due to the current of the seas, and
consisted of tough terrain of hills and sheets of ice
where dogs had difficulty get in.
Speaker 2: A foothold. Doesn't sound like a shortcut. Check it out.
It is.
Speaker 3: I guess like, if everything goes perfect, it's a shortcut.
If something goes bad, everyone dies.
Speaker 2: We drought. Yeah, it save today.
Speaker 3: It just feels like it's already gonna take a week.
Speaker 1: Tons past types of syesh, one wrong step or bad
break with a crack would result in the dog and
driver plungeing through the ice and into an icy grave.
Early on, the dog teams were smashing land records, and
he caught the attention of nation wide news coverage because
there's nothing else going on in the twenties.
Speaker 3: Probably, yeah, is that isn't there's another dogs sledging movie
from the nineties it like White Fang or something, or
is this the movie where isn't Kevin Spacey He's in
one of those movies where he plays like a reporter
and he's like on a train like Balto made it
another one hundred miles.
Speaker 2: I can't believe it. You guys ever see these movies? No, No,
I probably wasn't born when they came out. That's fair
and Dan was zero. Yeah, I do apologize. Oh Balto
is the cartoon? Yeah this is this was a live
action one, okay, yeah, yeah, I think it was white.
We did really have a fascination with dog sled teams
during like the early two thousands. Like I remember learning
about this in elementary school. Dog movies rule, Like we
took time out of school to learn how to read
instead to learn about huskies running one hundred miles in
a row. It's it's a little crazy that that happened
in elementary school. Ah, iron Will Iron Will is the
name of that dog sledding movie. I'm glad we figured
that out. Yes, it's a good pause for that, Thank
you relief.
Speaker 1: Near's no dog teams in race with Death in Fall North.
It was starting to become known as the Great Race
of Mercy.
Speaker 3: Trying to take my shit. Do an old timy voice,
trying to take my ship.
Speaker 2: You have just a total stranglehold on the voice. It's
not even your thing trying to take it. It's my
thing here, all right? You want to do it? Dog
teams racing with death and fall and off there you go. Yeah, yeah,
that's right. You feel better, Yeah, feel a lot better.
I do wish that accent never went away. I wish
we still had broadcasters today. Accent. Yeah, yeah, someone downtown
Chicago's he's fall Slaine.
Speaker 3: That would be you know, they do like baseball broadcasts
now that are special in certain ways, Like the Braves
do one once a year where it's it's all ex players.
It's like Chipper and Tom Glavin and and like Brian mccannon,
Like they need to do one where a guy who
can do a sweitet just get hankers are in there
doing a mid Atlantic accent that the entire fucking time.
Speaker 2: Just feel like we're back in nineteen seventeen.
Speaker 3: Yes, horrible camera angles the whole thing. They gotta wear
the wool you need to. Oh yeah, yeah, well they
do well, they do like fake wool.
Speaker 2: When they do like the no, I want to see
people pass out. Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 1: As a momentum built, additional state dog teams were recruited
by Governor Scott Cordell Bone to aid the Sapala groups.
Speaker 2: Ironic last name Bone because they're gonna die.
Speaker 1: Gotta give a dog a dog, Gotta give a dog
a bone.
Speaker 2: Did yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The last leg of the relay would prove to be
some of the toughest trek. It would be driven by
Norwegian native good friend of Sepala and twenty one year
dogs led veteran Gunner Cassen.
Speaker 3: Gunner's a great name and a very unlikely good boy.
Obalto didn't run the whole thing, bitch, he didn't.
Speaker 2: None of the dogs did.
Speaker 1: Pathetic enter Balto a small, stocky Siberia and husky with
a black coat that Sapala didn't think much of.
Speaker 2: So we got a Rudolph situation. Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: In fact, Rudolph wasn't written yet. This is the source
of Rudolph most likely kind of be if you think
about it, it.
Speaker 2: Really might be. He was often referred to as a
scrub or second rate pup. Oh true underdog situation.
Speaker 1: Balto was the runts of the litter who was neutered
at an early age to prevent his genetics and lineage
from moving on.
Speaker 3: Good Lord, So they neuted him back when they didn't
neuter dogs. They just saw him and they were.
Speaker 2: Like, cut his balls off. They're like, we don't need
another bateau.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't want this one accidentally sliding anything in
while the man dogs are working.
Speaker 2: You're like, all he needed was some more tea. You know,
they just stopped him early. Maybe he could have, you know,
could have been just as big as the other guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Rudolph, by the way, that was cut from the
song that's Santa cut off his nutsack.
Speaker 2: Yeah. They had to castrate him early.
Speaker 3: As soon as they saw that red nose, they were like,
we are keeping this bloodline pure.
Speaker 2: They thought it was gone rhea, So I mean fair
on them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a antrocity, Yeah, burn out with fire.
Speaker 3: Santo was trying to cure red nose Reindeers the way
Iceland tries to cure fucking down down syndrome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just get it out of it. Third reich Ish. Yeah.
Speaker 1: This Siberian rat their name for Balto, not mine, was
relegated to haul and freight in large cargo for short
runs that were not time sensitive. Gunner cast In, for
whatever reason, was enamored with this dog. Against the Paula's wishes,
Gunner not only took Balto on his leg of the relay,
but had him co lead thirteen good boys with another
dog named Fox.
Speaker 3: Okay, so he is Fox probably did the heavy lifting.
Speaker 2: He is frewed off. Yeah.
Speaker 1: He was handed the Seerum package at ten pm on
February first in the outpost of Bluff and Gunner and
Balto and the boys were off traveling through winds so
harsh their sled flipped over multiple times, almost losing the
package in the process, which, by the way.
Speaker 3: Not high off the ground. Right, It's not like an
eighteen wheeler getting tilted over by fucking wind.
Speaker 2: That's how harsh the storm was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like a fucking foot off the ground at.
Speaker 2: One point too.
Speaker 1: The Seerum just like falls off and he has to
like dig through the snow to try to find it.
Speaker 2: Ooh.
Speaker 1: Still, they reached their destination to Port Safety ahead of
schedule thanks to Gunner's belief in Balto paying off. What
did Balto do well? His strength built up from pulling
heavy freight over the years was critical on this trip,
and at one point, Balto stopped the sled from going
over a patch of ice on the top Cock River
that broke underneath, saving the entire team's lives.
Speaker 3: Okay, so this is like you know the story of
Hank Aaron. They were like, how'd your risk get so
fucking strong? Like what's your workout regimen? And he was like,
I grew up having to haul ice blocks with my dad.
And the way they like he was like an ice
delivery man. They would deliver blocks of ice to the
house and they had to do it with these like tongs,
these like huge tongs, and he would just have to,
as a kid, take these tongs, pick up these blocks
of ice that are fucking huge, and like take them
from truck to door all day.
Speaker 2: It's gonna build up the forearms.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so Balto's entire life was a training montage.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Up to this, he's rocky punching meat. This is
the definition of hard work beats talent when talent doesn't
work hard. Yeah, you just gotta put more time in
the gym, get more reps in. All those will be
on the starting line, all those other sexy huskies, you
know what I mean. He was he was four or five.
You know, he wasn't getting a lot of play time.
But he put in the hours in the gym, got
some strong legs, and now we can dunk his real
gym rap.
Speaker 1: Now, technically he wasn't supposed to be the last leg
of this relay. The guy that was was still asleep.
The dog, oh, the guy, the guy and the next
group of dogs.
Speaker 2: He was just still asleep.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so being there still a sleep like they were like, hey, man,
wake up. The whole town's gonna die at disease. And
he's like ten more minutes.
Speaker 2: At a hard night lost.
Speaker 1: So Gunner and balto go through this tire blizzard. So
the next guy, whatever his name is, I didn't look
it up, but I adn't care too because he overslept. Yeah,
so you don't get to be remembered through history.
Speaker 3: We keep him dead in Cocoa land. We don't know
his name.
Speaker 2: No, Yeah, it's all because he overslept.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he didn't think Gunner and Balto and that whole
group was gonna make it through the blizzard.
Speaker 3: You just like got drunk and slept in and he's
just like, eh, it's just it's a bad storm.
Speaker 2: Everyone's gonna die. Fuck it, I'm sleeping. Yeah, that's what happened.
Speaker 1: So, knowing the situation was dire wasting time could cost lives,
Gunner pushed on the remaining twenty five miles of the
trip and reached Nome at five thirty am on February
Tecod getting the frozen but intact serum to doctor Curtis Welsh.
In total, Gunner and Balto traveled fifty four point three
miles that night through intense winds and snowfall. Gunner suffered
frostbite and four of the dogs were partially frozen, but
were eventually able to recover with the seerm in hand.
No more deaths from the outbreak were reported, and in total,
seven people died before they got there, not including natives
who were not accounted for and totally at risk from
the white Man's disease.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fair enough, but they're natives, so you know, they't count.
They don't fully get Yeah, can't. We can't use white
America's taught us this lesson multiple times in history.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't use white math to count if people
that's true.
Speaker 1: Gunner talked to the United Breass about Balto, and he
became an overnight celebrity in National Darling newspaper seemingly gave
credit of the one hundred and fifty dogs and eighteen
other mushers who participated in this life saving expedition exclusively
to Gunner and Balto. Radio coverage reported Balto accomplished the
entire six hundred and seventy four mile run by himself.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, so you're telling me Balto is a fraud.
It's not his fault. I mean, he didn't say anything,
but he also he didn't denied the claims. Yeah, so
he's just as much fault as the people wrote the
absolute stolen valor. Yeah, that's why I'm hearing right now.
He finished the job.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know what, he just sounds like, you know,
like the closer is not the best picture on your team.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but when that footage rolls, he's the one that
throws the glove up.
Speaker 2: That's true. Yeah, last three outs are the toughest to get,
that's true. What's more impressive six outs or six innings
in a row or twelve pitches at one oh six
chickstick the heater.
Speaker 1: The New York Daily News even published photos of Gunner's
arrival and nome, with Balto leading the charge. The photos were,
of course, staged.
Speaker 2: Much later than their arrival in the town.
Speaker 3: Gonna say, I can't imagine there was a photographer there
at five thirty in the morning in a blizzard.
Speaker 2: Was there even a camera there?
Speaker 1: It's a gold rush town, I guess, yeah, you gotta
take photos of people discovering gold.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Film producers immediately signed and Balto to a two motion
picture deal.
Speaker 2: We gotta make you a big sigh. By the way, shit.
Speaker 3: Don't change, right, you do like one thing. They're just
hawked to it their way into fame.
Speaker 2: They didn't create a pump and dumb coin though, No
they didn't. But like it. They actually did something. You
didn't just show up at a place at a certain
time and become famous, so a little bit more respect.
Speaker 1: They began filming in La by April that very same year,
starring Balto and the Guy. I like, man, you should
have tried to be famous when.
Speaker 2: There were no movie stars.
Speaker 3: They're just still like who could be a movie star anyone?
Speaker 1: It was silent films. Yeah, when was the Jazz Singer
around that time? It was like twenty eight, twenty nine
r yeah, yeah, yeah, so yeah, I mean literally just
show up. You don't have your voice act Yeah, So
Jazz Singer was nineteen twenty seven, So that same year.
Speaker 3: A lot of silent film actors lost for October, lost
their careers when it went into speaking film because their
voices were stupid, and a lot of radio actors lost
their jobs to television because they were foul looking like
their voices were great, like it sounded wonderful, like no Superman,
but like you see the guy and you're.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, is that where that saying comes from? A
boys for radio?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, for a face for radio, Yeah yeah yeah.
Upon his arrival to La Balto was given the bone
of the city by the mayor.
Speaker 2: Good boy, a little stereotypical, little racist.
Speaker 1: The movies received positive reviews but are now lost films.
After Gunner sued producer Sol Lesser for unpaid wages. Lesser
in the process just unloaded their contracts off to someone else,
and Gunner and Balto had to do a national speaking
circuit in order to be paid.
Speaker 3: For who for the people who sold their contracts to
They're like, so all that work you did at the
contract before you to do new work to get that money.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Don't you love deal? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like there's not one lawyer that can get in
there and be like and fuck up, fuck that guy up.
Speaker 1: No, he was still under contract, uh for Sapala.
Speaker 2: Oh is that the name of the company too, The
guy's name, the guy's name that owns the company in
that city, owns this town.
Speaker 3: So now he's just a wall from work with their
best dog.
Speaker 2: He's just gonna do what he tells me to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because he dog training dog sled Like that's
still business is going on, just because this this one operation.
Speaker 2: Oh you're usual, mister famous. Can't sled through a blizzard anymore.
Speaker 1: No, he's allowed to though, because he's he's a green
to selling that contract to the national to. A statue
of Balto was erected in New York's Central Park in
December of nineteen twenty five by sculptor Frederick Roff, and
he made an appearance at Madison Square Garden in front
of an audience of twenty thousand fans.
Speaker 2: Twenty thousand people showed up to see Balto He sell
out MSG he them think thank God for YouTube.
Speaker 1: Like ten years prior to this, they were going to
see people walk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but you've seen the dog gamble on that, right,
I mean I would do that. Conk. Wasn't that like
multiple days too? It was like sleeping in an entire week. Yeah, God,
you wouldn't show up for a celebrity dog. No, what
if Airbud was real, I'd go see Airbud.
Speaker 3: I'd see Airbud play. I guess I wouldn't go to
a speaking engagement in which I might get to see
Airbud walk on stage.
Speaker 2: I don't know, gonna ask him the hard question if
he was draining threes, I might think about it, just
to see him in person, you know, just at all. Yeah,
I mean it's kind of like a Kobe situation. You know,
you just want to be like, all right, I had
that home where I saw the legend in person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, I would watch him hit threes too.
Just did you watch air bud Man.
Speaker 2: I mean every single sport he played, he was brilliant,
like he was. He's one of the best athletes. Yeah,
one hundred go conversation easily.
Speaker 3: I think golden receiver is probably the most impressive one,
just catching.
Speaker 1: That out of the air at mouth. Yeah, taking the hits. Yeah,
I think he could go across the middle.
Speaker 2: Also, that one makes the most logical sense though, because
essentially it's just fetch, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And and of course, like no cornerback on Earth
in pee wee football is covering a golden.
Speaker 2: I don't know, man our boy Coop White cornerback might
get it. They Cooper dejen get A.
Speaker 1: They actually put a bounty gate on air Bud Yeah,
take out it. That's kind of what ended his career.
It's a darker, darker movie than you originally think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good, there's two Achilles tears at the same time. Yeah,
it's tough.
Speaker 3: They went head hunting on a dog played on field turf,
just fucked up his three knees, three of his four
knees just dead.
Speaker 1: So at first, so Paula found it quite amusing that
Gunner and balto H were these kind of international celebrities,
but felt his lead dog, Dorn the longest and most
dangerous part of the trip.
Speaker 2: Togo deserved way more credit, so he tried to make
Tog happen. He tried to make Yeah, so he made
a sandwich shop. Right.
Speaker 1: So Paul and Togo went on their own tour in
nineteen twenty six, including another ice expedition at Madison Square Garden.
Speaker 2: Who shows her to that? Come see the other dog? Yeah,
I'm feeling like the MSG promoter just needed to fill Yeah,
I mean, did the Knicks exist yet? For the amount
of respect that we put on MSG, you could just
book it. Just book it. You can just show up. Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, did the I mean, how many games where the
Rangers playing here at this point? Were you e an ANMSG?
Speaker 2: Probably not? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think they existed, but I don't know if they're
playing an MSG.
Speaker 1: He also had resemment for Balto with each passing day,
to the point he just outright sells the dog because
he's technically he doesn't Paulo's property doesn't belong to gunner U.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So he sells it to this man named Sam Houston,
who has his own traveling circus and dime museum in lad.
Speaker 2: Man will become jealous of anything. Fucking your husky gets
more credit than you, so you gotta held off.
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm tired of Gunner getting the credit I should.
And I'm tired of Balto getting Togos.
Speaker 2: Shine because he got he ran some of the race too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the hardest part, the shortcut. And he but again,
it's his company, it's his town. He saved his town.
He's like, yeah, but I want the credit.
Speaker 2: It's the capstone theory. If you put the last stone on,
you made the whole entire monument. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So, with Casson still under Sepala's employment, he was ordered
back to Alaska, where he faced resentment and alienation from
the locals over his recognition and fame.
Speaker 2: Well that'll happen, saves the day. Comes in with the serum, oh,
how you missed your Hollywood big old Hollywood boy came
back to town.
Speaker 3: I think you're a big man saving our lives being
in them motion picture picture show.
Speaker 2: I don't think that exist. I ain't seen one. There's
the way there's a movie theater in this town.
Speaker 3: No, no movies are new. There's probably yeah, they might
not understand the concept of it.
Speaker 2: Entertainment is probably still a brothel at this point in time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like literally, like one dance and then you just
go upstairs, then.
Speaker 2: You go to work. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Gunner also allegedly never spoke to Sepaula again over the
sale of Balto.
Speaker 2: Yeah that seems fair. Yeah, he sold his dog out
of jealousy. I can't I can't blame the man. Yeah,
could you imagine that.
Speaker 3: I know of a divorce that happened where the woman
fought to get the dog and then sold the dog.
Speaker 2: That's evil. Yeah, it's fucked. You take a man's dog
from him, like, that's principled. Stand shit. As soon as
she did that, he should have went right back to court,
right and be like, look, how delicious this is fine?
Speaker 3: They were like yeah, but they're like, Sarah, you punched
her while cheating on her. It's she can can do
whatever she wants.
Speaker 2: Is that what happened?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, no no no, she's just mean and did that.
But that'd be a funny thing to happen, beating your
wife while cheating on her.
Speaker 2: Is that funny?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: I don't know's that's where your heads at today? Rob?
How you doing? Man? I don't know I don't know.
We need to put out like welfire, Chuck.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's funny is that'll be a less controversial line
than Egyptians built the pyramids.
Speaker 2: You're not wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he might be wrong telepathic giants about the pyramids.
But Balto and six of his teammates from the Sierum
run we're now on tour for Sam Houston. So he
didn't just sell Balta. We sold half the sled teams.
Speaker 3: Good, good financial investment. Probably the dogs are gonna get old, right?
What is game shape for a dog on the I
mean that's like, that's like playing in the EPL or something.
Speaker 2: You're washed by thirty? Sure?
Speaker 1: But what are traveling circuses and kind of freak shows
of this time known for?
Speaker 3: This would be like the tail end of Buffalo Bill,
so they would put on like essentially demonstrations.
Speaker 2: No, I'm saying, what are they in the tour? Bously
known for freaks prea chos fires, bad living conditions? Perhaps?
Oh that too?
Speaker 1: Maybe they treat you know, not people the best? Yeah,
topsy dogs. Yeah yeah, because a dog won't even stomp
you to death.
Speaker 2: Are you guys telling me? Carnies in the nineteen twenties.
We're kind of piece of shit people. I'm here to
tell you exactly that. Yeah, never would I guess that
they weren't sending their best.
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Speaker 1: Jack Wooldridge of the Oakland Tribune actually a little Oakland, Yeah, yeah,
what's up? Wrote about the mistreatment. There probably was never
a more dejected, sorrowful looking lot of mutts than these
as they now appear. Balto will never see the snow again.
He's simply an exhibit in a museum.
Speaker 2: You know that sounds like a bleeding heart liberal to me. Yeah,
that dog is better off.
Speaker 1: How about the take of a Cleveland businessman who certainly
is not a liberal?
Speaker 2: You very fair.
Speaker 1: George Kimball visited the Dime Museum while in Los Angeles
after noticing his sign outside advertising Balto the Wonder Dog.
Outraged at seeing Baltow in his teammates living conditions and
poor health. Kimball offered to buy the dogs from Sam Houston,
who was willing to sell, but at a price. Yeah,
about two grand.
Speaker 2: Those sales are at a price two grand, two.
Speaker 1: Grand, which is the equivalent of about thirty six grand. Now, okay,
Jesus more than could personally afford. Yeah, he wasn't liquid
like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no's yeah, he's like, what about Jeff Balto.
Speaker 2: It's a high price for a dog.
Speaker 3: And then you, because you don't care about these dogs,
paint want paint? Just you take lead paint and paint
one of the other dogs black.
Speaker 2: How about that? Give you one hundred dollars. No one
would know? Yeah, no one would, no one, No one
will know.
Speaker 1: Kimball reached out to area businessmen and elected officials and
assembled the Cleveland Balto Committee, which negotiated with Houston. After
Houston finally agreed to sell the dogs for fifteen hundred dollars,
a fundraising campaign was formally announced March first, nineteen twenty seven.
Donations came in all throughout the city, with Cleveland school
children even dropping in loose change and their buckets, offering
up their milk money. Bank employees, offices and nonprofit institutions
all made donations and the goal was smashed.
Speaker 2: You know, I do want to insert this because we've
been talking about dogs the whole entire episode. No one
is starting a community fundraiser for any fucking cats. You know,
they're like people who claim their great pets. I just
don't trust you, because I mean people, literally, this is
we're lining up into the Great Depression period, right, twenty seven,
we're kind of getting into that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people are you know they're not twenty still.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's actually peak liquidity. Oh this is people. Well,
then I take back everything I said. People would say
have a cat as well, and uh, yeah, my bad.
I want a cat. I like cats. I'm just like, incredibly,
I don't trust cat people. Man. It's a thing that
lives in your house that actively only wants you for food.
You don't have to take care of it. Dogs want.
Dogs want that too, at least the common life. They'll
love you a little bit. You know, there's there's something
back there in return. Dogs are way better. Yeah, arguing
for cats over dogs, all right, but I'm saying there's
some place for both. Would you mean? Yeah, barn cats?
Barncats are sick taking out vermin and yeah, yeah, eviscerating mice. Yeah,
because that's what they're great for, is killing shit. Yeah,
they're killing machines essentially. Isn't that that whole thing? Like
the house cats kill most pests a year, like birds
and other small game.
Speaker 3: I don't consider a bird a pest though, Like if
I found a dead sparrow on like ripped open on
my back porch, I would be.
Speaker 2: Like, why yeah, but the cat considered it a pest. Yeah,
so it had to die. The cat was bothered by it.
Speaker 1: Again, the bigger they get, though, I feel like cats
overtake dogs, so like a big cat is better than
a big dog.
Speaker 2: How big? Were talking like a Bengal kiddy talking about
a fight. Want a coke tiger? Yeah yeah, I'm talking
like a predator okay, a jaguar? Yeah okay. Yeah. Man,
if you put a cheetah in a cage in your backyard,
that's pretty dope. But I would still want a Golden
Retriever over that. A cheetah would.
Speaker 3: Actually be chill because they're too timid to do anything. Yeah,
and they're actually kind of like I feel like a
human could take a cheetah.
Speaker 2: But if you had a well trained panther that just
sat like slept on your bed. It just stalked you constantly. Yeah,
in the night, just saw the glowing eyes at you.
You just kind of like, what the That's the thing
with cats, It'll never defend you because it's not your friend.
It's just there until you stop feeding it.
Speaker 1: Well, instead of a junkyard dog, what if you just
had a bunch of benkal.
Speaker 2: Tigers' terrifying You're not You're not wrong, Yeah, definitely, I mean, look,
but the tigers will also eat you. That's the problem. Yeah.
Speaker 3: The only thing you can count for sure on a
pit bull to them all is a toddler. Like someone
could break into the junk yard and the pipule might
be like, you don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's mortal enemy is toddlers. Toddler's. Yeah, yeah, it's
really scared.
Speaker 3: It's a very one sided rivalry, but it is still
a rivalry.
Speaker 2: Pi bulls are putting up numbers on top. It's because
they look eye to eye with each other and they
just don't like that. They doubt and Toddler's just don't
have that dog in them. They don't. They can sniff
it out. They know, so pitbull over toddler every single time.
I mean, yeah, you're not gonna get good odds. I
also have a little uh. I've noticed a rivalry with
pit bulls and skateboards. They don't like them, hate them,
whereas English bulldogs big fans, they'll ride them. Yeah right right,
some of the best beadles of the internet. Man, they
back when.
Speaker 3: Our old dog, our older dog Leo was more was
younger and more robust. He fucking hated skateboards, to the
point where if I was walking him and there was
a skateboarder across the street, I would have to like
put the leash as short as possible because he would run.
I try to run across the street. No, no worry
about any like cars coming at him or anything like that.
Just wanted to get right at that fucking skateboard.
Speaker 2: Sounds like a white man.
Speaker 1: In the nineties, Balto in his sixteen mates Alaska, Slim Fox,
Tilly Billy, Old Moc talk INSI were transported by train
from Los Angeles to Cleveland. The dogs were escorted to
a temporary quarters in the Brookside Zoo. A grand parade
took place at the Public Square on March nineteenth, nineteen
twenty seven, which the city designated Balto Day. I like
that after the Breid, the dogs were all transported to
a more permanent structure at the zoo. Balto and his
teammates made their formal debut at the Brookside Zoo on
March twentieth, nineteen twenty seven, with estimates.
Speaker 2: Of up to fifteen thousand people visiting that day.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's just nothing to do back then, just
nothing to do.
Speaker 2: Gotta find something to fill your time, Like truly, I
there was a a hero dog team.
Speaker 3: There was an article in some might've been in the Atlantic,
but it was just my favorite, one of my favorite
takes I've ever seen, which was just it was like,
because you know, everyone complains about cell phones all the time,
how they're rotting our brains and blah blah blah and
session span stuff like that, but they were like, the
article is basically like, I think you forgot how bored
you used to be so much of the time, because
what happened was you weren't filling that time with other
things like if you're sitting at the airport or anything
like that. They're like, there's so much downtime, Like in
a waiting room or something that was just brutal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're reading the shitty magazines that they had out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just abysmal fucking And I remembered it as a kid.
Speaker 1: Like you're talking about the process of everything was much longer.
You make like a homemade meal, thanks you all day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like the amount of just horrible nothingness that is
self like, look it it's we've we use it too much,
but it has killed a lot of good boredom, a
lot of like useless boredom where you just had to
sit there with your thumb up your ass getting just
having like time wither you away.
Speaker 2: I just waited and waited.
Speaker 1: Agree, that's a fucking soft hand stick right there, if
I've ever heard one. Probably you know, put in hours
and hours and hours into a trade, you're getting better.
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about that.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about all the time that you spend many
many days just doing nothing because you have to do
nothing because you have to wait for some some thing.
Speaker 1: Or you take the fucking world by the balls and
you get out there and you make what you want.
Speaker 3: I mean, make what you want. You go fucking scream
at the doctor to see you.
Speaker 2: Now, you know, I The only thing I disagree with
this take is brain rot better than nothing. No, nothing,
silent is better than skibbity fucking toilet or whatever that
box on TikTok. Nowadays, here's the thing, and I don't disagree.
Speaker 3: It's swung too far. It swung too far, but it
was you for you forget how deafening the silence was.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I remember being bored. I'm sitting, you know,
inside your your room, and your parents grounded you, and
everything's taken away and you're just looking at a wall
for oh my god, like bored. People are bored.
Speaker 1: So my parents always told me, and that I think
rings true. In that time to read a book, you
could have hung out with your boys, you know, maybe
practice some shooting against Marcherie.
Speaker 3: What I'm telling you is, I'm not talking about it
Tuesday afternoon where you're on your phone instead of hanging
out with your friends.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about shit where you just have to eat
the boredom, like literally, when you're just sitting there trying
to fill time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes it's nice to appreciate the poop coming out. Okay, contrarian,
it's not a contrarian take. It's just it was a
nicer time.
Speaker 2: I like to fill that time with at least feeling
somewhat you know, productive.
Speaker 3: Fucking, pooping, fucking again.
Speaker 1: Wait, that's how you reach full zen is you just
live in the moment.
Speaker 2: So you're at the DMV and you just want to
live in the mom You don't have to be at
the DMV. It doesn't exist at this point. Well, I
don't have to because I have to get a Texas license.
I've been waiting for like two and a half months.
I'm saying, it's nineteen twenty five. Man, you're not going
to the DMV. That's fair. That probably doesn't make it.
You probably can't have torn a car.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you can afford. They were quite affordable. It
was still more expensive than anything. Yes, in today's money,
very low.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get that. Six hundred dollars or four hundred dollars.
But it was the Model T. The whole point of
the Model T was that everyone could buy a car.
Speaker 1: So there's another thing you could do then if you
had a car, drink and drive. It's a great time.
Speaker 2: It's always a good time.
Speaker 3: It's fun now, but back then it's really more fun
then really shitty dirt roads, no suspension like zero cars.
Speaker 2: Also, no, there is not zero consequences. My favorite thing
about going like ten miles an hour. My favorite One of.
Speaker 3: My favorite things about history that people forget or don't
know is that car windshields and windows.
Speaker 2: Used to just be real glass. Not Yeah, car accidents
from the.
Speaker 3: Early days, we're fucking gnarly. It's like if you hit something,
knives exploded at you. That's pretty metal though, that is,
it's metal for sure, Like it really gives, like you
have to hit this turn correctly because if you don't,
your family, your family's knife.
Speaker 2: It's like instead of an air bag, it was a
knife bag. Yeah, all right, here's another counterpoint.
Speaker 1: You're way more social. You're forced to. You have to
go out, maybe go to the market, catchup. Some people
check it out.
Speaker 3: You're joining social clubs when I was, and again i'm
talking about specific maybe you're in a gang when in
specific times.
Speaker 2: A boredom is what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: If I'm in a doctor's office, if I'm in the
airport back in those days.
Speaker 2: I still don't want a stranger to fucking bother me.
What are you doing?
Speaker 3: Like if it's like a cute girl or something, sure,
but like a random person just talking to me, leave
me the fuck alone.
Speaker 2: Small talk. Everyone hates small talks a lot about you.
Everyone hates it. I can't imagine anyone hates it more
than you.
Speaker 1: We've learned a lot about Rob today. He hates dogs,
hero dogs like Balto.
Speaker 2: Well, it sounds like he stole a lot of valor
and he hates just general people. I will say, I
remember the terror in my parents the couple of times
that we flew as children and they would have to
like make sure we had enough stuff to do, like
that's coloring books and stuff like that. And yeah, you
still need to do some of that today, but a
lot of it can be replaced with all right, you're
six or seven, here's here's you know something of all
the art you could the other thing, Dude, I had
to charge my game boy bro didn't If I forgot
to plug it in before the flight, I was screwed.
I just didn't get to play Pokemon. That was miserable.
Speaker 1: Maybe you could have figured out how to draw if
you were born in nineteen twenty.
Speaker 2: No, well I probably still wouldn't have done that because
not very creative there.
Speaker 3: But uh, it's like being like, if you have more time,
maybe you could have been in the NBA. It's like, no,
some people just can't be in can't play basketball.
Speaker 2: Fine, more time for the factory. Who cares or the mines?
Speaker 1: Keep grinding, grind mentality never stops. This country's built off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I grinded my phone, always grinded on the phones.
Trust the process, but yeah.
Speaker 1: Some ultimately believe Balta's treatment at the zoo was not
much better. People wrote into the local paper and expressed
regret for contributing to Balto to Cleveland Fund as one
of the most inhuman acts they could.
Speaker 2: Have ever performed.
Speaker 1: Zoos Superintendent John Kramer, however, defended his treatment of the
dogs and Fox said, people don't understand why we do
the certain things that we do.
Speaker 2: You can't please them all.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what they were just in a zoo, like in
a cage. They got to run around like a in
a some sort of habitat. I'm sure it's not as
good as like modern zoo habitats, but it's better than
some dark, dank, fucking Nickel museum in Los Angeles in
the twenties.
Speaker 2: For these huskies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, chain to a sled and a little tiny like
twelve by twelve exhibit.
Speaker 2: It's an upgrade. It's gotta be. And there's a winter
in Cleveland. They can play in the snow.
Speaker 3: You know what I feel bad is when I go
to like the Saint Louis Zoo in July and the
polar bears are outside. They always look like, can you
kill me?
Speaker 2: They're just I yeah, well they will trick you and
they will kill you. Well yes, but they also look
like they crave the sweet release of death as well.
It's not it's not a sweet time for them. Maybe.
Actually they're just breeding those bears.
Speaker 3: Like anywhere that has a summer that has polar bears,
they're getting them used to a melted ice cap so
that they can go back up and live again.
Speaker 2: You got to see it. Yeah, we're genetically engineering polar bears.
I love it to live in a new tropical yep
in the New Age. Yeah, that's coming very shortly, Yes,
any any day now. Six years I'm waiting for it.
Person years. I heard it was gonna be like there's
gonna be a lot of great real estate about one
hundred miles in from the coastline. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: Balto died on March fourteenth, nineteen thirty three, at the
age of fourteen.
Speaker 2: It's a good, good stretch for him, for him man
for Rosky. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Following day, the Cleveland Museum of Natural History the grid
display Balto in taxaderremy form where you can still see
him to this day.
Speaker 2: I was just gonna ask that I'm gonna cleave that
on my list, the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. Them
h that's the only reason I would want to go
to Cleveland.
Speaker 1: And continuing to be the biggest header of this dog.
By May nineteen forty seven, so Paula dismissed them run
is a little more than just an ordinary hard run
and Balto's fame as a product of modern publicity rather
than the outstanding merit.
Speaker 2: Balto was just a good average dock. What a hater
by the way, dude, hell of a tax at jeremy job.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like truly have you been to uh man,
it's not the met I forget what it is, but
that there's one of the big one of the famous
mediums in New York where they have all the like
Taxi jerremy lions and shit like that.
Speaker 2: To Smithsonian, No matter, Yeah, I think, yeah, I think
I was like maybe nine or ten because I want
my grandparents. But yeah, they some of those pieces looked
pretty shitty. Oh like well I remember because even at
like nine or ten, I could tell. I was like
that line looks like half his face is coming off.
It is a bad, bad job. That like it is gross.
I remember going and being like, oh, just go to
a zoo.
Speaker 3: But again, people back then, when the Smithsonian was built,
that wasn't an option. So the only way you're gonna
see a fucking line or whatever it's a taxidermyed lion
mm hmm, fuck it. But like you see it now
and you're just like, this blows that the thing is
just one of the parts of the technology a lot
of people take for granted. Is like you've seen an
elephant in your life one hundred years ago.
Speaker 2: There's people who lived their whole life and just didn't know,
Like they didn't realize there was this animal that was
huge amount of tusks.
Speaker 3: I try to beat this drum all the time on
the show. For everything you think you take for granted,
there are literally a million more things that you don't
even fucking realize.
Speaker 2: The circuit normal, what circus existed. Do you see a
fucking elephant on a giant beach ball? True, but I
guarantee there's someone fucking Mississippi. We never made it to
the circus in their lifetime. Dude.
Speaker 3: It the amount of things you think are normal now
they're not even remotely normal. We whatever future you think
you live that it's supposed to exist with spaceships and
flying cars, you're fucking in it.
Speaker 2: That's why retro future is one of my favorite aesthetics,
Like imagining how like seventy and eighties people imagine the
future would be. Yeah, sometimes seepook, but just like everything
had a thousand switches and dials. Yeah, and it's like now, no,
just have a touch screen because that makes the most sense.
But like if you watch any you know, retro computers
from like the forties, it's an entire it was just.
Speaker 3: Or even like the spaceship from Alien Oh yeah, yeah,
it's all like bright buttons and yeah, everything's very like
tactile and you know, uh physical and that in nature
a star in Star Wars, Yeah, same thing, Yeah, all
physical buttons, like they couldn't analog. That's why I was like, yeah, yeh,
I couldn't even comprehend that they would.
Speaker 2: Be anything digital.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a touchscreen, Yeah, George Lucas could save hmself a
lot of time.
Speaker 2: But just putting like a screen and just some small
text on it. They nailed holograms. That'll probably happen, but
that that was a crazy hit from him, one of
the few.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we kind of brushed through holograms. Remember Tupac and
like Coachella. Ye's like a decade ago.
Speaker 2: That stuff is stupid. But I feel like you'll get
holographic meetings sooner than later. That would be pretty tight.
That wasn't stupid. That was cool. Calling from Japan, she'd
be like, what's up in the room? Yelling at someone
sexually harassing someone, really let them know how you feel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But then you'd have like a zoom situation over
COVID where people get caught cranking it.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Imagine if you accidents hologrammed yourself while you were just pleasuring.
Speaker 2: How many people got caught cranking it because the printing
press was invented or you know, the invention of uh
fucking can't think of the word right now, but uh,
the Ford lines, you know zero Yeah, Well, I mean
they had more time on their hands, they'd go to
the bathroom get some stuff done.
Speaker 3: Jerking off has almost certainly gone up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, present time. Yeah, I don't think so. I think
I think we jerk off. How many cavemen you think
we're sitting in the caves just like trying to fight
for their lives.
Speaker 1: And you just know we're good that we had nothing
but bored them in time? What do you think they're
doing trying to make fire?
Speaker 3: Can't jerk off in a doctor? Oh you can't, I guess, but.
Speaker 2: Well maybe you can't. There's some repercussions to it, but
you can one hundredercent to do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you masturbate anyway, free will exists. You don't realize this.
Speaker 2: You can masturbate anywhere. Fucking cancel culture. Yes, that's what
the left wants.
Speaker 3: So got Harvey Weinstein. I jack off in another woman's
hotel room that I got the key to.
Speaker 2: She consented to it. Okay, you can jack off anywhere.
Speaker 1: People don't tell you this, No, people are afraid to
admit it, just like Cony twenty twelve. Yeah, I mean,
there is a consequence to all of your actions, but
that's like reaction.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you got a jerk it off in San Diego,
you know, just physics. What did you boys learn today?
I learned that jealousy is an evil traiton. Man, It'll
lead to some disgusting things. I learned that this man
was probably one of the bigger haters in human history.
Definitely over a dog of all things too. Yeah, man's
best friend. They fucking he He was salty as fuck.
Speaker 1: I think it was just the take culture of his time, right,
Like he just was on record already that this dog
and he overperformed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he had to double down. He's like off
the point. I respect that sticking to your guns. No,
this dog's trash. He's like to go's the guy. Yeah,
you guys don't even you're not even ready to hear
about toy.
Speaker 3: I do feel bad for him that he got like
no love, even though it was him that like organized
it and ran the toughest part.
Speaker 1: It's his property, it's his town. He had to save
his town. Yeah, including his eight year old daughter.
Speaker 3: I didn't learn this, but I forgot it, and you
said something that like triggered my mind in a way
that was just funny, which is, uh, he was the
town owner.
Speaker 1: That's just how things wear back then. I know, I know,
it's like this gold rush town. Everyone kind of goes
out there. Yeah, it was like his mining company.
Speaker 3: I just forgot. It's just funny like, oh, he's the mayor. No,
he owns it, he owns he just owns it. Yeah,
there'll be no elections here, absolutely not.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Uh judge, jury and executioner. Yeah. Respect. Who is
today's hitler?
Speaker 3: Today's hitler? It's that guy Sephora whatever his name was. Yeah, Sequoia, subpoena,
spolia whatever. That guy's a dick, sold the guy's dog.
What happened to Gunner?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 1: Gunner ultimately lived to be in like his seventies I think,
and he died of cancer.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's a normal, normal life. Yeahah yeah. Was did
he go visit Balto in Cleveland? I like to think
he did. I like I hope he did.
Speaker 1: I did, Yeah, be kind of it would be upsett
And if he never got some closure with Balto.
Speaker 3: Never got to see Balto again, that would be fucked.
Speaker 2: But lived a normal life till he's seventy. He died
of cancer. I'm gonna say went and saw Balto, maybe reunited.
We're gonna hope he saw Balto. Yeah, yeah, I would
hope he would. Who's today's hitler, Ryan, I mean, it's
easy to go with U.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: Obviously the jealousy there, that's what That's what I'm calling
him at this point. But honestly, I think it's the
guy who overslept. You know. I think if he actually
woke up for his alarm and took his original team,
none of this would have happened, and Baltra would have
had a you know, freeing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the news wouldn't have to lie about this dog. Yeah,
that's my hitler today, the media. You don't hate him
enough telling untruths. Yeah about the sport.
Speaker 2: The port.
Speaker 1: Dog didn't ask for this, fake news forced him into
this position.
Speaker 2: It's tough, was spring board. Balto's just a good name.
It's better than Togo. It's better than Togo. Yeah, binding,
I mean Fox, Fox.
Speaker 3: Doesn't ring like that for the front of the headline
and Alto it's strong.
Speaker 2: It's gotta be a couple a couple of syllables. Yeah,
it's strong Fox, he's along for the ride. At least.
Speaker 3: It's also confusing Fox the dog, you know what I mean,
doesn't make sense. Yeah, Balto I mean that.
Speaker 2: It was the name. It was the name brandings.
Speaker 3: Everything in the days has been for since the printing
press wasn't matter tail as old at time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, m well, Ryan, thanks for joining. Yeah, I appreciate
you guys. Where can find people find you? It was
a fun time. I'm on Instagram, that's where mostly where
I'm at. Mafia Underscore Production or Mafia Underscore MafA. Mafia
Productions is on YouTube, that's where my podcast is. I
don't really recommend you guys go check it out because well,
we just talk about paintball a lot, and I know
probably most of your fans aren't into that, but uh well,
really underselling the paintball community. Yeah, you know, it's just
a lot of virgins. You know, we all have a
fun time together. Scott Lopez, he's a he's a big
part of it as well. He kind of leads the leads,
the causes, the wizard of the virgin community. It's really yeah,
they're all virgins because everyone that plays paintball's fourteen. Well,
there are miners on teams that we know, so I'm
not gonna make that joke. But the rest of us
who are of legal age, Yeah, we just don't you know.
We spend a lot of money on paintballs that explode
on impacts, so we don't really go on dates. It's
the whole thing. Yeah, have you been hit with iced paintballs?
One of the biggest myths that you've ever heard in
your life. Frozen paintballs actually hurt less because they're more
brittle and they break easier on contact. Really, what actually
hurts is when paintballs sit in the sun for a
long time because they swell up. It's a gelatin that
absorbs humidity, so it becomes a more bouncy thing. And
due to physics, if something bounces on you, it's gonna
leave more of that force hitting you instead of where
if it breaks, it's gonna some of that's gonna go
into it. So yeah, go, if anyone ever tells you
they got shot with frozen paintballs, they're a liar and
uh nah or I love Yeah, there you go. That's
what I learned today. Yeah. Also, I mean, you know,
doing media for it. I've been shot by probably thousands
of paintballs over the last couple of years. They really
don't hurt that, but the worrespo you been hit Honestly,
last weekend I have got hit right in the Adam's apple.
That was not fun. But last weekend I got shot
right in the back of my knee on the nerve
and the from my knee down. I went numb for
about twenty seconds and then it came back. We were good.
But that's the thing. It only hurts for a couple
of minutes and then you just have a bruce. And
what about being shot in the dick. So that's why
I wear a cup of fiber rag down there, because
the cup gets too annoying all day when you're in
weird positions trying to move around. It's like wearing a
catcher's cup. You know, it's not that great, but uh yeah,
you definitely want something down there. I've taken a couple
without any protection and uh yeah, it's nice's not don't
recommend it's not fun. Okay, what's you got? Patreon, Patreon
dot com.
Speaker 1: Slash Software History two additional episodes every week Wednesday and Friday.
Yeah Sweet Sweet appreciated by rb Balto. Yeah for rough
Fox right off it, I'm damn Jesser and you just
got saw server