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<v Speaker 1>Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.

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<v Speaker 2>Troops that have been to war and now they're back and.

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<v Speaker 3>Think and be grateful for their service, sacrifice, love for

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<v Speaker 3>their country, just unselfishness, all that they do for us.

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<v Speaker 3>There are some people in this country who take extraordinary

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<v Speaker 3>steps to provide for the freedom and security.

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<v Speaker 2>We forget that those people exist.

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<v Speaker 1>We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,

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<v Speaker 1>and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.

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<v Speaker 2>Dogs, and so much more.

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<v Speaker 1>We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,

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<v Speaker 1>sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These

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<v Speaker 1>veterans answered the call. Now we answer theirs today are

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<v Speaker 1>the best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,

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<v Speaker 1>we honor them, and we serve them. David Maulsby is

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<v Speaker 1>your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans,

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<v Speaker 1>as together we are building the road to.

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<v Speaker 2>Hope, and we welcome you in on this Sunday. Those

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<v Speaker 2>of you listening through the KPRC the nine to five

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<v Speaker 2>OO on the AM dial, thank you for joining us.

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<v Speaker 2>Those of you who listen through the magic of podcasts.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you so very much. Wherever you listen to podcasts,

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<v Speaker 2>just look for Road to Hope Radio. There we are.

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<v Speaker 2>It's absolutely zero costs. Just like everything we do with

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<v Speaker 2>the PTSD Foundation of America, we appreciate you listening, subscribing, sharing.

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<v Speaker 2>You never know with whom you might share it that

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<v Speaker 2>might need the services that we provide, or understand that

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<v Speaker 2>they need to provide to find some sort of help

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<v Speaker 2>for whatever there might be going through. Everyone you lock

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<v Speaker 2>eyes with that day could use a little bit of hope.

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<v Speaker 2>So just wherever you listen to podcasts, just look for

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<v Speaker 2>Road to Hope Radio. Hit that subscribe button automatically downloads,

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<v Speaker 2>and we truly appreciate it when you not only listen

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<v Speaker 2>but also share. Just real quickly. I hate really kind

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<v Speaker 2>of bringing these sorts of things up because for some

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<v Speaker 2>these awareness things kind of just get annoying. Every single

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<v Speaker 2>day it's about twenty different things National Mosquito Day, National

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<v Speaker 2>Banana and Peanut Butter Eating Day, or whatever it happens

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<v Speaker 2>to be. And every month's about twelve different awareness months. June.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know who makes these decisions, some unknown entity,

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<v Speaker 2>I guess sitting in a dark closet somewhere decides what

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<v Speaker 2>is going to be on what month. June, amongst other things,

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<v Speaker 2>happens to be PTSD Awareness month, And just a quick

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<v Speaker 2>about that and we'll get into our regular show. Material've

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<v Speaker 2>got a couple of guys in here from the PTSD

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<v Speaker 2>Foundation of American and Camp Hope. We're gonna be chatting

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<v Speaker 2>with them here a little bit about their stories. But

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<v Speaker 2>when it comes to PTSD awareness and PTSD through this

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<v Speaker 2>month of June, the last couple of shows here in June,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll talk a little bit about what that means in

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<v Speaker 2>a generic way, but I guess, and then get into

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<v Speaker 2>the stories of our vets. But for today, I'll just

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<v Speaker 2>say this post traumatic stress disorder is a very very

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<v Speaker 2>real thing. I know some people will try to deny it.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people try to say all kinds of things about

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<v Speaker 2>what PTSD is or is not, but it is a

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<v Speaker 2>very real issue, and we, particularly PTSD Foundation of American

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<v Speaker 2>Camp Hope deal particularly with related post traumatic stress Now

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<v Speaker 2>at Camp Hope. That means every veteran's come into our

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<v Speaker 2>program going through our program have combat related trauma in

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<v Speaker 2>their life. In our support groups, we also add first responders,

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<v Speaker 2>law enforcement that type of thing. But anybody, regardless of

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<v Speaker 2>who you are, your background, your experiences, anybody can be

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<v Speaker 2>affected by post traumatic stress. Is not strictly about the

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<v Speaker 2>veteran population. That's just the part we deal with currently

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<v Speaker 2>as an organization, But anyone can be affected by it.

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<v Speaker 2>And here's what you need to know about it and

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<v Speaker 2>understand about it. Much like a cancer that is undiagnosed

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<v Speaker 2>and untreated, PTSD left undiagnosed and untreated can be very costly,

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<v Speaker 2>including being a killer, just like a cancer would be.

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<v Speaker 2>It is a very serious issue that we deal with,

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<v Speaker 2>and I get it. Nobody wants a mental health diagnosis.

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<v Speaker 2>I understand that nobody wants that in a way says,

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<v Speaker 2>oh boy, let me go to the doctor and see

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<v Speaker 2>what they say. That's not how it rolls. We always

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<v Speaker 2>kind of think it's everybody else that's messed up, the

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<v Speaker 2>whole world's gone crazy, which I don't know if you

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<v Speaker 2>turn the TV on you might have reason to believe that.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's like everybody else's fault. It's not us. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't need help. Everybody else does. If you keep telling

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<v Speaker 2>yourself that it's not going to end well, and it's

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<v Speaker 2>not just about you, It's also about those who are

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<v Speaker 2>around you, the people that you care about, and the

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<v Speaker 2>people that care about you. Many times they try and

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<v Speaker 2>tell you what you need to do or how you

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<v Speaker 2>need to behave when they're not even quite sure what

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<v Speaker 2>they're talking about or what you're coping with or dealing with.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe their intentions are well, maybe their intensions aren't so well.

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<v Speaker 2>But if you care about anyone, and anyone cares about you,

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<v Speaker 2>and trust me, there are people that care about you.

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<v Speaker 2>May not think so, it may not feel like it, it

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<v Speaker 2>may not look like it at the moment, particularly when

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<v Speaker 2>you're in a time in crisis, but there are people

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<v Speaker 2>out there that do care about you. Maybe they haven't

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<v Speaker 2>even met you, but they would be glad to help.

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<v Speaker 2>So I would just say, if you're struggling, the darkness,

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<v Speaker 2>the hopelessness, hopelesses, being without hope is a very dark place,

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<v Speaker 2>a very dark place. We're losing up to forty four

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<v Speaker 2>veterans every single day to their own hands. That's suicide,

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<v Speaker 2>it's addiction, forty four a day. That's a very dark

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<v Speaker 2>place to get the place without hope. Seek help. There

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<v Speaker 2>is help out there, and I know when you're in crisis,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm always a If you see somebody that's really struggling,

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<v Speaker 2>reach out to them. Don't wait for the one who's

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<v Speaker 2>struggling to reach out, because that's the last thing they

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<v Speaker 2>want to do. If you see someone struggling, don't tell

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<v Speaker 2>them what's wrong, Just tell them, Hey, I'm here to listen.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm here to find help you any way I possibly can.

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<v Speaker 2>There are people who can will help you, and there

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<v Speaker 2>are organizations that can and are capable of and willing

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<v Speaker 2>to help. So reach out. If no place else, reach

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<v Speaker 2>out to me, PTSDUSA dot org, websites, Facebook, PTSD Foundation

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<v Speaker 2>of America, you can do it through the radio show

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<v Speaker 2>Facebook page Road to Hope Radio. Just message me. If

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<v Speaker 2>we can't help you. As an organization, we will make

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<v Speaker 2>sure you are connected to someone who can. And the

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<v Speaker 2>crisis line eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight

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<v Speaker 2>seventy three combat vet will answer the phone eight seven

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<v Speaker 2>seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. We'll be

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<v Speaker 2>right back with Road to Hope Radio.

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<v Speaker 4>And we welcome you back.

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<v Speaker 2>Glad to have you along. Got a couple combat vets

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<v Speaker 2>in the room with us right now. Lynn Burger, have

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<v Speaker 2>you reintroduce yourself to the world. Lindburg came through a

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<v Speaker 2>program but is on staff currently mentor. Is that your title, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>yellow Face mentor yellow Face Okay, all right, reintroduce yourself

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<v Speaker 2>to the world.

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<v Speaker 3>Lindbergh Freeman at the third mentor at Camp Hope for

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<v Speaker 3>the yellow Face portion of the program. Originally out of

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<v Speaker 3>the United States Army, deployed one time Operation New Dawn

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<v Speaker 3>Aviation Air Cave.

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<v Speaker 2>And glad to have you back and appreciate what you

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<v Speaker 2>do as a mentor Camp Hope always. We also have

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<v Speaker 2>a veteran who's in our program, currently United States sub

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<v Speaker 2>Marine Corvette. You want to introduce yourself to the world.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm Patrick Reader. Served in the United States Marine

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<v Speaker 4>Corps from two thousand and eight to twenty twelve and

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<v Speaker 4>some time the Reserves after that. Ployed Afghanistan in two

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<v Speaker 4>thousand and nine and again in twenty eleven with first

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<v Speaker 4>Battalian fifth Marine Regiment, and happy to be at Camp Hope.

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<v Speaker 4>Currently in a red phase and should be moving on

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<v Speaker 4>here very shortly.

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<v Speaker 2>The meat of the program Red phase. Where are you from?

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<v Speaker 4>Originally I'm from Houston, Okay, so you're you're home not

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<v Speaker 4>far down the road, which what part. Oh just why

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<v Speaker 4>West tim Or area? Okay, yeah, right down the street.

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<v Speaker 2>What high school?

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<v Speaker 4>I went to the Woodlands High School.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so you moved north at some point yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>And then after the after high school, went to college

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<v Speaker 4>for a couple of years and got bored with that

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<v Speaker 4>straight sea student And I saw my friends coming back

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<v Speaker 4>from Felujah, and Ramadi thought, man, I really want to

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<v Speaker 4>catch this war while there's still one going, and joined

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<v Speaker 4>the Marine Corps and lied to all my fraternity brothers,

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<v Speaker 4>my family told them I was going to OCS training

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<v Speaker 4>and send them a letter saying, hey, I actually enlisted.

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<v Speaker 4>I'll see all in four years.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm sure that went over real well with mom.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, they're thrilled. Yeah so what.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so you mentioned seeing your buddies come back from

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<v Speaker 2>places like Fallujah. Did they talk about it at all?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>What was it about that conversation that made you think

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<v Speaker 2>I want to go to Felujah?

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<v Speaker 4>And honestly, I wanted to go fight. I wanted to

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<v Speaker 4>uh uh, I mean not really a better word for it,

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<v Speaker 4>but I wanted to go. I wanted to go kill.

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<v Speaker 4>I wanted to go to war. I wanted to experience

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<v Speaker 4>it and not read about it. And uh, I just

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<v Speaker 4>envied them so much. I'd see all their pictures and

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<v Speaker 4>all the carnage, and I craved it. Figure, there's something

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<v Speaker 4>human in us that uh that craves that, it's some

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<v Speaker 4>animal instinct in there and uh and I had to

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<v Speaker 4>do it. I had to see it for myself. And

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<v Speaker 4>a bit off, a little more than I could chew.

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<v Speaker 4>But uh no regrets there.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, let's back up for your second. So you went

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<v Speaker 2>to Woodlands High School? You star in the play or

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<v Speaker 2>star athlete or what was going on in high school?

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<v Speaker 1>Ah?

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<v Speaker 2>Man? Were you in high school? I?

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<v Speaker 4>Uh, well, I played tennis. I played football, stopped football,

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<v Speaker 4>focused more on tennis, got kicked off the tennis team

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<v Speaker 4>for smoking pot, and I was did a lot of

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<v Speaker 4>skateboarding and a lot of partying and had a great

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<v Speaker 4>time in high school. High school was fun, a lot

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<v Speaker 4>of friends. Yeah, yeah, it's uh, I added too many friends.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I was a very lucky guy. Gotch college.

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<v Speaker 4>College was I went to UTSA for a couple of

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<v Speaker 4>years and then all my friends left there and went

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<v Speaker 4>to places like ut and my application got rejected. They

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<v Speaker 4>were not taking straight sea students and so then, uh,

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<v Speaker 4>from there, I went to the Marine Corps.

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<v Speaker 2>So why the Corps as opposed to any other branch.

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<v Speaker 4>Man, I thought the Marines were We're the hardest ones,

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<v Speaker 4>you know. I thought that was that was the place

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<v Speaker 4>I wanted to go if I wanted to really get

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<v Speaker 4>in the fight. And you know, I tried to join

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<v Speaker 4>the Marine Corps for Oh, it took me about two

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<v Speaker 4>years to finally get in, and if I got denied,

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<v Speaker 4>they kept telling me to get out of here. And

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<v Speaker 4>then last time I was, I was getting ready to

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<v Speaker 4>go to MEPs, getting ready to ship out, and uh

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<v Speaker 4>then got arrested for public intoxication and on a family vacation. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>and so yeah, they told me to get out again.

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<v Speaker 4>I went over to the Army recruiter and the Army

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<v Speaker 4>even told me to come back when you get your

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<v Speaker 4>life together. Then, man, I didn't stop trying. So the

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<v Speaker 4>whole time I was in college, I was trying to

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<v Speaker 4>enlist and finally got my chance right before Obama did

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<v Speaker 4>the surge in Afghanistan. And yeah, it was a good

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<v Speaker 4>time for me to have gone in.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So you go in not only assuming but wanting

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<v Speaker 2>to go to war.

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<v Speaker 4>Certainly, Yeah, I was worried that I had missed Iraq,

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<v Speaker 4>you know, And about two thousand and eight January two

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<v Speaker 4>thousand and eight, when I went to boot camp, I

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<v Speaker 4>was thinking, crap, man, I missed the war. If I

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<v Speaker 4>go over there, it's just going to be standing post

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<v Speaker 4>and not much going on. And then we started hearing

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<v Speaker 4>through the lance corporal underground that we were going to

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<v Speaker 4>be going to Afghanistan. And a couple months later Obama

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<v Speaker 4>announced that I think it was a West Point graduation,

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<v Speaker 4>that he was going to do the surge. And I

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<v Speaker 4>got to be a part of it. So surge to

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<v Speaker 4>Hellman Province.

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<v Speaker 2>And how old were you at that time?

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<v Speaker 4>I was twenty one, twenty one, I was pretty old.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, for all I was gonna say, when you actually

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<v Speaker 2>got it got to boot camp, you were probably on

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<v Speaker 2>the more experienced side of like yeah, yeah, I was

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<v Speaker 2>one of the few that could drink yeah illegally. Yeah gotcha?

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<v Speaker 4>All right?

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<v Speaker 2>So you join up in eight you're part of the

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<v Speaker 2>surge in Afghanistan. Uh, let's see. Yeah, what were you

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<v Speaker 2>doing while you were there?

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<v Speaker 4>I was in the infantry and I was part of

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<v Speaker 4>what they call Capitlatoon And so we did the initial

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<v Speaker 4>push into Helman and it's called Operation Caanjar, and we

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<v Speaker 4>did an airlift of I think it was about a

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<v Speaker 4>five thousand ring force dropped into Helme in province overnight

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<v Speaker 4>and uh just took over whole districts at a time.

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<v Speaker 4>And uh so we dropped in and uh and we

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<v Speaker 4>lived in the dirt for the next about five months.

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<v Speaker 4>We didn't have a place to even call home. And

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<v Speaker 4>it was awesome. You were like cowboys out there going

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<v Speaker 4>native and uh we slept on the dirt for five months.

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<v Speaker 4>I finally got a cot about about five months into it.

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<v Speaker 4>I finally got a cot and then uh, I pissed

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<v Speaker 4>off my sergeant and uh he jumped down off of

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<v Speaker 4>a humvee onto my cart, my cot and broke it

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<v Speaker 4>in half back to the ground with me. And so yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>we were doing mounted patrols, uh in humpies and heavy

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<v Speaker 4>weapons and uh and then dismount patrols as well. And

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<v Speaker 4>usually we would get intel on on Taliban fighters or

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<v Speaker 4>say an ID factory, and we'd roll in in trucks

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<v Speaker 4>and then cording off the place with the heavy weapons

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<v Speaker 4>and then punch out dismounts to go in and either

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<v Speaker 4>flank the enemy or do a hard hit on the house.

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<v Speaker 2>And got you. We're gonna have to run to a

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<v Speaker 2>news break here for those of you who are on

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<v Speaker 2>KPRC nine to five zero, quick news break and we'll

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<v Speaker 2>be back in a minute. But just one more time.

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<v Speaker 2>The phone number if you put it in your phone

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<v Speaker 2>eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three.

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<v Speaker 2>Even if you don't ever need it, you might come

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<v Speaker 2>across someone who does. Eight seven seven seven one seven

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<v Speaker 2>seventy eight seventy three.

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<v Speaker 4>And welcome back Road to Hope Radio.

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<v Speaker 2>Glad to have you along, Minder. Wherever you listen to podcasts,

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<v Speaker 2>just look for Road to Hope Radio. Appreciate you hitting

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<v Speaker 2>that subscribe biting button and on also sharing the podcast

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00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:25.240
<v Speaker 2>with your network. We appreciate you doing it. Spread the hope.

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<v Speaker 2>Everybody could use some hope. Big thank you to our

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<v Speaker 2>sponsors allow us this time each and every week to

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<v Speaker 2>spend with you a Corey Diamond in Design. It's Aco

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<v Speaker 2>ri I, a Corey Diamond in Design. Billy and Connie

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<v Speaker 2>and Design. Do business with folks who share your values

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<v Speaker 2>and support our veterans oopsteam dot com because well all

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<v Speaker 2>one great people again, shared values, supporting our vets. We

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<v Speaker 2>keep them on speed dial around our place. Just fantastic people.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't want anybody, just any oldbody coming in to

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<v Speaker 2>to buy your piece of Texas, you may not be

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<v Speaker 2>ready to build yet. That's fine, but building the dream

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<v Speaker 2>homes one thing. But having the right location is critical.

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<v Speaker 2>That's our friends at Republic Grand Ranch. They've been friends

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<v Speaker 2>for many years. They start in the area with Texas

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<v Speaker 2>Grand Ranch and now Republic Grand Ranch. Beautiful, beautiful location,

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<v Speaker 2>great communities. Again, people with shared values, people who support

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<v Speaker 2>In fact, there's a lot of law enforcement officers live

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<v Speaker 2>out there, a lot of veterans live out there. Republic

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<v Speaker 2>Grand Ranch dot Com and again eight seven seven seven

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<v Speaker 2>one seven seventy eight seventy three is our combat Trauma

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<v Speaker 2>Crisis number. Combat Vet will answer the phone and if

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00:19:59.640 --> 00:20:02.480
<v Speaker 2>you ever tell someone that who's struggling, they will understand

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00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:05.400
<v Speaker 2>exactly what that means, and it means the world to

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00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:07.599
<v Speaker 2>a veteran. A combat vet's going to answer the phone

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<v Speaker 2>eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, so talk a little bit about what you're

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<v Speaker 2>doing in the core in Afghanistan to surge. How long

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<v Speaker 2>were you there?

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<v Speaker 4>Both the planets are about eight months?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so twice, yeah, twice okay, all right, two deployments

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<v Speaker 2>eight months each and you get out the core win

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<v Speaker 2>twelve you said.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, twenty twelve.

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<v Speaker 2>It reserves.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm gonna see. Can you do your best Shirley

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<v Speaker 4>Q liquor uh oopsteam compression?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I am not the I can't do that. That

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<v Speaker 2>takes a very special talent. That's one of the many

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<v Speaker 2>things I cannot do. You're welcome to try it.

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<v Speaker 4>Can you uh oopsteam? Doc? Can't do it? Mans, I

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<v Speaker 4>know that's how it goes ps.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, Like how do you spell oo oo? Yeah, it's yes.

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<v Speaker 2>Shirley Cues is quite the quite the talent, quite quite

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<v Speaker 2>the individual. Yeah, I cannot many things I can do.

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<v Speaker 2>That's pretty near the top of the list. Don't even

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<v Speaker 2>try it. Yeah, you know you can't. Don't don't don't

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<v Speaker 2>go out there. Don't don't try that, all right, second deployment,

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<v Speaker 2>you come home and you join the reserves, so yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you go straight into reserves.

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<v Speaker 4>So I got out in twenty twelve. Yeah, a couple. Uh,

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<v Speaker 4>it's about a month or so after I got back

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<v Speaker 4>for my second tour. Then my mom passed away in

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<v Speaker 4>the hospital, and I went to school at YOU of

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<v Speaker 4>H and H. Then I joined the reserves there because

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<v Speaker 4>I thought they gave me a warrant for sergeant. As

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<v Speaker 4>soon as I got out, I thought, hell, I might

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<v Speaker 4>as well go go play sergeant for a little bit

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<v Speaker 4>and shoot machine guns on the weekend. And that didn't

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<v Speaker 4>last too long until my I R R contract was up,

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<v Speaker 4>and but yeah, that was that was pretty fun, getting

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<v Speaker 4>to do a little reserve time. But yeah, I went

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<v Speaker 4>back to school at U of eight. Geology rocks a

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<v Speaker 4>lot of fun sounds thrilling.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you get to throw any of them? Or are

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<v Speaker 2>you just a lot.

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<v Speaker 4>Of rocks through? My fair share of rocks there a uh. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>I got to use a lot of a lot of

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<v Speaker 4>the skills that I learned in the Marine Corps. You know,

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<v Speaker 4>we used the same compass, the M two compass in

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<v Speaker 4>the Marine Corps for firing mortars as we do in geology,

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<v Speaker 4>and they call it the Brunton compass. I was like, hell,

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<v Speaker 4>I know this thing. I can read a map. I

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<v Speaker 4>got this covered man, And yeah, I enjoyed that a lot.

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<v Speaker 4>That was great, but I was dealing with some things

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't quite understand at the time, and a lot

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<v Speaker 4>of things I hadn't been able to process yet, and

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<v Speaker 4>especially with the passing of my mom, that was pretty

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<v Speaker 4>traumatic for me, and everything else kind of took a

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<v Speaker 4>back seat at that point. I was I was very

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<v Speaker 4>concerned about my mom's health while I was in Afghanistan.

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<v Speaker 4>I just had that feeling, and so my prayers before

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<v Speaker 4>i'd go out on patrol were that I'd just make

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<v Speaker 4>it home to give her and in time to give

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<v Speaker 4>her grandchildren. And as soon as I got home, I

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<v Speaker 4>got the call that she was sick and she was

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<v Speaker 4>in the hospital, and so everything that happened there and

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<v Speaker 4>employment just became a blur. It was like a dream.

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<v Speaker 4>And then I went straight on to school and tried

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<v Speaker 4>to keep myself occupied and that worked for a bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, not an unusual story. Circumstance is always

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit different, but the basis of it. Came home,

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<v Speaker 2>went ninety miles an hour, dealing with other stuff, So

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<v Speaker 2>you don't process what you just stepped out of. One

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<v Speaker 2>of the first Korean War vets I spoke with, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it'd been fifty plus years since he had left Korea,

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<v Speaker 2>and his deal was, he said, I went, I got married,

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<v Speaker 2>went to work, supported my family. But then at the time,

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<v Speaker 2>I said, I think he retired like seven or eight

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<v Speaker 2>years prior to this conversation, and he said, I wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>in retirement for a month, and I knew. I knew

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<v Speaker 2>something was going on. And he went to the VA

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<v Speaker 2>and was diagnosed with PTSD fifty something years after the

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<v Speaker 2>trauma and just never dealing with it.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So you mentioned as you were leading into you

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<v Speaker 2>mentioned you were noticing some things talking about some of

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00:25:26.359 --> 00:25:30.640
<v Speaker 2>the symptoms of PTSDA. What were you experiencing that you

388
00:25:30.839 --> 00:25:37.160
<v Speaker 2>noticed panic attacks? I couldn't explain it at the time.

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00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:46.519
<v Speaker 4>Then I was just overtaken by UH and it wasn't

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00:25:46.559 --> 00:25:51.880
<v Speaker 4>any any type of external stimuli that triggered it, but

391
00:25:52.119 --> 00:25:56.960
<v Speaker 4>it just felt overwhelmed and then the heart palpitations, left

392
00:25:57.079 --> 00:26:00.839
<v Speaker 4>arm going numb, I was convinced I was having a

393
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:11.559
<v Speaker 4>heart attack and kept happening that and kind of one

394
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<v Speaker 4>that people don't talk about, but ed that was one,

395
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<v Speaker 4>and that blew my mind. Man, I was twenty six.

396
00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:22.480
<v Speaker 4>I was thinking, come on, in a marine, that's not yeah,

397
00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:25.200
<v Speaker 4>this isn't this isn't right. That's going on here and

398
00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:33.279
<v Speaker 4>that and just this is constant anxiety and I would

399
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:38.480
<v Speaker 4>say depression. But even though I was very social, I

400
00:26:38.640 --> 00:26:42.279
<v Speaker 4>felt isolated. There wasn't anyone that I could talk to

401
00:26:42.359 --> 00:26:45.759
<v Speaker 4>that I would understand. And if I did talk about

402
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:51.799
<v Speaker 4>my combat experience, it was something nobody could really identify

403
00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:56.960
<v Speaker 4>with and so and I didn't think they cared, and

404
00:26:57.680 --> 00:27:02.480
<v Speaker 4>most of them probably didn't. I cared when I would

405
00:27:02.519 --> 00:27:04.640
<v Speaker 4>talk to my friends when they got back, you know,

406
00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:07.160
<v Speaker 4>that was super important to me. I wanted to pick

407
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:10.119
<v Speaker 4>their brains for everything, kind of like when I talked

408
00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:14.880
<v Speaker 4>to Vietnam vets. But when I try to share with

409
00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:20.200
<v Speaker 4>other people, it was, you know, it was outside their

410
00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:24.799
<v Speaker 4>ProView and they they couldn't identify with it and be

411
00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:29.000
<v Speaker 4>able to understand what was going on. And so in

412
00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:31.200
<v Speaker 4>that aspect, I was very isolated.

413
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<v Speaker 2>So how are you functioning?

414
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<v Speaker 4>I was getting by Well. I first went to the doctor,

415
00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:46.640
<v Speaker 4>and uh, I was. I knew that I had anxiety.

416
00:27:47.079 --> 00:27:51.759
<v Speaker 4>I knew that I was suffering from PTSD, and especially

417
00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:54.720
<v Speaker 4>with the death of my mom, that was that was

418
00:27:54.759 --> 00:27:58.839
<v Speaker 4>probably more traumatic compound to trauma. Yeah, you know, and

419
00:27:58.880 --> 00:28:00.960
<v Speaker 4>that was the only thing I could focus on, and

420
00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:04.079
<v Speaker 4>so everything from combat just taking a back seat. And

421
00:28:04.200 --> 00:28:11.519
<v Speaker 4>the doctor recommended Paxel for me. No private doctor, yeah

422
00:28:11.799 --> 00:28:15.119
<v Speaker 4>I was. I had try care at the time, and

423
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:22.279
<v Speaker 4>my dad and my sister both were being treated for anxiety,

424
00:28:22.759 --> 00:28:26.599
<v Speaker 4>and I couldn't get the same treatment that I needed,

425
00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:30.960
<v Speaker 4>and so I started seeking it for myself. I started seeking.

426
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:33.200
<v Speaker 2>We're gonna have to take one more quick break and

427
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:35.480
<v Speaker 2>we'll pick back through with your story. This is Road

428
00:28:35.480 --> 00:28:37.680
<v Speaker 2>to Hope Radio, Glad to have you along. Stand by

429
00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:57.720
<v Speaker 2>for just we'll be right back and we're back Road

430
00:28:57.720 --> 00:29:00.359
<v Speaker 2>to Hope Radio, Glad to have you along. We've got

431
00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:04.440
<v Speaker 2>Patrick United States Marine Corpsvette from the great City of Houston, which,

432
00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:06.519
<v Speaker 2>by the way, I hadn't mentioned this, but this past

433
00:29:06.559 --> 00:29:13.519
<v Speaker 2>week the Mayor of Houston designated Wednesday, June was it

434
00:29:13.519 --> 00:29:19.160
<v Speaker 2>Wednesday or Thursday? Wednesday June tenth, no Tuesday, whatever, whatever

435
00:29:19.240 --> 00:29:21.559
<v Speaker 2>day to the tenth was my days are all missed

436
00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:22.640
<v Speaker 2>up right now on you know what day of the

437
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:26.960
<v Speaker 2>week this is anyway, on the tenth it declared it

438
00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:30.359
<v Speaker 2>to be PTSD Foundation of America Camp Hope Day in

439
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:32.519
<v Speaker 2>the City of Houston. So a lot of recognition at

440
00:29:32.519 --> 00:29:34.480
<v Speaker 2>the city council meeting, and that was pretty cool. Get

441
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:37.480
<v Speaker 2>a chance to speak to the council and knows who

442
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:40.160
<v Speaker 2>are there about the work of PTSD Foundation and Camp

443
00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:43.720
<v Speaker 2>Hope and the fact that there's only one Camp Hope

444
00:29:43.720 --> 00:29:46.440
<v Speaker 2>in the world and there's a lot of programs out there,

445
00:29:46.559 --> 00:29:47.319
<v Speaker 2>none compared.

446
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:47.599
<v Speaker 4>No.

447
00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:50.160
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, you can decide who he thinks better

448
00:29:50.200 --> 00:29:51.960
<v Speaker 2>at this or better at that, but no one does

449
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:54.000
<v Speaker 2>what we do the way we do it, literally nobody

450
00:29:54.039 --> 00:29:55.599
<v Speaker 2>in the world. And so I said, you know, that

451
00:29:55.839 --> 00:29:57.720
<v Speaker 2>hurts my heart that this is the only place. But

452
00:29:58.359 --> 00:29:59.960
<v Speaker 2>if there's only going to be one, we should all

453
00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:02.599
<v Speaker 2>proud it's happening right here in Houston, Texas. It is

454
00:30:02.599 --> 00:30:05.720
<v Speaker 2>the greatest city in the world for our veterans. Just

455
00:30:05.759 --> 00:30:08.400
<v Speaker 2>a great community, community, people that do care, and we

456
00:30:08.440 --> 00:30:13.160
<v Speaker 2>get to see it a lot around Camp Hope. You

457
00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:15.680
<v Speaker 2>were talking about you'd gone to a private doctor. You

458
00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:19.160
<v Speaker 2>got diagnosis and some medication. You weren't really getting everything

459
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:22.680
<v Speaker 2>you needed necessarily. How long ago was that?

460
00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:26.839
<v Speaker 4>That was? Uh? Oh man, that must have been March

461
00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:32.440
<v Speaker 4>twenty twelve or twelve, So not long after you got

462
00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:34.119
<v Speaker 4>out of the core then that was probably, Yeah, it was.

463
00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:36.440
<v Speaker 4>It was immediate, okay, And I knew that I was

464
00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:43.480
<v Speaker 4>already seeking something to help with that anxiety, with that

465
00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:48.839
<v Speaker 4>social anxiety and what I later found out to be

466
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:51.119
<v Speaker 4>PTSD symptoms.

467
00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:53.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so that was twelve.

468
00:30:54.119 --> 00:31:00.519
<v Speaker 4>When did you get to Camp oh Man? February twenty

469
00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:01.799
<v Speaker 4>eighth of this year.

470
00:31:02.119 --> 00:31:05.559
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so that's another twelve and a half thirteen years.

471
00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:06.119
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

472
00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:09.559
<v Speaker 2>One, how'd you hear about Camp Hope?

473
00:31:10.200 --> 00:31:14.279
<v Speaker 4>I had my buddy come through here in twenty sixteen,

474
00:31:14.680 --> 00:31:17.480
<v Speaker 4>and another buddy come through there in twenty nineteen.

475
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:24.240
<v Speaker 2>Okay, when they mentioned it to you, how'd you respond?

476
00:31:24.920 --> 00:31:27.759
<v Speaker 4>I said, no freaking way, man. I got I got

477
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:30.240
<v Speaker 4>a job, I got two jobs, I got a wife,

478
00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:32.200
<v Speaker 4>I got a dog, I got a house, I got

479
00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:34.640
<v Speaker 4>a car. I don't need this.

480
00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:35.440
<v Speaker 3>You know.

481
00:31:35.880 --> 00:31:37.839
<v Speaker 2>At some point you had to cry uncle.

482
00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:42.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. I had to lose everything. I had to lose

483
00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:48.279
<v Speaker 4>it all before I could be able to even think

484
00:31:48.319 --> 00:31:53.200
<v Speaker 4>about going to Camp Hope, and it worked out the

485
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:57.960
<v Speaker 4>way it did for a reason. I'm I am not

486
00:31:58.119 --> 00:32:03.319
<v Speaker 4>reluctant about any of my past now. I it was

487
00:32:03.400 --> 00:32:10.759
<v Speaker 4>all a good learning experience and I'm thankful for the

488
00:32:10.799 --> 00:32:15.480
<v Speaker 4>way my life has gone up to this point. Twenty

489
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:20.279
<v Speaker 4>twenty five has been so far, probably the best year

490
00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:21.960
<v Speaker 4>of my life.

491
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:27.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so you've been here three and a half ish months.

492
00:32:28.039 --> 00:32:30.400
<v Speaker 2>You're in the meat of the program right now, sir.

493
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:37.160
<v Speaker 2>What Maybe it was a moment, maybe it was a thing,

494
00:32:37.240 --> 00:32:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it was a touch, Maybe it was a class,

495
00:32:40.279 --> 00:32:45.240
<v Speaker 2>maybe it was who knows, just sitting in the quietness

496
00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:47.160
<v Speaker 2>of your own mind around the fire pit or something.

497
00:32:47.160 --> 00:32:48.960
<v Speaker 2>I have no idea, but what, what's one thing you

498
00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:53.279
<v Speaker 2>can point to, like this really something I learned, something

499
00:32:53.319 --> 00:32:59.119
<v Speaker 2>that happened. Is this really helped me guys in my

500
00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:04.440
<v Speaker 2>bay peer to peer, peer and peer? Yeah, that's yeah,

501
00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:05.119
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

502
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:09.640
<v Speaker 4>And Uh, I was Uh, I've been struggling a lot

503
00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:14.920
<v Speaker 4>in my marriage and trying to find peace and joy

504
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:18.440
<v Speaker 4>now that that is ending, and I wanted to go

505
00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:22.519
<v Speaker 4>to a safe place, uh for me to be while

506
00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:27.079
<v Speaker 4>I am going through a divorce and figure, man, what

507
00:33:27.279 --> 00:33:30.440
<v Speaker 4>better place than Camp hope, and I knew uh some

508
00:33:30.559 --> 00:33:35.480
<v Speaker 4>of the staff previously, and uh some of the prior residents.

509
00:33:36.359 --> 00:33:40.440
<v Speaker 4>And you know, even then, I was thinking, no way, man,

510
00:33:40.519 --> 00:33:45.000
<v Speaker 4>it's not for me. And it was about the day

511
00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:50.279
<v Speaker 4>I stepped foot on the camp I just finally felt

512
00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:54.880
<v Speaker 4>that peace. I started feeling joy again for the first time.

513
00:33:55.400 --> 00:33:58.640
<v Speaker 4>And uh, I was thinking, man, maybe it's these meds

514
00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:03.359
<v Speaker 4>that the VA's got me on. But you know, even

515
00:34:03.640 --> 00:34:09.440
<v Speaker 4>h taperinging that down, it's still there. It's wonderful. It's

516
00:34:09.599 --> 00:34:13.360
<v Speaker 4>just uh, I feel drunk with laughter most days, and

517
00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:17.239
<v Speaker 4>I I haven't been able to feel that since the

518
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:20.199
<v Speaker 4>Marine Corps. I haven't been able to feel that camaraderie

519
00:34:20.840 --> 00:34:27.039
<v Speaker 4>and that uh that feeling of being safe around people

520
00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:31.440
<v Speaker 4>that people like get me and and people who don't.

521
00:34:34.039 --> 00:34:37.039
<v Speaker 4>I don't feel judged by. I can be myself. I

522
00:34:37.079 --> 00:34:41.639
<v Speaker 4>can find Patrick again. And it's been a long time

523
00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:42.639
<v Speaker 4>since I met that guy.

524
00:34:43.480 --> 00:34:47.519
<v Speaker 2>Man. I love that. That's just that's awesome. And you mentioned, uh,

525
00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:49.840
<v Speaker 2>you a little while ago talking about you know, trying

526
00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:52.599
<v Speaker 2>to pick the brains of the Vietnam vets and and

527
00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:55.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, hearing their stories and what happened and what

528
00:34:56.079 --> 00:35:00.840
<v Speaker 2>happened coming home and you know all that. Uh. I've

529
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:03.559
<v Speaker 2>heard many of them say the exact theme thing that

530
00:35:03.639 --> 00:35:08.400
<v Speaker 2>you just said about stepping into the campus of Camp

531
00:35:08.440 --> 00:35:14.639
<v Speaker 2>Hope surrounded by seventy eighty sometimes one hundred other combat vets,

532
00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:19.880
<v Speaker 2>is the first time I felt safe. Sometimes they would

533
00:35:19.960 --> 00:35:23.280
<v Speaker 2>use the word say. Sometimes they would use the word peace.

534
00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:29.000
<v Speaker 2>I thinks the word you used since leaving the combat

535
00:35:29.079 --> 00:35:33.519
<v Speaker 2>zone wherever that was. It's an amazing thing that we

536
00:35:33.559 --> 00:35:38.079
<v Speaker 2>get to see. Remember, we just got a couple minutes left.

537
00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:44.159
<v Speaker 2>But as a mentor, which means you've come through the

538
00:35:44.199 --> 00:35:46.280
<v Speaker 2>program and now you're kind of on the other side

539
00:35:46.280 --> 00:35:49.159
<v Speaker 2>of the table, as it were, what does it do

540
00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:53.599
<v Speaker 2>for you when you see and experience things like Patrick's

541
00:35:53.639 --> 00:35:58.599
<v Speaker 2>just describes like drunk with laughter, Like how different that

542
00:35:58.719 --> 00:35:59.960
<v Speaker 2>is from when they came in the door.

543
00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:04.599
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think about my time coming through the program

544
00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:08.239
<v Speaker 3>where it was difficult for me to smile, like even

545
00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:12.320
<v Speaker 3>having conversations with you, sir. We would meet on the

546
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:14.480
<v Speaker 3>front office steps at times and I couldn't even look

547
00:36:14.519 --> 00:36:17.519
<v Speaker 3>you in an eye, you know, I like, I remember that time.

548
00:36:17.559 --> 00:36:19.159
<v Speaker 2>I remember I took a very person by the way,

549
00:36:19.280 --> 00:36:26.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm still hurting my heart. I'm sorry you know, I'm kidding.

550
00:36:26.360 --> 00:36:34.719
<v Speaker 3>But definitely the change of persona changing demeanor and changing attitude,

551
00:36:35.480 --> 00:36:39.280
<v Speaker 3>the changing mental fitness to go along with physical fitness.

552
00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:42.000
<v Speaker 3>You know, guys love the gym, but you know, seeing

553
00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:45.159
<v Speaker 3>guys coming to the realization that they have to reclaim

554
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:49.440
<v Speaker 3>their identity, that seeing that every day, day after day,

555
00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:52.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't I don't go to work. You know, I

556
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:56.000
<v Speaker 3>tell the guys that a lot, I'm showing up there

557
00:36:56.039 --> 00:36:59.079
<v Speaker 3>and I'm not working. I'm being where I want to be.

558
00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:02.880
<v Speaker 3>I just happy to get paid for it. But it

559
00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:06.920
<v Speaker 3>is a phenomenal to see. I do understand what it

560
00:37:07.039 --> 00:37:10.840
<v Speaker 3>felt like for me going through it, getting to the

561
00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:13.440
<v Speaker 3>end of it and going through the point like understand

562
00:37:13.480 --> 00:37:18.360
<v Speaker 3>like Red Phase Robert mac McClain and Brandon Hartsburg, they

563
00:37:18.360 --> 00:37:23.400
<v Speaker 3>were my red phase Blackface Red Phase mentors, and they

564
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:26.519
<v Speaker 3>helped me get through that portion of the program. But

565
00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:29.400
<v Speaker 3>then when I got to Yellow phase with the Sam

566
00:37:29.519 --> 00:37:32.119
<v Speaker 3>k and then Brandon Hartsburg again when he moved over,

567
00:37:33.440 --> 00:37:36.559
<v Speaker 3>I teach my Yellow phase guys. Now a lot of

568
00:37:36.599 --> 00:37:40.639
<v Speaker 3>the words that Sam Kaid said to me because he

569
00:37:40.719 --> 00:37:43.599
<v Speaker 3>pushed me. You know, he gave me that challenge.

570
00:37:43.840 --> 00:37:47.719
<v Speaker 2>Love that marine, absolutely love that marine. Thank both of you, guys.

571
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:50.639
<v Speaker 2>So unfortunately the clock just keeps ticking and we don't

572
00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:55.719
<v Speaker 2>get to slow it down. A reminder website ptsdusa dot org.

573
00:37:55.800 --> 00:37:59.840
<v Speaker 2>On social media both let's see Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, all

574
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:04.679
<v Speaker 2>three of those ptsd USA Facebook, Twitter, I should say

575
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:11.119
<v Speaker 2>and YouTube all ptsd us A please give us a follow, retweet,

576
00:38:11.239 --> 00:38:15.280
<v Speaker 2>reshare whatever it happens to be. We appreciate you sharing

577
00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:17.639
<v Speaker 2>the story Road to Hope Rady. Wherever you listen to

578
00:38:17.679 --> 00:38:20.920
<v Speaker 2>your podcast, hit that subscribe button and share the hope. Guys,

579
00:38:20.920 --> 00:38:23.559
<v Speaker 2>everybody you meet could use some hope. Thank you for

580
00:38:23.639 --> 00:38:26.239
<v Speaker 2>joining us. We do look forward to being with you

581
00:38:26.280 --> 00:38:31.960
<v Speaker 2>again next week for more Road to Hope Radio