Speaker 1: Welcome to season three of the Let's Talk the Things Podcast.
Speaker 1: Can you believe it's season three?
Speaker 2: Like I can't.
Speaker 1: I feel like we just started two seconds ago.
Speaker 2: Now, I know what you're saying. It's been a while.
Speaker 1: I know, I know. Just think of me as the
Speaker 1: human version of mild but my reach. If you're listening
Speaker 1: to the podcast on Apple Podcast, please remember to rate
Speaker 1: and leave a comment below. Also, don't forget to follow
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Let's Talk the Things. Now, grab
Speaker 1: your tea, coffee, or a glass of wine and Let's
Speaker 1: talk the Things. Hello everyone, Welcome back to the Let's
Speaker 1: Talk the Things podcast, where we discuss person no growth, travel,
Speaker 1: music and wellness while encouraging you to live fearlessly and fabulously.
Speaker 1: I am your host, Ash and this week we are
Speaker 1: talking the things with a true powerhost in the Trinidadian
Speaker 1: media scene, media personality, host and broadcaster at Trinidad's number
Speaker 1: one hit music station Hot ninety three, Kemba Joe Hi kJ.
Speaker 2: How are you wow for me? It's you.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just eating your accolade. It's not me a promise.
Speaker 2: Oh. I am so humbled and so glad to be
Speaker 2: on here with you and sharing in this space. As
Speaker 2: I was telling you, you know, full fun girl moman
Speaker 2: to that I get to share in the Yeah, let's
Speaker 2: talk the things, all things wonderful things about life. And
Speaker 2: you went back through when your lil intro there and
Speaker 2: these are all things that I love. So I am
Speaker 2: get up for an amazing conversation with you today.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to have you, so thanks for being here.
Speaker 1: So I know you're an avid listener, but for our
Speaker 1: new listeners, they wouldn't know. I begin each episode with
Speaker 1: our listener's favorite segments. You're laughing already, so you guys
Speaker 1: know it's good.
Speaker 2: She's laughing scared.
Speaker 1: Upright, and it's called that Nason safe. So what I'm
Speaker 1: going to do is read messages or social media posts
Speaker 1: that listeners sent in, and if you think it sounds
Speaker 1: crazy or a bit concerning, you would respond that nasounds
Speaker 1: safe and explain why, and if you agree, you say
Speaker 1: you agree and explain why.
Speaker 2: Sounds good? Okay, sounds good? All right?
Speaker 1: First one someone asked what's your toxic trait?
Speaker 2: And the person.
Speaker 1: Replied, I show up for people who don't even show
Speaker 1: up for themselves, and then wonder why I'm doing all
Speaker 1: the heavy lifting.
Speaker 2: That not songs safe but right because it is, and
Speaker 2: everyone's throwing around they would, right, it's start codependency out there.
Speaker 2: It is a toxic trait more for the person who's
Speaker 2: overextending themselves because the more you give and give, and yes,
Speaker 2: we're called to love and we're called to you know,
Speaker 2: bleed ourselves for the people we care for, really and truly,
Speaker 2: at some point it's you're gonna kill yourself, right, and
Speaker 2: the pain and the worry of not having that person
Speaker 2: reciprocate that not song safe, take care yourself first, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1: And I think that as women, a lot of times
Speaker 1: we are socialized to overextend, right, girl, and especially in
Speaker 1: our culture, right in Caribbean culture, that's what we're socialized
Speaker 1: to do. Like we're expected to give our all, to
Speaker 1: give our last dollar, to give all of our energy,
Speaker 1: you know, when we have family or are married or
Speaker 1: have kids, to just focus on them.
Speaker 2: And of course, and nothing is wrong with going the
Speaker 2: extra miles for these people that we care to what costs? So, yeah,
Speaker 2: what is today? Is it Sunday at church?
Speaker 1: No, it's true, it's true, and I remember I forgot
Speaker 1: where I heard it, but basically the fact that everything
Speaker 1: has a cost, right, So when you make any decision
Speaker 1: in life, you have to think, like, what is this
Speaker 1: costing me?
Speaker 2: Number one?
Speaker 1: And like you said earlier, and I think that was
Speaker 1: so well said, it's really the person over extending that's toxic.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times when we've been in
Speaker 1: those positions of over extending, you think like, why is
Speaker 1: this person not you know, reciprocating or how could they
Speaker 1: not see I'm so great and I've done all these things,
Speaker 1: but that's not their job. If you do something right
Speaker 1: and you see that it's not appreciated and you continue
Speaker 1: to do it, I mean, that's not come on, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Dan a right, and you're absolutely right. So I mean,
Speaker 2: as you get sex for a little bit, that is
Speaker 2: actually something that I've been teaching my son. So I
Speaker 2: have a son preteen age at this stage, and I'm
Speaker 2: not trying to make the decisions for him as much
Speaker 2: as I'm trying to help him understand this is the
Speaker 2: cost of this thing that you want to do. So, okay,
Speaker 2: you want to play video games and not go to
Speaker 2: bed at a decent hour. Sure, what's the cost of
Speaker 2: the decision of you staying up late and not going
Speaker 2: to bed, and how will you pay for it the
Speaker 2: next day? Do we have an early start? Do you
Speaker 2: have to you know, not be completely zonked out on
Speaker 2: a screen? At what cost? I say that with my
Speaker 2: employees as much as I'm in media as well. You know,
Speaker 2: corporate is the beginning of my entire career and it's
Speaker 2: just played a role in everything that I do. And
Speaker 2: that's something that I tell my employees as well. Okay,
Speaker 2: so you made this decision at what cost? Right? Or
Speaker 2: you're going to do this thing? My friends, people that
Speaker 2: I care for sure, go ahead and do this thing,
Speaker 2: you know, at what cost? And I feel like when
Speaker 2: we start asking ourselves that question, I could do this
Speaker 2: footyboot At what cost? Am I robbing them of their
Speaker 2: own accountability? Am I keeping them from learning the lesson
Speaker 2: that they perhaps need to learn? And at what cost?
Speaker 1: So I'm with you, absolutely, absolutely no, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: That's definitely something to think about and maybe something that
Speaker 1: people can take with them this year. You know, as
Speaker 1: far as I know, it's still early in the year
Speaker 1: and everyone's deciding like what their goals are still or
Speaker 1: maybe what their.
Speaker 2: Word is for the year.
Speaker 1: Because the way January has been going, I want to
Speaker 1: do over February first, but that's another another time.
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm giving myself till April because the real New
Speaker 2: Year is when spring time. Right, That's true, That's true.
Speaker 1: I would have to agree with you on that for sure.
Speaker 2: Okay, the next.
Speaker 1: One, what has been someone's ride or die gotten you?
Speaker 1: Besides writing and energetically dying? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I agree? Yeah, what has it costed? What? Tell me again?
Speaker 2: I think you blow me your way and got the
Speaker 2: phrasing right. Yes, what has it cost me? Being the writer?
Speaker 2: What are you saying?
Speaker 1: What has been someone's ride or die gotten you besides
Speaker 1: besides just writing and energetically dying?
Speaker 2: Weight loss? Look at Maga, Look at Maga, Maga and
Speaker 2: not the good guy. Yes, yes, that will do it.
Speaker 2: These stress of this thing. And I am loyal too.
Speaker 2: I always say, if I had to talk to trade,
Speaker 2: it would be loyal to Afford because when I'm in
Speaker 2: your corner, I'm in your corner. I am learning that
Speaker 2: I could be in your corner and you can do
Speaker 2: wrong and then we get to grow through it. But
Speaker 2: once upon a time, once I'm in your corner, you
Speaker 2: could do no wrong, and that has definitely the ride
Speaker 2: has been magavell skinny skinny, lose it. And then I
Speaker 2: also think, you know, missed opportunities. And I feel like, oftentimes,
Speaker 2: and maybe you relate to this as a Caribbean person,
Speaker 2: we stick with the people that we care for. We
Speaker 2: band together right with our friendships and our you know,
Speaker 2: close knit people because you're like, well, this is the
Speaker 2: threat that keeps us together. But right or die? How
Speaker 2: so imagine I am not giving myself the opportunity to
Speaker 2: form friendships with people, true story, because you do something
Speaker 2: to my friend. I am the friend where you can't
Speaker 2: break up with my friend because I pass and you
Speaker 2: straight right, you've done wrong forgive me place right right?
Speaker 2: You know, my I wasn't not watching now all because
Speaker 2: because how are you going to my friend that? You
Speaker 2: know what I mean? I agree, I feel like the
Speaker 2: added stress for sure, and mostly in a romantic sense
Speaker 2: to being a ride or die Bonnie and Clyde, Okay,
Speaker 2: you just said it at what cost? Like to what
Speaker 2: end am I going to do that? And I do?
Speaker 2: I do agree. I definitely agree that. Yeah, we ride
Speaker 2: in and then dieing energetically agree.
Speaker 1: And I just feel like the ride is never quite smooth,
Speaker 1: it's giving roller coaster, it's it's not it's not what
Speaker 1: you think it is. But I think it's a lesson
Speaker 1: that our mothers, grandmothers, you know, just in the realm
Speaker 1: of women can't really tell us, you know, because I
Speaker 1: know we've all been in that space where we think
Speaker 1: our mothers or grandmothers specifically mothers though because that's a.
Speaker 2: Little bit closer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we feel like they weren't once our age, like
Speaker 1: they were just born old, you know, like you know,
Speaker 1: it's something. It's something when you're like a teenager, young
Speaker 1: adult or even us being in our thirties, like you
Speaker 1: think like, oh, you don't really know or that was
Speaker 1: then this is no. And the world is really cyclical,
Speaker 1: like it's a lot of the experiences are very similar,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, even if we're in different times.
Speaker 2: So I I they used to see the old people
Speaker 2: used to see yogo lu. Yeah, you go find out
Speaker 2: when you're reached what I reach, you go understand and listen.
Speaker 2: It's a good thing. Who though taste too much like right?
Speaker 1: And it's true, Like you know, there's a saying in Jamaica,
Speaker 1: who don't hear will feel, you know, and it's like,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: How you go feel, We have that too. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: like you have to experience it.
Speaker 1: And like you said, I used to be very much
Speaker 1: like that. Like the way I initially viewed friendship was
Speaker 1: that you know, this is a person you can trust,
Speaker 1: and this is a person that you know, like you
Speaker 1: just said, if somebody does them wrong, especially a man,
Speaker 1: it's like you're done with them. But then I got
Speaker 1: to realize, wait a minute, that's specific to not only
Speaker 1: my culture as in being Jamaica or being Caribbean, but
Speaker 1: also my family.
Speaker 2: Like just what I thought, that's the family culture.
Speaker 1: Right, that's the exception to the rule. And I found
Speaker 1: that it was doing me a disservice because then I
Speaker 1: became known as the loyal friend, the writer or die
Speaker 1: if you will. But everybody else just did what they wanted.
Speaker 1: So if you know I needed you, or you know
Speaker 1: I had to if I needed your help for something
Speaker 1: or your advice or anything, it was like, ah, she's fine,
Speaker 1: Like she can handle it.
Speaker 2: And you know we've lived the same life. Clearly we have.
Speaker 2: Because then that almost ironically, as loyal as we are,
Speaker 2: makes us replaceable or the feeling that we're replaceable, because
Speaker 2: when people believe by our actions, especially that well I
Speaker 2: could do this person whatever and they will stick around,
Speaker 2: then they take it. They take a idiot, and you
Speaker 2: know that just does not, it's true, sit well with
Speaker 2: me anymore. And it's so funny that you say that
Speaker 2: I have been growing through and healing through, you know,
Speaker 2: probably one of the most devastating ends of a friendship
Speaker 2: that you know, I think it will go down in
Speaker 2: history as the one, the one I had to learn
Speaker 2: the most from, you know, and I love I still
Speaker 2: love that person two pieces. I've just had to learn
Speaker 2: now what that has got me in the end. So
Speaker 2: all right, it's true.
Speaker 1: And just to close the loop on that, I think
Speaker 1: that when you've lived your life being the loyal person
Speaker 1: or the writer die and you know, experienced teacheth wisdom, right,
Speaker 1: so you get older and you go through things and
Speaker 1: you realize, wait a minute, this is what was happening
Speaker 1: or this is how this person was treating me, and
Speaker 1: then you decide to you know, not do that anymore.
Speaker 1: If you should say or like put yourself first, then
Speaker 1: you become the villain because the person is now looking
Speaker 1: at you like, wait a minute, I used to be
Speaker 1: able to get away with this behavior, so why all.
Speaker 2: Of a sudden.
Speaker 1: So it's a very odd dynamic that somebody that has
Speaker 1: maybe not been treating you the best, or you know,
Speaker 1: just not being a reciprocal friend, or you know, a
Speaker 1: romantic partner or a family member or whoever, they would
Speaker 1: be so shocked the fact that you're putting yourself first.
Speaker 1: You know what, I the day, every time yourself.
Speaker 2: You have to you have every time, every time, and
Speaker 2: you know what, the very first couple of times, it's
Speaker 2: going to be terrible. You're gonna feel awful for doing
Speaker 2: this thing. But that's the beauty of boundaries, right. The
Speaker 2: more you practice that thing that is really important to you,
Speaker 2: the easier it becomes over time, or it doesn't, it
Speaker 2: doesn't scare you as much. You might still be scared, right, God,
Speaker 2: here we go again, But that the first one will
Speaker 2: will hurt, you know, hopefully you learn from it, and
Speaker 2: then the other one doesn't hurt as much, and it
Speaker 2: also doesn't take as much time because you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: hold on, I've seen the way that this two on
Speaker 2: two is full exactly, not twenty two. And then you
Speaker 2: can either speak up earlier to resolve it, to work
Speaker 2: through the conflict or realize and doesn't make sense exactly
Speaker 2: exactly exactly, so it's it's burning.
Speaker 1: But you know everybody takes their own individual time. So life, right,
Speaker 1: that's exactly life. Indeed, all right, I'm.
Speaker 2: Okay, so all right, so far, so good.
Speaker 1: All right, a few more so the next one. I
Speaker 1: am in my anti era, so please do not invite
Speaker 1: me anywhere where I will not have a place to sit.
Speaker 2: That song kind of unsid, Okay, you have to explain
Speaker 2: that one, of course. So my initial thing was, yeah,
Speaker 2: I a one hundred percent agree because I have to sit,
Speaker 2: but don a song safe because I am also Caribbean
Speaker 2: and I love Carnival, and therefore I could go off
Speaker 2: fat and stunt up whole night, jump, whole night seat nothing. No,
Speaker 2: it's I go on the road for two days, right right,
Speaker 2: kind of a Monday and Tuesday. One of easier is
Speaker 2: you're going to have to really come. I am not
Speaker 2: tired at all. And then there are are the events
Speaker 2: where it is who it is? What kind of please?
Speaker 2: Where's the chair? My old people back is killing me?
Speaker 1: No, I agree, and I'm glad you brought up carnivals,
Speaker 1: because we're definitely going to talk about that. But I'm
Speaker 1: with you, Like I'm known in my friend group as
Speaker 1: the one that does not sit down, Like when it
Speaker 1: comes to music, a dance floor, a dance floor, I
Speaker 1: hate to see me coming. Okay, I need to see
Speaker 1: me coming. And I've been that way since I was little,
Speaker 1: you know, Like I just say, I love music. I
Speaker 1: love to dance. My parents love to dance. I used
Speaker 1: to find it very embarrassing, but they just love get
Speaker 1: it from, you know, to show I'm with you.
Speaker 2: I'm with you.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like teetering on the lineup. And it
Speaker 1: also depends on what shoes I have on, because let
Speaker 1: me tell you.
Speaker 2: Girl and burning. Yeah, you have to know the right
Speaker 2: tell you the right story. Listen. And you know, when
Speaker 2: you're young and stupid, you want to go to the
Speaker 2: club dressed to the nine. All of the millennial posts
Speaker 2: about like going to the club and business.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, like.
Speaker 2: Insane, insane, right, but those those pumps right, someone, I'm heeled,
Speaker 2: wasn't it? I have taken my shoes off in a
Speaker 2: club before I know. It's embarrassing. It's down a sound
Speaker 2: safe for sure, but no, my why my toes must
Speaker 2: be burning me? And so now I've learned we do
Speaker 2: flat a full platform in the kind of spice girls
Speaker 2: era will get you through it. And I know a
Speaker 2: lot of fashionists out there will probably say terrible things
Speaker 2: about this. Give me a wedge. Let me wear a
Speaker 2: wedge from now until because I'll be good. I'll be
Speaker 2: really comfortable. You can have a good time.
Speaker 1: Like I find that when you're uncomfortable, you can't really
Speaker 1: enjoy yourself, you know, in any.
Speaker 2: Kind of way, whether it's you shoe or the dress,
Speaker 2: or the environment or the energy, it's just not going
Speaker 2: to be. So that was a kind of innimate. I
Speaker 2: agree with you.
Speaker 1: That one, all right, Next one, I have to stop
Speaker 1: letting people who are at war with themselves destroy my energy.
Speaker 2: Amen, I agree one thousand percent. Tying back into you know,
Speaker 2: the whole topic or the previous ones, right, So when
Speaker 2: you believe that you're loyal to fold or when you
Speaker 2: you know, just have to be in this space with
Speaker 2: this person at whatever caused. Yeah, But now when I
Speaker 2: recognize the storm inside of somebody else, I can hold grace,
Speaker 2: I can hold space. I can have compassion and empathy,
Speaker 2: having walked through many a storm in my life. But
Speaker 2: there's there's a health distant and that's what a lot
Speaker 2: of folks tend to call a boundary, right, which is
Speaker 2: the distance between myself loving me and loving you too,
Speaker 2: or something to that effect. And yeah, no, please please
Speaker 2: stay away. That is dangerous because you're at war with yourself.
Speaker 2: Anybody that tries to get closed is going to automatically
Speaker 2: become the enemy in your war, because you are an
Speaker 2: enemy to yourself.
Speaker 1: So I agree at absolutely, And I think one of
Speaker 1: the most dangerous things is envy. I think it's worse
Speaker 1: than jealousy or any other type of emotion. And I
Speaker 1: think when you stay around persons, particularly friends that have
Speaker 1: only time and time again that they actually really don't
Speaker 1: like you, And sometimes they don't even know that they
Speaker 1: don't like you, but you can tell by their actions
Speaker 1: that they have just distained for you, And if you
Speaker 1: continue to place yourself in their environment, that can be
Speaker 1: very dangerous. So you know, I'm holding space for all
Speaker 1: those things, but when it gets to you seeing some
Speaker 1: sign of envy in that way, I'm holding run like
Speaker 1: you can run it, because you know I'm not.
Speaker 2: Even letting you exit. I exit must say exactly, you
Speaker 2: can stay, I peep this thing, and I am gone
Speaker 2: because I can what cost and that those kinds of
Speaker 2: situations have fueled the low self esteem or the unwithiness
Speaker 2: or really feeling like, well, I clearly have to be
Speaker 2: the problem if X y Z keeps happening. And it's
Speaker 2: only when you really break free from that kind of torture,
Speaker 2: because that's really what it is, and then you allow
Speaker 2: yourself to honor your boundaries any things that are important
Speaker 2: to you. When people come along that are not envious
Speaker 2: or that really do care for you, I love you,
Speaker 2: you see the difference in the way that they treat you,
Speaker 2: and then you feel that. So you feel that, and then.
Speaker 1: You're wondering why were you suffering all this time?
Speaker 2: And then you simply look at yourself with compassion and say,
Speaker 2: I did the best I could have with what I knew.
Speaker 1: And you know what, that's the bright and cherry answer.
Speaker 1: But I found that in addition to that, or that
Speaker 1: was something I got to after my first emotion was
Speaker 1: being upset. Because once you experience like what a friendship,
Speaker 1: let's say, let's just stick with that, it's supposed to
Speaker 1: feel like you're like, what the heck was I putting
Speaker 1: up with NBC?
Speaker 2: And D like what? Correct? It's not the anger for me,
Speaker 2: I don't know me and anger of a really interesting relationship.
Speaker 2: I get sad. I just I feel a deep sense
Speaker 2: of sadness more than I feel anger. I feel anger, yes,
Speaker 2: but it's fleeting. There is a sadness that stays with
Speaker 2: me sometimes. When I said and I realized, wow, I
Speaker 2: really put up a duetition this time, there's no way.
Speaker 2: And of course, you know, sitting in the sadness and
Speaker 2: in the grief of because that's really kind of what
Speaker 2: it is, right, it's the grief in some way, and
Speaker 2: that's a dark cloud, and I mean if you sit
Speaker 2: there too long it gets unhealthy as well. And then
Speaker 2: you move into pharaoh skies and the rain clouds pods,
Speaker 2: and then you really get to focus and love the
Speaker 2: fact that, at least for me, I love the fact
Speaker 2: that I learned. I learned something from this, and and
Speaker 2: that's where it's it's a charity side of things. So
Speaker 2: for sure, it's the entire process, all of these odd feelings,
Speaker 2: the terrible stuff, what I was really doing, And then
Speaker 2: you get to that with compassion, h to the other side.
Speaker 2: That's right, the only wall just through absolutely only way.
Speaker 1: I just through absolutely and I think for me also,
Speaker 1: I don't have any bad feelings towards that person or
Speaker 1: those people like I actually feel bad for them. That's
Speaker 1: so that's where I feel sad. I feel sad for
Speaker 1: them because when you open your eyes and you recognize, wait,
Speaker 1: you only treated me this way because you likely saw
Speaker 1: something in me that I didn't even see in myself.
Speaker 1: So you figured that if you treated me this way,
Speaker 1: what would happen what you said earlier. You're gonna get
Speaker 1: low self esteem, You're gonna think, wait, something is wrong
Speaker 1: with me. You're chasing after this person, so you're fueling
Speaker 1: their ego and their sense of importance. And then once
Speaker 1: you come to the realization that waits a minute, I
Speaker 1: don't have to put up with this, or I don't
Speaker 1: need this, or I don't and it's like they're looking
Speaker 1: at you like wait, wait, wait no, but I need
Speaker 1: you to be this person. I need you to allow
Speaker 1: me to pour my hate for myself onto you because
Speaker 1: it makes me feel good.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like for me, I just come
Speaker 1: to a point where I'm like, whoa, I if anything,
Speaker 1: and I feel bad. I feel bad for you, Like
Speaker 1: I really, I really hope that you change that, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, because you're not living a full
Speaker 1: life by the envy or jealous exactly or whatever you
Speaker 1: are exactly. That's really sad. But like you said, it's
Speaker 1: a lesson righting.
Speaker 2: It is it is it And that's the only thing
Speaker 2: I remember having. A friend of mine lost her brother
Speaker 2: tragically terrible accident and and you know, connecting with the
Speaker 2: family over the month after his passing. I spoke to
Speaker 2: his mom while their mom and I asked her, I said,
Speaker 2: you know, how are you able to get up and
Speaker 2: face the day? And she said something, She's like, you
Speaker 2: really have to forgive them because they know not what
Speaker 2: they do. And I was like, it took a while.
Speaker 2: It took years for me to really understand what she
Speaker 2: meant by that. And as you were sharing just now
Speaker 2: about feeling sad for them, that's the moment and it's
Speaker 2: almost like, Okay, wow, I feel sad, yes, And then
Speaker 2: it's almost like I'll send her a positive thoughts on.
Speaker 3: Positives right right, because the sadness that you have to
Speaker 3: feel for yourself is huge you know, And it's not
Speaker 3: about being righteous or you know, as Christians and Caribbean
Speaker 3: people as well, we have to be careful.
Speaker 2: With how those things can come across. And it's not
Speaker 2: the I'm forgiving you to make it to heaven. There's
Speaker 2: a true, true sense of compassion and a true sense
Speaker 2: of healing that comes with forgiveness, whether it's for yourself
Speaker 2: or whether it's for those who have wronged you. The
Speaker 2: full feeling of healing to then not repeat the pattern
Speaker 2: comes for me at least, has come from sitting with forgiveness.
Speaker 2: They may never be sorry, but it's okay. Yeah, I'll
Speaker 2: be okay.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 2: It is, I'll be okay even if they're never sorry.
Speaker 2: So Envy, jealousy, you know, not loving themselves enough. I
Speaker 2: am becoming their punching bag all of those things. Okay,
Speaker 2: I I need to find a way to be okay
Speaker 2: even if they never apologize. So taken the things today?
Speaker 1: Okay, two more, I'm the next one. Normalize luxury in
Speaker 1: your life. Suffering is not an achievement.
Speaker 2: Agree, Yeah, agree, one thousand percent. Agree. Little things, it
Speaker 2: could be the big things. I made a big girl
Speaker 2: decision just this week. How are they letting us be
Speaker 2: the adults. But some may look at it as luxury,
Speaker 2: but I'm looking at it as a way to not suffer.
Speaker 2: So there's big things, and it's the investment in myself
Speaker 2: and in my craft and in things that will help
Speaker 2: me to then enjoy and not have to suffer all
Speaker 2: unlemit tell you it is as small as at least
Speaker 2: for me, simple luxuries, getting ice cream at the end
Speaker 2: of hard day, right going doing my nails. Girl. I
Speaker 2: don't know when I became this. I must do my
Speaker 2: nails when someone puts on. I don't know when when
Speaker 2: that happened, you came along. I mean, I can tell
Speaker 2: you when the exact day and time. But this shift
Speaker 2: and sometimes simple luxuries like that helped to reduce the suffering,
Speaker 2: whether it is because the nails were not looking Rabbi
Speaker 2: or the suffering of just ceiling down and outs. I agree,
Speaker 2: no luxury me please, Yes, we are not suffering overhead
Speaker 2: time for that day exactly. I agree. That's definitely sound safe,
Speaker 2: very very safe. Okay.
Speaker 1: And the last one, which I think is perfect. It
Speaker 1: just kind of bring everything together that we've spoken about
Speaker 1: thus far in this segment. Knowing when to leave is
Speaker 1: so important, the job, the party, and the relationship.
Speaker 2: It's safe, I agree, save for an Selassie, I brief, chase,
Speaker 2: lock it up, put it in. I can't marriage. Oh
Speaker 2: it has to be, it has to be, it has
Speaker 2: to be. And sometimes I don't know, tell me if
Speaker 2: you agree, right. Sometimes sometimes you not really know when
Speaker 2: it is time, but you know when it is time.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, your body is telling you. Your body is
Speaker 1: telling you, but your brain, especially going back to what
Speaker 1: we talked about being loyal and the whole writer Die thing,
Speaker 1: is saying, well, maybe such and such didn't mean it,
Speaker 1: or maybe I'm taking it mm hmmm, or.
Speaker 2: Maybe I could endure a little bit more of whatever
Speaker 2: this thing is. Or I knew what I signed up
Speaker 2: for when I said I will do this thing, and
Speaker 2: so I'm going to do it anyway, because like my loyalty,
Speaker 2: my level of commitment is sometimes too high and I
Speaker 2: don't know when it's time for me to dress back
Speaker 2: and say hold on, what's really going on here? And
Speaker 2: enough is enough? And then the courage that it takes
Speaker 2: to admit that. So yeah, So you don't always there's
Speaker 2: never a right time, but there is always a right time.
Speaker 2: Absolutely at the same time. Absolutely, I love that perfect perfectly. Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh wow, amazing. I feel like the next one if
Speaker 2: I get to be to talk the things again, we
Speaker 2: had to guess some more crazy to say. Nothing apart
Speaker 2: from me, I think the first two or the first
Speaker 2: one was really out there. Everything else has been such
Speaker 2: an important part of this journey that I have been
Speaker 2: on and the learning that I keep having to show
Speaker 2: up in the this. You know, I can't get over
Speaker 2: the introduction that you gave me, and it's you.
Speaker 1: I'm just delivering it. But that's that's who you are.
Speaker 1: I think it's sometimes it's a beautiful thing to hear
Speaker 1: other people talk about your accolades and your achievements because
Speaker 1: I think, probably.
Speaker 2: Don't say it to yourself. I mean, who does that
Speaker 2: you know exactly? And or maybe truly I just don't
Speaker 2: see it because so much of what I do in
Speaker 2: this space of life, you know, media or otherwise, it's fun.
Speaker 2: I just go in and I just have fun. And
Speaker 2: I think because I go in and I have fun,
Speaker 2: I don't see, yeah, what other people see. So thanks
Speaker 2: my fun.
Speaker 1: Yes, So that was both will say, hilarious and insightful.
Speaker 1: But no, it's time to really talk the things. Sure,
Speaker 1: so you've built an incredible career in media, as you
Speaker 1: briefly spoke about. So I wanted to know what's one
Speaker 1: thing that you did early on that you could say
Speaker 1: or you would say it helped you push past any
Speaker 1: fear of failure.
Speaker 2: Hmmm mm hmmm. I'm going to quote my program director
Speaker 2: at Hot ninety three, Big of War repe just press play,
Speaker 2: press play, get out of my head and worrying about
Speaker 2: if the volume levels are right and if Mike is
Speaker 2: positioned properly in the studio, and just press play. And
Speaker 2: that's been something. Yeah, take action. That is the taking
Speaker 2: the action. So I think for sure, yeah, doing that
Speaker 2: and then if I can maybe stick in like a
Speaker 2: secondary thing that has helped ask a lot of questions,
Speaker 2: Just ask the questions. Sit with the pros in the space,
Speaker 2: the people that have been doing it for years, sit
Speaker 2: at their feet, and learn from them of zoo, how
Speaker 2: they have mastered their craft, and not that you want
Speaker 2: to be like them, but just observe how they show
Speaker 2: up in the space. And most times what I've seen
Speaker 2: is imperfection. Any sense of you know, you forget to
Speaker 2: press a button, not something is to a level is
Speaker 2: too low, a level is too high. But they really
Speaker 2: just they just press play. They just do it. I
Speaker 2: love that. I love that play. Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think you know, there's really no perfect moment.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just have to go for it.
Speaker 2: You know, if we wait for the perfect moment, we're
Speaker 2: going to be waiting on each sidelines for But that's true,
Speaker 2: that nothing whatever have. That's so because the form. Let's
Speaker 2: you know, to think of your podcast too. You got
Speaker 2: up one day and you said, I'm doing this right.
Speaker 2: How do you waited for the perfect space and location
Speaker 2: and schedule for all of the episodes? It probably would
Speaker 2: not be this thing that you've now curated for three seasons,
Speaker 2: you know, uncounting, right, you just kind of freeze in
Speaker 2: the need for perfection. But you just got up and
Speaker 2: you did it. And it may not be the same
Speaker 2: every single time, but you still your press play.
Speaker 1: In your case, in your case, your press record literally
Speaker 1: and figuratively.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's exactly exactly that. Yep.
Speaker 1: Thinking about or I guess staying on that topic. In
Speaker 1: a world where so many people, especially you know as women,
Speaker 1: are maybe just doubting themselves a lot, what would you
Speaker 1: say to someone that's hesitant to take that first step,
Speaker 1: you know, like to just press play.
Speaker 2: As you said, that's a really good one. Trust in yourself,
Speaker 2: Trust in yourself, trust that that you can do it,
Speaker 2: whether you have the applause or not, trust in yourself,
Speaker 2: and then do it. Do it imperfectly, do it, maybe
Speaker 2: not as consistently, but just do it the thrill of
Speaker 2: oh my god, I did this thing, like I really what? Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's gonna and you know what. And you may take
Speaker 2: two steps and then get shy again and stop. Just
Speaker 2: don't go backwards. Trust yourself to stay in place, and
Speaker 2: then trust yourself to take one little step again, or
Speaker 2: if you really want to go big, take the leap
Speaker 2: of faith. Trust yourself that you're ready to do it
Speaker 2: and that you'll be enough in whatever whatever chance you take.
Speaker 2: And maybe it won't work out the first time, or
Speaker 2: maybe it won't work out perfectly okay, and then learn
Speaker 2: from it and then dush yourself off again. For first
Speaker 2: you don't succeed. Hey, I was like, I don't want
Speaker 2: to interrupt.
Speaker 1: I don't want to interrupt your flow with my foolishness.
Speaker 2: Let me say I've been saying it. If at first
Speaker 2: you don't succeed A Liah said it perfectly, and then
Speaker 2: they are all of the other philosophical ways of saying
Speaker 2: what is the same? Yeah, you know? Okay again, So
Speaker 2: if your knees puts a little, you know, Ginger Violet,
Speaker 2: you know the Ginger Violet Denies Poople stuff and on
Speaker 2: the bruise and go again. Just tiger Bomb, the Tiger
Speaker 2: BOMBI whatever it is. And yeah, trust that album. My advice.
Speaker 2: Trust yourself. You're capable. Yeah, I love that perfectly.
Speaker 1: Well, a little music segment, speaking of music and entertainment.
Speaker 1: Music and entertainment are obviously a major part of your life.
Speaker 1: So how do you think music has shaped who you
Speaker 1: are today?
Speaker 2: It's everything, It's everything of who I am today, family history,
Speaker 2: story time. My parents met in a band. Oh wow,
Speaker 2: so they have that their musicians. My mom is a
Speaker 2: whiz at anything with strings, just as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 2: She loves amazing on the piano and recorder, wind instrument.
Speaker 2: She's just musically inclined. And my dad is a drummer.
Speaker 2: So when they met in the band, my mom came
Speaker 2: in to do voice and keys, and my dad was
Speaker 2: a drummer. So music has Foreshore shaped every single thing
Speaker 2: that I have ever known myself to do. Growing up
Speaker 2: in a house with musicians. Yeah, the instruments everywhere. It's
Speaker 2: a late night reheusal. My little sister when growing up,
Speaker 2: you know, she would have performed in and competed in
Speaker 2: collipse of competitions during carnival season. So you know, I
Speaker 2: had to drag myself out, you know, from school to
Speaker 2: a clipse of competition or whatever the cases. So I
Speaker 2: can't ever see myself without music. It will be, I think,
Speaker 2: the greatest tragedy if I were to ever attempt to
Speaker 2: live life without music. It is absolutely shaped every cell
Speaker 2: of who I was, who I am, and who I
Speaker 2: will continue to become. I love it. Well.
Speaker 1: We do have a couple of things in common. That
Speaker 1: is a drummer, and my dad used to play with
Speaker 1: Byron Lee and the Dragonairs, Whoa and yeah, and you
Speaker 1: know in his in the majority of his career to
Speaker 1: tend the metals and like Bob Marley and all these
Speaker 1: different kinds of people. So I grew up with es
Speaker 1: the entire life. So what you're saying, I one hundred
Speaker 1: percent resonate with that. My mom, though, is not musically incline.
Speaker 2: My mom's more like.
Speaker 1: Educated, has the whole heap of degrees like that type
Speaker 1: of thing. So yeah, that part is not so much.
Speaker 1: But my mom loves music though, so you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, even though she doesn't play an instrument
Speaker 1: or anything like that, she loves music like I Just
Speaker 1: like I told you earlier, both my parents loved dancing.
Speaker 2: So either way, music was always around me.
Speaker 1: So whether it was hearing you know, the band my
Speaker 1: dad was in, or just being in the car with
Speaker 1: my mom or you know, going to different functions with
Speaker 1: her and they're playing music. That's where I get it
Speaker 1: from because my mom does not know how to sit down.
Speaker 2: She's the entire time I have these same parents. So
Speaker 2: as much as you know my parents met in a band,
Speaker 2: my mom was a primary school teacher for just shy
Speaker 2: of about forty years. She only recently retired. Yeah, that's right,
Speaker 2: and she's just as much all of those things, you know,
Speaker 2: teaching and additional certifications and degrees, and then decided, you know,
Speaker 2: she was going to go get her official degree music
Speaker 2: and that open door she went and got certified to do.
Speaker 2: Was it dyslexia? Is that something with dyslexia, and so
Speaker 2: she learned how to identify children with special needs in
Speaker 2: that way with learning challenges. She's done it all and
Speaker 2: she music is still at the core of everything that
Speaker 2: she's done. And I have vivid memories and it's only
Speaker 2: as you mentioned, you know, your dad's own journey. I've
Speaker 2: been in a studio with my godfather, who is you know,
Speaker 2: also a prominent musician and stuff in Trinidad, and he
Speaker 2: I have memories of being in the studio and there
Speaker 2: are certain songs that I hate and it takes me
Speaker 2: back to I can smell the you know, the cushion
Speaker 2: walls in a recording studio. How it's the sponge. I
Speaker 2: can smell the sponge if I hear certain songs or
Speaker 2: you know, you go all these years later you meet people, Oh,
Speaker 2: you know this is my daughter. You remember when we
Speaker 2: would and she was under the table. Now my new
Speaker 2: Isagela like to sleep, so we have to be outlked,
Speaker 2: no problem. I am going to write sleeping when I
Speaker 2: have to wait. And you know, the memory that is
Speaker 2: probably most prominent, and I encourage you, if you've not
Speaker 2: yet seen it, is to look up panas P A
Speaker 2: N A Z. Z literally Panjazz and Daddy was, you know,
Speaker 2: a drummer with Panas for a long time. And I'm
Speaker 2: sure you have those memories too. You know, they're traveling
Speaker 2: for music and they're going on a on a trip
Speaker 2: and it's all of these things and seeing Panas the
Speaker 2: movie that was my entire childhood, literally and and it
Speaker 2: was so weird seeing people be like, oh, Panas is
Speaker 2: such a great group, and I just know these people
Speaker 2: as Uncle Barry, you know what I mean, exactly, so
Speaker 2: so wild. So I like you. I think we share
Speaker 2: so much in common that way. My mom can hold up.
Speaker 2: My mom doesn't say still, either retired or not. She
Speaker 2: is go away, Mentellia, go away. She will not sit still.
Speaker 2: And I told her, said, she when I retire, you're
Speaker 2: not going to catch me doing anything. I said, okay,
Speaker 2: wait for it. But she has to keep moving. It's just,
Speaker 2: you know, it's just just what, it's just who she is.
Speaker 2: And she's really good at anything that I think she
Speaker 2: puts her mind to. So I think too, that's also
Speaker 2: where I get some of my inspiration. Just do it.
Speaker 2: You know, my mom has been the person and one
Speaker 2: of the women that I could look up in my
Speaker 2: life too, and say she really never let anything get
Speaker 2: in the way of whatever she needed to accomplish, and
Speaker 2: that is so admirable. So I think having strong women
Speaker 2: in examples absolutely helps you know, whether it's a family friend,
Speaker 2: or a boss, or a mentor or a teacher, just
Speaker 2: a woman who is that level of Okay, if I
Speaker 2: could do half of what she does, then I feel
Speaker 2: like I'll bear it. No, I agree.
Speaker 1: I feel like I didn't appreciate it as much until
Speaker 1: I got a little bit older, Like just the benefit
Speaker 1: of having such a good example of a woman that
Speaker 1: is just you know, able to focus on her goals,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and not allow people's what
Speaker 1: we're talking about before, maybe opinions of themselves or hatred
Speaker 1: of themselves, you know, stop her from doing anything or
Speaker 1: stop her from being who she actually is, even if
Speaker 1: that's different than other people. And I find that when
Speaker 1: you get older, you understand your mother a lot more,
Speaker 1: like I understand certain things that she's gone through, or
Speaker 1: you understand certain behaviors or just how she carried herself.
Speaker 1: And it's really a blessing because you have a lot
Speaker 1: of women that might not have that example. And like
Speaker 1: you said, they have to look to maybe you know,
Speaker 1: aunts or friends or godparents or and the truth is,
Speaker 1: you know anyone you have in your life, right because
Speaker 1: it could even be a man that's giving you certain
Speaker 1: advice or whatever the case may be. But I think
Speaker 1: it just it lends to the point that it's just
Speaker 1: so important to have someone in your you know, vicinity
Speaker 1: that you look up to and you can and particularly
Speaker 1: when it is a woman, you know, you can say like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't have to follow the crowd, like
Speaker 1: I can be my own person. I can do music
Speaker 1: but also teach. I can you know, write a book,
Speaker 1: but also do this, like we're not. I feel like
Speaker 1: the generation before us and the generation before them, I
Speaker 1: feel like women were expected just to do one thing
Speaker 1: and not really expected to do maybe what they love,
Speaker 1: you know, give upon their dreams when they have kids
Speaker 1: or whatever. And I think that's so such a beautiful
Speaker 1: story that your parents continue to do what they love.
Speaker 2: And no, no, Ma Manal, she give up dreams?
Speaker 1: What not?
Speaker 2: My mother?
Speaker 1: But you know what, it's interesting because I feel like
Speaker 1: the thought in previous generations was that that's selfish, but
Speaker 1: it's actually not. It's self full. And I heard that
Speaker 1: one time and I thought, that's such an interesting quote,
Speaker 1: and then I applied it to just my life that
Speaker 1: I've heard in my life.
Speaker 2: And I said, whoa, that's so true.
Speaker 1: Like thinking back to when you know, my mom was
Speaker 1: a flight attendant for many years for UR Jamaica, and
Speaker 1: that was like something where she's always traveling and we
Speaker 1: were always traveling. So traveling is like a big part
Speaker 1: of how I grew up. And I've just phone like, man,
Speaker 1: my parents are so weird, like don't have the you know,
Speaker 1: I just thought they were so strange. They have a
Speaker 1: nine to five like everybody.
Speaker 2: They know, and I feel like that is such an
Speaker 2: important thing that people may not always appreciate about the other.
Speaker 2: So let me see how I can how I can
Speaker 2: get my thoughts to make sense. I feel like we
Speaker 2: may have grown up in spaces wondering, well, how come
Speaker 2: my mom can't be here for this thing, because you know,
Speaker 2: in your casion, she's probably working a flight or she's
Speaker 2: just she's not there. She doesn't have a nine to five,
Speaker 2: But my friend's mom is always there. And then on
Speaker 2: the other side, your friends may be looking at you
Speaker 2: and saying, oh my godsh she's his mom is just
Speaker 2: so cool, you know, every time she has and she
Speaker 2: calls my friends love my mom, like all of them.
Speaker 2: And I just feel like there's such a missed We
Speaker 2: just don't know what we're missing, right, so we would
Speaker 2: maybe have missed structure of some sort. And then other
Speaker 2: people look at us and we're like, well, you have
Speaker 2: the best of this, And I think it shapes how
Speaker 2: we decide want to live. We either go all out
Speaker 2: and we follow in that same pattern, or we go
Speaker 2: in the a full one eighty and we're like, no,
Speaker 2: this costed me way too much and I will not
Speaker 2: repeat this kind of thing. That's one. And then the
Speaker 2: other thought I have is to your point of generations before,
Speaker 2: it makes me curious about if women like our mothers
Speaker 2: lived with guilt for doing that thing and chasing after
Speaker 2: their dreams in a society where the norm was and
Speaker 2: the next tan still is that they must be grounded,
Speaker 2: punintended right, and they must just you know, well, you
Speaker 2: should be a mother and you should cook and clean
Speaker 2: and take care of da I do now wonder how
Speaker 2: much guilt they may have had chasing this life that
Speaker 2: inspires us, not knowing that they were going to inspire
Speaker 2: us and just maybe wondering, Okay, well I'm going to
Speaker 2: be judged for this because I am not in the
Speaker 2: house taking care of my husband and my children and
Speaker 2: the way that I'm supposed to, you know what I mean? Right? Right? No,
Speaker 2: that's so true.
Speaker 1: And I think that that kind of goes back to
Speaker 1: what we were talking about earlier as far as like
Speaker 1: everything having a cost, right, because.
Speaker 2: I look at it is if they were.
Speaker 1: To say, you know what, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: because you know, what has us Caribbean people in a
Speaker 1: choke hold is what people are going.
Speaker 2: To think, right.
Speaker 1: List, So well, unless you're unless you're our mothers, obviously
Speaker 1: they don't care. But you know, for the most part,
Speaker 1: that's usually what people care about. So if you look
Speaker 1: at it like that, it's like, what would the cost
Speaker 1: have been to them, as women that were our age
Speaker 1: or younger, you know, to give up on their dreams
Speaker 1: and say, let me just do it because I don't
Speaker 1: want to hear from this one and anti so and
Speaker 1: so and just do.
Speaker 2: What they want me to do.
Speaker 1: They would be so resentful. I think, yeah, never know
Speaker 1: because you know that route, but I think they would
Speaker 1: be very resentful.
Speaker 2: I think it comes out at the cost, at what costs.
Speaker 2: So I'm chasing the life of my dreams at what costs. Well,
Speaker 2: maybe I'm not going to be cooking three times listen
Speaker 2: and my big age my mother still don't cook a week.
Speaker 2: I will see it now, we big you have to
Speaker 2: beg her mommy, please cook to a little oxtail. Mommy,
Speaker 2: please curry mummy. I have beg your you know. And
Speaker 2: then what I was really going to say is, I
Speaker 2: think the resentment does come out you. I do feel
Speaker 2: like you see it, whether it's in being judged. So
Speaker 2: women who may not have been courageous enough to be
Speaker 2: rebels and make those choices, and not that it's right
Speaker 2: or wrong or good or bad. It's just they did
Speaker 2: what they were able to and what they felt they
Speaker 2: needed to. But that envy shows up for other women
Speaker 2: in other spaces and then and then it shows up
Speaker 2: in the way that they may have raised their families
Speaker 2: or may have approached it. And so I've seen it
Speaker 2: as well, and TV shows have it too. You become
Speaker 2: everything to your family, and then that kind of feeds
Speaker 2: into the self sacrifice. Right, So if all I'm able
Speaker 2: to be is a mom, then I'm going to be
Speaker 2: that to the thousandth degree at the cost of my
Speaker 2: sanity or my boundaries, or raising children who can do
Speaker 2: things for themselves or taken care of a husband. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I'm allowed to say these things, but
Speaker 2: you know, I extend myself so much because it's all
Speaker 2: I know, because I didn't have the space to chase
Speaker 2: after my own dreams and to figure out who I
Speaker 2: wanted to become. Mmmmm, yeah, m hm. And I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 2: we keep seeing it, so we don't, you know, and
Speaker 2: we're like, oh, life now starts. I am embracing and
Speaker 2: loving how women in their fifties and in their sixties
Speaker 2: they may have lost their husband, right, and it's almost
Speaker 2: like this switch goes off in their heads. Wait a minute,
Speaker 2: I can I can start over. I can live life again. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and all of that coming down into the conversations of
Speaker 2: generations before hours did not feel like they could have
Speaker 2: done those things.
Speaker 1: We have to talk about Marshall's Tiny Desk performance. I'm
Speaker 1: still not over it. I thought it was an absolute
Speaker 1: game changer for SOCA, and you know, I think it
Speaker 1: really because they had Shampaul before. And I want to
Speaker 1: say some other reggae artists I can't remember, but specifically Soca, right,
Speaker 1: it was shaggy.
Speaker 2: It was shaggy.
Speaker 1: Okay, specifically Soca. I feel like it showed the world
Speaker 1: that Soca isn't just party music, you know, because he's
Speaker 1: such an incredible musician. I love that he showed the
Speaker 1: art form, you know, with depth and culture and meaning
Speaker 1: and the whole like call and response and that whole thing.
Speaker 2: I just thought it was so basically done. I really
Speaker 2: wanted to.
Speaker 1: Cry, and as a bad guy, I don't cry, you know, But.
Speaker 2: I'm joking. I'm joking, but I really felt like emotional
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't know if I wanted to like chair
Speaker 1: or get on bad. It was very confusing. There was
Speaker 1: so many So I just want to know if he
Speaker 1: saighed and how you felt about it, because I'm sure
Speaker 1: as a trainey at that you are very excited.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you, I have tased in my eyes
Speaker 2: and goosebumps as I just think about it. Yeah, there
Speaker 2: is a sense of national pride that runs even more
Speaker 2: deeply as a result of seeing Marshall on tiny desk. Okay,
Speaker 2: got the I don't think that's a bad yeah, because
Speaker 2: I have come here and actually up. Okay, the pride,
Speaker 2: the pride, the pride, and then of course you know,
Speaker 2: being training and knowing Marshall and loving my culture and
Speaker 2: love Carnival and not just the mass aspect but all
Speaker 2: of the aspects. Of course, you know, this is my
Speaker 2: shameless plug for Culture Shock Season two that we're doing
Speaker 2: myself on one of my colleagues in media, literally exploring
Speaker 2: the culture with a focus on Carnival for these these
Speaker 2: first couple of seasons. And so anyway, so loving Marshall
Speaker 2: and appreciating the legend that he that he is right
Speaker 2: from singing Calypso Too Young to Soka to making it
Speaker 2: to NPR, the pride is like none other. I think
Speaker 2: for most trainees, even if you weren't a Marshall fan
Speaker 2: or aren't a Marshall fan, you could appreciate what he
Speaker 2: did and you could.
Speaker 1: Appreciate every everybody's not a Marshall fan.
Speaker 2: I don't want to. I'm not trying to starting people
Speaker 2: like I'm not trying to start No Island War. So
Speaker 2: I continue Island was and that's okay, right, but there
Speaker 2: you know, even if you don't love love his music,
Speaker 2: you could definitely appreciate. Wow, this is what he's done.
Speaker 2: This is he's He's chosen this thing. And then seeing
Speaker 2: musicians that I know be his musicians, the drummer and
Speaker 2: the person on guitar, and you're like, these are these
Speaker 2: are people that walk on through tomorrow is a hug
Speaker 2: up and how you're going and just putting our place
Speaker 2: on the map. And also to know that you know,
Speaker 2: because the last tiny desk that I looked at before
Speaker 2: Marshall Zone was Billie Eilish. Oh okay, I love Billy Eilish.
Speaker 2: You're talking about music. I just haunted in a beautiful
Speaker 2: way by her music and just the raw emotion that
Speaker 2: she comes with. And so that was the last one
Speaker 2: that I looked at from start to finish, and I
Speaker 2: was like, wow, you know, Billy has done so much
Speaker 2: for herself at such a young age. And then boom,
Speaker 2: Marshall drop a tiny desk. What do you mean, Marshall,
Speaker 2: what do you mean? And then yeah, I wasn't ready.
Speaker 2: I was not ready, And then I think I was
Speaker 2: not ready. I felt full at the end of it,
Speaker 2: but I felt incomplete. I'm like, no, this is done.
Speaker 2: Why is it done? There needs to be more? Please Okay.
Speaker 2: I was like, this was so quick. The party just
Speaker 2: can't done write that, like what you doing? That was no,
Speaker 2: it was amazing, such an amazing move. And now I'm
Speaker 2: just curious to see who else is going on, because
Speaker 2: I'm tell you, when chess decide, he went on, oh okay.
Speaker 1: Hello or hellomm no, that is going to be something.
Speaker 2: Else, write President of the Redman Association, going to the
Speaker 2: people on them NPR, Tiny Desk and and he's incredible.
Speaker 2: He's grown so much on his presence is ridiculous now.
Speaker 2: And I mean and he and Marshall represent two different
Speaker 2: sides of the genre of soka but still doing so
Speaker 2: many a mea marshallist power and alle casses, not that
Speaker 2: he can't do power songs. He won Road March in
Speaker 2: twenty twenty with Stage Gone Bad alongside Iowa George. And
Speaker 2: I think it's because of who Iowa George is as
Speaker 2: an artist or in himself, the hypepond, the crowd casses,
Speaker 2: no Bunchie casses, no Bunie. You understand CA's God sing,
Speaker 2: CA's good Arold sing. And at the same time, when
Speaker 2: I think of what Tiny Desk could be, Marshall doing
Speaker 2: what he did hypenny crowd, but still realizing that is
Speaker 2: not a whole fat but it felt like you were enough. Fact,
Speaker 2: it was so confusing, and.
Speaker 1: That just shows you, like he's just incredible musicianship, and
Speaker 1: you know he's been doing this since he was a child,
Speaker 1: so like this is like second nature to him.
Speaker 2: And even Relicious, Oh yeah, perform easy, easy, easy, peasy.
Speaker 2: I just I really just wish there could have been more.
Speaker 2: We want more and engagement they definitely was there. He's
Speaker 2: paved the way for sure. I don't even for sure
Speaker 2: for sure, I don't even think there was any other
Speaker 2: artist that I have seen on Tiny Desk that had
Speaker 2: such amazing crowd response, like pan out to the audience
Speaker 2: like there's a day.
Speaker 1: When I was watching it, I thought to myself, I
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever seen the audience before. Now I
Speaker 1: will say I have not watched every Tiny Desk, so
Speaker 1: nobody come for me if you have and they've done
Speaker 1: it before. But I literally had that same thought when
Speaker 1: they showed everybody with the flags and everything, I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I don't think I've ever seen the
Speaker 1: audience before.
Speaker 2: For sure they did it. That's a point, So I
Speaker 2: will tell you right, Tiny desks juvenile because millennials juveniles. Tiny.
Speaker 2: That's was really nice. I enjoyed it a lot, and well,
Speaker 2: of course a show for me was fantastic. Yeah, that
Speaker 2: was a good one too, so you know, and even then,
Speaker 2: you know, you see that they are people, right, but
Speaker 2: the kind of energy and that just encapsulates I think
Speaker 2: everything that soca is to us as a Caribbean people,
Speaker 2: and well to me as a Traine, it just Soca
Speaker 2: to the bone, Carnival in the bones. Everything about it
Speaker 2: is just so secret and so special. Yeah, yes, definitely.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what I just thought of the other
Speaker 1: reggae artists, it was Chronics.
Speaker 2: Chronics is ridiculous. He is so amazing. Yeah, and he's
Speaker 2: actually like such a show. That's always helpful, you know, always,
Speaker 2: always always so Tiny Desks.
Speaker 1: If you can't watch it, match it, yes you have.
Speaker 1: If anyone has not watched that, you have to watch it,
Speaker 1: like honestly, like now, like yesterday, so right right now,
Speaker 1: well no, after this episode, don't the episode yet, yeah,
Speaker 1: but speaking of that, right, so on the heels of
Speaker 1: the Tiny Desk performance, and like you said, if Kats
Speaker 1: gets on there, it's over done. But like just opening
Speaker 1: the door for so many artists. Right we have to
Speaker 1: talk about the women, and right now, one of my
Speaker 1: favorites is Nyla Blackman.
Speaker 2: I love her because I.
Speaker 1: Feel like she's she's bringing something like fresh and unique
Speaker 1: to Soca and to just the Caribbean music scene as
Speaker 1: a whole. And I feel like when I see like
Speaker 1: her poster, you know, just whatever she she comes up with,
Speaker 1: videos or whatever the case may be, it's so evident
Speaker 1: that she has amazing work ethic, like Beyonce esque, you know,
Speaker 1: like very very amazing work ethic. And I love that
Speaker 1: she has her own sound and her you know, she
Speaker 1: has this unique blend of like traditional Soca mixed with
Speaker 1: kind of modern sounds, and I love that she's not
Speaker 1: afraid to experiment, you know what I mean. And I
Speaker 1: think that is what sets her apart, that she's not
Speaker 1: trying to like fit into a box or she's just
Speaker 1: creating her own lane, which which I admire. Like we
Speaker 1: talked about before, I think that's just such an important trait,
Speaker 1: especially with Soca being more male Dominminan. You know, you
Speaker 1: having that boldness and willingness to break the mold is
Speaker 1: so important. So who would you say, is one of
Speaker 1: your favorite women in Soca?
Speaker 2: Ant to that just shortly, I can't not talk about
Speaker 2: the culture that we have and why Nyla has been
Speaker 2: so successful. I agree. When Nyla first started, she did
Speaker 2: not start singing Soca. Oh really her? So she is gosh,
Speaker 2: I hope I'm getting this one right off the top
Speaker 2: of my head. She is the grand child of RASHORTII,
Speaker 2: who is the pioneer for us with soka. Right. He
Speaker 2: was the person who decided that, or not decided. He
Speaker 2: got up one day and he fused these gens and
Speaker 2: what we know are souka or the evolution of it
Speaker 2: started within her bloodline. But her and her family, this
Speaker 2: most of her other family, and you can look it
Speaker 2: up in Marge black Man, Isaac Blackman. They're all family.
Speaker 2: They sing very soul roots rock reggaeish almost kind of energy.
Speaker 2: That's when Nyla started, correct, That's right, And then she
Speaker 2: crossed over into Soca. So I feel like her whole
Speaker 2: pathway is, as you say, beyond sask like she was
Speaker 2: legendary just because of where she started. And I think
Speaker 2: that fear or that lack of fear that she has
Speaker 2: the fearlessness to show up in this space and experiment
Speaker 2: comes from her being a woman that has experimented for most,
Speaker 2: if not all, of her career, like from you know,
Speaker 2: exploding onto the scene. So she's able to be comfortable
Speaker 2: trying new things while still yeah, while still having her
Speaker 2: sound right. And it's funny because I could say it
Speaker 2: saying it's in big. Her voice is something that we've
Speaker 2: had to get used to as a For me, I've
Speaker 2: had to get people and they were mashmupenee comments. But
Speaker 2: for me and someone who's grown up in music, it
Speaker 2: was hard at first to appreciate Nyla's voice. And then
Speaker 2: she's I'm telling you. And then as she evolved and
Speaker 2: she tried new things, and then ironically her manager whose producer,
Speaker 2: I know him, like we grew up together. He came
Speaker 2: lining in my house during vocation and playing piano, wanting
Speaker 2: like it's crazy, just that closeness to the certain people
Speaker 2: in the industry anyway. So yeah, so her now manager
Speaker 2: and son, he and producer before, they've just experiment and
Speaker 2: what we know now or what we see now of
Speaker 2: Nyla is just the beginning. And now you know, she's
Speaker 2: gone and she's signed on to uh this international US
Speaker 2: label and so it's just opening doors for so Nyla
Speaker 2: is carving her path and she's doing it so well
Speaker 2: for herself. It's my respect big up every little way
Speaker 2: that she's maintaining her individuality. So Nyla is definitely there.
Speaker 2: But for me, not the answer the question. My yeaersonal
Speaker 2: favorite SOCCA artists that's a woman is deshtraa Ceo.
Speaker 1: Oh I love her.
Speaker 2: Too because the woman could sing oh good, oh yeah, yes,
Speaker 2: I can never forget. I'm an affect, I am sweaty.
Speaker 2: I have just wan on to be grown. Because she's
Speaker 2: singing was a trembleet or something? Right? She comes full
Speaker 2: circle the song set changes and belting out note for
Speaker 2: note Whitney Houston, I will always love you. Come on
Speaker 2: what I'm telling you? Come on? That was? I mean
Speaker 2: that beautifully And for me, there is no other to date,
Speaker 2: I'm not heard. I've not seen other SOCA artists, female
Speaker 2: SOCA artists that can do what Destra does. I just
Speaker 2: hands down. I love Destra's her talent For me is
Speaker 2: nobody is touching her, not a Fean, not a Nila.
Speaker 2: I love Nadia Batson but vocally and that gift that
Speaker 2: Destra has had hands down my favorite, hands down. Wow
Speaker 2: Wow that was crazy. That was crazy. She now wind
Speaker 2: up problems on the stage and then stops and the
Speaker 2: crowd a little bit and saying, Whitney Houston, well, we
Speaker 2: love your certility. So that's l and I really think that, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's that's probably one of one of the biggest reasons
Speaker 2: why no one else has been able to to top that.
Speaker 2: For me, I love I love them all, appreciate every
Speaker 2: bit of contribution that they make and the laine that
Speaker 2: they said, because Nadia is a powerhouse by herself. She's
Speaker 2: written songs before she became mainstream and the artist that
Speaker 2: we know, she's a songwriter. You know, for Terce would
Speaker 2: have singing Calypso. My little sister sang in competition with
Speaker 2: her all of those years ago in Calypso. And when
Speaker 2: Patrice became after she became the junior Monarch, she decided,
Speaker 2: you know, she really wanted to go into that space
Speaker 2: and metter with Marsha and some of her first big
Speaker 2: hits would have been collabsed with Marshall. So when a
Speaker 2: little arriven today, Loan and you're comfortable. Make sure it's
Speaker 2: stumping them. Yeah, honest, soul of stumping. Now I need
Speaker 2: to go and put on my playlist. Let me finish it, because.
Speaker 1: You're just waking uptary giving us so much history, especially me,
Speaker 1: I did not know a lot of those things, and
Speaker 1: I just want to go back a little bit. So
Speaker 1: when you explained Nylah's you know, upbringing in that whole thing,
Speaker 1: because it definitely makes everything makes sense and how I
Speaker 1: perceived her as an artist because I didn't know any
Speaker 1: of that. And one of the things you said about
Speaker 1: her voice, that's so interesting to me because I actually
Speaker 1: think that's the best thing about her.
Speaker 2: Really so distinctive. It is no, but it is five.
Speaker 1: I love that her voice is so distinct because anywhere
Speaker 1: in the world, you're going to know that it's her.
Speaker 1: And that's why I lend it to being Beyonce esque,
Speaker 1: you know, because Beyonce.
Speaker 2: Has such a.
Speaker 1: Powerholes of a voice, but just such a unique voice
Speaker 1: that you know that it's her. And even though people
Speaker 1: can try to replicate her voice and things like that,
Speaker 1: you know it's her. She doesn't sound like anybody else,
Speaker 1: and that lends to her courage in being different, right,
Speaker 1: because suppose she heard those comments, which I'm sure didn't
Speaker 1: make her feel great, because it's literally her voice, Like
Speaker 1: she can't do anything about it, you know. It's not like, oh,
Speaker 1: we don't like the way she dresses, and then maybe
Speaker 1: she can get a different stylist, Like it's literally her trichia,
Speaker 1: Like she can't change it.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: But I suppose she had the mindset like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: nobody likes my voice. Let me just pack it up
Speaker 1: because I can't do anything about it, she continued, And basically,
Speaker 1: in my view, is saying like, oh, you guys are
Speaker 1: gonna love this voice. Don't worry, like you'll catch on.
Speaker 1: I actually know who I am, but now you have
Speaker 1: to catch on. And I think that just makes me
Speaker 1: love her even more because like, I love stories like
Speaker 1: that where people didn't like you or get you or
Speaker 1: thought this of you, and know everyone is seeing like
Speaker 1: really who you are and what you have within you.
Speaker 1: Because although she has all of that in her background,
Speaker 1: I think what people don't understand is that when you
Speaker 1: come from a family that has already made it, let's say,
Speaker 1: per se in the industry, right, has already made your
Speaker 1: mark in the industry, it's actually more difficult to make
Speaker 1: your mark.
Speaker 2: I think people have that individual Yeah, the individuality. People
Speaker 2: think that it makes it easier.
Speaker 1: Now granted, I'm sure it in a sense I can
Speaker 1: attest to you have more like connections or maybe people
Speaker 1: you can talk to. But I heard one of the
Speaker 1: Marley sons say this. I can't remember which one, but
Speaker 1: a lot of people used to tell them like, oh,
Speaker 1: you only get this because you're a Marley, or you
Speaker 1: only get that because you're a Marley's something that really
Speaker 1: resonated with me. He said, Yes, that might get me
Speaker 1: in the door, but in order for the person to
Speaker 1: want to work with me or to keep me in
Speaker 1: the building that I'm walking into, I have to bring
Speaker 1: something like I have to have a talent.
Speaker 2: Like something more than just my And I almost feel
Speaker 2: like it's hard because I mean, come on, we're talking
Speaker 2: about the Bob Marley who is my birthday twin. But
Speaker 2: that's okay, And you know, there's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2: I feel like there's just so much pressure to be
Speaker 2: to have a name. There is power in a name,
Speaker 2: you know. So you hear a name like the Blackman family,
Speaker 2: and off the bat, they're like, well, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: you have to understand, you have to know about I
Speaker 2: do think that that is something important. And then as
Speaker 2: you were talking about just Nyla's distinct sound, and it's true,
Speaker 2: no one else has a voice like she does. Hate
Speaker 2: it or love it or get accustomed to it. It's
Speaker 2: it is distinct. But I feel like she just had
Speaker 2: that trust in herself. She just said, I'm going to
Speaker 2: do the amazing what I'm going to do regardless, and
Speaker 2: you're just gonna have to adjust. And if that's not
Speaker 2: a lesson for all of us, okay, I don't really
Speaker 2: know what is. So that's amazing. I love that, love
Speaker 2: love that.
Speaker 1: But thank you for sharing that with myself and with
Speaker 1: the audience for sure.
Speaker 2: Of course I do love learning about anything, my culture especially,
Speaker 2: And so who knew that me appreciating these things would
Speaker 2: come back around folks to culture and so light and
Speaker 2: maybe a horriblement or something to inspire some else too.
Speaker 2: Go do some reading, go do some digging. It's it's
Speaker 2: all there.
Speaker 1: And that concludes this week's episode. Stay tuned for part two,
Speaker 1: when we'll discuss the influence of Caribbean women in the
Speaker 1: beauty industry and all things Bacanal or Carnival for those
Speaker 1: that are not so familiar, don't forget to leave us
Speaker 1: a five star rating. If you enjoyed this episode and
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Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcast, and on Instagram. Remember life
Speaker 1: is too short to live with regret, so go after
Speaker 1: your dreams with everything you have. Stop waiting for permission.
Speaker 1: You know you have everything that you need inside to succeed,
Speaker 1: and the fear won't disappear, but you can work with it.
Speaker 1: You can work through it, and that is what's important.
Speaker 1: Keep living fearlessly and fabulously and just press play