WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to season three of the Let's Talk the Things Podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Can you believe it's season three?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I can't.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like we just started two seconds ago.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, I know what you're saying. It's been a while.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, I know. Just think of me as the

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<v Speaker 1>human version of mild but my reach. If you're listening

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<v Speaker 1>to the podcast on Apple Podcast, please remember to rate

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<v Speaker 1>and leave a comment below. Also, don't forget to follow

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<v Speaker 1>us on Instagram at Let's Talk the Things. Now, grab

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<v Speaker 1>your tea, coffee, or a glass of wine and Let's

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<v Speaker 1>talk the Things. Hello everyone, Welcome back to the Let's

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<v Speaker 1>Talk the Things podcast, where we discuss person no growth, travel,

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<v Speaker 1>music and wellness while encouraging you to live fearlessly and fabulously.

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<v Speaker 1>I am your host, Ash and this week we are

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<v Speaker 1>talking the things with a true powerhost in the Trinidadian

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<v Speaker 1>media scene, media personality, host and broadcaster at Trinidad's number

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<v Speaker 1>one hit music station Hot ninety three, Kemba Joe Hi kJ.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you wow for me? It's you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm just eating your accolade. It's not me a promise.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh. I am so humbled and so glad to be

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<v Speaker 2>on here with you and sharing in this space. As

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<v Speaker 2>I was telling you, you know, full fun girl moman

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<v Speaker 2>to that I get to share in the Yeah, let's

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<v Speaker 2>talk the things, all things wonderful things about life. And

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<v Speaker 2>you went back through when your lil intro there and

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<v Speaker 2>these are all things that I love. So I am

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<v Speaker 2>get up for an amazing conversation with you today.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm very excited to have you, so thanks for being here.

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<v Speaker 1>So I know you're an avid listener, but for our

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<v Speaker 1>new listeners, they wouldn't know. I begin each episode with

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<v Speaker 1>our listener's favorite segments. You're laughing already, so you guys

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<v Speaker 1>know it's good.

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<v Speaker 2>She's laughing scared.

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<v Speaker 1>Upright, and it's called that Nason safe. So what I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to do is read messages or social media posts

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<v Speaker 1>that listeners sent in, and if you think it sounds

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<v Speaker 1>crazy or a bit concerning, you would respond that nasounds

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<v Speaker 1>safe and explain why, and if you agree, you say

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<v Speaker 1>you agree and explain why.

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<v Speaker 2>Sounds good? Okay, sounds good? All right?

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<v Speaker 1>First one someone asked what's your toxic trait?

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<v Speaker 2>And the person.

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<v Speaker 1>Replied, I show up for people who don't even show

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<v Speaker 1>up for themselves, and then wonder why I'm doing all

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<v Speaker 1>the heavy lifting.

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<v Speaker 2>That not songs safe but right because it is, and

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<v Speaker 2>everyone's throwing around they would, right, it's start codependency out there.

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<v Speaker 2>It is a toxic trait more for the person who's

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<v Speaker 2>overextending themselves because the more you give and give, and yes,

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<v Speaker 2>we're called to love and we're called to you know,

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<v Speaker 2>bleed ourselves for the people we care for, really and truly,

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<v Speaker 2>at some point it's you're gonna kill yourself, right, and

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<v Speaker 2>the pain and the worry of not having that person

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<v Speaker 2>reciprocate that not song safe, take care yourself first, absolutely, absolutely.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think that as women, a lot of times

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<v Speaker 1>we are socialized to overextend, right, girl, and especially in

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<v Speaker 1>our culture, right in Caribbean culture, that's what we're socialized

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<v Speaker 1>to do. Like we're expected to give our all, to

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<v Speaker 1>give our last dollar, to give all of our energy,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, when we have family or are married or

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<v Speaker 1>have kids, to just focus on them.

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<v Speaker 2>And of course, and nothing is wrong with going the

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<v Speaker 2>extra miles for these people that we care to what costs? So, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>what is today? Is it Sunday at church?

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's true, it's true, and I remember I forgot

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<v Speaker 1>where I heard it, but basically the fact that everything

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<v Speaker 1>has a cost, right, So when you make any decision

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<v Speaker 1>in life, you have to think, like, what is this

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<v Speaker 1>costing me?

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<v Speaker 2>Number one?

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<v Speaker 1>And like you said earlier, and I think that was

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<v Speaker 1>so well said, it's really the person over extending that's toxic.

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<v Speaker 1>I think a lot of times when we've been in

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<v Speaker 1>those positions of over extending, you think like, why is

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<v Speaker 1>this person not you know, reciprocating or how could they

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<v Speaker 1>not see I'm so great and I've done all these things,

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<v Speaker 1>but that's not their job. If you do something right

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<v Speaker 1>and you see that it's not appreciated and you continue

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<v Speaker 1>to do it, I mean, that's not come on, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 2>Dan a right, and you're absolutely right. So I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>as you get sex for a little bit, that is

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<v Speaker 2>actually something that I've been teaching my son. So I

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<v Speaker 2>have a son preteen age at this stage, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not trying to make the decisions for him as much

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<v Speaker 2>as I'm trying to help him understand this is the

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<v Speaker 2>cost of this thing that you want to do. So, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>you want to play video games and not go to

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<v Speaker 2>bed at a decent hour. Sure, what's the cost of

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<v Speaker 2>the decision of you staying up late and not going

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<v Speaker 2>to bed, and how will you pay for it the

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<v Speaker 2>next day? Do we have an early start? Do you

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<v Speaker 2>have to you know, not be completely zonked out on

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<v Speaker 2>a screen? At what cost? I say that with my

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<v Speaker 2>employees as much as I'm in media as well. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>corporate is the beginning of my entire career and it's

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<v Speaker 2>just played a role in everything that I do. And

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<v Speaker 2>that's something that I tell my employees as well. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>so you made this decision at what cost? Right? Or

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<v Speaker 2>you're going to do this thing? My friends, people that

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<v Speaker 2>I care for sure, go ahead and do this thing,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, at what cost? And I feel like when

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<v Speaker 2>we start asking ourselves that question, I could do this

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<v Speaker 2>footyboot At what cost? Am I robbing them of their

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<v Speaker 2>own accountability? Am I keeping them from learning the lesson

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<v Speaker 2>that they perhaps need to learn? And at what cost?

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm with you, absolutely, absolutely no, that's for sure.

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<v Speaker 1>That's definitely something to think about and maybe something that

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<v Speaker 1>people can take with them this year. You know, as

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<v Speaker 1>far as I know, it's still early in the year

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<v Speaker 1>and everyone's deciding like what their goals are still or

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<v Speaker 1>maybe what their.

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<v Speaker 2>Word is for the year.

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<v Speaker 1>Because the way January has been going, I want to

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<v Speaker 1>do over February first, but that's another another time.

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<v Speaker 2>Listen, I'm giving myself till April because the real New

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<v Speaker 2>Year is when spring time. Right, That's true, That's true.

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<v Speaker 1>I would have to agree with you on that for sure.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, the next.

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<v Speaker 1>One, what has been someone's ride or die gotten you?

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<v Speaker 1>Besides writing and energetically dying? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>I agree? Yeah, what has it costed? What? Tell me again?

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<v Speaker 2>I think you blow me your way and got the

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<v Speaker 2>phrasing right. Yes, what has it cost me? Being the writer?

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<v Speaker 2>What are you saying?

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<v Speaker 1>What has been someone's ride or die gotten you besides

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<v Speaker 1>besides just writing and energetically dying?

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<v Speaker 2>Weight loss? Look at Maga, Look at Maga, Maga and

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<v Speaker 2>not the good guy. Yes, yes, that will do it.

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<v Speaker 2>These stress of this thing. And I am loyal too.

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<v Speaker 2>I always say, if I had to talk to trade,

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<v Speaker 2>it would be loyal to Afford because when I'm in

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<v Speaker 2>your corner, I'm in your corner. I am learning that

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<v Speaker 2>I could be in your corner and you can do

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<v Speaker 2>wrong and then we get to grow through it. But

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<v Speaker 2>once upon a time, once I'm in your corner, you

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<v Speaker 2>could do no wrong, and that has definitely the ride

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<v Speaker 2>has been magavell skinny skinny, lose it. And then I

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<v Speaker 2>also think, you know, missed opportunities. And I feel like, oftentimes,

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<v Speaker 2>and maybe you relate to this as a Caribbean person,

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<v Speaker 2>we stick with the people that we care for. We

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<v Speaker 2>band together right with our friendships and our you know,

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<v Speaker 2>close knit people because you're like, well, this is the

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<v Speaker 2>threat that keeps us together. But right or die? How

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<v Speaker 2>so imagine I am not giving myself the opportunity to

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<v Speaker 2>form friendships with people, true story, because you do something

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<v Speaker 2>to my friend. I am the friend where you can't

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<v Speaker 2>break up with my friend because I pass and you

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<v Speaker 2>straight right, you've done wrong forgive me place right right?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, my I wasn't not watching now all because

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<v Speaker 2>because how are you going to my friend that? You

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean? I agree, I feel like the

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<v Speaker 2>added stress for sure, and mostly in a romantic sense

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<v Speaker 2>to being a ride or die Bonnie and Clyde, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>you just said it at what cost? Like to what

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<v Speaker 2>end am I going to do that? And I do?

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<v Speaker 2>I do agree. I definitely agree that. Yeah, we ride

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<v Speaker 2>in and then dieing energetically agree.

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<v Speaker 1>And I just feel like the ride is never quite smooth,

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<v Speaker 1>it's giving roller coaster, it's it's not it's not what

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<v Speaker 1>you think it is. But I think it's a lesson

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<v Speaker 1>that our mothers, grandmothers, you know, just in the realm

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<v Speaker 1>of women can't really tell us, you know, because I

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<v Speaker 1>know we've all been in that space where we think

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<v Speaker 1>our mothers or grandmothers specifically mothers though because that's a.

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<v Speaker 2>Little bit closer.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we feel like they weren't once our age, like

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<v Speaker 1>they were just born old, you know, like you know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's something. It's something when you're like a teenager, young

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<v Speaker 1>adult or even us being in our thirties, like you

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<v Speaker 1>think like, oh, you don't really know or that was

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<v Speaker 1>then this is no. And the world is really cyclical,

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<v Speaker 1>like it's a lot of the experiences are very similar,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, even if we're in different times.

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<v Speaker 2>So I I they used to see the old people

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<v Speaker 2>used to see yogo lu. Yeah, you go find out

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<v Speaker 2>when you're reached what I reach, you go understand and listen.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a good thing. Who though taste too much like right?

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<v Speaker 1>And it's true, Like you know, there's a saying in Jamaica,

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<v Speaker 1>who don't hear will feel, you know, and it's like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know.

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<v Speaker 2>How you go feel, We have that too. Yeah, it's

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<v Speaker 2>like you have to experience it.

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<v Speaker 1>And like you said, I used to be very much

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<v Speaker 1>like that. Like the way I initially viewed friendship was

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<v Speaker 1>that you know, this is a person you can trust,

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<v Speaker 1>and this is a person that you know, like you

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<v Speaker 1>just said, if somebody does them wrong, especially a man,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like you're done with them. But then I got

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<v Speaker 1>to realize, wait a minute, that's specific to not only

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<v Speaker 1>my culture as in being Jamaica or being Caribbean, but

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<v Speaker 1>also my family.

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<v Speaker 2>Like just what I thought, that's the family culture.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, that's the exception to the rule. And I found

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<v Speaker 1>that it was doing me a disservice because then I

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<v Speaker 1>became known as the loyal friend, the writer or die

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<v Speaker 1>if you will. But everybody else just did what they wanted.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you know I needed you, or you know

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<v Speaker 1>I had to if I needed your help for something

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<v Speaker 1>or your advice or anything, it was like, ah, she's fine,

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<v Speaker 1>Like she can handle it.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know we've lived the same life. Clearly we have.

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<v Speaker 2>Because then that almost ironically, as loyal as we are,

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<v Speaker 2>makes us replaceable or the feeling that we're replaceable, because

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<v Speaker 2>when people believe by our actions, especially that well I

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<v Speaker 2>could do this person whatever and they will stick around,

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<v Speaker 2>then they take it. They take a idiot, and you

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<v Speaker 2>know that just does not, it's true, sit well with

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<v Speaker 2>me anymore. And it's so funny that you say that

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<v Speaker 2>I have been growing through and healing through, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>probably one of the most devastating ends of a friendship

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<v Speaker 2>that you know, I think it will go down in

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<v Speaker 2>history as the one, the one I had to learn

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<v Speaker 2>the most from, you know, and I love I still

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<v Speaker 2>love that person two pieces. I've just had to learn

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<v Speaker 2>now what that has got me in the end. So

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<v Speaker 2>all right, it's true.

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<v Speaker 1>And just to close the loop on that, I think

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<v Speaker 1>that when you've lived your life being the loyal person

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<v Speaker 1>or the writer die and you know, experienced teacheth wisdom, right,

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<v Speaker 1>so you get older and you go through things and

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<v Speaker 1>you realize, wait a minute, this is what was happening

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<v Speaker 1>or this is how this person was treating me, and

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<v Speaker 1>then you decide to you know, not do that anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>If you should say or like put yourself first, then

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<v Speaker 1>you become the villain because the person is now looking

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<v Speaker 1>at you like, wait a minute, I used to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to get away with this behavior, so why all.

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<v Speaker 2>Of a sudden.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's a very odd dynamic that somebody that has

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<v Speaker 1>maybe not been treating you the best, or you know,

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<v Speaker 1>just not being a reciprocal friend, or you know, a

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<v Speaker 1>romantic partner or a family member or whoever, they would

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<v Speaker 1>be so shocked the fact that you're putting yourself first.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, I the day, every time yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to you have every time, every time, and

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<v Speaker 2>you know what, the very first couple of times, it's

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<v Speaker 2>going to be terrible. You're gonna feel awful for doing

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<v Speaker 2>this thing. But that's the beauty of boundaries, right. The

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<v Speaker 2>more you practice that thing that is really important to you,

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<v Speaker 2>the easier it becomes over time, or it doesn't, it

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't scare you as much. You might still be scared, right, God,

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<v Speaker 2>here we go again, But that the first one will

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<v Speaker 2>will hurt, you know, hopefully you learn from it, and

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<v Speaker 2>then the other one doesn't hurt as much, and it

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<v Speaker 2>also doesn't take as much time because you're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>hold on, I've seen the way that this two on

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<v Speaker 2>two is full exactly, not twenty two. And then you

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<v Speaker 2>can either speak up earlier to resolve it, to work

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<v Speaker 2>through the conflict or realize and doesn't make sense exactly

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<v Speaker 2>exactly exactly, so it's it's burning.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know everybody takes their own individual time. So life, right,

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<v Speaker 1>that's exactly life. Indeed, all right, I'm.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so all right, so far, so good.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, a few more so the next one. I

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<v Speaker 1>am in my anti era, so please do not invite

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<v Speaker 1>me anywhere where I will not have a place to sit.

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<v Speaker 2>That song kind of unsid, Okay, you have to explain

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<v Speaker 2>that one, of course. So my initial thing was, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I a one hundred percent agree because I have to sit,

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<v Speaker 2>but don a song safe because I am also Caribbean

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<v Speaker 2>and I love Carnival, and therefore I could go off

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<v Speaker 2>fat and stunt up whole night, jump, whole night seat nothing. No,

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<v Speaker 2>it's I go on the road for two days, right right,

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<v Speaker 2>kind of a Monday and Tuesday. One of easier is

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<v Speaker 2>you're going to have to really come. I am not

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<v Speaker 2>tired at all. And then there are are the events

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<v Speaker 2>where it is who it is? What kind of please?

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<v Speaker 2>Where's the chair? My old people back is killing me?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I agree, and I'm glad you brought up carnivals,

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<v Speaker 1>because we're definitely going to talk about that. But I'm

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<v Speaker 1>with you, Like I'm known in my friend group as

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<v Speaker 1>the one that does not sit down, Like when it

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<v Speaker 1>comes to music, a dance floor, a dance floor, I

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<v Speaker 1>hate to see me coming. Okay, I need to see

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<v Speaker 1>me coming. And I've been that way since I was little,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Like I just say, I love music. I

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<v Speaker 1>love to dance. My parents love to dance. I used

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<v Speaker 1>to find it very embarrassing, but they just love get

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<v Speaker 1>it from, you know, to show I'm with you.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm with you.

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<v Speaker 1>It's kind of like teetering on the lineup. And it

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<v Speaker 1>also depends on what shoes I have on, because let

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<v Speaker 1>me tell you.

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<v Speaker 2>Girl and burning. Yeah, you have to know the right

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<v Speaker 2>tell you the right story. Listen. And you know, when

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<v Speaker 2>you're young and stupid, you want to go to the

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<v Speaker 2>club dressed to the nine. All of the millennial posts

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<v Speaker 2>about like going to the club and business.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, like.

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<v Speaker 2>Insane, insane, right, but those those pumps right, someone, I'm heeled,

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't it? I have taken my shoes off in a

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<v Speaker 2>club before I know. It's embarrassing. It's down a sound

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<v Speaker 2>safe for sure, but no, my why my toes must

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<v Speaker 2>be burning me? And so now I've learned we do

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<v Speaker 2>flat a full platform in the kind of spice girls

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<v Speaker 2>era will get you through it. And I know a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of fashionists out there will probably say terrible things

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<v Speaker 2>about this. Give me a wedge. Let me wear a

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<v Speaker 2>wedge from now until because I'll be good. I'll be

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00:17:56.039 --> 00:17:59.519
<v Speaker 2>really comfortable. You can have a good time.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I find that when you're uncomfortable, you can't really

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy yourself, you know, in any.

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<v Speaker 2>Kind of way, whether it's you shoe or the dress,

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00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:10.480
<v Speaker 2>or the environment or the energy, it's just not going

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00:18:10.519 --> 00:18:14.200
<v Speaker 2>to be. So that was a kind of innimate. I

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00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:14.839
<v Speaker 2>agree with you.

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00:18:14.839 --> 00:18:19.880
<v Speaker 1>That one, all right, Next one, I have to stop

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<v Speaker 1>letting people who are at war with themselves destroy my energy.

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<v Speaker 2>Amen, I agree one thousand percent. Tying back into you know,

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<v Speaker 2>the whole topic or the previous ones, right, So when

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<v Speaker 2>you believe that you're loyal to fold or when you

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00:18:38.200 --> 00:18:41.079
<v Speaker 2>you know, just have to be in this space with

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00:18:41.119 --> 00:18:46.519
<v Speaker 2>this person at whatever caused. Yeah, But now when I

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00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:50.839
<v Speaker 2>recognize the storm inside of somebody else, I can hold grace,

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00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:54.400
<v Speaker 2>I can hold space. I can have compassion and empathy,

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00:18:54.839 --> 00:18:57.920
<v Speaker 2>having walked through many a storm in my life. But

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00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:01.519
<v Speaker 2>there's there's a health distant and that's what a lot

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00:19:01.559 --> 00:19:04.119
<v Speaker 2>of folks tend to call a boundary, right, which is

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<v Speaker 2>the distance between myself loving me and loving you too,

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<v Speaker 2>or something to that effect. And yeah, no, please please

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00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:16.200
<v Speaker 2>stay away. That is dangerous because you're at war with yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>Anybody that tries to get closed is going to automatically

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<v Speaker 2>become the enemy in your war, because you are an

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<v Speaker 2>enemy to yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>So I agree at absolutely, And I think one of

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<v Speaker 1>the most dangerous things is envy. I think it's worse

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<v Speaker 1>than jealousy or any other type of emotion. And I

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<v Speaker 1>think when you stay around persons, particularly friends that have

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<v Speaker 1>only time and time again that they actually really don't

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<v Speaker 1>like you, And sometimes they don't even know that they

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00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:52.319
<v Speaker 1>don't like you, but you can tell by their actions

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00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:55.440
<v Speaker 1>that they have just distained for you, And if you

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00:19:55.640 --> 00:19:59.839
<v Speaker 1>continue to place yourself in their environment, that can be

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00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:04.160
<v Speaker 1>very dangerous. So you know, I'm holding space for all

337
00:20:04.200 --> 00:20:07.799
<v Speaker 1>those things, but when it gets to you seeing some

338
00:20:08.039 --> 00:20:11.839
<v Speaker 1>sign of envy in that way, I'm holding run like

339
00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:15.519
<v Speaker 1>you can run it, because you know I'm not.

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00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:19.519
<v Speaker 2>Even letting you exit. I exit must say exactly, you

341
00:20:19.559 --> 00:20:23.119
<v Speaker 2>can stay, I peep this thing, and I am gone

342
00:20:23.319 --> 00:20:27.440
<v Speaker 2>because I can what cost and that those kinds of

343
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:33.240
<v Speaker 2>situations have fueled the low self esteem or the unwithiness

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00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:36.000
<v Speaker 2>or really feeling like, well, I clearly have to be

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00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:39.799
<v Speaker 2>the problem if X y Z keeps happening. And it's

346
00:20:39.799 --> 00:20:43.359
<v Speaker 2>only when you really break free from that kind of torture,

347
00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:45.960
<v Speaker 2>because that's really what it is, and then you allow

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00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:48.559
<v Speaker 2>yourself to honor your boundaries any things that are important

349
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<v Speaker 2>to you. When people come along that are not envious

350
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<v Speaker 2>or that really do care for you, I love you,

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<v Speaker 2>you see the difference in the way that they treat you,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you feel that. So you feel that, and then.

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<v Speaker 1>You're wondering why were you suffering all this time?

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<v Speaker 2>And then you simply look at yourself with compassion and say,

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<v Speaker 2>I did the best I could have with what I knew.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know what, that's the bright and cherry answer.

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<v Speaker 1>But I found that in addition to that, or that

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<v Speaker 1>was something I got to after my first emotion was

359
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<v Speaker 1>being upset. Because once you experience like what a friendship,

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00:21:25.960 --> 00:21:28.079
<v Speaker 1>let's say, let's just stick with that, it's supposed to

361
00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:31.240
<v Speaker 1>feel like you're like, what the heck was I putting

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<v Speaker 1>up with NBC?

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<v Speaker 2>And D like what? Correct? It's not the anger for me,

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00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:42.039
<v Speaker 2>I don't know me and anger of a really interesting relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>I get sad. I just I feel a deep sense

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<v Speaker 2>of sadness more than I feel anger. I feel anger, yes,

367
00:21:50.200 --> 00:21:53.839
<v Speaker 2>but it's fleeting. There is a sadness that stays with

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<v Speaker 2>me sometimes. When I said and I realized, wow, I

369
00:21:57.279 --> 00:22:02.119
<v Speaker 2>really put up a duetition this time, there's no way.

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<v Speaker 2>And of course, you know, sitting in the sadness and

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<v Speaker 2>in the grief of because that's really kind of what

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<v Speaker 2>it is, right, it's the grief in some way, and

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<v Speaker 2>that's a dark cloud, and I mean if you sit

374
00:22:14.039 --> 00:22:17.279
<v Speaker 2>there too long it gets unhealthy as well. And then

375
00:22:17.319 --> 00:22:21.160
<v Speaker 2>you move into pharaoh skies and the rain clouds pods,

376
00:22:21.160 --> 00:22:23.480
<v Speaker 2>and then you really get to focus and love the

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00:22:23.559 --> 00:22:26.160
<v Speaker 2>fact that, at least for me, I love the fact

378
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:30.000
<v Speaker 2>that I learned. I learned something from this, and and

379
00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:32.279
<v Speaker 2>that's where it's it's a charity side of things. So

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00:22:32.440 --> 00:22:36.359
<v Speaker 2>for sure, it's the entire process, all of these odd feelings,

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00:22:36.359 --> 00:22:39.960
<v Speaker 2>the terrible stuff, what I was really doing, And then

382
00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:42.960
<v Speaker 2>you get to that with compassion, h to the other side.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right, the only wall just through absolutely only way.

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00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:48.119
<v Speaker 1>I just through absolutely and I think for me also,

385
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<v Speaker 1>I don't have any bad feelings towards that person or

386
00:22:54.119 --> 00:22:56.960
<v Speaker 1>those people like I actually feel bad for them. That's

387
00:22:57.000 --> 00:22:59.480
<v Speaker 1>so that's where I feel sad. I feel sad for

388
00:22:59.559 --> 00:23:03.400
<v Speaker 1>them because when you open your eyes and you recognize, wait,

389
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:07.839
<v Speaker 1>you only treated me this way because you likely saw

390
00:23:07.880 --> 00:23:10.279
<v Speaker 1>something in me that I didn't even see in myself.

391
00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:13.559
<v Speaker 1>So you figured that if you treated me this way,

392
00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:16.599
<v Speaker 1>what would happen what you said earlier. You're gonna get

393
00:23:16.599 --> 00:23:19.160
<v Speaker 1>low self esteem, You're gonna think, wait, something is wrong

394
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:22.559
<v Speaker 1>with me. You're chasing after this person, so you're fueling

395
00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:25.519
<v Speaker 1>their ego and their sense of importance. And then once

396
00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:28.319
<v Speaker 1>you come to the realization that waits a minute, I

397
00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:29.880
<v Speaker 1>don't have to put up with this, or I don't

398
00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:32.279
<v Speaker 1>need this, or I don't and it's like they're looking

399
00:23:32.279 --> 00:23:34.200
<v Speaker 1>at you like wait, wait, wait no, but I need

400
00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:36.759
<v Speaker 1>you to be this person. I need you to allow

401
00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:40.240
<v Speaker 1>me to pour my hate for myself onto you because

402
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:41.599
<v Speaker 1>it makes me feel good.

403
00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:42.319
<v Speaker 2>You know what I mean.

404
00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:44.839
<v Speaker 1>So it's kind of like for me, I just come

405
00:23:44.839 --> 00:23:48.039
<v Speaker 1>to a point where I'm like, whoa, I if anything,

406
00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:50.920
<v Speaker 1>and I feel bad. I feel bad for you, Like

407
00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:55.400
<v Speaker 1>I really, I really hope that you change that, you

408
00:23:55.400 --> 00:23:57.559
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean, because you're not living a full

409
00:23:57.599 --> 00:24:03.160
<v Speaker 1>life by the envy or jealous exactly or whatever you

410
00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:05.839
<v Speaker 1>are exactly. That's really sad. But like you said, it's

411
00:24:05.880 --> 00:24:07.279
<v Speaker 1>a lesson righting.

412
00:24:07.480 --> 00:24:10.839
<v Speaker 2>It is it is it And that's the only thing

413
00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:15.240
<v Speaker 2>I remember having. A friend of mine lost her brother

414
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:19.960
<v Speaker 2>tragically terrible accident and and you know, connecting with the

415
00:24:19.960 --> 00:24:23.799
<v Speaker 2>family over the month after his passing. I spoke to

416
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:27.759
<v Speaker 2>his mom while their mom and I asked her, I said,

417
00:24:27.799 --> 00:24:30.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, how are you able to get up and

418
00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:33.319
<v Speaker 2>face the day? And she said something, She's like, you

419
00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:35.839
<v Speaker 2>really have to forgive them because they know not what

420
00:24:35.880 --> 00:24:39.680
<v Speaker 2>they do. And I was like, it took a while.

421
00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:43.039
<v Speaker 2>It took years for me to really understand what she

422
00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:45.400
<v Speaker 2>meant by that. And as you were sharing just now

423
00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:49.599
<v Speaker 2>about feeling sad for them, that's the moment and it's

424
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:52.559
<v Speaker 2>almost like, Okay, wow, I feel sad, yes, And then

425
00:24:52.599 --> 00:24:56.000
<v Speaker 2>it's almost like I'll send her a positive thoughts on.

426
00:24:56.160 --> 00:25:00.799
<v Speaker 3>Positives right right, because the sadness that you have to

427
00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:05.160
<v Speaker 3>feel for yourself is huge you know, And it's not

428
00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:09.440
<v Speaker 3>about being righteous or you know, as Christians and Caribbean

429
00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:11.519
<v Speaker 3>people as well, we have to be careful.

430
00:25:11.319 --> 00:25:14.519
<v Speaker 2>With how those things can come across. And it's not

431
00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:17.559
<v Speaker 2>the I'm forgiving you to make it to heaven. There's

432
00:25:17.640 --> 00:25:21.559
<v Speaker 2>a true, true sense of compassion and a true sense

433
00:25:21.599 --> 00:25:26.440
<v Speaker 2>of healing that comes with forgiveness, whether it's for yourself

434
00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:29.559
<v Speaker 2>or whether it's for those who have wronged you. The

435
00:25:30.119 --> 00:25:34.920
<v Speaker 2>full feeling of healing to then not repeat the pattern

436
00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:40.519
<v Speaker 2>comes for me at least, has come from sitting with forgiveness.

437
00:25:40.920 --> 00:25:44.720
<v Speaker 2>They may never be sorry, but it's okay. Yeah, I'll

438
00:25:44.880 --> 00:25:45.559
<v Speaker 2>be okay.

439
00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:46.640
<v Speaker 1>It is.

440
00:25:46.880 --> 00:25:49.640
<v Speaker 2>It is, I'll be okay even if they're never sorry.

441
00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:55.079
<v Speaker 2>So Envy, jealousy, you know, not loving themselves enough. I

442
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:58.960
<v Speaker 2>am becoming their punching bag all of those things. Okay,

443
00:25:59.559 --> 00:26:01.839
<v Speaker 2>I I need to find a way to be okay

444
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:07.119
<v Speaker 2>even if they never apologize. So taken the things today?

445
00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:15.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, two more, I'm the next one. Normalize luxury in

446
00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:18.759
<v Speaker 1>your life. Suffering is not an achievement.

447
00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:26.519
<v Speaker 2>Agree, Yeah, agree, one thousand percent. Agree. Little things, it

448
00:26:26.519 --> 00:26:29.559
<v Speaker 2>could be the big things. I made a big girl

449
00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:33.240
<v Speaker 2>decision just this week. How are they letting us be

450
00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:36.240
<v Speaker 2>the adults. But some may look at it as luxury,

451
00:26:36.359 --> 00:26:38.920
<v Speaker 2>but I'm looking at it as a way to not suffer.

452
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:44.720
<v Speaker 2>So there's big things, and it's the investment in myself

453
00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:47.920
<v Speaker 2>and in my craft and in things that will help

454
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:52.240
<v Speaker 2>me to then enjoy and not have to suffer all

455
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:54.880
<v Speaker 2>unlemit tell you it is as small as at least

456
00:26:54.920 --> 00:26:59.640
<v Speaker 2>for me, simple luxuries, getting ice cream at the end

457
00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:04.160
<v Speaker 2>of hard day, right going doing my nails. Girl. I

458
00:27:04.200 --> 00:27:06.240
<v Speaker 2>don't know when I became this. I must do my

459
00:27:06.359 --> 00:27:11.839
<v Speaker 2>nails when someone puts on. I don't know when when

460
00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:15.079
<v Speaker 2>that happened, you came along. I mean, I can tell

461
00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:18.440
<v Speaker 2>you when the exact day and time. But this shift

462
00:27:19.079 --> 00:27:25.359
<v Speaker 2>and sometimes simple luxuries like that helped to reduce the suffering,

463
00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:27.880
<v Speaker 2>whether it is because the nails were not looking Rabbi

464
00:27:28.519 --> 00:27:33.279
<v Speaker 2>or the suffering of just ceiling down and outs. I agree,

465
00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:37.599
<v Speaker 2>no luxury me please, Yes, we are not suffering overhead

466
00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:44.599
<v Speaker 2>time for that day exactly. I agree. That's definitely sound safe,

467
00:27:46.359 --> 00:27:48.559
<v Speaker 2>very very safe. Okay.

468
00:27:48.599 --> 00:27:51.160
<v Speaker 1>And the last one, which I think is perfect. It

469
00:27:51.319 --> 00:27:54.759
<v Speaker 1>just kind of bring everything together that we've spoken about

470
00:27:54.759 --> 00:27:58.559
<v Speaker 1>thus far in this segment. Knowing when to leave is

471
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:03.279
<v Speaker 1>so important, the job, the party, and the relationship.

472
00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:07.839
<v Speaker 2>It's safe, I agree, save for an Selassie, I brief, chase,

473
00:28:08.039 --> 00:28:15.640
<v Speaker 2>lock it up, put it in. I can't marriage. Oh

474
00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:19.960
<v Speaker 2>it has to be, it has to be, it has

475
00:28:20.039 --> 00:28:23.480
<v Speaker 2>to be. And sometimes I don't know, tell me if

476
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:27.920
<v Speaker 2>you agree, right. Sometimes sometimes you not really know when

477
00:28:27.960 --> 00:28:31.559
<v Speaker 2>it is time, but you know when it is time.

478
00:28:31.640 --> 00:28:34.599
<v Speaker 1>Oh, yes, your body is telling you. Your body is

479
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:38.920
<v Speaker 1>telling you, but your brain, especially going back to what

480
00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:41.480
<v Speaker 1>we talked about being loyal and the whole writer Die thing,

481
00:28:41.640 --> 00:28:44.880
<v Speaker 1>is saying, well, maybe such and such didn't mean it,

482
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.960
<v Speaker 1>or maybe I'm taking it mm hmmm, or.

483
00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:52.519
<v Speaker 2>Maybe I could endure a little bit more of whatever

484
00:28:52.599 --> 00:28:55.319
<v Speaker 2>this thing is. Or I knew what I signed up

485
00:28:55.359 --> 00:28:59.200
<v Speaker 2>for when I said I will do this thing, and

486
00:28:59.319 --> 00:29:03.759
<v Speaker 2>so I'm going to do it anyway, because like my loyalty,

487
00:29:04.119 --> 00:29:09.480
<v Speaker 2>my level of commitment is sometimes too high and I

488
00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:12.279
<v Speaker 2>don't know when it's time for me to dress back

489
00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:16.680
<v Speaker 2>and say hold on, what's really going on here? And

490
00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:19.640
<v Speaker 2>enough is enough? And then the courage that it takes

491
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:22.799
<v Speaker 2>to admit that. So yeah, So you don't always there's

492
00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:25.960
<v Speaker 2>never a right time, but there is always a right time.

493
00:29:26.119 --> 00:29:30.319
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely at the same time. Absolutely, I love that perfect perfectly. Yeah,

494
00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:34.880
<v Speaker 2>oh wow, amazing. I feel like the next one if

495
00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:37.279
<v Speaker 2>I get to be to talk the things again, we

496
00:29:37.319 --> 00:29:39.839
<v Speaker 2>had to guess some more crazy to say. Nothing apart

497
00:29:39.839 --> 00:29:42.400
<v Speaker 2>from me, I think the first two or the first

498
00:29:42.440 --> 00:29:46.759
<v Speaker 2>one was really out there. Everything else has been such

499
00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:51.640
<v Speaker 2>an important part of this journey that I have been

500
00:29:51.720 --> 00:29:55.759
<v Speaker 2>on and the learning that I keep having to show

501
00:29:55.839 --> 00:29:57.880
<v Speaker 2>up in the this. You know, I can't get over

502
00:29:57.920 --> 00:30:02.319
<v Speaker 2>the introduction that you gave me, and it's you.

503
00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:06.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm just delivering it. But that's that's who you are.

504
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:09.119
<v Speaker 1>I think it's sometimes it's a beautiful thing to hear

505
00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:13.480
<v Speaker 1>other people talk about your accolades and your achievements because

506
00:30:13.720 --> 00:30:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I think, probably.

507
00:30:14.559 --> 00:30:16.880
<v Speaker 2>Don't say it to yourself. I mean, who does that

508
00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:21.079
<v Speaker 2>you know exactly? And or maybe truly I just don't

509
00:30:21.079 --> 00:30:22.920
<v Speaker 2>see it because so much of what I do in

510
00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:27.400
<v Speaker 2>this space of life, you know, media or otherwise, it's fun.

511
00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I just go in and I just have fun. And

512
00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:31.200
<v Speaker 2>I think because I go in and I have fun,

513
00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:35.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't see, yeah, what other people see. So thanks

514
00:30:35.160 --> 00:30:36.880
<v Speaker 2>my fun.

515
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:45.480
<v Speaker 1>Yes, So that was both will say, hilarious and insightful.

516
00:30:46.279 --> 00:30:49.480
<v Speaker 1>But no, it's time to really talk the things. Sure,

517
00:30:50.119 --> 00:30:53.799
<v Speaker 1>so you've built an incredible career in media, as you

518
00:30:53.839 --> 00:30:57.480
<v Speaker 1>briefly spoke about. So I wanted to know what's one

519
00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:00.880
<v Speaker 1>thing that you did early on that you could say

520
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:04.359
<v Speaker 1>or you would say it helped you push past any

521
00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:05.640
<v Speaker 1>fear of failure.

522
00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:12.720
<v Speaker 2>Hmmm mm hmmm. I'm going to quote my program director

523
00:31:12.920 --> 00:31:18.160
<v Speaker 2>at Hot ninety three, Big of War repe just press play,

524
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:24.200
<v Speaker 2>press play, get out of my head and worrying about

525
00:31:24.279 --> 00:31:27.920
<v Speaker 2>if the volume levels are right and if Mike is

526
00:31:28.039 --> 00:31:33.279
<v Speaker 2>positioned properly in the studio, and just press play. And

527
00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:36.920
<v Speaker 2>that's been something. Yeah, take action. That is the taking

528
00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:42.480
<v Speaker 2>the action. So I think for sure, yeah, doing that

529
00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:45.240
<v Speaker 2>and then if I can maybe stick in like a

530
00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:49.079
<v Speaker 2>secondary thing that has helped ask a lot of questions,

531
00:31:49.799 --> 00:31:53.119
<v Speaker 2>Just ask the questions. Sit with the pros in the space,

532
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:56.200
<v Speaker 2>the people that have been doing it for years, sit

533
00:31:56.279 --> 00:32:01.039
<v Speaker 2>at their feet, and learn from them of zoo, how

534
00:32:01.240 --> 00:32:05.240
<v Speaker 2>they have mastered their craft, and not that you want

535
00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:09.519
<v Speaker 2>to be like them, but just observe how they show

536
00:32:09.599 --> 00:32:12.400
<v Speaker 2>up in the space. And most times what I've seen

537
00:32:12.680 --> 00:32:15.799
<v Speaker 2>is imperfection. Any sense of you know, you forget to

538
00:32:15.799 --> 00:32:18.319
<v Speaker 2>press a button, not something is to a level is

539
00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:21.279
<v Speaker 2>too low, a level is too high. But they really

540
00:32:21.480 --> 00:32:25.359
<v Speaker 2>just they just press play. They just do it. I

541
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:30.279
<v Speaker 2>love that. I love that play. Yeah, that's beautiful.

542
00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:34.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I think you know, there's really no perfect moment.

543
00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:36.400
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes you just have to go for it.

544
00:32:36.680 --> 00:32:38.880
<v Speaker 2>You know, if we wait for the perfect moment, we're

545
00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:44.279
<v Speaker 2>going to be waiting on each sidelines for But that's true,

546
00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:48.039
<v Speaker 2>that nothing whatever have. That's so because the form. Let's

547
00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:50.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, to think of your podcast too. You got

548
00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:52.599
<v Speaker 2>up one day and you said, I'm doing this right.

549
00:32:53.160 --> 00:32:57.880
<v Speaker 2>How do you waited for the perfect space and location

550
00:32:58.279 --> 00:33:02.519
<v Speaker 2>and schedule for all of the episodes? It probably would

551
00:33:02.599 --> 00:33:07.000
<v Speaker 2>not be this thing that you've now curated for three seasons,

552
00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:10.799
<v Speaker 2>you know, uncounting, right, you just kind of freeze in

553
00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:13.519
<v Speaker 2>the need for perfection. But you just got up and

554
00:33:13.559 --> 00:33:16.279
<v Speaker 2>you did it. And it may not be the same

555
00:33:16.319 --> 00:33:19.400
<v Speaker 2>every single time, but you still your press play.

556
00:33:20.279 --> 00:33:22.799
<v Speaker 1>In your case, in your case, your press record literally

557
00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:23.759
<v Speaker 1>and figuratively.

558
00:33:24.039 --> 00:33:27.519
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's exactly exactly that. Yep.

559
00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:31.279
<v Speaker 1>Thinking about or I guess staying on that topic. In

560
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:35.039
<v Speaker 1>a world where so many people, especially you know as women,

561
00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:39.960
<v Speaker 1>are maybe just doubting themselves a lot, what would you

562
00:33:40.039 --> 00:33:43.279
<v Speaker 1>say to someone that's hesitant to take that first step,

563
00:33:43.319 --> 00:33:44.799
<v Speaker 1>you know, like to just press play.

564
00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:52.440
<v Speaker 2>As you said, that's a really good one. Trust in yourself,

565
00:33:54.079 --> 00:33:59.400
<v Speaker 2>Trust in yourself, trust that that you can do it,

566
00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:05.160
<v Speaker 2>whether you have the applause or not, trust in yourself,

567
00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:11.920
<v Speaker 2>and then do it. Do it imperfectly, do it, maybe

568
00:34:12.079 --> 00:34:17.159
<v Speaker 2>not as consistently, but just do it the thrill of

569
00:34:17.880 --> 00:34:23.239
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I did this thing, like I really what? Yeah,

570
00:34:23.559 --> 00:34:25.760
<v Speaker 2>that's gonna and you know what. And you may take

571
00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:29.719
<v Speaker 2>two steps and then get shy again and stop. Just

572
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:33.840
<v Speaker 2>don't go backwards. Trust yourself to stay in place, and

573
00:34:33.880 --> 00:34:38.199
<v Speaker 2>then trust yourself to take one little step again, or

574
00:34:38.559 --> 00:34:41.360
<v Speaker 2>if you really want to go big, take the leap

575
00:34:41.400 --> 00:34:44.679
<v Speaker 2>of faith. Trust yourself that you're ready to do it

576
00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:48.840
<v Speaker 2>and that you'll be enough in whatever whatever chance you take.

577
00:34:48.880 --> 00:34:51.159
<v Speaker 2>And maybe it won't work out the first time, or

578
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:54.000
<v Speaker 2>maybe it won't work out perfectly okay, and then learn

579
00:34:54.079 --> 00:34:57.480
<v Speaker 2>from it and then dush yourself off again. For first

580
00:34:57.559 --> 00:35:03.559
<v Speaker 2>you don't succeed. Hey, I was like, I don't want

581
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:04.320
<v Speaker 2>to interrupt.

582
00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:07.039
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to interrupt your flow with my foolishness.

583
00:35:07.239 --> 00:35:10.679
<v Speaker 2>Let me say I've been saying it. If at first

584
00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:13.440
<v Speaker 2>you don't succeed A Liah said it perfectly, and then

585
00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:15.679
<v Speaker 2>they are all of the other philosophical ways of saying

586
00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:19.119
<v Speaker 2>what is the same? Yeah, you know? Okay again, So

587
00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:22.400
<v Speaker 2>if your knees puts a little, you know, Ginger Violet,

588
00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:25.159
<v Speaker 2>you know the Ginger Violet Denies Poople stuff and on

589
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:28.840
<v Speaker 2>the bruise and go again. Just tiger Bomb, the Tiger

590
00:35:28.920 --> 00:35:33.039
<v Speaker 2>BOMBI whatever it is. And yeah, trust that album. My advice.

591
00:35:33.159 --> 00:35:37.719
<v Speaker 2>Trust yourself. You're capable. Yeah, I love that perfectly.

592
00:35:37.719 --> 00:35:42.360
<v Speaker 1>Well, a little music segment, speaking of music and entertainment.

593
00:35:43.599 --> 00:35:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Music and entertainment are obviously a major part of your life.

594
00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:50.559
<v Speaker 1>So how do you think music has shaped who you

595
00:35:50.599 --> 00:35:51.159
<v Speaker 1>are today?

596
00:35:51.239 --> 00:35:56.679
<v Speaker 2>It's everything, It's everything of who I am today, family history,

597
00:35:56.960 --> 00:36:01.920
<v Speaker 2>story time. My parents met in a band. Oh wow,

598
00:36:01.960 --> 00:36:07.599
<v Speaker 2>so they have that their musicians. My mom is a

599
00:36:07.639 --> 00:36:11.320
<v Speaker 2>whiz at anything with strings, just as far as I'm concerned.

600
00:36:12.679 --> 00:36:16.880
<v Speaker 2>She loves amazing on the piano and recorder, wind instrument.

601
00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:22.199
<v Speaker 2>She's just musically inclined. And my dad is a drummer.

602
00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:24.800
<v Speaker 2>So when they met in the band, my mom came

603
00:36:24.840 --> 00:36:27.599
<v Speaker 2>in to do voice and keys, and my dad was

604
00:36:27.639 --> 00:36:34.440
<v Speaker 2>a drummer. So music has Foreshore shaped every single thing

605
00:36:34.639 --> 00:36:39.039
<v Speaker 2>that I have ever known myself to do. Growing up

606
00:36:39.039 --> 00:36:42.320
<v Speaker 2>in a house with musicians. Yeah, the instruments everywhere. It's

607
00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:47.000
<v Speaker 2>a late night reheusal. My little sister when growing up,

608
00:36:47.079 --> 00:36:50.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, she would have performed in and competed in

609
00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:55.280
<v Speaker 2>collipse of competitions during carnival season. So you know, I

610
00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:58.559
<v Speaker 2>had to drag myself out, you know, from school to

611
00:36:59.079 --> 00:37:01.880
<v Speaker 2>a clipse of competition or whatever the cases. So I

612
00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:08.280
<v Speaker 2>can't ever see myself without music. It will be, I think,

613
00:37:08.320 --> 00:37:13.079
<v Speaker 2>the greatest tragedy if I were to ever attempt to

614
00:37:13.159 --> 00:37:18.000
<v Speaker 2>live life without music. It is absolutely shaped every cell

615
00:37:18.199 --> 00:37:21.239
<v Speaker 2>of who I was, who I am, and who I

616
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:25.440
<v Speaker 2>will continue to become. I love it. Well.

617
00:37:25.480 --> 00:37:27.559
<v Speaker 1>We do have a couple of things in common. That

618
00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:32.000
<v Speaker 1>is a drummer, and my dad used to play with

619
00:37:32.119 --> 00:37:37.880
<v Speaker 1>Byron Lee and the Dragonairs, Whoa and yeah, and you

620
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:40.440
<v Speaker 1>know in his in the majority of his career to

621
00:37:40.559 --> 00:37:43.079
<v Speaker 1>tend the metals and like Bob Marley and all these

622
00:37:43.119 --> 00:37:45.599
<v Speaker 1>different kinds of people. So I grew up with es

623
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:50.039
<v Speaker 1>the entire life. So what you're saying, I one hundred

624
00:37:50.079 --> 00:37:55.119
<v Speaker 1>percent resonate with that. My mom, though, is not musically incline.

625
00:37:55.920 --> 00:37:57.119
<v Speaker 2>My mom's more like.

626
00:37:57.639 --> 00:38:00.480
<v Speaker 1>Educated, has the whole heap of degrees like that type

627
00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:03.960
<v Speaker 1>of thing. So yeah, that part is not so much.

628
00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:07.000
<v Speaker 1>But my mom loves music though, so you know what

629
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:09.599
<v Speaker 1>I mean, Like, even though she doesn't play an instrument

630
00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:12.840
<v Speaker 1>or anything like that, she loves music like I Just

631
00:38:13.079 --> 00:38:16.199
<v Speaker 1>like I told you earlier, both my parents loved dancing.

632
00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:19.440
<v Speaker 2>So either way, music was always around me.

633
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:22.000
<v Speaker 1>So whether it was hearing you know, the band my

634
00:38:22.079 --> 00:38:25.039
<v Speaker 1>dad was in, or just being in the car with

635
00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:27.679
<v Speaker 1>my mom or you know, going to different functions with

636
00:38:27.719 --> 00:38:29.840
<v Speaker 1>her and they're playing music. That's where I get it

637
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:32.119
<v Speaker 1>from because my mom does not know how to sit down.

638
00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:35.599
<v Speaker 2>She's the entire time I have these same parents. So

639
00:38:35.639 --> 00:38:38.079
<v Speaker 2>as much as you know my parents met in a band,

640
00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:42.800
<v Speaker 2>my mom was a primary school teacher for just shy

641
00:38:42.840 --> 00:38:46.519
<v Speaker 2>of about forty years. She only recently retired. Yeah, that's right,

642
00:38:46.719 --> 00:38:51.920
<v Speaker 2>and she's just as much all of those things, you know,

643
00:38:52.039 --> 00:38:56.280
<v Speaker 2>teaching and additional certifications and degrees, and then decided, you know,

644
00:38:56.559 --> 00:39:00.840
<v Speaker 2>she was going to go get her official degree music

645
00:39:01.159 --> 00:39:03.920
<v Speaker 2>and that open door she went and got certified to do.

646
00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:10.800
<v Speaker 2>Was it dyslexia? Is that something with dyslexia, and so

647
00:39:10.840 --> 00:39:14.599
<v Speaker 2>she learned how to identify children with special needs in

648
00:39:14.639 --> 00:39:18.360
<v Speaker 2>that way with learning challenges. She's done it all and

649
00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:20.360
<v Speaker 2>she music is still at the core of everything that

650
00:39:20.400 --> 00:39:24.519
<v Speaker 2>she's done. And I have vivid memories and it's only

651
00:39:24.559 --> 00:39:27.679
<v Speaker 2>as you mentioned, you know, your dad's own journey. I've

652
00:39:27.719 --> 00:39:30.960
<v Speaker 2>been in a studio with my godfather, who is you know,

653
00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:34.599
<v Speaker 2>also a prominent musician and stuff in Trinidad, and he

654
00:39:35.480 --> 00:39:38.199
<v Speaker 2>I have memories of being in the studio and there

655
00:39:38.199 --> 00:39:40.920
<v Speaker 2>are certain songs that I hate and it takes me

656
00:39:41.039 --> 00:39:46.079
<v Speaker 2>back to I can smell the you know, the cushion

657
00:39:46.119 --> 00:39:49.280
<v Speaker 2>walls in a recording studio. How it's the sponge. I

658
00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:55.119
<v Speaker 2>can smell the sponge if I hear certain songs or

659
00:39:55.159 --> 00:39:57.480
<v Speaker 2>you know, you go all these years later you meet people, Oh,

660
00:39:57.519 --> 00:39:59.519
<v Speaker 2>you know this is my daughter. You remember when we

661
00:39:59.599 --> 00:40:03.760
<v Speaker 2>would and she was under the table. Now my new

662
00:40:03.960 --> 00:40:08.719
<v Speaker 2>Isagela like to sleep, so we have to be outlked,

663
00:40:08.960 --> 00:40:13.360
<v Speaker 2>no problem. I am going to write sleeping when I

664
00:40:13.440 --> 00:40:16.280
<v Speaker 2>have to wait. And you know, the memory that is

665
00:40:16.360 --> 00:40:18.719
<v Speaker 2>probably most prominent, and I encourage you, if you've not

666
00:40:18.800 --> 00:40:23.199
<v Speaker 2>yet seen it, is to look up panas P A

667
00:40:23.599 --> 00:40:27.719
<v Speaker 2>N A Z. Z literally Panjazz and Daddy was, you know,

668
00:40:27.880 --> 00:40:30.599
<v Speaker 2>a drummer with Panas for a long time. And I'm

669
00:40:30.599 --> 00:40:33.519
<v Speaker 2>sure you have those memories too. You know, they're traveling

670
00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:37.079
<v Speaker 2>for music and they're going on a on a trip

671
00:40:37.119 --> 00:40:40.079
<v Speaker 2>and it's all of these things and seeing Panas the

672
00:40:40.199 --> 00:40:44.719
<v Speaker 2>movie that was my entire childhood, literally and and it

673
00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:47.960
<v Speaker 2>was so weird seeing people be like, oh, Panas is

674
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:50.119
<v Speaker 2>such a great group, and I just know these people

675
00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:54.440
<v Speaker 2>as Uncle Barry, you know what I mean, exactly, so

676
00:40:54.440 --> 00:40:57.480
<v Speaker 2>so wild. So I like you. I think we share

677
00:40:57.519 --> 00:41:00.719
<v Speaker 2>so much in common that way. My mom can hold up.

678
00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:03.119
<v Speaker 2>My mom doesn't say still, either retired or not. She

679
00:41:03.440 --> 00:41:10.119
<v Speaker 2>is go away, Mentellia, go away. She will not sit still.

680
00:41:10.280 --> 00:41:13.360
<v Speaker 2>And I told her, said, she when I retire, you're

681
00:41:13.360 --> 00:41:15.239
<v Speaker 2>not going to catch me doing anything. I said, okay,

682
00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:21.159
<v Speaker 2>wait for it. But she has to keep moving. It's just,

683
00:41:21.440 --> 00:41:24.639
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's just just what, it's just who she is.

684
00:41:24.719 --> 00:41:28.000
<v Speaker 2>And she's really good at anything that I think she

685
00:41:28.039 --> 00:41:29.639
<v Speaker 2>puts her mind to. So I think too, that's also

686
00:41:29.639 --> 00:41:32.119
<v Speaker 2>where I get some of my inspiration. Just do it.

687
00:41:32.159 --> 00:41:35.559
<v Speaker 2>You know, my mom has been the person and one

688
00:41:35.559 --> 00:41:37.320
<v Speaker 2>of the women that I could look up in my

689
00:41:37.360 --> 00:41:42.159
<v Speaker 2>life too, and say she really never let anything get

690
00:41:42.199 --> 00:41:45.880
<v Speaker 2>in the way of whatever she needed to accomplish, and

691
00:41:45.920 --> 00:41:49.920
<v Speaker 2>that is so admirable. So I think having strong women

692
00:41:50.360 --> 00:41:54.880
<v Speaker 2>in examples absolutely helps you know, whether it's a family friend,

693
00:41:55.159 --> 00:41:57.840
<v Speaker 2>or a boss, or a mentor or a teacher, just

694
00:41:58.000 --> 00:42:03.159
<v Speaker 2>a woman who is that level of Okay, if I

695
00:42:03.199 --> 00:42:06.079
<v Speaker 2>could do half of what she does, then I feel

696
00:42:06.159 --> 00:42:09.400
<v Speaker 2>like I'll bear it. No, I agree.

697
00:42:09.440 --> 00:42:13.559
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I didn't appreciate it as much until

698
00:42:13.559 --> 00:42:16.679
<v Speaker 1>I got a little bit older, Like just the benefit

699
00:42:16.840 --> 00:42:19.880
<v Speaker 1>of having such a good example of a woman that

700
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:25.760
<v Speaker 1>is just you know, able to focus on her goals,

701
00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:30.119
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, and not allow people's what

702
00:42:30.119 --> 00:42:34.159
<v Speaker 1>we're talking about before, maybe opinions of themselves or hatred

703
00:42:34.239 --> 00:42:37.639
<v Speaker 1>of themselves, you know, stop her from doing anything or

704
00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:40.880
<v Speaker 1>stop her from being who she actually is, even if

705
00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:44.840
<v Speaker 1>that's different than other people. And I find that when

706
00:42:44.880 --> 00:42:48.599
<v Speaker 1>you get older, you understand your mother a lot more,

707
00:42:48.880 --> 00:42:51.760
<v Speaker 1>like I understand certain things that she's gone through, or

708
00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:55.679
<v Speaker 1>you understand certain behaviors or just how she carried herself.

709
00:42:56.159 --> 00:42:58.119
<v Speaker 1>And it's really a blessing because you have a lot

710
00:42:58.199 --> 00:43:00.840
<v Speaker 1>of women that might not have that example. And like

711
00:43:00.880 --> 00:43:03.360
<v Speaker 1>you said, they have to look to maybe you know,

712
00:43:03.480 --> 00:43:07.360
<v Speaker 1>aunts or friends or godparents or and the truth is,

713
00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:09.840
<v Speaker 1>you know anyone you have in your life, right because

714
00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:12.079
<v Speaker 1>it could even be a man that's giving you certain

715
00:43:12.079 --> 00:43:14.880
<v Speaker 1>advice or whatever the case may be. But I think

716
00:43:14.920 --> 00:43:17.320
<v Speaker 1>it just it lends to the point that it's just

717
00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:22.519
<v Speaker 1>so important to have someone in your you know, vicinity

718
00:43:23.039 --> 00:43:25.599
<v Speaker 1>that you look up to and you can and particularly

719
00:43:25.599 --> 00:43:27.920
<v Speaker 1>when it is a woman, you know, you can say like, oh,

720
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:30.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't have to follow the crowd, like

721
00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:32.960
<v Speaker 1>I can be my own person. I can do music

722
00:43:33.039 --> 00:43:36.079
<v Speaker 1>but also teach. I can you know, write a book,

723
00:43:36.119 --> 00:43:39.679
<v Speaker 1>but also do this, like we're not. I feel like

724
00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:43.039
<v Speaker 1>the generation before us and the generation before them, I

725
00:43:43.079 --> 00:43:46.000
<v Speaker 1>feel like women were expected just to do one thing

726
00:43:46.639 --> 00:43:49.760
<v Speaker 1>and not really expected to do maybe what they love,

727
00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:52.039
<v Speaker 1>you know, give upon their dreams when they have kids

728
00:43:52.119 --> 00:43:55.119
<v Speaker 1>or whatever. And I think that's so such a beautiful

729
00:43:55.119 --> 00:43:58.719
<v Speaker 1>story that your parents continue to do what they love.

730
00:43:58.719 --> 00:44:04.360
<v Speaker 2>And no, no, Ma Manal, she give up dreams?

731
00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:05.320
<v Speaker 1>What not?

732
00:44:05.880 --> 00:44:07.119
<v Speaker 2>My mother?

733
00:44:09.559 --> 00:44:12.800
<v Speaker 1>But you know what, it's interesting because I feel like

734
00:44:12.920 --> 00:44:18.079
<v Speaker 1>the thought in previous generations was that that's selfish, but

735
00:44:18.159 --> 00:44:21.239
<v Speaker 1>it's actually not. It's self full. And I heard that

736
00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:24.079
<v Speaker 1>one time and I thought, that's such an interesting quote,

737
00:44:24.079 --> 00:44:27.039
<v Speaker 1>and then I applied it to just my life that

738
00:44:27.119 --> 00:44:28.199
<v Speaker 1>I've heard in my life.

739
00:44:28.000 --> 00:44:29.519
<v Speaker 2>And I said, whoa, that's so true.

740
00:44:29.599 --> 00:44:32.719
<v Speaker 1>Like thinking back to when you know, my mom was

741
00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:35.199
<v Speaker 1>a flight attendant for many years for UR Jamaica, and

742
00:44:35.320 --> 00:44:39.480
<v Speaker 1>that was like something where she's always traveling and we

743
00:44:39.480 --> 00:44:42.039
<v Speaker 1>were always traveling. So traveling is like a big part

744
00:44:42.119 --> 00:44:46.360
<v Speaker 1>of how I grew up. And I've just phone like, man,

745
00:44:46.400 --> 00:44:49.480
<v Speaker 1>my parents are so weird, like don't have the you know,

746
00:44:49.559 --> 00:44:52.679
<v Speaker 1>I just thought they were so strange. They have a

747
00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:54.840
<v Speaker 1>nine to five like everybody.

748
00:44:54.400 --> 00:44:57.320
<v Speaker 2>They know, and I feel like that is such an

749
00:44:57.320 --> 00:45:04.159
<v Speaker 2>important thing that people may not always appreciate about the other.

750
00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:07.039
<v Speaker 2>So let me see how I can how I can

751
00:45:07.119 --> 00:45:10.960
<v Speaker 2>get my thoughts to make sense. I feel like we

752
00:45:11.239 --> 00:45:15.800
<v Speaker 2>may have grown up in spaces wondering, well, how come

753
00:45:16.960 --> 00:45:19.400
<v Speaker 2>my mom can't be here for this thing, because you know,

754
00:45:19.639 --> 00:45:24.280
<v Speaker 2>in your casion, she's probably working a flight or she's

755
00:45:24.559 --> 00:45:26.760
<v Speaker 2>just she's not there. She doesn't have a nine to five,

756
00:45:27.039 --> 00:45:30.480
<v Speaker 2>But my friend's mom is always there. And then on

757
00:45:30.519 --> 00:45:32.480
<v Speaker 2>the other side, your friends may be looking at you

758
00:45:32.519 --> 00:45:34.599
<v Speaker 2>and saying, oh my godsh she's his mom is just

759
00:45:34.719 --> 00:45:37.320
<v Speaker 2>so cool, you know, every time she has and she

760
00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:40.920
<v Speaker 2>calls my friends love my mom, like all of them.

761
00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:44.159
<v Speaker 2>And I just feel like there's such a missed We

762
00:45:44.360 --> 00:45:48.679
<v Speaker 2>just don't know what we're missing, right, so we would

763
00:45:48.719 --> 00:45:53.039
<v Speaker 2>maybe have missed structure of some sort. And then other

764
00:45:53.079 --> 00:45:55.440
<v Speaker 2>people look at us and we're like, well, you have

765
00:45:55.639 --> 00:45:59.239
<v Speaker 2>the best of this, And I think it shapes how

766
00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:02.039
<v Speaker 2>we decide want to live. We either go all out

767
00:46:02.079 --> 00:46:05.239
<v Speaker 2>and we follow in that same pattern, or we go

768
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:07.239
<v Speaker 2>in the a full one eighty and we're like, no,

769
00:46:07.519 --> 00:46:11.519
<v Speaker 2>this costed me way too much and I will not

770
00:46:11.679 --> 00:46:15.119
<v Speaker 2>repeat this kind of thing. That's one. And then the

771
00:46:15.159 --> 00:46:18.960
<v Speaker 2>other thought I have is to your point of generations before,

772
00:46:19.599 --> 00:46:23.840
<v Speaker 2>it makes me curious about if women like our mothers

773
00:46:24.679 --> 00:46:30.719
<v Speaker 2>lived with guilt for doing that thing and chasing after

774
00:46:30.760 --> 00:46:36.320
<v Speaker 2>their dreams in a society where the norm was and

775
00:46:36.440 --> 00:46:41.320
<v Speaker 2>the next tan still is that they must be grounded,

776
00:46:41.679 --> 00:46:46.239
<v Speaker 2>punintended right, and they must just you know, well, you

777
00:46:46.280 --> 00:46:48.159
<v Speaker 2>should be a mother and you should cook and clean

778
00:46:48.199 --> 00:46:52.639
<v Speaker 2>and take care of da I do now wonder how

779
00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:58.079
<v Speaker 2>much guilt they may have had chasing this life that

780
00:46:58.639 --> 00:47:02.760
<v Speaker 2>inspires us, not knowing that they were going to inspire

781
00:47:02.840 --> 00:47:05.840
<v Speaker 2>us and just maybe wondering, Okay, well I'm going to

782
00:47:05.880 --> 00:47:08.800
<v Speaker 2>be judged for this because I am not in the

783
00:47:08.840 --> 00:47:11.280
<v Speaker 2>house taking care of my husband and my children and

784
00:47:11.320 --> 00:47:15.480
<v Speaker 2>the way that I'm supposed to, you know what I mean? Right? Right? No,

785
00:47:15.639 --> 00:47:16.480
<v Speaker 2>that's so true.

786
00:47:16.559 --> 00:47:19.960
<v Speaker 1>And I think that that kind of goes back to

787
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:22.440
<v Speaker 1>what we were talking about earlier as far as like

788
00:47:22.639 --> 00:47:25.079
<v Speaker 1>everything having a cost, right, because.

789
00:47:25.079 --> 00:47:27.760
<v Speaker 2>I look at it is if they were.

790
00:47:27.639 --> 00:47:29.400
<v Speaker 1>To say, you know what, I don't want to be

791
00:47:29.400 --> 00:47:31.679
<v Speaker 1>because you know, what has us Caribbean people in a

792
00:47:31.760 --> 00:47:33.239
<v Speaker 1>choke hold is what people are going.

793
00:47:33.239 --> 00:47:34.039
<v Speaker 2>To think, right.

794
00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:40.559
<v Speaker 1>List, So well, unless you're unless you're our mothers, obviously

795
00:47:40.559 --> 00:47:42.480
<v Speaker 1>they don't care. But you know, for the most part,

796
00:47:43.360 --> 00:47:46.039
<v Speaker 1>that's usually what people care about. So if you look

797
00:47:46.079 --> 00:47:49.199
<v Speaker 1>at it like that, it's like, what would the cost

798
00:47:49.280 --> 00:47:52.159
<v Speaker 1>have been to them, as women that were our age

799
00:47:52.239 --> 00:47:55.280
<v Speaker 1>or younger, you know, to give up on their dreams

800
00:47:55.280 --> 00:47:57.519
<v Speaker 1>and say, let me just do it because I don't

801
00:47:57.559 --> 00:47:59.599
<v Speaker 1>want to hear from this one and anti so and

802
00:47:59.599 --> 00:48:00.440
<v Speaker 1>so and just do.

803
00:48:00.519 --> 00:48:01.400
<v Speaker 2>What they want me to do.

804
00:48:01.920 --> 00:48:05.239
<v Speaker 1>They would be so resentful. I think, yeah, never know

805
00:48:05.480 --> 00:48:08.440
<v Speaker 1>because you know that route, but I think they would

806
00:48:08.440 --> 00:48:09.400
<v Speaker 1>be very resentful.

807
00:48:09.519 --> 00:48:12.760
<v Speaker 2>I think it comes out at the cost, at what costs.

808
00:48:12.880 --> 00:48:15.559
<v Speaker 2>So I'm chasing the life of my dreams at what costs. Well,

809
00:48:15.639 --> 00:48:19.440
<v Speaker 2>maybe I'm not going to be cooking three times listen

810
00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:22.840
<v Speaker 2>and my big age my mother still don't cook a week.

811
00:48:25.039 --> 00:48:27.840
<v Speaker 2>I will see it now, we big you have to

812
00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:31.719
<v Speaker 2>beg her mommy, please cook to a little oxtail. Mommy,

813
00:48:31.800 --> 00:48:44.119
<v Speaker 2>please curry mummy. I have beg your you know. And

814
00:48:44.159 --> 00:48:48.000
<v Speaker 2>then what I was really going to say is, I

815
00:48:48.039 --> 00:48:51.800
<v Speaker 2>think the resentment does come out you. I do feel

816
00:48:51.840 --> 00:48:56.239
<v Speaker 2>like you see it, whether it's in being judged. So

817
00:48:56.519 --> 00:48:59.840
<v Speaker 2>women who may not have been courageous enough to be

818
00:49:00.199 --> 00:49:03.360
<v Speaker 2>rebels and make those choices, and not that it's right

819
00:49:03.480 --> 00:49:05.280
<v Speaker 2>or wrong or good or bad. It's just they did

820
00:49:05.320 --> 00:49:07.719
<v Speaker 2>what they were able to and what they felt they

821
00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:12.039
<v Speaker 2>needed to. But that envy shows up for other women

822
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:17.519
<v Speaker 2>in other spaces and then and then it shows up

823
00:49:17.559 --> 00:49:20.840
<v Speaker 2>in the way that they may have raised their families

824
00:49:21.119 --> 00:49:24.440
<v Speaker 2>or may have approached it. And so I've seen it

825
00:49:24.519 --> 00:49:27.960
<v Speaker 2>as well, and TV shows have it too. You become

826
00:49:28.239 --> 00:49:32.039
<v Speaker 2>everything to your family, and then that kind of feeds

827
00:49:32.079 --> 00:49:35.440
<v Speaker 2>into the self sacrifice. Right, So if all I'm able

828
00:49:35.559 --> 00:49:38.199
<v Speaker 2>to be is a mom, then I'm going to be

829
00:49:38.360 --> 00:49:43.719
<v Speaker 2>that to the thousandth degree at the cost of my

830
00:49:43.840 --> 00:49:48.440
<v Speaker 2>sanity or my boundaries, or raising children who can do

831
00:49:48.519 --> 00:49:52.000
<v Speaker 2>things for themselves or taken care of a husband. I

832
00:49:52.039 --> 00:49:53.840
<v Speaker 2>don't know if I'm allowed to say these things, but

833
00:49:53.960 --> 00:49:57.880
<v Speaker 2>you know, I extend myself so much because it's all

834
00:49:57.920 --> 00:50:02.840
<v Speaker 2>I know, because I didn't have the space to chase

835
00:50:02.920 --> 00:50:05.880
<v Speaker 2>after my own dreams and to figure out who I

836
00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:11.800
<v Speaker 2>wanted to become. Mmmmm, yeah, m hm. And I feel like, yeah,

837
00:50:11.840 --> 00:50:14.079
<v Speaker 2>we keep seeing it, so we don't, you know, and

838
00:50:14.119 --> 00:50:17.559
<v Speaker 2>we're like, oh, life now starts. I am embracing and

839
00:50:17.639 --> 00:50:21.000
<v Speaker 2>loving how women in their fifties and in their sixties

840
00:50:21.320 --> 00:50:24.119
<v Speaker 2>they may have lost their husband, right, and it's almost

841
00:50:24.199 --> 00:50:27.599
<v Speaker 2>like this switch goes off in their heads. Wait a minute,

842
00:50:28.639 --> 00:50:33.079
<v Speaker 2>I can I can start over. I can live life again. Yeah,

843
00:50:33.119 --> 00:50:36.519
<v Speaker 2>and all of that coming down into the conversations of

844
00:50:37.119 --> 00:50:41.280
<v Speaker 2>generations before hours did not feel like they could have

845
00:50:41.320 --> 00:50:44.159
<v Speaker 2>done those things.

846
00:50:44.880 --> 00:50:53.159
<v Speaker 1>We have to talk about Marshall's Tiny Desk performance. I'm

847
00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:56.559
<v Speaker 1>still not over it. I thought it was an absolute

848
00:50:56.679 --> 00:51:00.760
<v Speaker 1>game changer for SOCA, and you know, I think it

849
00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:05.199
<v Speaker 1>really because they had Shampaul before. And I want to

850
00:51:05.239 --> 00:51:10.360
<v Speaker 1>say some other reggae artists I can't remember, but specifically Soca, right,

851
00:51:11.039 --> 00:51:11.679
<v Speaker 1>it was shaggy.

852
00:51:12.039 --> 00:51:12.679
<v Speaker 2>It was shaggy.

853
00:51:12.760 --> 00:51:16.599
<v Speaker 1>Okay, specifically Soca. I feel like it showed the world

854
00:51:16.679 --> 00:51:21.400
<v Speaker 1>that Soca isn't just party music, you know, because he's

855
00:51:21.440 --> 00:51:25.280
<v Speaker 1>such an incredible musician. I love that he showed the

856
00:51:25.480 --> 00:51:28.440
<v Speaker 1>art form, you know, with depth and culture and meaning

857
00:51:28.519 --> 00:51:31.599
<v Speaker 1>and the whole like call and response and that whole thing.

858
00:51:31.719 --> 00:51:35.000
<v Speaker 2>I just thought it was so basically done. I really

859
00:51:35.039 --> 00:51:35.639
<v Speaker 2>wanted to.

860
00:51:35.559 --> 00:51:39.480
<v Speaker 1>Cry, and as a bad guy, I don't cry, you know, But.

861
00:51:41.880 --> 00:51:45.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm joking. I'm joking, but I really felt like emotional

862
00:51:45.280 --> 00:51:45.840
<v Speaker 2>about it.

863
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:48.639
<v Speaker 1>No, I didn't know if I wanted to like chair

864
00:51:48.840 --> 00:51:51.039
<v Speaker 1>or get on bad. It was very confusing. There was

865
00:51:51.119 --> 00:51:54.760
<v Speaker 1>so many So I just want to know if he

866
00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:57.280
<v Speaker 1>saighed and how you felt about it, because I'm sure

867
00:51:57.320 --> 00:51:59.880
<v Speaker 1>as a trainey at that you are very excited.

868
00:52:00.440 --> 00:52:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Let me tell you, I have tased in my eyes

869
00:52:04.039 --> 00:52:08.920
<v Speaker 2>and goosebumps as I just think about it. Yeah, there

870
00:52:08.960 --> 00:52:14.440
<v Speaker 2>is a sense of national pride that runs even more

871
00:52:14.480 --> 00:52:20.599
<v Speaker 2>deeply as a result of seeing Marshall on tiny desk. Okay,

872
00:52:20.800 --> 00:52:23.880
<v Speaker 2>got the I don't think that's a bad yeah, because

873
00:52:23.119 --> 00:52:27.320
<v Speaker 2>I have come here and actually up. Okay, the pride,

874
00:52:27.519 --> 00:52:29.280
<v Speaker 2>the pride, the pride, and then of course you know,

875
00:52:29.360 --> 00:52:33.360
<v Speaker 2>being training and knowing Marshall and loving my culture and

876
00:52:33.599 --> 00:52:37.280
<v Speaker 2>love Carnival and not just the mass aspect but all

877
00:52:37.400 --> 00:52:40.400
<v Speaker 2>of the aspects. Of course, you know, this is my

878
00:52:40.559 --> 00:52:43.880
<v Speaker 2>shameless plug for Culture Shock Season two that we're doing

879
00:52:44.239 --> 00:52:48.280
<v Speaker 2>myself on one of my colleagues in media, literally exploring

880
00:52:48.320 --> 00:52:51.079
<v Speaker 2>the culture with a focus on Carnival for these these

881
00:52:51.119 --> 00:52:54.679
<v Speaker 2>first couple of seasons. And so anyway, so loving Marshall

882
00:52:54.719 --> 00:52:59.280
<v Speaker 2>and appreciating the legend that he that he is right

883
00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:03.440
<v Speaker 2>from singing Calypso Too Young to Soka to making it

884
00:53:03.480 --> 00:53:06.639
<v Speaker 2>to NPR, the pride is like none other. I think

885
00:53:06.880 --> 00:53:10.559
<v Speaker 2>for most trainees, even if you weren't a Marshall fan

886
00:53:10.679 --> 00:53:13.960
<v Speaker 2>or aren't a Marshall fan, you could appreciate what he

887
00:53:14.039 --> 00:53:15.280
<v Speaker 2>did and you could.

888
00:53:15.159 --> 00:53:17.880
<v Speaker 1>Appreciate every everybody's not a Marshall fan.

889
00:53:18.360 --> 00:53:24.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to. I'm not trying to starting people

890
00:53:24.559 --> 00:53:28.320
<v Speaker 2>like I'm not trying to start No Island War. So

891
00:53:28.440 --> 00:53:31.920
<v Speaker 2>I continue Island was and that's okay, right, but there

892
00:53:32.039 --> 00:53:34.239
<v Speaker 2>you know, even if you don't love love his music,

893
00:53:34.280 --> 00:53:38.679
<v Speaker 2>you could definitely appreciate. Wow, this is what he's done.

894
00:53:38.719 --> 00:53:42.920
<v Speaker 2>This is he's He's chosen this thing. And then seeing

895
00:53:43.000 --> 00:53:47.519
<v Speaker 2>musicians that I know be his musicians, the drummer and

896
00:53:47.920 --> 00:53:51.199
<v Speaker 2>the person on guitar, and you're like, these are these

897
00:53:51.199 --> 00:53:53.760
<v Speaker 2>are people that walk on through tomorrow is a hug

898
00:53:53.880 --> 00:53:57.559
<v Speaker 2>up and how you're going and just putting our place

899
00:53:57.800 --> 00:54:00.320
<v Speaker 2>on the map. And also to know that you know,

900
00:54:00.519 --> 00:54:03.039
<v Speaker 2>because the last tiny desk that I looked at before

901
00:54:03.119 --> 00:54:08.360
<v Speaker 2>Marshall Zone was Billie Eilish. Oh okay, I love Billy Eilish.

902
00:54:08.360 --> 00:54:12.880
<v Speaker 2>You're talking about music. I just haunted in a beautiful

903
00:54:12.920 --> 00:54:15.840
<v Speaker 2>way by her music and just the raw emotion that

904
00:54:15.920 --> 00:54:17.440
<v Speaker 2>she comes with. And so that was the last one

905
00:54:17.480 --> 00:54:19.960
<v Speaker 2>that I looked at from start to finish, and I

906
00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:22.320
<v Speaker 2>was like, wow, you know, Billy has done so much

907
00:54:22.639 --> 00:54:25.079
<v Speaker 2>for herself at such a young age. And then boom,

908
00:54:25.239 --> 00:54:28.719
<v Speaker 2>Marshall drop a tiny desk. What do you mean, Marshall,

909
00:54:28.800 --> 00:54:31.239
<v Speaker 2>what do you mean? And then yeah, I wasn't ready.

910
00:54:31.519 --> 00:54:33.239
<v Speaker 2>I was not ready, And then I think I was

911
00:54:33.320 --> 00:54:36.519
<v Speaker 2>not ready. I felt full at the end of it,

912
00:54:36.559 --> 00:54:38.800
<v Speaker 2>but I felt incomplete. I'm like, no, this is done.

913
00:54:38.800 --> 00:54:42.159
<v Speaker 2>Why is it done? There needs to be more? Please Okay.

914
00:54:42.559 --> 00:54:45.800
<v Speaker 2>I was like, this was so quick. The party just

915
00:54:45.840 --> 00:54:54.840
<v Speaker 2>can't done write that, like what you doing? That was no,

916
00:54:55.079 --> 00:54:58.000
<v Speaker 2>it was amazing, such an amazing move. And now I'm

917
00:54:58.039 --> 00:54:59.840
<v Speaker 2>just curious to see who else is going on, because

918
00:54:59.840 --> 00:55:05.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm tell you, when chess decide, he went on, oh okay.

919
00:55:05.079 --> 00:55:12.360
<v Speaker 1>Hello or hellomm no, that is going to be something.

920
00:55:12.039 --> 00:55:16.280
<v Speaker 2>Else, write President of the Redman Association, going to the

921
00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:21.400
<v Speaker 2>people on them NPR, Tiny Desk and and he's incredible.

922
00:55:21.519 --> 00:55:25.960
<v Speaker 2>He's grown so much on his presence is ridiculous now.

923
00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:28.599
<v Speaker 2>And I mean and he and Marshall represent two different

924
00:55:28.719 --> 00:55:32.079
<v Speaker 2>sides of the genre of soka but still doing so

925
00:55:32.199 --> 00:55:35.480
<v Speaker 2>many a mea marshallist power and alle casses, not that

926
00:55:35.559 --> 00:55:39.039
<v Speaker 2>he can't do power songs. He won Road March in

927
00:55:39.079 --> 00:55:42.360
<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty with Stage Gone Bad alongside Iowa George. And

928
00:55:42.400 --> 00:55:44.719
<v Speaker 2>I think it's because of who Iowa George is as

929
00:55:44.760 --> 00:55:49.079
<v Speaker 2>an artist or in himself, the hypepond, the crowd casses,

930
00:55:49.079 --> 00:55:53.159
<v Speaker 2>no Bunchie casses, no Bunie. You understand CA's God sing,

931
00:55:53.199 --> 00:55:56.679
<v Speaker 2>CA's good Arold sing. And at the same time, when

932
00:55:56.719 --> 00:56:00.559
<v Speaker 2>I think of what Tiny Desk could be, Marshall doing

933
00:56:00.599 --> 00:56:04.920
<v Speaker 2>what he did hypenny crowd, but still realizing that is

934
00:56:04.960 --> 00:56:07.719
<v Speaker 2>not a whole fat but it felt like you were enough. Fact,

935
00:56:07.800 --> 00:56:09.199
<v Speaker 2>it was so confusing, and.

936
00:56:12.039 --> 00:56:17.639
<v Speaker 1>That just shows you, like he's just incredible musicianship, and

937
00:56:18.559 --> 00:56:20.679
<v Speaker 1>you know he's been doing this since he was a child,

938
00:56:20.840 --> 00:56:23.760
<v Speaker 1>so like this is like second nature to him.

939
00:56:23.760 --> 00:56:28.159
<v Speaker 2>And even Relicious, Oh yeah, perform easy, easy, easy, peasy.

940
00:56:28.239 --> 00:56:31.280
<v Speaker 2>I just I really just wish there could have been more.

941
00:56:31.519 --> 00:56:35.719
<v Speaker 2>We want more and engagement they definitely was there. He's

942
00:56:35.719 --> 00:56:38.400
<v Speaker 2>paved the way for sure. I don't even for sure

943
00:56:38.480 --> 00:56:40.199
<v Speaker 2>for sure, I don't even think there was any other

944
00:56:40.320 --> 00:56:43.480
<v Speaker 2>artist that I have seen on Tiny Desk that had

945
00:56:43.679 --> 00:56:48.960
<v Speaker 2>such amazing crowd response, like pan out to the audience

946
00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:51.239
<v Speaker 2>like there's a day.

947
00:56:51.360 --> 00:56:53.800
<v Speaker 1>When I was watching it, I thought to myself, I

948
00:56:53.880 --> 00:56:56.199
<v Speaker 1>don't think I've ever seen the audience before. Now I

949
00:56:56.199 --> 00:56:58.679
<v Speaker 1>will say I have not watched every Tiny Desk, so

950
00:56:58.800 --> 00:57:01.280
<v Speaker 1>nobody come for me if you have and they've done

951
00:57:01.320 --> 00:57:04.039
<v Speaker 1>it before. But I literally had that same thought when

952
00:57:04.079 --> 00:57:06.400
<v Speaker 1>they showed everybody with the flags and everything, I was like,

953
00:57:06.440 --> 00:57:08.599
<v Speaker 1>wait a minute, I don't think I've ever seen the

954
00:57:08.639 --> 00:57:09.480
<v Speaker 1>audience before.

955
00:57:10.119 --> 00:57:12.840
<v Speaker 2>For sure they did it. That's a point, So I

956
00:57:12.880 --> 00:57:20.000
<v Speaker 2>will tell you right, Tiny desks juvenile because millennials juveniles. Tiny.

957
00:57:20.039 --> 00:57:22.280
<v Speaker 2>That's was really nice. I enjoyed it a lot, and well,

958
00:57:22.320 --> 00:57:26.960
<v Speaker 2>of course a show for me was fantastic. Yeah, that

959
00:57:27.039 --> 00:57:29.239
<v Speaker 2>was a good one too, so you know, and even then,

960
00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:31.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, you see that they are people, right, but

961
00:57:31.960 --> 00:57:35.960
<v Speaker 2>the kind of energy and that just encapsulates I think

962
00:57:36.039 --> 00:57:41.119
<v Speaker 2>everything that soca is to us as a Caribbean people,

963
00:57:41.280 --> 00:57:44.079
<v Speaker 2>and well to me as a Traine, it just Soca

964
00:57:44.480 --> 00:57:48.679
<v Speaker 2>to the bone, Carnival in the bones. Everything about it

965
00:57:48.719 --> 00:57:52.599
<v Speaker 2>is just so secret and so special. Yeah, yes, definitely.

966
00:57:52.679 --> 00:57:54.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh you know what I just thought of the other

967
00:57:54.599 --> 00:57:58.760
<v Speaker 1>reggae artists, it was Chronics.

968
00:57:59.440 --> 00:58:04.599
<v Speaker 2>Chronics is ridiculous. He is so amazing. Yeah, and he's

969
00:58:04.639 --> 00:58:11.280
<v Speaker 2>actually like such a show. That's always helpful, you know, always,

970
00:58:11.320 --> 00:58:14.960
<v Speaker 2>always always so Tiny Desks.

971
00:58:15.199 --> 00:58:20.159
<v Speaker 1>If you can't watch it, match it, yes you have.

972
00:58:20.320 --> 00:58:23.480
<v Speaker 1>If anyone has not watched that, you have to watch it,

973
00:58:23.639 --> 00:58:27.320
<v Speaker 1>like honestly, like now, like yesterday, so right right now,

974
00:58:27.480 --> 00:58:32.920
<v Speaker 1>well no, after this episode, don't the episode yet, yeah,

975
00:58:32.960 --> 00:58:35.159
<v Speaker 1>but speaking of that, right, so on the heels of

976
00:58:35.199 --> 00:58:38.400
<v Speaker 1>the Tiny Desk performance, and like you said, if Kats

977
00:58:38.559 --> 00:58:41.440
<v Speaker 1>gets on there, it's over done. But like just opening

978
00:58:41.440 --> 00:58:44.360
<v Speaker 1>the door for so many artists. Right we have to

979
00:58:44.440 --> 00:58:48.800
<v Speaker 1>talk about the women, and right now, one of my

980
00:58:49.000 --> 00:58:51.159
<v Speaker 1>favorites is Nyla Blackman.

981
00:58:51.280 --> 00:58:54.599
<v Speaker 2>I love her because I.

982
00:58:54.519 --> 00:58:59.079
<v Speaker 1>Feel like she's she's bringing something like fresh and unique

983
00:58:59.119 --> 00:59:02.639
<v Speaker 1>to Soca and to just the Caribbean music scene as

984
00:59:02.679 --> 00:59:05.400
<v Speaker 1>a whole. And I feel like when I see like

985
00:59:05.480 --> 00:59:08.480
<v Speaker 1>her poster, you know, just whatever she she comes up with,

986
00:59:08.599 --> 00:59:11.800
<v Speaker 1>videos or whatever the case may be, it's so evident

987
00:59:11.840 --> 00:59:16.480
<v Speaker 1>that she has amazing work ethic, like Beyonce esque, you know,

988
00:59:16.760 --> 00:59:20.920
<v Speaker 1>like very very amazing work ethic. And I love that

989
00:59:20.960 --> 00:59:22.679
<v Speaker 1>she has her own sound and her you know, she

990
00:59:22.800 --> 00:59:25.800
<v Speaker 1>has this unique blend of like traditional Soca mixed with

991
00:59:25.920 --> 00:59:29.079
<v Speaker 1>kind of modern sounds, and I love that she's not

992
00:59:29.800 --> 00:59:32.920
<v Speaker 1>afraid to experiment, you know what I mean. And I

993
00:59:32.960 --> 00:59:36.480
<v Speaker 1>think that is what sets her apart, that she's not

994
00:59:36.519 --> 00:59:39.760
<v Speaker 1>trying to like fit into a box or she's just

995
00:59:39.840 --> 00:59:42.679
<v Speaker 1>creating her own lane, which which I admire. Like we

996
00:59:42.719 --> 00:59:45.760
<v Speaker 1>talked about before, I think that's just such an important trait,

997
00:59:45.960 --> 00:59:50.199
<v Speaker 1>especially with Soca being more male Dominminan. You know, you

998
00:59:50.280 --> 00:59:53.480
<v Speaker 1>having that boldness and willingness to break the mold is

999
00:59:53.519 --> 00:59:56.239
<v Speaker 1>so important. So who would you say, is one of

1000
00:59:56.320 --> 00:59:59.920
<v Speaker 1>your favorite women in Soca?

1001
01:00:00.440 --> 01:00:03.719
<v Speaker 2>Ant to that just shortly, I can't not talk about

1002
01:00:03.719 --> 01:00:06.760
<v Speaker 2>the culture that we have and why Nyla has been

1003
01:00:06.920 --> 01:00:11.599
<v Speaker 2>so successful. I agree. When Nyla first started, she did

1004
01:00:11.599 --> 01:00:18.039
<v Speaker 2>not start singing Soca. Oh really her? So she is gosh,

1005
01:00:18.639 --> 01:00:20.599
<v Speaker 2>I hope I'm getting this one right off the top

1006
01:00:20.639 --> 01:00:24.599
<v Speaker 2>of my head. She is the grand child of RASHORTII,

1007
01:00:25.000 --> 01:00:29.440
<v Speaker 2>who is the pioneer for us with soka. Right. He

1008
01:00:29.559 --> 01:00:32.679
<v Speaker 2>was the person who decided that, or not decided. He

1009
01:00:32.719 --> 01:00:34.559
<v Speaker 2>got up one day and he fused these gens and

1010
01:00:34.639 --> 01:00:37.159
<v Speaker 2>what we know are souka or the evolution of it

1011
01:00:37.360 --> 01:00:42.559
<v Speaker 2>started within her bloodline. But her and her family, this

1012
01:00:43.960 --> 01:00:46.199
<v Speaker 2>most of her other family, and you can look it

1013
01:00:46.280 --> 01:00:50.159
<v Speaker 2>up in Marge black Man, Isaac Blackman. They're all family.

1014
01:00:50.920 --> 01:00:57.400
<v Speaker 2>They sing very soul roots rock reggaeish almost kind of energy.

1015
01:00:57.920 --> 01:01:03.159
<v Speaker 2>That's when Nyla started, correct, That's right, And then she

1016
01:01:03.280 --> 01:01:06.039
<v Speaker 2>crossed over into Soca. So I feel like her whole

1017
01:01:06.079 --> 01:01:09.599
<v Speaker 2>pathway is, as you say, beyond sask like she was

1018
01:01:10.199 --> 01:01:14.840
<v Speaker 2>legendary just because of where she started. And I think

1019
01:01:14.960 --> 01:01:17.880
<v Speaker 2>that fear or that lack of fear that she has

1020
01:01:18.280 --> 01:01:21.559
<v Speaker 2>the fearlessness to show up in this space and experiment

1021
01:01:21.760 --> 01:01:27.320
<v Speaker 2>comes from her being a woman that has experimented for most,

1022
01:01:27.360 --> 01:01:29.559
<v Speaker 2>if not all, of her career, like from you know,

1023
01:01:29.679 --> 01:01:33.320
<v Speaker 2>exploding onto the scene. So she's able to be comfortable

1024
01:01:33.480 --> 01:01:37.000
<v Speaker 2>trying new things while still yeah, while still having her

1025
01:01:37.199 --> 01:01:41.760
<v Speaker 2>sound right. And it's funny because I could say it

1026
01:01:42.400 --> 01:01:45.480
<v Speaker 2>saying it's in big. Her voice is something that we've

1027
01:01:45.480 --> 01:01:47.960
<v Speaker 2>had to get used to as a For me, I've

1028
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:53.119
<v Speaker 2>had to get people and they were mashmupenee comments. But

1029
01:01:53.360 --> 01:01:55.760
<v Speaker 2>for me and someone who's grown up in music, it

1030
01:01:55.840 --> 01:01:59.840
<v Speaker 2>was hard at first to appreciate Nyla's voice. And then

1031
01:02:00.239 --> 01:02:03.519
<v Speaker 2>she's I'm telling you. And then as she evolved and

1032
01:02:03.559 --> 01:02:07.599
<v Speaker 2>she tried new things, and then ironically her manager whose producer,

1033
01:02:08.119 --> 01:02:10.719
<v Speaker 2>I know him, like we grew up together. He came

1034
01:02:11.519 --> 01:02:15.079
<v Speaker 2>lining in my house during vocation and playing piano, wanting

1035
01:02:15.159 --> 01:02:20.199
<v Speaker 2>like it's crazy, just that closeness to the certain people

1036
01:02:20.280 --> 01:02:24.679
<v Speaker 2>in the industry anyway. So yeah, so her now manager

1037
01:02:24.719 --> 01:02:29.800
<v Speaker 2>and son, he and producer before, they've just experiment and

1038
01:02:29.880 --> 01:02:32.079
<v Speaker 2>what we know now or what we see now of

1039
01:02:32.239 --> 01:02:34.960
<v Speaker 2>Nyla is just the beginning. And now you know, she's

1040
01:02:34.960 --> 01:02:38.400
<v Speaker 2>gone and she's signed on to uh this international US

1041
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:42.119
<v Speaker 2>label and so it's just opening doors for so Nyla

1042
01:02:42.440 --> 01:02:46.239
<v Speaker 2>is carving her path and she's doing it so well

1043
01:02:46.320 --> 01:02:51.079
<v Speaker 2>for herself. It's my respect big up every little way

1044
01:02:51.599 --> 01:02:56.480
<v Speaker 2>that she's maintaining her individuality. So Nyla is definitely there.

1045
01:02:56.519 --> 01:02:59.760
<v Speaker 2>But for me, not the answer the question. My yeaersonal

1046
01:03:00.079 --> 01:03:03.599
<v Speaker 2>favorite SOCCA artists that's a woman is deshtraa Ceo.

1047
01:03:04.800 --> 01:03:05.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh I love her.

1048
01:03:05.760 --> 01:03:11.039
<v Speaker 2>Too because the woman could sing oh good, oh yeah, yes,

1049
01:03:11.159 --> 01:03:16.800
<v Speaker 2>I can never forget. I'm an affect, I am sweaty.

1050
01:03:17.119 --> 01:03:19.880
<v Speaker 2>I have just wan on to be grown. Because she's

1051
01:03:19.880 --> 01:03:26.400
<v Speaker 2>singing was a trembleet or something? Right? She comes full

1052
01:03:26.480 --> 01:03:32.119
<v Speaker 2>circle the song set changes and belting out note for

1053
01:03:32.280 --> 01:03:35.719
<v Speaker 2>note Whitney Houston, I will always love you. Come on

1054
01:03:36.599 --> 01:03:40.039
<v Speaker 2>what I'm telling you? Come on? That was? I mean

1055
01:03:41.119 --> 01:03:46.760
<v Speaker 2>that beautifully And for me, there is no other to date,

1056
01:03:46.840 --> 01:03:50.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm not heard. I've not seen other SOCA artists, female

1057
01:03:50.280 --> 01:03:54.840
<v Speaker 2>SOCA artists that can do what Destra does. I just

1058
01:03:55.079 --> 01:04:00.239
<v Speaker 2>hands down. I love Destra's her talent For me is

1059
01:04:00.360 --> 01:04:03.800
<v Speaker 2>nobody is touching her, not a Fean, not a Nila.

1060
01:04:04.480 --> 01:04:09.239
<v Speaker 2>I love Nadia Batson but vocally and that gift that

1061
01:04:09.400 --> 01:04:15.400
<v Speaker 2>Destra has had hands down my favorite, hands down. Wow

1062
01:04:17.119 --> 01:04:22.559
<v Speaker 2>Wow that was crazy. That was crazy. She now wind

1063
01:04:22.599 --> 01:04:28.320
<v Speaker 2>up problems on the stage and then stops and the

1064
01:04:28.320 --> 01:04:34.079
<v Speaker 2>crowd a little bit and saying, Whitney Houston, well, we

1065
01:04:34.119 --> 01:04:38.199
<v Speaker 2>love your certility. So that's l and I really think that, Yeah,

1066
01:04:38.239 --> 01:04:40.800
<v Speaker 2>that's that's probably one of one of the biggest reasons

1067
01:04:40.800 --> 01:04:43.480
<v Speaker 2>why no one else has been able to to top that.

1068
01:04:43.599 --> 01:04:46.679
<v Speaker 2>For me, I love I love them all, appreciate every

1069
01:04:46.719 --> 01:04:49.559
<v Speaker 2>bit of contribution that they make and the laine that

1070
01:04:49.599 --> 01:04:52.760
<v Speaker 2>they said, because Nadia is a powerhouse by herself. She's

1071
01:04:52.800 --> 01:04:56.760
<v Speaker 2>written songs before she became mainstream and the artist that

1072
01:04:56.760 --> 01:04:59.719
<v Speaker 2>we know, she's a songwriter. You know, for Terce would

1073
01:04:59.719 --> 01:05:04.440
<v Speaker 2>have singing Calypso. My little sister sang in competition with

1074
01:05:04.480 --> 01:05:07.280
<v Speaker 2>her all of those years ago in Calypso. And when

1075
01:05:07.360 --> 01:05:11.159
<v Speaker 2>Patrice became after she became the junior Monarch, she decided,

1076
01:05:11.159 --> 01:05:13.039
<v Speaker 2>you know, she really wanted to go into that space

1077
01:05:13.079 --> 01:05:16.440
<v Speaker 2>and metter with Marsha and some of her first big

1078
01:05:16.519 --> 01:05:20.119
<v Speaker 2>hits would have been collabsed with Marshall. So when a

1079
01:05:20.199 --> 01:05:26.440
<v Speaker 2>little arriven today, Loan and you're comfortable. Make sure it's

1080
01:05:26.559 --> 01:05:30.840
<v Speaker 2>stumping them. Yeah, honest, soul of stumping. Now I need

1081
01:05:30.840 --> 01:05:33.639
<v Speaker 2>to go and put on my playlist. Let me finish it, because.

1082
01:05:33.800 --> 01:05:39.000
<v Speaker 1>You're just waking uptary giving us so much history, especially me,

1083
01:05:39.199 --> 01:05:41.239
<v Speaker 1>I did not know a lot of those things, and

1084
01:05:41.639 --> 01:05:43.440
<v Speaker 1>I just want to go back a little bit. So

1085
01:05:43.719 --> 01:05:46.920
<v Speaker 1>when you explained Nylah's you know, upbringing in that whole thing,

1086
01:05:46.960 --> 01:05:50.199
<v Speaker 1>because it definitely makes everything makes sense and how I

1087
01:05:50.320 --> 01:05:53.280
<v Speaker 1>perceived her as an artist because I didn't know any

1088
01:05:53.320 --> 01:05:57.000
<v Speaker 1>of that. And one of the things you said about

1089
01:05:57.039 --> 01:06:01.119
<v Speaker 1>her voice, that's so interesting to me because I actually

1090
01:06:01.159 --> 01:06:03.159
<v Speaker 1>think that's the best thing about her.

1091
01:06:03.559 --> 01:06:07.800
<v Speaker 2>Really so distinctive. It is no, but it is five.

1092
01:06:08.119 --> 01:06:13.360
<v Speaker 1>I love that her voice is so distinct because anywhere

1093
01:06:13.360 --> 01:06:15.199
<v Speaker 1>in the world, you're going to know that it's her.

1094
01:06:15.679 --> 01:06:18.920
<v Speaker 1>And that's why I lend it to being Beyonce esque,

1095
01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:21.440
<v Speaker 1>you know, because Beyonce.

1096
01:06:21.159 --> 01:06:22.039
<v Speaker 2>Has such a.

1097
01:06:23.719 --> 01:06:26.559
<v Speaker 1>Powerholes of a voice, but just such a unique voice

1098
01:06:27.119 --> 01:06:29.559
<v Speaker 1>that you know that it's her. And even though people

1099
01:06:30.000 --> 01:06:32.679
<v Speaker 1>can try to replicate her voice and things like that,

1100
01:06:32.760 --> 01:06:35.840
<v Speaker 1>you know it's her. She doesn't sound like anybody else,

1101
01:06:36.480 --> 01:06:40.639
<v Speaker 1>and that lends to her courage in being different, right,

1102
01:06:40.719 --> 01:06:44.320
<v Speaker 1>because suppose she heard those comments, which I'm sure didn't

1103
01:06:44.320 --> 01:06:46.960
<v Speaker 1>make her feel great, because it's literally her voice, Like

1104
01:06:47.000 --> 01:06:49.559
<v Speaker 1>she can't do anything about it, you know. It's not like, oh,

1105
01:06:49.840 --> 01:06:51.800
<v Speaker 1>we don't like the way she dresses, and then maybe

1106
01:06:51.800 --> 01:06:55.159
<v Speaker 1>she can get a different stylist, Like it's literally her trichia,

1107
01:06:55.360 --> 01:06:57.280
<v Speaker 1>Like she can't change it.

1108
01:06:57.320 --> 01:06:57.519
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1109
01:06:58.280 --> 01:07:01.800
<v Speaker 1>But I suppose she had the mindset like, oh my gosh,

1110
01:07:01.840 --> 01:07:04.079
<v Speaker 1>nobody likes my voice. Let me just pack it up

1111
01:07:04.159 --> 01:07:08.840
<v Speaker 1>because I can't do anything about it, she continued, And basically,

1112
01:07:08.840 --> 01:07:11.000
<v Speaker 1>in my view, is saying like, oh, you guys are

1113
01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:13.280
<v Speaker 1>gonna love this voice. Don't worry, like you'll catch on.

1114
01:07:13.440 --> 01:07:15.960
<v Speaker 1>I actually know who I am, but now you have

1115
01:07:16.039 --> 01:07:18.559
<v Speaker 1>to catch on. And I think that just makes me

1116
01:07:18.599 --> 01:07:22.039
<v Speaker 1>love her even more because like, I love stories like

1117
01:07:22.079 --> 01:07:25.039
<v Speaker 1>that where people didn't like you or get you or

1118
01:07:25.559 --> 01:07:29.360
<v Speaker 1>thought this of you, and know everyone is seeing like

1119
01:07:29.800 --> 01:07:32.239
<v Speaker 1>really who you are and what you have within you.

1120
01:07:32.320 --> 01:07:34.760
<v Speaker 1>Because although she has all of that in her background,

1121
01:07:35.559 --> 01:07:38.760
<v Speaker 1>I think what people don't understand is that when you

1122
01:07:38.800 --> 01:07:42.760
<v Speaker 1>come from a family that has already made it, let's say,

1123
01:07:42.800 --> 01:07:45.320
<v Speaker 1>per se in the industry, right, has already made your

1124
01:07:45.400 --> 01:07:49.559
<v Speaker 1>mark in the industry, it's actually more difficult to make

1125
01:07:49.599 --> 01:07:50.079
<v Speaker 1>your mark.

1126
01:07:50.639 --> 01:07:54.519
<v Speaker 2>I think people have that individual Yeah, the individuality. People

1127
01:07:54.639 --> 01:07:56.280
<v Speaker 2>think that it makes it easier.

1128
01:07:56.320 --> 01:07:59.280
<v Speaker 1>Now granted, I'm sure it in a sense I can

1129
01:07:59.320 --> 01:08:02.320
<v Speaker 1>attest to you have more like connections or maybe people

1130
01:08:02.360 --> 01:08:05.199
<v Speaker 1>you can talk to. But I heard one of the

1131
01:08:05.280 --> 01:08:07.840
<v Speaker 1>Marley sons say this. I can't remember which one, but

1132
01:08:07.880 --> 01:08:09.519
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people used to tell them like, oh,

1133
01:08:09.559 --> 01:08:11.440
<v Speaker 1>you only get this because you're a Marley, or you

1134
01:08:11.480 --> 01:08:15.360
<v Speaker 1>only get that because you're a Marley's something that really

1135
01:08:15.400 --> 01:08:19.359
<v Speaker 1>resonated with me. He said, Yes, that might get me

1136
01:08:19.439 --> 01:08:21.920
<v Speaker 1>in the door, but in order for the person to

1137
01:08:21.960 --> 01:08:24.000
<v Speaker 1>want to work with me or to keep me in

1138
01:08:24.079 --> 01:08:26.640
<v Speaker 1>the building that I'm walking into, I have to bring

1139
01:08:26.720 --> 01:08:29.720
<v Speaker 1>something like I have to have a talent.

1140
01:08:29.560 --> 01:08:32.600
<v Speaker 2>Like something more than just my And I almost feel

1141
01:08:32.600 --> 01:08:35.680
<v Speaker 2>like it's hard because I mean, come on, we're talking

1142
01:08:35.720 --> 01:08:40.319
<v Speaker 2>about the Bob Marley who is my birthday twin. But

1143
01:08:40.399 --> 01:08:44.920
<v Speaker 2>that's okay, And you know, there's a lot of pressure.

1144
01:08:45.560 --> 01:08:47.960
<v Speaker 2>I feel like there's just so much pressure to be

1145
01:08:48.960 --> 01:08:52.159
<v Speaker 2>to have a name. There is power in a name,

1146
01:08:52.399 --> 01:08:56.079
<v Speaker 2>you know. So you hear a name like the Blackman family,

1147
01:08:56.119 --> 01:08:58.199
<v Speaker 2>and off the bat, they're like, well, oh, you know,

1148
01:08:58.399 --> 01:09:01.279
<v Speaker 2>you have to understand, you have to know about I

1149
01:09:01.680 --> 01:09:04.840
<v Speaker 2>do think that that is something important. And then as

1150
01:09:04.880 --> 01:09:09.600
<v Speaker 2>you were talking about just Nyla's distinct sound, and it's true,

1151
01:09:09.960 --> 01:09:13.000
<v Speaker 2>no one else has a voice like she does. Hate

1152
01:09:13.039 --> 01:09:15.600
<v Speaker 2>it or love it or get accustomed to it. It's

1153
01:09:15.760 --> 01:09:19.600
<v Speaker 2>it is distinct. But I feel like she just had

1154
01:09:19.640 --> 01:09:22.760
<v Speaker 2>that trust in herself. She just said, I'm going to

1155
01:09:22.920 --> 01:09:25.520
<v Speaker 2>do the amazing what I'm going to do regardless, and

1156
01:09:25.680 --> 01:09:28.239
<v Speaker 2>you're just gonna have to adjust. And if that's not

1157
01:09:28.279 --> 01:09:31.600
<v Speaker 2>a lesson for all of us, okay, I don't really

1158
01:09:31.640 --> 01:09:37.000
<v Speaker 2>know what is. So that's amazing. I love that, love

1159
01:09:37.079 --> 01:09:37.439
<v Speaker 2>love that.

1160
01:09:37.560 --> 01:09:40.560
<v Speaker 1>But thank you for sharing that with myself and with

1161
01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:41.920
<v Speaker 1>the audience for sure.

1162
01:09:42.079 --> 01:09:47.239
<v Speaker 2>Of course I do love learning about anything, my culture especially,

1163
01:09:47.319 --> 01:09:51.279
<v Speaker 2>And so who knew that me appreciating these things would

1164
01:09:51.319 --> 01:09:56.079
<v Speaker 2>come back around folks to culture and so light and

1165
01:09:56.520 --> 01:10:00.600
<v Speaker 2>maybe a horriblement or something to inspire some else too.

1166
01:10:00.640 --> 01:10:02.600
<v Speaker 2>Go do some reading, go do some digging. It's it's

1167
01:10:02.600 --> 01:10:02.920
<v Speaker 2>all there.

1168
01:10:07.760 --> 01:10:12.720
<v Speaker 1>And that concludes this week's episode. Stay tuned for part two,

1169
01:10:13.199 --> 01:10:16.960
<v Speaker 1>when we'll discuss the influence of Caribbean women in the

1170
01:10:17.000 --> 01:10:22.159
<v Speaker 1>beauty industry and all things Bacanal or Carnival for those

1171
01:10:22.239 --> 01:10:26.199
<v Speaker 1>that are not so familiar, don't forget to leave us

1172
01:10:26.319 --> 01:10:29.920
<v Speaker 1>a five star rating. If you enjoyed this episode and

1173
01:10:30.079 --> 01:10:35.039
<v Speaker 1>share the episode, follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1174
01:10:35.039 --> 01:10:39.880
<v Speaker 1>wherever you get your podcast, and on Instagram. Remember life

1175
01:10:40.079 --> 01:10:44.319
<v Speaker 1>is too short to live with regret, so go after

1176
01:10:44.399 --> 01:10:49.079
<v Speaker 1>your dreams with everything you have. Stop waiting for permission.

1177
01:10:49.520 --> 01:10:54.680
<v Speaker 1>You know you have everything that you need inside to succeed,

1178
01:10:55.640 --> 01:10:59.520
<v Speaker 1>and the fear won't disappear, but you can work with it.

1179
01:10:59.640 --> 01:11:03.119
<v Speaker 1>You can work through it, and that is what's important.

1180
01:11:04.319 --> 01:11:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Keep living fearlessly and fabulously and just press play