Speaker 1: So I guess with us now, who is doing something
Speaker 1: that's a little bit different than what you might think
Speaker 1: of when you hear someone talking about helping people with
Speaker 1: their alcohol problems.
Speaker 2: She is.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I'm trying not to cough really really hard
Speaker 1: as I introduced Erica Mallory to the show. Erica, welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. I'm going to turn my mic off
Speaker 1: and cough for just a second. So tell people about
Speaker 1: Shameover dot me.
Speaker 2: Hellow, thank you, and I have been cough and NonStop,
Speaker 2: so I totally get it. I'm Erica, and Shameover is
Speaker 2: basically a program designed to help people, specifically women, but
Speaker 2: I do work with both to be able to drink
Speaker 2: less without having to say bye to the moos entirely.
Speaker 1: So where did this come from? How did you decide
Speaker 1: to start this?
Speaker 2: So, like many I found myself during the pandemic drinking
Speaker 2: a little bit more than I had been used to.
Speaker 2: It turned into kind of a daily drinking type thing
Speaker 2: and just didn't necessarily.
Speaker 3: Like where it was.
Speaker 2: I went online because you know, it's not necessarily a
Speaker 2: fun thing to talk about, and everything that I found
Speaker 2: was basically saying, if you're looking at ways to drink less.
Speaker 2: You're an alcoholic, you should never drink again. I did
Speaker 2: not feel like I was there. I never wanted to
Speaker 2: be there. So I figured I had the coaching certificate
Speaker 2: from my life coaching, Let's see if I can create
Speaker 2: something myself.
Speaker 3: I did, and it's been helping people ever since.
Speaker 1: I've talked on the show. I'm not a huge fan
Speaker 1: of mommy wine culture and the fact that it's sort
Speaker 1: of become this cultural phenomena. And I say that even
Speaker 1: as a person who enjoys wine. I'm not anti wine,
Speaker 1: but it seems like it got amplified into this lifestyle
Speaker 1: that is not necessarily healthy when in long term. So
Speaker 1: how do women come to you, How do they begin
Speaker 1: to recognize that maybe mommy wine culture has become a
Speaker 1: culture that they need to ratchet back.
Speaker 2: Yes, I was the first to like send the memes
Speaker 2: by the towels.
Speaker 3: You know, I totally get it and created some of it.
Speaker 3: I do sell chuckle at.
Speaker 2: But I actually had a point where my daughter, this
Speaker 2: is Darren Covid again, she was maybe eighteen months at
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 3: She brought me a wine glass and you.
Speaker 2: Know, here's an eighteen month old there's nothing in it.
Speaker 2: But she just saw a wine glass at a friend's
Speaker 2: house and credit to me like, oh here your mom,
Speaker 2: and I'm like this I don't.
Speaker 3: Like So that was actually kind of a big part
Speaker 3: of it.
Speaker 2: But I think for a lot of us women, I've
Speaker 2: noticed that it is the first time that we've made
Speaker 2: any time for ourselves during the day. And that is why, mommy,
Speaker 2: wine culture has become such a big thing, as we're
Speaker 2: prioritizing ourselves for that one moment, for us to have
Speaker 2: a drink, make a drink, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 3: So being able.
Speaker 2: To still keep that as part of the ritual but
Speaker 2: not necessarily making around alcohol is kind of a big thing.
Speaker 2: But as far as when people are coming to me,
Speaker 2: it's kind of a tricky thing because again, no one
Speaker 2: wants to talk about alcohol. If you have a problem
Speaker 2: with it, you feel the shame, the judgment that all
Speaker 2: of that. Yet it's everywhere we look and you're never
Speaker 2: supposed to have a problem with it. So it's that
Speaker 2: very fine balance of really, are you asking yourself like,
Speaker 2: am I drinking too much?
Speaker 3: Could I stop if I wanted to? What does that
Speaker 3: look like? And that's kind of how people typically find me.
Speaker 1: How do you know, if you are a person who
Speaker 1: can reasonably cut back on your alcohol, or if you're
Speaker 1: a person who really needs to not be drinking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great question, I am the biggest flavor.
Speaker 2: Moderation is not for everyone. There are absolutely people who
Speaker 2: should never touch a substance or other substances. That being said,
Speaker 2: a lot of us it is just become a very habitual,
Speaker 2: very mindless thing. And that's where you can kind of
Speaker 2: determine if moderation is possible for you or not ingranted.
Speaker 2: Whatever we practice, we get really good at and we've
Speaker 2: been practicing drinking for excuse me, practicing drinking for a
Speaker 2: long time. But if you're waking up, you know, drinking
Speaker 2: all day long, then yeah, my program, that type thing
Speaker 2: moderation probably is not for you, at least not at
Speaker 2: this point. But if it's just at a point to
Speaker 2: where maybe it's harder to find your off button, maybe
Speaker 2: your daily drinker, and you're trying to cut back and
Speaker 2: it's just it's a little bit more challenging, that's when
Speaker 2: moderation a lot of times still is possible.
Speaker 3: It's not all encompassing, all consuming.
Speaker 1: So what does your program look like for someone someone
Speaker 1: calls you and says, I really feel like I'm drinking
Speaker 1: more than I want to. What is this? How does
Speaker 1: this work?
Speaker 3: So there's a couple of different things.
Speaker 2: I have a boot camp called Lose the Hangar boot
Speaker 2: Camp where you can it's kind of self paced type thing.
Speaker 2: So a lot of times that's a great place for
Speaker 2: people to start, because again, if your judgment around this
Speaker 2: is such a big thing. And then I also work
Speaker 2: with women in a membership that's kind of group coaching.
Speaker 3: It is so powerful when you realize that you're not
Speaker 3: alone in this whole thing.
Speaker 2: But the biggest thing, and this is whether it's with alcohol,
Speaker 2: whether it's with eating, consumptions, consumption at the end of
Speaker 2: the day, and when people are starting to work on
Speaker 2: their drinking, a lot of times if they're not really
Speaker 2: doing the work, they're just like white knuckling it.
Speaker 3: It goes to eating, it goes to the amount.
Speaker 2: Of time they spend on social media or spinning on
Speaker 2: Amazon or whatever. So it really is all about understanding yourself,
Speaker 2: your triggers, why you're drinking, when you're drinking, what you're
Speaker 2: beliefs are around alcohol, and that's where you can really
Speaker 2: start to make the difference because you have that self
Speaker 2: awareness and that's what leads to kind of a mindfulness
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: That mindfulness part, I think is very interesting is because
Speaker 1: I've now reached a point in my life where physically
Speaker 1: alcohol is not my friend. It prevents me from sleeping,
Speaker 1: I don't feel well after it, but I still enjoy
Speaker 1: like a really good glass of wine, I still enjoy it.
Speaker 1: So I have to kind of strategically plan that. Right,
Speaker 1: if I have anything to do the next day, I'm
Speaker 1: not drinking anything. If I have anything important, it has
Speaker 1: to be a mindful choice because for me physically it
Speaker 1: just doesn't work anymore. Is that kind of what you're
Speaker 1: looking at? Like, are you promoting strategies or you know
Speaker 1: you're going to a Christmas party? So maybe I mean
Speaker 1: how the practicality, I guess is what I'm asking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, and that is I mean all of us
Speaker 2: are different, especially women as we're aging, it is impacting
Speaker 2: us differently than it did.
Speaker 3: Yes, it impacts men too, but just women in our carmones.
Speaker 2: It's a completely different beast. But it really depends wherever
Speaker 2: you are on the journey. And if it is that
Speaker 2: you just don't want to drink at all, if you
Speaker 2: just want to be able to have better conversation or
Speaker 2: know that you can socialize and still have fun without it,
Speaker 2: or maybe it's still being able to have that glass
Speaker 2: of wine when you're out, but being able to stop
Speaker 2: at one or two. So it really just depends where
Speaker 2: you are, and a lot of times that's understanding where
Speaker 2: you are, because when things like dry January, for example,
Speaker 2: which is right around the corner.
Speaker 3: People just isolate.
Speaker 2: They keep themselves at home, they shut off any triggers,
Speaker 2: try to reduce all stress, and they're either white knuckling
Speaker 2: it or they're just you know, avoiding everything. But come
Speaker 2: the first weeknd in February, everything is back and it's
Speaker 2: almost like they're making up for lost time, right, And
Speaker 2: that is so detrimental for our help physically, mentally, all
Speaker 2: of that. So this is where it's really again, understanding.
Speaker 3: Where you are and meeting yourself where you.
Speaker 2: Are instead of having these completely unrealistic goals, then falling short,
Speaker 2: feeling like a failure again, and then the vicious cycle
Speaker 2: just keeps going.
Speaker 1: Do you have people that come to you and after
Speaker 1: working the program and doing the program, they decide, I
Speaker 1: do need to quit drinking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've had to make that recommendation to a
Speaker 2: person or too, just letting them know.
Speaker 3: You know, for me, we all know deep down.
Speaker 2: If it's possible for us. Sometimes we do need help
Speaker 2: understanding that. But it needs to be from someone that
Speaker 2: you trust, that you know truly has your back, not
Speaker 2: you know. A lot of times family that's too close,
Speaker 2: there's too much that it has been mixed there. But
Speaker 2: a lot of times when people are coming to me,
Speaker 2: they aren't at that point to where they need just
Speaker 2: completely to stop, but they never wanted to get there.
Speaker 1: Right right, My guest has a wonderful program, shameover dot Me.
Speaker 1: I put a link to Eric Mallory's website. So if
Speaker 1: you're hearing yourself in this situation and you're hearing you
Speaker 1: know what, maybe she's got a point. Maybe I'm drinking
Speaker 1: more than I'd like to, and I'm not quite sure
Speaker 1: how to do that, I would strongly recommend you click
Speaker 1: over and taking control of any sort of substance use
Speaker 1: is a very empowering thing to do. And if you
Speaker 1: want to really like tackle twenty twenty five where there
Speaker 1: you know, a vengeance and make it your year, then
Speaker 1: perhaps this might be a program to help you do that.
Speaker 1: I love this. I mean I've I've been very lucky
Speaker 1: in that I've never felt like I had a drinking problem.
Speaker 1: I'm just I don't have that particular addictive personality. But boy,
Speaker 1: I've seen what it can do to so many other
Speaker 1: people in my life. So anything like this, that babystep
Speaker 1: can help you get it. I support it.
Speaker 2: Eric.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate you giving us time today about.
Speaker 3: This we alsome. Thank you so much. Appreciate you for
Speaker 3: having me. All right.
Speaker 1: That's Erica Mallory. You can find her website shameover dot me,
Speaker 1: shameover dot m E and I put a link to
Speaker 1: it on the blog today as well.