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<v Speaker 1>So I guess with us now, who is doing something

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<v Speaker 1>that's a little bit different than what you might think

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<v Speaker 1>of when you hear someone talking about helping people with

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<v Speaker 1>their alcohol problems.

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<v Speaker 2>She is.

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<v Speaker 1>Excuse me, I'm trying not to cough really really hard

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<v Speaker 1>as I introduced Erica Mallory to the show. Erica, welcome

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<v Speaker 1>to the show. I'm going to turn my mic off

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<v Speaker 1>and cough for just a second. So tell people about

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<v Speaker 1>Shameover dot me.

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<v Speaker 2>Hellow, thank you, and I have been cough and NonStop,

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<v Speaker 2>so I totally get it. I'm Erica, and Shameover is

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<v Speaker 2>basically a program designed to help people, specifically women, but

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<v Speaker 2>I do work with both to be able to drink

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<v Speaker 2>less without having to say bye to the moos entirely.

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<v Speaker 1>So where did this come from? How did you decide

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<v Speaker 1>to start this?

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<v Speaker 2>So, like many I found myself during the pandemic drinking

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit more than I had been used to.

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<v Speaker 2>It turned into kind of a daily drinking type thing

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<v Speaker 2>and just didn't necessarily.

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<v Speaker 3>Like where it was.

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<v Speaker 2>I went online because you know, it's not necessarily a

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<v Speaker 2>fun thing to talk about, and everything that I found

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<v Speaker 2>was basically saying, if you're looking at ways to drink less.

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<v Speaker 2>You're an alcoholic, you should never drink again. I did

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<v Speaker 2>not feel like I was there. I never wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>be there. So I figured I had the coaching certificate

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<v Speaker 2>from my life coaching, Let's see if I can create

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<v Speaker 2>something myself.

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<v Speaker 3>I did, and it's been helping people ever since.

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<v Speaker 1>I've talked on the show. I'm not a huge fan

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<v Speaker 1>of mommy wine culture and the fact that it's sort

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<v Speaker 1>of become this cultural phenomena. And I say that even

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<v Speaker 1>as a person who enjoys wine. I'm not anti wine,

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<v Speaker 1>but it seems like it got amplified into this lifestyle

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<v Speaker 1>that is not necessarily healthy when in long term. So

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<v Speaker 1>how do women come to you, How do they begin

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<v Speaker 1>to recognize that maybe mommy wine culture has become a

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<v Speaker 1>culture that they need to ratchet back.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I was the first to like send the memes

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<v Speaker 2>by the towels.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I totally get it and created some of it.

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<v Speaker 3>I do sell chuckle at.

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<v Speaker 2>But I actually had a point where my daughter, this

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<v Speaker 2>is Darren Covid again, she was maybe eighteen months at

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<v Speaker 2>the time.

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<v Speaker 3>She brought me a wine glass and you.

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<v Speaker 2>Know, here's an eighteen month old there's nothing in it.

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<v Speaker 2>But she just saw a wine glass at a friend's

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<v Speaker 2>house and credit to me like, oh here your mom,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like this I don't.

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<v Speaker 3>Like So that was actually kind of a big part

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<v Speaker 3>of it.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think for a lot of us women, I've

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<v Speaker 2>noticed that it is the first time that we've made

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<v Speaker 2>any time for ourselves during the day. And that is why, mommy,

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<v Speaker 2>wine culture has become such a big thing, as we're

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<v Speaker 2>prioritizing ourselves for that one moment, for us to have

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<v Speaker 2>a drink, make a drink, whatever that looks like.

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<v Speaker 3>So being able.

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<v Speaker 2>To still keep that as part of the ritual but

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<v Speaker 2>not necessarily making around alcohol is kind of a big thing.

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<v Speaker 2>But as far as when people are coming to me,

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<v Speaker 2>it's kind of a tricky thing because again, no one

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<v Speaker 2>wants to talk about alcohol. If you have a problem

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<v Speaker 2>with it, you feel the shame, the judgment that all

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<v Speaker 2>of that. Yet it's everywhere we look and you're never

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<v Speaker 2>supposed to have a problem with it. So it's that

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<v Speaker 2>very fine balance of really, are you asking yourself like,

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<v Speaker 2>am I drinking too much?

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<v Speaker 3>Could I stop if I wanted to? What does that

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<v Speaker 3>look like? And that's kind of how people typically find me.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you know, if you are a person who

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<v Speaker 1>can reasonably cut back on your alcohol, or if you're

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<v Speaker 1>a person who really needs to not be drinking.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's a great question, I am the biggest flavor.

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<v Speaker 2>Moderation is not for everyone. There are absolutely people who

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<v Speaker 2>should never touch a substance or other substances. That being said,

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of us it is just become a very habitual,

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<v Speaker 2>very mindless thing. And that's where you can kind of

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<v Speaker 2>determine if moderation is possible for you or not ingranted.

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<v Speaker 2>Whatever we practice, we get really good at and we've

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<v Speaker 2>been practicing drinking for excuse me, practicing drinking for a

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<v Speaker 2>long time. But if you're waking up, you know, drinking

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<v Speaker 2>all day long, then yeah, my program, that type thing

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<v Speaker 2>moderation probably is not for you, at least not at

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<v Speaker 2>this point. But if it's just at a point to

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<v Speaker 2>where maybe it's harder to find your off button, maybe

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<v Speaker 2>your daily drinker, and you're trying to cut back and

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<v Speaker 2>it's just it's a little bit more challenging, that's when

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<v Speaker 2>moderation a lot of times still is possible.

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<v Speaker 3>It's not all encompassing, all consuming.

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<v Speaker 1>So what does your program look like for someone someone

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<v Speaker 1>calls you and says, I really feel like I'm drinking

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<v Speaker 1>more than I want to. What is this? How does

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<v Speaker 1>this work?

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<v Speaker 3>So there's a couple of different things.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a boot camp called Lose the Hangar boot

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<v Speaker 2>Camp where you can it's kind of self paced type thing.

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<v Speaker 2>So a lot of times that's a great place for

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<v Speaker 2>people to start, because again, if your judgment around this

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<v Speaker 2>is such a big thing. And then I also work

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<v Speaker 2>with women in a membership that's kind of group coaching.

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<v Speaker 3>It is so powerful when you realize that you're not

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<v Speaker 3>alone in this whole thing.

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<v Speaker 2>But the biggest thing, and this is whether it's with alcohol,

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<v Speaker 2>whether it's with eating, consumptions, consumption at the end of

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<v Speaker 2>the day, and when people are starting to work on

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<v Speaker 2>their drinking, a lot of times if they're not really

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<v Speaker 2>doing the work, they're just like white knuckling it.

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<v Speaker 3>It goes to eating, it goes to the amount.

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<v Speaker 2>Of time they spend on social media or spinning on

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<v Speaker 2>Amazon or whatever. So it really is all about understanding yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>your triggers, why you're drinking, when you're drinking, what you're

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<v Speaker 2>beliefs are around alcohol, and that's where you can really

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<v Speaker 2>start to make the difference because you have that self

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<v Speaker 2>awareness and that's what leads to kind of a mindfulness

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<v Speaker 2>with it.

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<v Speaker 1>That mindfulness part, I think is very interesting is because

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<v Speaker 1>I've now reached a point in my life where physically

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<v Speaker 1>alcohol is not my friend. It prevents me from sleeping,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't feel well after it, but I still enjoy

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<v Speaker 1>like a really good glass of wine, I still enjoy it.

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<v Speaker 1>So I have to kind of strategically plan that. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>if I have anything to do the next day, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not drinking anything. If I have anything important, it has

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<v Speaker 1>to be a mindful choice because for me physically it

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<v Speaker 1>just doesn't work anymore. Is that kind of what you're

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<v Speaker 1>looking at? Like, are you promoting strategies or you know

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to a Christmas party? So maybe I mean

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<v Speaker 1>how the practicality, I guess is what I'm asking.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely, and that is I mean all of us

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<v Speaker 2>are different, especially women as we're aging, it is impacting

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<v Speaker 2>us differently than it did.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, it impacts men too, but just women in our carmones.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a completely different beast. But it really depends wherever

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<v Speaker 2>you are on the journey. And if it is that

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<v Speaker 2>you just don't want to drink at all, if you

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<v Speaker 2>just want to be able to have better conversation or

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<v Speaker 2>know that you can socialize and still have fun without it,

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe it's still being able to have that glass

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<v Speaker 2>of wine when you're out, but being able to stop

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<v Speaker 2>at one or two. So it really just depends where

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<v Speaker 2>you are, and a lot of times that's understanding where

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<v Speaker 2>you are, because when things like dry January, for example,

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<v Speaker 2>which is right around the corner.

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<v Speaker 3>People just isolate.

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<v Speaker 2>They keep themselves at home, they shut off any triggers,

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<v Speaker 2>try to reduce all stress, and they're either white knuckling

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<v Speaker 2>it or they're just you know, avoiding everything. But come

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<v Speaker 2>the first weeknd in February, everything is back and it's

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<v Speaker 2>almost like they're making up for lost time, right, And

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<v Speaker 2>that is so detrimental for our help physically, mentally, all

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<v Speaker 2>of that. So this is where it's really again, understanding.

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<v Speaker 3>Where you are and meeting yourself where you.

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<v Speaker 2>Are instead of having these completely unrealistic goals, then falling short,

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<v Speaker 2>feeling like a failure again, and then the vicious cycle

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<v Speaker 2>just keeps going.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have people that come to you and after

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<v Speaker 1>working the program and doing the program, they decide, I

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<v Speaker 1>do need to quit drinking.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I've had to make that recommendation to a

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<v Speaker 2>person or too, just letting them know.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, for me, we all know deep down.

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<v Speaker 2>If it's possible for us. Sometimes we do need help

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<v Speaker 2>understanding that. But it needs to be from someone that

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<v Speaker 2>you trust, that you know truly has your back, not

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<v Speaker 2>you know. A lot of times family that's too close,

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<v Speaker 2>there's too much that it has been mixed there. But

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of times when people are coming to me,

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<v Speaker 2>they aren't at that point to where they need just

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<v Speaker 2>completely to stop, but they never wanted to get there.

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<v Speaker 1>Right right, My guest has a wonderful program, shameover dot Me.

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<v Speaker 1>I put a link to Eric Mallory's website. So if

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<v Speaker 1>you're hearing yourself in this situation and you're hearing you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, maybe she's got a point. Maybe I'm drinking

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<v Speaker 1>more than I'd like to, and I'm not quite sure

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<v Speaker 1>how to do that, I would strongly recommend you click

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<v Speaker 1>over and taking control of any sort of substance use

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<v Speaker 1>is a very empowering thing to do. And if you

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<v Speaker 1>want to really like tackle twenty twenty five where there

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<v Speaker 1>you know, a vengeance and make it your year, then

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<v Speaker 1>perhaps this might be a program to help you do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I love this. I mean I've I've been very lucky

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<v Speaker 1>in that I've never felt like I had a drinking problem.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just I don't have that particular addictive personality. But boy,

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<v Speaker 1>I've seen what it can do to so many other

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<v Speaker 1>people in my life. So anything like this, that babystep

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<v Speaker 1>can help you get it. I support it.

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<v Speaker 2>Eric.

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<v Speaker 1>I really appreciate you giving us time today about.

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<v Speaker 3>This we alsome. Thank you so much. Appreciate you for

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<v Speaker 3>having me. All right.

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<v Speaker 1>That's Erica Mallory. You can find her website shameover dot me,

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<v Speaker 1>shameover dot m E and I put a link to

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<v Speaker 1>it on the blog today as well.