WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.520 --> 00:00:03.759 He gave her the world, and she shattered it. A man, 2 00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:07.599 heart broken and betrayed, sits in silent agony. How many 3 00:00:07.599 --> 00:00:11.199 men have lived this story, worshiping a woman, believing love 4 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:14.400 to be pure magic, only to watch their dreams crumble. 5 00:00:15.240 --> 00:00:19.239 How many warnings must go unheeded. One man did warn 6 00:00:19.320 --> 00:00:23.600 us almost two hundred years ago. His name was Arthur Schopenhauer, 7 00:00:23.839 --> 00:00:27.239 and he tried to reveal a truth most refused to see. 8 00:00:27.519 --> 00:00:30.679 Schopenhauer warned men about the illusions of love and the 9 00:00:30.760 --> 00:00:33.920 nature of women, but his words fell on deaf ears. 10 00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:38.840 To day, we will finally listen. Romantic love. We are 11 00:00:38.920 --> 00:00:42.880 told its life's greatest treasure. From boyhood, men have fed 12 00:00:42.920 --> 00:00:47.719 on tales of knights and princesses, soulmates, and happily ever after, 13 00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:52.000 we dive in head first, hearts on fire, convinced that 14 00:00:52.039 --> 00:00:55.000 this woman before us is an angel who will complete 15 00:00:55.039 --> 00:01:00.439 our life. Love songs, movies, and poems glorify it endlessly. 16 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:03.520 When we're not in love, we're chasing it. When we 17 00:01:03.560 --> 00:01:06.840 are in love, we're consumed by it. When we lose love, 18 00:01:06.879 --> 00:01:11.120 we fall apart. It dominates our conversations and dreams. How 19 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:15.519 could something that feels so grand be a lie. Schopenhauer 20 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:19.239 asked the same question in his time. Why all this noise, 21 00:01:19.480 --> 00:01:22.760 Why all this crowding anguish and want? Why should such 22 00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:27.040 a trifle create so much disturbance, He mused to the 23 00:01:27.079 --> 00:01:30.439 love struck man, heartbreak seems like the end of the world. 24 00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:33.519 To the outside observer, it might look like much ado 25 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:38.879 about nothing, a trifle. But Schopenhauer answers emphatically, it is 26 00:01:38.959 --> 00:01:42.239 not a trifle at all. In truth, the stakes of 27 00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:46.120 love are the highest in human life. The dramas of love, 28 00:01:46.439 --> 00:01:51.000 the ecstasy, the jealousy, the despair, are so intense because 29 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:55.280 something far deeper is on the line. Every love affair, 30 00:01:55.599 --> 00:01:59.680 whether comic or tragic, has an ultimate aim, more important 31 00:01:59.719 --> 00:02:03.319 than all other aims in human life. That aim is 32 00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:07.560 life itself, the continuation of the human race. This is 33 00:02:07.599 --> 00:02:11.199 why love can feel like heaven or hell. It's why 34 00:02:11.240 --> 00:02:15.719 men have moved mountains, written epics, and even waged wars 35 00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:19.919 for love. Schopenhauer dryly notes that the welfare of whole 36 00:02:20.039 --> 00:02:23.800 nations has sometimes been sacrificed to the caprices of love. 37 00:02:24.680 --> 00:02:29.039 We sense unconsciously that something profound hangs in the balance. 38 00:02:30.159 --> 00:02:35.439 But what to find the answer, Schopenhaower pierces the romantic 39 00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:40.520 veil and exposes the hidden force behind our passions. Schopenhauer's 40 00:02:40.520 --> 00:02:44.599 philosophy gives us a shockingly candid explanation of romantic love. 41 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:49.319 Beneath all the poetry and sweetness, love is a biologically 42 00:02:49.439 --> 00:02:54.199 driven trick. According to Schopenhauer, every creature is driven by 43 00:02:54.240 --> 00:02:57.800 an irrational, unrelenting force. He calls the will to life, 44 00:02:58.520 --> 00:03:03.120 an instinctual will to survive and reproduce. This will doesn't 45 00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:07.240 care about art, justice, or even individual happiness. It only 46 00:03:07.240 --> 00:03:10.919 cares about life continuing itself, and it will drive us 47 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:16.159 blindly to that end. In Schopenhauer's words, romantic love is 48 00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:19.759 the puppet of the will to life. We think our 49 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:24.159 love is a personal, sacred feeling, but in reality it's 50 00:03:24.360 --> 00:03:28.800 entirely based on the desire to reproduce and propagate the species. 51 00:03:29.800 --> 00:03:34.120 Love is nature's bait, a sweet illusion to ensure we 52 00:03:34.159 --> 00:03:39.680 fulfill our biological mission. Reproduction is the ultimate purpose of 53 00:03:39.719 --> 00:03:44.960 every organism and its strongest instinct. Schopenhower writes, So when 54 00:03:44.960 --> 00:03:47.599 you fall madly in love, when you obsess over her 55 00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:51.039 above all else, it's not a cosmic destiny at work. 56 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:54.680 It's your instincts sizing up a good potential mother for 57 00:03:54.719 --> 00:03:58.840 your children. As harsh as it sounds, Nature doesn't give 58 00:03:58.840 --> 00:04:02.319 a damn about your happily ever after. It only wants 59 00:04:02.360 --> 00:04:07.520 the next generation. Schopenhauer paints a striking picture the individual 60 00:04:07.879 --> 00:04:12.080 versus the species. The genius of the species is at 61 00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:16.199 continual warfare with the genius of the individual. He says, 62 00:04:17.120 --> 00:04:21.279 it will destroy your personal happiness without hesitation to carry 63 00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:25.199 out its ends. Think about that, the very force that 64 00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:28.360 makes you feel so happy in love will just as 65 00:04:28.360 --> 00:04:31.680 soon ruin you if it serves the larger purpose. All 66 00:04:31.720 --> 00:04:36.040 those promises of forever Nature will break them the moment 67 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:39.399 they're no longer needed. In this war, all is fair, 68 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:44.399 even deception. Schopenhauer reveals the secret Nature achieves its aims 69 00:04:44.600 --> 00:04:48.399 by illusion. Nature attains her ends by implanting in the 70 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:51.680 individual a certain illusion, by which something that is only 71 00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:55.560 advantageous to the species seems to be advantageous to himself. 72 00:04:56.519 --> 00:05:01.439 This illusion is instinct, he writes, in plain terms, we 73 00:05:01.480 --> 00:05:04.639 are tricked into chasing what the species needs, thinking it's 74 00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:07.759 what we need. We believe we seek personal joy and love, 75 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:11.000 but really we're unwittingly serving the immortal life force of 76 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:14.639 nature at our own expense. It's a brutal realization that 77 00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:18.560 dizzying romance, its soul stirring love that made you feel 78 00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:22.279 on top of the world. It was never about your happiness. 79 00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:25.639 It was nature's ploy to get you to bind yourself 80 00:05:25.639 --> 00:05:28.560 to a woman and create new life. And once that 81 00:05:28.639 --> 00:05:34.360 goal is achieved, the curtain often falls. The illusion necessarily 82 00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:37.519 vanishes directly once the end of the species has been attained. 83 00:05:37.800 --> 00:05:41.879 Note Schopenhauer, how many couples have felt this, the passion 84 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:45.360 fading after a child is born, the relationship straining under 85 00:05:45.399 --> 00:05:48.920 the weight of reality. The devil's laughter is heard after 86 00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:52.959 the act of love, as Schopenhau equips, in that moment 87 00:05:53.079 --> 00:05:57.639 of post romantic clarity, we often feel a strange emptiness 88 00:05:57.720 --> 00:06:03.800 or sadness. Science even names this post coital tristes, the 89 00:06:03.879 --> 00:06:07.639 sadness after sex, and it happens to men more often 90 00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:12.519 than women. Schopenhauer would say, it's no mystery, it's the 91 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:17.160 will momentarily letting you glimpse the truth of your condition. 92 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:21.519 You have served Nature's purpose, and now you wonder what 93 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:26.680 was I thinking? The bliss was brief the aftermath sobering. 94 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:32.319 If love is an illusion nature uses, what about women themselves. 95 00:06:32.759 --> 00:06:37.920 Schopenhauer's view here is unapologetically blunt, even controversial. He saw 96 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:41.439 women as the instrument of nature's will, designed to entice 97 00:06:41.480 --> 00:06:44.720 and ensnare men for the sake of reproduction. It's not 98 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.959 a flattering picture, but remember his aim was to reveal 99 00:06:48.120 --> 00:06:53.519 uncomfortable truths. Schopenhauer observes that nature arms each creature for 100 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:57.920 its role. For women, Nature's strategy is a striking effect. 101 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:00.959 He writes that young women are endowed for just a 102 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:04.879 few short years with an abundance of beauty and fullness 103 00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:09.079 of charm at the expense of the rest of their lives. 104 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:13.759 Why so that during those peak years they can ensnare 105 00:07:13.800 --> 00:07:16.800 the fantasy of a man to such a degree that 106 00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:19.879 he is driven to commit to her for life. A 107 00:07:19.959 --> 00:07:22.959 man under the spell of a young woman's beauty will 108 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:26.279 rush into taking care of her for a lifetime, signing 109 00:07:26.399 --> 00:07:32.680 himself up to provide and protect. Schopenhauer coldly notes this 110 00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:35.720 is a step that no man would take if he 111 00:07:35.800 --> 00:07:40.120 calmly considered it rationally, no man in his right mind 112 00:07:40.120 --> 00:07:43.199 would volunteer to bear the heavy burdens of a family 113 00:07:43.240 --> 00:07:47.600 and marriage if he only considered the matter. Yet countless 114 00:07:47.600 --> 00:07:51.680 men do because they are not considering it. They are entranced. 115 00:07:52.199 --> 00:07:55.920 Nature has cast the spell well, and once the deed 116 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:01.240 is done, nature economizes. Just as a feemal ant after 117 00:08:01.319 --> 00:08:04.839 mating sheds her wings, which are now not only useless 118 00:08:04.839 --> 00:08:07.839 but would be dangerous to her task of breeding, so 119 00:08:07.959 --> 00:08:11.360 does a woman often lose her youthful beauty after producing 120 00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:15.879 a child or two. That blossom of charm fades. In 121 00:08:15.959 --> 00:08:19.399 Schopenhauer's era, it was often remarked how a woman's looks 122 00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:24.399 decline post pregnancy. The very allure that captivated him was temporary, 123 00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:28.600 just long enough to secure a partner and procreate. What 124 00:08:28.759 --> 00:08:32.720 seemed to a man as eternal beauty was, in Schopenhauer's eyes, 125 00:08:33.159 --> 00:08:37.639 a calculated bait with an expiration date. Nature needed her 126 00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:40.759 to attract you. It doesn't need her to stay gorgeous 127 00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:45.120 after the children arrive. This sounds terribly cynical, as if 128 00:08:45.159 --> 00:08:49.200 women intend to deceive, but Schopenhauer is not exactly blaming 129 00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:53.320 individual women. He's exposing the biological program they themselves are 130 00:08:53.320 --> 00:08:58.159 subject to. In his view, women are wired differently from 131 00:08:58.200 --> 00:09:02.159 men for a reason. Their lives, from anatomy to psychology, 132 00:09:02.559 --> 00:09:05.759 are shaped by the imperative of child bearing and rearing. 133 00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:09.360 One need only look at a woman's shape to see 134 00:09:09.399 --> 00:09:13.080 she isn't built for great physical or mental labour, he wrote. 135 00:09:13.279 --> 00:09:17.039 She pays the debt of life by what she suffers childbirth, 136 00:09:17.519 --> 00:09:22.120 care for children, and submission to a man. Thus nature 137 00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:26.320 made her fitting to nurture the young. Women are adapted 138 00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:29.720 to be nurses and educators of early childhood, and for 139 00:09:29.759 --> 00:09:35.080 that very reason, they themselves are childish, foolish, and short sighted, 140 00:09:35.399 --> 00:09:40.440 in a word, big children all their lives. This provocative 141 00:09:40.519 --> 00:09:44.679 claim means that women, in Schopenhauer's eyes, think and behave 142 00:09:44.759 --> 00:09:49.080 more like children, living in the moment, focusing on trivialities 143 00:09:49.279 --> 00:09:53.799 and not engaging in abstract or long term thinking. They 144 00:09:53.840 --> 00:09:56.919 always see only what is near at hand, cling to 145 00:09:56.960 --> 00:10:00.000 the present, take the appearance of a thing for reality, 146 00:10:00.519 --> 00:10:04.039 and prefer trifling matters to the most important, He says 147 00:10:04.039 --> 00:10:09.879 of women. Men, by contrast, mature later, but develop stronger reasoning, 148 00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:14.879 pondering past and future, building principles and long range goals. 149 00:10:15.480 --> 00:10:18.559 What happens then, when a rational man falls in love, 150 00:10:19.000 --> 00:10:24.519 he loses his reason, the will's illusion overwhelms him. Schopenhauer 151 00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:28.399 notes that women usually remain more practical and sober in judgment. 152 00:10:29.039 --> 00:10:31.559 They see a man for what he is, with an 153 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:35.240 eye to how he can serve their needs. But a 154 00:10:35.240 --> 00:10:39.919 man in love often cannot see clearly at all. Women 155 00:10:40.039 --> 00:10:44.120 see nothing beyond what is really there, while we men, 156 00:10:44.279 --> 00:10:47.639 if our passions are roused, slightly exaggerate and add to 157 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:53.320 our imagination. Schopenhauer remarks, the man projects virtues onto the woman. 158 00:10:53.720 --> 00:10:57.840 He idealizes her into a goddess. He might overlook her flaws, 159 00:10:58.159 --> 00:11:01.600 overrate her qualities, and fool himself that she is different 160 00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:05.440 from all others, perfect and pure. He is effectively under 161 00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:10.879 a spell. Meanwhile, the woman, guided by practicality or instinct, 162 00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:13.759 may simply be securing a mate who can provide for 163 00:11:13.840 --> 00:11:18.799 her and her future children. To Schopenhauer, the man lives 164 00:11:18.840 --> 00:11:21.679 in a beautiful dream, the woman perhaps in a more 165 00:11:21.720 --> 00:11:26.960 grounded reality. This imbalance sets the stage for great disappointment. 166 00:11:27.480 --> 00:11:30.759 Schopenhauer goes even further in describing the character of women 167 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:34.200 as shaped by nature's ends. Since women are the weaker 168 00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:38.200 sex physically, he argues, nature equip them not with strength 169 00:11:38.440 --> 00:11:42.600 or fairness, but with cunning. Nature has not destined them 170 00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:46.840 to depend on strength but on cunning, hence their instinctive 171 00:11:46.919 --> 00:11:51.879 craftiness and irrepressible tendency to lie. He writes, a harsh 172 00:11:51.919 --> 00:11:58.120 indictment ineradicable tendency to lie. In Schopenhauer's view, women instinctively 173 00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:02.159 use deception to secure advice vantages, much like a creature 174 00:12:02.279 --> 00:12:08.240 using camouflage. It's not that every woman consciously plots. Rather, 175 00:12:08.759 --> 00:12:13.000 nature uses the woman's wiles to achieve its goals. On 176 00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:17.159 the other hand, men endowed with stronger reason developed a 177 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:22.600 greater sense of justice, honor, and principled behavior. Men expect 178 00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:27.200 agreements to be kept, sacrifices to be repaid, loyalty to 179 00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:31.200 be mutual. Those are male assumptions born of thinking in 180 00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:36.559 abstract principles. Schopenhauer believed women do not share this same 181 00:12:36.679 --> 00:12:42.120 moral earnestness because their role did not require it for survival. Thus, 182 00:12:42.440 --> 00:12:46.519 he famously wrote, the fundamental fault of woman's character is 183 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:50.919 the lack of a sense of justice, truth, honor, fairness. 184 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:54.679 These may be bent or discarded by a woman when 185 00:12:54.679 --> 00:12:59.039 her instincts or interests dictate, says Schopenhauer, whether we agree 186 00:12:59.159 --> 00:13:01.399 or not, can sider what this means. For a man 187 00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:06.080 deeply invested in romantic ideals, he expects his beloved to 188 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:09.120 be an angel of loyalty and virtue. As he imagines her, 189 00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:13.120 he cannot fathom that she might deceive him, leave him, 190 00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:15.639 or use him. After all, he would never do that 191 00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:18.840 to her right And yet how often do we see 192 00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:22.879 men shocked by infidelity, or by a spouse's coldness in divorce, 193 00:13:23.320 --> 00:13:28.639 or by gold digging manipulations. To Schopenhauer, the tragedy is 194 00:13:28.679 --> 00:13:32.279 almost predictable. The man let his guard down under the 195 00:13:32.279 --> 00:13:36.759 illusion of love, forgetting that nature, not sentiment, rules the game. 196 00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:43.039 The woman, consciously or not, follows nature's script attract secure resources, protection, 197 00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:47.720 insure survival, and if that means feigning extra affection or 198 00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:50.600 breaking a promise when it no longer benefits her, so 199 00:13:50.759 --> 00:13:55.039 be it. The naive man is left devastated, thinking I 200 00:13:55.200 --> 00:13:59.600 never thought she could do this. He feels utterly betrayed 201 00:13:59.639 --> 00:14:03.080 because he projected his own ideals onto her, ignoring the 202 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:08.240 reality of her nature. This is the dark picture Schopenhauer paints. 203 00:14:09.080 --> 00:14:13.639 It is not pretty or polite, it's downright brutal. Yet 204 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:17.840 as he would argue, it is reality unmasked, and seeing 205 00:14:17.879 --> 00:14:21.159 reality clearly is ultimately better than living in a comforting 206 00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:24.279 lie if one knows what to do with the truth. 207 00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:28.759 Given this philosophy, it's no surprise that men fall into 208 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:31.720 trap after trap when it comes to women and love. 209 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:37.279 Let's shine a light on these psychological snares and how 210 00:14:37.320 --> 00:14:42.519 Schopenhauer's insight can help spring them. Idolizing women, men often 211 00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:46.360 put women on a pedestal, adoring them as flawless goddesses. 212 00:14:47.399 --> 00:14:51.919 Under love's intoxicating effect, a man exaggerates a woman's virtues 213 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:56.360 and ignores her flaws. He convinces himself she's not like 214 00:14:56.440 --> 00:15:02.120 the others, She's perfect. This idealzation is a trap. He 215 00:15:02.200 --> 00:15:05.120 is not loving a real person anymore, but an illusion 216 00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:09.480 of his own making. When reality emerges, he is crushed. 217 00:15:10.480 --> 00:15:14.120 Schopenhauer's warning, see her as a human, not an angel. 218 00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:18.399 Recognize this tendency to project perfection as a delusion of 219 00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:25.960 your passion, mental blindness, losing rationality. Love is often called 220 00:15:26.039 --> 00:15:30.240 blind for a reason. Schopenhauer compares its effect to a drug. 221 00:15:30.559 --> 00:15:34.200 It clouds your judgment and suspends your intellect. A normally 222 00:15:34.240 --> 00:15:37.799 sensible man can make wildly irrational choices under the sway 223 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:43.879 of romance, marrying hastily, abandoning responsibilities, trusting someone he barely knows. 224 00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:49.879 This madness is nature's way of pushing you forward. Schopenhauer's warning. 225 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:53.639 Understand that when you're madly in love, you're literally not 226 00:15:53.720 --> 00:15:58.039 thinking straight. Important decisions should wait until you can think clearly, 227 00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:03.919 lest you chain yourself to a misas sacrificing self and purpose. 228 00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:09.720 Men frequently sacrifice their own ambitions, friendships, and even dignity 229 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:13.440 to maintain a woman's affection. You might change your life's 230 00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:17.080 course to fit her needs, give up hobbies, pour out money, 231 00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:20.600 all in the name of love. While compromises part of 232 00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:25.960 any relationship, losing yourself entirely is a grave trap. Nature 233 00:16:25.960 --> 00:16:29.039 doesn't care if you fulfill your dreams. It cares that 234 00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:34.480 you provide for its dreams the children Schopenhauer's warning, do 235 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:39.159 not surrender everything to the illusion. A man must retain 236 00:16:39.240 --> 00:16:42.759 his sense of self and purpose beyond the relationship, or 237 00:16:42.799 --> 00:16:46.759 he may have nothing when the illusion fades. Believing in 238 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:50.360 the myth of equal devotion, a man often assumes that 239 00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:53.639 the love he gives will be returned in kind. If 240 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:57.120 I am faithful, loving, and sacrifice for her, she will 241 00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:00.679 do the same for me. But if Schopenhaur is right, 242 00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:04.880 men and women love differently. He may love with an 243 00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:09.079 idealistic devotion, while she loves more practically guided by what 244 00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:14.440 is advantageous to her and potential offspring. When circumstances change, 245 00:17:14.720 --> 00:17:18.039 say he loses status or she finds a better provider, 246 00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:21.960 her feelings may change as well. The man who believed 247 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:25.640 in unconditional love is left heartbroken, asking how could she 248 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:30.799 do this? Schopenhauer's warning, don't assume the other side loves 249 00:17:30.839 --> 00:17:34.480 with the same philosophical loyalty you might. Her instincts can 250 00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:40.000 override sentiment in plain terms, be realistic. Love can be genuine, 251 00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:45.200 but it's often conditional, chasing beauty, ignoring its ephemeral nature. 252 00:17:46.039 --> 00:17:50.960 Men are notoriously susceptible to visual beauty. Many have walked 253 00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:55.400 into ruin following a pretty face. Schopenhauer starkly reminds us 254 00:17:55.400 --> 00:17:59.839 that beauty is a wasting asset, nature's temporary trap. A 255 00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:03.119 man who marries only because a woman is stunning will 256 00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:08.720 later lament as beauty unavoidably fades. If there was nothing deeper, 257 00:18:09.079 --> 00:18:12.680 what remains. Yet Nature counts on the fact that in 258 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:19.640 youth spring desire overwhelms foresight Schopenhauer's warning, Enjoy beauty, but 259 00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:23.160 do not be enslaved by it. Know that a lifelong 260 00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:26.559 commitment based purely on a fleeting attribute is a bargain 261 00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:30.480 your bound to regret. Look beyond the surface, or be 262 00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:35.160 prepared for disillusionment when age has its way emotional dependency. 263 00:18:36.359 --> 00:18:39.039 Perhaps the most painful trap is making a woman the 264 00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:42.880 sole center of your happiness. Men can fall into thinking 265 00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:47.119 that without her, I am nothing. This total emotional dependence 266 00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:51.160 is catastrophic. When that relationship ends, the man finds himself 267 00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:57.319 utterly lost. His confidence, social life, and mental stability may crumble. Schopenhauer, 268 00:18:57.480 --> 00:19:00.559 a profound pessimist about finding true happiness in the world, 269 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:03.680 would say no person should stake their entire will to 270 00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:09.279 live on another. Schopenhauer's warning, love, but don't lose yourself. 271 00:19:10.359 --> 00:19:14.519 Retain independence of mind and heart. If your entire world 272 00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:17.759 revolves around her, the day she exits, and one way 273 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:22.880 or another, given mortality or change, everyone exits, your world collapses. 274 00:19:23.880 --> 00:19:25.880 Nature might want you to feel like you can't live 275 00:19:25.920 --> 00:19:28.599 without her. That keeps you in the game, but you 276 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:33.160 can live on, and you must be prepared to these traps. 277 00:19:33.240 --> 00:19:36.359 Ensnare even the best of us. They all share one 278 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:40.920 root illusion, illusions about who she is, what love will 279 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:44.000 do for you, and who you become under love's spell. 280 00:19:45.160 --> 00:19:50.200 Schopenhauer's philosophy tears down these illusions mercilessly. It shows love 281 00:19:50.319 --> 00:19:52.119 not as we wish it to be, but as it is, 282 00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:55.720 and with that knowledge comes a power if you choose 283 00:19:55.720 --> 00:19:58.559 to use it. Men, this is a lot to take in. 284 00:19:58.880 --> 00:20:03.519 It's deeply unset. You might feel anger, denial, or sadness 285 00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:07.880 hearing these things. Schopenhauer's intent wasn't to make you hate women, 286 00:20:08.039 --> 00:20:10.880 nor is this video's intent, but to open your eyes. 287 00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:13.799 Think of it like yanking someone out of a pleasant 288 00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:17.000 dream because the house is on fire. The dream was lovely, 289 00:20:17.240 --> 00:20:21.119 but reality must be faced to avoid disaster. What now 290 00:20:21.640 --> 00:20:24.839 should one then? Avoid women, avoid love, and live in 291 00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:29.920 cynical isolation. Schopenhauer himself chose a life of bachelorhood and 292 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:35.039 intellectual pursuit, wary of entanglements. He even admired those who 293 00:20:35.079 --> 00:20:40.440 renounced worldly desires altogether, monks sages as truly wise. But 294 00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:44.319 you must find your own path. The purpose of this 295 00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:47.240 philosophical wake up call is not necessarily to tell you 296 00:20:47.319 --> 00:20:49.960 not to love. It is to ensure that you love 297 00:20:50.480 --> 00:20:54.359 or not love with a clear mind, see the truth, 298 00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:59.640 then decide how to act. The sobering, empowering truth is this. 299 00:21:00.599 --> 00:21:03.920 Romantic love is not a divine magic that will complete you. 300 00:21:04.440 --> 00:21:07.079 It is a powerful natural instinct that can just as 301 00:21:07.079 --> 00:21:10.039 easily destroy you if you are ignorant of its nature. 302 00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:15.440 Women are neither goddesses nor pure evil. They are human 303 00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:20.039 beings driven by natural imperatives, just as men are. Your 304 00:21:20.079 --> 00:21:24.599 happiness is not their priority. It is nature's priority that 305 00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:28.799 is often at work. Once you grasp this, you can 306 00:21:28.839 --> 00:21:33.680 approach relationships and life with a new mindset clarity, no 307 00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:37.680 more blind idolization. You see your partner as a flawed, 308 00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:42.000 real person. You understand your own intense feelings as part 309 00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:44.960 of an instinctual drive, which helps you keep a level 310 00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:50.680 head even when you feel passion boundaries. You can love 311 00:21:50.759 --> 00:21:53.799 someone and share your life, but you won't abandon your 312 00:21:53.839 --> 00:21:57.359 self respect or life goals. You won't let the relationship 313 00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:02.880 consume your identity or rationality caution. You will be careful 314 00:22:02.920 --> 00:22:08.039 about commitments, marriage, children. These are serious life altering matters. 315 00:22:08.599 --> 00:22:11.599 Don't be led into them solely by surging emotions or 316 00:22:11.599 --> 00:22:15.799 social pressure. Consider them with open eyes. Is this what 317 00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:19.640 I truly want or what my biology slash society is 318 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:25.279 pushing me to want? Resilience. If love ends or a 319 00:22:25.319 --> 00:22:28.480 woman betrays you, you will hurt, but you will not 320 00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:31.880 be utterly shocked. As if the universe imploded, you will 321 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:34.799 recognize it as part of the human condition. You can 322 00:22:34.839 --> 00:22:38.720 pick up the pieces and rebuild wiser, now not fooled 323 00:22:38.839 --> 00:22:46.559 twice by the same illusion purpose. Beyond chasing women, free 324 00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:50.559 from the constant obsession of needing love to behole, you 325 00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:55.759 might find more time and energy for other pursuits, creative projects, friendships, 326 00:22:55.920 --> 00:23:00.319 personal growth, even spiritual exploration. He channeled his end energy 327 00:23:00.359 --> 00:23:03.200 into those as they were more reliable sources of meaning 328 00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:08.039 than the chase of romance. Schopenhauer's ultimate message is one 329 00:23:08.039 --> 00:23:10.920 of awakening. It is as if he's shaking men by 330 00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:14.160 the shoulders and saying, look around, you see things as 331 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:16.279 they are. Don't be a slave to a game you 332 00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:20.319 don't even realize is being played. Yes, the truth is cold. 333 00:23:20.920 --> 00:23:23.680 Yes it stings to admit that what we cherished might 334 00:23:23.720 --> 00:23:27.039 be a grand evolutionary con but there is also a 335 00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:31.000 strange freedom in it. If love is a game nature plays, 336 00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:34.119 you can learn the rules, you can choose how or 337 00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:37.480 if you will play. You might still choose to marry 338 00:23:37.480 --> 00:23:40.119 and have children, but you'll do so fully aware of 339 00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:43.839 what it entails, eyes open to the sacrifices and the 340 00:23:43.880 --> 00:23:46.759 fact that you are fulfilling a natural drive, not living 341 00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:50.880 a fairy tale. Or you might choose a different route, 342 00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:55.880 perhaps relationships without the legal bindings or periods of celibacy 343 00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:59.000 to focus on other things, or a partnership but with 344 00:23:59.079 --> 00:24:04.480 a mutual understand free of illusion. The point is, once awakened, 345 00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:06.960 you are no longer blindly led by a carrot on 346 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:11.240 a stick. You can steer your own life. Schopenhauer's philosophy 347 00:24:11.319 --> 00:24:16.160 is often labeled pessimistic. Indeed, he believed that by seeing 348 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:19.960 through life's illusions, including love, we can attain a kind 349 00:24:19.960 --> 00:24:24.039 of philosophical peace, not a happiness exactly, but a relief, 350 00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:28.240 like a man who steps out of a foolish charade. 351 00:24:28.279 --> 00:24:31.680 He doesn't promise a rosy alternative, but he does free 352 00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:35.039 you from false hopes that lead to pain, and perhaps 353 00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:39.200 that freedom is the first step toward finding real meaning 354 00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:44.119 and contentment built on truth rather than deception. At the 355 00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:47.039 end of this journey, we return to our heartbroken man, 356 00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:50.119 or perhaps your own heart. If you've been through the 357 00:24:50.200 --> 00:24:53.519 ringer of love, you now have a choice. Will you 358 00:24:53.640 --> 00:24:56.960 continue to live in the comfortable dream, repeating the cycle 359 00:24:57.000 --> 00:25:00.799 of infatuation and despair, letting nature ye thank your chain, 360 00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:04.119 or will you heed the warning that Schopenhauer gave and 361 00:25:04.240 --> 00:25:09.079 break free of the spell men. Schopenhauer warned us loudly 362 00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:12.039 and clearly, do not let it fall on deaf ears again. 363 00:25:12.599 --> 00:25:15.720 The next time you find yourself mesmerized by a beautiful 364 00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:20.079 face or a surge of passion, remember these words. Remember 365 00:25:20.119 --> 00:25:24.880 that something ancient and impersonal is working within you. Pause 366 00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:28.880 and let clear reason have a say alongside your heart. 367 00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:34.119 Protect yourself from the snares set in your path. This 368 00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:39.480 doesn't mean you cannot love, but love knowingly, love without delusion. 369 00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:43.640 If you choose to engage in romance, do so as 370 00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:46.720 an awake player of the game, not a blind pawn. 371 00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:49.200 And if you choose to walk away from the game, 372 00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:52.319 let it be out of strength and wisdom, not bitterness. 373 00:25:53.359 --> 00:25:56.480 In the end, Schopenhauer offered brutal clarity as a gift 374 00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.880 to help us see. It's a gift soaked in cynicism, 375 00:26:00.200 --> 00:26:02.880 yet it can save a man from ruin. It can 376 00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:07.119 transform heartache into insight. The truth will set you free, 377 00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:11.079 but first it will shock you. Wake up, brothers. See 378 00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:14.960 women for what they are, wonderful and flawed, mortals driven 379 00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.279 by nature, not magical creatures. See love for what it is, 380 00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:23.480 intense and real in feeling, but ultimately a means to 381 00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:28.279 an end for nature. And most importantly, see yourself not 382 00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:31.759 as a love sick fool at the mercy of biological drives, 383 00:26:32.160 --> 00:26:35.440 but as a man who can rise above them with understanding. 384 00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:41.039 Arthur Schopenhauer sounded the alarm in his time, and few listened. 385 00:26:41.720 --> 00:26:45.880 They dismissed him as a crank, a misogynist, a joyless pessimist. 386 00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:51.960 But look around now, broken families, disillusioned men, confusion and 387 00:26:52.039 --> 00:26:56.839 pain everywhere from failed romances. His words ring truer than ever. 388 00:26:57.400 --> 00:27:01.359 We ignore them at our peril. The elude usion is powerful. Yes, 389 00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:05.680 now you have the antidote, the knowledge, the brutal truth 390 00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:09.279 that cuts through the haze. The rest is up to you. 391 00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:13.279 Will you be led by nature's nose ring, or will 392 00:27:13.319 --> 00:27:17.200 you take the reins of your own destiny? The final, 393 00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:21.960 sobering thought, Schopenhauer leaves us. If men truly acted with 394 00:27:22.039 --> 00:27:26.680 clear reason instead of illusion, would the human race even continue? 395 00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:32.200 He thought, probably not. Perhaps it's too much to ask 396 00:27:32.279 --> 00:27:36.440 men to renounce the illusion entirely. Nature's pull is strong. 397 00:27:37.079 --> 00:27:40.440 But even if we don't all become ascetics, we can 398 00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:44.440 be wiser. Let Schopenhauer's voice be the one in your 399 00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:48.160 head that whispers the truth when you need it. It's 400 00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:53.720 a trick, steady yourself. Let his clarity be your armor 401 00:27:53.880 --> 00:27:58.759