Speaker 1: Chapter fifty seven of Great Expectations. This is a LibriVox recording.
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Speaker 1: recording is by Mark Smith of Simpsonville, South Carolina. Great
Speaker 1: Expectations by Charles Dickens, chapter fifty seven. Now that I
Speaker 1: was left wholly to myself, I gave notice of my
Speaker 1: intention to quit the chambers in the Temple as soon
Speaker 1: as my tenancy could legally determine, and in the meanwhile
Speaker 1: to underlet them at once. I put bills up in
Speaker 1: the windows, for I was in debt and had scarcely
Speaker 1: any money, and began to be seriously alarmed by the
Speaker 1: state of my affairs. I ought rather to write that
Speaker 1: I should have been alarmed if I had had energy
Speaker 1: and concentration enough to help me to the clear person
Speaker 1: reception of any truth beyond the fact that I was
Speaker 1: falling very ill. The late stress upon me had enabled
Speaker 1: me to put off illness, but not to put it away.
Speaker 1: I knew that it was coming on me now, and
Speaker 1: I knew very little else, and was even careless as
Speaker 1: to that. For a day or two I lay on
Speaker 1: the sofa or on the floor anywhere, according as I
Speaker 1: happened to sink down with a heavy head and aching limbs,
Speaker 1: and no purpose and no power. Then there came one
Speaker 1: night which appeared of great duration, and which teemed with
Speaker 1: anxiety and horror. And when in the morning I tried
Speaker 1: to sit up in my bed and think of it,
Speaker 1: I found I could not do so. Whether I really
Speaker 1: had been down in guarding court in the dead of
Speaker 1: the night, groping about for the boat that I supposed
Speaker 1: to be there. Whether I had two or three times
Speaker 1: come to myself on the staircase with great terror, not
Speaker 1: knowing how I had got out of bed. Whether I
Speaker 1: had found myself lighting the lamp, possessed by the idea
Speaker 1: that he was coming up the stairs, and that the
Speaker 1: lights were blown out. Whether I had been inexpressibly harassed
Speaker 1: by the distracted talking, laughing and groaning of some one,
Speaker 1: and had half suspected those sounds to be of my
Speaker 1: own making. Whether there had been a closed iron furnace
Speaker 1: in a dark corner of the room, and a voice
Speaker 1: had called out over and over again that Miss Havisham
Speaker 1: was consuming within it. These were things that I tried
Speaker 1: to settle with myself and get into some order. As
Speaker 1: I lay that morning on my bed, but the vapor
Speaker 1: of a lime kiln would come between me and them,
Speaker 1: disordering them all. And it was through the vapor at
Speaker 1: last that I saw two men looking at me. What
Speaker 1: do you want? I asked, starting I don't know you well, sir,
Speaker 1: returned one of them down and touching me on the shoulder.
Speaker 1: This is a matter that you'll soon arrange, I dare say,
Speaker 1: But you're arrested. What is the debt? Hundred and twenty
Speaker 1: three pound fifteen six jewelers account? I think what is
Speaker 1: to be done? You had better come to my house,
Speaker 1: said the man. I keep a very nice house. I
Speaker 1: made some attempt to get up and dress myself. When
Speaker 1: I next attended to them, they were standing a little
Speaker 1: off from the bed, looking at me. I still lay there,
Speaker 1: you see my state, said I. I would come with
Speaker 1: you if I could, But indeed I'm quite unable. If
Speaker 1: you take me from here, I think I shall die
Speaker 1: by the way. Perhaps they replied, or argued the point,
Speaker 1: or tried to encourage me to believe that I was
Speaker 1: better than I thought, forasmuch as they hang in my
Speaker 1: memory by only this one slender thread. I don't know
Speaker 1: what they did, except that they forebore to remove me.
Speaker 1: That I had a fever and was avoided, That I
Speaker 1: suffered greatly, that I often lost my reason, that the
Speaker 1: time seemed interminable, That I confounded impossible existences with my
Speaker 1: own identity. That I was a brick in the house
Speaker 1: wall and yet entreating to be released from the giddy
Speaker 1: place where the builders had set me. That I was
Speaker 1: a steel beam of a vast engine, clashing and whirling
Speaker 1: over a gulf, and yet that I implored in my own
Speaker 1: person to have the engine stopped, and my part in
Speaker 1: it hammered off. That I passed through these phases of disease.
Speaker 1: I know of my own remembrance, and did in some
Speaker 1: sort know at the time that I sometimes struggled with
Speaker 1: real people in the belief that they were murderers, and
Speaker 1: that I would all at once comprehend that they meant
Speaker 1: to do me good, and would then sink, exhausted in
Speaker 1: their arms, and suffer them to lay me down. I
Speaker 1: also knew at the time, But above all, I knew
Speaker 1: that there was a constant tendency in all these people who,
Speaker 1: when I was very ill would present all kinds of
Speaker 1: extraordinary transformations of the human face, and would be much
Speaker 1: dilated in size. Above all, I say, I knew that
Speaker 1: there was an extraordinary tendency in all these people sooner
Speaker 1: or later to settle down into the likeness of Joe.
Speaker 1: After I had turned the worst point of my illness,
Speaker 1: I began to notice that while all its other features changed,
Speaker 1: this one consistent feature did not change. Whoever came about
Speaker 1: me still settled down into Joe. I opened my eyes
Speaker 1: in the night, and I saw in the great chair
Speaker 1: at the bedside Joe. I opened my eyes in the day,
Speaker 1: sitting on the window seat, smoking his pipe in the
Speaker 1: shaded open window, still I saw Joe. I asked for
Speaker 1: a cooling drink, and the dear hand that gave it
Speaker 1: me was Joe's. I sank back on my pillow after drinking,
Speaker 1: and the face that looked so hopefully and tenderly upon
Speaker 1: me was the face of Joe. At last. One day
Speaker 1: I took courage and said, is it Joe? And the
Speaker 1: dear old home voice answered, which it are, old Chap, Oh, Joe,
Speaker 1: you break my heart. Don't look angry at me, Joe,
Speaker 1: strike me, Joe, tell me of my ingratitude. Don't be
Speaker 1: so good to me. For Joe had actually laid his
Speaker 1: head down on the pillow at my side and put
Speaker 1: his arm round my neck in his joy that I
Speaker 1: knew him, which dear old Pip Old Chap said, Joe,
Speaker 1: you and me was ever French. And when you're well
Speaker 1: enough to go out for a ride, what larks? After
Speaker 1: which Joe withdrew to the window and stood with his
Speaker 1: back towards me, wiping his eyes. And as my extreme
Speaker 1: weakness prevented me from getting up and going to him,
Speaker 1: I lay there penitently whispering, Oh God, bless him, Oh God,
Speaker 1: bless this gentle Christian man. Joe's eyes were red when
Speaker 1: I next found him beside me, but I was holding
Speaker 1: his hand, and we both felt happy. How long, dear Joe,
Speaker 1: which you meander, say, Pip? How long has your illness lasted,
Speaker 1: dear old Jep, Yes, Joe, it's the end of May, Pip.
Speaker 1: Tomorrow is the first of June. And have you been
Speaker 1: here all that time? Dear Joe, pretty nigh old Jep,
Speaker 1: For as I says to Biddy, when the news of
Speaker 1: your being ill were brought by letter, which it were
Speaker 1: brought by the post and being formally single. He is
Speaker 1: now married, though underpaid for a deal of walking and
Speaker 1: shoe leather. But wealth were not an object on his part,
Speaker 1: and marriage were the great wish of his heart. It
Speaker 1: is so delightful to hear you, Joe, But I interrupt
Speaker 1: you in what you said to Biddy. Which it were
Speaker 1: said Joe, that how you might be amongst strangers, and
Speaker 1: that how you and me, having been ever friends, a
Speaker 1: visit at such a moment might not prove unacceptababble and
Speaker 1: Biddy her word were go to him without loss of time,
Speaker 1: that said Joe, summing up with his judicial air, were
Speaker 1: the word of Biddy. Go to him, Biddy say without
Speaker 1: loss of time. In short, I shouldn't greatly deceive you,
Speaker 1: Joe added, after a little grave reflection, if I represented
Speaker 1: to you that the word of that young woman were
Speaker 1: without a minute's loss of time. There Joe cut himself
Speaker 1: short and informed me that I was to be talked
Speaker 1: to in great moderation, and that I was to take
Speaker 1: a little nourishment at stated frequent times, whether I felt
Speaker 1: inclined for it or not, and that I was to
Speaker 1: submit myself to all his orders. So I kissed his
Speaker 1: hand and lay quiet while he proceeded to indict a
Speaker 1: note to Biddy with my love in it. Evidently Biddy
Speaker 1: had taught Joe to write. As I lay in bed
Speaker 1: looking at him, it made me, in my weak state,
Speaker 1: cry again with pleasure to see the pride with which
Speaker 1: he set about his letter. My bedstead, divested of its curtains,
Speaker 1: had been removed, with me upon it, into the sitting
Speaker 1: room as the ariiest and largest, and the carpet had
Speaker 1: been taken away, and the room kept always fresh and
Speaker 1: wholesome night in day, at my own writing table, pushed
Speaker 1: into a corner and cumbered with little bottles, Joe now
Speaker 1: sat down to his great work, first choosing a pen
Speaker 1: from the pen tray as if it were a chest
Speaker 1: of large tools, and tucking up his sleeves as if
Speaker 1: he were going to wheel the crowbar or sledgehammer. It
Speaker 1: was necessary for Joe to hold on heavily to the
Speaker 1: table with his left elbow, and to get his right
Speaker 1: leg well out behind him before he could begin, And
Speaker 1: when he did begin, he made every downstroke so slowly
Speaker 1: that it might have been six feet long, while at
Speaker 1: every upstroke I could hear his pens, spluttering extensively. He
Speaker 1: had a curious idea that the inkstand was on the
Speaker 1: side of him, where it was not, and constantly dipped
Speaker 1: his pen into space, and seemed quite satisfied with the result.
Speaker 1: Occasionally he was tripped up by some orthographical stumbling block,
Speaker 1: but on the whole he got on very well. Indeed,
Speaker 1: and when he had signed his name and had removed
Speaker 1: a finishing blot from the paper to the crown of
Speaker 1: his head with his two forefingers, he got up and
Speaker 1: hovered about the table, trying the effect of his performance
Speaker 1: from various points of view as it lay there, with
Speaker 1: unbounded satisfaction. Not to make Joe uneasy by talking too much.
Speaker 1: Even if I had been able to talk much, I
Speaker 1: deferred asking him about Miss Havisham until next day. He
Speaker 1: shook his head when I then asked him if she
Speaker 1: had recovered? Is she dead? Joe? Why? Y see, old chup,
Speaker 1: said Joe in a tone of remonstrance, and by way
Speaker 1: of getting at it by degrees. I wouldn't go so
Speaker 1: far as to say that, for that's a deal to say.
Speaker 1: But she ain't living, Joe, that's nigher where it is,
Speaker 1: said Joe. She ain't living, did she linger? Long? Joe,
Speaker 1: are to you was took ill pretty much about what
Speaker 1: you might call if you was put to it a week,
Speaker 1: said Joe, still determined on my account to come at
Speaker 1: everything by degrees. Dear Joe, have you heard what becomes
Speaker 1: of her property? Well, old Chap, said Joe. It do
Speaker 1: appear that she had settled the most of it, which
Speaker 1: I mean to say, tied it up a miss a stella.
Speaker 1: But she had rode out a cottages shell in her
Speaker 1: own hand a day or two afore the accident, leaving
Speaker 1: a cool four thousand to mister Matthew pocket. And why
Speaker 1: do you suppose, above all things Pip, she left that
Speaker 1: cool four thousand unto him because of Pip's account of him,
Speaker 1: the said Matthew. I am told by Biddy that ere
Speaker 1: the writing, said Joe, repeating the legal term, as if
Speaker 1: it did him infinite good account of him, the said Matthew,
Speaker 1: And a cool four thousand Pip. I never discovered from
Speaker 1: whom Joe derived the conventional temperature of the four thousand pounds,
Speaker 1: but it appeared to make the sum of money more
Speaker 1: to him, and he had a manifest relish in insisting
Speaker 1: on its being cool. This account gave me great joy,
Speaker 1: as it perfected the only good thing I had done.
Speaker 1: I asked Joe whether he had heard if any of
Speaker 1: the other relations had any legacies. Miss Sarah said Joe,
Speaker 1: she have twenty five pound perennium forred buy pills on
Speaker 1: account of being bilious. Miss Georgiana she have twenty pound down.
Speaker 1: Missus n what's the name of them? While beasts with Hump's,
Speaker 1: Old Chap Camels, said I, wondering why he could possibly
Speaker 1: want to know. Joe nodded missus Camel's, by which I
Speaker 1: presently understood he meant Camilla, she have five pounds for
Speaker 1: to buy rush lights to put her in spirits when
Speaker 1: she wake up in the night. The accuracy of these
Speaker 1: recitals was sufficiently obvious to me to give me great
Speaker 1: confidence in Joe's information. And now, said Joe, you ain't
Speaker 1: that strong yet, old Chap that you can take him more,
Speaker 1: nor one additional shovelful to day, old orlick. He's been
Speaker 1: a bustin' open, a dwellin' house. Who's said, I not
Speaker 1: I grant you, but what his manners is given to blusterus,
Speaker 1: said Joe, apologetically still on englishmen's houses as castle and
Speaker 1: castles must not be busted except when done in war time.
Speaker 1: And whatsomever the feelings on his part? He were a
Speaker 1: corn and seedsman in his heart. Is it Pomblchuk's house
Speaker 1: that has been broken into? Then that si it, Pip,
Speaker 1: said Joe. And they took his till, and they took
Speaker 1: his cash box, and they drinked his wine, and they
Speaker 1: partook of his whittles, and they slapped his face, and
Speaker 1: they pulled his nose, and they tied him up to
Speaker 1: his bedpost, and they give him a dozen and they
Speaker 1: stuffed his mouth full of flowering annuals to prevent his
Speaker 1: crying out. But he knowed dorlc and Orle's in the
Speaker 1: county jail. By these approaches we arrived at unrestricted conversation.
Speaker 1: I was slow to gain strength, but I did slowly
Speaker 1: and surely become less weak. And Joe stayed with me,
Speaker 1: and I fancied I was little Pip again, for the
Speaker 1: tenderness of Joe was so beautifully proportioned to my need
Speaker 1: that I was like a child in his hands. He
Speaker 1: would sit and talk to me in the old confidence
Speaker 1: and with the old simplicity, and in the old, unassertive,
Speaker 1: protecting way, so that I would half believe that all
Speaker 1: my life since the days of the old kid was
Speaker 1: one of the mental troubles of the fever that was gone.
Speaker 1: He did everything for me except the household work, for
Speaker 1: which he had engaged a very decent woman, after paying
Speaker 1: off the laundress on his first arrival, which I do
Speaker 1: assure you, Pip, he would often say, in explanation of
Speaker 1: that liberty, I found her a tap in the spare
Speaker 1: bed like a cask of beer, and drawn off the
Speaker 1: feathers in a bucket for sale, which she would have
Speaker 1: tapped your next, and drawed it off with you a
Speaker 1: layin on it, and was then a carrying away the
Speaker 1: coals gradually in the soup tureen, and vegetable dishes, and
Speaker 1: the wine and spirits in your wellington boots. We looked
Speaker 1: forward to the day when I should go out for
Speaker 1: a ride, as we had once looked forward to the
Speaker 1: day of my apprenticeship. And when the day came and
Speaker 1: an open carriage was got into the lane, Joe wrapped
Speaker 1: me up, took me in his arms, carried me down
Speaker 1: to it, and put me in. If I were still
Speaker 1: the small, helpless creature to whom he had so abundantly
Speaker 1: given the wealth of his great nature. And Joe got
Speaker 1: in beside me, and we drove away together into the country,
Speaker 1: where the rich summer growth was already on the trees
Speaker 1: and on the grass, and sweet summer sands filled all
Speaker 1: the air. The day happened to be Sunday, And when
Speaker 1: I looked on the loveliness around me and thought how
Speaker 1: it had grown and changed, and how the little wild
Speaker 1: flowers had been forming, and the voices of the birds
Speaker 1: had been strengthening by day and by night, under the
Speaker 1: sun and under the stars. While poor I lay burning
Speaker 1: and tossing on my bed, the mere remembrance of having
Speaker 1: burned and tossed there came like a check upon my peace.
Speaker 1: But when I heard the Sunday bells and looked around
Speaker 1: a little more upon the outspread beauty, I felt that
Speaker 1: I was not nearly thankful enough, that I was too
Speaker 1: weak yet to be even that laid my head on
Speaker 1: Joe's shoulder, as I had laid it long ago, when
Speaker 1: he had taken me to the fair or where not,
Speaker 1: And it was too much for my young senses. More
Speaker 1: composure came to me after a while, and we talked
Speaker 1: as we used to talk lying on the grass at
Speaker 1: the old Battery. There was no change whatever in Joe.
Speaker 1: Exactly what he had been in my eyes then He was,
Speaker 1: in my eyes still just as simply faithful and is
Speaker 1: simply right. When we got back again, and he lifted
Speaker 1: me out and carried me so easily across the court
Speaker 1: and up the stairs, I thought of that eventful Christmas
Speaker 1: day when he had carried me over the marshes. We
Speaker 1: had not yet made any allusion to my change of fortune,
Speaker 1: nor did I know how much of my late history
Speaker 1: he was acquainted with. I was so doubtful of myself now,
Speaker 1: and put so much trust in him, that I could
Speaker 1: not satisfy myself whether I ought to refer to it
Speaker 1: when he did not, Have you heard, Joe? I asked
Speaker 1: him that evening, upon further consideration, as he smoked his
Speaker 1: pipe at the window. Who my patron was? I heard,
Speaker 1: returned Joe, As it were not Miss Havisham old Chap.
Speaker 1: Did you hear who it was? Joe? Well? I heard,
Speaker 1: as it were a person? What sent the person? What
Speaker 1: give you the banknotes? At the Jolly bargeman, Pip. So
Speaker 1: it was astonishing, said Joe in the placidest way. Did
Speaker 1: you hear that he was dead? Joe? I presently asked,
Speaker 1: with increasing diffidence, which him has sent the bank notes? Pip. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think, said Joe, after meditating a long time and
Speaker 1: looking rather evasively at the windows, as I did hear
Speaker 1: tell that how he were something or other? In a
Speaker 1: general way? In that direction? Did you hear anything of
Speaker 1: his circumstances, Joe, not particular, Pip, but if you would
Speaker 1: like to hear Joe, I was beginning when Joe got
Speaker 1: up and came to my sofa. Look you here, old Chap,
Speaker 1: said Joe, bending over me. Ever, the best of friends,
Speaker 1: ain't us? Pip. I was ashamed to answer him. We'rey good, then,
Speaker 1: said Joe. As if I had answered, that's all right,
Speaker 1: that's agreed upon. Then why go into subjects, old Chap, which,
Speaker 1: as betwixt two such, must be forever unnecessary? There are
Speaker 1: subjects enough this betwixt two such without unnecessary ones. Lord,
Speaker 1: to think of your poor sister and her rampages. And
Speaker 1: don't you remember toler I do? Indeed, Joe, looky here,
Speaker 1: old Chup, said Joe, I've done what I could to
Speaker 1: keep you antickler in asunders, but my power was not
Speaker 1: always fully equal to my inclinations. For when your poor
Speaker 1: sister had a mind to drop into you, it were
Speaker 1: not so much, said Joe, in his favorite argumentative way.
Speaker 1: That you dropped into me too if I put myself
Speaker 1: in opposition to her, But that she dropped into you
Speaker 1: always heavier for it. I noticed that it ain't a
Speaker 1: grab at a man's whisker, nor yet a shake or two
Speaker 1: of a man, to which your sister was quite welcome.
Speaker 1: That it put a man off from getting a little
Speaker 1: child out of punishment. But when that little child is
Speaker 1: dropped into heavier for that grab a whisker or shaken,
Speaker 1: then that man naturally up and says to himself, where
Speaker 1: is the good as you are a doing? I grant you.
Speaker 1: I see the harm, said the man, But I don't
Speaker 1: see the good. I call upon you, sir, therefore, to
Speaker 1: point out the good, the man says, I observed. As
Speaker 1: Joe waited for me to speak, the man says, Joe assented.
Speaker 1: Is he right, that man, Dear Joe, He is always right? Well,
Speaker 1: old Chap, said Joe. Then abide by your words. If
Speaker 1: he's always right, which in general he's more likely wrong,
Speaker 1: he's right when he says this. Supposing ever you kept
Speaker 1: any little matter to yourself when you was a little child,
Speaker 1: you kept it mostly because you knowed as j Gargery's
Speaker 1: power to part you and Tickler in sunders were not
Speaker 1: fully equal to his inclinations. Therefore, I think no more
Speaker 1: of it as betwixt two such, and do not let
Speaker 1: us pass remarks upon unnecessary subject. Biddy give herself a
Speaker 1: deal of trouble with me before I left, for I
Speaker 1: am almost awful dull, as I should view it in
Speaker 1: this light, and viewing it in this light, as I
Speaker 1: should so put it, both of which said Joe, quite
Speaker 1: charmed with his logical arrangement being done. Now this to you,
Speaker 1: a true friend, say, namely, you mustn't go a overdoing
Speaker 1: on it. But you must have your supper and your
Speaker 1: wine and water, and you must be put betwixt the sheets.
Speaker 1: The delicacy with which Joe dismissed this theme, and the
Speaker 1: sweet tact and kindness with which Biddy, who with her
Speaker 1: woman's wit had found me out so soon, had prepared
Speaker 1: him for it, made a deep impression on my mind.
Speaker 1: But whether Joe knew how poor I was, and how
Speaker 1: my great expectations had all dissolved like our own martial
Speaker 1: mists before the sun. I could not understand another thing
Speaker 1: in Joe that I could not understand when it first
Speaker 1: began to develop itself, but which I soon arrived at
Speaker 1: a sorrowful comprehension of. Was this. As I became stronger
Speaker 1: and better, Joe became a little less easy with me
Speaker 1: in my weakness, an entire dependence on him. The dear
Speaker 1: fellow had fallen into the old tone and called me
Speaker 1: by the old names, the dear old pip old chap
Speaker 1: that now were music in my ears. I too had
Speaker 1: fallen into the old ways, only happy and thankful that
Speaker 1: he let me. But imperceptibly, though I held by them fast,
Speaker 1: Joe's hold upon them began to slacken. And whereas I
Speaker 1: wondered at this at first, I soon began to understand
Speaker 1: that the cause of it was in me, and that
Speaker 1: the fault of it was all mine. Ah, Had I
Speaker 1: given Joe no reason to doubt my constancy and to
Speaker 1: think that, in prosperity I should grow cold to him
Speaker 1: and cast him off? Had I given Joe's innocent heart
Speaker 1: no cause to feel instinctively that as I got stronger,
Speaker 1: his hold upon me would be weaker, and that he
Speaker 1: had better loosen it in time and let me go
Speaker 1: before I plucked myself away. It was on the third
Speaker 1: or fourth occasion of my going out walking in the
Speaker 1: Temple gardens, leading on Joe's arm, that I saw this
Speaker 1: change in him very plainly. We had been sitting in
Speaker 1: the bright, warm sunlight looking at the river, and I
Speaker 1: chanced to say, as we got up, see Joe, I
Speaker 1: can walk quite strongly. Now you shall see me walk
Speaker 1: back by myself. Which do not overdo it, pip, said Joe.
Speaker 1: But I shall be happy for to see ye, able, sir.
Speaker 1: The last word grated on me, But how could I remonstrate?
Speaker 1: I walked no further than the gate of the gardens,
Speaker 1: and then pretended to be weaker than I was, and
Speaker 1: asked Joe for his arm. Joe gave it me, but
Speaker 1: was thoughtful. I, for my part, was thoughtful too, for
Speaker 1: how best to check this growing change in Joe was
Speaker 1: a great perplexity to my remorseful thoughts that I was
Speaker 1: ashamed to tell him exactly how I was placed and
Speaker 1: what I had come down to. I do not seek
Speaker 1: to conceal, but I hope my reluctance was not quite
Speaker 1: an unworthy one. He would want to help me out
Speaker 1: of his little savings. I knew, and I knew that
Speaker 1: he ought not to help me, that I must not
Speaker 1: suffer him to do it. It was a thoughtful evening
Speaker 1: with both of us. But before we went to bed,
Speaker 1: I had resolved that I would wait over tomorrow tomorrow
Speaker 1: being Sunday, and would begin my new course with the
Speaker 1: new week. On Monday morning. I would speak to Joe
Speaker 1: about this change. I would lay aside this last vestige
Speaker 1: of reserve. I would tell him what I had in
Speaker 1: my thoughts that secondly not yet arrived at, and why
Speaker 1: I had not decided to go out to Herbert, and
Speaker 1: then the change would be conquered forever. As I cleared,
Speaker 1: Joe cleared, and it seemed as though he had sympathetically
Speaker 1: arrived at a resolution too. We had a quiet day
Speaker 1: on the Sunday, and we rode out into the country
Speaker 1: and then walked in the fields. I feel thankful that
Speaker 1: I have been ill, Joe, I said, dear old pip
Speaker 1: Old Chap, you're almost come round, sir. It has been
Speaker 1: a memorable time for me Joe, likewise for myself, Sir.
Speaker 1: Joe returned, We have had a time to gather, Joe,
Speaker 1: that I can never forget. There were days once I
Speaker 1: know that I did did for a while forget, But
Speaker 1: I never shall forget these Pip, said Joe, appearing a
Speaker 1: little hurried and troubled. There has been larks, and dear sir,
Speaker 1: what has been betwixt us have been? At night, when
Speaker 1: I had gone to bed, Joe came into my room,
Speaker 1: as he had done all through my recovery. He asked
Speaker 1: me if I felt sure that I was as well
Speaker 1: as in the morning, Yes, dear Joe, quite, and are
Speaker 1: always getting stronger, old Chap, Yes, dear Joe. Steadily, Joe
Speaker 1: patted the coverlet on my shoulder with his great good
Speaker 1: hand and said, in what I thought a husky voice,
Speaker 1: good night. When I got up in the morning, refreshed
Speaker 1: and stronger, yet I was full of my resolution to
Speaker 1: tell Joe all without delay. I would tell him before breakfast.
Speaker 1: I would dress it once, go to his room and
Speaker 1: surprise him, for it was the first day I had
Speaker 1: been up early. I went to his room and he
Speaker 1: was not there. Not only was he not there, but
Speaker 1: his box was gone. I hurried then to the breakfast table,
Speaker 1: and on it found a letter. These were its brief contents,
Speaker 1: not wishful to intrude. I have departured for you are
Speaker 1: well again, dear Pip, and will do better without j O.
Speaker 1: P s Ever, the best of friends. Enclosed in the
Speaker 1: letter was a receipt for the debt and costs on
Speaker 1: which I had been arrested. Down to that moment, I
Speaker 1: had vainly supposed that my creditor had withdrawn or suspended
Speaker 1: proceedings until I should be quite recovered. I had never
Speaker 1: dreamed of Joe's having paid the money. But Joe had
Speaker 1: paid it, and the receipt was in his name. What
Speaker 1: remained for me now but to follow him to the
Speaker 1: dear old Forge, and there to have out my disclosure
Speaker 1: to him, and my penitent remonstrance with him, and there
Speaker 1: to relieve my mind and heart of that reserved. Secondly,
Speaker 1: which had begun as a vague something lingering in my thoughts,
Speaker 1: and it formed into a settled purpose. The purpose was
Speaker 1: that I would go to Biddy, that I would show
Speaker 1: her how humbled and repentant I came back, that I
Speaker 1: would tell her how I had lost all I once
Speaker 1: hoped for, that I would remind her of our old
Speaker 1: confidences in my first unhappy time. Then I would say
Speaker 1: to her, Biddy, I think you once liked me very well,
Speaker 1: when my errant heart, even while it strayed away from you,
Speaker 1: was quieter and better with you than it ever has
Speaker 1: been since. If you can like me only half as
Speaker 1: well once more, if you can take me with all
Speaker 1: my faults and disappointments on my head, if you can
Speaker 1: receive me like a forgiven child. And indeed I am
Speaker 1: as sorry, Biddy, and have as much need of a
Speaker 1: hushing voice and a soothing hand. I hope I am
Speaker 1: a little worthier of you than I was. Not much
Speaker 1: but a little. And Biddy, it shall rest with you
Speaker 1: to say whether I shall work at the forge with Joe,
Speaker 1: or whether I shall try for any different occupation down
Speaker 1: in this country, or whether we shall go away to
Speaker 1: a distant place where an opportunity awaits me, which I
Speaker 1: set aside when it was offered until I knew your answer.
Speaker 1: And now, dear Biddy, if you can tell me that
Speaker 1: you will go through the world with me. You will
Speaker 1: surely make it a better world for me, and me
Speaker 1: a better man for it, and I will try hard
Speaker 1: to make it a better world for you. Such was
Speaker 1: my purpose. After three days more of recovery, I went
Speaker 1: down to the old place to put it in execution.
Speaker 1: And how I sped in it is all I have
Speaker 1: left to tell. End of chapter