Speaker 1: Made a decant John.
Speaker 2: Oh pay Sunny sun.
Speaker 3: On I haddasione night.
Speaker 1: So ch what's up everybody? Hey, hey, oh.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's been a long time since we've
been here.
Speaker 1: Last Listen, you and I are living a lot of
life in short amount of times. Yeah, right now, and
you have had a massive milestone happened this week and
I cannot wait to hear all about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, I'll tell you all about moving Sonny out.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Last last we were here with Monday last week, and
then the next night after I was here on Monday,
Sunday and night we drove to seeing Italia in Santa
Barbara and it was really cute and we had dinner
with her out there. Although Santa Barbara, you think it's well,
it's actually quicker to get to Sunny on the flight
from like flight time than it is to sit in
a car and drive to Italia.
Speaker 1: Was there traffic?
Speaker 3: Well, now, there was a little bit traffic as we
were heading out of out of this area to get
to Santa Barbara, just a little, but then it eased up.
But then we got home kind of late and we
flew home and it was still like an almost two
hour drive oh okay, flight to Oregon's and only like
an hour and a half.
Speaker 1: Oh well, it is better than San Diego though a
lot of people feel like san Diego's close. That shit
is not that it's not close. Now, that's like a
good three sometimes four hour drive depending on traffic because
you're on the four O five. So less than two
hours is not bad. Yes, no, I'm not I'm not complaining,
but yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It was really nice and it was cute to see
Natalia with her roommates, and.
Speaker 1: Sonny got to see her place where she was.
Speaker 3: Living and he and she was like, I'm gonna because
I had to go charge the car. So while I
did that, she took Sonny. She wanted to introduce Sonny
to her other friends at the another location, another dorm.
She said she was talking Sonny like, yeah, all my
friends want to meet my brother. So she took him
over there and she like met a bunch of her
friends there and then we had dinner and.
Speaker 1: It was really cute.
Speaker 3: It was really sweet, and Italia gave him some good
advice about, you know, get in touch with a counselor.
I told him about advice that we got from Elbe,
which was great. I love that episode with Elbe, so
much good of information came out of that.
Speaker 1: It was a good episode.
Speaker 3: It was really good and I highly recommend anybody whose
kids are going off to college, even next year, if
they're leaving, like, listen to Elbe episode.
Speaker 1: It was really good.
Speaker 3: So yeah, that was nice. And then the next day, Uh.
Speaker 1: Wait, so okay, so you're with Sonny, so you stayed overnight? No,
we didn't stay over. You didn't. Yeah, it was okay,
That's why it felt so long. Yeah, because you took
in the power for like four hours total. Yeah, yeah,
was what was How was it like? Was there bonding?
Did you just listen to podcasts like.
Speaker 3: We Yeah, we kind of listened to our Yeah, we
talked for a little bit. The more bonding day was
the next day. So we we just drove up and
had dinner. It was really nice, but it was you know,
we just ate dinner and then drove back. We went
kind of later after all the traffic died down.
Speaker 1: And was did you get any more information about like
how she's doing. Is it's still good? Yeah, she's doing
really well.
Speaker 3: She was able to add that fifth class and she's
she like, oh my god, she was talking about By
the way, did you know that Garagos's daughter is representing
P Didy?
Speaker 1: Yes, I read that somewhere. That's crazy. Yeah, and I
found that day.
Speaker 3: I know I found out that day and uh when
I was when we were eating dinner, because Natalia knows
their daughter, you know, she's met her a bunch of times, right,
and she worked for Garagos and I think she like
hung out with his daughter while she was working for
Garagos one day in the office or something. Anyway, Yeah,
I was telling her about that and she was like,
whoa what, like she couldn't believe it. I go, well,
you know they're they're criminal defense attorneys.
Speaker 1: But also if you're P Diddy, h do you kind
of want Mark Garago said, not Mark Geragos's daughter. I
like thinking that I could understand, like clients that are
we don't have never heard of that are, Like i
want the the offices of Garagos. But I'm not getting
Garagos right now. But P Diddy, you think could afford
Garagos himself?
Speaker 3: Yes, but I think he had he hired this attorney
who the guy and she's I guess they're his daughter.
Mark's daughter is working for this guy. It's got an
Italian last name or something.
Speaker 1: Oh, so it's not she knows, she doesn't she I
don't know if she if she is an independent contractor,
I don't know. But she's working with this other attorney
that he hired, working with him. So when you see
like Prescott, he's the one doing all the talking. That's
so interesting, and I feel like he doesn't she work
with her dad or maybe she is but I don't,
or maybe she doesn't want to, maybe she doesn't want
to be seen as a net bo baby or I
don't care.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not like yes, not like she was
a PA and hired to work on you know, a
TV show and she went to Yeah, she went to
law school.
Speaker 1: I think she's like.
Speaker 3: On on you know, the the board in New York.
I don't know, law board something something, I don't know.
But she's she definitely knows her ship. But it's unclear
what firm she works for or who. I don't know,
but I just saw like, yes, that was his daughter.
And but I think the I think the lawyer that
p did he hired is and it was I think
he handles a lot of like gang, you know, organized
crime kind of thing.
Speaker 1: So I think he's kind of used to that thing.
Speaker 3: But anyway, so Natalia, I was telling her about that, yeah,
and then and then we were talking about the menandas brothers.
And then she was like, I hope that you think
Mark's gonna help them get out and stuff, and she's
because she watched the Netflix thing and she felt really
bad for them.
Speaker 1: So we were talking about that. Can I interject one
quick thing about the that show? Yeah? The Netflix. So
I literally had to turn it off because there was
an entire episode where it was just sexual abuse the
entire time. I was like, this is not entertaining in
the least, Like you could say it's an educational I guess,
but did you There was an entire episode with them
on the stand, with and him talking to the lawyer
in the jail. Oh, the whhire episode. So eventually I
was like, let me just fast forward, let me keep
fast forwarding. And I was like and then it end. O, Yes,
it's the whole entire episode is him describing described sexual abuse. Yeah,
no trigger warning, no nothing, just like, yeah, that's not fun. Now.
Speaker 3: I guess it's like trying to, you know, tell their
whole story.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I felt like so
detailed and it was so long. I know, it's over
and over and over in every detail of it.
Speaker 3: It didn't even cut away. It was just him talking
the whole time. Yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, I
just felt like that it was just like that, didn't
we talk about it?
Speaker 1: The acting was so over the.
Speaker 3: Top, yes, yes, screaming and hot temper and telling an.
Speaker 1: That's where they lost. Basically I just stopped like watching.
But anyway, so I didn't finish it. But okay, So anyway, this.
Speaker 3: Is what we were talking about at dinner with Sunny
in Italian. But okay, so then then, so it was
a nice time. Then the next day, well, I asked
Sunny had In and Out for the last time before
we left, because he's like, I'm really going to miss
it in and Out And I go, oh, that's well,
And I said, do you want is there anything else
you want like I want to do before we leave town?
And he's like, I really want to go to the
Natural History Museum.
Speaker 1: I know it's so cute.
Speaker 3: Yes, So we went there and that was just the
best day, like we had so much fun. We talked
the whole ride there and the whole ride, like he
he played me some Bobby Darren song, you.
Speaker 1: Know, because he put on the tea. We put the
TV on.
Speaker 3: To play music for Phil and he was like, let
me I go, Sonny, turn turn the music on for
Phil and he put He's like, I'm gonna put on
this like jazz station and they were playing some song
and he's like, do you know some song that came on?
He's like, do you know Bobby Darren like wrote a
song based on this song that was playing. And I
was like no, and how do you know about that?
He's like, oh, it's a good song. I'll play it
for you. I can't I don't remember the name. But anyway,
so we we talked the whole way there and the
whole way back and we just had so much fun
at the at the at the museum and we were
talking about he was talking about poker games that he
was that he had in high school with his friends
and just like the arguing going back, you know, you
was just telling me stories like with his friends and stuff,
and it was just it was a great We had
a great day. It was a lot. It was It
was really sweet. Had a great day with him. It
was just you know, I like, I've been home with
Sonny since you know, obviously since Natalia left, it's just
been the two of us. But it was you know,
being with him all the time at the house and
having him around, just the two of us. So and
then having that day made it even extra hard when
I left.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know what Sonny didn't do. He didn't
shit the nest. That's right, that's right. We talked about that.
He didn't shit the nest and make you go like, good,
get go go. No, he did the opposite. I made
the nest like really beautiful and fun and comfortable and happy. Yeah.
I know, darn it, Sonny. Why couldn't you shit the nest? Right?
Speaker 3: I forgot about that term. We talked about that a
while ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. So anyway, so we so
then uh so you had fun at the Natural History Museum,
yes you Yeah, then you got back so that was Wait,
so Tuesday I was at Barbara, we went to Yeah, Wednesday,
you went to the Natural History Museum.
Speaker 3: And then Thursday hung out with his friends and like
they went they took him out to dinner Thursday night,
and then Friday we got we got up did I
tell you Olga came with us. No, because of the
change of plans with his dad and everything. And she
was like, I would really like to go with you, Lena.
I think that it would be really nice if we
went together. I will, I would, I would just go
on my own. I really want to help you, you know.
And I was like, it's I'm gonna be okay, and
she's like, yeah, but I really want. I really want
to go with you. And I was like, okay, all right,
and I am so happy she came because oh my god,
his okay, his apartment building is three stories, no elevator.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 3: Yes, and we had a lot of shit to buy
once we got there, and okay, wait, yeah, tell me
everything though.
Speaker 1: So you so you leave, so we let so packed.
How many bags did you pack? So now you have
one extra person to like bring stuff to Yes, so
we got three.
Speaker 3: I had three suitcases to check with all of his
stuff and then yeah, and so then we flew that,
and then I had all these other things, but then
I returned them because it was going to be too
much to take.
Speaker 1: So okay, so three suitcases.
Speaker 3: Then we so we fly out Friday morning. We get
to Eugene. Beautiful Eugene. The weather is so nice because
over here it's like one hundred degrees this week, not
for long though, then it's going to rain, right, but
over there, like the wind is blowing the leaves or
you know, it's fall, Like we don't have that yet here.
Speaker 1: So it was it was a really nice weather.
Speaker 3: And Okay, So we get to his building and you know,
it's cued on the outside, and the manager of the
building was really nice.
Speaker 1: All college students.
Speaker 3: Gave us a little tour and there's just like this
common area for the kids to study, and then there's
a kitchen.
Speaker 1: Now these are community college students or these are students.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, okay, yeah, and he is, which I'm glad
this happened this way. When I was looking into places
for him, I didn't realize it. But he is very
close to the University Oregon, which is good because his
his a couple of his friends that he knows that
are there are like a block away from where he lives.
Speaker 1: Oh good, yes, But.
Speaker 3: Then his campus is about a ten minute drive he
has to go, and he's got the bus scheduled, so
he's going to be taking the bus start school today.
So we get there and and then they show us
around and there's there. They provide meals for the students breakfast, lunch, dinner,
and then they have like snacks and coffee in the
main area.
Speaker 1: Uh. And I think that's it. So that's like a
meal plan for somebody college, Like you buy, it's.
Speaker 3: Not just community, it's it's for college, it's for any
of this. It's student housing. Yeah, so if you lease there,
that's what you get. That's included in the lease.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And it's not a big building. It's kind of small.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I didn't, I don't. I didn't see
any other buildings on the inside. But it doesn't seem
like it's that many like rooms and dorms or whatever.
Some dorms have like two people or three people, and
then some are single. Then he got a single and
he's got he's got a upstairs downstairs it's like a loft,
you know. And he just has like a sink in,
a microwave and a little refrigerator. And I thought he
was gonna have like a little like Natalia's got a
stove and an oven.
Speaker 1: No, because he doesn't need that.
Speaker 3: They're they have they're making didn't they're making food downstairs,
you know, right, so which is nice. And then yeah,
so then we get in and like we carried the
stuff up and then we just made lists and lists
of things to get and then we got a lot
of stuff done.
Speaker 1: The first day we got there. So like, what kind
of stuff did he need? Because it's basically furnished, right, there's.
Speaker 3: Well, it just had a bed upstairs and just like
a little couch downstairs, and that was it.
Speaker 1: It was their room for cause I know with LB
we were thinking, like my friend was like, oh do
you want this? I have this sling backed chair and
I have whatever stuff. And when I walked into her apartment,
I was like, oh no, there's no room for any furniture.
Like there was a couch and a table and that
there's no walls, Like, there's no room, no furniture. Was
there room at some there was some room. Yeah, there
was some room.
Speaker 3: And the nice thing though, is he had a pantry
in downstairs by his little kitchenette area, like walk in pantry,
you know, pretty big to keep all.
Speaker 1: Of his you know, dry food. I bought him.
Speaker 3: So there was there's that, and then upstairs he's got
like a little walk in closet and a built in
desk upstairs. So you know, so we what did we do? Oh,
I got him a little TV upstairs. He has you know,
he loves his sports, so he's got that. And then
I got him you know, he just needed like fans,
he needed, uh, clocks he needed and then like you know,
trash bags and everything, like I stocked him with you know,
food like microwaveable macaroni and cheese and oat meal and
all that kind of stuff, snacks, all that stuff, and
then everything like like plastic utensils and paper plates and cups,
you know, everything plastic because you know, yeah, you know,
he can go downstairs get food and bring it upstairs.
And he got him a little like tray to sit
on the couch and.
Speaker 1: Eat, you know.
Speaker 3: And I got him a little autumnan for the couch downstairs,
and just that kind of stuff. But it was it
was the stuff we got were kind of heavy, and like,
oh and I got him a little bean bag chair.
He wanted a bean bag chair that could fit next
to the next to his sofa, and then so just
that kind of stuff. But everything is just so bulky
and heavy. And you know, but we got everything done,
like in the first day, then the second day. In
the first night we went out to dinner, which was nice,
and then and then he went after we were so tired. Well,
then I went back to our room, went to sleep,
and he went out with his friend, met up with
his friend out there, yeah, and walked around and then oh,
one of the things, there's a skylight in his door.
So it's right above his like where he sleeps, so
it's just this huge light and you can't put curtain.
I mean, it's a skylight. So I came up with
the idea of getting one of the you know, resistant rods,
like curtain rods, and we put we put him all
the way across, and then I got curtain panels just
to block out that light. And he's made a huge difference.
The next day. Okay, first day it was like so bright.
He was like, thank god, we got those curtains up.
So we did that, just that kind of stuff, and
then yeah, then we went out to dinner that night,
and then the next day we went and did more stuff,
went and got more things for him, and then went
out to dinner again that night, and it was really
cute because he his friend kept going like what are
you doing tonight? And he's like, oh, I'm you know,
I'm gonna go to dinner with my mom and Olga.
And I was like, Sonny, you can go out. You
can go out with your friend, you know. And he's
like it's okay, it's okay, you know. But he was
so appreciative and so sweet, and you know, help and
it's constantly like helping us get like I got it,
like I got like the heavy stuff, like I got it,
I got it, you know. And and then you know,
we got him settled, and I felt good leaving him yesterday,
left yesterday morning.
Speaker 1: Wait, so okay, so Saturday night, did you say bye
to him or did you go back Sunday morning? I'll
tell you. Should we take a little.
Speaker 3: Breakah, let's take a little break, and then I'll tell
you about the goodbye.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. Okay. So so Saturday night, you go
back to your room, you go to sleep after everything,
and then Sunday morning, Sunday.
Speaker 3: Morning, I just I wanted to get him a couple things,
Like he has his set of keys, and he kept
getting you know, he's like three or four keys, so
I wanted again. There's just like a few loose end
things that we didn't get, you know, just couldn't find
or whatever. Everything was wiped out at like, we went
to Target because everybody at the university organ moved in
the week before. Melissa was just there with Archie the
week before moving him in. So when we got there
a week later, I mean every like fans are sold out.
I mean, you know a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1: And was this an official move in for this building? Yes?
Well was there college since it's all students?
Speaker 3: Was no?
Speaker 1: I think they moved in life.
Speaker 3: It just this this building was like when when you
when do you want to move in?
Speaker 1: Got it you can come? Oh kind of thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they really the guy, the manager guy is
super nice, really very helpful. He's like, yeah, we got
a we got a bunch of kids going to the
community college that are staying here this year. And he
told Sony about the bus route and where to catch
the bus and stuff, which is great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was really helped.
Speaker 3: People are really nice and Eugene super sweet. Like, you know,
we we took an uber want because I rented a
car and it was this big suv and my god,
like it was just such a pain in the ass
to park anywhere. So we the second night we just said,
you know, let's just take an uber to go eat
and uh it was.
Speaker 1: Like she pulls up and she's like had a net
and I was like, oh hi, oh that's cute.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really cute and you know, very talking.
Like everybody's super super friendly, super helpful. The areas where
like Sonny loves the nature.
Speaker 1: He's not like LB and Italia. You know, he likes trees,
Albi likes pac son Yes, right, slight difference. Yes, yes,
uh so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's he's he was enjoying it and he was
very comfortable. And then Sunday morning we went and you know,
got him all finished up, and then where we left
to go to the airport and was saying goodbye to him,
and I just started crying. Of course you did. I
don't what's wrong with me. I didn't cry when I
said by to Italia because.
Speaker 1: It's different because he's a flight away. He's a flight
away and she's. It feels different. There's something different about
knowing you could just get in your car and go
see her, right totally, And that's how I feel. Yeah,
And there's something very different about a whole like it's
a whole thing. Yeah, but you can't just go. You
can't just if he calls you and goes, mom, I
need help. Can you just come for the weekend.
Speaker 3: It's harder, right, I agree, Yeah, yeah, And he's farther
away and he's but yeah, he's just he's a sensitive kid.
And then when he saw me cry, the oldest started
crying and he started choking up and crying, you know,
and we were just hugging him goodbye, and he like
thanked us so much.
Speaker 1: He was like, thank you guys so much.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad both of you came, you know, I'm like,
it was so grateful, and yeah, it was really sweet
and yeah, and we left. Yeah, and then I called
him last night and he stayed in. I got him
a microwavable pizza.
Speaker 1: But now you were leaving him like in the morning.
But his dad was coming to to like be with
him that night. So he was going to have his
dad there.
Speaker 3: With him, right, WHOA, Oh, well that was the plan.
But when I was leaving, he got a text from
his dad that his dad's his grandpa was in bad.
Speaker 1: Shape and he had to fly home. Oh.
Speaker 3: So he said, he's gonna come. He's rescheduling his trip.
Speaker 1: He's going to go out And like, wait, so he'd
never flown out there.
Speaker 3: No, he didn't go to you, No, not, No, he
was supposed to fly in to Eugene. Oh okay that day,
so he canceled his day. Yeah, so, but he said
he's gonna come out in like a week or two.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So I don't know when I I asked him last
night if he talked to his dad about his grandpa.
Speaker 1: But he didn't really have any information. So so was
Sunny bum that he was just kind of on his
own or was he like cool with it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's Sonny was yeah, Sonny, Sonny, he was like,
you know, he was okay.
Speaker 1: So he was starting classes just today this morning, Monday, yes, wow, yeah, yeah,
so he figured so he was just gonna be cool,
like the getting on the bus to yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they have this app out there for bus
routes and stuff. But you know, one of the things
I did want to do is go for a drive
to see the campus, to see where it was and stuff.
And we were going to do that, but then we
got caught up with we were just I really wanted
to get him set with everything he needed before I left,
because he doesn't have a car to go just run
out and get a mile you know or whatever.
Speaker 1: Right, So, is there a store like nearby?
Speaker 3: Is there a the Tarja is like fifteen minutes ten
to fifteen minute.
Speaker 1: Drive, so he'd have to uber for to any to
go get supply to go to like a target or something.
Speaker 3: But there there are like you know, there's like a
safe way I think or something walking distances, yes, and
yeah for groceries, he can just walk but there. I
mean I think he might get a he might get
a scooter, yeah, because I hear bikes get stolen pretty
frequently out there, and he's like, I don't know, I
just still want to deal with a bus, you know,
and having to get the bike on the bus or whatever.
But scooter's more easier to take around. So I think
he's going to look into getting one of those. But yeah,
and then he starts today and uh, he's settled, and
there's kids everywhere. I mean Saturday night they were It's
rush week, so like everybody was like out in the streets.
Same in Santa Barbara. There's just kids everywhere walking around,
you know, just everywhere you look, and it's it feels nice,
you know, in that community, like it's okay. You know,
they're they're surrounded by other kids, you know.
Speaker 1: Right, right, did he make any friends with anybody like
on his floor, like we're people being friendly.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's a girl across the way. Yeah, her
name was Emily, and her and her mom and they
were like, you know we of course the moms start talking,
of course, right, and then Sonny and introduced himself to her,
so he met her, but.
Speaker 1: We didn't really see. I mean we saw people coming
and going.
Speaker 3: It was a lot of like people moving in, carrying
things up the stairs, opening the doors for each other,
that kind of thing. But no, like you're not in
an elevator so you can chit chat, you know, like
Attalia's building right, right, kind of passing people. But he
did meet other kids, like when he went to see
his friend that's at the college dorm like a block away.
Speaker 1: So that's his friend who goes to University of Oregon though, Yeah,
okay that he went to high school with. Right, does
he have any friends that are going to the community college? No? Okay, No, Wow,
that's pretty brave, I know, just doing that on his own. Yeah,
going to community college. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean I think a lot of kids go off
to college and don't really know anybody. I think they're
lucky if they have friends that go where they go.
I would think, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: I just I guess like and and community college, like
is what you make of it? I think like Lbe
made nothing of going to Pierce, Right, she didn't really,
I mean she knew a few people there, but she didn't.
She only she did mostly like online classes. She had
one class in person twice a week, but she didn't
join any clubs or be any In her mind, she
was just like, this is just high school. But I'm
just getting it done. And her friends were at her job,
so but you know, other kids make peers like a
college experience, you know. But she in her mind, she
was like, I'm going to be here a year. I
just wanted to take my classes, get my grades, and
get out. But you know, I'm sure that the Oregon
City College is that what it is?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Laane, it's called oh okay.
Speaker 1: I'm sure that there's a lot of kids that there's
clubs and there's ways he could get involved, right.
Speaker 3: No, I know, And you know he's the Stunny and
Italia are both kind of you know, looking at it
as you know, this is their like they're they're just
I think they both wanted to go away and be
on their own and then but you know they're they're
just wanting to they want to get into the university,
you know. And that's especially like that's why Natalia is
taking as much as she can right now. And her
roommate is great because she's been there for a year
and she's already like she came with us to dinner
that night, and she was just so like she knew,
like was guiding Natalia with everything. And she's a good student,
she has a full time job and uh, she's just
a really good friend for Natalia right now, which is great.
I love her roommate. So yeah, so I think the
you know, there, they'll be, they'll be fine. I think
Sonny's enjoying it, you know. I think he's been wanting
to be on his own.
Speaker 1: Kind of thing. Have you heard from him yet today?
Not today? No?
Speaker 3: No, I said I'm at tex silfversting this morning. Hi,
sunny Money.
Speaker 1: I know it's funny. I've been texting Elbie a lot
and I have to sometimes like but I texted her
a lot when she was at home because I didn't
see her that much, so I was like texting her. Yeah,
but it's so it's like I'm trying I try not
to a little bit like I because I feel, I
don't know, I'm like very attached to her. But also like, okay,
so say so not Sadie. Elbe is rushing story right?
Did I tell you guys that on the show? I
think you said she was going to Yeah, she was
going to so okay, yeah, so rush. So the whole
process probably started after we recorded our last show. It's
just so far from my experience. I'm really trying to
give myself up to the fact that, you know, I
didn't go to college at all. I don't know if
I've mentioned that ever, but having never had that experience,
I do have kind of a bias, like I feel
like a sororities. That sounds so stupid. You know, all
the conform you know, conformity and is that a word?
I just made myself like conformity. That's a word, right, Yeah,
like all that, it just seems so it's not in
my wheelhouse. So then I try to make assumptions for
my kids, like, oh, well she should. She wouldn't like that,
but she kind of would like yes. It's funny because
I've always been way more of a rebel than Elba's.
Elbe's always been much more of a rule follower. Basic
She's a basic bitch, and she'll tell you she's basic bitch.
And she wants to do and blend with other kids
and do what other kids are doing. And it's always
been harder for her to be the first Like okay,
Elpie got a job. She was the first one of
her friends to get a job. But a lot of
that was me pushing her and being like, your your
friend group at school is causing you a lot of pain,
and like, fuck those bitches, get a job and like
expand your horizons and do your own thing. And you know,
I pushed her into it, and I was the one
who had to be like she didn't once she got
she got she applied m I kind of oversaw her applying,
not oversaw she did her own application and you know,
had to describe herself. When she got the interviews, she
freaked out. Then when she got it offered the job,
she almost backed out of it. Remember that she was
like no, because I think I kind of really want
to work at pacsun and work in retail. And I
was like, no, you don't. This is gonna be way
more fun. And plus the fact that Paxa's not offering
you a job and this place is you're accepting the job,
and she was like okay. And then of course she
was so thrilled to have a job and loved it
and you know, worked there for three years. But my
point is she's it's hard for her to not do
what everyone else is doing. So when she told me
that all of her roommate everybody's rushing sororities and she
wants she thinks she wants to do it too, I
was like, here we go, because she kept saying I'm
just going to check it out and like if it's
not for me, it's not for me. And I was like,
it's of course it's going to be for her as
soon as she goes, because Elbie is the kind of
kid who if she's in a situation where people have
to validate you or like you, and then they do,
she's going to be all like.
Speaker 3: Totally yes, yeah, of course. And I don't blame her,
you know.
Speaker 1: It was because old that was like what is rush?
What does that mean?
Speaker 3: And we were like explaining it to her and I
I was thinking about it, and you know, I've never
been in a sorority or but it.
Speaker 1: Does make cud.
Speaker 3: It makes sense to kind of have like a they
become like your family, you know, and they kind of
like look like, look, don't they look out for you?
Speaker 1: Or they're like your big sorority sister or whatever. You know, Yeah,
all that stuff, yes, right, But on the other hand,
I'm like, you also are in an apartment with eight
that's people so like and and every text I get
from Elb is like, Okay, this is really cute. I've
gotten so many texts from Elbe where she's just like, Mom,
I love it here, Mom, I'm so happy. I love college.
Oh my god, my roomies are literally my besties, Like
this is the greatest thing ever. So part of me
is like, Okay, then why do you need also sorority?
Like you're already happy, right, can't we just say how
about we have that? And then you get a job
and then you do your school work, you know, like, oh,
why do we need a sorority on top of that?
It seems like, yeah, bananas and bananas at this point, right, sure,
as the comedy writers say so, But I'm not I'm
not gonna like yeah, it's funny too, because I've also
thought like, it's going to be expensive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that part I didn't. I don't know how that works.
Speaker 1: What is it how? I don't know. I don't know
exactly how much it costs, but I think it's expensive.
But then here's the thing. I was talking to Robin
about this the other day because she was like well,
are you going to make you can make her pay
for it? And I'm like, I'm not going to make
her pay for it. This kid had a bad year.
She got a lot of rejection. Last we all know
what LB went through. And the thing is, she saved
me two full years of tuition, So like, it seems
weird to then turn around and be like, oh, something
that costs a few thousand dollars. We were planning to
send her to pay for college for four years. Now
we have to pay for college for two years for her.
So then do I turn around and go, Nope, not
paying for you to be in a store. She wants
to have the full college experience. I'm gonna let her
have the full college experience. John was in a fraternity.
John went to four years of Syracuse did the deal,
did everything, lived at school, and John almost flunked out
of school. He was put on academic probation because he
partied so much his first two years. Neither John nor
I have a leg to stand on to demand some
kind of like academic rigor. By the way, I've been
doing this thing with Sadie and Xander, Sadie has been
feeling this is like off topic for a minute. I'll
get back to Elbie's school. But this is just a
little again. I'm gonna preface this by saying, this is
not apparenting how to show. This could be used as
a what not to do. It's anti advice, right, I'm
flying by the seat of my fucking pants here. Okay.
I don't claim to have any of the answers. I
was a terrible student. I was a non joiner for everything.
I can't demand perfection from my kids. My kids, Xander
is already a perfectionist. He's hard on himself. Sadie has
been putting a lot of pressure on herself to like
do really well in school. So my new thing with
my kids is to tell them to like aim for
mediocre constantly. I'm just like, stop aiming for perfect, stop
trying to be great, right, aim for like just Okay,
And especially with Sadie, this is not I'm not telling
people like, hey, have low expectations of your kids, but
also sometimes our kids can have really high expectations of themselves.
They don't need the added pressure. I'm like, don't try
to get straight. A's Sadie on my account, Like, yeah,
I always tell them, I'm like I did terrible in
high school. Things worked out, like things are going to
work out how they're gonna work out. If you're I
don't necessarily think you belong at a college that expects
like insane rigor and like you two have taken a
million AP classes and like, if you don't take a
bunch of AP classes, yeah, you're not meant to go
to a school that demands that. Like there's schools for everyone, exactly, Yeah,
you don't have to like there there's community college, there's
and so every day I go, Okay, be mediocre, because
they're gonna try hard anyway. They don't need me being like, well,
what happened on that last test you took? Did you
get an A? Are you studying hard for this?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Of course they are. But I also want my kids
to like have some fun, yes, and be social.
Speaker 3: Your kids have always been that uh that, you know,
wanting to get good grades and wanting to take I
know where.
Speaker 1: They get that from. Yeah, they're not getting it from
me and John. We are not putting that on them. Right.
Let's just I want my kids to I want my
kids to prioritize their mental health. That's really what I want.
I want them to be happy and well adjusted kids.
That is why they're all getting therapy and they're all
getting told to be mediocre because I because they sweat
the small stuff. They worry about every test. Yes, I know,
you know what's you know what helps us parents not
worry as much? Planning for our future? Yes, and our
kids is future. Yes. I think that it's so important.
It's so important to think about things like life insurance.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and it's uh, you know, we're we're taking
care of our kids by enrolling them in you know,
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But another important way to take care of them is, uh,
with a term of life insurance policy for you in
case the unexpected happens and you're not around anymore. That's
where Fabric by Gerber Life comes in.
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Not available in certain states. Prices subject to underwriting and
health questions. Hell yeah, hell yeah so anyway, that's them.
So with LB, I'm like, you know what, go live
your life, follow your dreams, you know, far be it
from me to go. That's two. I'm not paying for that,
Like I don't want to rent under parade yet, but
it has been so interesting listening to. Okay, so the
first day, here's how it works for anybody, for anybody
that has kids who have rushed a story. You already know,
you already know this. I didn't know any of this.
Every I'm getting up to the minute, like updates from her. Okay,
so spoiler alert. Today is bid day Monday, so by
this by tonight, we will know what sorority she's in. Okay, Okay,
So it started out with like they go meet all
the houses. I guess real, I think they quickly meet
every single house. They wear like a white shirt, a
white T shirt school shirt, like a UCLA shirt, and
then they just go around they meet everybody. Then they
put their top I believe that night they they do
their prefs which is their preferences, which is so she
puts down our top eight that she likes, that she likes.
Then or maybe she just ranks them all and then
they I'm going to get some of this wrong, so
forgive me. But so the first night they also then
the sororities rank her, so they so she could get drop.
So she picks like her top eight and then some
of those could they either have to like her back
or she gets dropped by something that what does she
do when she goes and meets them? What does she just?
I think they just meet different girls and they sit
with them and they talk to them, and they see
if they vibe okay, like do you guys vibe like?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: And then they ask you questions. And I saw some
of this I know from TikTok. But they have to
avoid they're suppose they have to avoid some of the
five bees booze. So they're not really supposed to talk
about like partying because that's really superficial, and that, like
talking about booze is very superficial. Boys superficial, Like we're
not talking about boys and where the hottest boys are
and who's the hottest sorority. All they're going to talk
about is boys. Oh yeah, once they're in, Yes, that's
all they're going to talk about. Bucks. Okay, don't talk
about money, that is like very ghost.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: Politics, so I don't know how that's a bee Biden,
you know. Nope, don't talk about politics, and don't talk
about religion, okay, So okay, so those are the things
you're not supposed to talk about. But I don't know,
if you're super religious, you're probably gonna be like talking
about religion, right, how much you love Jesus whatever? Sure,
you know, yeah, let people know who you are whatever,
So you talk about other things who you are. You
let them get a taste of who you are, Like,
what's your interests? You know, what's your major? Why are
you at UCLA? Blah blah blah. Okay, so then they
narrow it down. The next day they visit eight, I guess,
and then you rank those and then a couple of
them are gonna drop you or you match basically. So
then the following day she was matched with five. Okay,
so she got back. She ranked her top five and
they all liked her back. So she's been having a
very positive experience. That's good, she said. The first day
she got dropped by one, but it was one that
she ranked low anyway, that she wasn't that into, so
she didn't care. Yeah, the top five all liked her back.
So then and one of them is Bella's sorority. Oh nice. Yeah,
So then she saw two on Thursday and three on Friday. Okay,
how do they match? What have they got an app?
I don't know how that works. Yeah, but every morning
she wakes up and then there's an email saying which
one's so she puts in her preferences. Maybe there's an app.
Then the next day she finds out if they liked
her back. Okay, so what Thursday morning she found out
that all five that she ranked the highest all liked
her back. So then she visited two of them Thursday
and three of them Friday. She comes home Friday and
she's just like mom, all caps in the text, Oh
my god, I love them all. I don't know, it's like, oh,
but she picked. Then she picked her top three. Then
Sunday morning or I don't know if she was at
her top two. All I know, okay, is that she
had okay, I think it was top three. Then Sunday
she visited two. Then she had to rank them in
order of what house she really wants. Okay, So basically
I guess Sunday morning she was like, mom, my top
two both liked me back. That so you know, because
it could have been one she ranked lower be more
into her. And then she has to decide between one
that she really likes and one that was ranked a
little lower, so her top two also like her back.
So she was just beyond excited, like I'm just getting
furious all caps texts of like I'm so happy. I
didn't expect to love this so much. And I'm like, also,
you're happy because the who you they liked you. You're
getting validated. Like how much of this is about loving
the idea of being in a sorority and how much
of it is like oh like me, Yeah that's cute. Yeah,
so let's see. So that was so now she had
to decide, so she went and visited her top two
and she came home and she was like, I just
don't know what I'm going to do. I love them
both so much. I'm I'm going to be really happy
with either, Like I wish it was random because I
love both of these houses and one of them's Bellas.
So she ranked those two but it was really hard
for her to do. And then today is bid day, Okay,
so tonight there'll be some ceremony where they all the
girls get an envelope and then they open their envelope
and it tells them what house they're in. And I
think there will be a lot of screaming, right, and
then she will go run to her sorority house.
Speaker 3: So okay, And then is this something that they do
in freshman year and then they're stuck with this or
not stuck, but they're with the sorority throughout their rest
of their.
Speaker 1: I guess yes. But also I think that like one
of Elbie's really good friends was in a sorority in
Oregon where she was and like already by the end
of freshman year was like no, she didn't like, this
is not for me, so she dropped it and went.
So I think a lot of girls by the time
their juniors like drop their like are life. Yeah, I
think it's a really big time I've heard it's a
big time commitment. Yeah, so what I actually telling me, Mom,
it's not because I'm like I'm concerned about the time commitment,
Like are you going to be able to also have
a job, because girl, you need to have a job,
because I'll pay for the sorority and I am paying
for her tuition, but like I I'm not paying for
like all the ubers and all the partying and all that.
Like she needs to have a part time job and
she's used to having a job, and I know that
she can have a job and I manage her time,
so I don't want another thing that's actually costing me
money that's also going to compete for work time. But
what she's like, no, there's like one meeting a week.
I don't know. I think she's in for a route
awakening when she finds out what yeah, because what do
they do? She's like, I either ask them what the
time commitment is. I've asked them like what is expected,
and they keep saying there's just like this one meeting.
And also, oh, she wrote to me. She goes, Mom,
guess what you get free food if you're at the
sorority house? Like you for free? And I was like, well,
it's not free, right, that's true. Yeah, and then she
said me roll emoji. Yeah. I'm like I used to
have a stand up joke that was like, remember when
you would go when you were a little kid. This
was about going to Disneyland as an adult. How it's
just not as fun, right, And I was like, remember
when you were little and Disneyland was free? Like yeah,
because your parents everything. So you're like this is so cool, right,
I get my mouse ears and meals and all the rides,
and it's like, because somebody was paying for your ass,
I know. Yeah, it just made me laugh that she
thought that the meals were free at the sorority house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not a charity exactly. So but do they
live in the sorority house or do they They don't
live there. She will never live there, right, but do
some girls do?
Speaker 1: Or they just have? So here's how it works. A
lot of girls. So as a freshman, you get, you
pick your sorority, you rush, and then you're in the sorority.
And then a lot of them elect to live in
the sorority house for sophomore year, got it. Most of
them don't continue living their junior year or senior year.
Oh they outgrow it, yeah kind of. And then some
of them drop the sorority by then, which is which
opens up some space for transfer students because it looks
good for them to have like juniors and seniors who
will then graduate and still be affiliated with the sorority
because they will ask you for money for the rest
of your life. Oh yeah, sure, because then you're an
alum of that sorority.
Speaker 3: Right right. Wow, I'm just curious, what do they do
all day.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but these bitches are going to be
friends for life, right because like, don't you know people
that are like, oh, have their sorority sisters are still
their best friends when they're like sixty. Yeah that now
I know, Like you and I have none of that,
like we need to, right, we each have like a
couple of friends that we've known forever. We don't have
our best friends from college now, like we're like still
back on high school, right. I got my friends from
my high school that was our glory days. Yeah exactly, Yeah,
we went to work, Kaitlin. You don't have that experience either.
I do not. Do you have friends that are we're
big like frack eyes?
Speaker 2: Uh? You have my best friend that I've known since
I was three. He was the typical lacrosse player, frat dude.
But he went to school in New York, so I
never like, let's go visit him or anything. But yeah,
he was a big He was a big fraternity guy.
Speaker 1: And does he still is. He still friends with a
lot of his.
Speaker 2: Frat brothers, I think.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 1: Yah. Here's the weird thing, though, Linette. Yeah, you see
these kids as you saw them too, and you're like
these are basically glorified high school students. They are, So
how are you finding your best friend? Like I don't understand,
like you're going to change so much? How are these
your friends forever? And I know all the people listening
to us are like, you don't understand, like college, like
you know, it's so formative and those friends are just
your friends forever. But I don't get it because these
kids look sixteen. They look so young to me.
Speaker 3: So the other night, we were going back to our
hotel and we were just leaving Sonny's place and a
lot of one way streets in his area.
Speaker 1: But anyway, going down.
Speaker 3: The street, there's kids everywhere walking around. There's like a
bunch of girls all dressed in.
Speaker 1: Like blue.
Speaker 3: Like wigs and just like all dressed alike. Like I
don't know what they were doing. Then there's all just
there's kids just everywhere, just kids everywhere.
Speaker 1: Oh I know what they were doing?
Speaker 3: Were they doing? It was rush weeks that they were.
Speaker 1: Probably oh wait, oh yeah.
Speaker 3: Maybe why what did you think they were doing?
Speaker 1: For a second, I was, well, for a second, and
I'm completely wrong. I was like, oh, well, because there
was a big Oregon UCLA game there was, which I
went to. But I don't know why people would be
being blue for UCLA.
Speaker 3: And that game was on. Oh yeah, it was in
the same night. Yeah, yeah, Saturday night. He was watching
that game. Yeah it was a blowout though, right.
Speaker 1: It was. Yeah, I was there when he went to
the game. Yeah, I went to the game. I'll tell
you about that on Friday. Okay, anyway, there's this kid.
Speaker 3: We're going and there's this kid walking by himself. And
when I say walking, that's being you know, generous.
Speaker 1: He was not.
Speaker 3: He was like going and slow. He was clearly really
really drunk. Okay, but he was looking at his phone
and I was at first, I was like, I'm concerned
about that kid.
Speaker 1: Do you think we should check on him?
Speaker 3: But there was cars behind me, and I didn't want
to like just stop in the middle. It was a
one way narrow street, and I didn't want to just stop,
and I was concerned. I was like, should we go
around the block and like check on him? So I
went around again. Because remember there was a story recently
where the kid was in college. They were out of
town on a with his fraternity brothers, but they were
in like South Carolina, North Carolina and he was missing.
Speaker 1: Yes, I was thought of that when you started to
say there was a kid wandering drunk, That's what I
When I saw that, I thought, because that poor kid
and they found him in like a ravine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because he was drunk and he accidentally died.
Speaker 1: So I thought about that.
Speaker 3: So then I drove around the block and I was
gonna pull over.
Speaker 1: You know, when I wasn't.
Speaker 3: I don't know what my plan was, but I wanted
to check on him. And then I went around the
block and then he was gone. But I was like,
I felt, I don't know, it's just like it didn't sit.
I thought about that kid the whole night. But I tried.
But anyway, but there was still but there was a
ton of kids on the street. You know, his friends
could have been walking five feet ahead of him, and
there's just kids everywhere. But he was clearly no condition
to be walked. Yeah, he was really drunk, and I
really felt bad for him.
Speaker 1: Well, there's gonna be a lot of that, I know, Yeah,
a lot of drunkenness.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but not Sunny, No, not Sonny no. Well, I
mean who knows. Yeah, but you know he's got his
head that screwed on straight. That's all I can hope.
Speaker 1: So yeah, well, let's say hello to our friends and
wrap this show because we have more. We have more
for you on Friday. But first let's say hi to
Dick frolcking and Kelly Lady Dah and Katie's rolling on
E and Nikki call your girl, Call your mom too,
and Leslie's Coast to Coast and uh Rita is rocking,
Elizabeth Williamson's many beautiful children in her Bessonette and Elizabeth
Williamson is Williams is falling over her children, yeah, and
taking pictures of them. And Athena Ginschert is dancing, and
Polly is making pancakes and Valerie is hitting it out
of the park. Katerina, check that Moeller seriously trust Gabby
and Missy. What are they doing? Oh? I saw them
now down in Eugenie.
Speaker 3: They were trying to get into the to the game,
but they didn't realize it was at the Rose Bowl.
Speaker 1: Guys, come back all right, Ishan Vajpe Rebecca Lubiner is
so cute and she just celebrated a lot of years
of sobriety. Yeah, and Kelly Brandt is not your aunt
and Alicia Escalante from the City of Almonte, and Leslie
with the coughing stop it, Stephanie Stinker Wrinker, Sara Stefano,
Aaron's a dirty Sanchez, Jennifer get up, Sandra's not easy
being green now, Samantha Cruz says, do you know someone
in North Carolina, Florida or Georgia on Medicare you know
what she actually? I'm sorry, I I Am going to
wait on hers because she changed her shout out a
little bit. But let's talk about Krista Stroup is giving
us the Chase Haley Project Chase and then h A L.
E Y Project. This is in honor of her friend
Sarah who lost her child to suicide and he was
only twenty one years old. And like, let's take away
the stigma of suicide and help fill in the gaps
in the community in Ohio where mental health needs aren't
being met. So Chase Haley Project. Also our friend Jen
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Adam Lerner is a car broker. He can help you
get a lease, buy a new car, buy a used car,
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And also you can just ask him questions. He's great.
You don't have to commit to anything you like. You
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Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: How should I do it? He'll give you free advice.
He just loves the car business.
Speaker 3: Good. Also Mike Gerstine My Gerstine. If you need any
plumbing advice or you want to FaceTime with him, or
if you're in an Arizona area, you can go to
Phoenix Plumbing Solutions dot com and all his infos right there.
Speaker 1: You can get a hold of him. If you're planning
a trip, which you're going to be planning a lot
of trips, Lynnette, why not use Christine Black with Storybook
World Travel. Find her on Facebook or Instagram. Also, if
you're in if you're on the island of Kawaii in Hawaii,
stop by Sugar Skull because that's our friend Maren's and
her husband's business. It's a bakery and gift shop. And
you could follow them on Instagram at sugar Skull eight
oh eight. Also Basic Becky for t shirts, for mouse pads,
for all the things you need, go to just Basicbecky
dot com or find her on Facebook at Basic Becky.
And if you're in Palm Springs, where you want to
go and.
Speaker 3: Lilama and Freda, Yes, love them delicious food, get a
free latte Ara Mimosa by mentioning f col Also, if
you were listening looking for a podcast about raising kids
without religion, Family Skeptical.
Speaker 1: It's about raising kids the way you want to raise
your kids. And they have a new episode every three weeks,
so check them out. And one more, Carrie Kibbler is
just Nate kna a t E k n a t
e dot com Just Nate. Okay, this is the guy
who does videos to help the homeless. That's nice, so
check them out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, all right, Thanks Calin, Thanks everybody.
Speaker 1: Your parent. Now, don't let it up. It's let ingle