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<v Speaker 1>Teething Ring by James Causey. This is a LibriVox recording.

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<v Speaker 1>All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more

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<v Speaker 1>information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Reading

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<v Speaker 1>by Greg Marguerite Teething Ring by James Causey. Anyone can

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<v Speaker 1>make in error, but the higher the society, the more

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<v Speaker 1>disastrous the mistake. Half an hour before, while she had

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<v Speaker 1>been engrossed in the current soap opera and Harry Junior

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<v Speaker 1>was screaming in his crib, Melinda would naturally have slammed

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<v Speaker 1>the front door in the little man's face. However, when

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<v Speaker 1>the bell rang, she was wearing her new Chinese red

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<v Speaker 1>house coat, had just lustered her nails to a blinding scarlet,

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<v Speaker 1>and Henry Junior was sleeping like an angel, yawning. Melinda

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<v Speaker 1>answered the door, and the little man said, beaming, excellent day,

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<v Speaker 1>I have geegaws for information. Melinda did not quite recoil.

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<v Speaker 1>He was perhaps five feet tall, with a gleaming, hairless

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<v Speaker 1>scalp and a young old face. He wore a plain

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<v Speaker 1>gray tunic and a peddler's tray hung from his thin shoulders.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't want any, Melinda stated flatly. Please he had great,

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<v Speaker 1>beseeching amber eyes. They all say that I haven't much time.

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<v Speaker 1>I must be back at the university by noon. You're

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<v Speaker 1>working your way through college, he brightened. Yes, I suppose

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<v Speaker 1>you could call it that alien anthropology major. Melinda softened

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<v Speaker 1>the initiations. Those frats pulled nowadays, shaving the poor guy's head,

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<v Speaker 1>eating old fish. It was criminal, well, she asked, grudgingly,

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<v Speaker 1>what's in the tray flanglers, said the little man eagerly.

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<v Speaker 1>Acilloscope's portable force field Generator's a normal distorder. Melinda's face

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<v Speaker 1>was blank. The little man frowned, You use them, of course,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a class four culture. Melinda essayed a weak shrug,

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<v Speaker 1>and the little man's side with relief. His eyes fled

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<v Speaker 1>past her to the blank screen of the TV scent

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<v Speaker 1>ah a monitor. He smiled. For a moment, I was afraid.

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<v Speaker 1>May I come in? Melinda shrugged, opened the door. This

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<v Speaker 1>might be interesting, like a vacuum cleaner salesman who had

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<v Speaker 1>cleaned her drapes last week for free, and Kitty Kyle battles.

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<v Speaker 1>Life wouldn't be on for almost an hour. My name

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<v Speaker 1>is Porteus, said the little man, with an eager smile.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm doing a thematic Class four cultures. He whipped out

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<v Speaker 1>a stylus began jotting down notes. The TV set fascinated him.

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<v Speaker 1>It's turned off right now, Melinda said. Portius's eyes widened impossibly.

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<v Speaker 1>You mean, he whispered in horror, that you're exercising Class

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<v Speaker 1>five privileges. This is terribly confusing. I get doors slammed

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<v Speaker 1>in my face when Class fours are supposed to have

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<v Speaker 1>a splendid Gregarian quotient. You do have atomic power, don't you? Oh? Sure,

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<v Speaker 1>said Melinda uncomfortably. This wasn't going to be much fun

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<v Speaker 1>space travel. The little face was intent and sharp. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>Melinda yawned, looking at the blank screen. They've got space patrol,

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<v Speaker 1>space cadet, Tales of Tomorrow. Excellent rocket ships are force fields?

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<v Speaker 1>Melinda blinked. Does your husband owned one? Melinda shook her

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<v Speaker 1>blonde head helplessly. What are your economic circumstances? Melinda took

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<v Speaker 1>a deep, rasping breath, said, listen, mister, is this a

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<v Speaker 1>demonstration or a quiz program? Oh, my excuse demonstration. Certainly

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<v Speaker 1>you will not mind the questions questions. There was an

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<v Speaker 1>ominous glint in Melinda's blue eyes. Your delightful primitive customs

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<v Speaker 1>art forms personal habits. Look, Melinda said, crimsoning, this is

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<v Speaker 1>a respectable neighborhood, and I'm not answering any Kinsey report. Understand.

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<v Speaker 1>The little man nodded, scribbling, personal habits are taboo. I

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<v Speaker 1>so regret the demonstration. He waved grandly at the tray,

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<v Speaker 1>anti grabbed sandals a portable solar converter, apologizing for this

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<v Speaker 1>miserable selection. But on capella, they told me. He followed

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<v Speaker 1>Melinda's entranced gaze, selected a tiny green vial. This is

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<v Speaker 1>merely a regenerative solution. You appear to have no cuts

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<v Speaker 1>or bruises. Oh, Melinda said nastily. Cure's wartz, cancer grows hair,

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<v Speaker 1>I suppose, Portius brightened. Of course, I see you can

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<v Speaker 1>scan amazing. He scribbled further with his stylus, glanced up,

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<v Speaker 1>blinked at the obvious scorn on Melinda's face. Here try it,

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<v Speaker 1>you try it, now watch him squirm. Portius hesitated, Would

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<v Speaker 1>you like me to grow an extra finger? Hair? Grow

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<v Speaker 1>some hair? Melinda tried not to smile. The little man

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<v Speaker 1>unstopped the vial poured a shimmering green drop on his

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<v Speaker 1>wrist frowning. Must concentrate, he said. Thorium base suspended solution

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<v Speaker 1>really jolts the endocrines complete control. See Melinda's jaw dropped.

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<v Speaker 1>She stared at the tiny tuft of hair which had

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<v Speaker 1>sprouted on that bare wrist. She was thinking abruptly, unhappily

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<v Speaker 1>about that shinan she had bought yesterday. They had let

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<v Speaker 1>her buy that for eight dollars, when with this stuff

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<v Speaker 1>she could have a natural one, How much, she inquired, cautiously,

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<v Speaker 1>Only half an hour of your time, said Portius. Melinda

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<v Speaker 1>grasped the vial firmly, settling down on the sofa with

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<v Speaker 1>one leg tucked carefully under her Okay, shoot, but nothing personal.

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<v Speaker 1>Portius was delighted. He asked a multitude of questions, most

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<v Speaker 1>of them pointless, some naive, and Melinda dug into her

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<v Speaker 1>infinitesimal fund of knowledge and gave the little man scribbled furiously,

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<v Speaker 1>clucking like a gravit. Hen you mean, he asked, in amazement,

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<v Speaker 1>that you live in these primitive huts of your own folition.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a GI housing project, Melinda said, ashamed, astonishing. He

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<v Speaker 1>wrote Feudal anachronisms and Atomic power side by side Class

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<v Speaker 1>fours periodically rough it in back to nature movements. Harry

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<v Speaker 1>Junior chose that moment to begin screaming for his lunch.

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<v Speaker 1>Portius sat, trembling. Is that a security alarm? My son?

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<v Speaker 1>Said Melinda despondently, and went into the nursery. Portius followed

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<v Speaker 1>and watched the undulating child with some trepidation. Newborn eighteen months,

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<v Speaker 1>said Melinda, stiffly changing diapers, he's cutting teeth. Portius shuddered,

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<v Speaker 1>What a pity. Obviously atavistic. Wouldn't the crash accept him? You?

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<v Speaker 1>You shouldn't have to keep him here. I keep after

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<v Speaker 1>Harry to get a maid, but he says we can't

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<v Speaker 1>afford one. Manifestly insecure, muttered the little man studying Harry Junior.

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<v Speaker 1>Definite paranoid tendencies. He was two weeks premature, volunteered Melinda.

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<v Speaker 1>He's real sensitive. I know just the thing, Portius said, happily.

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<v Speaker 1>Here he dipped into the glittering litter on the tray

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<v Speaker 1>and handed Harry Junior a translucent prism, a neural distorder.

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<v Speaker 1>We use it to train regressives on Rigel two. It

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<v Speaker 1>might be of assistance. Melinda eyed the thing doubtfully Harry

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<v Speaker 1>Junior was peering into the shifting crystal depths with a

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<v Speaker 1>somewhat strained expression. Speeds up the neural flow, explained the

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<v Speaker 1>little man proudly helps tap the unused eighty percent. The

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<v Speaker 1>pre symptomatic memory is unaffected due to automatic cerebral lapse.

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<v Speaker 1>In case of overload, I'm afraid it won't do much

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<v Speaker 1>more than cube his present IQ, and an intelligent idiot

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<v Speaker 1>is still an idiot. But how dare you? Melinda's eyes flashed.

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<v Speaker 1>My son is not an idiot. You get out of

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<v Speaker 1>here this minute and take your things with you. As

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<v Speaker 1>she reached for the prism, Harry Junior squalled. Melinda relented here,

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<v Speaker 1>she said, angrily, fumbling with her purse. How much are

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<v Speaker 1>they medium of exchange? Portius rubbed his bald skull. I

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<v Speaker 1>really shouldn't, but it'll make such a wonderful addentum to

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<v Speaker 1>the chapter on malignant primitives. What is your smallest denomination

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<v Speaker 1>is a dollar? Okay? Melinda was hopeful. Portius was pleased

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<v Speaker 1>with the picture of George Washington. He turned the bill

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<v Speaker 1>over and over in his fingers. At last, bowed low

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<v Speaker 1>and formally apologized for any taboo violations and left via

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<v Speaker 1>the front door. Crazy fraternities, muttered. Melinda, turning on the TV, said,

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<v Speaker 1>Kitty Kyle was dull that morning. At length, Melinda used

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<v Speaker 1>some of the liquid in the green vial on her eyelashes,

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<v Speaker 1>was quite pleased at the results, and hid the rest

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<v Speaker 1>in the medicine cabinet. Harry Junior was a model of

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<v Speaker 1>docility the rest of that day, while Melinda watched TV

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<v Speaker 1>and munched chocolates, did and redid her hair. Harry Junior

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<v Speaker 1>played quietly with the crystal prism. Toward late afternoon, he

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<v Speaker 1>crawled over to the bookcase, wrestled down the encyclopedia, and

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<v Speaker 1>pawed through it, gurgling with delight. He definitely, Melinda decided,

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<v Speaker 1>would make a fine lawyer some day, not a useless

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<v Speaker 1>putterer like Big Harry, who worked all hours overtime in

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<v Speaker 1>that damned lab. She scowled as Harry Junior, bored with

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<v Speaker 1>the encyclopedia, began reaching for one of Big Harry's tomes

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<v Speaker 1>on nuclear physics. One putterer in the family was enough,

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<v Speaker 1>But when she tried to take the book away from him,

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<v Speaker 1>Harry Junior howled so violently that she let well enough alone.

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<v Speaker 1>At six thirty, Big Harry called from the lab with

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<v Speaker 1>the usual despondent message that he would not be home

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<v Speaker 1>for supper, and said a few resigned things about cheerless

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<v Speaker 1>dinners eaten alone. Hinted darkly what lonesome wives sometimes did

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<v Speaker 1>for company, and Harry said he was very sorry, but

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<v Speaker 1>this might be it, and Melinda hung up on him

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<v Speaker 1>in a temper. Precisely fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang.

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<v Speaker 1>Melinda opened the front door and gaped. This little man

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<v Speaker 1>could have been Porteus's double except for the black, metallic

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<v Speaker 1>tunic and glacial gray eyes, Missus Melinda Adams. Even the

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<v Speaker 1>voice was frigid. Yes, why Major Nord Galactic security. The

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<v Speaker 1>little man bowed. You were visited early this morning by

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<v Speaker 1>one Portius. He spoke the name with a certain disgust.

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<v Speaker 1>He left a neural distorder here correct. Melinda's nod was tremulous.

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<v Speaker 1>Major Nord came quietly into the living room, shut the

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<v Speaker 1>door behind him. My apologies, madam, for the intrusion. Portius

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<v Speaker 1>mistook your world for a Class four culture instead of

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<v Speaker 1>a Class seven. Here he handed her the crumpled dollar bill.

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<v Speaker 1>You may check the serial number the distorter, please, Melinda

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<v Speaker 1>shrunk limply onto the sofa. I I don't understand, she

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<v Speaker 1>said painfully. Was he a thief? He was careless about

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<v Speaker 1>his spatial coordinates. Major Nord's teeth showed in the faintest

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<v Speaker 1>of smiles. He has been corrected. Where is it now? Look,

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<v Speaker 1>said Melinda with some asperity. That thing's kept Harry Junior

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<v Speaker 1>quiet all day. I bought it in good faith, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's not my fault. Say have you got a warrant? Madam?

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<v Speaker 1>Said the Major with dignity. I dislike violating local taboos,

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<v Speaker 1>but must I explain the impact of a neural distorter

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<v Speaker 1>on a backward or culture. What if your Neanderthal had

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<v Speaker 1>been given atomic blasters? Where would you have been today

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<v Speaker 1>swinging through trees? No doubt? What if your hitler had

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<v Speaker 1>force field? He exhaled, Where is your son? In the nursery?

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<v Speaker 1>Harry Junior was contentedly playing with his blocks. The prism

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<v Speaker 1>lay glinting in the corner. Major Nord picked it up carefully,

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<v Speaker 1>scrutinized Harry Junior. His voice was very soft, you said,

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<v Speaker 1>he was playing with it. Some vestigial maternal instinct prompted

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<v Speaker 1>Melinda to shake her head vigorously. The little man stared

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<v Speaker 1>hard at Harry Junior, who began whimpering trembling. Melinda scooped up,

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<v Speaker 1>Harry Junior, is that all you have to do? Run

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<v Speaker 1>around frightening women and children, take your old distorder and

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<v Speaker 1>get out, leave decent people alone. Major Nord frowned. If

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<v Speaker 1>only he could be sure, He peered stonily at Harry

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<v Speaker 1>Junior murmured definite ego mania. It doesn't seem to have

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<v Speaker 1>affected him, strange. Do you want me to scream? Melinda demanded.

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<v Speaker 1>Major Nord sighed. He bowed to Melinda, went out, closed

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<v Speaker 1>the door, touched a tiny stud on his tunic, and

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<v Speaker 1>vanished the manners of some people, Melinda said to Harry Junior.

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<v Speaker 1>She was relieved that the Major had not asked for

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<v Speaker 1>the green vial. Harry Junior also looked relieved, although for

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<v Speaker 1>quite a different reason. Big Harry arrived home a little

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<v Speaker 1>after eleven. There were small worry creases about his mouth

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<v Speaker 1>and forehead, and the leaden cast of defeat in his eyes.

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<v Speaker 1>He went into the bedroom and Melinda sleepily told him

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<v Speaker 1>about the little man working his way through college by

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<v Speaker 1>peddling silly goods, and about that rude cop named nord

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<v Speaker 1>and Harry said that was simply astonishing. And Melinda said, Harry,

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<v Speaker 1>you had a drink. I had two drinks. Harry told

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<v Speaker 1>her owlishly, you married a failure, dear, part of the

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<v Speaker 1>experimental model vaporized, whoosh, just like that on paper. It

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<v Speaker 1>looked so good. Melinda had heard it all before. She

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<v Speaker 1>asked him to see if Harry Junior was covered, and

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<v Speaker 1>Big Harry went unsteadily into the nursery, sat down by

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<v Speaker 1>his son's crib. Poor little guy, he mused, your old

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<v Speaker 1>man's a bum, A useless tinker. He thought he could

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<v Speaker 1>send man to the stars on a string of helium nuclei. Ah,

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<v Speaker 1>he was smart, thought of everything. Auxiliary jets to kick

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<v Speaker 1>off the negative charge, bigger mercury, vapor banks of a fine,

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<v Speaker 1>straight thrust of positive alpha particles. He hiccuped, put his

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<v Speaker 1>face in his hands. Didn't you ever stop to think

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<v Speaker 1>that a few air molecules could defocus the stream? Try

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<v Speaker 1>a vacuum, stupid Big Harry stood up. Did you say something, son, girfal,

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<v Speaker 1>said Harry Junior. Big Harry reeled into the living room

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<v Speaker 1>like a sonomalist. He got mansel and paper began jotting

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<v Speaker 1>frantic formula. Presently, he called a cab and raced back

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<v Speaker 1>to the laboratory. Melinda was dreaming about little bald men

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<v Speaker 1>with diamond studded drays. They were chasing her. They kept

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<v Speaker 1>pelting her with rubies and emeralds. All they wanted was

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<v Speaker 1>to ask questions, but she kept running. Harry Junior clasped

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<v Speaker 1>tightly in her arms. Now they were ringing alarm bells.

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<v Speaker 1>The bells kept ringing, and she groaned. She sat up

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<v Speaker 1>in bed and seized the telephone. Darling. Big Harry's voice shook,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got it. More auxiliary shielding plus a vacuum. We'll

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<v Speaker 1>be rich. That's just fine, said Melinda crossly. You woke

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<v Speaker 1>the baby. Harry Junior was sobbing bitterly into his pillow.

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<v Speaker 1>He was sick with disappointment. Even the most favorable extrapolation

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<v Speaker 1>showed it would take him nineteen years to become master

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<v Speaker 1>of the world. An eternity nineteen years and of teething

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<v Speaker 1>ring by James Causey