Speaker 1: Somebody comes up to her and goes, we can get
you to a million followers. She's like, that is amazing.
Here's the thing though, there will be comments in Ukrainian
underneath your posts.
Speaker 2: She's like, that's amazing. I've always wanted to be international.
That's good for me.
Speaker 1: Yea cool.
Speaker 2: Also, I'm sorry to one more thing when Emily, when when.
Speaker 1: Hilo and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of
Bad Television. I'm Dylan. That is pat great to be here.
I have to think about that. Ruby's here as well.
Speaker 2: Hi, Jill, Hi pat how are you?
Speaker 1: I'm good. People are stealing from the live, people are gambling.
Ruby is having an absolutely amazing afternoon, and so are we.
I think that the only thing that could even put
a bit of a blemish on our day is just
the quality of the television show that we're here to
talk about. And I don't mean to be negative, but
I really do root for this show to be better
than it is right now, and right now I don't
think it's very good. I give it zero tits, but
we'll get into it. Go to patreon dot com if
you want to hear us break down an incredible franchise
of this franchise, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. We
had to do a free one for you this week,
but yeah, our recaps of that are at patreon dot com.
Also traders is there as well Patreon dot com. Slash
another podcast network. Can guys five stars kind words get
in their reviews and comment everywhere? Patrick, what did you
think about this episode? And do you agree with me
that this show is not file firing on any cylinder?
Speaker 3: It's not good. I kind of miss sketchy Katie, but
I'm really bothered by things that apparently don't bother other people.
I do not like Emily on this show.
Speaker 1: Me neither.
Speaker 3: A trucker hat that says wrong hole, but I still
like it.
Speaker 1: Go Roos, Well, well Pat doesn't. Pat doesn't like butt stuff.
No for him. If you want to get into it,
that's fine.
Speaker 3: I mean meetball being completely high and having to do
the heavy lifting of keeping the drama going.
Speaker 1: Ge't do it, she shrimmed out.
Speaker 3: She shroomed out by the way that strain of mushrooms
should be called confrontational. You know how they name like gummies.
They're like I think warm, like warm fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we can work on that. It's kind of kind
of goes against what you know. Shrooms people are like,
you know, it's going to open stuff up and the
colors and stuff. And then you have one strain that's
just called confrontational.
Speaker 3: It's like what I honestly think I dropped a hit
of acid in my junior year of high school. That
was was called like confrontational or bad trip or something.
Oh yeah, yeah, I'm walking out of the house and
I looked down it was like a hillside and and
rather than grasp being there, it was a bunch of
daggers that I had to navigate through. Yeah, it's definitely
was a bad trip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, bad trip, bad trip, Bonnie having a bad trip.
How many teds do you give this episode?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 3: This is rough. I was by the way, were you
guys shocked when they said, uh, next week is last
the last episode of the season.
Speaker 1: No, I feel like we've been watching this for a
year and a half. Hmm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know where they're gonna go.
Speaker 2: No. I The thing that I was going to say
is I actually worse than Dylan. I'm completely indifferent. I
didn't even fucking care.
Speaker 3: Yeah wow, And that's actually if you're a producer of television.
When someone says I'm a different I don't care. That's
the worst answer, because some people hate watch things, and
then some people love shows. But if you're right there
in the middle, like I don't know when it's on,
I look at it. That's all the Kardashians have made
all their money in the middle of the road.
Speaker 1: Jake Paul, people hate him. Yeah, people aren't like we
take it or leave it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta have an opinion. Horrible episode. I'm glad
that HD is a total stoner, though, you.
Speaker 1: Can say so much more fun when she's stone.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to give it to Ruby. What's
our actual rating system? He thinks it's tits, isn't it?
Speaker 1: It is, Oh, all right.
Speaker 3: Sixty tits.
Speaker 1: You have polluted it into some kind of thirty c
seas of silicone. At times you've also said oranges, which
is very cute. But it's tits.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: It's tits.
Speaker 1: And rubs. You are tits.
Speaker 2: Bad.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: Like, what I did appreciate about Gene and being high
was when that baby started crying and how there was like,
well it's a baby, and she was like, I don't care.
Man up that made me actually laugh my loud right,
everything else was a drag. But I I believe that
this maybe just from a rating standpoint. The coffin Nope,
the nail in the coffin for camera, I don't It's
it's not even that it's too dark anymore. It's just like, again,
I don't care. You guys are talking like, what the
fuck happened to Gretchen this week? I don't understate and
argue on like was it a pill issue?
Speaker 1: There was? I I and so tits.
Speaker 2: Genuine from the bottom of my heart thirteen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh hey, you know I have this particular Her
name's Minnie. I don't think that's her real name. She
sent me an article about Emily Simpson and Shane this week.
It says, foreclosing on their three point nine million dollar
Laguna Miguel mansion while husband Shane's company files bankruptcy amid
severe financial crisis. Yeshka, have you heard that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I have not. You never know what these these people?
Speaker 1: That's uh, well, we'll mention this.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, yeah, they have one less child
they need to feed.
Speaker 1: She's talking about Are you talking about shame? What are
you talking about?
Speaker 3: Luke you don't have to feed Okay, No, no, they
still do.
Speaker 1: He's he's going to die if they do.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1: What are you talking about. We don't have to feed
the child.
Speaker 2: John, Okay, uh, this is a Facebook post from Real
Housewives of Orange County fan news. So we're gonna throw
just a few allegedlies behind it and then move on
because truly we don't know everyone's cryming, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're going to strap a football helmet on Papa
Lean Cuisine right on the lower back, and we're going
to throw something away.
Speaker 3: Although you know, Dylan and I were told about these
these liking certain posts by Gretchen what weeks ago?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Oh were we yeah? Oh yeah?
Speaker 3: And I was from a Facebook group.
Speaker 1: That's another thing, Like, oh my god, fucking Joel Olstein's
wife doesn't like trans people. You color me confused?
Speaker 4: What did like?
Speaker 1: It had to be trans ship.
Speaker 3: It had to be had to be because in the
next episode, Heather to bro flips out, flips out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Heather want of Tamra. She feels about it.
Speaker 2: Wait wait just really quickly, just really quickly, really.
Speaker 4: Feel yeah, Heather trying to get her eyes too well
when she was like, Terry is there, and Terry was like.
Speaker 3: Can you believe it?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go me.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, oh no, they didn't talk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he's a great dad. With Tamra, I don't
think that she's done. You know, Jax threw Brittany around
and threw a table at her and domestically abused her
and as a drug addict and stuff, So I don't
want to equate her character to Jackson's, though it's not
far off. Just them having their roles on the shows
is very similar to me, Like, it's not even that
it's it's exactly what Ruby said. It's not that it's
too dark, which it is all the fucking time. It's
just gotten to a point where we've flooded the zone
with so much horrible, awful behavior that we're just like,
the needle doesn't even move. Can we just get her off?
You know?
Speaker 3: You know, I think Bravo has fears and hesitations now
for doing a big overhauling casting because they saw what
happened with New York. But certainly, let's at least three
of the women cannot return.
Speaker 1: Oh season, Yeah, for sure, we got to.
Speaker 2: Mix it up and then bring Katie back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we need to schedule. Yeah, Katie's a little I
would be fine saying goodbye to Katie. But we begin
the show with somebody who I think is on the
chopping block. I think we're all desensitized to the zaniness
of one ship.
Speaker 3: Crumpet.
Speaker 1: I took too big of a bite. She begins the
morning with I think a milkshake, glass of red wine
and is talking to her daughter about how she's still high,
and then she proceeds to spill on herself.
Speaker 3: I love her daughter's advice, though, what's that She's like, Mom,
start like yet, Hive, you know it's fine, he'll get over.
Didn't she offer that advice?
Speaker 1: I don't remember.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she literally said you should go get yourself some
weed to feel better.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, hey, personal story because I don't think this
episode is gonna be long.
Speaker 1: Sophomore year, we haven't talked about three seconds of it
and we've been going for nine minutes.
Speaker 3: Well that's how we do it. College sophomore year. My room,
I it was a he was a drug. He liked
weed and uh, I guess the stems?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, yeah, you sorry?
Speaker 2: Pat? Really fast? Were you about to say he was
a drug addict. You collected yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So he always smoked weed and he'd leave all
the stems on our table all the time. So I
collected him because I thought they'd be useful. And later
on I went with this guy, uh, and we put
it in banana bread and just ground up the stems
and he cooked the bread and it came out green.
And you know, stems aren't you know there? You throw
them away. They're not supposed to get you high. Yeah,
I thought it was funny. Anyway, I'm starving, I have
to head out to a coating exam. I take half
the loaf and I just throw it in my pie
hole and eat it. About thirty minutes into the exam,
i am I'm levitating off my chair in that testing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it's so funny because I when I
was in school in New Orleans. Quick personal story, the
kid that lived across from us was a hey Arnold character.
I mean, he was just like stoop kid. He had
a bowl cut. He was perfectly nice, but he was
he was weird and Uh, one day he brought in
a bottle of vodka that was just filled with stems.
We were like, what are you doing with that and
he's like, I don't know, I think it might might
give me high. We were just like, all right, well
you want to try some No, I'm okay. And it
was so funny because there was one night where we
had a buddy who was just a perennial drunk and
all time drunk named Jack and he was going to
a shotgun of four loco. Four locos were very big
at the time. Stu came in. It's like, what are
you guys doing? I was shot in four shooting four locos?
And Jack challenges him. Stu walks in shotguns of four
loco within I don't even I think he breathed it
in the stoop shotgun shot.
Speaker 3: Well, that's where you take a can. You caught a
hole in it, and then you bought the can and
like a guys or it, it blows it into your mouth.
Speaker 1: A guyser stew sucks down a four loco like a
breath of oxygen. The drunk Jack is over there struggling
and he's like, oh, that was really good, and then
he just left the room. I was like, what is
this kid? Who is this child? I apologize for that.
Speaker 3: I want to know hold on so he put weed
stems in a liquid to extract the thc into.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he put it into a bottle of vodka, and
he thought that it could tournament. It was like a
crossfade solution.
Speaker 3: Wow, he was way ahead of his time.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, the kid was a live wire. He
was really out there.
Speaker 3: Anyway. I felt like Shannon Badoor when I was in sophomore.
I was that high.
Speaker 1: We had downstairs and we get ready for the tulip farm.
The tulip farm being I think the you know, our
first cautionary tale of speculative economics. You know how like
bankrupted the entire economy back then. Really yeah, everybody is
like big into tulips were like the first bitcoin or
some some shit.
Speaker 3: Is that right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Wow, well I can tell you they did inflate the
marketplace for weddings. Hey, I think I'd love to have
some beautiful flowers for my wedding. They're like, it's gonna
be eighteen thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Rubes is really good with flowers. Roobs is
a tulip. One of the more overpriced flowers out there.
Speaker 2: It is. But also they're difficult to ship, so I
think that's partially why they're expensive. But you want to
know a fun fact about them, they're actually native to Afghanistan.
Speaker 3: Wow, that in poppy seeds?
Speaker 1: Yeh?
Speaker 2: Is that cool?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That is cool.
Speaker 2: I think it's like their flat, like they're national or
it's like on a flya or something. I don't know.
It's special to them because it grows there and I
think I can't. Yeah, and then I think we like
take their seeds and like gmo them and shit. I
think they're like very.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, it would stand to raise the Dutch. I
mean they had a real uh time on stage there
for a minute where they were just sailing all over
the place just taking shit from people. Yeah yeah, yeah,
fucking Dutch. Get out of here with your clogs and
your imperialism. You disgust me.
Speaker 3: And your farts.
Speaker 1: It's your farts because of the mayonnaise.
Speaker 3: Also, going Dutch on a date you're cheap.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to split the bill going Dutch. There's
nothing good Dutch, yeap, nothing good? Hey?
Speaker 3: Can I say something about shannabidor when she walks down
to that lobby and she's got her foot like her
fucking foot is rotting off her and it's dying and
it's all sad and stuff. Part of why we love
the Real Housewives and it doesn't have to be everybody.
But we love your looks, how you like your when
you're going out to party. We like to see what
dresses you're wearing and how you did your hair and
your glam. Shannon Badoor forgive me, but has completely given.
Speaker 1: Up on that completely.
Speaker 3: She said, fuck it, I don't care.
Speaker 1: That's why Salt Lake. Salt Lake is such a perfect
ven diagram of like the women all dress up, but
they're all ludicrous. I mean, Meredith Marx looked like coronavirus.
She said. Barlow just shows up in pajamas that are
three thousand dollars and it's nuts. Miami is like, okay,
we get it. Larsa and the one who's sucking the
putt of that eighty year old man. But but yes,
Shannon Badoor is a walking goddamn wheelbarrel of zaye. She
has like it's enough.
Speaker 3: I hate to say this, but she's like one bad
spill in a bathtub. Oh the hip goes out. Oh Yeahsis,
go ahead, Ruby, what are you gonna say?
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, even Gretchen she comes down and
she looks like a fucking like, she looks like a
spoof of someone going to church. Yeah, and at least
you can say that Shannon just looks like if I
saw that in a lobby, I would be like, oh no, yeah,
that poor that poor woman right.
Speaker 1: Now, right, they've let a homeless person inside. The thing
about our housewives and we don't want our housewives to
be impervious and infallible, right, but we do want our
housewives to be able to survive a little spill to
the hip. And that's not something that I think Shannon
Badoor is one hundred percent guaranteed to see the end of.
You know, if Lisa Barlow falls on her hip, she'll recover.
You know, she'll be back on the deree. They they ski,
they ski, you know, she'll be back on a reformer.
Shannon Badoor could die not Okay.
Speaker 2: The moment in this episode when the producer felt comfortable
enough to ask Shannon if she remembered what a cock
felt like, I was like, Wow, We've got to get her.
TV have to get that was.
Speaker 1: A mean gay. That was not that was my next life.
Speaker 3: I so want to come back as a gay because
I'll get to say whatever. I really yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know I feel so censored.
Speaker 1: Credit to Heather and Meatball, and imagine that. Listen to him.
He feels censored. And I know that, you know, there
are fans of this podcast or people are hearing it
for the first time, going, well, he couldn't possibly think that,
and I want you to know that he is. And
that's a very real feeling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he feels he feels censored, Okay, and also it's
because he is censoring himself. All right.
Speaker 1: He is a clipped parakeet. I swear to god, let
me fly. Can't go anywhere.
Speaker 2: Open the cage.
Speaker 1: To Heather and me Ball. They actually do take mushrooms
a lot of Heather says, I talked to AI. It
said take three to four grams. Do not do that.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm Heather. I don't know. Like again, I don't
know anything about mushrooms. I don't know what Heather. Gina
is saying. Heather is the girl that your mom warns
you about spot fucking on.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, so true, so true. So we
head over to the Tulips badour shows everybody your spanks,
and then we get to this ah man I don't
know how to describe it other than a bunch of
like choogy people who have never done psychedelics doing doing
first standiting a psychedelic segment. It was really really corny
and there was no camp, just everything misfired. I can't
imagine was pretty fun, though Meatball was fun. Hell Shannon
Bador was fun climbing up on that that plaster horse
and riding it and grabbing its cock and all that stuff.
But I was thinking about what would it be like
to be on a psychotropic a drug around camera judge
it would be you would see a black hole in
her heart or her face.
Speaker 3: So second bad trip of my life. I decided we
were gonna throw a party at Keg party. This is
where you'd buy a full barrel of beer. It would
cost you fifty bucks. You'd have to put it down
a keg on a tap. Yeah, and you'd charge every
high school or college kid that came in five bucks.
I was in charge of that. That day, I decided
to take mushrooms. I had a white T shirt. There's
a picture of it says fuck you pay me. Good
Fellas was very big then. I remember that and at
some point the high starts getting really questionable. This one
kid comes in who's now dead because he a bad
drug deal gone wrong, and they shot him in the head,
rolled him up into a carpet, and lit the carpet
on fire. Three teenagers serving life for that anyway. His
name was Wes. I see him, and Wes is trying
to break into my friend's car to steal his speakers
out of his car. And I see this as I'm tripping,
and I suddenly have like the world is dark, it's evil,
and I must get out. I left my own party
and went back to my shitty apartment where my mom
and Jimmy Dell lived, and I hid under my covers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I left the party from fuck you pay me
to hiding under the covers. That's what a psychedelic experience
can do to you. But you know, a lot of
people see auras they see energies, and I saw energy.
You can be affected by that. If I think Tamra
Judge is truly a there are degrees of darkness, right,
I think that Dick Cheney is darker than Tamra Judge.
But Tamra Judge is an only dark human being. It
would be scary.
Speaker 2: I want to see like so like it's Heather and
Gina are still in trooms and they start to see
Auras and Tamra's face is black and they just every
time they look at her they scream.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is Halloween. Emily starts being a
contrived producer's best friend again Van Goali.
Speaker 3: She's a little puppet's.
Speaker 1: She's been doing it for a couple of episodes and
it's really really taxing. She says, can you believe that
Gretchen was just sitting there last night and not fighting back?
Speaker 3: Or so Jill just to sorry, just to where we are.
Are we at lunch with the sandwiches.
Speaker 1: We're going to lunch with the sandwiches. Yes, that's bad hosting.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, that's okay. By the way, great Stoner Food.
Just throw some sandwiches down there, right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So HD has to explain to Meatball that flowers die
and that they don't go to heaven, and I think
Meatball took it really hard. I remember when I was
a kid, I learned I was mortal. I was six.
My mom was doing laundry. I said, mom, am I
going to die?
Speaker 2: And she said, yep, that's one way to do it, right,
don't lie, just just flat out get them used to
it young, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was like, wow, that's a bummer thinking about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry, I got lost a little bit. We're not
yet at the sandwiches. We're driving over there, and this
is when Emily starts to do this whole fucking Shannon
is in charge of this group and Gretchen is the
historian of that group, remember that, and starts to like
drive this wedge between her meatball and this woman who
a couple of weeks ago was saying, I can't trust you.
If you can't trust her, what are you doing with
this pod narrative that you're again it makes no sense off,
it's off.
Speaker 2: When I think it was her that she was like
at the tool of Fields, she was like, it's the
I hate Tamra of fan club. I was like, is
it when they were trying to climb the cock horse?
I was like, I don't think that's what they feel like?
Speaker 1: No, Yeah, and you just you're if you're a person,
you're in that fan club. Eddie hates her. So we
then get to lunch after Gina kind of bites on
this stuff going. Shannon always pushes me into the background.
But we get to lunch and Heather is actually kind
of fun when she's stone. She had a couple of
moments throughout this meal that we're funny, but.
Speaker 3: We kind to know she knows how to blow some
steam off because I was wondering, you can't live your
life with the stick up your ass like you walk
around like. It's nice to know that her and Terry
probably take some shrooms or some gummies at night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, toss into one another.
Speaker 3: I don't think they've had sex in a decade.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we get to talking about Jen's relationship with
Alexis Bellino aka Jesus Jokes. The gaslighting of poor Shannon
storms Badore here was a little bit heartbreaking. She's too
zany to whether this full frontal attack from the ladies.
And I know the rules of engagement are a little
bit different with the housewives, but just a normal life.
If there's a person that has made it their life's
goal to you reputationally ruined, financially ruined, familially ruined, I
don't want to be friends with people who are friends
with that person. And I'm one hundred percent behind Shannon
Stormspadore when she says, that's my boundary. What is the
problem with that?
Speaker 2: I agree? And the reason it's not as though it's
just because Johnny Jay's It's not as though she's just
like I hate him and he's now he's getting married
to a new woman. Alexis Belino has actively participated in
perpetuating a story that she would finally, she is a
fucking bad drunk. You know, it's a legal trouble like loss.
It's it's there has been such an attack on her
from such a personal level, Like you said, she does
still have two kids that have to get through college,
and she's like going after her money. It's yeah, dark,
these people are gross and you shouldn't go to their wedding.
And if you do, I don't know. It's kind of
like the Bezos wedding, Like there's a reason why Leo
wore that hat. He did not want to be seen there.
Speaker 3: Well, I will say this, if there was one cast
member that you would say give a little grace for
her being kind of naive, it would be Jen. Because
Jen is just a nice person. She is a welcomed
person on this show.
Speaker 2: Do you also mean to say that she's very.
Speaker 1: Dum dumb, very very dumb. Yeah, but very dumb or cunning.
Speaker 3: If you'll notice she's not all about Ryan this year
and not even even kind of hinting at there's not
gonna be a wedding. And it's been a year since
they filmed you know, her Bridle lunchin lunch, and she's
not married to Ryan.
Speaker 2: No, track, she's still I believe with him. It's it's cunning.
Is it is a generous word. That's what I'll say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a wrong word. But she's not quite Brittany,
but she is Jen as is evidence when we're talking
about her, like the.
Speaker 2: God.
Speaker 1: I don't know if she deals with a massive amount
of stress about this stuff. I couldn't live like this.
But I think we get to it later when they're
like a report just came out, you know, like jundred
and fifty thousand dollars at least, and she's like.
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, that was amazing, because that was after tam
Rat and Gretchen. I wouldn't say they'd agreed to bury
the hatchet, but had come to like, we've been doing
horrible things to one another, Yeah, and maybe let's let's
couch this.
Speaker 1: Nothing was agreed.
Speaker 3: Cam rat gets off the boat. Yeah, it picks her
phone up like it just turned on, and it's like,
let's fucking start some shit. Yeah, yeah, that's the man.
Speaker 2: But again the Jen's willingness to just be like, uh
huh no, that's the same one.
Speaker 3: Yep, yep, yeah, yeah, all right, so we can we
get there, So we lead fucking lunch van Ryde. The
girls uh offer Jen a little business advice. They tell
her get Ryan in that bad hair dye offer Instagram.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean it's kind of nuts to think.
I mean, you know, exhibit Z with you know, maybe
not stupidity, but a little bit of heads in the
head in the cloud. You've been on this show for
three years. How have you not turned one of the
most important revenue streams in your life? One of the
reasons why people do this show on Why is Ryan
dancing his little, fat, fucking ass all over your Instagram?
Speaker 3: It's disgusting and it's like porn, Like I need more
shots of the guy's face while he's having sex with
the girl. It's like, get him out of it, get
him out of here. I don't want to look at
his face.
Speaker 2: Well wait, that's exactly what it's like. But also the
other thing is too is I can guarantee you that
if she were to ever, like when she's brought this
up before that she's been like, oh honey, like a
bikini company dm'd me and they were like, hey, we'll
pay you fifteen grand if you post about this. And
he's like, that's fucking disgusting. You're not doing that, that's trash.
And she's like, yeah, you're you're right, You're right.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: I looked at her. What happened to that money? He's like, well,
we went to Vegas.
Speaker 3: I I reinvested it. Sure, hey, yeah, everyone goes to
Vegas to reinvest. Okay, So this was fascinating. Gretcher's giving
Jen which we don't have a cute name for. We'll
have to find that one. Jenners Jenners give her, give
her some advice on social media stuff. Because I looked
up Gretcher's I was not following her prior to this.
She has one million followers. Congratulations. Ruby seems very upset
right now. What's going on?
Speaker 2: I okay, it was very hard for me, and again
I have no followers, so I'm not monetizing anything. It
was hard for me. To hear. It was just a
hard one for me to hear. So so you talking
about it in such detail is triggering me. That's why
my head is in my hands.
Speaker 1: Also, Gretcher's instagram is it has a Blair Witch kind
of quality to it, where you go, oh, what is
happening here? Something seems really scary.
Speaker 3: I think allegedly, you know, because I was in the
social media space for a while, you know. I she's
like buying a lot of followers because she has a
million followers, very little engagement. Average post gets three thousand.
I looked at like twenty posts has one hundred comments.
That's not a person that has a million followers.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, no, it's not. But she is like almost
a boomer. So somebody comes up to her and goes,
we can get you to a million followers. She's like,
that is amazing. Here's the thing though, there will be
comments in Ukrainian underneath your posts.
Speaker 2: She's like, that's amazing. I've always wanted to be international.
That's good for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Cool.
Speaker 2: Also, I'm sorry to one more thing when Emily when
when ahead, it wasn't because it's not a reference to sideyall.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, it's not.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, get.
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Speaker 3: I need to contact them today after this show.
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Speaker 2: No?
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not against your budget. You know, I feel I feel
bad that I cut Ruby off, but I do feel
like I'm trying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead, Ruby. What are you gonna say?
It's really offensive?
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, thank you. When we were at lunch and
Emily lost her mind, yeah, and became a fucking o
her and was like, can you And that's why I
didn't want to say the word ogre, because now that's
I didn't do that explicitly. I didn't do that.
Speaker 1: Pat a kind of remand.
Speaker 2: Sometimes there's one look that they do. I don't know
if her glad people hate her this season, But there
are a lot of looks, honestly for a lot of
them that I'm like, who.
Speaker 1: The answer is no one. Can I tell you something.
I don't think we're ever mean to nice people. I
don't think we could ever do that. People that we
think are nice on these shows, we're their biggest fans.
Speaker 2: I think Jenn's nice and I just called her dumb.
That's very you know, so Ruby.
Speaker 3: I can't tell because sometimes I watch this show on
the TV in our bedroom. The TV in our bedroom
was we stole the TV out of a rental unit
for the guy that won Best Producer of the Year
last year. And I can see like zits on people's noses,
Like during newscasts when I look at the glam looks
for tam Rat and Emily, I see their like spray
tand glistling like it's dried up.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know, they're like it's irrigescent. That that is desert.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's very cracky. I don't want to say that.
Emily reminds me of Shrek because of the size.
Speaker 3: Because he's orange.
Speaker 1: There's there's a hue and I'm coming at it from
like we know that Shrek is misunderstood. Shrek is a
good guy. But if I'm a villager, I'm not a
fan of Shrek. Sounds like a busy body to me,
and somebody that should be lands with a pitchfork. But
but that's ignorant. Okay, So anyways, Gretchen is a serial entrepreneur.
She's got to stand on her own two feet and
not depending on a man. That's because she's never had
to depend on him. He's never done anything. We should
get to hot.
Speaker 3: Times in the canal now, Dylan, I Ruby, what are
your thoughts on this? This did not seem like an
activity that I'd like to do.
Speaker 1: This seems like something pretty fun to me.
Speaker 3: It seems like something that college kids would do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you get fucking wasted. Did the liability of letting
Shannabadoor on the fucking with drink saying with drinks and
college kids? It's like crazy. We begin, though, with a
couple of really cool hats from Emily Throat goat, I
love cock, I love cock moisture than an oyster is
the one that's told out to Shannabadoor and the women
comment on just how dry Shannabadoor is she's actually kind
of seized up like a mummy down there. Moisture. I
actually would say that, given the saran wrap of spanks
that she is in at all times, I would say
there's a tremendous amount of moisture down there. I mean,
when you lock something up like that, it's gonna start.
Condensation will happen. We didn't need to go, well, we
don't need to talk about it. It's not important.
Speaker 3: So water can show up anywhere.
Speaker 1: Okay, it didn't even rain.
Speaker 3: I walk out in my backyard, our leaves on our
fighters have drip some water on it.
Speaker 1: Man, That's what I'm saying. All right, So Emily once
again does this producer ship where she goes. This is
my last ditch effort to bring these to to Cather.
That is why we're gonna go. It's like Emily, Emily
Shannon drives the boat into another boat. Is she always drunk?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, I mean I.
Speaker 1: Don't think she's always drunk. I think she's just saying
we'll track it up to saying this, but she does
well really quick question.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you think she's drunk here?
Speaker 1: Though I don't know. I'm not sure she's drunk.
Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, okay, she's drunk.
Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, Oh it was.
Speaker 3: Takes one to no one. I think a lot of
people out there don't know I'm drunk. I'm right, you know.
Speaker 1: It reminds me a little bit her energy. I saw
this video of a kid who college kid had driven
his car into a telephone pole, no excuse me, a
street light and it fell on top of his car,
and the cop goes up to the door. He goes,
what are you doing. The kid's like, oh, fucking we
I'm gonna have to tell this thing. He goes, yeah,
you're gonna have to tell it. He gues, I don't know.
I can't just drive it home. There's a street light
on it. All right, Hey, have you taken anything tonight? Yeah?
I think it was Danny, but my house like three
blocks away. No, I actually turn around. So allry buddy,
such a bummer. Yeah, such a buzz party pooper. All right.
So Shannon and Jen have a chat about Alexis Spolina.
But the real meat here is between Tamra and Gretchen,
who continue to feud.
Speaker 3: This is the ugliest part of the show.
Speaker 1: I don't they're never going to be friends, but also
like their conversation puts me, at least when I'm watching,
into a malaise. They're they're not they're not discussing anything. Actually,
there's no there's no aiming at all. They're just kind
of vaguely talking about their problems with each other. But Rubes,
go ahead.
Speaker 2: I just yawned, Well you were, and I'm not kidding.
You were describing this and I yawned. And that's how
I feel. I don't really know what they're saying at
this point. I think if one of them called the
other one like a dumb fat cunt, I was like, oh,
that's like. But other than that, I don't.
Speaker 3: Want to be fair her irrelevant.
Speaker 2: Well so that's not the same as a dumb fat cunt,
you know, and it's different.
Speaker 1: But my question and I felt like Jesse Pinkman here,
just like she can't keep getting away with it. And
we'll see next week that Tamra wins the day and
Gretchen is cast to the cornfield. Wow, why are people
apologizing to Tamra for anything? Why would you ever if
you ran her over with a golf cart because she
was being a bitch to you? Do not apologize, just
go you know, we made some mistakes.
Speaker 3: Well, hold on, so Gretchen, who I thought was going
to be I thought I was going to enjoy this
more having an old cast member return, just like I
thought Jesus Jugs was going to work out. It turns
out this is totally a bad idea because they bring
energy from ten years earlier into now, and it's pointless
because Tamrat hasn't done anything to Gretchen in twelve years.
She called her out about having sex with a dude
at Bass, like when she was engaged to some guy
who was dying of cancer. And then now Gretchen shows
up on the show marks are at that cowboy thing.
Slade gets on a FaceTime call and says that she
was having sex with a boy band guy. Yeah, and
throw just like creating a bunch of problems, and yes,
I agree, Like, I don't know what I agree with him.
Speaker 1: Well, it's just too it's all too messy to really done.
Speaker 2: So it's it's hard to bring people back. But I
just I do. I do chuckle, And I know she's
terrible and offl and blah blah blah, I do chuckle.
If they just grenadd Kelly Dodd back into these people's lives.
Speaker 1: It would be I'll tell you what, Kelly, Kelly Dodd
will save this show.
Speaker 3: You know, she one hundred percent. Well, here's the thing.
Then we're bringing someone back from the past. We're repeating
bad habits. Guys.
Speaker 1: I know, but Kelly, I don't.
Speaker 2: She's not. I think that. Also, Kelly Dodd has had
enough going on in her personal life, like she's been
fucking up for the last eight years since she's been
off the show, everywhere on the internet, on her own
social media. She's insane. She doesn't have to bring up
shit from ten years ago. There's enough recent. You know.
She's a grenade of a human being.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yep, I want to see the first episode what
have I been up to and just hear about it.
I mean, she called shanea dork.
Speaker 2: Dor's best line one of the best things that she
ever fucking said.
Speaker 1: It's one of the best moments in the last like
ten years of Real Housewives of Orange County. She goes
up to Shane and goes dork and then and then
she goes, you're married, damned, Kelly, that's my husband.
Speaker 3: We all agreed with her, though.
Speaker 1: Yep, all right, So I love that the onus, is
on Gretchen to change and things are going well, and
that's when Gretchen says, I hope you can change a
little bit as well, and Tamra just looks at her
like the demon that she is, and that's you know,
you go, what is the point of this? Tamra is
just there's no there is nothing you can do to
make Tamar not I've run out of words.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you, Ruby, tell me if you agree
with this. Tam Rat's history on the show, especially the
early years, was at some point because she was doing
things that other people weren't willing to do. She would
grind you up and shit you out, and you were
off the show. You were in her rear view mirror,
and then she'd move on to the next victim. And
now she's in this position where they're bringing back people
and she's still dealing with this drama but doesn't do
it as well as she used to. Or maybe it's
the same act, but it's getting old.
Speaker 2: I think part of it is because for most of
that she always had Vicky as a sidekick, so there
was kind of a dynamic duo part of it. I
think by herself, she's just like a bitter kind of
old There is totally there's no fun there. And again
I don't Vicky was a pretty dark human being too,
but I think maybe that had something to do with it,
because I agree it just feels very tired, tired.
Speaker 1: Well, we found out about the back payment in the studio,
but we'll get to Gretchen, who's overwhelmed by all the
years of pain. Jen tells the women that Gretchen's gonna
be late. She's upset, and that's when the witch in
Tamor really explodes out of her skin. It's like it
turning into a spider. You know, what was the point
of that conversation? She told you she was upset, and
You're like, what the fuck is her? It's like, I'm bugged.
I bugged. So we go to a mall, a food court,
and we joke. We joke about dicks every time we
see a sausage stand. Jen and Shannabadoor do a dance
in the middle of the mall and torture everyone. Then
they sit down at a bar and torture this bartender.
This guy had no idea what was going on. And
this is where Shannon Badoor may be. She may be drunk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just here. Wow, sixty year old women are dudes
that were drunk when they were twenty five. That's what
sixty year old women are.
Speaker 2: Yep, I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I do wine country a lot. They're all up there.
There's sixty one lady at a five star fucking like
a Michelin star restaurant was sixty two, and she's fucking
passed out, laid out on a bench, and I'm like,
what the fuck is going on?
Speaker 1: That may be your best take of all time, and
you've had a lot of really good takes. You you
are one hundred percent right. These elder bitches are out
here just blacking out.
Speaker 2: I mean, but but they do ship like this where
they're like, we love passion, okay, fucking stupid. Yeah, it's like, yeah,
that's exactly what they are.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we are we dark? Tonight? Are we too dark?
Speaker 3: Ask Kaylen? No, he didn't make eye contact.
Speaker 1: Kaylen is not a reliable source of how we're doing.
Speaker 2: I have something to say, maybe they shouldn't be so dark?
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, all right. So Tamra is a bug still.
She thinks that Slade put Gretchen up to this, and
Slade's a bitch, but he said the exact opposite, actually,
So try and work things out, Try and work things
out and don't let it get to you. But we
get back to the table and Tamra is just being
a dark, miserable cunt again. She is. This is where
I was like, all right, I've had enough. It's Jax Taylor,
it's Jason Kouchi. It's just you were serviceable and we
appreciate it. There's no more war here for you.
Speaker 3: No, no, it's time to hang up the sword. Yeah,
put it away. Here is the one of the more
so gretcher's shows up and explains that she hates the
drama and they're what they've done to each other. Tamrack
gets frustrated and tells HD to back the fuck off
because HD was trying to mediate. And then we cut
to the next morning, and this was the fascinating part.
Tam Rat clearly knew that she had these posts, screenshots
of likes on posts for which we do not know
what they are yet we do, but we do all season.
It was always going to get to hear. In fact,
what did she say to meet Ball. She's like, no, no, no, no,
we're not going to talk about the post tonight. There's
a long flight tomorrow. Did you hear that we're all
getting on a plane?
Speaker 2: You also Pat when she was in the van, everyone
was like, I don't know what gression is like being
so weirdeverr and Tamar is like, oh, I think it's
because she thinks something. She thinks that something is coming
for her. That she thinks that. I was like, does
she think that?
Speaker 1: I wonder why? But yeah. We We end the episode
with all of the women getting to the next morning
and Tamra brings up the Gretchen posts and again, this
is such a shock or I mean, are all of
these women maga?
Speaker 3: I think tam Rat is, Emily definitely is. Gretchen is
Gretchen is? I mean they're Orange County.
Speaker 1: That's Republican County, right exactly.
Speaker 2: Jana might not be.
Speaker 1: Ja might not be. I'm not saying that all MAGA people.
Speaker 3: I bet Terry and HD vote Republican for billion percent.
Speaker 1: And you know what, before we got the episode.
Speaker 3: By the way, I don't care how you vote. I'm
an independent.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I do, but we're not going to talk about
it here. We get to we glossed over the call
home to Terry de brou who oh oh, probably one
of the I think it's probably peak awful Terry de
Brow when we called home, well, peak awful the Debros,
which I've pointed out, and now that our listeners understand this,
they have two storylines, how much real estate we have
and how fucking.
Speaker 3: Awesome are we as a family. Terry Deburrow is dad
of the year. He's going to show up at a
basketball game in bleachers. Oh my god, the horror. I
have four activities I need to go to tonight for
my two fucking crumb crisers, right, and I'm drunk, and
I'm still gonna go because I'm a great dad.
Speaker 2: The think pat the correction of this was peak the
Debros being awful, not just Terry, is it because the
brilliance of the editors to then have Heather in her
itms doing the whole like my dad was. I mean,
he was a great provider, but he was never they
sure you know we? Oh, well, it's well, Terry, Terry,
I'm excited to hear how you think those bleachers are
For the first time, mind you about two kids. I
believe that I've already graduated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and get in the comments. Let us know if
you go to your children's games and if you like
the Debros. Sorry if this show got too dark, let
us know in the comments if it did. We love
you very much for listening. Until next time, I'm Dylan
saying goodbye, Pat say goodbye, or do Ruby say goodbye?
Bye bye Eileen, give us a goodbye, b