Speaker 1: Growth and Simulation. Growth and simulation sound trickly.
Speaker 2: Yo. Welcome to Johnny Woodard presents Broken Simulations. Starry Johnny Wondard,
We are in it. Daddy's got baby aids, baby age
baby aids, dude.
Speaker 3: So you're good for it, what like two or three
times a year.
Speaker 2: Well, it's like a combination. It's like this is, you know.
Speaker 3: A combination of your regular aids that you always have.
Speaker 2: My homegrown ades, okay, and then this new baby aids
which comes up and it's just when you're stressed and
then you get a little sick. It's like a cocktail
for destruction.
Speaker 3: Like flying if you have to have a long flight.
Speaker 2: Oh it's the worst, dudio or you don't get any
sleep the worst.
Speaker 3: So exismes dog.
Speaker 2: So yeah, exactly, Johnny, you piece of shit. So uh,
crazy day, crazy time in La right now.
Speaker 3: Sity's on fire again.
Speaker 2: I'm just good. You could you can, by the way,
it's it's it's the air is smoky, by the way,
have you noticed it. It's like a weird kind of
little like gray er tint to it. Yeah, and it
is weird energy, Johnny.
Speaker 3: It is this is our hot top.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's weirds. And you know me, I love catastrophes
in LA because you know what that equals death. No
great traffic, no traffic. You can get around anywhere you want.
I got here. I always planned to be about an hour. Drive.
Guy here in thirty minutes because nobody's on the road.
Nobody wants to drive. They don't know when these these
people are gonna shut down, uh shut down. You know
some highway right.
Speaker 3: You don't want to get stuck on the freeway. Nobody's
taking dann Waimo. I can tell you that shit.
Speaker 2: Oh dude, you see that. Someone commented, I wish I
knew his name, but it was the funniest thing. And
he goes, this is where Cybernett gets pissed when we
blow up those cars. This is the genesis of their
war against Matt.
Speaker 3: All your faces right now.
Speaker 2: But my favorite thing is how they're all lined up
like a nice presentation right there.
Speaker 3: There's just all like that, like all the bricks and
then all the way mos lined up nicely for.
Speaker 2: All the bricks and way moos. Bro. That sounds like
a great country living bricks and way mos anyways, So.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it does kind of sound like Turks and Keicos
where we're the number one?
Speaker 2: Are we still? Dude?
Speaker 3: I'm sure tour to like the three bars on the beach.
Speaker 2: We'll just saw on the beach beg some Turks and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, all this footage. So there's all this footage,
and I think I don't think there's as many There
are as many people on the in the streets as
I show. But have you noticed Well you.
Speaker 2: Called it, Johnny, didn't you say when we we we
had an Eddie Bravo episode, just drop we got into it.
But I think you said it. They're all media people.
Speaker 3: That's what I was about to say. Yeah, is that
you look around and is just a line of people
all with cameras. Although they're more journalists, there are just
as many journalists as there are a protests.
Speaker 2: All these great shots. It's just so ridiculous, dude. It's
like you are. It's like, listen, dude, you go you
on team people or team fed, always team people, always
team people.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Do I think it's right that they should be grabbing
people at certain moments, ripping them from the fan? I
do not. Okay, is this the first president to depour people? No? No,
not even he's not putting close numbers to the guys
before him.
Speaker 3: He's just doing it with a little more.
Speaker 2: It's just a difference between him and the rest of
them is that the media has told you to hate them,
and you just listen to these people. And there are
people I love. I mean, I absolutely love them. I
do not know if they love me back based on
my politics. But that's okay, Daddy said. Any where. It's
like I can love you and you don't have to
love me back. I'm okay with that, okay. But the
things that these white progressives are saying on the internet,
these white it's so dumb because and listen, dude, I
am always on team people, always, even if I think
they're being manipulated, Right, I prefer the people. Now, we've
had within the last we'll say nine years, we've had
some situations, right, So we'll go through BLM January sixth,
COVID LA riots. Now, if you study progressives, they flip
flop on all those all the time. Right. So the
BLM people were freedom fighters. Yes, the January sixth people
are insurrections. The COVID people are are trying to keep
people safe. Right. And then now the the the uh.
The LA Riders are just fighting for freedom.
Speaker 3: They're like the new George Washington's even though they're sorry guys,
baby AIGs so.
Speaker 2: And it's all depends on where where the government stands
on that that they decide who is right and wrong. Okay.
My whole thing is like I can study all those
and go, where's the hidden hand in it? That's my problem.
There's they're all agent provocateurs. Now all this ship's coming out,
Johnny about all these craiglist heads. Have you seen this?
I have yea for someone to get rough And it's
very weird that a LA Rider advertisement and a BDSM
gay man advertisement sound exactly alike. Looking for a rough
guy and afraid to fight, won't give up, take a
punish it. It is really a are you looking for
an insurrectionist for a gay gay lover? I can't tell
here it is right here?
Speaker 3: Okay, now you know, take it for what it's worth.
Anybody can post it Craigslist. Obviously, I could be satire
who knows looking for the toughest bad asses in the
city Los Angeles. Ye, seeking extremely tough, brave men for
a new crew. I'm building. Compensation is sixty five hundred
to twelve five hundred per week. We are forming a
select team of the toughest dudes in the area. This
unit will be activated only when the situation demands it,
but you get paid every week, whether you're taken it
up the ass or nine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so crazy.
Speaker 3: High pressure, high risk, no room for hesitation. We need
individuals who do not break panic or fold under stress,
and are basically all around kick ass dudes. Physical strength, speed, conditioning,
it's all important, but meant mental toughness is everything. If
you're not the biggest gay guy in the room, but
you're the one people follow when things go bad, that's
who we're looking for. And it just goes on like
that forever, bonus experience, military, etcetera. Right, it's so crazy, right, yeah, yeah,
it's insane. Well, and then you have Okay, here's here's
to me that people are missing the point of what's happening.
So Laura Lumer goes on Twitter. Oh, it says the
dumbest right wing activity.
Speaker 2: Traction off that nine hundred thousand views.
Speaker 3: So she goes on Twitter, right, and I'll try to
find your tweeter. Yeah, Laura Lomer says, time to deploy
polunteer to Los Angeles to deal with the illegals. You
know you'd love to see it. You're lying if you
say you wouldn't.
Speaker 2: And I say, I go up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And Sam says there's no coming back from this tweet,
and you're absolutely right, And she says, I don't care.
I'd say it again. I don't care if pollunteer tech
surveils jihatis and illegals. I want them all out of
my country. Do you really think we're going to mass
deport sixty five million people without advanced technology? Are you
that naive? Remove every single one? And you responded, enjoy
the free fall. Now here's how you know that. Everybody
in the media they're missing the point because if you
type in Laura Lumer right now, these are the stories
that come up. Nothing about that. It's all about her
calling AOC chunky yeah, and all the stories are that.
Speaker 2: Is that crazy? They find pictures of Laura Lumer in
the same dress with a giant cummy Tommy, Oh really, yeah?
Speaker 3: So she called her a porky Porto rican as as you.
Speaker 2: Oh minded, dude, I like she's entering her thick lawt teenage.
Who cares I don't even think she's that fa she's annoying.
Speaker 3: You know, her big Their boobs have gotten bigger too.
Speaker 2: Everyone keeps hoping she's pregnant for some reason. New York
is not for sale. New York is not for sale.
They want this bitch runs so bad she had had.
The only person that has a chance is Tulsea Gabbert
because you can stand, you can Democrat. You're fine with
her voice. It's the only one. She has a phone
sex voice, and you're like, yes, anything else sounds like
your wife grinding you. But isn't it.
Speaker 3: I mean, for all the I mean, nobody's focused on
that except for Sam Tripoli of course.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean there's the guys who they always get
called the black pills. They've been on our show. They're
the one calling it out.
Speaker 1: But Laura Lumer.
Speaker 2: I don't even hate Laura Lumer. I think she's a
Zionus weirdoot. But sometimes she has some good points. But
this is the end of it, dude, you can't come
back from this, Laura. Have you watched Terminator, the Matrix
Judge Dread what was the hairson Ford one? Not sling
Blade Blade Runner. They told us this is happening. Why
are you calling for.
Speaker 3: It's so dude, and it's just this issue. It's got
people divided along exactly the wrong lines. The right wingers
should be the ones that are most vociferously against this
kind of surveillance. Again, the anti surveillance state people, they
should all be against this because it's this immigration thing.
Speaker 2: And then these idiots are like, well about your iPhone,
I choose to be on, that's my consent. Like do
you like getting a camera speeding ticket? Well you didn't.
You know, you weren't speeding, but because of the angles
they got you rolling through a red light. That's how
I beat it. I hit my I had to fight it.
I hit my fucking break at the last second. Then
he goes, don't tell anybody. I go, what do you mean,
don't tell anybody? I just fucking beat you.
Speaker 3: Wait, don't tell anybody? What what do you mean that
I won?
Speaker 2: This is Sam triple A's traffic court.
Speaker 3: Who said don't tell anything.
Speaker 2: The guy that we were deliberating, like before I went
in front of the judge, I had to go in
front of somebody else and he had to show me
the video and I go, bang, I just hit the
brake right there, the video stops. You don't know if
I go anywhere because it's just money grab. So like Johnny,
you could be on your iPhone scam and he told
you not to tell him. Yeah, don't say anything that,
But I go, dude, as soon as I leave him
talking to everybody, Okay, So that's that.
Speaker 3: By the way, another instance of Sam Tripley's traffic cord.
Speaker 2: This has been Sam Tripoli's traffic cord. So anyways, I
go on this crazy. So like Johnny, let's say you
just you got it. You gotta get cross street quick
and there's no traffic and you're way down from the
crosswalk and you just draw across. Yeah, and there's a
camera bag. You get a ticket. Oh it's jaywalk. That's
what we're not talking iPhones. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well it's also dude, I mean A Minority Report was
so far ahead of his time, that Spielberg movie, because
it was it showed it didn't just show what that
society is gonna be like, but it showed how worn
down people are, of how used to it people were,
because remember those little spiders that would just they come
in under your door and everybody there's two people in
that movie having sex and they just pause for a
second so that thing can scan their eyes and move on.
That's what it's coming to. They're normalizing it, dude. When
once they've gotten this to ask, people like Laura Luber,
who should be on the front lines against this shah
are asking for it.
Speaker 2: She got her Lady Dick kicked in, and that tweet
just kicked in, dude, and then you have it like
the naivety like she has. She has literal balls telling
me that I am naive when you think that this
Orwellian technology is just gonna be used on Jaehattist and illegals,
Like how I mean, like, you're not that dumb?
Speaker 3: Learn nothing from the Patriot.
Speaker 2: Laura Lumer. You're not that dumb. You've gotten pretty far
in your life. We know you're not that dumb. So
you're either naive and you're too old for that. Okay,
you're either dumb and you've gotten too far to be that,
or you're lying. What do you think she's lying? She
knows exactly, Like.
Speaker 3: Oh, so you think she's on the side of the
big state, like surveillance states, because who's running it? Only
for now though, Yeah.
Speaker 2: But that that's not what they understand. Everybody hates fascism
when it comes after their people. Everyone's fine with fascism,
like she is, what's going after the Jihadis and the
and the illegals, Like it's so naive, Like the dude,
she's exactly like the the the uh, the people who
are demanding everybody get the you know, and they're like,
you know, it's for the good of the whole. You're like, well,
what happened to my body? My choice? This is I
had a friend of mine who I love. She goes,
this is different. I go, no, it's not. And you
know it, you just don't like it. So that's crazy.
Speaker 3: And you have now this weird dynamic between the state
and municipal officials in California and La Karen Bass and
Newcombe have kind of set up themselves against Donald Trump.
And so you have Tom Holman, the borders are I
love that we have anything called a tzar. By the way,
I mean, why do we have that Russian term being
used in our lexicon threatening to arrest you know, Newsom
and Bass, et cetera. Stupid add So Tom Holman goes on,
I can't believe Jesse Waters is hosting a showing fox.
I mean he does some funny stuff, but where was
he before he was like Bill O'Reilly's stooge on the streets,
you know, the man on the street stuff.
Speaker 2: I mean, you work your way up. Yeah, I know,
probably got clapped by Diddy.
Speaker 3: He just seems like a dick.
Speaker 4: Huh.
Speaker 3: Anyway, Tom Homan, this is him threatening essentially Karen Bass
and Newsom with arrest and then I'll play Nusom's response
for have.
Speaker 5: A borderer, we don't. We either have laws or we don't.
Either have a country or we don't. It's time to
choose a side. Borders are Tom Holman is here now,
mister Homan, what happened over the weekend here?
Speaker 6: Well, you said exactly right. I came in Wednesday to
kick off an operation on Friday, and it was a
criminal operations search warrants several places of business they were
involved in money laundering, tax evasion and customers for alid
bring in Oldy the camera, so fucking cam seventeen million
dollars of terror taxes and it's a bigger part of
a bigger investigation have to do with money flowing to Mexico.
Idiot that fund the cartels, the drug cartels.
Speaker 3: So we were everybody on TV community criminal.
Speaker 6: Search warrants, and that's when the protests started. And as
you said, early outside this rest breaking forty illegal aliens
working with these business I mean, what is it? Also
arrested significant criminal public safety trade. You mentioned that several rapists,
child sexual predators, people wanted that committee.
Speaker 3: That's the I just don't understand if you're out because
a lot of these people being deported right now, they're criminals. Yeah,
if you're a criminal.
Speaker 2: You gotta go, Johnny to the progressive left that are
insulated from real world problems, it doesn't matter. I'm seeing
people I love with all my heart, some of the
funniest people I fucking know, getting mad at Ice and
not getting mad at Karen Bass, who is one year
has torched this fucking town, Like I don't even if
you don't think, even if you don't think it's her fault,
which it is, she has been instrumental in all that.
Mike Bens just came out and said she's second command
in a CIA cut out and that guy's got a
kill rate of one thousand percent. So even but let's
say you don't believe it, is it's happened at her watch.
At what point do you go we need a new coach.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's funny, we need new coach totally. Yeah, it
just keeps happening. Well, dude, and she, I mean, she's
just so, she's she's made. She turns your stomach the
way she talks about it too, in this kind.
Speaker 2: Of like she's deliberate.
Speaker 3: She's like a double speaker. You know, you just can't
trust she's squirrel deliberate.
Speaker 2: It's squirreling and like, and dude, this Gavin's news scum.
It's just a scumbag. He's trying to use this for
political game. Well I got it.
Speaker 3: He's going to talk about arrest of the Sift violence
and one was a penetrational Like what's this guy doing?
Just doing doughnuts around the Jaguars.
Speaker 2: Men and women like it is insane to me.
Speaker 6: Much safer America should have been thinking.
Speaker 2: I started driving around in America protesting the government with
a foreign country's flag. Yeah, now I feel the same
way when I see our politicians with Israeli flags. Of course,
not specific to Mexico, No, I love Mexican. I was
just yeah, I talked about last time. Mexicans are great.
Speaker 3: Look at that there's ten Mexican flags, one American flag
upside down out there.
Speaker 2: And this is all. This is all collateral damage. This
is all, this is all they want. Watch g Edgar Griffin,
g Edgar Griffin's Capitalist Conspiracy. You will understand everything happening
right now. It's all Well.
Speaker 3: I heard was one of our guests on Facebook say
that they wonder if this is them cleaning out La
ahead of the Olympics, like just clearing the streets.
Speaker 2: But dude, everything's everything is a leading up to fifteen
min cities.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, look at all those police cars.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But the question is Johnny like a general.
Speaker 3: Sorry, this is him talking about Okay, so he threatened
Karen Bass and knew somewhere the rest.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't understand how no one's going care and
you gotta go. Sorry. I like you, but you've been
like an absolute train wreck as a mayor. The fired
is the good thing. She's done nothing. Now they're a
little homelessnesses seems a little better. Dude, she's her on
her watch. These people been looting the homeless fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's crazy and now it's so newsom he comes
in and here's what. Here's here's his response to the
threat that we didn't play because that guy talked too much.
Speaker 1: Here we go.
Speaker 7: Man, it's again sober and serious moment.
Speaker 4: Meanwhile, can I just add you know, and this is
why I told the president just just get it over with,
arrest me, move on. If he needs some head to scalp,
do it with me. But stop messing with these kids.
Stop messing with four year olds, kids in elementary school.
Speaker 2: The guy who's making everyone give a regime, Dude, this
guy's a put kids out of school. Listen, you really
want to hurt, You want to hurt Gavin Newsom. Go
give his podcast a one star review. Go give it
a one star review. Let's just bottom out that motherfucker
he put he didn't like kids go to school. You
didn't like kids go choges. You don't allow parents have
said for the people, they're all about body autonomy. You
don't apply that to children.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they care a lot about the babies when
they're inside of you, But once they're outside of you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy and both sides.
Speaker 4: Graduations down here, kids are not going in their own graduations.
Speaker 2: Families, grandparents, a lot of hypogrd. Dude, this guy lives
in a bubble of stupid, bazy. He's a bubble of
stupid and Jude, have you seen what Antonio Brown's been
talking about ab Yeah? What they laid pipe on his
wife on Newsome's Way. Yeah, and she squirts, Oh, I
gotta find that. It's so great.
Speaker 3: You have the craziest fact.
Speaker 7: Statisfying to a graduation.
Speaker 2: I can't go much longer walk, I'm sick.
Speaker 7: Guys, It's not just home deposts getting their car washed.
We have incidences. I didn't believe it because.
Speaker 2: I stop at stop. I can't go stop stop. Like, dude,
you wind the people's rest you sent people in to
shut down. Dude, Mom and pop restaurants have closed down
with you in charge, Generational business is.
Speaker 3: Gone, wiped off the map.
Speaker 2: God, Like, dude, you're crazy. You're such a flip flopper.
But the problem is you don't realize that we know it.
And the only people you're getting for the people whose
house is burnt down so they don't even got a
place to say anymore.
Speaker 3: So here's the story about Antonio Brown's from a Daily
Mail x NFL star Antonio Brown has waited into the
ongoing LA riots cause crisis by claiming he had an
affair with the wife of California Governor Gavin Newsom, and
his latest social media bombshell, Brown sent a message to
Newsom simply claiming, I had sex with your wife. Gavin,
you are as ally spells You're there. Brown then went
on to reply to a series of messages he received
in response, with one telling them should be taking care
of his kids, to which he commented, thanks for the advice, dude,
and then uh. He also made some vulgar comments this
must be the squirting. Yeah, the squirting that they're not
afraid to bring up here. Brown social media outburstus just
the latest controversy to surround the ex Tampa Bay Buccaneers star.
Speaker 2: Anyway, that's that guy piked everybody. Do you ever see
the video of him fucking punching the munchkin in Saudi
Arabia pool? Yes? Yeah, I mean, dude, that that is
a level of crazy. She's hot, yeah, dude's yeah, I
don't care. You're married to the devil. Bro, you lose
fifty points with me.
Speaker 3: You're negative, really, but that doesn't to get his wife
doesn't add anything for.
Speaker 2: You to No, No, Antonio is a champion. He's the winner.
You won the Internet.
Speaker 3: You don't want to follow Antonio Brown either.
Speaker 2: Dog do with that giant and a conda b side,
just banging the sides like it's a water log game.
Speaker 3: It's like throwing a hot dog in all the way right,
I'm just going up and down.
Speaker 2: Slash, slush, slush.
Speaker 3: He threw a baseball bat in the pencil sharpener.
Speaker 2: It's is not gonna work, Johnny, Can we get into
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Speaker 3: Hey guys, technology was supposed to make our lives easier,
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Speaker 2: All right, so real quick, I'm really under the weather,
but I didn't want to cancel him because he's one
of my favorite comics. He came in, crushed it. The
guy's a The guy's putting up insane numbers as specials.
He's got three in the can. Dude, how crazy is
That's crazy? All right? Man, enjoyed this at this interview
with at least seek. All right, let's get into a
very excited to have this guy on Johnny out here
a little late. He's probably gonna get fired after the show.
So we're starting at nine there's a bunch of illegals
downtown people looking for.
Speaker 3: Jobs, so we're starting at nine pm.
Speaker 2: But very excited to have you on. Man, I've watched
you from a long time from Afar, like I just
love I love comedy and I love watching people do comedy.
And like Johnny, you don't say this guy's got twelve specials,
He's got three in the can. That's Doug Stanope numbers rights. Yeah,
please don't have to show El Sadik. How are you, buddy?
Speaker 1: You doing, man, I'm doing well.
Speaker 2: Honored to have you on, Dude, I've been watching you
from Afar. I love your style. I think, uh, I
think storytelling is the highest form of stand up comedy
where in like you know, I just put out two
CrowdWork specials because I can do it. But I really
love Yeah, it's like I got the superpower. I find
it somewhat annoying sometimes because I think it's taken over.
But the real like, the real stuff is telling a
story like and I kind of discovered that from Ari Shpear.
And the reason I bring up Ari's because I asked
allR who told the best stories on This is not
happening and he said you you were the best. So
I've always like, after he told me that, I started
watching you and I think it's great. So for those
who may not be familiar with you, can you tell
us just a little bit about yourself from where they
can find you, like promote your special.
Speaker 8: Yeah, you can go on Ali Sadiq dot com and
go down the rabbit hole, you know, to a dates
and new specials. The my two sons out right now.
But you can go back and watch what's that Domino Effect?
The four part series of Domino Effects, and yeah, that's
that's pretty much me.
Speaker 2: That's a gorgeous website. Dude. I always watch you. I'm like,
that's gorgeous. You know. I love it, dude, I love it.
I love everything you're doing. One of your you know,
one of my favorite jokes of yours is your Father's
Day joke, which is like, I think every dad relates
to that because we're we're coming into Father's Day and
nobody's talking about it. Of course there's riots going on,
but nobody's talking about it. Nobody cares. And the fact
that like ourbor day is more celebrated then dad's days.
It's such a well written joke. Man, it's such a well.
Speaker 8: That's crazy that it comes up every Father's Day. Yeah,
never thought I would have something that, you know that
I shot that what two thousand and fourteen or thirteen,
something of that nature, and it comes up every Father's Day.
Speaker 2: It's a perfect joke. It's a perfect joke. Now, Johnny,
who's going to be here, probably not after a show,
but he's going to be the only kid. But you
tell me you have a great Patrick Ewing story.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's a part of the specials that I'm shooting
in February, which is I don't know why I keep
forgetting the name of what I titled this special, but
it's kind of like I'm doing a special based on
all the people who I've gotten into. Oh it's called Conflict.
So oh that's great.
Speaker 2: That's a great name.
Speaker 8: That you know, I've gotten into it over the years
with you know, so Patrick Ewing is that.
Speaker 1: I told this story on.
Speaker 8: Carmelo Anthony's podcast Live Live in Brooklyn, Seven People in Brooklyn.
Patrick is favorite player been I've been a Nick fan
before he got there, but I definitely was definitely locked
into the Knicks because of Patrick Ewing. He came from
you know, Georgetown.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Paranoya bro I love. I grew up in Syracuse area,
and I.
Speaker 8: Love, Wait a minute, you grew up in Syracuse and
you was with the Hoyat.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had Sherman Douglas, the floor general.
Speaker 2: Billy Owens. That might have been a little bit after ewing,
but Rodnie Cyclad, Derek.
Speaker 1: Coleman, and Derrick Coleman was awesome.
Speaker 2: Yea, he was awesome.
Speaker 8: And I'm like, as a player and a human being, like,
you know, he took care of like his whole neighborhood
something like that.
Speaker 1: You know. It was dope, man, he was definitely.
Speaker 2: My dad used to teach her a high school and
there's one girl there that was so gorgeous. She was
just shouldn't be from upstate New York, you know. She
was like a Miami ten. And one day she comes
up she goes, guess what I got you? Uh? I
got you Derek Coleman autograph. I'm like, what did you
have to do to get it? You know? But he was.
There was a kid in my class. His name was
Bosco Spivey, and Bosco was cousins with Derek Coleman. And
this guy really oh yeah, he could ball, and they
wanted him to go play older, but he just wanted
to hang out with his friends. And then he just
disappeared from school. He's like, I'm gonna go somewhere. He
was only black people here. It was just a white people.
Speaker 1: Upstate New York. Syracuse.
Speaker 8: I think Albany is the only show that I canceled
on last year's tour because of not doing great numbers there.
Speaker 2: That's crazy.
Speaker 1: I just didn't want.
Speaker 2: To I'd have to cancel my whole entire.
Speaker 8: I just didn't want to do and so I did Syracuse,
and then everybody from already their ball tickets. After we canceled,
they just came to Buffalo snaps, which was which was
great because I love I love, But that's the home
of Rick James. Can it not be a great city.
Speaker 2: It's sneaky, it's sneaky good. There's all this technology going
on there too.
Speaker 1: You know what's the crazy thing about Buffalo.
Speaker 8: You when you go somewhere, you figure out or you
find out about what they have going on. They do
the largest June teenth celebration in the country.
Speaker 2: I was like, in Buffalo, in Buffalo.
Speaker 8: In Buffalo, damn it's like, I know, our June teenth
in Houston, it's crazy. But Buffalo I went while I
was there. What it was, I don't even know how
many blocks it was.
Speaker 1: Oh really it was so many. It was so many. Man,
it was insane.
Speaker 8: And I was like, yo, so y'all celebrate Junet Like
he's like, man, this is the biggest event that we have,
and then you you I'm out there in it, and
I was like, yeah.
Speaker 1: This is this is bigger than in Houston. This is
it's definitely big.
Speaker 8: And it happened in right in Houston, having in Galveston,
Like how they beating us in Buffalo.
Speaker 2: That's very weird, right, that's very weird. What is the
Black Christmas? What is that? Kwanza Quansa? Do you do Kwansa?
Speaker 1: Sometimes?
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 8: When I when I remember it's the African on holidays,
it's basically upon you know, family unity. Then you like candles,
you know, just like you know, I think the Jewish
house that they like candles. Yeah, yeah, but you know,
it's a pretty strong holiday. But I don't think we
it hasn't caught on.
Speaker 2: Don't people seen to celebrated are like white people on MSNBC.
Speaker 8: It's like, you know, I gotta remember because I don't
celebrate Christmas.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just don't know.
Speaker 2: You don't Christmas? Why I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't believe.
Speaker 8: First of all, I didn't believe in lyne to my kids, yo, man,
I worked very hard to get gifts for y'all. Some
fat white guys breaking in our house putting down gifts.
Just ain't really what I want to teach them. You know,
I don't believe in any of the like the tooth fairy.
My kids know that I'm the tooth fairy. We have
a whole situation that I've set up with them. They
teeth come out. The rules are, you can hide the
tooth anywhere in your bed and I have to find it.
But I can't wake you up if I'm trying to
get the tooth. So I if you wake up, then
I got to give you double the money that I.
Speaker 1: Was going to you know, pay Oh really, oh man.
And my kids go to the extreme.
Speaker 8: And one of my oldest daughter, I remember looking for
her tooth and then I looked and she had on socks.
I was like, she don't go to bed in socks.
So I pulled her sock off and the tooth was
in the side. Wow, And I put the ten dollars
in her sock. I took the tooth ten dollars in
a sock, and she woke up with ten dollars sock.
She was like, man, I thought I was gonna get
twenty dollars.
Speaker 2: How old is she?
Speaker 1: She's twenty six now, So.
Speaker 2: You got thirty one year old or thirty two year old,
thirty one and you got twenty six, twenty six and
you have a five year old.
Speaker 8: Fourteen twelve, twelve, teen eleven, nine.
Speaker 2: Oh that's great. Seven, that's four. You're only doing odds.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Four is a crazy person? Why she's just crazy?
Speaker 8: A Nia is insane? Like this is I bought a
I bought a Bentley because of Ania. Really she's very
high class. I was getting my my escalade service and
when they was doing that, so that was gonna take
a while. So we just walked over to the dealership
next to the Cawac dealership and she saw this potaga
and she was like, that is that's nice? And so
I got the keys to look at it. And she
set in the back and clicked her seatbolty in and
looked at me and said I'll take it, and like,
you can't even drive, So I bought it. And that's
what she likes to get dropped off at school.
Speaker 2: Then now when she turned sixteen, does she get to
drive that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, she can have it.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's great.
Speaker 1: She's sixteen.
Speaker 8: I'll be what seventy, I'm not you can have it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, what are you gonna do with it? Yeah?
I got ran off the road yesterday by a sixteen
year old in a Lamborghini. Wow, I'm like, man, your
parents are doing well. They gave me that car to drive. Man, unbelievable,
not even paying attention to the road.
Speaker 1: What.
Speaker 8: Yeah, Yeah, my fourteen year old son. I don't think
he's gonna get a Lamba.
Speaker 2: You could get it.
Speaker 8: I may get him a.
Speaker 1: Super Rue, they get.
Speaker 2: A Saturn, get him a lesbian car.
Speaker 1: Pin Egg Sunfire.
Speaker 2: Respect.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now you call she's a little you said, the one
who's a little what was the word you described her?
A little crazy?
Speaker 1: That's what she's a mad girl.
Speaker 2: She's a mad girl. I'm kinda I'm kind of now
trying to come to that to that nice space where
it's like you talk about your kids and you're kind
of real about them, but you don't want them to
see it and then be like, oh, you hate me
or you don't respect me. Do you ever worry about that? Nah,
You're just like I call it like I see it.
Speaker 1: I call it like I see it. Like my kids know.
Speaker 8: It's like yo, I'm because I'm saying the things to
them before I even do it on stage.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, you you're a psychopan.
Speaker 8: Yeah, And at some point they know I'm gonna say this.
You know, Hassan is very He's a bougie kid. Like
I posted something on Instagram on him there I said,
this is my favorite person to go eat with. And
he's eating char char grill, char Broider oysters and he's fortunes.
Speaker 1: This is this, this is life.
Speaker 8: I knew he was different when we was at a
restaurant and he made me feel like I was the adult.
And we were at this restaurant called Papaos and he
stopped the waitress and it was like, pardon me, how
is this real octopus? And I was like, girl, I
act the buss get here. Just got back from Spain
with my with my mom. And he was like, yo, no,
it's it's you out of taste it. It's wonderful. And
I was like, no, I'm good, And I was like, man,
can I have some calamari fried Haut?
Speaker 2: That's got to feel good?
Speaker 1: Though, Yeah, definitely he has a strong palette.
Speaker 2: Do you find I like something that I've done is
like try to not stop the generational trauma of like
shit you went through? Do you did you try to
do any of that?
Speaker 8: I don't think I had to try. They just they
they're not growing up like I did, and I don't
want them to. Like, man, look, listen, you you have
very supportive father. You can do anything you want to do.
So the how my kids operate, they man play whatever
sports you feel, dude, but you're gonna learn different languages.
You're gonna be fluent in different languages. You They homeschooled,
so they have a different educational balance than I did.
And they don't have a lot of distractions, you know.
And I'm trying to be very present even though I'm on.
Speaker 2: The road every week.
Speaker 8: Every week I'm on the road, you know. So I'm
taking off in July.
Speaker 2: That's a good time take off. I took off May.
If I could do it again, I do probably June
and July because it's so it's just everyone's outside.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think that next year I'm gonna do July
and August. So because when I come back from July,
I go into the club for the next month, because
a theater and the clubs are two different.
Speaker 2: Monsters, two different monsters.
Speaker 8: And I don't want to be raggedy in the theater.
I can be raggedy, and I got six got six
tries at it.
Speaker 2: So, oh, sure you're going to film in the club.
Speaker 1: No, I'm a film in a theater.
Speaker 8: But I had to get my I had to get
my stuff back together, my time and back together once
I come back from because when I shut down, I'm
not like other comics. I'm not thinking about comedy for
the month that I'm off, like I don't want to.
I don't want to do no podcasts, I don't want
to do no interviews. I don't want to I don't
want to talk about comedy. I just I'm just over it.
Speaker 1: For July.
Speaker 8: I just want to spend time with my family and
just don't think about anything because I'm already gonna be
going through this with withdrawal of thinking that I have
to be somewhere and that's the first week.
Speaker 1: Week and a half. It's the.
Speaker 8: Oh, I don't have a show, and I done got
dressed before, like literally.
Speaker 2: Getting ready for a stage.
Speaker 8: I'm off and I'm in shining and taking my three
o'clock nap, you know, I take a nap before at
three o'clock every every show day, three o'clock, I'm going
to bed, and I just want to be off and
not think about it.
Speaker 2: Do you ever think you're gonna run out stories or
are you constantly living news stories?
Speaker 8: Constantly living That's me too, so I don't think I
can run out of Do you have to go out.
Speaker 2: And experience shit or does it come to you?
Speaker 1: Things happen? You know.
Speaker 8: I just shot a special called The Dog, and it's
about the relationship between me and this dog that I
did not want that I have a cane course on,
so he is.
Speaker 1: He was definitely I was definitely.
Speaker 8: Opposed to him, definitely a posed. I did not want him,
and he ended up being my dog. He's actually my dog.
He's not the family's dog, boy, he's my dog and he,
you know, we have a great relationship. And I just
did an hour twenty about the relationship. So I'm still, man,
that is awesome.
Speaker 2: That's unbelievable because I remember I was in Awesome Ray
after you played the Creak in the Cave and everybody
was buzzing because you did four shows and they were
all completely different shows. Yeah, and like now, looking at
your proliferation of your material, I go, that's.
Speaker 8: Incredible, man. I like the Creak in the Cave. That
was a good I had a good time. It was
and it was weird because I was outside.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a weird outside kind of no roof, but
a nice stage.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 8: But that that was during the pandemic. Now they didne
went inside after I'm gone cause I went.
Speaker 1: I went.
Speaker 8: Maybe earlier this year just to stop in. I was
in Austin. I was playing a theater there, so I said,
let me go by the Creaking and Cave the day
before and they was all inside. Guy named Adam from
Tennessee that was playing there. And I loved that club
Zany's in Nashville.
Speaker 2: That's a nice club. Nashville is a nice town.
Speaker 8: It is. I ranked them what third and beautiful white girls?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your number one? Oh man, San Diego, Austin.
Austin's nice Austin's got this like that Sixth Street is
like all that, all that humanity as possible from young
white girls, had the world by the balls to like
sci fi homeless people looked like they just escaped the
pod and you're like, dude, yeah, where are you from?
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so they got a
serial killer. Now what Austin has a serial killer? Thirty
eight bodies. They don't acknowledge it. They don't acknowledge it,
but yeah, thirty eight bodies found near a body of water.
Why they they say they drown but there's no.
Speaker 3: Water and it's all young dudes.
Speaker 8: Oh no, what's I think I've heard that. I think
they think that's a woman that's killing people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called a smiley faced killer.
Speaker 1: That's what they call because it's on that.
Speaker 8: A lot of them are ending up like on this,
like this track or something by this water.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the river.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they think that's a woman.
Speaker 8: Really yeah, and and I just think it's young guys,
all guys. Yeah, yeah, so that would be I'm not
accepting no cookies in Austin, not all.
Speaker 2: I'm sober. I don't even deal with that ship.
Speaker 1: Hey, you won't do you want to have a good time. No,
I'm good. I'm good on good times.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that uh certainly not no Shannon Sharp thing.
And you know all black twitters calling white women uh
snow bunnies and they're danger like watch out. I'm like
white guys are like, yeah, no shit, dude. That's why
we're all demoralized, living with our mothers and jerking off
the Japanese anime is because we're getting fucking wrecked by
these white devils. Dude. You know what I'm saying. It's
like crazy, dude, did we begining demoralized? So this patric
quing store I have to hear. He's my favorite, Like
he's affected by stand up, like my stand up. Like
I used to love watching the Georgetown Hoyas go into
the arena and get booed. I used to love that,
and then they've just ripped their hearts out. And like
I remember growing up in other state, New York, and
all I wanted to do is be the first white
player to play for John Thomson. You asked my best
friend college, he goes, Dude, you all you want to
do is play for Joe. I was getting cut from
all my teams. And I was like, it's still gonna happen, right,
That's all I wanted to do. I felled. And you
know the reason I became a Knick fan at first.
They're my second team now, but I was a big
Knick fan, you know, because they got Patrick Ewing with
that really weird draft, which was the first draft they'd had,
right so they you know, he uh, they got with
the cold envelope at night. I just loved Patrick Cueing.
I loved the Nicks, and then when they treat him
like shit and they got rid of them. I had
moved to LA at that point and the only thing
I could afford were Clipper tickets, and they were like
ten dollars at the Staple Center and we would go
to watch. The game was so empty, dude, I told
the story before, but it was so empty in the
Staples Center that I was just riding Sean Bradley, just riding.
I'm like, your garbage, dog, your garbage. He was all right.
He got up and he's like, what what did I do?
I didn't think you could hear me, dude, I'm saying, so.
Speaker 8: That's crazy. I don't think I've ever yelled at at
a game. And I hated James Harden like.
Speaker 2: I hated pay for Houston.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I hated his game, Like, yo, play some freaking defense.
Speaker 1: Man just shooting long jump. He was doing good, but.
Speaker 8: Man, play defense. Yeah, we could have beat Golden State.
I had season tickets. He's the reason I got rid
of my season tickets. Chris Paul was out there doing
his thing. He was holding everybody. Then he gets injured.
I get injured because he's playing all the damn defense.
And he looked at James, He's like, just get me one.
I'm leaving one game for you. And man, James Harden
could not. He just wasn't a defensive threat. You could
shoot three pointers.
Speaker 2: But yeah, and the defense of the playoff gets different,
it gets more physical, and he's just used to doing floaters.
He comes in, he floats it up. He floats up.
I can't do that in the in the I mean,
this whole playoffs has been like there bitching. But's never
been fit either.
Speaker 3: That's never been really fit, just a different He's always
been a little.
Speaker 2: Just a little, Yeah he was. He's a thick guy dog.
So what can I hear the patch Quing story because
I love him so much that's funny. He's not.
Speaker 3: He's never had been about.
Speaker 2: What he he went from.
Speaker 1: Where'd he go from Houston, Oklahoma?
Speaker 2: Where he was like it didn't hurt. Then he shows
up at Philadelphia and he's slim again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would hate that.
Speaker 1: See if.
Speaker 2: He's getting that. He was getting that when that was
like kind of like you know know somebody, Yeah, you
have to have you have to have some pool to
get cook.
Speaker 1: So Patrick Ewing.
Speaker 2: Lucas one, have you seen this guy? Yeah, he's like
he was like dad bought fat and the Lakers and
now they show him in Europe and he's slim, dude,
and he.
Speaker 1: Went like this, they need to get that for Zion.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 3: They need to get more than they need to change
his brain out. That dude.
Speaker 2: It's just so he gets hit with a fifty million
dollar lawsuit from a chick saying that he had right,
and then it turns out it's that crazy as porn star.
They got tattoois on her forehead. Man, you got watched, dude,
you got watch who you hook up with.
Speaker 8: I hate to say this, but my friend called me
a hater when I do it. Marcus d Wilie costs
me a huge hater. He said, I hate everybody that
everybody likes. I thought Blake Griffin was terrible. I'm like, yo,
all he do is dunk. He don't really have no game.
I don't give damn. He jumped over a Kia. He's terrible,
and I was so mad they gave him Rookie of
the Year in his second year.
Speaker 2: He's not over John Wall.
Speaker 1: He's not a rookie.
Speaker 8: He okay, if you got hurt the year you got drafted,
then you just got hurt.
Speaker 1: That's part of the game. They don't make you a rookie. Okay. Cool.
Speaker 8: Then Zion comes out and I'm like, yo, man, he's not.
Speaker 1: Gonna be good.
Speaker 2: He was saying that for a long time.
Speaker 8: He's going to be I'm like, no, he's not like
anybody who just dunks. You're not going to be good.
The last great the last good player that just dunk
was Darryl Dawkins.
Speaker 2: Yeah. They were just talking about you know that that
series on the radio, and like magic, Johnson solidified being
one of the best ever his rookie season, for sure.
But he goes for at Place Center and goes for
forty five. Crazy fifteen, dude, crazy that's crazy.
Speaker 1: And he won his first year out of college. Kareem.
Speaker 8: They don't realize Kareem met him on the plane. Cowboy
had on a blue jeans shirt.
Speaker 1: Hey we did it, baby, Yeah.
Speaker 8: But with Patrick right huge, Patrick, you'e a fan. I
had to park down the middle of my head. I
bought all the shoes. I had the original shoe us
and then I had when he left Adidas, he had
these space boots that had I had three.
Speaker 1: Four pair of them.
Speaker 8: So I'm in this luggage store in the Gallery of
marl in Houston and Patrick Ewing's in there and I
was like, that's Matrick Ewan. I'm gonna ask for a picture.
So I go over, said mister Ewing, can I get
a picture? And he looks at me like and.
Speaker 1: Get away from oh damn.
Speaker 8: And I was like, wow, that's big ass Jamaican told
me get away from him.
Speaker 1: With his face.
Speaker 8: And then I walk out in something in me say nah,
I can't hold it, and I came back in fuck
you Patrick, and I'm going in on Patrick Ewing. He
looked at me like what's wrong with this little man?
And then the guy from the luggage store called security,
and security comes and they know and they know me.
Speaker 2: That is so hilarious.
Speaker 8: And the security guard was looking at me like a
lead please cut the ship.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lose my fucking job with you.
Speaker 8: And they know they know I can fight, and I'm like, yo, bro,
don't put your and my man is like, Lee, come on, man,
he don't want to take a picture of.
Speaker 1: Joel last And I'm so pissed in Patrick. I apologize Patrick,
I was tripping.
Speaker 2: I love him, but that makes me sad because i'd
heard that, you know, he got in trouble. When he says, yeah,
we make a lot of money, but we spent a
lot of money too, You're like, come.
Speaker 1: And he was the cheapest one in the NBA.
Speaker 8: When you find it out, You're like, Patrick didn't spend
no money on nothing, But I got into it. Alex Trebeka,
I'm not gonna tell that story here about that, but
I have.
Speaker 1: A list of people it was like, it's the same.
Speaker 3: Is that specialty.
Speaker 2: Is the com All the conflicts is that they disrespect you.
You feel disrespect.
Speaker 3: Sam's got to think about respect to Like he's big,
Like if you even even a shadow of like a slight,
you know, if he feels like you dissed them a little.
Speaker 8: He like, yeah, yeah, I'm like that because I'm under
the chub Block rule man, chub Rock rulers like yo man,
take time to greet your fans, you know, and with
with me fans know or people who like my what
I do. Just don't approach me with when I'm with
my kids. And that's a safety thing. I don't want
my kids to think that I know you know what
I'm saying, because they they would acknowledge you if they
think that I know you, So I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know you.
Speaker 8: This is one guy who always see me with my
family in Houston, and he finds the need to come
and speak like, yo, man, get the fuck away from me.
And and I didn't like you when I wasn't around
my kids, Like this is the person I know. Why
are you trying to get me to acknowledge you. I'm
not impressed with nothing that you're doing. Like I don't
give a damn what kind of car you have. I
don't give damn what you got going on. I don't
give down who you who you kick it with. I
don't I'm not fond of you as a person.
Speaker 1: You're full of ship dude to me.
Speaker 8: So when I'm with my family, he always finds, hey, man,
what's up Lee? I'm like, Man, I don't know, bro, Like,
I don't okay. When I'm by myself and I see you,
do I ever come up?
Speaker 2: Is it a comic? Where do you keeps? Just unself aware?
Is that what it is? I don't know what motherfuckers
in my life like that. They're just unself aware and
they always make you be the bad guy always.
Speaker 8: I feel like vernilhell On Martin when when came came
to him to kick it any we run how.
Speaker 1: Many times you've been invited to my house? He said?
Speaker 2: Thousands of time?
Speaker 1: How many times have you been to my house?
Speaker 2: He said?
Speaker 1: Never said what would happen if you came to my house?
We were I'm gonna get sprayed? Yeah, this is what
it is. Yeah, I don't kick it with you. I
don't ride with you, dude. I'm not a fan of yours.
Speaker 2: So you know, I don't want to keep it much
longer that You've been going all day and it has
been great. So I saw a clip of you and
I forget what the show was on. I think it
might have been Shannon Sharp's show and you were talking
about Tupac. Was that the show? Do you remember?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And we're kind of going through this thing right now
where like I'm almost assuming if you're on television or
in the movies pt he clapped your cheeks, That's where
I'm at right now. Even if you're in a commercial. Dude,
I'm like that dude got sucked by p That's how
you found right. So, so you were talking about like
you knew him before he was Tupac.
Speaker 1: I just met him.
Speaker 8: I just met I knew money B from Digital Underground
and we were at this rap convention in Houston at
the Higher Regency and they in the elevator. I'm about
to get on the elevator and like, Yo, this is
my people is Poe And I remember him being U
d sk wasn't uh, he wasn't thugging it out at
the time he was with Digital Underground.
Speaker 1: He was, you know, background dancer. You know, had had
a verse.
Speaker 8: But people act like he didn't do the album, Brenda
had a baby that didn't have no the life, nothing
on it. And I keep explaining people, why would I
think that he was a thug dude when I'm in
the streets at the time, like I'm a street dude,
and I wasn't on one, but I'm there with other
people because I'm I have funded some things and I'm
just at the convention. Also at that convention that I
remember the escalator being broke, right, and I'm walking to
the escalator.
Speaker 1: And it's broke.
Speaker 8: But sitting on the elevator, I mean on the escalators
steps was Dana Dane and I was like, Yo, send
the fella, and he's like, what's up?
Speaker 1: And we end up talking.
Speaker 8: I've kicked it with a bunch of people because I
was in the space. But I didn't understand why people
took this like like they was mad. Don't ever say
nothing about Tupac, Right, So Tupac wasn't a dancer for
this runa.
Speaker 1: He wasn't.
Speaker 3: I mean you've seen that interview him in like high school.
Speaker 1: Right, like he went to Juilliard. I went to prison
in nineteen ninety one, forty term nineteen. What you think
I went for? You do you think I was? I
wasn't in the streets. I've been in streets. I was fourteen.
Speaker 8: I didn't like this whole everybody, like if you went
if you got called selling drugs in two thousand or
ninety nine, like you a fucking stooge, cause like what
it was, damnar over. I started selling the which I'm
not proud of in eighty eight. Cracking just came on
the scene heavy in eighty five eighty six, So I'm
the third years would have been from eighty seven to
about ninety six. If you're you're a younger guy, and
then you know, we quite know, we know the era
of the power cocaine, then we know heroin that's before
my time. But I came home in nineteen ninety seven,
why would you still be selling drugs?
Speaker 1: And like people were like they have real estate scans
at that time. Was they moved on? They people like
you still something.
Speaker 2: Crapn So what is your thoughts on that? Like there's
been this kind of big movement. So I tell the story.
But I was at the Mothership and I went there
with Rogan just to his show. He brought me there
and it was Andrew Schultz was headlining the Big Room.
Have you played the comedy The Marship?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a nice room, right, couple, So we're going
to back and he you know, he goes, hey, dude,
why do you think they're coming out with this Obama stuff?
So my my thing is demortalization. But what is your
thoughts about like all this shit and hip hop where
it's like so many of them seen to be down low,
and what do you think that's about? Do you think
that is about control? And why we're seeing this big
p diddy thing and like everybody testifying, it's like every
winner from the two thousand and five BT Awards seems
to be off there, Like what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 8: The weird thing is, I'm not even following the did
He trial. I made one comment about something that I heard,
and all of a sudden people got mad at me
because I said something about Cassidy. Was she not a
willing participant? I was on Gary Owen's podcast, right, And
I'm not saying him beating her up was was good
because it's not. And I'm not saying that did He
did everything right? And I'm not in his corner. I'm
not against her. At some point you don't find no
courage to leave, and then when you but you was
already leaving freely when and you have money, you have
money that you made as your own money. I know
women who have been in terrible situations with no money,
and they managed to get away. They managed to say,
you know something, enough is enough. But I wasn't defending
him and I wasn't downing her. I was just saying,
first of all, I was being I was joking, but
I wasn't doing either one. So I don't really follow
Diddy well when I hear something like yo, like in
my mind, I wish you would spit somebody else's nut
on my nipples. It's gonna be a problem. It's gonna
it's gonna be such a problem. I don't even think
I'm mad enough to do like a threesome like I've
never done like his side, I can't be I don't
want you in there, like I don't think I'm getting
a full experience with you being in like what are
you doing?
Speaker 1: Like Mandy, it's a weird thing.
Speaker 8: And so I don't really know who's testified. I just
keep hearing bits and pieces the punisher.
Speaker 2: Like that is crazy. What's your name?
Speaker 8: And then I said about on another podcast on Shannon's
that it would be such a problem with me if
he asked me, Hey, everybody, bring the equipment in the
bathroom while you know, why would I be bringing the
equipment in the back, Like what are you okay? What
you in there doing? Is it better acoustics in the bathroom?
Like what would we be doing in the bathroom? The
band is in the bathroom.
Speaker 2: That's where the directors seated, like camera what?
Speaker 1: And you in the shower?
Speaker 8: And I got a banjo in my hand, like it
be like what the hell is going on? So I
don't really know who's testifying against him who said something
like that.
Speaker 1: I that I would know because I don't know.
Speaker 2: The punisher, the one guy I forgot what the name
of the rapper was that he said that P did
he fire bombed his car, then sucked up his dog
and opened up all his Christmas gifts. What that's literally
what he did?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 2: And I'm like that's some John Wickship somebody's dog dude. Right,
I'm g give and open all this Christmas.
Speaker 8: I'm spoiling Christmas for you because having your gifts out, yeah,
and leaving them like yeah, oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I had a many sweater shows up.
Speaker 2: And then they have a meeting like two weeks later
about what just about the situation by him opening up
all these christs. Yeah, and he's like, what we're gonna
do about my car? And he goes, I don't know
what happened your car? And he just walks off.
Speaker 3: So he's just like franking people.
Speaker 8: He's yo, man, I think did he nobody whooped did
his ass? Because Okay, he wasn't like that in Houston.
I've been the Two Diddy parties at a club. Everybody
left at two. It was a good party. And this
is when he rap a lot, would play bad boy
in a basketball game.
Speaker 1: I don't think he's ever did it in.
Speaker 8: Houston because somebody in Houston would have whooped his ass.
Like I just we just we were different in the
h man, and we're different in Texas. Yeah, we liked
the fight so and losing a fight ain't ship to us. Like, Okay,
y'all lost, and I bet you're on a fight again.
You've been to Austin. Sixth Street is a melee of
drunken people fighting after they have had a good time
and then hugging after the fight.
Speaker 1: He's gonna get tattooed together. I love Texas, man, I
just don't don't.
Speaker 8: I don't know what Diddy got going on, but I
think he's gonna probably get off.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be interesting. I mean, there could be something
like that. I don't know if he proved.
Speaker 3: That kid Cuddy who got his oh ye who got
his car firebond his Christmas gifts?
Speaker 8: And I think Diddy can do that to people that
he knows is really not that tough.
Speaker 2: But what does he get? Okay, he gets off? Where
do you go after that? Who do you call? You
want to hang out? What do you want to do?
Speaker 8: He's definitely gonna get out because listen, this what's gonna happen? Okay,
they gonna try because I never know nobody being in
recocase by theyself say, if he gets some time, Donald
Trump is going to pardon him.
Speaker 2: You think so? Really he just says he's gonna lobby
against that.
Speaker 8: But and what does fifty? What type of power does
fifty have against? They just let Larry who? Larry who
was coming home?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know young and what young? What's the brother name?
Young boy?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah yeah, yeah, he.
Speaker 8: Just partnered him as well, like he just he just
partnered Trump is just sitting home. You know, how do
I get street cred?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Hey man C murders next Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, officially now murder has been.
Speaker 1: That'd be that'd be crazy. Do you understand.
Speaker 8: No limit is gonna lose it? It was see Money
come Home, new album Money.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean when they come out of the prison, they
got to have like a thousand songs. What else you
got to do? Got to you gotta just sit down?
How many did you were you doing stand up before
you went in or was it after?
Speaker 8: No I did stand up when I came home.
Speaker 2: And that was one of your goals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was the goal.
Speaker 2: They're like, I'm gonna do stand up on right all
the stories.
Speaker 1: That was the plan. I love that it was crazy.
Speaker 2: And I love that you come up with a theme
like I love that, like I'll try to come up
with Okay, what is this our gonna be about? What
is this out? And I love that. I mean, to
talk about your dog for an hour is amazing, dude,
I can't wait to watch that. So my final question,
because then I want to keep all night. Who's your
favorite comic of all time and did they have any
influence on you?
Speaker 8: I don't think I have a favorite of all times.
There's so many comics that I really have a lot
of admiration for so you have Don Rickles have Dick Gregory,
you have Rodney Dangerfield. And then I liked everybody for
different reasons. And and I like I liked Chappelle before
everybody else liked him.
Speaker 1: And I don't know, Carol Bnnett, it's a lot.
Speaker 2: Of Joan Rivers was a savage.
Speaker 8: Joan Rivers de savage. And yeah, I don't think I
have one person. But if I had to pick, I
just really had to just narrow it down, it would
probably be Cosm.
Speaker 2: He was a great storyteller, dude. Yeah, he was a
great storyteller. Yeah, man, he's out. Now, maybe you can go.
Speaker 1: Show without Donald's pardon, all.
Speaker 2: Right, one more time? Tell him where they can find you?
Speaker 8: Alisde dot com, Well you can go on YouTube aleis
ad Comedy. That's why I'm at. You know, the website
is got all the information on it. Go see a
new special Father's Day. I'm definitely dropping. Go make sure
you go watch my two sons and go back down
the rabbit hole of Domino Effect one through four.
Speaker 2: You know, well you're a crusher, dude, sonra have you
on the show, and thanks for coming on dude, I
appreciate you. You great interview. Yeah, that was fun. We've
been doing a lot of interviews lately, which isn't necessarily
the show, but it's fun when we can get some
good people in this nice to break it up so
real quick. What's his name from ninety day Fiance? Yeah?
Sorper did great on the he did, he did did great.
But the funny thing is, I had a guy call
me up, so I paid him. I paid him a
full comics cash for comedy chaos because I thought a
lot of people came to see him and I don't
know if I wrecked him and I made him think
that's what normally happens. Because another guy hit me, I
was like, dude, he's asked me for all his money.
I go, okay, how much he goes three hundred? I
go okay. I routed that guy. Oh, if you're listening, Sper,
I wouldn't do that. I would just take anything and
get and just get reps in because you're good. People
love you and like, the best way to keep this
train rolling, brother, is to do stand up and constantly
be out there.
Speaker 3: Was that a guy from the ice house, No, another guys.
He just did the tell, but I doubt he's getting
that there.
Speaker 2: No, there's no way unless unless the promoter did it.
But the mate, you're on the Sam Triple Show, bank
you're off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is everywhere.
Speaker 2: All these open micers call me, uh, what's it called
the gatekeeper?
Speaker 3: Do they really?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Because it's just super negative, right, It's just and
it's like, I am a conduit. I'm a conduit. I
see energy on people. I know what they need to do.
I bang, dude, I loved it.
Speaker 3: Well he took you know, Danielle uh said, because she
listened to interviews. She was really into it. She said
that if you notice he took every piece of advice
you gave him in that interview, like to heart, and
did it on.
Speaker 2: Ste Well, it's great, it's great.
Speaker 3: He didn't he had his shirt like, he wasn't showing
all his chest off anymore, and he hasn't since you
told him that.
Speaker 2: And I told I was gonna put him late, and
I go, no, dude, he's too good of a guy.
So I put him at work perfectly where you Yeah,
and he got it going. And I think Bobby Lee
followed him after this job. Wolf Bobby. That was a
long night.
Speaker 3: It seemed like, what's the what's the guy's name of
does crowd work? He seems like he didn't like him
too much.
Speaker 2: But I mean, no, I think the mayor. What happened
with the mirror is that Bobby wanted to go up.
And I'm gonna say this right now, Amir Kay is
the funniest guy in l A. He's the funniest guy.
The guy carrying the.
Speaker 3: Comedy pissed off though to me, I don't know, I
don't think.
Speaker 2: That probably wanted to go up and probably got upset
that Bobby wanted to go next.
Speaker 3: But he was like he was on the sound system
and I mean he was just on. He was on it.
Speaker 2: Dude. That guy is so fucking fat. Okay, going back
to what I wanted to talk to you about. I
finally watched that Pee Wee Hermann special. Oh I haven't
seen you said? You saw?
Speaker 3: That was Jason? Yeah, he was telling me about it.
I haven't seen him.
Speaker 2: Okay, So you don't want me to talk, well, can
I just ask you a couple?
Speaker 3: Can you talk about?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll just say it this.
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 3: I noticed Sarper Srper went like pretty long.
Speaker 2: Uh, ran the life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm like pretty pretty well past. I just
thought that was funny, Like did did did he do?
You think he just didn't know or what he was
just like.
Speaker 2: Because I think he thinks his eight minutes, yeah, his
twelve fifteen minutes is really he thinks it's eight minutes.
Speaker 3: Which eight minutes is a lot just for you know,
for that slot anyway.
Speaker 2: Right, So yeah, I mean, like, dude, when the when
he walked out, they weren't crazy.
Speaker 3: I mean it was a lot of girls you could tell.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of hot, hot women. His wife was beautiful, torgeous, yeh, beautiful,
just another level of human being.
Speaker 3: He posted after on Instagram this.
Speaker 2: Uh oh, Johnny, can I send you this? Yeah?
Speaker 3: He posted this this like review that he got from
the Comedy Store website or something talking about or on
Reddit or something at the Comedy Store show about how
great he was. Oh really yeah yeah yeah, and he
seemed pretty proud of it. She posted a picture of
him on the on the on the Comedy Store lineup.
Speaker 2: You know, he let me know if you get it, Josh.
Speaker 3: They misspelled Lucas HURL's name. I noticed on the lineup,
Poor Lucas.
Speaker 2: I love Lucas. He he's a great writer. And I
just sent to you, so text it. Yes, it's from
my other phone. So so my.
Speaker 3: My oh yes, yes, yes you almost forgot about this.
Speaker 4: Ok.
Speaker 2: My aunt text me, oh my god, you got starper
on the show. I was like, yeah, well, apparently my
mother loves it too, And I wish I wouldn't known
that because I would have made a video for her.
But after what he said to my aunt, I'm kind
of happy I didn't make a video for my mother.
I know you don't want to hear about a turn
you wanted to go in and yeah.
Speaker 3: Hold on, let me play it, hold on, hold on,
I gotta get it over to the computer. But yeah,
well it's kind of his persona.
Speaker 2: Yeah he turns it on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that's his thing on the show too. It's
like he has a reputation as a ladies man.
Speaker 2: Let's say, dude, people get giddy when he walks around. Yeah,
he's that kind of handsome.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, you wouldn't. You wouldn't take him for forty
seventy three.
Speaker 2: Well, you know it's very interesting too, is because you
always have these comics that are like, oh, dude, so
good looking, and you go, he's good looking for a comic. Yes,
they're not good looking for a good looking guy. Here
it is. This is to my aunt.
Speaker 1: VICKI Hello, and Vicky WI. This star for Oh my god,
imagine that once up when I met bad boy turned
into a good boy.
Speaker 7: And look, oh my god, take care of yourself. I
hope years too many to be by Billings. You happen
as Joey love peace sakes.
Speaker 2: I wish my aunt sat.
Speaker 8: Mystis and plastics, pure beautiful family.
Speaker 2: She's like seven crush so funny.
Speaker 3: You can tell. He's been doing a lot of cameos
for sure.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I got him to do a cameo way back when
for Jeff and Tebow on like one of their birthdays
or something else. Yeah, and he was talking about, oh, guys,
I've been talking shit about me. I can't remember what
he said, but it was, Yeah, they loved it.
Speaker 2: I wanted to get into this whole thing about that doc.
Speaker 3: You want me to watch it this week and then
we'll talk about next week. All right, I let me
write it down. Hold on, I'm just ripped through the news, Requick,
I'm tired. Let me I'll rip through the news.
Speaker 2: I'm sick. Guys. You guys can hate me because I
gotta go, but I hate me.
Speaker 3: Because you ain't me. Let me write that down. Pee wee.
Speaker 2: It's a very interesting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody says it is. Yeah, because of the way
it's anyway I want. Yes, I've heard the format of it.
Speaker 2: Though.
Speaker 3: It's like because he's sick, right.
Speaker 2: No, that's not why.
Speaker 3: Well okay, that's what he was.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 3: Uh so this just came over not too long though,
this was today, so ourfk, we're in the news now,
just completely fired everybody on the on the Vaccine Advisory Committee,
just everybody's gone. He's gonna bring in all new.
Speaker 2: I think he's trying. I just think it's like, so,
somebody hit me up today and they go, they go,
why why is this happening?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Why is all this stuff? Oh no, no, no. Somebody
gave me up a comic. He asked, why is cash
Fattel flipping? And I'm his name ca By the way,
did you see uh that his name is really when
you put together cash app So so hit me up
and I go, yeah, dude, and I did the Bill.
I texted the Bill Hicks joke that they showed him
an angle of the JFK assassination no one never seen before.
I put Bill Hicks and he laughed and I go dude,
I go dude. He he didn't realize he was in
He was in a shark tank and he's a dolphin.
Speaker 3: That's it. Yeah, that's total you. Here's the here's the clip.
If we want, well, he went on rogan and then
just got he was just weird about it.
Speaker 10: The narrative has always been that there's video, but what
about the video from the island.
Speaker 9: Again, We're going to give you everything we can, and
people have to remember we're not going to revictimize.
Speaker 2: That's where he lost it. Nobody gives a fuck because
they all want the videos.
Speaker 1: He wins not doing it.
Speaker 9: You want to hate me for it? Fine again, logical playout.
If there was a video of some guy or gal
committing felonies on an island and I'm in charge, don't
you think you'd see it?
Speaker 3: Well, you just said you wouldn't show it though, and
now you're saying it doesn't. Who was it said.
Speaker 2: Saying there's ten thousand videos, like hours of it. Dude,
this is it, dude. They got something on this guy
or his wife's Israeli snatch is just vice grip.
Speaker 3: Do you think it's any chance it's because we haven't
talked since Elon and Trump fell out. Do you think
it's any chance it's what Elon said that his boss
cash but Tell's boss is in these is in this ship, dude,
he's on the videos. I mean, any chance of that well.
Speaker 2: I mean Whitney Websman saying that forever Whitney Websmon talking
about how Ray Cohen is like the master of that
coon and then you get into the raw child's bailing
him out and I think the eighties, eighties of the nineties. Yeah,
so it's like, but the problem is is like and
again we talked about before on timfole High, like his
response was not Trump response, which makes me think there's
something there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, whenever Trump has been attacking the past, he always
matches it or exceeds it when with his response. And
when the Elon thing, he just kind.
Speaker 2: Of the response is if they had something, it would
have came out. The other side would put it out
unless they're on tape too. Like how deep does it go?
I think it goes to every single spot of power.
I mean carrot Bass is controlled op.
Speaker 3: Well, the most interesting outcome of this is if it's
blackmail material that Massad doesn't want to burn, do you
know what I mean? Like blackmail is only useful when
it's the.
Speaker 2: FBI, CIA don't want those tapes out because they got
a macade because they can use it.
Speaker 3: For leverage exactly. And once it's out there, it's over.
You know, there's no leverage anymore. You lose all of it.
So I did. Yeah, it's just so listen to him,
he gets so weird. You have it right, And this
is a guy who was on the record like I'm
putting it all out day one. It's going out.
Speaker 2: I don't care. But you can't say that you have it.
Speaker 9: No, we're giving you everything we.
Speaker 10: Have and is there video from the island, not of
what you want, So this narrative might not be accurate.
Speaker 2: We know that this exactly.
Speaker 10: Have you guys reviewed everything that you.
Speaker 9: Have almost like we're that's I mean, yes, we have,
and now we're figuring out how to.
Speaker 2: Put it out.
Speaker 3: But they put this music on.
Speaker 9: If there was ever if there was footage of anyone
doing anything else, we would.
Speaker 1: Have opened a case.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and it's all with little kids.
Speaker 9: If there was a video of some guy or gown.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he's not gonna last. They're gonna throw him
out burn that's a burnt brand and he's gonna be gone.
And Dan Bogino is gonna be the same thing. Someone
said he looks like fucking robo cop. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Uh, let's see what we got here. Okay, So yeah,
r f K clean clean the slate. He fired all
seventy members of the US Centers for Disease Controls and
Preventions Panel that's the CDC's panel of vaccine experts, and
is in the process of replacing them. So maybe a
positive sign that RK is gotting it back on the tracks.
I don't know. We'll see. Uh so yeah, we do.
We hold No, that's we We played the Tim Dillon Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we played that. The Peter Thielding huh yeah, no,
we've put we know we haven't played where he said that.
They've asked him, yes.
Speaker 3: This is it right, Yeah, yeah, this is what I
wanted to play. This is it's also kind of like creepy, almost.
Speaker 11: Not one reservation about what's going on over there. I'm
not saying I'm not saying you have to feel one
way or another way. But if you don't have any reserve,
if you have no reservations about what's happening with all
these kids getting killed, If I don't know, I can't
trust you, if you don't have any reservations about Palenteer
taking everyone's information.
Speaker 2: I I don't know. I can't. I don't know if
I can trust to you. I don't. I think they're
buying people left and right. This is my gas. They
tried to buy me, my puss. It costs a lot
of money. I get invited to these dinners.
Speaker 3: The way he says this is really interesting, but he
takes I think he's thinking about whether he should say this,
because he's like, oh, no, you try to buy a
lot of people. I think you know. And then he
take a drink and he's.
Speaker 2: Like, I've been invited to Teal's house multiple times for dinner.
I don't go. It's no shade at them, of course
I get it.
Speaker 11: What it is the reason I don't go is I
know I remember one dinner like we'd like to discuss
the media. I go, what, No thanks, we'd like to
discuss dinner? We discussed the media and culture?
Speaker 2: Uh? No thanks, appreciate it. Imagine ordering food and your
food's on even out and they already drop that on you,
and now you have to fucking figure out how you
can get your food in it to go bag and
not have this conversation with Peter Thiel just sweating by you.
Speaker 3: That's such a specific concern that you.
Speaker 2: Like, we'd like to talk to you about the media.
Wrap it up on that apple pie.
Speaker 11: But I'm not making the dessert appreciate it. That's fine,
don't don't need to. I here's what I'm doing every week.
I'm discussing the media.
Speaker 2: Hey, good news. I have a show. I have a show.
You can listen to it. You can listen to.
Speaker 11: It if you're curious about But I've been to some
of these places. I've sat in these houses in Austin
with these tech people, and I know what they want,
and I know what they want me to go out
and cheerlead for and say, well, it's actually a great
idea and there's probably a lot of money in it. Huh,
there's probably a lot of money, and I just can't
do it. It's not because I'm some great moral per
I just I wouldn't be good at it.
Speaker 3: I'd be so have you and you you never had
any comments like that, like from many like tech people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Johnny, I told you I'm Tim fall Hat. You're
close though, like you, we're not crazy far from Tim
Dillon with you now, we're crazy far from like no,
but you could get that.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's it's a few rungs higher.
Speaker 2: But I love him. He's the best at it, and
he's much better at disseminating information. Why I fucking sledgehammer everything.
I have no desire to sugarcoat it, and my my
whole thing is blunt force trauma comedy. That's what I do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they would know that you would never be an
effect ever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure there's been times they're like, what about
this tripley? They're like, oh, he's too wild. And that's
why I got excommunicated from the industry very early, because
I don't want to play your fucking game. So when
I got a deal from Comedy Central, I fucked myself
in the ass because I fired the porn star without asking.
Speaker 3: You fired it?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: So there was this girl named Monica Monique Alexander. She
was on the show and I'm not gonna what, No
hot white girl, a white girl named Monique Sacramento, a
white Monique. And let's just say, because I'm not bringing
up anybody else's ship there, she was not showing up
all the time.
Speaker 1: I got it.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, what show though, the Naughty Show?
Speaker 3: And what was can you explain what that was? Again?
Speaker 2: Like the four is it? Was it a podcast or
a live naughty show? So the Naughty Show was kind
of So what happened was Greg Giraldo wanted to do
a dirty scotch show. It didn't God, he was fine.
And then a couple of years later, I was doing
the Vivid Video comedy tour and they stopped it. I'm like,
this is my crowd. I'm gonna start my own show,
call it the Naughty Show. Start going doing well, and
literally this is why I knew I was done. Comedy
Center says, we love the show. We hate Sam. You
know why because I fired the porn star. I didn't
run it by them.
Speaker 3: What what I don't understand? But you got to explain
what was she doing? Like what was the format of
the show.
Speaker 2: She was a host and she a people. It's just people.
We were running crazy as sketches.
Speaker 3: And she was a she did comedy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well she was going to and then we never
got to it because whatever happened there, she's she's got
only fans. Sometimes it's here, she's on night panther comedy. No,
the only there were a couple comedians out the porn
stars at comedic timing. Uh, Dana d Arman had it.
Speaker 3: Oh, I remember her.
Speaker 2: She was hot, but she she was the porn star
in the the the amazing racist and Roddy Roddy Piper
video that made it onto TMZ. I remember that. So
it was huge.
Speaker 3: So and and what you think that they didn't like that?
You didn't have a woman to balance it.
Speaker 2: So I fired her and got somebody else without asking
them because I didn't know how tell.
Speaker 3: But I thought they weren't involved. They were involved.
Speaker 2: Well, it was this is so what Comedy Central doing.
This begins the death rattle of Comedy Central, which was,
we're gonna give you five grand and you're gonna run
a pitch pilot live show. So Johnny, hand to God, Okay,
hand to God, I do this thing where it's the
first time, dude, this is how bad the idea was.
It was the first time I'd ever sold they'd ever
sold out this little theater for the pitch pilot and
what they've done because Danae Dana was set designing it.
She's going into her cash set designing it. They invite
everybody they want to do shows with to watch. You go,
this is how you do it, right, I mean, this
is before they all blew up. I'm not gonna say
the name of the comments that who you want in
your audience?
Speaker 3: I like for that show.
Speaker 2: They come to the show, dude, hand to god. My
manager goes, blah, blah blah, hasn't left his house for
a week because he doesn't think he can do something
funnier than what you did. Really, and then I'm not
gonna say who they are went on to do a
huge fucking show. They literally so, I'm not to do
this because I didn't want to getting the comic Wars.
So anyways, you gonna you're gonna very weird. My man says,
this was what fifteen years ago. The manager drops me,
and then suddenly I'm doing a show and this comedy
female comic comes up and goes, hey, I have to
do a fucking Can I do a set? Because Comedy
Central is doing a dirty sketch show and the gut
the client was my manager's client, so he dropped me.
So then no, because he was like, he's doing that. Yeah, yeah,
So I get dropped. So then the next one is
Nicky Glazer's version, and that gets on television, which is
the beginning of this. And I love Nicky Glaizer hater,
I'm detached from At that.
Speaker 3: Point, you think it had to be a woman to
do that well for.
Speaker 2: For Comedy Central at that time, it had to be
a female. And let's face it, crowds are cool with
women talking dirty because the women find it empowering and
the men think it's phone sets just call her daddy
thing man, and it's very weird. It's very weird because
women will get off stage and complain about the energy
that they get from guys and it's like, but.
Speaker 3: The girl you fired, was she on the pitch the
pitch pilot?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because she wasn't showing up.
Speaker 1: Got it?
Speaker 3: And they needed that female presence.
Speaker 2: On I needed it because they want a sex spot
to bring people in.
Speaker 1: Got it?
Speaker 3: Okay, damn that that's a drag dude, How did you
deal with that? Were you like pissed for a long time.
Speaker 2: No. I mean, like, Johnny, I'm telling you this. I'm
telling you this. I got cut from my eighth grade
basketball team, and hand to gud, I realized, nobody gets
me back then you're telling you, bro, I didn't get
your basketball game. Nobody gets me.
Speaker 3: What was your game back then? What was your basketball game?
Speaker 2: I was defense and great passing, dude, And I just
didn't make the team.
Speaker 3: And I was like face guarding people.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm picking you up full fucking court, dude. Dude.
Speaker 1: They hated it.
Speaker 3: So that's interesting.
Speaker 2: So what was what? What was that going into on that?
Speaker 3: How did we get into that?
Speaker 2: Oh? So basically at the end is that I I
have I was built for COVID. When everything went down,
we just kept trucking because I have been since day
one on the outside of this whole thing. And you know,
I was watching Shane Gillis, It's gonna be a little
inside into my heart. I was watching Shane Gillis ro
Starry Shafir at the UH at the skankfest.
Speaker 3: Just on a potter or was it a roast?
Speaker 2: It was a roast, and he was like, give it
up for Ardis Shafiri's fifties Edgy and he's not selling tickets.
I'm like, right, and dude, I love I love Shane Gills,
but it's like this is all I know. Like, I
promise you this. I do not try to write Edgie jokes.
That's my sense of humor, you know. And if you
watch my new YouTube channel, yeah well I mean, dude,
I mean I watch you know Alie and he's got
in four weeks, he's got five million views. I have
two days. I'm at seven thousand people. But the fucking
comments they get, dude, they just don't show it.
Speaker 3: Dude, I see it every video. It doesn't get shown
to anybody who's not subscribed. Yeah, I think we should
start buying ads. We should try to work that out
so that you can buy it.
Speaker 2: I'll buy all the ads, Johnny, even though I'm going
to get be aft by taxes. Johnny, Dude, I'm about
to get aft aft. It might be they're going to
light me up.
Speaker 3: You're already late.
Speaker 2: And all I'm saying is I might become homeless. It's
just an easier life, dude. I got a homeless guy
that sleeps in a van in front of my car,
and we just got a new fucking mailman who's a
shredded black guy that wears short shorts and a tank top. Okay,
and he's afraid of our dogs and our dog is
a tiny little pug.
Speaker 3: What's the mail man gotta do with you being here?
Speaker 2: Because that gay guy is in heaven, Rabel, because he's
got a homo erotic mailman walking by him all the time.
Speaker 3: You think he's just looking in that window, he's gonna be.
Speaker 2: Talking, dude, he's gonna be slinging ship. And then it's like,
don't come a rocking when this fucking van bea he's
a nice guy. I just like did not turn my
block into a gay block party. You know why?
Speaker 3: They started like really like at Vonn's. Now, if they
give you, they have to ask you if you've already
paid for a plastic bag before they'll give it to you,
because homeless people shit in them, and they just take
like millions of them to shit in because they're apparently
like the best ones because they're so thick in color.
Speaker 2: We got dogshit with it. Yeah, Johnny, here's the whole thing.
How come this? If these LA riders really want to
make a difference, why don't they invade a gay pride parade.
Wouldn't that be the ultimate syop on psyops?
Speaker 3: I would love to see that.
Speaker 2: You just have a bunch of fuck ing Okay, guys
just trying to suck up. I love a Latin boy.
Oh my god, trying to fight them back by Did.
Speaker 3: You speak Spanish to me? Oh my god? But isn't
that You're going back to Tim Dillan briefly? That isn't
that interesting? Interesting that there's some kind of I don't know,
literati or something in Austin that of like you know
what tech moguls or something that are like bringing people
into you know, summoning them to kind of program them
or Yeah, that's strange right in Austin. You would Austin
like that's kind of an off the beat.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean they wanted San Francisco and they drew
they fucking drove it into the ground.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, no, good point, Johnny, I really got I'm
almost done. Two more stories.
Speaker 2: I'm dude, I'm sick. You do you tell me? No?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Two more? We're done? Okay?
Speaker 3: Uh did you see that? Okay, there's an accusation that
a Chinese national couple smuggled in a potential crop killing fungus.
And there's this new word I'd never seen before, called
agro terrorism is what they're calling it. This is more
China fear CCP fear. This was from the New York Post.
Speaker 2: Well, if you listen to John Cullin, Obama did the
exact same thing to China. What's that brought a buy
a weapon in and destroyed all the chickens.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: A Chinese national couple was hit with criminal charges Tuesday
for allegedly smuggling a dangerous fungus into the United States
capable of destroying crops and reasoning humans and livestock.
Speaker 2: Junyoglu thirty four.
Speaker 3: Was caught by the Border Patrol after after attempting to
smuggle in Fusarium gramminarium, a biological pathogen considered a potential
agro terrorism weapon. Lou initially made false statements about his
visit to the US and his knowledge of the pathogen,
before admitting the law enforcement that he was bringing the
fungus to his girlfriend, who works in the University of
Michigan lab. She's her name is yu qing Jian. According
to authorities, so claim and the Chinese government is funding
her work there, so curious, yeah, curious set they're all spies, yeah,
all dude, The apparently the university sentiment is fully infiltrated
by Chinese spies.
Speaker 2: Chinese Saudis.
Speaker 3: By the way, should watch that Borman escape. I sent
you a video about a new theory about how Martin
Borman might have escaped, like specifically by airplane, because there
was this order that went out right before Hitler allegedly
off himself.
Speaker 2: But if Venezuela said or Argentina put out documents that
said he survived.
Speaker 3: It wasn't Hitler though it was anyway that it wasn't
Hitler it was, but it was. But yeah, so this
document was like on this day, which is right right
after Hitler beefed it apparently, so someone would have had
to have known when he was going to die or
that he was going to leave.
Speaker 2: At that point.
Speaker 3: They arranged for high profile couriers like VIP couriers passing
a message to have these special planes ready for them
with extra fuel reserves and everything, and and there was
a whole plan to get them to these planes on
the day like the day that Hitler died, but nobody
knew that he was going to die on that day
or anything.
Speaker 2: And so it's as the watch is one of my
favorite subjects.
Speaker 3: It's very interesting. And the thought is that maybe Borman
murdered Hitler on that day, that's what, because he couldn't
leave until Hitler either beefed it or tried to flee. Yeah,
like either Hitler had to leave or die for Borman
to die because Hitler wouldn't let like you know, he
was like obliged.
Speaker 2: Maybe Hitler sucked off Borman, it could be, but then
told his boy ass the day portnoy thing.
Speaker 3: We did that on TF face.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm tired. I'm sorry, guys.
Speaker 3: Oh no, old last thing. Just played this video and
then we're done. It's just a very It's like thirty
seconds this thing. I'm sure you saw it already, but
it's just showing you how so. I've always said that
people on TV news are retarded. They're just the dumbest people.
And you had this did you see this on ABC seven?
Here and large listen to what this idiot says right here,
Just the dumbest thing you'll ever hear. Seventeen seconds.
Speaker 12: Here you go, large group of people. It could turn
very volatile. If you move law enforcement in there and
the wrong way and turn what is just a bunch
of people having fun watching cars burn into a massive
confrontation and altercation between officers.
Speaker 2: Dude, that is the greatest, the dumbest thing. Oh god,
what an idiot. Just a bunch of people having fun
watching cars. Just good old folks, dude, They're just good
old folks. Watch the cars burned away. Just a bunch
of people. Don't take them serious. I love you, guys.
I am so sick and I have a crazy in
fucking five days, So I love you guys. I gotta go.
I love you, Johnny.
Speaker 1: The word
Speaker 2: Patrick Ewing Nice