Speaker 1: In the year two thousand and seven fourteen, a new
squad of operatives was chosen by the College of Illusion.
These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at
every opportunity. Today, still working together because really, who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can hire
the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: Felsoni, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag.
Speaker 4: And Jesse Wicks as Bill Cuilance, Nico Rodriguez as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing Tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 4: When last we left our heroes, Yeah, they had returned
for season nine and they went back to the Forsaken City.
They met with a couple people, one first person named
twitdl Dong, who was able to create some portals. They
didn't want to use the portals too much, though, because
of fear of wild magic events, so they shadow stepped
instead back to the Fami Granite Grove, where they picked
up their carts and then took the carts back to
the first sacn City, which is a three day trip.
During that Ooag came across some little rascals fighting in
a river and tricked them into leaving their item of anger,
the thing that had triggered the item of interest. Yeah,
the item of interest with them of their ire talk
them into leaving that and running away. Wish they did.
And then he gifted that to Bill, who put on
the cursed item, and then they made it back to
the Forsaken City. And they now have plans to go
to the Conjuration Nation to maybe figure out what's going
on there and collect that fourth Infinite Scroll. Possibly. She's
not quite sure what their plans are. They know that
there's a war kind of brewing over there, lots and
lots of army, but also the nation itself is pretty
pleased with their with the Conjurors, so a bit different
than what they're accustomed to.
Speaker 3: So yeah, imagine we'll probably just do like we did
with the Evocation Nation. Just get there, cause a bunch
of chaos, blame it on the necromancers, and move along.
Speaker 2: I love this plan.
Speaker 5: I'm excited to have one of them.
Speaker 4: Let's do it.
Speaker 5: It's possible, be really really really really really bad at faking.
Speaker 4: It's possible, all right.
Speaker 3: And they searched for socks.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, they did turn in their quest to Baron
Jan Kaihausen. They turned in that request, but then made
a deal with him to keep his slug shot for
a little bit longer in exchange for six pairs of
socks made of different materials.
Speaker 3: Yes, paid off my bill for skin tag removals.
Speaker 5: We got to the evocation nation and Eddie and that
lady just pretended to be evokers at each other. It was.
Speaker 4: Skin Cape, skin Cape.
Speaker 5: You so many fun titles that you there were so
many good titles. Okay, that was an easy episode.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what are you?
Speaker 5: Guys?
Speaker 4: Are back in Dean smelting his office? Was there anything
else you guys wanted to do before you move on
to your next quest?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I think we can worry about
getting boats when we get there. We are rich.
Speaker 3: It's split the gold with a deer or whatever messaging
scrolls with a Dean.
Speaker 5: M I'm going to go find the lunch lady and
tell her the absence makes the heart grow fonder, and
I've decided to forgive her.
Speaker 4: Get ready for a whole lot of note. She flings
mashed potatoes at you, like launches them at.
Speaker 5: You after they hit me, I'm gonna like them off
and you come into jokes on you. I like mashed potatoes.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, let's make a charisma roll. Let's see
how well that does. Let's bring some romance into season nine, Eddie,
I thought you learned that.
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 6: I learned the spell that's message. I think I was
gonna learn message, but I had a bad role. So
I got message the Dean. It's very specific, but still
because the scroll was specific to the Dean and it
was like if I got a ten up. I think
I could have learned just the generic message. But because
it was the scroll and it didn't roll good enough,
I think I just learned to message the Dean.
Speaker 3: So cool.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, so you've got message the Dean. Bill you successfully.
You know she's not super hot and bothered, but after
you left, she did cast a second glance.
Speaker 3: You're away with a little cheating horror.
Speaker 5: Yeah she did. I made the best best lift and separate.
Speaker 4: So there's this trying, this love trying.
Speaker 3: He flashed your new bangle with the lunch lady.
Speaker 4: All right, cool, all right, you guys aren't doing anything else.
So you get back to Dean's Smelting's office and uh
Twittledng is there. He's the one who has to open
up the portal to take you to his place of power.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, towt dong, We're to go outside, though, we've
got to bring the wagons through. Yep.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Sounded like you had something in your throat for
a minute. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a little drink, some orange juice. You know,
it gets flemmy sometimes it makes it so much deeper
when you're trying to talk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, more so do that. It's great for washing down
fish sticks and waffles.
Speaker 4: Though in it I add someone was lovely.
Speaker 3: Anyway, where huice and syrup.
Speaker 6: We got a week's worth of hot pockets, I think, Uh,
I think we're ready to hit the goorbian Bagwe.
Speaker 4: Wonderful. Let's do it all right, So you guys slide
down the slide out of the Dean's office, uh, to
where the carts are.
Speaker 2: Ye.
Speaker 5: I should just stuck all the way down streak of
mashed potatoes and I go before.
Speaker 2: You.
Speaker 3: I liked it.
Speaker 4: The second episode with the scratching noise of antlers across
metal because it's not a plastic slide, right, that doesn't
know that a metal slide. He gets real hot in
the summer.
Speaker 5: It's inside, but they've actually just got magnifying glasses from
the window just to make sure to heat it up.
Bill's character.
Speaker 6: Window panes actually swivel to make sure the sun's always
directly onto the slide.
Speaker 3: Shape change into something with short pants, top tier engineering,
just to make life awful.
Speaker 5: First day it opened and they just they built it
with dents already in it for some reason.
Speaker 4: Okay, you guys, exits a slide professionally as always, and
you're right next to your carts and uh twitdled Dong's like,
all right, let's go ahead and get this party started.
And he starts doing you know, the spell to open
up the portal and it gets it all, you know,
the doctor strange hand movement, you know, spitting the one
hand and holding the other up. Yep, there you go,
and then.
Speaker 2: The record scratching thing like DJ.
Speaker 4: And it opens up the portal and he says, all right,
well you guys have fun. Hep you go, oh you're
not coming with I have to stay here.
Speaker 2: Hey real quick, how close is your place of power
to crossing.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's probably three day travel. Which way I think
you need to go. That's the wrong country, congraturation, You've
got to go pretty much northeast.
Speaker 2: Great, appreciate your help.
Speaker 4: Yep, have fun before we go.
Speaker 3: Shouldn't you ask him about that dragon comment?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that effort said there was a dragon?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, leopard did say there was a dragon. Do
you know about that?
Speaker 2: Dean?
Speaker 4: Dean's like, ah, yeah, there's just rumors of a dragon
there that holds conclave is what they call it, with
a group of might be warlocks.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's so good to know.
Speaker 4: We none of our spies have been able to confirm it.
But if you do catch wind of it, probably trying
to stay away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that seems like the move.
Speaker 6: Yeah, all right, Off we go to the dragon infested swamp.
Speaker 3: Yes, all right.
Speaker 4: Oh, the dragon's name is anthro Knoxis.
Speaker 3: It's very good to know. All right, when's his birthday?
Speaker 5: Do I know? Do I know any legends of anthro noxist.
Speaker 4: Mar Yeah, make a charisma check and the scene, dude,
Yeah you know the legend? Yeah, Oh, Pilsner Elmer.
Speaker 5: Wren, Wren girl, turk so do I I know from
legend that that's a dragon that was associated with Warloxling.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like yeah, like almost two thousand years ago though.
Speaker 5: Uh so funny story. You remember how we just met
that guy that was like a couple thousand years old?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh no the other one.
Speaker 2: Oh the.
Speaker 4: Magnus Magnus twitteredun.
Speaker 5: No, not what who.
Speaker 6: You have to be more specific? It's my point, the
guy who's a couple thousand years old.
Speaker 4: You just met a whole bunch of first people they
don't count.
Speaker 3: Does seem like we know a lot of unusual individuals.
Speaker 5: Listen, my point being is a through anoxis the everyday
s you know what? Never mind, you don't need to
know about the dragon. We'll find out when we get there.
I'm sure you'll get along great. You probably card him,
that's not He probably gives you your spells.
Speaker 2: I'm I don't think spells from a dragon. I give
him from a spell walk which when I'm asleep.
Speaker 5: Whispers to me when I'm asleep. Yeah, doesn't sound Dragony.
Speaker 4: Twittle Don says, are he always like this? Dean Smelting says.
Speaker 5: How are you?
Speaker 4: They can read? You're talking out loud.
Speaker 3: Why are all these people here where all these curse items?
Bill is just now paranoid for everything, constantly paranoid, confused.
Speaker 5: Okay, sounds like a macre up.
Speaker 4: All right, through the portal you go, you guys stepped
through the portals driving the cart.
Speaker 5: I'm taking my cart and very specifically looking down my
nose at everyone up my way. Mmm.
Speaker 3: I'm in the cart keeping the egg warm in the tub. Okay.
Speaker 4: And you can feel the egg feels like it's really
thinned that shell, Like you're you're down to like the
core of that that egg.
Speaker 7: I thought core a couple dozen later, Second ever Lasting
cob Stumper, it's gonna hatch into a gum.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And and really about about the size it, you're it's
it's way smaller than what it was at this point
when you originally found it. It's it's decreasing size every
single time. And uh, it's now, you know, like one
of those giant medicine balls that they had in gym class,
like truck it. You know, it is a huge one
of those like still taller than a person, but but cool,
but it's really decreased the size.
Speaker 2: Cool.
Speaker 4: All right, Well, you guys walk through this portal, can
you come out into this big open space. There are
vats and barrels and crates all strewn about you. There's
little dim lights, little sconces on far off walls. You
can't see the lights directly, it's just giving off an
indirect glow into this this room. It really looks kind
of like a warehouse. And you've got these these huge
vats that are spaced in different places, making like gurgling
noises like blog boog, but you're they're too tall for
you to see what's in them. There are ladders that
climb up the sides from them that you can see
the spot that you walked in. You do see a
path that you can kind of navigate the carts out
through about really only one path that you can bring
the cart, says is wide enough for you to fit
them through at this point. And you don't see anyone
in here working right now, even though it's still it's
middle of the afternoon, as we'll say, when you guys
got back to town and were able to do all
this stuff. So it's middle of the afternoon, but must
be holiday or workday or something, because there's no employees
working right now in the distance besides the vats just
making glug glug noises. Occasionally a little clockson noise will
go off and like a little siren like right, and
then stop for a little bit, and then different part
of the warehouse you hear a different one doing that.
And occasionally you see a light almost like a lighthouse,
like a spinning light kind of flashing throughout different spots.
But again you can't really see where it's coming from,
but the lighthouse light seems to appears to be moving
around the warehouse area that you're in.
Speaker 2: Well, there's only the one path for the carts here,
so let's head that way. Yeah, keep an eye out.
I don't know what we got going on here.
Speaker 3: It's like Walka's candy shop.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you guys start moving the path. Who's cart's
going first? I'll go first, Bill's cart, all right, So
he starts going first. Bill. As you lead your horse
and cart through this tight area, you do a pretty
good job navigating the row right and not you know,
you're not back in your forklift in anything. Right, You're
doing a great job navigating the hallway here. But just
as you come up to one of these like big
vats that you're about to pass. You see this square
or rectangular wooden entity with two fat pig like legs.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: This thing's a little taller, a little taller than you
sitting on your wagon, you know, on the driver's seat.
So it's not huge. We'd probably say nine feet tall
totally right, And it's got a little roof on top
of it, and it steps out into the hallway and
it's got a spinny light that's on the top of
the roof that's going around and it looks just beat up.
Speaker 2: Bro.
Speaker 4: The doors are all chipped, the wood is all kind
of splintered and broken, and it stops and looks at you. Well,
it doesn't really have eyeballs, but it's windows have two
curtains that are you know how sometimes people tie curtains off,
you know at the center and like leave them instead
of Yeah, so it's kind of curtain tied off in
the middle of the eye. And the two curtains flash
their eyes at you from the windows and see you,
and it says it's mouth. The front door opens up
on the shack and you see a wide maw inside
where the door you know it's and teeth in their
sideways though, right because the door it's the doors. The
teeth are sideways. And it says, it shoots something at
your cart and we're going to see if and that
is a nine to hit. So it shoots it's b
ball attack and this ball hits your cart direct hit
on your cart and explodes with bees why and the
bees are going to attack you one point of damage
the D six for damage. They did one point of
damage and you guys are in combat with a shock attack.
But yeah, yes, bitch.
Speaker 5: Mm hmmm, I'm gonna turn it. I'm gonna look it
straight in its eyes with my eyes. I'm gonna get.
Speaker 2: Straight in the laser.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna laser be in this house. What's happening here?
What am I rolling for an attack? Is that dexterity?
Yeah that's a six?
Speaker 4: Oh no, all right, so that's a failure. We are
gonna do roll roll one D six and on a
one or a two, you're going to hit one of
those vats because I said, you're right next to the vats.
Speaker 2: Three.
Speaker 4: Oh, you're like all right, So you fire it and
it goes wide and goes up towards the roof and
towards the ceiling of this warehouse and lasers are light
across it, but no damage is done to the house.
Speaker 2: Or do you you're good?
Speaker 5: Or the bet?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 6: Can I see it from from my Okay, I'm gonna
magic missile it.
Speaker 4: Magic missile. Yeah, it's it's just a shack with pig
legs and two arms that are like cannons and curtain eyeballs,
and a hat with a little hat is the roof,
and then a lighthouse on top of it.
Speaker 6: So I'm gonna forget magic missile and soon roll it again. Okay,
it's a six is okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Forgetting the spell? You forget it critical, I guess do
the same thing. Dexter did. Roll of D six and
A one or two hits the VAT.
Speaker 2: That's one.
Speaker 4: Roll damage on the VAT.
Speaker 2: Can I.
Speaker 4: Five five points is enough to do it? So the
VAT cracks, splits down a side. M it's not chemical.
Speaker 3: I was wondering about that.
Speaker 5: I demand you give another No.
Speaker 4: You guys started to see this off white gooey stuff
starts seeking out of the side of it and turn
it's man, I wonder we're glue or glue. Yeah, depends
how far we are in the process.
Speaker 3: That's fair. Okay, So I will I'm trying to think
of what form I was in babysitting the egg while
I was inside, probably wals.
Speaker 4: Okay, so.
Speaker 3: I'll just barrel out the side of the car and
uh roll at it to try to intimidate it.
Speaker 5: Okay, Walrus is gonna go mayonnaise wrestle that house.
Speaker 4: Eight all right, so uh you you intimidate it, but
you're not gonna scare it away.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 4: You're gonna it's pretty much a taunt for an eight,
like it's going to redirect his attention away from Bill
toward you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you're makes sense.
Speaker 4: I think you're taunting the house. It reminds me the
whole the whole gazebo skit.
Speaker 2: Magic missile darkness.
Speaker 4: Okay, well it's it's curtain. So it's gonna gonna shoot
two bee balls at b read. The first one misses
and the second one hits. So the first one shoots
wide and goes over your head, over the cart just
way back and hit bees hit something and start buzzing,
and then the other one hits you. Oh, your armor
is stupid as that for six points of damage. That's
the bees just keep stinging your wall Wolver's hide it tickles.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I stop that if he just.
Speaker 4: Lips and it's gonna step out further and block your
path to make sure none of the cards can go
back and back to Bill.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna sing oga song about how graceful of a
wall Risty is.
Speaker 3: Please tell me you have lyrics to that.
Speaker 4: Beautiful blubbery bitch, you beautiful blobbery.
Speaker 8: B So I have to roll for the uh it's
gonna be. I'm gonna double up.
Speaker 5: On the the damage.
Speaker 2: So let's help.
Speaker 5: I don't roll poorly here, Christmas h ten it's a
success you I was gonna say, and then heal, but
I you don't need to be here. It's like you
just have the two.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think I can do it without hitting Bill.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna I'm gonna cast lightning bowlt what okay wait, yeah,
there's we.
Speaker 2: Feel like everyone's on break right. Yeah, it's probably safe.
Speaker 6: Well that's a set, okay, So I am going to
take minus one on going all right because I feel
like that's a good spell.
Speaker 2: And that's two the six. Uh.
Speaker 6: So we didn't discuss it, but I just put it.
I figured same damage as fireball.
Speaker 4: Yeah yep. Ten, holy shit, nice yeah, great job. That
really fucked it up. Chunks of house go flying off everywhere,
and the lighthouse, the light on the lighthouse, you did
it pops, The glass pops and the light goes out.
Speaker 2: And uh yeah, that's that's my turn. Take that walk
in shack get weirdo.
Speaker 3: Ye all right, someone who uh do a little walls
shovel straight at him and attack. Okay, eleven plus one
for strinth twelve, that hits.
Speaker 2: So I've got the.
Speaker 4: Two D what is it, two D sixty.
Speaker 3: Six, So that's eight from there and eight from mine,
so sixteen.
Speaker 2: Yep. Okay.
Speaker 4: So it does this last thing called a slam dunk,
and it goes at uag to do it, and that
is a critical failure. So it launches itself at you
with its giant maw and it tries to just eat
you old and as it falls forward, it gets caught
up and you can see that the crack in the
in the vat behind it has oozed the stuff out
and stuck to its back and it cannot move forward
and it just dies.
Speaker 2: That was my plan all along.
Speaker 4: Yeah, our heroes will return after these messages. Hey, there
it's neat go again. If you'd like to skip the
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www dot afools quest dot com. And now that the
commercials are out of the way, it's time to dive
back into the foolishness. You have a shed that you
need to move out of the.
Speaker 3: Way, Yeah, and a lot of glue.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Put some of that on the bottom of the wagon
so that we can forward them when we hit the box.
Speaker 3: I wonder if it's flammable.
Speaker 4: Who was not in the path, It's just that it's
holding the shed in the.
Speaker 2: Past right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you could wheel through the path at this point.
But I mean he's gloving out, So you guys need
to come up some kind of plan.
Speaker 2: I guess, I guess blink on the shed.
Speaker 3: I'll just you know, just start rending bits and pieces
of the shed apart and throwing it into the glue
things and just stop up the whole of it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'll just go smack it a couple of
times with the slugshot all right.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, the blasted backwards. All right, So you guys
go to town just making the whole ruckus.
Speaker 2: I just made it thunder anyway.
Speaker 3: So yeah, and.
Speaker 4: You uh successfully get that out of the way, and
anything you guys want to do before you continue on
or just move.
Speaker 3: Forward, probably just come out of wall. Respond.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's shack creature.
Speaker 2: Have I seen anything like that ever? Okay? Weird uh
did called Howard?
Speaker 4: Hey you got when he cast a lightning bowl on it?
He fried the Atlanta's.
Speaker 2: Is there any more of those spinning lighthouse.
Speaker 4: Hea lights from where you're seeing? So the vats and everything,
the crates, they're all tall, right, and so it's hard
to see. You'd have to climb up one of those
ladders on one of the vats and look around or
fly up. I guess you know you have to do
something to get above the walls you're in right now.
Speaker 2: Let's keep on going.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say I'm kind of hesitant to go bird.
I don't have a deer right here with a leash.
Speaker 6: Yeah, climb up the ladder there and see if you
can see another any of those lights in our pathway.
Speaker 3: I'll show me up one of the ladders.
Speaker 4: Okay, you shimme up one of the ladders. Take a
look around. You see about a half dozen of those lights.
But you are in a huge warehouse. Imagine. I mean
we're talking Indiana Jones when they take it, you know, row.
Speaker 2: After row after row.
Speaker 4: So you can kind of see this. This path that
you're on, it connects with a couple other paths, and
you can definitely make your way around on the on
the road here. There's some distance between you and the
other shacks, but there are definitely other shacks wandering about.
Speaker 3: There's plenty of them around. We'll just have to be
careful not to get in their path.
Speaker 2: Cappy, you you see a way out of this place
from up there. Pretty much.
Speaker 3: We can follow this path for a while.
Speaker 4: If you want to make a wisdom check to see
if you can get a direct route, I'll let you
do that. Otherwise, we're going to make rolls at each
intersection eight and eight. So an eight is going to
that's a that's a partial success. Yeah, So we'll say
you do find the route, but it passes directly in
the path of two of those shocks. That's a good compromise.
Speaker 3: That sounds sounds legit. Yeah, I've got us a path,
but it's gonna run us into two of those things.
Speaker 2: Do you think you could outrun two of those things
and then get back to us.
Speaker 3: I think I might be able to distract them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just lead them off and Bill and I can
hurry on through their space and they can catch up
with us.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I will go diesel diesels, okay, and run
down there.
Speaker 4: All right, So you take off running and it's a
good run, all right, they can they can start following
after you. Even Yeah, there's there's a ways right, big
huge warehouse, So you got plenty of time. So you
take off running. You know the path from what you've seen.
You get down to where these two shacks are just
kind of standing there, you know, blinking at each other
and saying and they're just having a conversation around a
water cooler. And eventually one of them sees you and
they're like and so they both turn and they're gonna
start this off by launching two rounds each of bee
ball at So so the first one misses you and
the bees go flying everywhere, but the second one hits
you with both the attacks, and that is eleven points
of damage.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have the bees.
Speaker 3: It's like still on me, and I'll run right to them. Okay,
like start starting in and out from between their pig legs. Okay,
they start trying to stomp on you, but I imagine
they're not very dexterous.
Speaker 4: They're not, they're not. Yeah, So that is that the
move you're gonna use for this one. Okay, yeah, Oh,
make sure for your wild chape. See how many moves
you have?
Speaker 3: Mm hm hmmmm so six seventy nine so that's two
hole plus a D four.
Speaker 4: Three al right, so three moves. So you just burned
one of them, all right. So they're trying to stomp
on you and discombobulate. Yeah, and then one of them
is going to try and slam dunk on you. But
I'm gonna give him a minus one to this attack
because of your thing, and that is a seven. So
he's going to smash you a little bit, but he's
not going to eat you, and that is six points
of damage. So okay, he squishes you, but like there's
no pains.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: So I'll glance and see where they're at we're hurrying on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're coming. They're definitely coming, are you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just gonna keep keeping them too busy.
Speaker 4: So they need to go through this path that you're on.
So you're gonna need to lure them, all right.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I'll lead them off and down one of
the side corridors.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, Yeah, so.
Speaker 3: I'll just shoot over that way trump Larry bird better.
Speaker 4: All right? So you want to taunt them or do
you want to use a move?
Speaker 3: I'll just yeah, I'll burn a move, a full distract, okay,
all right, cool, So I don't want to put it
in the chance.
Speaker 4: Yep, there you go. So you burn your second move
out of three, and they turn and start following, all right, yep,
they start their pig legs yep, and you can hear
another clackson alarm going off, you know later, you know,
down somewhere. But obviously they're not doing it to signal invaders,
so whatever that is, it's got nothing to do with intruders.
But you start to pull them out of the way,
and you too, over there, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Gidyap?
Speaker 4: All right, just.
Speaker 2: As quick as we can. He's he's mooring those guys.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, so let's see if you escape them
then oh.
Speaker 3: Rag, so what would that be defy danger?
Speaker 4: No, I mean they're just gonna they're chasing after you.
They're just gonna launch two more of the beatles.
Speaker 9: Each of them are gonna latch too much balls unless.
Speaker 4: You're gonna use your third move. Both of them are hits.
So let's see how much damage. So nine damage from
the first one and nine damage from the second.
Speaker 3: It's three and three six ship taking eleven total?
Speaker 2: Got it?
Speaker 4: And you do still have potions?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm still pretty good shape.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 9: So uh, I'll try to shake, shimmy, dodge and spin
and uh try to double back. Okay, so you're like
leading them in a circle kind of well, I'm gonna
try to, you know, lead them off somewhere and then
dip off and circle back and rejoin these guys.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, see if you can lose them, then
we'll say dexterity.
Speaker 3: Okay, seven, eight.
Speaker 4: Nine A nine. So I will say you lose one
of them, okay, because that's a partial success, and you
other two. You make it through that part of the thing,
and you're heading right toward the exit. But as you
get there, you realize that the exit, this outer wall
that you found is this giant bay door that you
have to open made of like wood with hinges.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna hop off my wagon and run up and
start trying to open it.
Speaker 4: Okay, there is a combination on there. Mmmm with a riddle,
let's hear it all right. It says, what are the
optimal pieces of toast to put in a toaster? And
it's a toaster and there's like four slots there, and
there's all four different temperatures on it. You know, it's
like ones like you know, low, medium, hot, extra crispy.
So you got those things there, win like a little picture.
And then there's a combination there that's just a one
digit combo to open the door. Combination options are one through.
Speaker 2: Zero zero.
Speaker 4: Zero yeah, zero, all right, punch zero and the door unlocks. Nice,
I'm gonna push it open. Heretic. You start lifting it up. Okay,
So it's got a string. You gotta like lift and
drag it all the way back. So give me a
strength check and then we'll see if oo rag escapes
this last person to.
Speaker 1: Go.
Speaker 2: That's a ten.
Speaker 5: Nice job.
Speaker 4: So you just zip and run it and the door
comes flying back. They're gonna swing on that rope back
to the seat of my way. Hell yeah, you do
rob at the time.
Speaker 3: That it comes curtain sideways around the corner. That's get
a move on. There's some one on my tail.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, that last one is firing and one
last sign at you, and that is an eight to hit.
Speaker 2: Oom.
Speaker 4: That is ten points of damage. I'm gonna went high
on these dice. They don't even have a plus. They
just it's just two D six raw.
Speaker 5: Okay, he's he's running up on this now.
Speaker 4: Uh huh yeah, nice god, you rag.
Speaker 2: Nice dogs.
Speaker 4: Nice god. Because the guy hitting the head with a
giant b wall.
Speaker 2: Nine. Good thing. Beads are squishy. That's a nine.
Speaker 5: So I'm just running out obviously. Healing and doubles, yeah.
Speaker 2: You could have.
Speaker 5: You could have forty eight forty eight. Yeah, because I'm
doubling the healing too.
Speaker 2: I'm good.
Speaker 4: All right, I'm good, And you guys can take the
carts down the ramp.
Speaker 2: Down we go, got it?
Speaker 4: So you guys take the carts down the ramp. Did
anybody close the door?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm gonna hop up because my cart's are back,
So I'll hop up and close that door.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 4: So you close the door, and as you guys are
going down this ramp to escape this warehouse, it rolls
down into some mud. I wish outside and take a
look behind you. You see this enormous manufacturing plant and
just in giant green letters written up on the side
of the building, it says Elmer's glue, Yes.
Speaker 2: Noise. Sorry.
Speaker 5: I was trying to think if there were any funny
letters I could put out, but there on.
Speaker 6: So we've made the wagons squished into some mud. Is
it like like like just water and muck?
Speaker 4: Now it's not. It's not super muggy. You're still going.
The horse is still going to be able to pull up.
That's gonna be real slow going.
Speaker 2: Okay, well it'll work for now. We gotta head north east.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we got a three day journey, all right, So
how are we traveling? Let's paint that picture there.
Speaker 6: I reckon have to walk and pull the horse most
of the time through the mud. You know, we're gonna
try to avoid any swamps. That seemed particularly sad because
we can't replace these horses easily.
Speaker 10: Do you name one of the horses, Yes, obviously car
text drags my card around, right, it makes sense.
Speaker 4: It's car facts, all right, So you guys take the path, yeah.
Speaker 2: Such as it is in a try ahead to crossing alright,
same roles, I assume.
Speaker 4: Yeah, same roles for a perilous drink.
Speaker 2: Hey, I got a knife's latest time?
Speaker 4: You're eleven scout nice? Four? Oh my god, Okay, get
a little lost along the way.
Speaker 3: Makes sense. It's a swamp uh huh, not really a thing.
Speaker 2: But on top of it, we passed that alligator three times.
Speaker 4: We used a portal to get here instead of the
illusion magic instead of the shadow walk. So we all
need you three to roll a wild.
Speaker 3: Magic check had a two three eighteen.
Speaker 4: Roll a D twenty dexter and tell me what you
get eleven eleven not eleven? Well on one, okay, someone's
gonna be disappointed.
Speaker 3: Please tell me he disappears into a mirror somewhere.
Speaker 4: Nope, nope, I need a D three roll to choose
from one of you three. So we'll do one and
two is oh Rag, three and four is Bill five
and six is Eddie. Go ahead and make a D
six roll. Oh rag, hello rag, all of your hair
falls out immediately.
Speaker 3: Oh shit, all of it.
Speaker 4: You're fur ball, right, that's a lot of hair just
falls right off you. Even while you wild shape. You
cannot make hair now. Wow, as it startsarts to grow back,
the hair grows back pink. It will grow this way
for one month. Oh shit, and there's nothing you can
do to change the color.
Speaker 3: I'm down.
Speaker 4: And after one month we need to come back to
what happens next one month.
Speaker 2: So if for a month only be things with scales, if.
Speaker 5: He can't grow hair, then after it starts to grow
and he transforms into things that don't have hair, do
they have the pink hair?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, so yeah, so everything's going to be pink.
Speaker 3: Thames hair, pink Harry.
Speaker 4: Wallrus So he lost all of his hair, and as
it starts to grow back over the next month, when
he does change, he'll be able to he'll be able
to make fur and stuff then, but all of it's pink.
Everything's pink. But as of right now today he's bald.
There's no hair for him view easily again.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, your gorgeous.
Speaker 4: They will close.
Speaker 3: I am a naked and do it bear, I've ever
seen it naked rndus that kind of leaves bird out.
Speaker 5: Huh, why so wrinkly? Aren't you like thirty?
Speaker 3: It's nothing years, it's the mileage.
Speaker 5: The wind that a dometer man.
Speaker 2: Pink bat.
Speaker 4: All right, and then as for the naturally wrinkly, as
for Bill's check, you guys go off the beaten path.
Speaker 5: So we distracted by the naked rag.
Speaker 3: Stop looking at me like that.
Speaker 4: Nope, o rag. While you're out scouting, you do see
another group. But these ones are just this pack of
weird looking wolf creatures. They don't look like normal wolves
by any means. They're just pack of creatures that are
wolf like in shape, but their heads are more like
pig snouts, like war hoog faces, but they've got wolf
paws and they've got like a wolf snout.
Speaker 2: Weird.
Speaker 3: How many are there, you said, a pack? Yeah, there's
six six. Yeah, I'll double back.
Speaker 2: To the carts.
Speaker 3: Hey, guys, we got some critters up here. They look
really weird. You should talk, I mean, weirder than me.
Speaker 2: At least prepared. Right, let me see here.
Speaker 3: While he's thinking about it, I'll just start playing with
the weird folds in my skin.
Speaker 2: Now that change my prepared spells, real quick line.
Speaker 3: I'll play with it if I want.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're in your place of power. If yeah, they're
not coming your direction. Really, you just have to get
around them. But then you're going off the trail and
that's water, so it's difficulty.
Speaker 3: Have you ever heard of something like this? There's like
a hybrid of a pig and a wolf.
Speaker 5: Can I roll or check to see if I would
have heard or something like that? Yep, okay ten.
Speaker 4: Yeah, these would be more of a conjured beast.
Speaker 5: I think they're made up like by you know, a wizard.
Speaker 2: Or a warlock.
Speaker 4: Addie what it means?
Speaker 3: For the record, who wreck doesn't think you're a warlock?
He just plays along the build?
Speaker 6: All right, I think I'm good. Let me Actually we
should discuss big Beast's hand, which I changed the name
of to big ass hand, all right hand hand. Yeah,
it gets a big ass hand. But so like the
spell has several uses. You can punch people with it,
INDIANDIA does fourty eight, so that'd be probably what like
a D eight Yeah.
Speaker 8: Or.
Speaker 2: Push them, which is a contested strength.
Speaker 4: Check which I would say would be your intelligence versus
their strength.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 6: Grasping hand is just to hold them the same kind
of deal. Interposing is just a block line of side
or whatever gets in the way. Yeah, those are the
things that can do. So what do we say? D
eight for the damage or intelligence versus strength?
Speaker 2: First? Cool?
Speaker 4: So do you guys want to fight these or figure
out a way around them?
Speaker 2: M hmm? How many were there?
Speaker 3: Six?
Speaker 2: Six? Six? We've also got fireball. M hmm.
Speaker 5: I could sing you a song.
Speaker 2: You could see me a song. Who play the one?
I like? That's nuts, that's fireball?
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, so you guys good the one I like,
make your way up toward them, points out the way
as you get closer, they're.
Speaker 3: Right over there.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna yeah, I haven't done the TV that this season, Mike. Yeah,
So I'm gonna play Eddie the song he likes. That's
the smooth Jazz one.
Speaker 3: Figure that out.
Speaker 5: Fuck her she stowing that pink panther. That's a twelve.
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 4: So you guys, all right, So you guys get out
of the carts, You take the carts up toward them.
Speaker 2: You get out of the carts and sneak up, all.
Speaker 4: Right, So you get out of the carts, you sneak up,
and then Bill starts playing music, all.
Speaker 2: Right, So second, when they look, that's what I'm gonna.
Speaker 4: They look and they all start charging towards you. But
you cast the fire battle, and let's see if you hit.
Speaker 6: Them, all right, that's a ten for the cast.
Speaker 4: Ten hits? How much damage?
Speaker 2: Two D six?
Speaker 5: Is that normal?
Speaker 4: Eight plus his bone plus?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the.
Speaker 6: Bonus plus seven? So fifteen, Tony, it wasn't me. They
erupt into a fiery inferno. Swamp gases help ignite it
and make it worse. A giant flame spouts up into
the sky as these.
Speaker 4: Half war hog half wolf creatures all let out a
terrible hour thing screech below into the night, and they
all lay down, and you guys, smell wolf pork.
Speaker 2: Yes, wolf pork is the best kind of pork.
Speaker 5: I love bacon Feiffer, what.
Speaker 3: Bacon nine.
Speaker 2: Bacon nines? Stop it?
Speaker 5: You did?
Speaker 4: And here's a good place to take a break.
Speaker 11: This concludes this episode of a fools Quest, and join
us next time for more fun and daring adventure. Thank
you for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review,
and comment.
Speaker 3: On your favorite platform.
Speaker 11: To listen to a fools Quest