Speaker 1: Jimmie.
Speaker 2: I think anybody that was listening last week is probably
Speaker 2: curious to know how you're a massive, massive bruise from
Speaker 2: your stomach.
Speaker 3: Like it's sounds a little bit more manly, right, Yeah,
Speaker 3: if it's.
Speaker 2: If it's healing up and you can see it on
Speaker 2: our social media, it's it's something from a nightmare movie.
Speaker 4: So I passed the one week mark and I still
Speaker 4: have this. It's bigger than a golf mall, maybe smaller
Speaker 4: than a baseball, but almost baseball size lump on my hip.
Speaker 4: I had a cycling accident. I was doing this gravel
Speaker 4: race in Colorado and I wiped out.
Speaker 1: I didn't even think that much of it at the time.
Speaker 1: I mean I literally was.
Speaker 4: Like, oh man, I kind of scraped my elbow and
Speaker 4: my knee a little bit. Then thirty minutes later, on
Speaker 4: the bike ride this I start to this mass starts
Speaker 4: to swell on my my hip, and I've I've shared
Speaker 4: some of it on social media and people are like
Speaker 4: freaking out. It's nice and everyone's everyone's an expert all
Speaker 4: of a sudden on hip contusions.
Speaker 1: And I and I haven't known what to do.
Speaker 4: I you know, just because people were going you should
Speaker 4: get a doctor to look at. I went to my doc.
Speaker 4: I went to a doctor. It was not my normal doctor.
Speaker 4: It was because it takes forever to get in to
Speaker 4: see her. But I went to one and she just
Speaker 4: disregarded it. She's like, here, you know, here's some here's
Speaker 4: some topical antibiotic.
Speaker 1: See you pat on the butt, you know kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Because I got to get to my next patient so
Speaker 2: I can build them too exactly.
Speaker 4: And then uh, some people are like, you need to
Speaker 4: get that drained because it's still swelling. It's swollen, and
Speaker 4: I basically have a bruise from my belly button all
Speaker 4: the way around my side to my spine.
Speaker 1: It's about four or five inches. Yeah, it looks like
Speaker 1: a belt on, like you're sitting around your waist. Yeah.
Speaker 4: And so I've I guess I wasn't too worried about it,
Speaker 4: except everyone else seemed worried about it. And so a
Speaker 4: listener who is a cyclist recommended someone to do acupuncture.
Speaker 4: I went to this acupuncturist in Lakeway. Sweet woman. She's great.
Speaker 4: She's like, yes, I've seen this before, I can help
Speaker 4: it heal faster. I did one session with that. I
Speaker 4: did ozone therapy, Westlake ozone or Westlake Medical, I forget
Speaker 4: what it is, Westlake Medical therapy or whatever. Ozone which
Speaker 4: is supposed to help oxygen. You sit in this chamber
Speaker 4: and do that. And then I did this like thyroid
Speaker 4: kind of massage. It's supposed to help with circulation.
Speaker 1: And here I am sitting here now one week.
Speaker 4: Past Saturday, and I, you know, I feel okay, but
Speaker 4: I still have this big bulb on my hip. But
Speaker 4: one of the more interesting things about it is, uh
Speaker 4: so when you have a contusion, that there's a lot
Speaker 4: of blood in the injury, right, and then it drains
Speaker 4: out and that's what looks like a bruise.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 4: Well, mine was on my hip, and so I'm sleeping
Speaker 4: on my side, my left side because the injury is
Speaker 4: on my right hip, and so all the drain is
Speaker 4: just going down the back and down the front.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 4: Well, what I have here, I'm just going to cut
Speaker 4: to the chase because I don't know how to sugarcoat this.
Speaker 1: I got myself a purple weener. I'm sorry say that again.
Speaker 4: The blood is drained down to the crotchy old area
Speaker 4: that is that's the word crotchi ol. Yeah, and I
Speaker 4: got myself a purple, a purple weener.
Speaker 1: I almost want to say, can I see? I feel
Speaker 1: like I want to see it too.
Speaker 4: It's full on purple. And so I'm kind of playing
Speaker 4: this card with my wife. I'm like that every day
Speaker 4: you get to hook up with and time is limited.
Speaker 4: Time this could disappear the old purple wiener because in
Speaker 4: my mind I'm reverse star Trek William Shatner. Remember how
Speaker 4: Captain Kirk was always her hooking up with different colored
Speaker 4: people from different matter, it didn't matter.
Speaker 1: And they were rainbow, it didn't matter. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is your chance. What does she say? What is
Speaker 1: her reaction? But she rolls her eyes and walks away.
Speaker 1: She's tolerating me. I'll just say that she's tolerating me,
Speaker 1: but not enticed by the.
Speaker 2: Have you thought about sending a photograph that says, are
Speaker 2: you sure?
Speaker 3: Sometimes a photograph can achieve when my life can't really
Speaker 3: get it going you just so.
Speaker 1: Let me ask this about it.
Speaker 2: So clearly it started onto that at like I guess
Speaker 2: it started from the bottom up, you know what I mean, like,
Speaker 2: which is where it came from the connection, the part
Speaker 2: of the connects to just below your base started there.
Speaker 1: I didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't just jump, and it's slowly, slowly turned into
Speaker 2: a prince little purple.
Speaker 1: Yes, unit be terrified.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's still going like, doctor, you have
Speaker 2: you have to cut this off.
Speaker 1: What's going on? You had a good run, Wiener, You
Speaker 1: know I no one seemed too concerned of the specialists
Speaker 1: that I went to. But I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm still trying to convince the wife like this is
Speaker 4: this is a once in a lifetime Yeah, maybe twice off.
Speaker 4: You gotta let me know because you gotta spend some
Speaker 4: time with the purple.
Speaker 1: Time with the purple Prissia. I'm telling you this is
Speaker 1: not funny, and I'm telling you that it is funny,
Speaker 1: and we're.
Speaker 2: Gonna let the audience decide. But we'll get to it
Speaker 2: in just a second. We're talking about a social media
Speaker 2: video that just Trisha whipping herself laughing, having to do
Speaker 2: with the Pope and a seagull.
Speaker 3: Right, yep, the seagulls that were on top of the
Speaker 3: conclave when the white smoke came out of the chimney.
Speaker 1: We'll get to it a minute.
Speaker 2: Boy, we're learning a lot about the Pope, the new
Speaker 2: Pope and a short amount of time. Everyone's fired up
Speaker 2: that the Pope is an American that's from Chicago, that
Speaker 2: he's a White Sox fan. They actually have video of
Speaker 2: him at a White Sox game from years ago, and
Speaker 2: it was funny because they're doing the play by play
Speaker 2: and then you know, it's the regular baseball play by play,
Speaker 2: and then they just cut to a photo of the
Speaker 2: guy and it says a sign the new Pope with
Speaker 2: an arrow pointing at him in the stands.
Speaker 1: It's funny.
Speaker 2: Uh. But they're finding a lot about him, and one
Speaker 2: of the things is that his childhood home. They have
Speaker 2: found that in suburban Chicago, about thirty minutes from downtown Chicago,
Speaker 2: and it was up for sale, but as soon as
Speaker 2: they announced the new Pope, the owner took it off
Speaker 2: the market. Uh.
Speaker 1: And people are flocking to it.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Catholics to go to the childhood home
Speaker 4: of a pope.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, big deal. Oh my god. There'll be a
Speaker 1: line around the building. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And they're talking about the city maybe taking over making
Speaker 2: it a museum similar to the one Wow that.
Speaker 1: They did in Gary, Indiana for the for the Jacksons.
Speaker 1: Michael Jackson, in particulating Jackson.
Speaker 2: But we're also finding out that the Pope has a brother,
Speaker 2: which is kind of weird to think.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't know why it's weird to
Speaker 1: think it is weird.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't think about the Pope having siblings or anything.
Speaker 1: They just think he was born and then he became
Speaker 1: the pope.
Speaker 4: Right like they were born at the Vatican and just
Speaker 4: grew up there, right, yeah, right, yes.
Speaker 2: But here is the Pope's brother talking about finding out
Speaker 2: that his brother is the Pope.
Speaker 5: Was Ryan in bedded. My wife called him and said,
Speaker 5: white smoke, white smoke. So I turned the TV on
Speaker 5: watched the whites Man. It took him almost an hour
Speaker 5: till late and when the cardinal came out and we're
Speaker 5: all waiting and he goes and you mentioned Roberto, I
Speaker 5: knew right away, and I just it's like if I
Speaker 5: had not been in bed standing up, I might have collapsed,
Speaker 5: because it's like totally unexpected.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 5: It's like they said the first American pope, that was
Speaker 5: a strike against him. He's young, two strikes, but he's
Speaker 5: got a lot of worldwide experience in his previous poets.
Speaker 5: Though when we were little kids, we used to I
Speaker 5: used to raise Cane to my two younger brothers all
Speaker 5: the time, but he was always the holy One and
Speaker 5: ice as we used to tease him, you're going to
Speaker 5: be pope someday.
Speaker 1: You're too holy? What do you want to be? And
Speaker 1: you know, joking.
Speaker 5: Really And when he went into the seminary, it's like
Speaker 5: oh wow. And then a couple of years ago when
Speaker 5: the Pope made him a cardinal, that's like this could happen.
Speaker 1: And wow, your brothers the pope.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he said, he's still gonna call him Bob.
Speaker 4: How unpopular are you now at the family dinner?
Speaker 1: No kidding? Who wants to say grace?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: I guess nobody gets to say it anymore except him?
Speaker 1: Bob, you got anything in you for Christmas? Grace? Pick
Speaker 1: a language? Yeah? In Chicago here? How about doing it
Speaker 1: in English? Polish, I don't.
Speaker 4: Know, Italian? Yeah? Yeah, but yeah, it's wow.
Speaker 2: That kind of sucks being the brother of the pope though,
Speaker 2: because like you makes no matter what you do in life.
Speaker 1: Yep, and become your brother was the pope he could Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not enough. Do you have infallibility? No? He does?
Speaker 1: You don't?
Speaker 4: I mean, the only people upset about this nomination of
Speaker 4: an American pope. Are probably Cubs fans, right, They're like, really,
Speaker 4: a white Sox fan is the Pope?
Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, that's much more of a Cubs thing.
Speaker 1: Come on, I like it for the white Sox fans.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be crazy at the stadium and stuff they're
Speaker 2: gonna I did see a funny thing on I think
Speaker 2: it was the Onion and it was the Pope Chicago
Speaker 2: style and he was in the middle of a Chicago
Speaker 2: style hot dog.
Speaker 3: I saw a Sox fan say, you thought we were
Speaker 3: unbearable before, Yeah, we got the Pope.
Speaker 2: Imagine if they go on to like win the World Series,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, because of the Pope.
Speaker 4: It's yes, and there is a lot of that in baseball,
Speaker 4: very curses.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes.
Speaker 2: I wonder if they've made a call to the Vatican
Speaker 2: to see if he can come to Chicago and throw
Speaker 2: out a first pitch.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that would be amazing. That would be incredible.
Speaker 1: Cold handle the crowd.
Speaker 2: No one draws crowds like the Pope and the Lama.
Speaker 2: Biggest crowd getters out there, the Lama. Remember I went
Speaker 2: to see the Lama in Austin. That's why we got
Speaker 2: the juju.
Speaker 4: I was big borrowing and stealing to get a ticket
Speaker 4: into that event at the at at the Erman Center,
Speaker 4: which is no longer there. But uh yeah, I got
Speaker 4: to see the Lama and it's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: That's when he slipped you that USB with the good
Speaker 1: juju on it.
Speaker 3: That's and y'all used to give out the good juju
Speaker 3: to the listeners.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I forgot about the USB with the juju.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the good juju? You have that? Did I lose that?
Speaker 1: I lost? I've got it. Okay, I've got it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was thinking i'd throw away something from the Lama, right,
Speaker 1: I lost track of it. Yeah, I will. Good thing,
Speaker 1: I'm here, good thing, I'm here. It's one of the
Speaker 1: few things he's kept up with over the year. That's true.
Speaker 1: That's very, very very true.
Speaker 2: So we're gonna have this pope for a while. How
Speaker 2: old is the is the Lama? Does anyone know the Lama?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: How old is he? I'm just thinking how long we're
Speaker 2: gonna have the Dalai Lama for I.
Speaker 4: See or the new pope.
Speaker 1: He's only sixty nine. We're gonna have him for a while.
Speaker 1: I'm just oh, yeah, we could have him another thirty years.
Speaker 2: Right, I'm just wondering how long we're going to have
Speaker 2: the Dalai Lama, because then when they go looking for him,
Speaker 2: that's a whole different deal.
Speaker 1: There's no smoke in bold of that. Yeah. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: kind of a how old is he? Nineteen thirty five
Speaker 1: is when he was born ninety ninety? Wow? Oh he's
Speaker 1: up there. Man.
Speaker 2: Could be imagine new pope and a new Lama in
Speaker 2: the same year. Oh wow, pretty interesting. All right, We're
Speaker 2: gonna do this again tomorrow from seven until eight o'clock.
Speaker 2: We'll get another update on Jay's purple Wiener.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna do my seagull video?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Your seagull thing so dumb? Should we started out? Wait?
Speaker 4: Should we start a waiting list of people interested in
Speaker 4: my purple Wiener?
Speaker 1: I think there's something there. Should I have an OnlyFans? Yes?
Speaker 1: You so much money you could make? You gotta shoot
Speaker 1: a lot of video right now? Yeah, a lot. I
Speaker 1: know it's not forever. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Because of this roll window of time to profit off
Speaker 3: your purple wiener.
Speaker 1: The man with the purple Wiener, I'm gonna call it
Speaker 1: Barney because if you.
Speaker 2: Missed it earlier in the last twenty minutes or so,
Speaker 2: grab the podcast person and understand what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: Her funny all right, it just looked for the one.
Speaker 1: I can tell you. The title is gonna be JB's
Speaker 1: Purple Wiener.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's gonna be the most downloaded YEA episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as it should be, right right, I try to.
Speaker 1: We're up against it, so we don't have time for
Speaker 1: your dumb seacret. I knew you recompenay my seat whole thing.
Speaker 2: It's dumb. I'm saving you the embarrassment. I'm saving you embarrassment.
Speaker 1: Trust me,