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<v Speaker 1>Jimmie.

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<v Speaker 2>I think anybody that was listening last week is probably

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<v Speaker 2>curious to know how you're a massive, massive bruise from

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<v Speaker 2>your stomach.

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<v Speaker 3>Like it's sounds a little bit more manly, right, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>if it's.

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<v Speaker 2>If it's healing up and you can see it on

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<v Speaker 2>our social media, it's it's something from a nightmare movie.

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<v Speaker 4>So I passed the one week mark and I still

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<v Speaker 4>have this. It's bigger than a golf mall, maybe smaller

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<v Speaker 4>than a baseball, but almost baseball size lump on my hip.

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<v Speaker 4>I had a cycling accident. I was doing this gravel

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<v Speaker 4>race in Colorado and I wiped out.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't even think that much of it at the time.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I literally was.

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<v Speaker 4>Like, oh man, I kind of scraped my elbow and

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<v Speaker 4>my knee a little bit. Then thirty minutes later, on

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<v Speaker 4>the bike ride this I start to this mass starts

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<v Speaker 4>to swell on my my hip, and I've I've shared

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<v Speaker 4>some of it on social media and people are like

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<v Speaker 4>freaking out. It's nice and everyone's everyone's an expert all

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<v Speaker 4>of a sudden on hip contusions.

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<v Speaker 1>And I and I haven't known what to do.

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<v Speaker 4>I you know, just because people were going you should

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<v Speaker 4>get a doctor to look at. I went to my doc.

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<v Speaker 4>I went to a doctor. It was not my normal doctor.

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<v Speaker 4>It was because it takes forever to get in to

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<v Speaker 4>see her. But I went to one and she just

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<v Speaker 4>disregarded it. She's like, here, you know, here's some here's

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<v Speaker 4>some topical antibiotic.

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<v Speaker 1>See you pat on the butt, you know kind of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I got to get to my next patient so

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<v Speaker 2>I can build them too exactly.

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<v Speaker 4>And then uh, some people are like, you need to

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<v Speaker 4>get that drained because it's still swelling. It's swollen, and

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<v Speaker 4>I basically have a bruise from my belly button all

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<v Speaker 4>the way around my side to my spine.

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<v Speaker 1>It's about four or five inches. Yeah, it looks like

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<v Speaker 1>a belt on, like you're sitting around your waist. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>And so I've I guess I wasn't too worried about it,

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<v Speaker 4>except everyone else seemed worried about it. And so a

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<v Speaker 4>listener who is a cyclist recommended someone to do acupuncture.

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<v Speaker 4>I went to this acupuncturist in Lakeway. Sweet woman. She's great.

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<v Speaker 4>She's like, yes, I've seen this before, I can help

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<v Speaker 4>it heal faster. I did one session with that. I

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<v Speaker 4>did ozone therapy, Westlake ozone or Westlake Medical, I forget

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<v Speaker 4>what it is, Westlake Medical therapy or whatever. Ozone which

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<v Speaker 4>is supposed to help oxygen. You sit in this chamber

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<v Speaker 4>and do that. And then I did this like thyroid

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<v Speaker 4>kind of massage. It's supposed to help with circulation.

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<v Speaker 1>And here I am sitting here now one week.

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<v Speaker 4>Past Saturday, and I, you know, I feel okay, but

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<v Speaker 4>I still have this big bulb on my hip. But

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<v Speaker 4>one of the more interesting things about it is, uh

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<v Speaker 4>so when you have a contusion, that there's a lot

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<v Speaker 4>of blood in the injury, right, and then it drains

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<v Speaker 4>out and that's what looks like a bruise.

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<v Speaker 1>Right.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, mine was on my hip, and so I'm sleeping

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<v Speaker 4>on my side, my left side because the injury is

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<v Speaker 4>on my right hip, and so all the drain is

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<v Speaker 4>just going down the back and down the front.

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<v Speaker 1>Right.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, what I have here, I'm just going to cut

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<v Speaker 4>to the chase because I don't know how to sugarcoat this.

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<v Speaker 1>I got myself a purple weener. I'm sorry say that again.

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<v Speaker 4>The blood is drained down to the crotchy old area

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<v Speaker 4>that is that's the word crotchi ol. Yeah, and I

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<v Speaker 4>got myself a purple, a purple weener.

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<v Speaker 1>I almost want to say, can I see? I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I want to see it too.

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<v Speaker 4>It's full on purple. And so I'm kind of playing

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<v Speaker 4>this card with my wife. I'm like that every day

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<v Speaker 4>you get to hook up with and time is limited.

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<v Speaker 4>Time this could disappear the old purple wiener because in

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<v Speaker 4>my mind I'm reverse star Trek William Shatner. Remember how

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<v Speaker 4>Captain Kirk was always her hooking up with different colored

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<v Speaker 4>people from different matter, it didn't matter.

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<v Speaker 1>And they were rainbow, it didn't matter. And I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>this is your chance. What does she say? What is

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<v Speaker 1>her reaction? But she rolls her eyes and walks away.

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<v Speaker 1>She's tolerating me. I'll just say that she's tolerating me,

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<v Speaker 1>but not enticed by the.

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<v Speaker 2>Have you thought about sending a photograph that says, are

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<v Speaker 2>you sure?

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<v Speaker 3>Sometimes a photograph can achieve when my life can't really

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<v Speaker 3>get it going you just so.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me ask this about it.

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<v Speaker 2>So clearly it started onto that at like I guess

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<v Speaker 2>it started from the bottom up, you know what I mean, like,

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<v Speaker 2>which is where it came from the connection, the part

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<v Speaker 2>of the connects to just below your base started there.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't just jump, and it's slowly, slowly turned into

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<v Speaker 2>a prince little purple.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, unit be terrified.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like it's still going like, doctor, you have

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<v Speaker 2>you have to cut this off.

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on? You had a good run, Wiener, You

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<v Speaker 1>know I no one seemed too concerned of the specialists

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<v Speaker 1>that I went to. But I don't.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm still trying to convince the wife like this is

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<v Speaker 4>this is a once in a lifetime Yeah, maybe twice off.

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<v Speaker 4>You gotta let me know because you gotta spend some

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<v Speaker 4>time with the purple.

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<v Speaker 1>Time with the purple Prissia. I'm telling you this is

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<v Speaker 1>not funny, and I'm telling you that it is funny,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're.

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<v Speaker 2>Gonna let the audience decide. But we'll get to it

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<v Speaker 2>in just a second. We're talking about a social media

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<v Speaker 2>video that just Trisha whipping herself laughing, having to do

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<v Speaker 2>with the Pope and a seagull.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, yep, the seagulls that were on top of the

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<v Speaker 3>conclave when the white smoke came out of the chimney.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll get to it a minute.

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<v Speaker 2>Boy, we're learning a lot about the Pope, the new

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<v Speaker 2>Pope and a short amount of time. Everyone's fired up

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<v Speaker 2>that the Pope is an American that's from Chicago, that

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<v Speaker 2>he's a White Sox fan. They actually have video of

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<v Speaker 2>him at a White Sox game from years ago, and

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<v Speaker 2>it was funny because they're doing the play by play

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<v Speaker 2>and then you know, it's the regular baseball play by play,

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<v Speaker 2>and then they just cut to a photo of the

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<v Speaker 2>guy and it says a sign the new Pope with

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<v Speaker 2>an arrow pointing at him in the stands.

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<v Speaker 1>It's funny.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh. But they're finding a lot about him, and one

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<v Speaker 2>of the things is that his childhood home. They have

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<v Speaker 2>found that in suburban Chicago, about thirty minutes from downtown Chicago,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was up for sale, but as soon as

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<v Speaker 2>they announced the new Pope, the owner took it off

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<v Speaker 2>the market. Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>And people are flocking to it.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, Catholics to go to the childhood home

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<v Speaker 4>of a pope.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, big deal. Oh my god. There'll be a

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<v Speaker 1>line around the building. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And they're talking about the city maybe taking over making

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<v Speaker 2>it a museum similar to the one Wow that.

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<v Speaker 1>They did in Gary, Indiana for the for the Jacksons.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Jackson, in particulating Jackson.

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<v Speaker 2>But we're also finding out that the Pope has a brother,

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<v Speaker 2>which is kind of weird to think.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think. I don't know why it's weird to

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<v Speaker 1>think it is weird.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you don't think about the Pope having siblings or anything.

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<v Speaker 1>They just think he was born and then he became

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<v Speaker 1>the pope.

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<v Speaker 4>Right like they were born at the Vatican and just

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<v Speaker 4>grew up there, right, yeah, right, yes.

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<v Speaker 2>But here is the Pope's brother talking about finding out

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<v Speaker 2>that his brother is the Pope.

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<v Speaker 5>Was Ryan in bedded. My wife called him and said,

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<v Speaker 5>white smoke, white smoke. So I turned the TV on

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<v Speaker 5>watched the whites Man. It took him almost an hour

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<v Speaker 5>till late and when the cardinal came out and we're

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<v Speaker 5>all waiting and he goes and you mentioned Roberto, I

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<v Speaker 5>knew right away, and I just it's like if I

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<v Speaker 5>had not been in bed standing up, I might have collapsed,

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<v Speaker 5>because it's like totally unexpected.

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<v Speaker 4>You know.

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<v Speaker 5>It's like they said the first American pope, that was

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<v Speaker 5>a strike against him. He's young, two strikes, but he's

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<v Speaker 5>got a lot of worldwide experience in his previous poets.

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<v Speaker 5>Though when we were little kids, we used to I

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<v Speaker 5>used to raise Cane to my two younger brothers all

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<v Speaker 5>the time, but he was always the holy One and

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<v Speaker 5>ice as we used to tease him, you're going to

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<v Speaker 5>be pope someday.

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<v Speaker 1>You're too holy? What do you want to be? And

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<v Speaker 1>you know, joking.

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<v Speaker 5>Really And when he went into the seminary, it's like

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<v Speaker 5>oh wow. And then a couple of years ago when

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<v Speaker 5>the Pope made him a cardinal, that's like this could happen.

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<v Speaker 1>And wow, your brothers the pope.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, he said, he's still gonna call him Bob.

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<v Speaker 4>How unpopular are you now at the family dinner?

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<v Speaker 1>No kidding? Who wants to say grace?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>I guess nobody gets to say it anymore except him?

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<v Speaker 1>Bob, you got anything in you for Christmas? Grace? Pick

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<v Speaker 1>a language? Yeah? In Chicago here? How about doing it

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<v Speaker 1>in English? Polish, I don't.

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<v Speaker 4>Know, Italian? Yeah? Yeah, but yeah, it's wow.

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<v Speaker 2>That kind of sucks being the brother of the pope though,

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<v Speaker 2>because like you makes no matter what you do in life.

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<v Speaker 1>Yep, and become your brother was the pope he could Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not enough. Do you have infallibility? No? He does?

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<v Speaker 1>You don't?

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, the only people upset about this nomination of

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<v Speaker 4>an American pope. Are probably Cubs fans, right, They're like, really,

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<v Speaker 4>a white Sox fan is the Pope?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, come on, that's much more of a Cubs thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Come on, I like it for the white Sox fans.

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<v Speaker 2>It's gonna be crazy at the stadium and stuff they're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna I did see a funny thing on I think

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<v Speaker 2>it was the Onion and it was the Pope Chicago

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<v Speaker 2>style and he was in the middle of a Chicago

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<v Speaker 2>style hot dog.

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<v Speaker 3>I saw a Sox fan say, you thought we were

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<v Speaker 3>unbearable before, Yeah, we got the Pope.

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<v Speaker 2>Imagine if they go on to like win the World Series,

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, because of the Pope.

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<v Speaker 4>It's yes, and there is a lot of that in baseball,

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<v Speaker 4>very curses.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes.

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<v Speaker 2>I wonder if they've made a call to the Vatican

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<v Speaker 2>to see if he can come to Chicago and throw

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<v Speaker 2>out a first pitch.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, that would be amazing. That would be incredible.

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<v Speaker 1>Cold handle the crowd.

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<v Speaker 2>No one draws crowds like the Pope and the Lama.

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<v Speaker 2>Biggest crowd getters out there, the Lama. Remember I went

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<v Speaker 2>to see the Lama in Austin. That's why we got

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<v Speaker 2>the juju.

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<v Speaker 4>I was big borrowing and stealing to get a ticket

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<v Speaker 4>into that event at the at at the Erman Center,

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<v Speaker 4>which is no longer there. But uh yeah, I got

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<v Speaker 4>to see the Lama and it's pretty cool.

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<v Speaker 1>That's when he slipped you that USB with the good

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<v Speaker 1>juju on it.

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<v Speaker 3>That's and y'all used to give out the good juju

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<v Speaker 3>to the listeners.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, yeah, I forgot about the USB with the juju.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the good juju? You have that? Did I lose that?

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<v Speaker 1>I lost? I've got it. Okay, I've got it. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I was thinking i'd throw away something from the Lama, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I lost track of it. Yeah, I will. Good thing,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm here, good thing, I'm here. It's one of the

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<v Speaker 1>few things he's kept up with over the year. That's true.

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<v Speaker 1>That's very, very very true.

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<v Speaker 2>So we're gonna have this pope for a while. How

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<v Speaker 2>old is the is the Lama? Does anyone know the Lama?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>How old is he? I'm just thinking how long we're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna have the Dalai Lama for I.

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<v Speaker 4>See or the new pope.

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<v Speaker 1>He's only sixty nine. We're gonna have him for a while.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just oh, yeah, we could have him another thirty years.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, I'm just wondering how long we're going to have

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<v Speaker 2>the Dalai Lama, because then when they go looking for him,

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<v Speaker 2>that's a whole different deal.

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<v Speaker 1>There's no smoke in bold of that. Yeah. Yeah, that's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of a how old is he? Nineteen thirty five

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<v Speaker 1>is when he was born ninety ninety? Wow? Oh he's

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<v Speaker 1>up there. Man.

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<v Speaker 2>Could be imagine new pope and a new Lama in

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<v Speaker 2>the same year. Oh wow, pretty interesting. All right, We're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna do this again tomorrow from seven until eight o'clock.

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<v Speaker 2>We'll get another update on Jay's purple Wiener.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not gonna do my seagull video?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Your seagull thing so dumb? Should we started out? Wait?

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<v Speaker 4>Should we start a waiting list of people interested in

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<v Speaker 4>my purple Wiener?

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<v Speaker 1>I think there's something there. Should I have an OnlyFans? Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>You so much money you could make? You gotta shoot

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of video right now? Yeah, a lot. I

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<v Speaker 1>know it's not forever. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 3>Because of this roll window of time to profit off

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<v Speaker 3>your purple wiener.

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<v Speaker 1>The man with the purple Wiener, I'm gonna call it

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<v Speaker 1>Barney because if you.

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<v Speaker 2>Missed it earlier in the last twenty minutes or so,

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<v Speaker 2>grab the podcast person and understand what we're talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>Her funny all right, it just looked for the one.

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<v Speaker 1>I can tell you. The title is gonna be JB's

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<v Speaker 1>Purple Wiener.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's gonna be the most downloaded YEA episode.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, as it should be, right right, I try to.

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<v Speaker 1>We're up against it, so we don't have time for

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<v Speaker 1>your dumb seacret. I knew you recompenay my seat whole thing.

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<v Speaker 2>It's dumb. I'm saving you the embarrassment. I'm saving you embarrassment.

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<v Speaker 1>Trust me,