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<v Speaker 1>Episode with two stories. First part, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Hope you enjoy this story. Spouse received a significant advancement

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<v Speaker 2>at work and began arriving home later. Eventually I discovered

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<v Speaker 2>a five thousand dollar receipt for accessories pictures with a

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<v Speaker 2>different lady, and he allowed her to collect our children

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<v Speaker 2>from school without telling me. Obligatory throwaway account. Because my

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<v Speaker 2>friends and family use read it. All names have been

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<v Speaker 2>changed and some minor details altered for privacy. I honestly

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<v Speaker 2>never thought i'd be posting here, but I really need

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<v Speaker 2>advice and maybe just to get this off my chest.

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<v Speaker 2>I thirty four f have been married to my husband,

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<v Speaker 2>Mark thirty five m four ten years. We have two kids,

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<v Speaker 2>a daughter eight and a son five. Up until six

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<v Speaker 2>months ago, I thought we had the perfect life, good jobs,

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<v Speaker 2>a nice house in the suburbs, family vacations. Now I'm

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<v Speaker 2>watching my marriage implode and trying to understand how my

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<v Speaker 2>husband and went from being an amazing father and partner

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<v Speaker 2>to someone I honestly don't even recognize any more. Let

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<v Speaker 2>me start from the beginning. Mark and I met in

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<v Speaker 2>our mid twenties through mutual friends at a housewarming party.

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<v Speaker 2>He was everything I was looking for. Charismatic, ambitious, and

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<v Speaker 2>seemingly genuine in his desire to build a future together.

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<v Speaker 2>We dated for two years, during which he showed me

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<v Speaker 2>nothing but love, respect and dedication. When he proposed during

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<v Speaker 2>a quiet evening at home, because he knew I hated

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<v Speaker 2>public proposals, I thought I had found my forever person.

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<v Speaker 2>We got married in a small ceremony, surrounded by family

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<v Speaker 2>and friends. The early years were wonderful. We both had

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<v Speaker 2>promising careers, supported each other's dreams, and worked together to

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<v Speaker 2>build our life. We bought our dream house in the suburbs,

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<v Speaker 2>a beautiful colonial with a big back yard where we

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<v Speaker 2>planned to raise our family. When our daughter, Emma arrived

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<v Speaker 2>three years into our marriage, Mark was the perfect father,

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<v Speaker 2>taking paternity leave and handling midnight feedings like a champion.

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<v Speaker 2>Lucas followed three years later, and our family felt complete.

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<v Speaker 2>Mark worked in corporate sales while I managed accounts at

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<v Speaker 2>a marketing firm. We both earned good money, but Mark's

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<v Speaker 2>career really took off about five years into our marriage.

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<v Speaker 2>He climbed the corporate ladder steadily, and I was genuinely

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<v Speaker 2>proud of his success. We had a comfortable life, took

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<v Speaker 2>nice vacations and were able to start college funds for

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<v Speaker 2>both kids. More importantly, we seemed happy. Sure we had

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<v Speaker 2>normal married couple disagreements, but we always worked through them together.

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<v Speaker 2>Everything started changing about eight months ago when Mark got

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<v Speaker 2>promoted to regional director at his company. The position came

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<v Speaker 2>with a significant pay raise and more responsibilities, which we

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<v Speaker 2>both knew would mean some adjustments to our family life.

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<v Speaker 2>At first, the changes were subtle and completely understandable. The

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<v Speaker 2>late nights at work became more frequent, which made sense

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<v Speaker 2>given his new role overseeing teams across multiple states. He'd

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<v Speaker 2>miss dinner with us maybe once or twice a week,

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<v Speaker 2>but he always texted ahead to let me know and

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<v Speaker 2>would try to make it up by spending extra time

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<v Speaker 2>with the kids on weekends. I was supportive of his

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<v Speaker 2>career growth and tried to manage things at home to

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<v Speaker 2>make his transition easier. I took on more of the

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<v Speaker 2>child care responsibilities, handled all the household chores, and tried

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<v Speaker 2>to be understanding when he seemed stressed or distant. The

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<v Speaker 2>dynamic shifted gradually, but unmistakably. The mist dinners turned into

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<v Speaker 2>mist weekends. His texts became shorter, more impersonal, often just

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<v Speaker 2>working late or don't wait up. He started coming home

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<v Speaker 2>late smelling of unfamiliar cologne, claiming he'd borrowed it from

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<v Speaker 2>a colleague after going to the gym. When I tried

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<v Speaker 2>to talk to him about the changes in our relationship,

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<v Speaker 2>he'd get defensive and accuse me of not supporting his

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<v Speaker 2>career advancement. He'd remind me that his new position was

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<v Speaker 2>benefiting our whole family, and that I was being selfish

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<v Speaker 2>for complaining about his long hours. The first real red

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<v Speaker 2>flag came when I noticed changes in our final answs.

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<v Speaker 2>Mark and I had always maintained a joint account for

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<v Speaker 2>household expenses and savings while keeping separate accounts for our

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<v Speaker 2>personal spending, an arrangement that had worked well for our

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<v Speaker 2>entire marriage. One day, while logging in to pay our

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<v Speaker 2>monthly bills, I noticed several large transfers from our joint

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<v Speaker 2>account to an account I didn't recognize. These weren't small amounts.

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<v Speaker 2>We're talking thousands of dollars at a time. When I

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<v Speaker 2>brought it up that evening, Mark brushed it off as

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<v Speaker 2>business expenses that would be reimbursed soon. He explained that

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes he needed to front money for client entertainment and

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<v Speaker 2>corporate events, and the reimbursement process could take a few weeks.

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<v Speaker 2>It sounded plausible enough, especially given his new position, but

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<v Speaker 2>something about his explanation felt rehearsed. I might have believed

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<v Speaker 2>him if it weren't for what happened next. While doing

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<v Speaker 2>laundry one weekend, I found a receipt in his pocket

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<v Speaker 2>from a high end jewelry store for a five thousand

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<v Speaker 2>dollar bracelet purchased two weeks before. My birthday had passed

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<v Speaker 2>months ago, and our anniverse wasn't for another six months.

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<v Speaker 2>The kids were too young for such an expensive gift,

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<v Speaker 2>and none of our close relatives had birthdays coming up.

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<v Speaker 2>When I confronted him about it, Mark's reaction was explosive.

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<v Speaker 2>He accused me of spying on him and invading his privacy,

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<v Speaker 2>saying he was allowed to spend his own money however

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<v Speaker 2>he wanted. He stormed out and didn't come home that night,

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<v Speaker 2>claiming he needed to cool off at a friend's house.

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<v Speaker 2>That's when I started paying closer attention to everything. Mark

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<v Speaker 2>had changed all his passwords on his devices and accounts,

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<v Speaker 2>but he'd forgotten about our shared cloud storage, where our

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<v Speaker 2>family photos were automatically backed up. New photos had started appearing,

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<v Speaker 2>Pictures of him with a woman I'd never seen before

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<v Speaker 2>at restaurants and hotels I knew we'd never visited together.

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<v Speaker 2>They looked intimate, comfortable with each other in a way

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<v Speaker 2>that made my stomach churn. In some photos, they were

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<v Speaker 2>dressed up for what looked like business events. In others,

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<v Speaker 2>they were clearly on personal outings, holding hands or sharing

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<v Speaker 2>private moments. I was still trying to figure out how

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<v Speaker 2>to handle this discovery when Mark said he needed to

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<v Speaker 2>go on a two week business trip to Europe. He

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<v Speaker 2>claimed it was a last minute requirement from corporate, but

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<v Speaker 2>I had never known his company to arrange international trips

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<v Speaker 2>without weeks of advance planning. I decided to do some

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<v Speaker 2>serious digging while he was away. As it turned out,

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<v Speaker 2>the Europe trip wasn't entirely a lie. He did have

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<v Speaker 2>some business meetings there, but expense reports showed he'd extended

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<v Speaker 2>the trip by a week, and Sarah had joined him

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<v Speaker 2>for part of it, all charged to our joint account.

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<v Speaker 2>Those two weeks gave me the time and space I

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<v Speaker 2>needed to compile everything I discovered through our joint account records.

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<v Speaker 2>I found recurring payments for an apartment lease. The lease

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<v Speaker 2>had started three months after his promotion. There were also

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<v Speaker 2>numerous charges from upscale restaurants, hotels, and shopping destinations, all

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<v Speaker 2>on dates when he claimed to be working late or

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<v Speaker 2>traveling for business. The amounts were staggering, especially considering these

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<v Speaker 2>were clearly personal expenses being paid from our joint account.

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<v Speaker 2>But the final straw came when Emma innocently mentioned that

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<v Speaker 2>Daddy's friend Sarah had picked her up from school one

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<v Speaker 2>day when I was stuck in a meeting. I had

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<v Speaker 2>never authorized any one named Sarah to pick up my children,

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<v Speaker 2>and Mark had never mentioned this person to me. When

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<v Speaker 2>I checked with the school, they confirmed that Mark had

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<v Speaker 2>added this woman to the approved pick up list months ago,

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<v Speaker 2>listing her as a family friend. The thought of this stranger,

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<v Speaker 2>who I now suspected was the woman from the photos,

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<v Speaker 2>having access to my children made me feel physically ill.

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<v Speaker 2>That's when I knew I needed professional help. I contacted

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<v Speaker 2>a lawyer and began methodically documenting everything. My lawyer advised

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<v Speaker 2>me to keep things as normal as possible while we

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<v Speaker 2>built our case, which was honestly one of the hardest

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<v Speaker 2>things I've ever had to do. For six excruciating weeks,

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<v Speaker 2>I maintained the facade of a normal marriage. While gathering evidence.

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<v Speaker 2>I discovered he'd been systematically moving money not just from

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<v Speaker 2>our joint accounts into private accounts, but also making withdrawal

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<v Speaker 2>from our investment accounts. He was clearly preparing for a future.

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't meant to be part of living this double life,

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<v Speaker 2>being both the supportive wife and the betrayed spous Gathering

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<v Speaker 2>evidence took a tremendous toll on me. I lost weight,

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't sleep, and found myself jumping every time my phone

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<v Speaker 2>buzzed with a notification. My close friends noticed the change

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<v Speaker 2>in me, but I couldn't bring myself to tell them

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<v Speaker 2>what was happening. I felt ashamed, as if somehow Mark's

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<v Speaker 2>betrayal was a reflection on me. But last week, Mark

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<v Speaker 2>came home earlier than usual and announced he needed to talk.

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<v Speaker 2>He sat me down at our kitchen table and told

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<v Speaker 2>me he thought we should separate. He claimed we'd grown

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<v Speaker 2>apart and that he needed space to figure things out.

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<v Speaker 2>He had already found an apartment, he said, and thought

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<v Speaker 2>it would be best if he moved out immediately. What

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<v Speaker 2>he didn't know was that I was prepared for this conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>When he finished his speech, I calmly placed a folder

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<v Speaker 2>on the table between us. Inside was everything I'd discovered.

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<v Speaker 2>His face went pale as he realized what he was

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<v Speaker 2>looking at. That's when everything spilled out. Sarah wasn't just

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<v Speaker 2>a colleague. She was someone he'd met at a conference

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<v Speaker 2>last year, and they'd been seeing each other for months.

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<v Speaker 2>The apartment wasn't new, it was where they'd been meeting

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<v Speaker 2>all along. The money he'd been moving wasn't for business expenses.

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<v Speaker 2>It was his escape fund for a new life with her.

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<v Speaker 2>He'd been planning to leave for months, carefully orchestrating his

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<v Speaker 2>exit while keeping up appearances. I let him talk, let

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<v Speaker 2>him try to justify his actions. He claimed he hadn't

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<v Speaker 2>meant for it to happen, that it had started as

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<v Speaker 2>just friendship and evolved into something more. He said he'd

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<v Speaker 2>tried to fight his feelings for her, but couldn't. He

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<v Speaker 2>even had the audacity to suggest that our marriage had

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<v Speaker 2>been struggling for years, despite all evidence to the contrary.

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<v Speaker 2>When he finished, I simply handed him another document, the

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<v Speaker 2>divorce papers my lawyer had prepared. His expression shifted from

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<v Speaker 2>shock to anger to resignation, and the span of seconds

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<v Speaker 2>he took the papers without a word and left the house.

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<v Speaker 2>That was three days ago. I'm still processing everything that's happened,

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<v Speaker 2>trying to figure out how to move forward. The kids

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<v Speaker 2>are staying with my sister this weekend while I sort

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<v Speaker 2>things out. My lawyer assures me we have a strong

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<v Speaker 2>case for a favorable divorce settlement given the evidence we've gathered,

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<v Speaker 2>especially regarding his financial deceptions and unauthorized use of our

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<v Speaker 2>joint funds. But that's small comfort when I think about

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<v Speaker 2>how our family has been torn apart. I would appreciate

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<v Speaker 2>any advice from others who have been through something similar.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you explain it to your kids? How did

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<v Speaker 2>you move forward? How long did it take before things

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<v Speaker 2>started feeling normal again? Edit? Thank you for all the

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<v Speaker 2>supportive comments and messages. To address some common questions, my

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<v Speaker 2>lawyer and I have been thorough with protecting ourselves legally

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<v Speaker 2>and financially. I've made copies of all financial records, text messages, photos,

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<v Speaker 2>and other evidence, storing them in multiple locations, cloud storage,

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<v Speaker 2>USB drives at my sister's house, and hard copies. With

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<v Speaker 2>my lawyer. We've documented all bank statements, credit card bills,

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<v Speaker 2>and investment account records from the past eighteen months, along

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<v Speaker 2>with photos and screenshots of everything suspicious, including that jewelry

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<v Speaker 2>receipt and apartment lease. My lawyer keeps reminding me to

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<v Speaker 2>record any new developments as they happen. As for the

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<v Speaker 2>kid's situation at school, we're trying to maintain some stability

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<v Speaker 2>by keeping them at their current school for now. The

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<v Speaker 2>administration and their teachers are aware of what's happening, and

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<v Speaker 2>the guidance counselor is keeping an extra eye on them.

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<v Speaker 2>We immediately revoked Mark's girlfriends pick up authorization after everything

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<v Speaker 2>came to light. Since their current school is closer to

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<v Speaker 2>Mark's place. I'm looking into other options for next semester,

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<v Speaker 2>specifically focusing on schools in my area that have good

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<v Speaker 2>counseling services. I've taken several steps to secure our finances.

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<v Speaker 2>All three joint credit cards are frozen, and I've opened

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<v Speaker 2>a new personal account at a different bank from my paychecks.

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<v Speaker 2>Every password has been changed, email, social media, banking, phone, everything.

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<v Speaker 2>I set up credit monitoring to catch any new accounts

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<v Speaker 2>he might try to open. I've documented all the money

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<v Speaker 2>he's moved or withdrawn recently and created a detailed spreadsheet

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<v Speaker 2>of our assets and debts. I'm also putting aside whatever

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<v Speaker 2>I can in a separate account for legal fees. The

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<v Speaker 2>current custody and living situation is temporary but stable. I

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<v Speaker 2>have primary custody with marketting every other weekend supervised. For now,

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<v Speaker 2>he has to give twenty four hour notice before contacting

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<v Speaker 2>the kids. I'm staying in the house with them and

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<v Speaker 2>I've changed all the locks and security system codes. I

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<v Speaker 2>also installed security cameras around the house. Maybe paranoid, but

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<v Speaker 2>better safe than sorry. I'm keeping a detailed log of

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<v Speaker 2>all his visits and interactions with the kids. Update number one.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been three weeks since my last post, and I

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<v Speaker 2>want to thank everyone who commented with support and advice.

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<v Speaker 2>Your stories and suggestions have been incredibly helpful during this

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<v Speaker 2>difficult time. A lot has happened and I need to

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<v Speaker 2>share the updates. The divorce proceedings are under way and

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<v Speaker 2>it's been interesting, to say the least. Mark initially tried

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<v Speaker 2>to claim that he should get fifty percent custody of

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<v Speaker 2>the kids, despite having spent minimal time with them over

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<v Speaker 2>the past year. When my lawyer presented evidence of his absences,

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<v Speaker 2>including detailed records of missed events and the unauthorized school

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<v Speaker 2>pick up situation with Sarah. The tone of those discussions

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<v Speaker 2>quickly changed. His lawyer has since suggested a more realistic

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<v Speaker 2>custody arrangement. The financial aspect has been more complicated than

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00:13:43.159 --> 00:13:46.720
<v Speaker 2>we initially thought. We discovered that Mark had been moving

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<v Speaker 2>more money than I initially realized, not just from our

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<v Speaker 2>joint accounts and investment portfolios, but from our children's college

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00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:57.039
<v Speaker 2>funds as well. When confronted about this in mediation, he

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<v Speaker 2>claimed he was protecting the money, but couldn't explain why

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<v Speaker 2>he needed to protect it from me. Their mother, the mediator,

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<v Speaker 2>and his own lawyer seemed unimpressed with this explanation. We

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00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:10.120
<v Speaker 2>also uncovered that he had opened several credit cards in

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<v Speaker 2>his name alone and charged significant amounts to them, presumably

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00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:17.440
<v Speaker 2>for his life with Sarah. While these aren't technically joint debts,

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00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:20.039
<v Speaker 2>the fact that he used our shared resources to make

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00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:22.440
<v Speaker 2>payments on them is becoming a major point of contention

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00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:26.600
<v Speaker 2>in the divorce negotiations. The kids are struggling, but we're

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<v Speaker 2>getting professional help. I found a wonderful child therapist who

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<v Speaker 2>specializes in divorce cases, and both Emma and Lucas have

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00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:37.960
<v Speaker 2>started seeing her weekly. Emma's having a harder time than

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<v Speaker 2>her brother. She's old enough to understand more of what's happening,

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00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:44.679
<v Speaker 2>and she's angry with her father. She refuses to talk

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00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:46.799
<v Speaker 2>to him during his scheduled phone calls and had a

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00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:48.600
<v Speaker 2>melt down when he tried to take her to dinner

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00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:52.879
<v Speaker 2>last week. Lucas just seems confused and keeps asking when

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<v Speaker 2>Daddy's coming home. The therapist says these are normal reactions

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<v Speaker 2>and we need to give them time to process everything.

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<v Speaker 2>Mark's attempts to maintain his image in our social circle

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<v Speaker 2>have been almost comical. He's been telling every one who'll

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<v Speaker 2>listened that our marriage had been failing for years and

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<v Speaker 2>that he only stayed for the kids. Our mutual friends

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00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:14.120
<v Speaker 2>know better. They've seen how he changed over the past

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00:15:14.200 --> 00:15:17.399
<v Speaker 2>year and how happy we were before that. Several have

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00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:19.720
<v Speaker 2>shown me messages from him, trying to convince them to

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00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:24.120
<v Speaker 2>take his side, but they've been surprisingly supportive of me. Sarah,

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<v Speaker 2>his girl friend, finally reached out to me last week.

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<v Speaker 2>Apparently she had no idea Mark was still living with

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<v Speaker 2>me and the kids. He told her we'd been separated

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<v Speaker 2>for over a year and were just keeping up appearances

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<v Speaker 2>for family reasons. When she discovered the truth through mutual acquaintances,

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<v Speaker 2>she ended things with him. Now he's angry at both

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<v Speaker 2>of us, as if were somehow responsible for the consequences

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00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:51.240
<v Speaker 2>of his actions. She apologized profusely and offered to provide

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<v Speaker 2>a statement for my lawyer about when their relationship started

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00:15:53.879 --> 00:15:56.919
<v Speaker 2>and what Mark had told her about our marriage. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>focusing on rebuilding my life one day at a time.

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<v Speaker 2>I've started therapy for myself, return to my yoga practice,

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<v Speaker 2>and am spending more quality time with the kids. I've

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00:16:07.559 --> 00:16:10.200
<v Speaker 2>also started looking into going back to work full time.

284
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<v Speaker 2>I had scaled back to part time when Lucas was born,

285
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<v Speaker 2>but now I need to think about supporting my family

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<v Speaker 2>on my own. The lawyer fees are substantial, but every

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00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:22.360
<v Speaker 2>one assures me it's worth it to have proper representation

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<v Speaker 2>given the complexity of our situation. Mark's behavior continues to

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00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:30.600
<v Speaker 2>be erratic. Some days he's apologetic and wants to talk

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00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:34.080
<v Speaker 2>about reconciliation now that Sarah is gone. Other days he's

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00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:37.879
<v Speaker 2>angry and threatening. My lawyer has advised me to document

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00:16:37.960 --> 00:16:41.120
<v Speaker 2>all communication and only interact with him through official channels

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<v Speaker 2>or in the presence of witnesses. Update number two final.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey everyone, Sorry for taking so long to update. Life

295
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<v Speaker 2>has been absolutely crazy with the divorce proceedings, work, the kids,

296
00:16:54.159 --> 00:16:56.399
<v Speaker 2>and everything else. I know some of you have been

297
00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:59.360
<v Speaker 2>messaging me asking for updates. Thank you for your support,

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00:16:59.559 --> 00:17:01.919
<v Speaker 2>and I've finally have time to sit down and write this.

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<v Speaker 2>Eight months have passed since my last update, and after

300
00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:10.119
<v Speaker 2>what feels like endless court appearances, mediation sessions, and legal

301
00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:14.279
<v Speaker 2>back and forth, We've finally reached a resolution. The divorce

302
00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:17.400
<v Speaker 2>was finalized last week after nearly a year of proceedings,

303
00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:20.240
<v Speaker 2>and the terms are better than I expected, largely thanks

304
00:17:20.279 --> 00:17:23.359
<v Speaker 2>to the evidence we gathered and marks increasingly erratic behavior

305
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:27.359
<v Speaker 2>during the proceedings. The turning point in the legal negotiations

306
00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:29.880
<v Speaker 2>came about six months into the proceedings when Mark tried

307
00:17:29.880 --> 00:17:32.920
<v Speaker 2>to claim our house as his primary residence despite having

308
00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:35.640
<v Speaker 2>lived in his apartment alone from months after Sarah left him,

309
00:17:35.799 --> 00:17:39.279
<v Speaker 2>in an attempt to force its sale. To everyone's surprise,

310
00:17:39.640 --> 00:17:42.079
<v Speaker 2>he managed to convince Sarah to come to a mediation

311
00:17:42.279 --> 00:17:45.880
<v Speaker 2>session as his character witness. I guess he thought she'd

312
00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:50.160
<v Speaker 2>help his case since they'd been together. That backfired spectacularly

313
00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:53.079
<v Speaker 2>when she instead told the truth about their relationship timeline

314
00:17:53.079 --> 00:17:56.440
<v Speaker 2>and his lies, directly contradicting statements he'd made under oath

315
00:17:56.480 --> 00:18:00.000
<v Speaker 2>about when their relationship began. I later found out he'd

316
00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:02.279
<v Speaker 2>promised to make things right with her if she helped him,

317
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:05.839
<v Speaker 2>but she chose to be honest instead. His attempt to

318
00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:10.039
<v Speaker 2>control the narrative completely fell apart after that. The mediator's

319
00:18:10.039 --> 00:18:14.160
<v Speaker 2>report was scathing, noting Mark's pattern of deception and financial impropriety.

320
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<v Speaker 2>In the end, I'm keeping the house and primary custody

321
00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:21.240
<v Speaker 2>of the kids. Mark got his precious apartment in his

322
00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:25.160
<v Speaker 2>car plus visitation, writes that he'll probably barely use judging

323
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:28.359
<v Speaker 2>by his recent behavior. He's been ordered to pay back

324
00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:31.119
<v Speaker 2>the money he took from the children's college funds, plus

325
00:18:31.240 --> 00:18:34.599
<v Speaker 2>child support and a portion of my legal fees. The

326
00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:38.680
<v Speaker 2>financial settlement was more favorable than we initially hoped. The

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00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:42.119
<v Speaker 2>judge was particularly unimpressed with Mark's unauthorized use of our

328
00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:45.200
<v Speaker 2>joint funds and his attempts to hide assets. He's required

329
00:18:45.240 --> 00:18:47.720
<v Speaker 2>to repay every penny he took from the kid's college

330
00:18:47.720 --> 00:18:51.000
<v Speaker 2>funds plus interest, and the division of assets took into

331
00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:55.319
<v Speaker 2>account his previous spending on Sarah. His company's HR department

332
00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:58.799
<v Speaker 2>also got involved after discovering he'd been falsifying expense reports

333
00:18:58.799 --> 00:19:01.160
<v Speaker 2>to cover some of his personals spending, which led to

334
00:19:01.240 --> 00:19:04.319
<v Speaker 2>him being placed on probation at work. We've had to

335
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:08.200
<v Speaker 2>make some adjustments to the custody schedule. Mark's visits are

336
00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:11.200
<v Speaker 2>now strictly supervised after he tried to introduce the kids

337
00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:15.359
<v Speaker 2>to a new girlfriend without consulting me or their therapist. Yes,

338
00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:19.839
<v Speaker 2>he's already dating someone new. The supervision requirement will be

339
00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:22.559
<v Speaker 2>reviewed in six months, depending on his behavior and the

340
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:27.119
<v Speaker 2>children's progress in therapy. For now, it's working well. The

341
00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:31.559
<v Speaker 2>kids feel safer and there's less drama during handoffs. As

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00:19:31.559 --> 00:19:35.880
<v Speaker 2>for me, I'm starting to feel like myself again. I've

343
00:19:35.880 --> 00:19:39.200
<v Speaker 2>reconnected with old friends, started a small side business doing

344
00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:42.200
<v Speaker 2>freelance marketing work from home, and am even thinking about

345
00:19:42.279 --> 00:19:45.920
<v Speaker 2>dating again, though that's way in the future. To everyone

346
00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:50.160
<v Speaker 2>going through something similar, it gets better. Focus on yourself

347
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:53.160
<v Speaker 2>and your kids, document everything, and don't be afraid to

348
00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:57.240
<v Speaker 2>ask for help. There's life after betrayal, and sometimes it's

349
00:19:57.240 --> 00:19:58.559
<v Speaker 2>better than you could have imagined.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the end of the first story. Let's begin the

351
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<v Speaker 1>second one. I hope you enjoy this story. Selfish relatives

352
00:20:07.480 --> 00:20:10.160
<v Speaker 1>claim I coerced my father in law into providing us

353
00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:15.039
<v Speaker 1>with additional inheritance funds. I understand their perspective, but allow

354
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:18.759
<v Speaker 1>me to explain. My spouse and I previously had a

355
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:23.359
<v Speaker 1>strong bond with him, her parents, and Sill. A few

356
00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:26.359
<v Speaker 1>weeks ago was my sister's birthday, so we did a barbecue.

357
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<v Speaker 1>The two sides of the family don't mix. My sis

358
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:31.759
<v Speaker 1>has never met Syl, so it's not weird we didn't

359
00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:35.319
<v Speaker 1>invite them. My wife mentioned the barbecue to Syll, who

360
00:20:35.359 --> 00:20:38.519
<v Speaker 1>said how much they always enjoy leftovers from our b q's.

361
00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:41.359
<v Speaker 1>So my wife offered her a box. She said yes,

362
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<v Speaker 1>and we left it at the in laws for her.

363
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:46.480
<v Speaker 1>Since then, every time we've gone to the in laws,

364
00:20:46.519 --> 00:20:48.720
<v Speaker 1>my Sill slash Bill's cars have been in the lay

365
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:52.440
<v Speaker 1>by outside. We asked Phil. He says, Bill parks each night,

366
00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:56.440
<v Speaker 1>walks home, fetches Sill's car, and drives back, then walks

367
00:20:56.440 --> 00:21:00.160
<v Speaker 1>home again. He does this in reverse each morning. He

368
00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:04.440
<v Speaker 1>told Phil there's parking issues at home. Locked down is relaxed,

369
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<v Speaker 1>So yesterday we saw everybody all at once in my

370
00:21:07.079 --> 00:21:10.000
<v Speaker 1>in law's garden again. Both cars were parked in the

371
00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:12.400
<v Speaker 1>lay by outside, so I asked how come they took

372
00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:15.480
<v Speaker 1>two cars. My bill said parking is really difficult where

373
00:21:15.480 --> 00:21:18.359
<v Speaker 1>they live. Not true, and he just prefers to park

374
00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:20.480
<v Speaker 1>where he knows there will be a space. He had

375
00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:23.559
<v Speaker 1>walked there, taken a car home, then driven everyone back.

376
00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:26.759
<v Speaker 1>My wife said, could he try and squeeze up because

377
00:21:26.839 --> 00:21:29.240
<v Speaker 1>parking there makes it so much easier with baby and

378
00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:31.640
<v Speaker 1>toddler compared to crossing the road. But he said no,

379
00:21:32.039 --> 00:21:34.599
<v Speaker 1>you can't get three cars on there. You can. My

380
00:21:34.759 --> 00:21:37.200
<v Speaker 1>sill said, not nice when something's used up before you

381
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:40.319
<v Speaker 1>get yours, is it. We didn't ask what she meant.

382
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:43.599
<v Speaker 1>Last night my wife texted her sister apparently we have

383
00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:46.440
<v Speaker 1>upset them badly and the car thing is payment. We

384
00:21:46.519 --> 00:21:48.839
<v Speaker 1>had no idea, but it starts from when my wife's

385
00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:51.960
<v Speaker 1>grandma died a year ago for what was very outdated,

386
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:54.680
<v Speaker 1>and paid for my wife and sill to get driving lessons.

387
00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:57.559
<v Speaker 1>They both already drive, so her dad just split the

388
00:21:57.559 --> 00:21:59.799
<v Speaker 1>money down the middle between them. It was about ten

389
00:22:00.119 --> 00:22:02.680
<v Speaker 1>thousand pounds, a god sent for us. We had a

390
00:22:02.680 --> 00:22:05.680
<v Speaker 1>fairly new car so traded up to a proper dad wagon.

391
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<v Speaker 1>We had one thousand, eight hundred pounds left, which we

392
00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:13.240
<v Speaker 1>gave back. We didn't know, but this was then given

393
00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:16.599
<v Speaker 1>to Syll. This started problems because Syll slash Bill worked

394
00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:19.039
<v Speaker 1>out that we got eighteen thousand pounds for a car

395
00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:22.000
<v Speaker 1>trade and plus eight k from Grandma, and they only

396
00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:25.000
<v Speaker 1>got twelve thousand pounds. They think all the money should

397
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:27.799
<v Speaker 1>have gone to one pool then split in half. Instead

398
00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:30.480
<v Speaker 1>they got our leftovers. They have been looking at everything

399
00:22:30.519 --> 00:22:32.799
<v Speaker 1>we do as an insult, and the barbecue we sent

400
00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:35.480
<v Speaker 1>was the last straw. My sill referred to it as

401
00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:38.359
<v Speaker 1>table scraps and said it was insulting. This morning we

402
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:41.240
<v Speaker 1>went to the in laws to talk about it, and

403
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:43.480
<v Speaker 1>I said to my wife, if they ask why you're asking,

404
00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:46.240
<v Speaker 1>are you going to explain that Syll is being a

405
00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:49.599
<v Speaker 1>big old greedy twat. And it turns out my sill

406
00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:52.039
<v Speaker 1>was in the garden. She shouted, what did you OFFANGI

407
00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:55.279
<v Speaker 1>call me and now I'm obviously in trouble. She kept yelling,

408
00:22:55.319 --> 00:22:57.599
<v Speaker 1>so I took the dog and walked home. My wife

409
00:22:57.680 --> 00:22:59.440
<v Speaker 1>sent me a message. Do you want me to tell her?

410
00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:02.160
<v Speaker 1>You said so? And I said, ha hano and she responded,

411
00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:04.559
<v Speaker 1>not helping. I am pretty certain I was not the

412
00:23:04.599 --> 00:23:08.759
<v Speaker 1>asshole here originally, but I'd appreciate an outside perspective. Now

413
00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:11.519
<v Speaker 1>my big mouth has upset my wife's slash in laws,

414
00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:13.440
<v Speaker 1>which does make me in the wrong for sure on

415
00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:17.119
<v Speaker 1>that side. More info. So, first of all, I'm in

416
00:23:17.119 --> 00:23:19.400
<v Speaker 1>the UK, and I was definitely trying to use the

417
00:23:19.480 --> 00:23:22.079
<v Speaker 1>term lightly. My mill referred to the postman as a

418
00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:24.880
<v Speaker 1>cheeky towa just yesterday for taking a short cut across

419
00:23:24.920 --> 00:23:27.359
<v Speaker 1>her lawn, so it's in pretty common use in the family.

420
00:23:27.640 --> 00:23:30.480
<v Speaker 1>Screaming FK in front of children isn't, though, and I

421
00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:33.359
<v Speaker 1>am probably getting the blame for that. Someone else just

422
00:23:33.400 --> 00:23:35.799
<v Speaker 1>said to me, well, you didn't build the bonfire alone,

423
00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:38.079
<v Speaker 1>but you definitely through the match, which I think sums

424
00:23:38.119 --> 00:23:41.960
<v Speaker 1>it up pretty well. My wife says she's on my side,

425
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:44.680
<v Speaker 1>but before I opened my mouth big and wide like always,

426
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:48.359
<v Speaker 1>there weren't any sides, just a misunderstanding. Now, let me

427
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:51.960
<v Speaker 1>give a detailed explanation of the grandma's inheritance to backle. So,

428
00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:55.240
<v Speaker 1>my wife's grandma died without a proper will and everything

429
00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:57.960
<v Speaker 1>went to my fill. Her grandma was ninety four when

430
00:23:58.039 --> 00:24:00.960
<v Speaker 1>she died and it always said since she was seventy

431
00:24:01.000 --> 00:24:03.359
<v Speaker 1>that she never wanted to go into an old folks home.

432
00:24:03.559 --> 00:24:06.640
<v Speaker 1>Two allow that to happen. My Phil drove up there

433
00:24:06.680 --> 00:24:08.880
<v Speaker 1>two three times a week for at least the last

434
00:24:08.920 --> 00:24:12.559
<v Speaker 1>ten years. That's a one hundred ten mile round trip

435
00:24:12.599 --> 00:24:15.079
<v Speaker 1>each time, and in the last few months before she died,

436
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:17.759
<v Speaker 1>it was every day except when my work travel let

437
00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:20.039
<v Speaker 1>me call in so he could have a day off. Anyway.

438
00:24:20.319 --> 00:24:22.880
<v Speaker 1>Amongst her things, my Phil found a notebook like a

439
00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:25.680
<v Speaker 1>half will and half diary, and spent months and months

440
00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:27.640
<v Speaker 1>trying to work out what his mother would have wanted

441
00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:30.480
<v Speaker 1>for everyone, and then took to sharing out his money accordingly.

442
00:24:30.839 --> 00:24:33.279
<v Speaker 1>This is how he split that. He gave both families

443
00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:37.799
<v Speaker 1>eight k. Initially this was from Grandma's estate. Phil reached

444
00:24:37.799 --> 00:24:40.240
<v Speaker 1>out to every family member he could and gave every

445
00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:43.160
<v Speaker 1>one two k each. Our youngest wasn't born yet, but

446
00:24:43.240 --> 00:24:46.400
<v Speaker 1>he insisted on including her. This caused one of the problems.

447
00:24:46.680 --> 00:24:49.200
<v Speaker 1>My Phil and Bill think we pressured Phil into this.

448
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:52.519
<v Speaker 1>His mother was always worried about anyone feeling left out,

449
00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:54.920
<v Speaker 1>and this is one hundred percent what she would have wanted.

450
00:24:55.119 --> 00:24:57.319
<v Speaker 1>Although many of us tried to persuade him to keep

451
00:24:57.359 --> 00:25:00.519
<v Speaker 1>more for himself. He then spent about six months working

452
00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:03.440
<v Speaker 1>out his mum's finances. She had little bits of money

453
00:25:03.480 --> 00:25:06.599
<v Speaker 1>all over, literally dozens of accounts, and the car money

454
00:25:06.599 --> 00:25:09.279
<v Speaker 1>came out of that an investment account with about twenty

455
00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:11.839
<v Speaker 1>k in it. She had written that she had specifically

456
00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:14.599
<v Speaker 1>opened this account for driving lessons slash cars for my

457
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:17.039
<v Speaker 1>wife and her sister. So we spent what we got

458
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:19.680
<v Speaker 1>on a car upgrade and returned the rest. We felt

459
00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:22.119
<v Speaker 1>this honored her wishes, but didn't want to take advantage

460
00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:24.319
<v Speaker 1>of Phil when he is retired and were not and

461
00:25:24.359 --> 00:25:27.119
<v Speaker 1>it was his money. He also sold her bungalow and

462
00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:29.039
<v Speaker 1>we had to stop him from trying to give all

463
00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:32.960
<v Speaker 1>that away too. Definitely, none of us have the right

464
00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:35.519
<v Speaker 1>to feel hard done by. We also got to go

465
00:25:35.559 --> 00:25:38.359
<v Speaker 1>on holiday with the family because grandma had left several

466
00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:41.440
<v Speaker 1>thousand pounds in an account specifically for that. It was

467
00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:44.279
<v Speaker 1>three weeks in Italy and the best holiday I've ever had.

468
00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:47.079
<v Speaker 1>Sill and her family didn't come because Bill had just

469
00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:50.000
<v Speaker 1>started his own business and couldn't come away. I've now

470
00:25:50.079 --> 00:25:52.119
<v Speaker 1>found out they wanted to go, but had to ask

471
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:54.559
<v Speaker 1>Phil for their share in cash because they were really

472
00:25:54.599 --> 00:25:58.240
<v Speaker 1>struggling with money, so when we sent them postcards and

473
00:25:58.279 --> 00:26:00.839
<v Speaker 1>took them gifts, it was like rubbing Saul into the wound,

474
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:03.559
<v Speaker 1>but we honestly didn't realize and we were really sorry

475
00:26:03.559 --> 00:26:06.720
<v Speaker 1>my niece and nephew couldn't come. In summary, our family

476
00:26:06.759 --> 00:26:10.079
<v Speaker 1>and Sill's family both got eight k, initially split two

477
00:26:10.160 --> 00:26:12.920
<v Speaker 1>k each for two parents and two kids in each family,

478
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:15.680
<v Speaker 1>then ten k more each a few months later, and

479
00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:18.720
<v Speaker 1>the holiday, meaning each family got a total of eighteen

480
00:26:18.839 --> 00:26:22.799
<v Speaker 1>K from our share, we returned one point eight k. Anyway,

481
00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:25.720
<v Speaker 1>with this whole drama, it would have probably been better

482
00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:29.279
<v Speaker 1>if we had not returned the money. My wife says

483
00:26:29.319 --> 00:26:31.079
<v Speaker 1>there is more stuff and she will talk to me

484
00:26:31.119 --> 00:26:33.680
<v Speaker 1>about it later. I will wait and see what she says,

485
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:35.680
<v Speaker 1>but I am starting to think I am definitely in

486
00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:39.359
<v Speaker 1>the wrong here. Update. I have talked to my wife.

487
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.000
<v Speaker 1>She has been talking to her sister all afternoon and

488
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:43.960
<v Speaker 1>she is probably going to stay at her mom's to

489
00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:46.400
<v Speaker 1>night to talk more. From what has been said today,

490
00:26:46.440 --> 00:26:49.200
<v Speaker 1>it looks like an honest misunderstanding has got out of hand,

491
00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:51.119
<v Speaker 1>and my Sill and Bill have taken a lot of

492
00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:54.079
<v Speaker 1>things badly that I really didn't t mean I am

493
00:26:54.200 --> 00:26:57.440
<v Speaker 1>very thick skinned and always think, ah, they probably didn't

494
00:26:57.720 --> 00:27:00.119
<v Speaker 1>t mean it like that to anything offensive, and it

495
00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:02.359
<v Speaker 1>has caused problems in the past when I forget not

496
00:27:02.480 --> 00:27:06.319
<v Speaker 1>everyone thinks this way. My big mouth has got me

497
00:27:06.359 --> 00:27:08.640
<v Speaker 1>in trouble a lot in the past. My Sill was

498
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:11.680
<v Speaker 1>uncomfortable raising this, and Bill started parking the cars in

499
00:27:11.720 --> 00:27:13.759
<v Speaker 1>that way so that my wife would notice and they

500
00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:17.160
<v Speaker 1>could talk it through. Unfortunately, we have not really paid attention,

501
00:27:17.279 --> 00:27:19.680
<v Speaker 1>and they thought we were deliberately refusing to mention it.

502
00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:22.359
<v Speaker 1>I have listed some things below that my wife has

503
00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:24.640
<v Speaker 1>talked about to day, and I one hundred percent see

504
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:27.160
<v Speaker 1>where everyone is coming from. But I genuinely didn't know

505
00:27:27.240 --> 00:27:30.240
<v Speaker 1>most of this was going on and didn't mean to

506
00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:34.440
<v Speaker 1>upset anyone. Dash My pill included our unborn daughter in

507
00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:37.640
<v Speaker 1>the inheritance from his mom. Sill and Bill are convinced

508
00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I pressured him into this. When she was born. He

509
00:27:40.039 --> 00:27:42.640
<v Speaker 1>gave her a check for one thousand pounds. He has

510
00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:45.880
<v Speaker 1>done this for all his grandkids and I said something like, Wow,

511
00:27:46.200 --> 00:27:49.440
<v Speaker 1>the richest baby in all the land. And they both

512
00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:52.000
<v Speaker 1>took this badly, like I had won the argument and

513
00:27:52.119 --> 00:27:54.200
<v Speaker 1>was gloating. They have it in their heads that I

514
00:27:54.240 --> 00:27:56.680
<v Speaker 1>think I am entitled to inheritance because I used to

515
00:27:56.720 --> 00:27:59.200
<v Speaker 1>visit their grandma, But it was only because my work

516
00:27:59.240 --> 00:28:01.559
<v Speaker 1>took me close and their dad was driving over one

517
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:04.279
<v Speaker 1>hundred miles every day to look after her. Phil had

518
00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:06.559
<v Speaker 1>settled this, but when I said that, it just confirmed

519
00:28:06.599 --> 00:28:10.319
<v Speaker 1>their suspicions. Dash. The first time we saw them after

520
00:28:10.359 --> 00:28:12.559
<v Speaker 1>Corona started being a thing, my Bill told me he

521
00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:15.079
<v Speaker 1>quit his job in February to start his own business.

522
00:28:15.079 --> 00:28:17.400
<v Speaker 1>I said, you bad timing, meaning that with c V

523
00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:19.599
<v Speaker 1>nineteen it is an awful time to try and get

524
00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:22.440
<v Speaker 1>a business going. Both Bill and Syll took this very

525
00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:25.759
<v Speaker 1>badly and believed I was criticizing his business idea. I

526
00:28:25.799 --> 00:28:28.319
<v Speaker 1>definitely am not. It is not an area I know

527
00:28:28.400 --> 00:28:32.440
<v Speaker 1>anything about. But I didn't notice how upset they were. Dash.

528
00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:34.799
<v Speaker 1>The thing with the car I have already explained, but

529
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:38.279
<v Speaker 1>this is where the whole leftover's thing comes from. When

530
00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:40.519
<v Speaker 1>her dad gave them the extra money, he said it

531
00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:44.240
<v Speaker 1>was our leftovers as a joke. I never used this phrase,

532
00:28:44.279 --> 00:28:46.240
<v Speaker 1>and I did not know he had given this money

533
00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:49.079
<v Speaker 1>to them. She told my wife that they have to

534
00:28:49.119 --> 00:28:51.440
<v Speaker 1>have two cars and could not afford what we got

535
00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:53.839
<v Speaker 1>a Kia Sportage, and when I took it round to

536
00:28:53.839 --> 00:28:56.279
<v Speaker 1>show them, I was really rubbing it in her husband's face.

537
00:28:56.640 --> 00:28:59.000
<v Speaker 1>This I feel really awful about because I did ring

538
00:28:59.079 --> 00:29:00.680
<v Speaker 1>him on my way home, and I did want to

539
00:29:00.680 --> 00:29:03.279
<v Speaker 1>show off. I have never had a car that knew before.

540
00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:07.440
<v Speaker 1>I genuinely didn't know they had money problems Dash. In

541
00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:09.200
<v Speaker 1>the past few months, I have said a lot of

542
00:29:09.240 --> 00:29:11.400
<v Speaker 1>things that looking back, really does look like I was

543
00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:14.720
<v Speaker 1>trying to get at them when lockdown started. They didn't

544
00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:16.960
<v Speaker 1>have a PC, so I got them our laptop and

545
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:20.240
<v Speaker 1>printer so the kids could do their school work. Bill

546
00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:22.839
<v Speaker 1>got some games for it, but they wouldn't run. It's

547
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:26.519
<v Speaker 1>not a gaming p C, so he wasted his money there,

548
00:29:26.519 --> 00:29:29.400
<v Speaker 1>which caused a big fight. Still asked me by text

549
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:31.640
<v Speaker 1>how old the laptop was, and I replied to know

550
00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:35.640
<v Speaker 1>a couple of years, which she took again as leftovers.

551
00:29:35.839 --> 00:29:37.880
<v Speaker 1>When I got her text, I did not realize an

552
00:29:37.960 --> 00:29:41.160
<v Speaker 1>argument was going on at home DASH. When I got

553
00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:43.920
<v Speaker 1>the laptop, I saw our old Xbox three sixty and

554
00:29:43.960 --> 00:29:45.640
<v Speaker 1>we in the cupboard and said we might as well

555
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:48.079
<v Speaker 1>pass them on. We're never going to use them again.

556
00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:51.200
<v Speaker 1>They are not a tech heavy family and have never

557
00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:53.480
<v Speaker 1>had a console to my knowledge, so my nephew and

558
00:29:53.559 --> 00:29:55.680
<v Speaker 1>niece were real happy. But Bill knows that as some

559
00:29:55.799 --> 00:29:58.640
<v Speaker 1>old tech and was not impressed. Again, I didn't tea

560
00:29:58.759 --> 00:30:02.079
<v Speaker 1>know this. On a family zoom call, I asked my

561
00:30:02.200 --> 00:30:04.440
<v Speaker 1>nephew if he played Skyrim, and when he said no,

562
00:30:04.599 --> 00:30:06.559
<v Speaker 1>I made a big show of saying I only gave

563
00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:08.920
<v Speaker 1>him the Xbox so we could talk about Skyrim for

564
00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:11.279
<v Speaker 1>hours and he should play it well. After the call,

565
00:30:11.400 --> 00:30:13.519
<v Speaker 1>he told syl slash Bill that I said I had

566
00:30:13.519 --> 00:30:15.599
<v Speaker 1>given the Xbox to him, not the family, and he

567
00:30:15.640 --> 00:30:17.720
<v Speaker 1>should be allowed to play it. I don't think I

568
00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:20.039
<v Speaker 1>am to blame for this argument, but it is definitely

569
00:30:20.039 --> 00:30:23.519
<v Speaker 1>my words that have led to it. Dash the barbecue thing.

570
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:26.599
<v Speaker 1>I love cooking, and whenever I do barbecue, I keep

571
00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:29.640
<v Speaker 1>going for several hours to do barbecue boxes for various

572
00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:33.240
<v Speaker 1>family and friends. I believe they are quite generous. For example,

573
00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:35.599
<v Speaker 1>the ones after my sister's birthday each had half a

574
00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:39.200
<v Speaker 1>chicken and along with some ribs, sausages and a steak skewer.

575
00:30:39.480 --> 00:30:42.440
<v Speaker 1>I always always call these boxes leftovers, so no one

576
00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:45.359
<v Speaker 1>feels awkward taking it. It is not meant to indicate

577
00:30:45.400 --> 00:30:48.480
<v Speaker 1>that it isn't good food or anything. When I took

578
00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:50.359
<v Speaker 1>them to my in laws, no one was in and

579
00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:53.319
<v Speaker 1>the boxes were not the same, no spicy coating. So

580
00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:55.920
<v Speaker 1>I wrote Sill's Lovely Leftovers and mark her pen on

581
00:30:55.960 --> 00:30:58.319
<v Speaker 1>her box and put them both in the fridge. After

582
00:30:58.319 --> 00:31:01.799
<v Speaker 1>the thing with the car, the laptop, the Xbox and everything,

583
00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:03.839
<v Speaker 1>it really really looked like I was just trying to

584
00:31:03.880 --> 00:31:05.680
<v Speaker 1>rub it in that we have more money than them

585
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:09.079
<v Speaker 1>and make her as angry as possible. So yeah, I

586
00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:11.319
<v Speaker 1>have not been trying to upset anyone, but with my

587
00:31:11.400 --> 00:31:13.799
<v Speaker 1>big mouth, I can see from their point of view,

588
00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:16.680
<v Speaker 1>I am one hundred percent the asshole. Each individual thing

589
00:31:16.759 --> 00:31:18.559
<v Speaker 1>I can kind of explain, but when you take it

590
00:31:18.599 --> 00:31:21.319
<v Speaker 1>all together, it's pretty awful. I know people are saying

591
00:31:21.319 --> 00:31:23.799
<v Speaker 1>I'm not at fault, and I appreciate that it is

592
00:31:23.839 --> 00:31:27.039
<v Speaker 1>helping me feel better about things, But sil slash Bill

593
00:31:27.079 --> 00:31:29.359
<v Speaker 1>have been arguing a lot over the last few months,

594
00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:31.960
<v Speaker 1>and every single argument they can trace back to something

595
00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:35.200
<v Speaker 1>I've said or done which kicked it off in one

596
00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:38.319
<v Speaker 1>way or another. A lot of the time they thought

597
00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:40.720
<v Speaker 1>I knew about an argument they had or liked the

598
00:31:40.759 --> 00:31:43.480
<v Speaker 1>money thing with my fill, but I honestly didn't know

599
00:31:43.519 --> 00:31:47.200
<v Speaker 1>and didn't realize my comments were upsetting them. I didn't

600
00:31:47.240 --> 00:31:49.000
<v Speaker 1>mean to start to wear thin when you hear the

601
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:51.799
<v Speaker 1>tenth different way you caused a screaming match. I can

602
00:31:51.839 --> 00:31:54.480
<v Speaker 1>remember my own granddad saying to me after I dropped

603
00:31:54.480 --> 00:31:56.599
<v Speaker 1>something on his head, just because it was an accident

604
00:31:56.599 --> 00:31:58.599
<v Speaker 1>doesn't mean it didn't hurt, and I need to respect

605
00:31:58.640 --> 00:32:00.519
<v Speaker 1>that I have caused a lot of pain that hurts

606
00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:02.680
<v Speaker 1>just the same, regardless of how it was meant at

607
00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:06.319
<v Speaker 1>the time. And b t W. My wife didn't even

608
00:32:06.359 --> 00:32:08.680
<v Speaker 1>mention the name calling from this morning when she came

609
00:32:08.759 --> 00:32:09.000
<v Speaker 1>home