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Speaker 1: Today, I'm really excited to introduce you to someone who

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is very passionate about helping people make the most of

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their retirement years. He's an author, a speaker, and the

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voice behind achieve more retirement. It's a philosophy, I think,

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and we'll learn more that kind of challenges us to

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think bigger about.

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Speaker 2: What retirement can truly be.

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Speaker 1: So instead of slowing down in retirement, Martin encourages us

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to lean in, to grow, to contribute, and to create

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a life filled with purpose and possibility. So I think

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you guys are really going to enjoy this conversation today.

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Welcome Martin Hrobert.

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Speaker 3: That is probably the best intro I've ever heard. Marine

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thank you so much. I'm flattered.

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Speaker 1: Ah well, I am honored that you're here with us today.

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Speaker 2: So let's get started and talking about retirement.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 1: I talk to so many different people about retirement. There's

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kind of almost.

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Speaker 3: Two schools of thought.

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Speaker 1: There's some people that leave their job and they're so

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excited and passionate and they have so many plans.

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Speaker 2: But then there's some people that leave their job and

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think it's going to.

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Speaker 1: Be easier than it is, and they feel a little

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bit empty or maybe they feel a little bit lonely,

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So can you maybe share some thoughts around that and

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how they can best prepare for their retirement.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I love this phrase that we should not retire

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from something but to something. Yeah, so you describe yet

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two different groups of people and those who are happy

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and enjoying life and you know, doing the things you're

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doing all the you know, who would have thought you

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started a Facebook group with all there? Yeah, but you

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did it right, and you seem to be a pretty

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happy person. And there are those who will retire and

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sit in their bedroom in front of the TV for

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I mean hours and hours and hours at the time.

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Sometimes that's all they do and they're not happy. So

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have something you're retiring too. And now I'll also say

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this for a lot of this in an adult life.

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During our careers, we get a sense of identity from

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our career, a sense of purpose, even while our social

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connections are through work. And that's fine, that's wonderful. But

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when we stop working, we lose those social connections that

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we had and if we don't have them outside of work,

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that transaction or that transition, excuse me, can be challenging. Yeah,

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can I share with my book. Here a little bit

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about it. Yes, of course, I wrote a book called

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The Happier Retirement hand Book, and I want to read

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you just the opening paragraph. Un tell me if you agree.

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After working hard for decades, retirement is easy, nothing but

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endless relaxation, adventures and naps. Right, maybe not so much.

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About five years ago, I took an advanced course to

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be a certified retirement counselor. And one thing that really

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stood out and that training was this, eighty percent of

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people before they get to retirement think it would be

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the best part of life. Now, those who would get

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there actually retired, only forty percent agree. So our expectations

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are up here, it's gonna be awesome, it's gonna be amazing,

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and then the realities are down here. There's a big

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disconnect between those two things. And I think it's in

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part because most of the retirement books out there deal

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with one topic money, How to make your money grow,

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how to protect your money, income strategies, tax production strategies,

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and those are important. We need a good financial foundation,

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but boy, happiness in life in general and in retirement

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is so much more than money. Another thing that course

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taught me to be a certified retirement counselor. Is that

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the boomers they love to share stories, their own stories.

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They like to have people listen to them, and they

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also like to hear other people's stories. They're social creatures.

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So when I wrote this book, here was my vision

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for it. My plan was to give it away. So

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it's a free download. It's on Amazon. If you buy

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it there, I'll make fifty cents, So thank you if

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you do that. Okay, But here's why envision people would

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get this book and they would gather with five or

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ten friends once a week and have a discussion. I

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have twelve steps here. When I wrote the book. As

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I was doing it, I added three bonus steps. It

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was actually fifteen. So, Marie, my vision for this, I

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guess you call it a book, is really to create

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a national dialogue on happiness in retirement, to share stories

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of people just like you and I are trying to

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figure it out and we all learn from each other.

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Matter of fact, I want to share with you a

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story from the first step. Okay, please do. And one

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of the first keys to happenings retirement social connections. We

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need social connections. Studies have found that loneliness is epidemic

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in retirement, and lonliness is dangerous. In fact, they found

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that people who are lonely their life expectancy is shortened

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by the same amount as smoking fifteen cigarettes per day.

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Oh so yes, loneliness is as deadly as smoking. Holy

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And when I took that course, they also told me,

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and this does not apply to you, It doesn't apply

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to me either. But they said that the average person

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over sixty five has four social connections per month, per month,

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per month. That means like one day a week they're

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talking to someone, a friend, a colleague, someone that they

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know in six days a week to buy themselves. They're

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just so, isn't that sad?

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Speaker 2: Who is that? That's the average retire.

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Speaker 3: Well according to the yeah, the school that taught that course. Yeah,

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the average course, the average person was sixty five, sixty five.

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So let me read this deal. This is from Social Connection.

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It's a story of John.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: So John had been the life of the office, and

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that can be a challenge post office. Right, He was

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a as a socializer. He was a life of the office,

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surrounded by colleagues and constant chatter. When he retired, the

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silence at home became deafening now. Initially he reveled in

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the freedom of no alarm clock, but within a few

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months he started to feel isolated. His wife had passed

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away a few years earlier, the kids were scattered across

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the country and busy with their own lives. Loneliness began

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to creep in. One day, while walking aimlessly through a park,

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he nosed a group of seniors gathered around a garden

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plot sharing stories. Intrigued, he walked over and started a

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conversation that he wasn't shy. The group was part of

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a local gardening club, and they invited him to join. Now,

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despite not knowing much about plants, John decided to give

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it a try. Over time, he was an integral part

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of the group. They not only gardened, but they had

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weekly coffee meetups, They exchanged book recommendations, and even took

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trips together. For John, these friendships he developed through the

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club were transformative. His days no longer felt long and empty.

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He rediscovered the joy of connection. John realized that retirement

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wasn't about solitude, It's about creating a new community.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, So, what are some recommendations you could give or

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thoughts around how to create those new communities and get

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those friends when you retire, because you lose, not lose them,

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but they change.

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Speaker 3: So what I would say, Yeah, they do change, sometimes

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you even lose them. I was teaching a class based

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on this book at the University of Utah last fall.

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There was a retired doctor in the class. Okay, I said, Martin,

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I love my staff. They loved me. We've got together great,

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and I thought we would continue those friendships. And from

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the day he retired, not a single person reached out

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to him afterwards to say, Hey, how you doing. How's life?

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You know, let's have lunch. So we had to create

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a new group. So one thing is like John and story. John,

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you know, there's opportunities all around us, so you can

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maybe explore some past hobbies. When I got married, I've

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been a guitarist my whole life. I love I played

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in a rock and roll band right now. But about

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age twenty five, I got married and the finny thing happened.

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When I got married, I had to put rock and

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roll to the side to start a family, start my career,

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get through school, raise the kids. I literally touched my

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guitar maybe once or twice per year for about twenty

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years and then for me is my mid forties. But

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my mid forties, a neighbors said, hey, Martin, you want

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to be my band. My wife said, yeah, you know,

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get out the house, go do something. So I joined

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this band that was fifteen years ago, but ever since then,

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I've been in a rock and roll band. And it's

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it's passion. It's a passion of I'm great friends with

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my bandmates. So you might look at things you used

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to enjoy when you were younger and rekindle those things.

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There may be things that maybe you want to do

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but life got in the way, just didn't do. Yeah,

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so's just see what your passion is and it'll be

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different for you than this. For me, there's probably not

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a lot of people who would want to wear a

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kilt and stand on a picnic table playing guitar like

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I do. And please don't try and picture.

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Speaker 2: That that's where I was going.

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Speaker 3: But it happened. It happened, so yeah, and then yes,

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if you're looking for it, I think it's more likely

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to happen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I always say to try to find other people

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in the same stage of life that you're in as well.

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So if you have a center for retired people in

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your community, if you have people that play cards, if

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you like cards, something something that in the same stage

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of life, because then they're also looking for the same

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thing that you're looking for.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, and that's kind of a good segue

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into another one of the steps. Yeah, I guess that

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is lifelong learning.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. That's one of my favorites.

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Speaker 3: You gotta keep going. I'm going to read again a

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story here from the book. And that's what this book is.

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It's just a bunch of stories. If people can get together,

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read them, discuss them, and then give their own input

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from it. But Yirk, we'll talk about Maria. Maria had

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always been passionate about learning. As a young woman, she

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had dreamed of studying art history and what a cool degree.

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But life took a different path. How often does that happen? Right?

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Speaker 1: Every day?

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Speaker 3: She became a nurse, raised a family, and spent decades

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caring for others. When she retired at age sixty five,

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she was grateful for the time she had in her career,

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but she couldn't shake the feeling that there was still

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so much more she hadn't explored. So one evening, while

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scrolling through social media, she came across an advertisement for

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an online art history course. Remember the young woman. She

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wanted that to learn first of the art history. She hesitated,

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wondering if it was too late to pursue her passion,

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but something inside her tour her to go for it now.

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The first week of course, it was challenging. Navigating the

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online platform was unfamiliar, and she was frounded by younger students,

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so she felt kind of out of place. But Maria

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soon realized her age was an advantage. She had the

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time and the patience to delve deeply into the material,

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and her life experiences gave a unique perspective that no

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one else in the class had, and she was happy

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to contribute. So she engaged in discussions, started visiting local museums,

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and it was wonderful. I can remember when I was

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in high school and in college, I didn't really like

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studying history that much because what there was a quiz,

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There's gonna be a test, I had to write a paper,

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I had to think overthink it too much. Now I

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love history. My wife and I went to Europe for

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three weeks in August, to Rome, to Scotland and to

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Spain and seeing that the history that exists in Europe.

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If you haven't been there anyone, you know, do what

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you can if you can afford it. But boy, Europe

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is amazing. Yeah, and so now I love historical fiction

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on TV. So yeah, we can find those things right

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and explore it. Now, something else I think here that

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is a I think you get to learn from Maria's story.

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There is she was afraid. Initially I was just going

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to go there, and so now fear in retirement is

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a big deal also throughout our life. So with that

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in mind, I had to write a second book, and

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this is actually a short story. I've got time. You know,

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I still work as a financial planner. I've got about

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forty five clients and I love them the death and

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love me. I think I'll work for as long as

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I possibly can. But I don't work that hard because

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it's not you know, not that So I work fifteen

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twenty hours a week and I love it. Yeah, so

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I have time to be in a rock and roll event.

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I had time to write this book, How David Defeated Fear,

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and it's good.

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Speaker 2: This one I have seen before. It's great, So keep going.

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Speaker 3: Once again, you can buy an Amazon, I'll make thirty

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seven cents. But it's also on a website called how

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David Defeated Fear dot com. Carments ways and you could

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you could watch a video of me reading the entire book.

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But I'll give you a little background first and then

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a synopsis. Okay, when I talk about overcoming fear, I

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don't mean fear of you know, you're about to be

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over by car. If you're in the middle of the street,

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cars coming down, you should probably step aside. So not

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physical danger, but the fears that hold us back is

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a fear of rejection or a fear of failure. And

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here's where that comes from from. Most of humanity we

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lived in small groups of thirty or forty people. Are tribes,

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and we depended on each other to survive. So marine,

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if you're out there, you know, wandering around the wilderness

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looking for berries to eat or some small you know

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game that you could you could eat, what would happen

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if you were kicked out of your group and forced

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to live alone.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'd cry my eyes out first of all. But

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it would be really difficult.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be very difficult, and it may be

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life threatening. That there's a good chance that you would

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not survive if you were kicked out. All right, let's

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call it rejected by your tribe. So our brains learned

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for our own survival benefit, to make fitting in a

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top priority. We have a very strong instinctive desire to

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seek out love, approval, and acceptance from our tribe or

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our peers or people around us while trying to avoid

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the pain of failure and rejection. And I say pained

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because it actually can be painful. Scientists have studied the

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brain and found that our brain will process social rejection

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and almost the exact same way it processes physical pain. Oh,

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so that's why I can feel like, you know, you

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get in you know that guy feeling in your stomach

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when she says no to the prom which is for

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me a long long time ago, right, or where that

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rejection may be. And so yeah, we want to protect ourselves.

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That's where it comes from, that fear of fear and rejection.

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In fact, there's a peak performance expert named Ty Bennett.

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He's a friend of mine, did a massive study and

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he found that fear of failure is a number one

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thing that holds us back from living the life of

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our dreams.

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Speaker 2: So how did David defeat the Fear?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'll tell you. I'll give you a synopsis of

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the story. You're okay, okay. So it takes place in Scotland,

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because I was born in Scotland, so why not. And

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there's a town that used to be growing and prosperous

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and people were just loving life until a dragon came

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to town. And this was not an ordinary dragon. Dragon

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didn't demand tribute, it didn't steal sheep. The dragon guarded

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the path to anything new, different, or exciting. This dragon

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would not let people dream, and if they tried the dream,

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he would fly through the air, you know, spewing forth fire,

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and it all hide in the darkness until the dragon

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went away. The dragon's name was Fear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No one dared to confront Fear, so the townspeople soon

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learned to put their heads down, stick the routine, and

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not look elsewhere. Now there was an exception to this rule,

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though the children had not yet learned about the dragon.

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The children hadn't learned about Fear, so they played and

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they explored, they treating big dreams. But as they grew,

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their families and their town taught them to about Fear Yeah,

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and they learned the best thing to do was just

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against stick the routine. Now there's a young man named

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David in the story who is He learns about fear,

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but deep inside he wonders, man, what if dreams are

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worth the risk? I don't know, but even thinking that

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felt dangerous until he meant a wise old poet on

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the edge of town, and he kind of explains his

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dilema to the wise old poet. The poet pulls out

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a golden envelope. I love it right here, and he

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explains to David, I have him here three ancient poems

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that will teach to the secret to overcoming the fears

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that hold you back in life, and he begins to

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show these one by one. Now, first of all, he

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introduces the first poem this way. You know, we go

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through life and we have these dreams and we want

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to pursue them. But we're looking for, oftentimes something outside

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of ourselves for the answer. If someone else will come along,

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as something else will, if this will happen, I'll be happy,

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this will happen. I'll go for it. And he teaches

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David that the real answers are within us, that there's us.

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I call it a divine spark. This light in inside

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all of us. This light connects us all as human beings,

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is love. And when we begin to operate and or

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fan the flames of love, we see things more clearly.

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And he shared the first film, which right now I'll

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share with you and the listeners. I love this poem.

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I actually wrote up for my granddaughter, which she was

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born five years ago, which kind of started me writing poetry.

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Who would have thought, right, right, It's called divine spark.

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A divine spark from Heaven above lies within. We call

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it love, a special light to show the way and

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guide your path each end every day, in trouble times

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and good times too. It will help you know just

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what to do. So hold on to love and don't

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let go. Let your light shine so the whole world

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will know we're all connected through the power of love,

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the ultimate gift from Heaven above. So to overcome that fear,

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we need to really look within ourselves. We have the answers,

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and if not, we know where to find them. So

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that's the first listening taught them well. The poete went

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on to tell David that you know, rather than looking within,

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we look these outside sources and we fill our days

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with noise, endless tasks, all on social media for too

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many hours a day, or the TV, or with all

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this busy work, rather than look within. And this busy

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work it gives us some relief from our fears, but

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it's a temporary relief and at quite a cost because

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it does block the connection to that spark within ourselves.

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So we shared the second poem, this one. I don't

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mind telling you and the listeners, it was really special

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for me. I was driving to my father's grave for

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the first time since his burial, in the middle of California,

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a bunch of farm fields, like we say here in

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America the boondocks, all by myself for about an hour,

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and I was wondering, what would my father tell me

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if you could? Oh, and these thoughts, these thoughts came

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to my mind, and I don't I also want to sharing.

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He was a hard worker. You know, I live all

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around the world because of his job, so I'm very

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grateful for that. But he had no connections outside of work.

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At age sixty five, her retirety, he sat in his

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bedroom and he just slowly went away. He died ten

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years later, just kind of stop living. Ah, So that's

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some background which I hope makes the poem even more powerful.

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It's called break free. I'm not afraid of dying for me,

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it holds no sting. I am more afraid of living

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and to let my true voice sing. What holds me

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back from doing all that I can do, to bless

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the world around me and live my life in truth?

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The things which do not matter to them, I give

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my time. The things which do not matter are robbing

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me so blind. No more such beauty all around me.

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If I will choose to see success and life fulfillment

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are waiting there for me. Peace and understanding and a

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life based not on fear come from taking action and

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is oh so very near. So I will keep on doing,

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and do and do again. The strength and courage needed

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have always been within. Than when I die, I'll know

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I've done all within my power. We rest in peace

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by living now, in this very hour. Wow.

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Speaker 2: Wow, and that's so very true.

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Speaker 1: M hm.

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Speaker 3: So I would tell tell you and anyone listening, Yeah,

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live in the moment, live now, don't wait for something

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to change or get better, and especially be aware of

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those distractions. They're they're very very costly. One of my

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favorite Coaches of All Times by David Bowie, and you

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might remember the one I'm referring to rock stars know

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Everything Right, And David Bowie said that aging is an

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extraordinary process where you become the person you always should

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have been. Wow, And that's especially true in retirement. You know,

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I'm a fanchip planner. I manage a whole bunch of money,

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and I dress like this every day for work. I

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wear bright colored shirts. I wear jeans and nice shoes.

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If they say, Martin, howe you been an advisor for I say,

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long enough to not wear a tie A right on.

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And I used to have a partner who's very type

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a personality, always wore ties, expensive suits, and you like

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to use like really big words. And we separate about

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four years ago. And I'm much happier now, and I

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wish them all the best, of course, but we're very,

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very different. And I am now flourishing becoming who I

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really want to be, like writing this book, you know,

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the Happier Retirement hand book, writing this how David defeated fear.

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That's who I am. Yes, So I am becoming who

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And I imagine right now you probably hopefully are more of

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the person you always should have been, maybe more so

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than your word during your career.

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Speaker 1: Without a doubt, without a doubt, I'm now I focus

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my days, for the most part, on things I want

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to do rather than things I have to do.

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Speaker 3: Right, Okay, So the poet told people to look within,

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to be wary of these distractions. How much it really

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cost us. Here's the last thing he said. Okay, this

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is why again I wrote the book the way I

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did to create discussion, because I can't tell you how

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to be happy in retirement, right, but I can maybe

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plant some sea that begin the thought process. And so

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the poet told David that in this town besieged by

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the dragon, they were taught to not stand out, to

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not be themselves, to always just try and fit in.

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And he says to David, listen, you are never meant

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to be like anyone else. From the day you were born.

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There's never been another U, and there never will be.

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And the world has made better not by people just

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fitt in the mold, but by people who break free,

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who shine their own light the way they're supposed to shine,

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whether it's starting a Facebook group, join a rock and

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roll band, or writing a book yeah or or I

436
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don't like gardening. I hate gardening, but for some it's wonderful, right,

437
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So we got to discover the real less So this

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is the last poem, and it's probably my favorite of

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all time. But this one I created a separate book

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called only One You, just for small children. I guessually

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here that's my granddaughter in the illustration. So this poem

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still only one you. There's only one you. This much

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is true, and it's quite amazing what one you can do.

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Don't ever doubt for even a minute. The world is

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better because you are in it. The bumps and bruises

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and lessons learned give you strength and wisdom. It's something

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you've earned. Release your fears and choose hope instead. Focus

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your gaze on the goals up ahead. Light up your

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candle and let it shine. Trust in yourself, and then

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you will find peace from within and the answers you're missing.

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When you hear that small voice, make sure that you listen.

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Then take a step and another once more, hold your

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head high as you open the door. We're all unique

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in our own special way. Your gifts matter, and come

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what may. Remember, don't ever doubt for even a minute

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the world is better because you are in it.

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Speaker 2: Wonderful.

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Speaker 3: I gave that book to all my neighbors for Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Oh how cool.

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Speaker 3: And I was just walking down the street just yesterday

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and I saw a neighbor there. She's got a four

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year old son, and I said, hey, does he like

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the book? She said, yes, You know, we have a

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lot of books in the house. He keeps asking for

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that book, specifically because he loves a message, he loves illustrations.

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So yeah, My goal marine is I want to inspire

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the world. I really do. And so what a good

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place to be where I get a chance to do that.

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And of course you're inspiring the world in your way,

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and we all have the chance to do it in

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whatever talents and interest we have. And if we'll focus

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on that what's possible, what we love and serving others,

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that is what will lead to a happier, more fulfilling retirement.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing because I always say too. I know in

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my own life too. The older I get, the less

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I allow fear to rule my life.

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00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 1: Right when I was younger it was much I think

478
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,839
I had the same level of fear, and when I

479
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,119
was younger I let it stop me.

480
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 2: But now that I'm older, it's almost like I don't

481
00:24:58,400 --> 00:24:59,079
care anymore.

482
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: I'm sixty three, darted, I only have so much time left.

483
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:02,880
Speaker 2: Let's get going.

484
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 1: But that's great messages to do that now for people

485
00:25:08,519 --> 00:25:09,079
that are.

486
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 2: How do I want to word this?

487
00:25:11,799 --> 00:25:14,519
Speaker 1: Like? How do you tell people that are still scared

488
00:25:14,599 --> 00:25:16,119
to not be scared anymore? Like?

489
00:25:16,319 --> 00:25:19,759
Speaker 3: I don't know, I guess, great question. When I first

490
00:25:19,799 --> 00:25:23,279
wrote that poem, Divine Spark five years ago, I shared

491
00:25:23,279 --> 00:25:25,759
it with just one or two clients, and it felt

492
00:25:25,799 --> 00:25:27,440
kind of weird, a guy in his mid fifties, you know,

493
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:32,359
sharing poetry with people. Who does that, right? But the

494
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,160
response was very, very positive, and one of my clients,

495
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,720
who's a grandmother, said, Martin, can I get three more copies?

496
00:25:39,599 --> 00:25:41,960
Because I want one for each of my grandchildren. Every

497
00:25:42,039 --> 00:25:44,200
time my fair old grandson comes over, he asked me

498
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,279
to read that poem because he says it makes me

499
00:25:46,319 --> 00:25:46,839
feel good.

500
00:25:47,319 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 2: Ah.

501
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 3: So I thought, wow, maybe there's something to this, and

502
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,119
so I wrote a few more poems. I found an

503
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,319
online printer where I now print a thousand poems at

504
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:59,480
a time, wow, at a pretty decent cost. And I've

505
00:25:59,519 --> 00:26:02,720
now I've probably distributed between eight and nine thousand poems

506
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:03,680
in the past five years.

507
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 1: Wow.

508
00:26:05,559 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 3: In fact, one of my goals is to give that

509
00:26:07,759 --> 00:26:11,640
poem to every child in the foster care system. Oh wow,

510
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,200
here in Utah there's about three thousand of them. So

511
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,160
I'll start with Utah and then spread from there or

512
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:21,119
any child in a hospital, children's hospital, especially if they

513
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,880
have some kind of challenge where they look different than

514
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,160
everyone else. I want them all to get a copy

515
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,599
of only one U to know how much they really matter.

516
00:26:29,839 --> 00:26:31,640
So let's kind of help peel that back. You say,

517
00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:35,799
what do you do? Take a small step that in

518
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,640
the book how they would defeated fear. And by the way,

519
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,759
again you can watch it for free. You've already seen it.

520
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,039
The poet teaches that the cure for distraction and also

521
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:47,079
fear is action. I knew it, yes, So dude, now

522
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:48,920
you can do but do a small step. You don't

523
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,519
have to go from I've never written a story of

524
00:26:50,519 --> 00:26:53,920
my entire life to you know, publishing a book. But

525
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,160
you could just write down a few ideas. And the

526
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,960
way we get that confidence we were confere is by

527
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,400
moving forward. Right, Like I said in the poem, right,

528
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,880
take a step and another once more, you had high.

529
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,599
It'll be little by little, but that's w we overcome fear.

530
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,440
You don't have to jump off the deep end, but

531
00:27:12,559 --> 00:27:15,680
I recommend you maybe don't do that. That works for

532
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:18,759
some people, but for most of it, it's gonna be

533
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:21,960
walk up that little group you know in the in

534
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,759
the park, the gardening group, like John did in the story. Yeah,

535
00:27:25,079 --> 00:27:27,640
just starting a conversation. Now, that may not have worked out.

536
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,480
He may have had to go to the I don't

537
00:27:29,519 --> 00:27:33,039
know different, a different group of people until he found

538
00:27:33,039 --> 00:27:36,160
the one that was best for him. And that's okay.

539
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,119
We have to remember too, where that fear comes from,

540
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,119
that fear of failed and rejection from our hunter gatherer days,

541
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,559
and it's just designed as trying to protect you from death.

542
00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:50,000
But I don't think if someone says no to you

543
00:27:50,279 --> 00:27:54,559
that you're gonna die. So if we just are aware

544
00:27:54,599 --> 00:27:57,680
of it and then keep making these small steps, we

545
00:27:57,759 --> 00:28:00,279
will find what works for us. And I I told

546
00:28:00,319 --> 00:28:05,240
you before this call started, I learned best by making mistakes, yes,

547
00:28:05,599 --> 00:28:08,400
and I'm okay with myself now making those mistakes earlier

548
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,279
on maybe not so much now, Yeah, I don't mind,

549
00:28:11,319 --> 00:28:13,400
because I know that's where I get the most growth.

550
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,759
Is by doing something wrong and then say, Okay, that

551
00:28:16,799 --> 00:28:18,240
doesn't work, let me try this.

552
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw.

553
00:28:19,839 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 1: I think it was probably Tony Robbins a million years ago,

554
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,640
but one of his.

555
00:28:24,599 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 2: Sayings was feel the fear and do it anyhow. And

556
00:28:28,519 --> 00:28:28,960
it's true.

557
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 1: I still for me, I still feel the fear, but

558
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,400
I do it anyhow. For just a small example for

559
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,960
me was I joined a ladies golf league. Well, by

560
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,480
no means am I a great golfer. I love to golf,

561
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,519
but I'm not real good at it. So every day

562
00:28:42,519 --> 00:28:44,480
that I go I went yesterday. Every day that I go,

563
00:28:44,519 --> 00:28:46,359
I'm driving on the way there and going, oh, I

564
00:28:46,359 --> 00:28:47,799
can't do this, So I can't do this, I can't

565
00:28:47,799 --> 00:28:47,880
do this.

566
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: I get there and it's like, whoa, this is great.

567
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,599
I meet some new people and it's so much. So

568
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:53,599
feel the fear.

569
00:28:53,759 --> 00:28:56,839
Speaker 1: I was still scared yesterday golfing with three new ladies,

570
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,319
but doing it anyhow.

571
00:28:58,359 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 2: It's I like that.

572
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know. One of the things that the poet

573
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,200
teaches in this book is that fear never goes away,

574
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,839
but we learned to replace that fear with a more

575
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:14,000
powerful emotion and well connection of serving others. Okay, so

576
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:15,240
it doesn't go away.

577
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 1: It is.

578
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,319
Speaker 3: It's part of our DNA, so it won't go away.

579
00:29:18,839 --> 00:29:23,400
That Brian's right, you know there. So yeah, so move

580
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:27,519
forward anyway and just try and make the adjustments, and

581
00:29:27,559 --> 00:29:29,319
I think you'll you'll be going in the right direction

582
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,240
and you will lead a happier, more fulfilling.

583
00:29:31,839 --> 00:29:35,039
Speaker 1: Okay, So sadly our time is coming quickly to an end,

584
00:29:35,039 --> 00:29:37,559
but it so for some Okay, I'm going to say,

585
00:29:37,599 --> 00:29:40,039
my sister today is her very very very last day

586
00:29:40,119 --> 00:29:40,519
at work.

587
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 2: Ever, she's retiring to day.

588
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 1: What would be the biggest advice you could give someone

589
00:29:46,839 --> 00:29:47,039
like that?

590
00:29:48,599 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 3: What I would say is, yes, retire again to something,

591
00:29:51,559 --> 00:29:54,440
not from something. And you know, when we go through

592
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,319
our careers as a nurse, as an engineer, whatever it is,

593
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,759
we get a manual. Here's what got a new Yeah,

594
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:06,200
this is the manual for retirement. Get the manual and

595
00:30:06,279 --> 00:30:09,000
go through all really twelve steps plus the three bonus,

596
00:30:09,359 --> 00:30:12,200
and just start thinking about it. You know, when you

597
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,559
were a parent for the first time, and maybe before

598
00:30:14,599 --> 00:30:16,960
you're a parent, this is gonna be easy. And before

599
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,240
we have kids, we see other parents struggling. Oh, I

600
00:30:19,279 --> 00:30:24,880
would never do that. Yeah, and we can even read

601
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,079
about it, but until you're actually in the midst of it,

602
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,599
you don't know. And it's similar for retirement. You know what,

603
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,559
We're not really taught how to retire successfully. So you

604
00:30:33,599 --> 00:30:35,559
need to get the manual. And people can go to

605
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,680
Stories of Retirement dot com and get that book for free, okay,

606
00:30:39,799 --> 00:30:42,000
or they can buy on Amazon. I don't care. I

607
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,079
would appreciate the fifty cents, but I'll be fine without it. Yeah,

608
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,599
do what's best for you. I really I want to

609
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,799
change the world, Marine, Okay. So yeah, that's why I

610
00:30:50,839 --> 00:30:52,920
tell your sister to do, is is just start thinking

611
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,480
about and have a plan retirement or happiness. And retirement

612
00:30:56,599 --> 00:30:59,599
doesn't happen by default, right, just like being a good

613
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:04,720
parent doesn't happen by default. Mark, Let's all learn from

614
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:05,839
each other and have a discussion.

615
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:09,039
Speaker 1: Thank you, And what I really really enjoy about listening

616
00:31:09,079 --> 00:31:11,720
to you is the passion that comes through.

617
00:31:11,759 --> 00:31:15,119
Speaker 2: Obviously you care. Thank you very very, very very much.

618
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:16,759
And like you say, your goal is to make the

619
00:31:16,799 --> 00:31:20,200
world a better place. How can you argue with that? Yeah?

620
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,559
Speaker 3: You know, as I do that, Marine, I feel good.

621
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

622
00:31:24,519 --> 00:31:27,519
Speaker 3: So you feel something where you give away, the more

623
00:31:27,559 --> 00:31:31,240
it comes back perfect and I would love to be

624
00:31:31,319 --> 00:31:35,000
in the grocery store at Edmonton someday. And and Simson,

625
00:31:35,039 --> 00:31:37,039
Oh yeah, you're the guy with that Happer retirement handbook.

626
00:31:38,319 --> 00:31:39,920
I've got a group we meet once a week. It's

627
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:40,599
been wonderful.

628
00:31:42,039 --> 00:31:43,559
Speaker 2: Well, let's work on making that happen.

629
00:31:43,599 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: I will have all of your information in the contact

630
00:31:46,079 --> 00:31:48,680
or in the remarks down below, so please check it

631
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,160
out and do it. And Martin, thank you. You've really

632
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,680
given us something big to think about. That retirement really

633
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,559
isn't the end of the road. It's a brand new

634
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,720
beginning with new purpose. Yes, with new excitement, with new

635
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:02,720
things to do and love.

636
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,279
Speaker 3: I love it. Okay, thank you Marine, Thank you talk soon.

637
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 2: Bye bye.