WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:04.120 If you're listening to the podcast on Apple Podcast, please 2 00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:09.160 remember to rate and leave a comment below. Also, don't 3 00:00:09.160 --> 00:00:13.960 forget to follow us on Instagram at Let's Talk the Things. Now, 4 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:17.600 grab your tea, coffee, or a glass of wine and 5 00:00:17.719 --> 00:00:23.640 let's talk the Things. Hey guys, welcome back to another 6 00:00:23.760 --> 00:00:30.679 episode of Let's Talk the Things, where we discuss personal growth, travel, music, 7 00:00:31.239 --> 00:00:36.960 beauty and wellness while encouraging you to live fearlessly and fabulously. 8 00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:41.840 I'm ash and this week we are talking to things 9 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:49.759 about love, relationships, and most importantly, remembering your worth. With 10 00:00:49.920 --> 00:00:53.399 Valentine's Day right around the corner, I know a lot 11 00:00:53.439 --> 00:00:57.079 of us are thinking about love and maybe feeling a 12 00:00:57.079 --> 00:01:00.159 little bit of pressure to do it right, or you're 13 00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:04.159 fomo fear of missing out. For those who aren't familiar, 14 00:01:04.840 --> 00:01:08.680 if you don't have a Valentine and you're trying to 15 00:01:08.680 --> 00:01:12.640 figure out how to navigate the holiday, I totally get it. 16 00:01:13.439 --> 00:01:17.079 Let's start with the most important question. Do you know 17 00:01:17.200 --> 00:01:21.280 your value? And I don't mean in the sense of 18 00:01:21.439 --> 00:01:24.640 what your career is, or how much money you make, 19 00:01:25.280 --> 00:01:29.280 or what your relationship status is. I mean do you 20 00:01:29.560 --> 00:01:34.560 truly know deep down what you are worth? It's an 21 00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:38.480 essential question to ask. Before you can love anyone else, 22 00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:41.959 before you can show up in a relationship or even 23 00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:46.719 celebrate Valentine's Day with anyone, you have to know that 24 00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:52.760 you are a treasure. You are Uxdale with extra gravy. 25 00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:57.079 One of the biggest mistakes I've seen women make is 26 00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:01.599 placing their worth outside of themselves based on what someone 27 00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:05.319 else thinks, or what society tells us we should be, 28 00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:09.840 or you know how a romantic partner makes us feel. 29 00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:14.319 Some of us tend to tie our value to external validation. 30 00:02:14.960 --> 00:02:18.479 But here's a thing. You are not what you do 31 00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:22.319 or what someone else says about you. You are not 32 00:02:22.479 --> 00:02:28.479 defined by your past, or your mistakes or your relationships status. 33 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:33.719 You are inherently valuable, and that's something you need to 34 00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:38.560 remind yourself of every day. So here's what I want 35 00:02:38.599 --> 00:02:42.159 you to do. Take a moment and just think about 36 00:02:42.439 --> 00:02:46.639 what makes you you. What are the things that light 37 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:52.159 you up inside, What are the passions that fuel your heart? 38 00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:56.000 What qualities do you have that are unique and make 39 00:02:56.240 --> 00:03:01.879 you truly happy? That is your value. The moment you 40 00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:06.879 start stepping into your life with that understanding a promise 41 00:03:06.919 --> 00:03:17.280 you everything changes. Love. We all want it right. But 42 00:03:17.520 --> 00:03:21.960 the truth is love starts with you. We've all heard 43 00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:25.479 it before. I know it's cliche, but it's the truth. 44 00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:30.120 It starts with the love you give yourself. And the 45 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:33.599 beautiful thing about Valentine's Day is that it can be 46 00:03:33.680 --> 00:03:38.840 a reminder that love is literally everywhere, not just romantic love, 47 00:03:39.319 --> 00:03:43.360 the love that comes from your friends and family, and 48 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:48.039 the love where everything flows from, the love from within. 49 00:03:48.479 --> 00:03:52.120 When you start loving yourself, you're not relying on someone 50 00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:55.280 else to make you feel a whole. You start showing 51 00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:58.919 up in the world with a level of confidence, grace, 52 00:03:59.439 --> 00:04:04.159 and strength that attracts the right people and situations into 53 00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:12.400 your life. We all have relationships that matter, whether it's 54 00:04:12.439 --> 00:04:18.560 with family, friends, colleagues, and yes, romantic partners. But one 55 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:21.800 thing that I've learned, especially in the past few years, 56 00:04:22.439 --> 00:04:26.519 is how important it is to set boundaries. I mean, 57 00:04:26.839 --> 00:04:32.480 you need to become an atlas full of boundaries. Relationships 58 00:04:32.639 --> 00:04:37.120 really work best when they're rooted in mutual respect and 59 00:04:37.240 --> 00:04:41.920 healthy boundaries. I remember my dad telling me years ago 60 00:04:42.439 --> 00:04:46.519 that the most important thing in any relationship, no matter 61 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:50.680 how old you are, is respect. It trumps love, It 62 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:54.879 trumps any other emotion. You have to have respect in 63 00:04:54.959 --> 00:04:59.600 any and every relationship. And that's something that I try 64 00:04:59.639 --> 00:05:02.560 to remain and I make sure that I implement in 65 00:05:02.600 --> 00:05:06.399 my life because it's so true. So here's a little 66 00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:10.879 piece of my own advice. Don't settle for less than 67 00:05:10.920 --> 00:05:16.160 what you deserve. Whether you're in a romantic relationship or 68 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:19.600 it's a friendship, or even a relationship you've had with 69 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:24.360 a family member, If you don't feel seen, heard, or valued, 70 00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:28.040 it's time to have a conversation. And if you have 71 00:05:28.120 --> 00:05:32.439 that conversation and the behavior continues, or you continue to 72 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:37.560 feel invaluable, then it may be time to remove yourself. 73 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:41.600 At the end of the day, healthy relationships are built 74 00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:45.680 on clear communication, and when you respect your own needs, 75 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:48.759 you set the tone for how others will treat you. 76 00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:53.959 Here's the thing, You cannot control their reaction or their 77 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:57.920 response to your boundaries. So that's why I say, if 78 00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:01.120 you explain your boundaries and then you're still not abided 79 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:04.519 by maybe that person just doesn't have the capacity to 80 00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:07.639 do so. It doesn't make them a bad person, it 81 00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:10.720 doesn't make them an evil person, but it just makes 82 00:06:10.800 --> 00:06:18.560 them not your person. The most powerful thing you can 83 00:06:18.600 --> 00:06:23.519 do for yourself is to choose to live your life unapologetically, 84 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:28.639 to step into your purpose and your truth without fear 85 00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:32.879 of what others will think of you or it. You 86 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:37.399 have dreams, passions, and desires, and you have the right 87 00:06:37.480 --> 00:06:42.199 to pursue them. So don't let anything or anyone make 88 00:06:42.279 --> 00:06:46.759 you doubt that. And listen. If you're worried about being alone, 89 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:50.600 or like I said, fomo, being left out because of 90 00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:54.199 a lack of romantic love, or maybe your boundaries were 91 00:06:54.439 --> 00:07:00.560 disrespected or violated, remember you are whole just as you are. 92 00:07:01.319 --> 00:07:04.240 The love that matters most is a love that you 93 00:07:04.279 --> 00:07:09.079 give yourself, and eventually you will attract those people that 94 00:07:09.240 --> 00:07:12.680 will respect your boundaries and that will make you feel 95 00:07:12.839 --> 00:07:16.959 seen and valued. Don't wait for a partner or someone 96 00:07:17.040 --> 00:07:20.759 else to validate who you are, or to validate your 97 00:07:20.839 --> 00:07:25.040 dreams and your hopes and aspirations. Don't wait for someone 98 00:07:25.120 --> 00:07:28.519 to tell you how amazing you are or how beautiful 99 00:07:28.600 --> 00:07:32.920 you are. Start showing up for yourself in big and 100 00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:41.199 small ways, and trust me, the world will take notice. 101 00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:48.079 So I challenge you, especially as Valentine's Day quickly approaches, 102 00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:52.079 to think, how can you show yourself love this week? 103 00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:56.959 Maybe it's through a new self care ritual, a mask, 104 00:07:57.560 --> 00:08:01.480 a little red light therapy, a confidence boost through a 105 00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:05.680 wardrobe change or a new hairstyle, or maybe it's spending 106 00:08:05.720 --> 00:08:10.319 time with people who truly make you feel seen. Whatever 107 00:08:10.360 --> 00:08:14.399 it is, do it with intention. Don't wait for someone 108 00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:18.519 else to tell you how special or how loved you are. 109 00:08:19.800 --> 00:08:24.560 You are priceless, and it's about time that you recognize that. 110 00:08:29.319 --> 00:08:31.800 I know this can be a hard time of year 111 00:08:31.959 --> 00:08:35.600 for some people, with all the roses and the hearts, 112 00:08:35.679 --> 00:08:42.080 and the social media videos of extravagant Valentine's Day proposals 113 00:08:42.440 --> 00:08:46.320 or just anything that makes you feel left out if 114 00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:48.799 you don't have that in your life. But I just 115 00:08:48.879 --> 00:08:51.080 want you to remember, as hard as it may be, 116 00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:55.240 you are amazing just as you are. You don't need 117 00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:58.879 a partner, a fancy dinner, or even a single rose 118 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:02.759 to prove your worth. And trust me, those things are nice, 119 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:06.480 but if you don't have them, it's important that you 120 00:09:06.600 --> 00:09:11.320 remember that the love, joy, and freedom you seek starts 121 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:16.120 from within you, and when you love yourself fully, everything 122 00:09:16.240 --> 00:09:20.519 falls into place. So this Valentine's Day, I want you 123 00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:24.759 to remember and be grateful for all of the friends 124 00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:29.559 and family who love you, and, most importantly, reflect on 125 00:09:29.639 --> 00:09:38.600 the love you have for yourself. If you love this 126 00:09:38.679 --> 00:09:42.200 week's episode, don't forget to give us a five star 127 00:09:42.320 --> 00:09:46.720 rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and to share it 128 00:09:46.759 --> 00:09:50.159 with someone who you think could use a little reminder 129 00:09:50.480 --> 00:09:51.679 of their own worth.