WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:03.120 Welcome to Men, Sex and Tantra. 2 00:00:03.720 --> 00:00:06.799 Discover where your parents, porn and religion never taught you 3 00:00:06.799 --> 00:00:10.439 about being a man and having extraordinary sex. Get ready 4 00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:17.399 to have your mind blown and your world rocked. Hey, everybody, 5 00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:19.559 we are back. There is I think a lag between 6 00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:21.960 the last one of this, but I have a super 7 00:00:22.120 --> 00:00:24.160 interesting and he noticed I say that all the time 8 00:00:24.199 --> 00:00:27.879 because I do not pick boring guests. So we should 9 00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:30.160 know that right now. Not only do I not pick 10 00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:33.399 boring guests, but I say this every time for some reason, 11 00:00:33.439 --> 00:00:36.840 every man I interview on this program is handsome and interesting. 12 00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:39.840 So handsome and interesting. Yes, just another one back with you. 13 00:00:40.280 --> 00:00:44.640 His name is Oliver Starr. And this conversation, this series 14 00:00:44.679 --> 00:00:48.960 of the four we're going to do heads up, get real, 15 00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:52.000 because you guys are right now are being inundated and 16 00:00:52.039 --> 00:00:55.479 probably listening to a bunch of bullshit podcasts that are 17 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:58.560 trying to tell you how to be a man. Man up, 18 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:01.840 be the alpha, get at the dominance. All of this 19 00:01:01.880 --> 00:01:04.159 shit that you're listening to and filling your brains with 20 00:01:04.480 --> 00:01:08.200 if you don't have confidence, is steering you in the 21 00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:13.560 wrong way. In fact, I spent three years in the 22 00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:16.400 seduction community for men being a coach for the seduction 23 00:01:16.519 --> 00:01:18.879 communities of some of the most famous people you've heard, 24 00:01:19.480 --> 00:01:23.359 And I want to tell you that most of the time, yeah, 25 00:01:24.079 --> 00:01:27.959 all of them later when they couldn't actually have a relationship. Yeah, 26 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.079 they could get laid, but they didn't know how to 27 00:01:30.120 --> 00:01:32.439 have a relationship. Guess what. Guess who their coach was. 28 00:01:32.840 --> 00:01:35.719 So I'm just here to say that you may not 29 00:01:35.719 --> 00:01:37.840 want to believe everything you hear, but without further ado, 30 00:01:37.840 --> 00:01:39.200 I'm going to let Oliver tell you a little bit 31 00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:40.799 about himself, what he's about, and then we're going to 32 00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:44.719 jump into our topic today, which is all about I'll 33 00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:46.239 fah take it away, Oliver. 34 00:01:46.959 --> 00:01:49.159 Hey, Tanya, thank you so much for inviting me. It's 35 00:01:49.159 --> 00:01:52.079 really a pleasure to be here. So, as Tanya said, 36 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:54.920 my name is Oliver Starr. I am the executive director 37 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:58.680 of the Tahoe Wolf Center. I've been an entrepreneur, a 38 00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:02.519 professional athlete, but the most important thing I've ever done 39 00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:05.519 is my work with wolves. I've spent the last forty 40 00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:08.599 years of my life living, working with, in studying wolves, 41 00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:11.840 and a lot of what I'll be talking about today 42 00:02:11.879 --> 00:02:13.599 is inspired by those observations. 43 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:17.960 Yeah. Yeah, because wow, wolves alpha badass, right, dominant leaders. 44 00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:22.879 This is what we think, you know, and we think, yeah, 45 00:02:22.919 --> 00:02:25.879 so you're here to shed some light, So why don't 46 00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:29.639 we define Like you give me your definition of alpha, 47 00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:31.719 I'll jump in with a little bit. Let's define the 48 00:02:31.759 --> 00:02:37.960 word alpha both from the mainstream perspective and then let's 49 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:41.080 call the ignorance out in it too. So how do you, 50 00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:43.319 when you're out in the world, like the word alpha? 51 00:02:43.400 --> 00:02:45.439 What does it mean to you? How do you define 52 00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:47.120 it in relationship? 53 00:02:47.159 --> 00:02:49.840 So you might find it funny for a guy that 54 00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:51.719 works with wolves, but I actually really don't even like 55 00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:56.439 the word alpha. It's caused a lot of problems for 56 00:02:57.599 --> 00:03:01.800 you know, community society and also for wolves. I mean, technically, 57 00:03:01.879 --> 00:03:05.639 for us, the term alpha simply refers to either the 58 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:09.800 male or female in the breeding pair of a wolf pack, 59 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:14.280 which are always families. But to me, there's a larger 60 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:19.240 meaning in the term, which is really leader, steward, caretaker, 61 00:03:19.919 --> 00:03:23.280 altruistic being of either sex who is focused on the 62 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:25.719 well being of the community they serve. 63 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:29.000 Yeah, yeah, and that's not what some of these guys 64 00:03:29.080 --> 00:03:31.800 on these podcasts are talking about. I mean, you know, 65 00:03:31.879 --> 00:03:37.240 when we think alpha, we think badass, dominant, kick, your ass. 66 00:03:37.319 --> 00:03:41.719 You know, this kind of idea of macho, take no prisoners. 67 00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:45.360 You know, everybody when you walk into a room, everybody 68 00:03:45.400 --> 00:03:49.800 looks at you because you like you dominate the room, energetic, whatever, 69 00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:54.360 and that there's so many men that believe alpha equates 70 00:03:54.599 --> 00:04:00.439 confidence and that alpha equates desirability, and that alpha quits 71 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:03.319 whatever it is. They think the inn cells. You know, 72 00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:05.360 we got to and I know you're familiar with what 73 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:07.400 an in cel is, but if people aren't an in cellar, 74 00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:10.759 these guys who believe that basically, you know, life or 75 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:14.319 women have screwed them out of their rightful sex ability 76 00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:16.879 to have sex. And so they see that because they 77 00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:20.480 don't feel like alpha's that women don't want them. I 78 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:23.279 think it's mainly because you know, they're victims that women 79 00:04:23.319 --> 00:04:26.000 don't want them. But okay, that's just my thought. So 80 00:04:26.079 --> 00:04:28.439 to me, alpha, I agree with you. Alpha is not 81 00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:33.439 a something that these guys that are telling you how 82 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:36.000 to be in alpha really know anything about. So tell 83 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:40.160 us more, Oliver, tell us about alpha in the woods, 84 00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:42.079 Alpha in the wild, or I mean, you're you're a 85 00:04:42.120 --> 00:04:44.519 badass guy. So first of all, you're a badass guy. 86 00:04:44.759 --> 00:04:47.120 You know, like you're rolling around with wolves. You were 87 00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:48.839 in a camo, You're doing all this stuff. You are 88 00:04:49.439 --> 00:04:53.879 a man's man, no doubt about that. So tell us more. 89 00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:58.279 Yeah, I'm I'm a pretty pretty slight guy. I'm about 90 00:04:58.279 --> 00:05:03.000 six feet tall, pretty slight. But yeah, my family was 91 00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:05.800 in the ranching business. I live in the mountains. I've 92 00:05:05.800 --> 00:05:09.519 lived off the grid. In addition of my work with wolves, 93 00:05:09.560 --> 00:05:12.079 I work with an organization that gets bears out from 94 00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:15.319 under people's houses. So there are very few people alive 95 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:18.160 that have spent more time in close proximity to mama 96 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:19.000 bears with cubs. 97 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:21.560 Not to be fair, black bears, grizzly bears will kill you. 98 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:23.120 You don't go into a house with a grizzly bear 99 00:05:23.279 --> 00:05:25.240 because you come out the other end of the grizzly bear. 100 00:05:28.600 --> 00:05:29.199 That's right. 101 00:05:29.759 --> 00:05:32.959 But yeah, so you know, I don't think people would 102 00:05:32.959 --> 00:05:36.600 find me to be a snowflake. But let's let's talk 103 00:05:36.600 --> 00:05:38.680 about alpha and where this came from. And you like 104 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:41.199 popping balloons. I like popping balloons, So let's pop a 105 00:05:41.240 --> 00:05:41.800 few balloons. 106 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:42.120 Yeah. 107 00:05:43.399 --> 00:05:47.519 So the whole concept of alpha as it has kind 108 00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:53.959 of been popularized, comes from bad wolf research, and essentially, 109 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:57.120 they took a bunch of unrelated wolves, and they put 110 00:05:57.199 --> 00:05:59.600 them into captivity together and they watched what they did, 111 00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:04.480 and from those observations, which originally took place in Germany 112 00:06:04.519 --> 00:06:08.160 and then subsequently were followed up by arguably the world's 113 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:10.439 most famous wolf biologist, a man by the name of 114 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:14.160 El David Meach at the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago, and 115 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:18.519 what they observed was that unrelated wolves put in captivity 116 00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:24.920 form a pecking order that is largely driven by violence, aggression, domination. 117 00:06:25.720 --> 00:06:28.319 And from that they came up with this whole concept 118 00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:33.519 of alpha beta omega that was popularized in a book 119 00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:35.680 called The Wolf, which went on to be a best 120 00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:39.240 seller by David Meach. But the problem is that what 121 00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:43.600 they were observing was basically prison yard politics, not wolf biology. 122 00:06:44.120 --> 00:06:46.759 And David Meach went on to do a lot of 123 00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:51.199 field work, including in the High Arctic at Isle roy Aalen, Michigan, 124 00:06:52.199 --> 00:06:53.600 and what he found out. 125 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:54.800 Was that he was totally wrong. 126 00:06:55.120 --> 00:07:00.319 That wolves are remarkably collegial, that the dominant animal, the 127 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:02.800 ones that we refer to as alpha, are simply the 128 00:07:02.839 --> 00:07:08.000 breeding pair and they're the parents. And he was so 129 00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:12.680 distressed by his mistake and the consequences it had that 130 00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:15.160 he actually tried to get his best selling book pulled 131 00:07:15.160 --> 00:07:17.240 off the shelves. And if you don't believe me, you 132 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:19.240 can go to Google and just type in Alpha Wolf 133 00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:23.279 wrong and you'll see David Meach basically saying I was wrong. 134 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:28.360 We made a mistake, which is pretty interesting for consider 135 00:07:28.519 --> 00:07:33.839 the world's most most famous both biologies, and he's tried 136 00:07:34.120 --> 00:07:35.959 throughout the rest of his career to correct the mistake. 137 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:41.120 The problem is that it caught fire socially and sociologically, 138 00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:45.160 and there's money to be made in convincing people that 139 00:07:45.199 --> 00:07:48.480 they need to be badass by acting tough. 140 00:07:49.839 --> 00:07:50.439 Yeah. 141 00:07:50.839 --> 00:07:57.399 So it's interesting how our societal constructs can come out 142 00:07:57.480 --> 00:07:59.879 of something, as you know, like a book that catches 143 00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:02.199 and then it goes and then everybody grabs it and 144 00:08:02.279 --> 00:08:04.759 runs with it, and it doesn't really matter if it's 145 00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:09.040 wrong or it's right. I used to teach men and 146 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:12.879 women how to do kegels, and you know, keegels were 147 00:08:12.920 --> 00:08:15.279 the gold standard of how to like not only improve 148 00:08:15.319 --> 00:08:19.680 your orgasm, but you know, incontinence whatever else, blah blah blah. 149 00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:23.360 And then I found out from a biomechanical engineer who 150 00:08:23.439 --> 00:08:26.000 specialized in pelvis that we're doing the wrong thing. Tightening 151 00:08:26.040 --> 00:08:29.519 and tightening and tightening is actually making things worse, not better, 152 00:08:29.959 --> 00:08:32.159 because we do the most kegels in the world, and 153 00:08:32.200 --> 00:08:34.440 we have the most incontinence and other issues in the world, 154 00:08:34.759 --> 00:08:36.639 and people that are having five babies out in the 155 00:08:36.639 --> 00:08:39.759 wild or whatever places in the world have none of that. 156 00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:42.480 It's like, what's the deal? So I had to like 157 00:08:42.559 --> 00:08:47.039 go back and literally everything I'd ever written, send emails, 158 00:08:47.120 --> 00:08:50.399 whatever I was wrong, stop doing that. You know, we're 159 00:08:50.399 --> 00:08:55.600 doing this now, so and it's very hard trend to break. 160 00:08:55.720 --> 00:09:01.799 So okay, So we think of alpha's as dominant as 161 00:09:02.120 --> 00:09:07.879 uh you said for strength or thinking that you said 162 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:10.759 something because I'm I'm part of your coach. You got 163 00:09:10.799 --> 00:09:13.559 just accepted to it being a tech speaker in one 164 00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:15.759 of the events I'm running, and we talked a little 165 00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:18.080 bit about that. Tell me you had those forwards dominance 166 00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:21.879 versus strength? What what was that? What was that? You said? 167 00:09:23.159 --> 00:09:24.279 We captured it for sure. 168 00:09:24.559 --> 00:09:26.559 Yeah, because we think of. 169 00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:35.360 The dominant equal strength, yes, right, that that aggression equals courage, right, 170 00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:38.039 and that that and that empathy equals. 171 00:09:37.720 --> 00:09:40.519 Weakness exactly, So say those again, please. 172 00:09:40.759 --> 00:09:44.559 So that dominant equal strength, that aggression equals courage, and 173 00:09:44.600 --> 00:09:47.240 that empathy equals weakness. 174 00:09:46.759 --> 00:09:50.320 Right, and so we see that and that's the light 175 00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:56.120 that gets cast on this whole idea about alpha as well. Fortunately, Yeah, 176 00:09:56.159 --> 00:09:59.919 the man makes the decision and he runs the show 177 00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:03.879 and he handles that stuff. And I had a conversation 178 00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:06.960 with a man who was totally into that alpha. You know, 179 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:09.679 you can't learn. He went as far as a men 180 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:13.039 can't learn from women. I was wondering what his mother 181 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:15.759 taught him. But you know, the say, it's like, men 182 00:10:15.799 --> 00:10:18.639 don't learn from women, We're not supposed to learn from women. 183 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:20.600 You're shaking your head. Your audience can't see that. But 184 00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:22.799 if you saw the look on his face right now, 185 00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:26.799 he's looking down just he looks incredulous. So your thoughts 186 00:10:26.840 --> 00:10:31.200 on how do so why do you think men are 187 00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:33.639 drawn specifically to this idea of alpha. 188 00:10:35.480 --> 00:10:37.919 I think it's because the people that are legitimate, like 189 00:10:38.039 --> 00:10:40.039 the people that I look at as alpha's right, the 190 00:10:40.039 --> 00:10:43.840 people that act alpha for real in the in the 191 00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:49.080 biological sense, aren't showy, and so you don't have the 192 00:10:49.159 --> 00:10:51.879 same obvious role models. I mean, it's way it's way 193 00:10:51.919 --> 00:10:54.559 more fun and easier to say Jack Reacher is a 194 00:10:54.639 --> 00:11:00.080 role model, you know. I mean, but first of all, 195 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:03.320 that's a fictitious character, and secondly, that's not an effective leader. 196 00:11:03.480 --> 00:11:06.559 I mean, if you look at organizations and even wolf 197 00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:10.639 packs that stand the test of time, their leadership is 198 00:11:10.759 --> 00:11:16.679 service driven, not not dominance in fear driven. You want 199 00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:20.320 people to follow you and respect you because they want to, 200 00:11:20.919 --> 00:11:23.799 not because you made that right. 201 00:11:24.679 --> 00:11:29.440 And so when we think of wolves, we think of scary. 202 00:11:30.039 --> 00:11:32.240 A lot of people think of scary, think of fears, 203 00:11:32.360 --> 00:11:34.200 think of you know, they're going to take you out 204 00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:37.320 and take you down. And so that's the alpha that 205 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:41.480 we're trying to recreate. You know, standing there and I'm 206 00:11:41.559 --> 00:11:43.480 just like imposing, you know, I got my hands on 207 00:11:43.480 --> 00:11:45.720 my hips there and I'm imposing and I'm scary and whatever. 208 00:11:45.759 --> 00:11:48.840 And you see the arms crossed across across the chest, 209 00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:55.720 you know, immobile in moment, right, yeah, yeah right, immovable, immobile, 210 00:11:55.879 --> 00:12:02.000 that kind of thing, solid spartans, Yeah right. So you know, 211 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:04.360 how is this how do you think this is hurting relationships? 212 00:12:04.360 --> 00:12:06.039 And more and morely, how is this hurting men? 213 00:12:07.799 --> 00:12:10.840 Well, I mean I think that women see through a 214 00:12:10.840 --> 00:12:13.639 lot of that bravado. I mean, certainly there's there's women 215 00:12:13.679 --> 00:12:18.639 who find these hyper you know, hyper exaggerated masculine men 216 00:12:19.399 --> 00:12:22.679 appealing maybe on the surface, but I doubt if they 217 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:25.519 really enjoy being in long term relationships with those people, 218 00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:27.279 if they act the same way at home as they 219 00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:33.559 do in the bar. I you know, I look, we're 220 00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:38.960 still a biological creature, and biological success is defined largely 221 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:43.200 by how far our genes spread into society going forward. 222 00:12:43.879 --> 00:12:47.159 And so if you look at what women I think 223 00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:50.759 would find appealing is a partner that can help them 224 00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:53.519 successfully raise many generations of offspring. 225 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:55.399 Right, And. 226 00:12:57.120 --> 00:13:00.000 You know, men they aren't aren't kind, aren't stewards, aren't 227 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:03.480 going to take good care of the kids. They're not 228 00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:06.600 going to be evolutionarily successful. I mean, and wolves it's 229 00:13:06.639 --> 00:13:10.320 the same thing, right, I mean, wolves are very collaborative. 230 00:13:10.320 --> 00:13:12.120 They call them social predators. 231 00:13:12.279 --> 00:13:15.559 And that means that unlike bears or big cats, they 232 00:13:15.600 --> 00:13:18.679 have to work together to kill things they're much much 233 00:13:18.679 --> 00:13:23.200 smaller than their prey. They're collaborative hunters. They are collaborative 234 00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:26.559 in raising the pups. The whole pack works together to 235 00:13:26.679 --> 00:13:30.759 raise the pups. There are siblings from prior years that 236 00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:35.000 are babysitters. They all work to bring food to the 237 00:13:35.159 --> 00:13:38.159 nursing mother. If there's more than one breeding female in 238 00:13:38.200 --> 00:13:41.080 a pack, they work even harder to support all of them. 239 00:13:41.559 --> 00:13:44.480 Once those pups are big enough to start eating solid food, 240 00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:47.960 all of the wolves provision them first by carrying meat 241 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:50.840 and their stomach and regurgitating it for the pups. That's 242 00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:54.000 where the face looking behavior comes from, by the way, 243 00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:55.679 is when your dog is trying to lick your face. 244 00:13:55.720 --> 00:13:59.480 That is a very puppy like behavior, and they're basically saying, 245 00:13:59.480 --> 00:14:02.200 feed me, throw up, throw up for me, throw up 246 00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:04.960 for me, and then that and then that becomes a 247 00:14:05.080 --> 00:14:10.600 social bonding characteristic that carries over into mature animals, which 248 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:12.519 is why you know, if you ever see any of 249 00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:14.240 my by the way, I'm all over the wolf guy 250 00:14:14.279 --> 00:14:17.919 on YouTube, on TikTok whatever. You see my videos, and 251 00:14:17.960 --> 00:14:20.320 there's a lot of videos of me just getting mulled 252 00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:22.600 and they're climbing up to me to get to my 253 00:14:22.679 --> 00:14:27.519 face because in many respects, i'm that I am that figure, 254 00:14:27.559 --> 00:14:31.600 i am that breeding male in my wolf family group 255 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:33.919 because I'm the one that has provisioned these animals their 256 00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:36.840 whole life from when they were tiny puppies on a bottle, 257 00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:41.759 and so yeah, I you know, I think that that 258 00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:44.600 that ability to caretake and be a steward of a 259 00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:48.120 family or a steward of a team is you know, 260 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:49.679 for me, that's what a real lialf is. And I 261 00:14:49.679 --> 00:14:52.000 actually think that a lot of women see that. I mean, 262 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:55.159 time is very kind and saying I'm handsome. I guess 263 00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:57.000 my wife would probably agree. I'm not sure that they 264 00:14:57.000 --> 00:15:00.519 work at large. Right, I'm a bit grizzled and g uh. 265 00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:02.320 I think the last time you saw me, I still 266 00:15:02.360 --> 00:15:03.320 had my winter haircut. 267 00:15:04.159 --> 00:15:05.639 Yeah, yeah, I get one. 268 00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:07.799 I get one one shaven, one haircut a year in 269 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:10.600 the spring, and then I let it go and so 270 00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:12.840 I'm a little bit more tidy today. 271 00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:16.320 He's also looking a little let me tell you that 272 00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:18.600 he looks a little bit like blushy and a little 273 00:15:18.639 --> 00:15:23.159 bit like he's like a handsome, so you know, he's 274 00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:25.360 not sitting there with his hands. I was like, yeah, 275 00:15:25.399 --> 00:15:26.720 I'm a handsome, check me out. 276 00:15:27.080 --> 00:15:30.120 You know what's funny is it's weird. It's on TikTok. 277 00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:32.679 I get a ton of a ton of comments that 278 00:15:32.759 --> 00:15:34.080 I look like and I don't even know. I don't 279 00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:35.720 watch the show, so I don't really know who it is. 280 00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:39.399 But my wife agrees that I look like Megan from Walking. 281 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:41.799 Oh you actually you know what you actually do? You 282 00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:44.440 actually do? Yes, there is this There is a little 283 00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:45.960 bit of similarity there for sure. 284 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:46.639 Yeah. 285 00:15:46.639 --> 00:15:48.159 So now you guys kind of get to get a 286 00:15:48.200 --> 00:15:48.919 hind of what I look like. 287 00:15:49.559 --> 00:15:51.879 They're gonna go check out your wolf videos anyway, for sure. 288 00:15:51.919 --> 00:15:52.120 Yeah. 289 00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:54.120 The wolf videos are fun. Some of them are quite 290 00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:58.080 viral because everybody and everybody, you know. The funny thing 291 00:15:58.120 --> 00:15:59.759 is how many people want to see them attack me. 292 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:04.080 It's amazing how many comments I get of or the 293 00:16:04.360 --> 00:16:07.200 two most common comments I get on the most viral 294 00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:14.159 videos are you're not alpha, which is to me, or 295 00:16:14.279 --> 00:16:15.879 or hoping that one of them is going to try 296 00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:16.279 to eat me. 297 00:16:17.159 --> 00:16:17.519 Wow. 298 00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:18.960 Yeah, that's funny. 299 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:23.960 That is interesting in our society here, that right, Yeah, 300 00:16:24.039 --> 00:16:26.679 because you're not like because you're not walking over to 301 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:29.320 the wolf knocking it down and standing on its stomach 302 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:31.320 and like, you know. 303 00:16:32.159 --> 00:16:34.600 And what's really sad about this alpha thing is that 304 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:39.120 it's had horrible consequences for dogs. It's had just terrible 305 00:16:39.320 --> 00:16:43.000 dog training repercussions. I also am the author of the 306 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:46.440 Wolf Lover's Guide You're Raising Dogs, which actually last week 307 00:16:46.440 --> 00:16:48.600 at number one on Amazon in a couple categories. 308 00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:50.639 And it's not a dog training book. 309 00:16:50.679 --> 00:16:55.279 It's just about basically being nice to your dog, you know, 310 00:16:55.519 --> 00:16:58.279 I mean just being nice and I mean, you know what, 311 00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:00.399 in a lot of ways, I think that it's so 312 00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:03.799 easy to summarize what being a good alpha is. Just 313 00:17:03.879 --> 00:17:05.440 be nice, be nice? 314 00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:07.720 Wait what the nice guys finish? 315 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:08.119 Last? 316 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:10.359 What are you using the four letter nice word? 317 00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:10.680 No? 318 00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:14.359 I mean, I'm I'm not sure that people would say 319 00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:17.160 that I'm always nice because I'm hyper competitive. I have 320 00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:20.240 to really take myself out of competitive situations because I'm just. 321 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:22.519 That guy, right, I like to win. I'm used to winning. 322 00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:25.279 But could we use the word kind? 323 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:28.240 I think kind maybe? Yeah, I think that's probably a 324 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:30.839 better word, is be kind? Right, And I have to 325 00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:33.599 remind myself that because you know, I still get in 326 00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:35.480 fights online, particularly about coyotes. 327 00:17:35.720 --> 00:17:37.400 I get a lot of arguments about coyotes. 328 00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:40.640 But you're so Look when you're passionate and you want 329 00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:43.640 to defend, so you basically what you're doing is you're 330 00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:47.920 protecting what you feel is the underdog. If I can 331 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:50.240 throw that pun in there, you're like you're a protector, 332 00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:53.079 and that is part of what we would consider a 333 00:17:53.119 --> 00:17:54.160 great man trait. 334 00:17:55.920 --> 00:17:59.119 Perpetual underdog. But the funny thing is they're actually the overdog. 335 00:17:59.160 --> 00:18:00.640 And the reason I say that it is because we 336 00:18:00.759 --> 00:18:03.160 kill the government and people in general kill more than 337 00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:05.720 half a million coyotes a year. We've been doing that 338 00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:09.039 since the eighteen hundreds. And when we started, there were 339 00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:14.559 no coyotes east of the Mississippi, and now everywhere. They're 340 00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:17.240 in New York City, they're in Chicago. They are winning. 341 00:18:17.599 --> 00:18:20.039 No matter what we throw at coyotes, they continue to win. 342 00:18:20.200 --> 00:18:25.680 So rats, yeah, well, where rats go, coyotes go. And 343 00:18:25.799 --> 00:18:27.839 I tell people, as an aside, you know, you can 344 00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:29.960 have two coyotes in your neighborhood or a hundred mice 345 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:30.519 in your house. 346 00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:31.319 It's your choice. 347 00:18:31.640 --> 00:18:33.279 Oh, I picked the coyotes. 348 00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:37.480 I picked the coyotes too. They're super interesting, also family oriented. Coyote. 349 00:18:37.680 --> 00:18:40.519 I have a a as a side talking about an 350 00:18:40.519 --> 00:18:43.799 al Alphaslright, So coyotes hold territories. Where I live, it's 351 00:18:43.880 --> 00:18:46.680 in the woods, and I know my wildlife. And there's 352 00:18:46.720 --> 00:18:49.000 been this coyote and he's very old. Now, he's got 353 00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:51.720 to be seven or eight years old. Coyotes made for life. 354 00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:55.640 They're wonderful parents. And I call him Barkie, and man, 355 00:18:55.680 --> 00:18:58.839 this guy is held probably the most desirable territory in 356 00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:03.240 the Tahoe Basin of on Lake Tahoe for eight years. 357 00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:06.240 I mean that makes him an ancient kyote, like kyotes 358 00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:07.319 don't live to be eight. 359 00:19:07.720 --> 00:19:09.160 And I see him almost every day. 360 00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:12.359 He's very loud, and I always imagine that he because 361 00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:14.920 coyotes do this thing where they follow you and they're. 362 00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:16.839 What they're doing. People are like, oh, he's stalking me, 363 00:19:16.920 --> 00:19:18.200 he's trying to look my dog. 364 00:19:18.920 --> 00:19:21.799 No, they're trying to get you away from their territory 365 00:19:21.880 --> 00:19:24.039 because they know your threat, and so they follow you 366 00:19:24.079 --> 00:19:26.720 about thirty forty yards away and sometimes they bark at you. 367 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:28.240 Sometimes they just follow you. 368 00:19:28.920 --> 00:19:31.000 And so I think that he goes home every night 369 00:19:31.039 --> 00:19:33.000 and he's like, oh, that's such a rough day. 370 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:34.640 I had to chase that guy and his wolves way 371 00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:37.799 again today. It is just terrible. He's just coming over here, 372 00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:40.200 you know, and she rubs his paws. 373 00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:43.200 It says, I'm sorry, any I know. 374 00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:47.000 Sometimes she's sometimes with him, but she's she's much much 375 00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:48.440 less bold than Barkie. 376 00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:53.079 Yeah, yeah, well that's so if so let's let's get 377 00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:56.480 Let's give the guys something here to those guys that 378 00:19:56.519 --> 00:20:00.200 are like trying to feel like, oh I'm a batam hell, 379 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.400 I'm in ohega mal, I'm nobody wants me because I'm 380 00:20:03.400 --> 00:20:07.359 not like, you know whatever enough? What what would you 381 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:11.359 say to them? Uh in in this instance of the 382 00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:14.279 that they maybe try to stop being alpha in the 383 00:20:14.279 --> 00:20:17.640 way that you know, these podcasts and these guys who 384 00:20:17.640 --> 00:20:19.400 I'm not naming but I could name, but you know 385 00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:23.039 who they are want them to be? 386 00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:23.359 What? 387 00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:23.599 What? 388 00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:23.839 What? 389 00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:25.240 What is the difference? What would you say? 390 00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:25.519 So? 391 00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:27.640 I mean, the first thing is throw away these labels 392 00:20:27.640 --> 00:20:30.480 because they're using them wrong. I mean, it's simply a 393 00:20:30.519 --> 00:20:33.680 technical term that describes a position in the hierarchy of 394 00:20:33.720 --> 00:20:34.759 a Wolf family group. 395 00:20:34.920 --> 00:20:36.039 It's that's all it is. 396 00:20:36.519 --> 00:20:40.559 It is not what they're saying of this dominance driven like, 397 00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:47.160 that's just a bastardized, incorrect, stolen interpretation for publicity purposes. 398 00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:49.519 So get rid of the labels, right, Just be a man, 399 00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:52.480 a decent, kind, empathetic man. 400 00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:58.279 And if you want an action item, I mean, all. 401 00:20:58.119 --> 00:21:01.160