Speaker 1: Welcome to Men, Sex and Tantra.
Speaker 2: Discover where your parents, porn and religion never taught you
Speaker 2: about being a man and having extraordinary sex. Get ready
Speaker 2: to have your mind blown and your world rocked. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 2: we are back. There is I think a lag between
Speaker 2: the last one of this, but I have a super
Speaker 2: interesting and he noticed I say that all the time
Speaker 2: because I do not pick boring guests. So we should
Speaker 2: know that right now. Not only do I not pick
Speaker 2: boring guests, but I say this every time for some reason,
Speaker 2: every man I interview on this program is handsome and interesting.
Speaker 2: So handsome and interesting. Yes, just another one back with you.
Speaker 2: His name is Oliver Starr. And this conversation, this series
Speaker 2: of the four we're going to do heads up, get real,
Speaker 2: because you guys are right now are being inundated and
Speaker 2: probably listening to a bunch of bullshit podcasts that are
Speaker 2: trying to tell you how to be a man. Man up,
Speaker 2: be the alpha, get at the dominance. All of this
Speaker 2: shit that you're listening to and filling your brains with
Speaker 2: if you don't have confidence, is steering you in the
Speaker 2: wrong way. In fact, I spent three years in the
Speaker 2: seduction community for men being a coach for the seduction
Speaker 2: communities of some of the most famous people you've heard,
Speaker 2: And I want to tell you that most of the time, yeah,
Speaker 2: all of them later when they couldn't actually have a relationship. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they could get laid, but they didn't know how to
Speaker 2: have a relationship. Guess what. Guess who their coach was.
Speaker 2: So I'm just here to say that you may not
Speaker 2: want to believe everything you hear, but without further ado,
Speaker 2: I'm going to let Oliver tell you a little bit
Speaker 2: about himself, what he's about, and then we're going to
Speaker 2: jump into our topic today, which is all about I'll
Speaker 2: fah take it away, Oliver.
Speaker 1: Hey, Tanya, thank you so much for inviting me. It's
Speaker 1: really a pleasure to be here. So, as Tanya said,
Speaker 1: my name is Oliver Starr. I am the executive director
Speaker 1: of the Tahoe Wolf Center. I've been an entrepreneur, a
Speaker 1: professional athlete, but the most important thing I've ever done
Speaker 1: is my work with wolves. I've spent the last forty
Speaker 1: years of my life living, working with, in studying wolves,
Speaker 1: and a lot of what I'll be talking about today
Speaker 1: is inspired by those observations.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, because wow, wolves alpha badass, right, dominant leaders.
Speaker 2: This is what we think, you know, and we think, yeah,
Speaker 2: so you're here to shed some light, So why don't
Speaker 2: we define Like you give me your definition of alpha,
Speaker 2: I'll jump in with a little bit. Let's define the
Speaker 2: word alpha both from the mainstream perspective and then let's
Speaker 2: call the ignorance out in it too. So how do you,
Speaker 2: when you're out in the world, like the word alpha?
Speaker 2: What does it mean to you? How do you define
Speaker 2: it in relationship?
Speaker 1: So you might find it funny for a guy that
Speaker 1: works with wolves, but I actually really don't even like
Speaker 1: the word alpha. It's caused a lot of problems for
Speaker 1: you know, community society and also for wolves. I mean, technically,
Speaker 1: for us, the term alpha simply refers to either the
Speaker 1: male or female in the breeding pair of a wolf pack,
Speaker 1: which are always families. But to me, there's a larger
Speaker 1: meaning in the term, which is really leader, steward, caretaker,
Speaker 1: altruistic being of either sex who is focused on the
Speaker 1: well being of the community they serve.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and that's not what some of these guys
Speaker 2: on these podcasts are talking about. I mean, you know,
Speaker 2: when we think alpha, we think badass, dominant, kick, your ass.
Speaker 2: You know, this kind of idea of macho, take no prisoners.
Speaker 2: You know, everybody when you walk into a room, everybody
Speaker 2: looks at you because you like you dominate the room, energetic, whatever,
Speaker 2: and that there's so many men that believe alpha equates
Speaker 2: confidence and that alpha equates desirability, and that alpha quits
Speaker 2: whatever it is. They think the inn cells. You know,
Speaker 2: we got to and I know you're familiar with what
Speaker 2: an in cel is, but if people aren't an in cellar,
Speaker 2: these guys who believe that basically, you know, life or
Speaker 2: women have screwed them out of their rightful sex ability
Speaker 2: to have sex. And so they see that because they
Speaker 2: don't feel like alpha's that women don't want them. I
Speaker 2: think it's mainly because you know, they're victims that women
Speaker 2: don't want them. But okay, that's just my thought. So
Speaker 2: to me, alpha, I agree with you. Alpha is not
Speaker 2: a something that these guys that are telling you how
Speaker 2: to be in alpha really know anything about. So tell
Speaker 2: us more, Oliver, tell us about alpha in the woods,
Speaker 2: Alpha in the wild, or I mean, you're you're a
Speaker 2: badass guy. So first of all, you're a badass guy.
Speaker 2: You know, like you're rolling around with wolves. You were
Speaker 2: in a camo, You're doing all this stuff. You are
Speaker 2: a man's man, no doubt about that. So tell us more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm a pretty pretty slight guy. I'm about
Speaker 1: six feet tall, pretty slight. But yeah, my family was
Speaker 1: in the ranching business. I live in the mountains. I've
Speaker 1: lived off the grid. In addition of my work with wolves,
Speaker 1: I work with an organization that gets bears out from
Speaker 1: under people's houses. So there are very few people alive
Speaker 1: that have spent more time in close proximity to mama
Speaker 1: bears with cubs.
Speaker 3: Not to be fair, black bears, grizzly bears will kill you.
Speaker 1: You don't go into a house with a grizzly bear
Speaker 1: because you come out the other end of the grizzly bear.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so you know, I don't think people would
Speaker 1: find me to be a snowflake. But let's let's talk
Speaker 1: about alpha and where this came from. And you like
Speaker 1: popping balloons. I like popping balloons, So let's pop a
Speaker 1: few balloons.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the whole concept of alpha as it has kind
Speaker 1: of been popularized, comes from bad wolf research, and essentially,
Speaker 1: they took a bunch of unrelated wolves, and they put
Speaker 1: them into captivity together and they watched what they did,
Speaker 1: and from those observations, which originally took place in Germany
Speaker 1: and then subsequently were followed up by arguably the world's
Speaker 1: most famous wolf biologist, a man by the name of
Speaker 1: El David Meach at the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago, and
Speaker 1: what they observed was that unrelated wolves put in captivity
Speaker 1: form a pecking order that is largely driven by violence, aggression, domination.
Speaker 1: And from that they came up with this whole concept
Speaker 1: of alpha beta omega that was popularized in a book
Speaker 1: called The Wolf, which went on to be a best
Speaker 1: seller by David Meach. But the problem is that what
Speaker 1: they were observing was basically prison yard politics, not wolf biology.
Speaker 1: And David Meach went on to do a lot of
Speaker 1: field work, including in the High Arctic at Isle roy Aalen, Michigan,
Speaker 1: and what he found out.
Speaker 3: Was that he was totally wrong.
Speaker 1: That wolves are remarkably collegial, that the dominant animal, the
Speaker 1: ones that we refer to as alpha, are simply the
Speaker 1: breeding pair and they're the parents. And he was so
Speaker 1: distressed by his mistake and the consequences it had that
Speaker 1: he actually tried to get his best selling book pulled
Speaker 1: off the shelves. And if you don't believe me, you
Speaker 1: can go to Google and just type in Alpha Wolf
Speaker 1: wrong and you'll see David Meach basically saying I was wrong.
Speaker 1: We made a mistake, which is pretty interesting for consider
Speaker 1: the world's most most famous both biologies, and he's tried
Speaker 1: throughout the rest of his career to correct the mistake.
Speaker 1: The problem is that it caught fire socially and sociologically,
Speaker 1: and there's money to be made in convincing people that
Speaker 1: they need to be badass by acting tough.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So it's interesting how our societal constructs can come out
Speaker 2: of something, as you know, like a book that catches
Speaker 2: and then it goes and then everybody grabs it and
Speaker 2: runs with it, and it doesn't really matter if it's
Speaker 2: wrong or it's right. I used to teach men and
Speaker 2: women how to do kegels, and you know, keegels were
Speaker 2: the gold standard of how to like not only improve
Speaker 2: your orgasm, but you know, incontinence whatever else, blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: And then I found out from a biomechanical engineer who
Speaker 2: specialized in pelvis that we're doing the wrong thing. Tightening
Speaker 2: and tightening and tightening is actually making things worse, not better,
Speaker 2: because we do the most kegels in the world, and
Speaker 2: we have the most incontinence and other issues in the world,
Speaker 2: and people that are having five babies out in the
Speaker 2: wild or whatever places in the world have none of that.
Speaker 2: It's like, what's the deal? So I had to like
Speaker 2: go back and literally everything I'd ever written, send emails,
Speaker 2: whatever I was wrong, stop doing that. You know, we're
Speaker 2: doing this now, so and it's very hard trend to break.
Speaker 2: So okay, So we think of alpha's as dominant as
Speaker 2: uh you said for strength or thinking that you said
Speaker 2: something because I'm I'm part of your coach. You got
Speaker 2: just accepted to it being a tech speaker in one
Speaker 2: of the events I'm running, and we talked a little
Speaker 2: bit about that. Tell me you had those forwards dominance
Speaker 2: versus strength? What what was that? What was that? You said?
Speaker 3: We captured it for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we think of.
Speaker 1: The dominant equal strength, yes, right, that that aggression equals courage, right,
Speaker 1: and that that and that empathy equals.
Speaker 2: Weakness exactly, So say those again, please.
Speaker 1: So that dominant equal strength, that aggression equals courage, and
Speaker 1: that empathy equals weakness.
Speaker 2: Right, and so we see that and that's the light
Speaker 2: that gets cast on this whole idea about alpha as well. Fortunately, Yeah,
Speaker 2: the man makes the decision and he runs the show
Speaker 2: and he handles that stuff. And I had a conversation
Speaker 2: with a man who was totally into that alpha. You know,
Speaker 2: you can't learn. He went as far as a men
Speaker 2: can't learn from women. I was wondering what his mother
Speaker 2: taught him. But you know, the say, it's like, men
Speaker 2: don't learn from women, We're not supposed to learn from women.
Speaker 2: You're shaking your head. Your audience can't see that. But
Speaker 2: if you saw the look on his face right now,
Speaker 2: he's looking down just he looks incredulous. So your thoughts
Speaker 2: on how do so why do you think men are
Speaker 2: drawn specifically to this idea of alpha.
Speaker 1: I think it's because the people that are legitimate, like
Speaker 1: the people that I look at as alpha's right, the
Speaker 1: people that act alpha for real in the in the
Speaker 1: biological sense, aren't showy, and so you don't have the
Speaker 1: same obvious role models. I mean, it's way it's way
Speaker 1: more fun and easier to say Jack Reacher is a
Speaker 1: role model, you know. I mean, but first of all,
Speaker 1: that's a fictitious character, and secondly, that's not an effective leader.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you look at organizations and even wolf
Speaker 1: packs that stand the test of time, their leadership is
Speaker 1: service driven, not not dominance in fear driven. You want
Speaker 1: people to follow you and respect you because they want to,
Speaker 1: not because you made that right.
Speaker 2: And so when we think of wolves, we think of scary.
Speaker 2: A lot of people think of scary, think of fears,
Speaker 2: think of you know, they're going to take you out
Speaker 2: and take you down. And so that's the alpha that
Speaker 2: we're trying to recreate. You know, standing there and I'm
Speaker 2: just like imposing, you know, I got my hands on
Speaker 2: my hips there and I'm imposing and I'm scary and whatever.
Speaker 2: And you see the arms crossed across across the chest,
Speaker 2: you know, immobile in moment, right, yeah, yeah right, immovable, immobile,
Speaker 2: that kind of thing, solid spartans, Yeah right. So you know,
Speaker 2: how is this how do you think this is hurting relationships?
Speaker 2: And more and morely, how is this hurting men?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I think that women see through a
Speaker 1: lot of that bravado. I mean, certainly there's there's women
Speaker 1: who find these hyper you know, hyper exaggerated masculine men
Speaker 1: appealing maybe on the surface, but I doubt if they
Speaker 1: really enjoy being in long term relationships with those people,
Speaker 1: if they act the same way at home as they
Speaker 1: do in the bar. I you know, I look, we're
Speaker 1: still a biological creature, and biological success is defined largely
Speaker 1: by how far our genes spread into society going forward.
Speaker 1: And so if you look at what women I think
Speaker 1: would find appealing is a partner that can help them
Speaker 1: successfully raise many generations of offspring.
Speaker 3: Right, And.
Speaker 1: You know, men they aren't aren't kind, aren't stewards, aren't
Speaker 1: going to take good care of the kids. They're not
Speaker 1: going to be evolutionarily successful. I mean, and wolves it's
Speaker 1: the same thing, right, I mean, wolves are very collaborative.
Speaker 3: They call them social predators.
Speaker 1: And that means that unlike bears or big cats, they
Speaker 1: have to work together to kill things they're much much
Speaker 1: smaller than their prey. They're collaborative hunters. They are collaborative
Speaker 1: in raising the pups. The whole pack works together to
Speaker 1: raise the pups. There are siblings from prior years that
Speaker 1: are babysitters. They all work to bring food to the
Speaker 1: nursing mother. If there's more than one breeding female in
Speaker 1: a pack, they work even harder to support all of them.
Speaker 1: Once those pups are big enough to start eating solid food,
Speaker 1: all of the wolves provision them first by carrying meat
Speaker 1: and their stomach and regurgitating it for the pups. That's
Speaker 1: where the face looking behavior comes from, by the way,
Speaker 1: is when your dog is trying to lick your face.
Speaker 1: That is a very puppy like behavior, and they're basically saying,
Speaker 1: feed me, throw up, throw up for me, throw up
Speaker 1: for me, and then that and then that becomes a
Speaker 1: social bonding characteristic that carries over into mature animals, which
Speaker 1: is why you know, if you ever see any of
Speaker 1: my by the way, I'm all over the wolf guy
Speaker 1: on YouTube, on TikTok whatever. You see my videos, and
Speaker 1: there's a lot of videos of me just getting mulled
Speaker 1: and they're climbing up to me to get to my
Speaker 1: face because in many respects, i'm that I am that figure,
Speaker 1: i am that breeding male in my wolf family group
Speaker 1: because I'm the one that has provisioned these animals their
Speaker 1: whole life from when they were tiny puppies on a bottle,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, I you know, I think that that
Speaker 1: that ability to caretake and be a steward of a
Speaker 1: family or a steward of a team is you know,
Speaker 1: for me, that's what a real lialf is. And I
Speaker 1: actually think that a lot of women see that. I mean,
Speaker 1: time is very kind and saying I'm handsome. I guess
Speaker 1: my wife would probably agree. I'm not sure that they
Speaker 1: work at large. Right, I'm a bit grizzled and g uh.
Speaker 1: I think the last time you saw me, I still
Speaker 1: had my winter haircut.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I get one.
Speaker 1: I get one one shaven, one haircut a year in
Speaker 1: the spring, and then I let it go and so
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit more tidy today.
Speaker 2: He's also looking a little let me tell you that
Speaker 2: he looks a little bit like blushy and a little
Speaker 2: bit like he's like a handsome, so you know, he's
Speaker 2: not sitting there with his hands. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm a handsome, check me out.
Speaker 3: You know what's funny is it's weird. It's on TikTok.
Speaker 1: I get a ton of a ton of comments that
Speaker 1: I look like and I don't even know. I don't
Speaker 1: watch the show, so I don't really know who it is.
Speaker 1: But my wife agrees that I look like Megan from Walking.
Speaker 2: Oh you actually you know what you actually do? You
Speaker 2: actually do? Yes, there is this There is a little
Speaker 2: bit of similarity there for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So now you guys kind of get to get a
Speaker 1: hind of what I look like.
Speaker 2: They're gonna go check out your wolf videos anyway, for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The wolf videos are fun. Some of them are quite
Speaker 1: viral because everybody and everybody, you know. The funny thing
Speaker 1: is how many people want to see them attack me.
Speaker 1: It's amazing how many comments I get of or the
Speaker 1: two most common comments I get on the most viral
Speaker 1: videos are you're not alpha, which is to me, or
Speaker 1: or hoping that one of them is going to try
Speaker 1: to eat me.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2: That is interesting in our society here, that right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: because you're not like because you're not walking over to
Speaker 2: the wolf knocking it down and standing on its stomach
Speaker 2: and like, you know.
Speaker 1: And what's really sad about this alpha thing is that
Speaker 1: it's had horrible consequences for dogs. It's had just terrible
Speaker 1: dog training repercussions. I also am the author of the
Speaker 1: Wolf Lover's Guide You're Raising Dogs, which actually last week
Speaker 1: at number one on Amazon in a couple categories.
Speaker 3: And it's not a dog training book.
Speaker 1: It's just about basically being nice to your dog, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean just being nice and I mean, you know what,
Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, I think that it's so
Speaker 1: easy to summarize what being a good alpha is. Just
Speaker 1: be nice, be nice?
Speaker 2: Wait what the nice guys finish?
Speaker 3: Last?
Speaker 2: What are you using the four letter nice word?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I'm not sure that people would say
Speaker 1: that I'm always nice because I'm hyper competitive. I have
Speaker 1: to really take myself out of competitive situations because I'm just.
Speaker 3: That guy, right, I like to win. I'm used to winning.
Speaker 2: But could we use the word kind?
Speaker 1: I think kind maybe? Yeah, I think that's probably a
Speaker 1: better word, is be kind? Right, And I have to
Speaker 1: remind myself that because you know, I still get in
Speaker 1: fights online, particularly about coyotes.
Speaker 3: I get a lot of arguments about coyotes.
Speaker 2: But you're so Look when you're passionate and you want
Speaker 2: to defend, so you basically what you're doing is you're
Speaker 2: protecting what you feel is the underdog. If I can
Speaker 2: throw that pun in there, you're like you're a protector,
Speaker 2: and that is part of what we would consider a
Speaker 2: great man trait.
Speaker 1: Perpetual underdog. But the funny thing is they're actually the overdog.
Speaker 1: And the reason I say that it is because we
Speaker 1: kill the government and people in general kill more than
Speaker 1: half a million coyotes a year. We've been doing that
Speaker 1: since the eighteen hundreds. And when we started, there were
Speaker 1: no coyotes east of the Mississippi, and now everywhere. They're
Speaker 1: in New York City, they're in Chicago. They are winning.
Speaker 1: No matter what we throw at coyotes, they continue to win.
Speaker 1: So rats, yeah, well, where rats go, coyotes go. And
Speaker 1: I tell people, as an aside, you know, you can
Speaker 1: have two coyotes in your neighborhood or a hundred mice
Speaker 1: in your house.
Speaker 3: It's your choice.
Speaker 2: Oh, I picked the coyotes.
Speaker 3: I picked the coyotes too. They're super interesting, also family oriented. Coyote.
Speaker 1: I have a a as a side talking about an
Speaker 1: al Alphaslright, So coyotes hold territories. Where I live, it's
Speaker 1: in the woods, and I know my wildlife. And there's
Speaker 1: been this coyote and he's very old. Now, he's got
Speaker 1: to be seven or eight years old. Coyotes made for life.
Speaker 1: They're wonderful parents. And I call him Barkie, and man,
Speaker 1: this guy is held probably the most desirable territory in
Speaker 1: the Tahoe Basin of on Lake Tahoe for eight years.
Speaker 1: I mean that makes him an ancient kyote, like kyotes
Speaker 1: don't live to be eight.
Speaker 3: And I see him almost every day.
Speaker 1: He's very loud, and I always imagine that he because
Speaker 1: coyotes do this thing where they follow you and they're.
Speaker 3: What they're doing. People are like, oh, he's stalking me,
Speaker 3: he's trying to look my dog.
Speaker 1: No, they're trying to get you away from their territory
Speaker 1: because they know your threat, and so they follow you
Speaker 1: about thirty forty yards away and sometimes they bark at you.
Speaker 3: Sometimes they just follow you.
Speaker 1: And so I think that he goes home every night
Speaker 1: and he's like, oh, that's such a rough day.
Speaker 3: I had to chase that guy and his wolves way
Speaker 3: again today. It is just terrible. He's just coming over here,
Speaker 3: you know, and she rubs his paws.
Speaker 2: It says, I'm sorry, any I know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes she's sometimes with him, but she's she's much much
Speaker 1: less bold than Barkie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well that's so if so let's let's get
Speaker 2: Let's give the guys something here to those guys that
Speaker 2: are like trying to feel like, oh I'm a batam hell,
Speaker 2: I'm in ohega mal, I'm nobody wants me because I'm
Speaker 2: not like, you know whatever enough? What what would you
Speaker 2: say to them? Uh in in this instance of the
Speaker 2: that they maybe try to stop being alpha in the
Speaker 2: way that you know, these podcasts and these guys who
Speaker 2: I'm not naming but I could name, but you know
Speaker 2: who they are want them to be?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 2: What is the difference? What would you say?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 1: I mean, the first thing is throw away these labels
Speaker 1: because they're using them wrong. I mean, it's simply a
Speaker 1: technical term that describes a position in the hierarchy of
Speaker 1: a Wolf family group.
Speaker 3: It's that's all it is.
Speaker 1: It is not what they're saying of this dominance driven like,
Speaker 1: that's just a bastardized, incorrect, stolen interpretation for publicity purposes.
Speaker 1: So get rid of the labels, right, Just be a man,
Speaker 1: a decent, kind, empathetic man.
Speaker 3: And if you want an action item, I mean, all.
Speaker 1: Of us have had great and terrible bosses and great
Speaker 1: and terrible coaches, and I guarantee you that that if
Speaker 1: when I say that right now, in your mind's eye,
Speaker 1: you can remember your worst boss, You can remember your
Speaker 1: best boss. What were the characteristics of your best boss,
Speaker 1: your best coach? Did you have an awesome dad? Did
Speaker 1: you have a friend with an awesome dad? And you're
Speaker 1: like that, I wish that guy was my dad. He's
Speaker 1: an awesome dad. And I guarantee you that none of
Speaker 1: those people, not a one of them, leads through fear
Speaker 1: and intimidation, belittles you for failure, right, makes you afraid
Speaker 1: to speak out, makes you feel like you're not heard,
Speaker 1: not understood.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: So think about the best of those people in your
Speaker 1: life and embrace those characteristics for yourself. You will be
Speaker 1: a much more appealing man. Yeah, you don't have to
Speaker 1: be physically dominating. And remember that in human society, you
Speaker 1: know who are the winners right now, it's intellectually dominant.
Speaker 1: You know, in spite of what these guys say, the
Speaker 1: smartest guys in the room or the winners. So be intellectual, learn,
Speaker 1: be curious, be confident in yourself because you are constantly learning. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: you don't need to enforce your will on others. It's
Speaker 1: much more persuasive to have people align with you because
Speaker 1: they agree.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, And I think from a woman's perspective, and
Speaker 2: I am that woman that has dated guys that are
Speaker 2: considered hyper masculine, like you know, navy seals, a gun runner,
Speaker 2: even some guys that like people look at and go ooh.
Speaker 2: And if they weren't kind, I wouldn't have been dating them.
Speaker 2: So it just happened that they looked that way, but
Speaker 2: they were kind, and so I think that was the part.
Speaker 2: Because if you touch a woman's heart and you one
Speaker 2: of the you know, I tell men this all the time,
Speaker 2: if you want to be thought of, so having a
Speaker 2: woman think of you a lot, right, So not just
Speaker 2: physical geometrical attraction we all have. That's only one attraction
Speaker 2: level is physical geometry. The rest of attraction has a
Speaker 2: whole spectrum of it, and one of the big ones
Speaker 2: is did you touch make her laugh? Did you touch
Speaker 2: her heart? I qualify men on first dates by how
Speaker 2: they treat the wait staff. So you know, if they're
Speaker 2: like a you know, like all this kind of stuff,
Speaker 2: I'm like forget about it, because they're supposed to be
Speaker 2: on their best behavior on a first date. If they
Speaker 2: are like dominating and being you know, to me, to
Speaker 2: the staff or anything else. They're not showing kindness and empathy.
Speaker 2: It's a no no matter what they look like. So
Speaker 2: that's what I would say about that. So men, kindness,
Speaker 2: I know the idea. That's another thing. Nice guys finish last.
Speaker 2: A nice guy is somebody who doesn't have boundaries, who
Speaker 2: is just laying down and saying, whatever you want, whatever
Speaker 2: you do, whatever. They're not having true conversations, they're not
Speaker 2: standing for themselves in a way. You can stand for
Speaker 2: yourself without being dominant. You can stand for yourself. And
Speaker 2: so I say, the kind guy always finishes first in
Speaker 2: one regard or another, because that's leading with your heart
Speaker 2: and your intelligence. You have to be intelligent to be kind.
Speaker 1: So and guys, listen, I mean I've I've always punched
Speaker 1: way above my weight when it comes to women in
Speaker 1: my life.
Speaker 3: You know, I've been.
Speaker 1: Very fortunate to have had spectacular not just not just intellectually,
Speaker 1: but fierce beautiful women in my life. Wi My wife
Speaker 1: is a world class chef. She runs award winning restaurants, right,
Speaker 1: And I think that nothing makes a man look better
Speaker 1: than putting the woman in their life first and letting
Speaker 1: them shine right, you don't diminish yourself by doing that.
Speaker 1: You Actually, I think people look up to you even more.
Speaker 1: They're like, Wow, what an awesome, awesome, confident guy.
Speaker 2: Absolutely so I love you said about you know, I
Speaker 2: think I always think men do better leveling up and dating,
Speaker 2: and that just doesn't mean just physically that they're dating
Speaker 2: above whatever their level is, but intellectually or you know, accomplishments,
Speaker 2: because men tend to strive when they're inspired, and if
Speaker 2: you date down, you feel like you're the top dog
Speaker 2: already you don't have anywhere else to go. That's an
Speaker 2: interesting thing. All right, we're wrapping this one up. We're
Speaker 2: coming back and talking more about femalees. So we're going
Speaker 2: to go now and to look at female wolves and
Speaker 2: things like that. We're gonna be talking all wolves. But
Speaker 2: all of this has to do with, of course, how
Speaker 2: you as a man can be better in relationships, better
Speaker 2: in your life, and really feel better in general about yourselves.
Speaker 2: So we'll be back in just next week. I guess
Speaker 2: I was gonna say just a minute, because we'll be
Speaker 2: back in just a minute, but in real time you'll
Speaker 2: see this next week.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Men, Sex and Tundra.
Speaker 2: Discover where your parents born in. Religion never taught you
Speaker 2: about being a man and having extraordinary sex. Get ready
Speaker 2: to have your mind blown and your world rocked.