Speaker 1: It's nice eyes.
Speaker 2: Unknown, Boston's news radio. Kyle Bray great radio name short, sweet, sweet,
Speaker 2: two monosyllab syllables like Dan Ray, Kyle Bray, really good, Thanks, Kyle,
Speaker 2: appreciated a whole lot. Good evening. Everyone in welcome and
Speaker 2: no excuse me. This is where's the week one? It's
Speaker 2: a Thursday night edition of Nightside. I was just talking
Speaker 2: with Rob Brooks, our producer, and how disappointing that loss
Speaker 2: was today. The Red Sox ace getting dusted up a
Speaker 2: little bit in the first two winnings by a team
Speaker 2: from Seattle that does not really I think threaten too
Speaker 2: many pitchers, but they got to him early today and
Speaker 2: they hung on. So hey, there's still one game above
Speaker 2: five hundred, that's for sure. My name is Dan Ray.
Speaker 2: I'm the host of Nightside, and as we do every year,
Speaker 2: I would like to just acknowledge this today as Armenian
Speaker 2: Remembrance Day. The White House today released a statement that
Speaker 2: on this day of remembrance, we again joined the great
Speaker 2: Armenian community in America and around the world in mourning
Speaker 2: the many lives that were lost every year. On April
Speaker 2: twenty fourth, we reflect on the strong and enduring ties
Speaker 2: between the Armeric between the American and Armenians people, Armenian peoples.
Speaker 2: We're proud of the American Committee for Armenia and Syrian Relief,
Speaker 2: a groundbreaking effort established in nineteen fifteen that provided crucial
Speaker 2: humanitarian support to Armenian refugees, and grateful to the thousands
Speaker 2: of Americans who contributed a volunteer to help the Armenians
Speaker 2: expel from their homes. And again, there's a lot of
Speaker 2: good that goes on in the world, but obviously there's
Speaker 2: a lot of bad that goes on in the world.
Speaker 2: And so we remember Armenian Remembrance Day today, twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: We have a lot of listeners and a lot of
Speaker 2: folks in the Greater Boston community of Armenian heritage, and
Speaker 2: several of them are good friends of mine. So that
Speaker 2: acknowledgment was for everyone in the Armenian community. We have
Speaker 2: four guests scheduled this hour, and one of the guests
Speaker 2: is joining us right now, Samantha Joseph. Samantha Joseph the
Speaker 2: Anti Defamation League New England's regional director. And so we
Speaker 2: moved from the way Armenians were treated to the way
Speaker 2: Jewish people are still being treated. Last year, twenty twenty four,
Speaker 2: apparently there was a record number of anti Semitic incidents
Speaker 2: here in New England. So to switt this up for us,
Speaker 2: Samantha Joseph joins us, Samantha, welcome. I'm sorry that we
Speaker 2: have to focus on such a negative story, but I
Speaker 2: think we have to kind of shine the light on
Speaker 2: this sort of behavior which, for some reason just doesn't
Speaker 2: seem to want to go away.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2: You're welcome. Tell us about I guess the anti Semitic
Speaker 2: incidents here in New England sad to say, for the
Speaker 2: fifth year in a row, all previous annual records. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is in the wake of what happened on October seventh,
Speaker 2: twenty twenty three. Anything I would think that that would
Speaker 2: have reversed that trend. Tell us about it.
Speaker 3: Yes, October seventh was definitely a watershed moment here in
Speaker 3: America for anti Semitic incidents, even though they have been
Speaker 3: on the rise for the last five years, and we're
Speaker 3: seeing attitudes towards antisemitism, you know, changing in very concerning
Speaker 3: in negative ways. The amount of incidents after October seventh
Speaker 3: is really unprecedented. We've seen almost double the number in
Speaker 3: twenty twenty four that we had in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 3: The very concerning you know, Jewish people are really being targeted,
Speaker 3: and it's really scary for all of us.
Speaker 2: So give us a quick rundown if you will. And again,
Speaker 2: I don't want to make this like a baseball box score,
Speaker 2: but are we talking about confrontations? Are we talking about
Speaker 2: people's grawling, you know, chalk on the sidewalk? How you know?
Speaker 2: I hate to put it like this, but how bad
Speaker 2: is it? I mean, any form event of anti Semitism
Speaker 2: is virulent. Clearly everyone knows that, and we talk about
Speaker 2: it a lot here on the show. Sarah Kolb has
Speaker 2: bet a guest on this show. Yes, many times, as
Speaker 2: as Jeff Robbins. I have seen a lot of anti
Speaker 2: semitism in this country metastasized towards the American left. But
Speaker 2: this report would suggest that there is a resurgence of
Speaker 2: anti Semitism coming from white racial groups which identify as
Speaker 2: being on the far right. Tell us about that.
Speaker 3: Yes, there's a lot of different forms of anti semitism
Speaker 3: here in Massachusetts end around the country. We do have
Speaker 3: a significant amount of white supremacist extremist activity. That accounts
Speaker 3: for eighty one of the incidents that took place, so
Speaker 3: you know, almost a quarter of them. For example, you know,
Speaker 3: there were flyers saying to boycott Jewish businesses that you know,
Speaker 3: were that we traced directly to the Patriot Front and
Speaker 3: other white supremacist groups. They're also attacked. You know, I
Speaker 3: would say mostly vandalism is you know, one of their
Speaker 3: key tactics, although there is some harassment and threats as well.
Speaker 3: We've in addition to vandalism, well, we do see a
Speaker 3: lot of harassment, particularly on college campuses. In Massachusetts, college
Speaker 3: incidents really skyrocketed. They were up eighty six percent from
Speaker 3: twenty three to twenty four, with almost one hundred and
Speaker 3: fifty one.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if you saw what was going
Speaker 2: on down in new Haven, Connecticut, on the campus at
Speaker 2: Yale yesterday, but it was disgusting. There are a group
Speaker 2: of people who linked their arms to prevent Jewish students
Speaker 2: from traversing the campus and getting to classes and getting
Speaker 2: to libraries and all of that. Obviously, these these wackadoodle
Speaker 2: right wing groups, which seems to seem to me, I
Speaker 2: know that there's something that needs They need to be
Speaker 2: watched and monitored. But it's like the twenty same their
Speaker 2: twenties losers who form one group and then morph into another.
Speaker 2: We got to watch those. But what's going on in
Speaker 2: college campuses? When I saw that yesterday at Yale there
Speaker 2: was a student who was not being permitted by other
Speaker 2: students and he didn't he didn't initiate any confrontation, but
Speaker 2: it was appalling, particularly at Yale University, you know, the
Speaker 2: second most prestigious IVY League college in the IVY League,
Speaker 2: the first, of course being Harvard, which has their own
Speaker 2: sets of issues. This is writing stuff and you don't
Speaker 2: have to be Jewish and I am not Jewish. I
Speaker 2: happen to be Roman Catholic. You don't have to be
Speaker 2: Jewish to be concerned about it, because we learned from
Speaker 2: the Holocaust. Starts with one group, then another group, and
Speaker 2: then another group, and then eventually it's your group. So yeah,
Speaker 2: this is this is a warning that we need to
Speaker 2: talk about and I'll give you a final word on it.
Speaker 2: If this. If you want to mention how people can
Speaker 2: show some support to the ADL, that's fine as well,
Speaker 2: go right ahead.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, I mean what we saw at Yale and
Speaker 3: you know a number of college campuses that's not legitimate
Speaker 3: criticism of Israel, which we don't count as anti semitism, right,
Speaker 3: that is harassment targeted at Jewish students, preventing them from
Speaker 3: moving around campus. You know, it's very very clear. You know,
Speaker 3: you know it when you see it. I just want
Speaker 3: to encourage people that if they experience an incident of antisemitism,
Speaker 3: that they report it to ADL. The numbers drive policy, right,
Speaker 3: that's how we make decisions and legislative change, and so
Speaker 3: we want to be of service to the community and
Speaker 3: help protect Jewish and all and all members of the community.
Speaker 3: So just please don't hesitate to reach out if you experience.
Speaker 2: It, and if they would like to get in touch
Speaker 2: with the New England chapter of the Anti Defamation League.
Speaker 2: What's the easiest website that you'd like to give.
Speaker 3: It's eighty L dot org slash report Incident and it's
Speaker 3: very easy. You just really google ADL incident.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, keep up the good work and keep
Speaker 2: up the fight. I think it's a fight that sadly
Speaker 2: is going to continue. I wish that we could wave
Speaker 2: a magic wand and make it go away. But there's
Speaker 2: a lot of hatred and a lot of ignorance on
Speaker 2: both ends of the extreme flanks of our political spectrum,
Speaker 2: and it's not healthy for anyone. It's certainly not healthy
Speaker 2: for those that purvey this stuff. I mean, I just
Speaker 2: can't imagine how people can put their heart on their
Speaker 2: pillow at night and saying, oh, I did something really good, jineers,
Speaker 2: I scrawled a swatstick on the side of a building
Speaker 2: or on a sidewalk. I mean, if that's what you'll
Speaker 2: life is all about, it's a pretty empty life. Samantha.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much for your time tonight, and keep
Speaker 2: up the good work. And please say hi to everyone
Speaker 2: if you talk to Jeff Robbins. Yeah, we'll do.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for raising raising awareness about this
Speaker 3: very welcome.
Speaker 2: When we come back, we're going to talk about a
Speaker 2: really great nonprofit. It's a simple idea, but it is
Speaker 2: a it's an idea that really does help people. Simple, simplistic,
Speaker 2: I guess, or it's simplicity, but it's very effective. It's
Speaker 2: called One Warm Coat, a national nonprofit dedicated to providing
Speaker 2: free coach to children and adults in need. We'll be
Speaker 2: talking with the president and CEO of One Warm Coat
Speaker 2: right after this break on Nightside, and I would once
Speaker 2: again remind you that if you get a chance, if
Speaker 2: you haven't brought the iHeart app onto your devices, just
Speaker 2: go on. It's a new and improved app. It also
Speaker 2: really gives you access to what we call some of
Speaker 2: the webcast. The podcast that iHeart has just won a
Speaker 2: whole bunch of what they call Webby Awards. This is
Speaker 2: what they call the Oscars of the Internet. iHeartMedia was
Speaker 2: officially named the Podcast Company of the Year with a
Speaker 2: whopping fourteen wins. Want to hear some of those award
Speaker 2: winning podcasts, just open up the free iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 2: Dive into our fantastic collection. Part of that collection, of course,
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Speaker 2: it back on Nightside.
Speaker 4: Right after this, you're on Night Side with Dan Ray
Speaker 4: on WBZ, Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2: All right, welcome back everyone. There's a lot of charities
Speaker 2: that we talk about here on Nightside, and a lot
Speaker 2: of them they're all very valuable ideas, but every once
Speaker 2: in a while you come across one that really does
Speaker 2: strike you as a brilliant idea. And with us is
Speaker 2: Beth Amadillo. She's the president and CEO of One Warm Coade. Beth,
Speaker 2: welcome to Nightside. How are you tonight.
Speaker 5: I'm doing great. Thanks so much for having me Dan.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we've profiled this charity before. I'm not
Speaker 2: sure if it was with you or not. But tell
Speaker 2: us about One Warm Coat. I mean, the name itself,
Speaker 2: the three words One Warm Coat describes exactly what this
Speaker 2: wonderful organization is all about. Go right ahead.
Speaker 5: So, thirty three years ago, one woman who had one
Speaker 5: coat she wanted to donate started an annual coat drive
Speaker 5: in San Francisco, and it's grown from that one drive
Speaker 5: to now every year we will have thousands of coat
Speaker 5: drives across the country and we're able to collect and
Speaker 5: distribute more than half a million coats every year. And
Speaker 5: at the same time that it's providing warmth to children
Speaker 5: and adults who really need it, it's also keeping a
Speaker 5: lot of gently worn outerwear from being thrown away.
Speaker 2: Very important. You know, that's a double benefit. So describe
Speaker 2: to us you're not looking necessarily for, you know, Brooks Brothers,
Speaker 2: Tweed coats and tuxedos, you know, and that have to
Speaker 2: be in premo condition. You don't want things that are
Speaker 2: raggedy or give us what the standard is. Some people
Speaker 2: can go through their closets and say, yeah, I haven't
Speaker 2: won that coat in ten years, which exactly what is
Speaker 2: the quality that a lot of times, matter of fact,
Speaker 2: some of the stuff you haven't won in ten years
Speaker 2: is in better shape than the stuff that you wear
Speaker 2: every day.
Speaker 5: Frankly, exactly, we're not super choosy, except that we want
Speaker 5: the items to be clean and to have no holes
Speaker 5: or tears or stains. So I always say, you know,
Speaker 5: if you wouldn't put it on your kids to send
Speaker 5: them to school, don't donate it. There's other programs for that.
Speaker 5: There's textile recycling programs where you can donate textiles that
Speaker 5: just really aren't enough shape to be worn by someone else.
Speaker 5: But the cool thing is that we really we need everything.
Speaker 5: We need everything from like your light windbreakers and rain
Speaker 5: jackets for this time of year, to really thick, heavy coats.
Speaker 5: And I know you're in Boston where it gets very cold,
Speaker 5: so really anything in all ages, so from infants to
Speaker 5: four X and men's coats, women's coats and everything in between.
Speaker 2: So it must be you must have a website. I
Speaker 2: assume where people were in Boston. You have collection sites
Speaker 2: design understand that all over the country. Explain to us
Speaker 2: how what do you do with it? Do you bring
Speaker 2: the collect these some of the boxes you see or
Speaker 2: do you have to bring them to a location and
Speaker 2: actually hand them to a person and you've got to
Speaker 2: figure out where those locations are.
Speaker 5: Yes, so we always say those kind of three ways
Speaker 5: that people can engage with us. The easiest way is,
Speaker 5: like you mentioned, to clean out your closets, clean out
Speaker 5: out your spouse's closets, your kids closets. I have two
Speaker 5: teenage boys who outgrow their coats every single year and
Speaker 5: set us aside. You can go to our website, which
Speaker 5: is just one warmcoat dot org and search by zip
Speaker 5: code or by city or state to find places near
Speaker 5: you where you can drop them off. This time of year,
Speaker 5: there aren't as many, but we do have fifteen hundred
Speaker 5: local nonprofit partners across the country who are accepting coats
Speaker 5: year round, and we do have several of those in
Speaker 5: the Boston metropolitan area. And then as the season gets colder,
Speaker 5: as we get towards fall and back to school time,
Speaker 5: and then on into the holiday season, more and more
Speaker 5: coat drives will be taking place. And that's when it
Speaker 5: gets really fun too, because we have a lot of
Speaker 5: national retail partners like Land's End and j Crewe and
Speaker 5: some upscale ones like Todd Snyder and McCaw where if
Speaker 5: you take a coat to donate, you'll actually get a
Speaker 5: discount on a new coat, sometimes as much as one
Speaker 5: hundred dollars off, So that's kind of yes, So it's
Speaker 5: really great. So that's the easiest way to participate. The
Speaker 5: second way that is for people who hear this and
Speaker 5: think that sounds amazing and I have so many coats,
Speaker 5: and I bet my friends and neighbors or colleagues or
Speaker 5: people let my church have a bunch of coats too.
Speaker 5: Is we have thousands of volunteers across the country who
Speaker 5: organize coat drives for us. And those can be again
Speaker 5: like with your student school, with your neighborhood, at your
Speaker 5: place of business, and you can go on to our
Speaker 5: website and there's a button that says organize a coat drive,
Speaker 5: and you sign up and we just provide you all
Speaker 5: the resources you need, even press releases so that you
Speaker 5: can let your local community know social media posts, even
Speaker 5: your own website so that you can promote it and
Speaker 5: share that website through email. So we provide all these
Speaker 5: resources for free just to try to get people involved
Speaker 5: in giving back in their local community and to make
Speaker 5: sure that we keep people warm, but before the temperatures drop.
Speaker 2: That sounds great. So the easiest thing just one warm
Speaker 2: Coode dot org and use your address or your town
Speaker 2: or use zip code. It will direct you to places
Speaker 2: locations where you can drop off. And if you really
Speaker 2: want to get involved, you can. You can jump jump
Speaker 2: into the deep end of the pool and organize a
Speaker 2: drive yourself and look it just it just makes so
Speaker 2: much sense. Thanks so much for joining us. Thank How
Speaker 2: long have you been doing this, Beth, You've been doing
Speaker 2: this a while.
Speaker 5: I've been doing this seven years, and I really love it.
Speaker 5: I love seeing how how happy the people are who
Speaker 5: receive the codes, but I also love seeing how excited
Speaker 5: the people are who help donate the and just feeling
Speaker 5: of making a very tangible impact.
Speaker 2: Well, it's great all fifty states. We're much more than
Speaker 2: a Boston radio station. We're heard throughout most of the
Speaker 2: eastern half of the US and once the sun goes down,
Speaker 2: and so we have a lot of listeners in different states.
Speaker 2: You have three eight and three coke drives in communities
Speaker 2: across all fifty states. So as you can see, folks,
Speaker 2: you're talking about probably anywhere on an average sixty seventy
Speaker 2: eighty coat drives, no matter what state you'll live in.
Speaker 2: Obviously more yeah, you know, I few were maybe in
Speaker 2: Rhode Island, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: And you know what's surprising is we actually have coat
Speaker 5: dards even in Florida for rain gear and things like that,
Speaker 5: so absolute any in the country.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's probably a few umbrellas that get contributed
Speaker 2: as well down there. Beth, thank you very much for
Speaker 2: your time tonight. Great organization, simple, straight to the point
Speaker 2: everybody can understand it. Thanks so much for joining yes tonight,
Speaker 2: Thanks for what you do.
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: You're welcome. Got a couple of books that we're going
Speaker 2: to introduce you to. The next one is about living
Speaker 2: a connected life with yourself and with others. We'll talk
Speaker 2: with a PhD named Seth cop called Copuld. He's written
Speaker 2: a book, and then later on we're going to talk
Speaker 2: about please unsubscribe. Thanks, how to take back our time,
Speaker 2: attention and purpose and a world designed to bury us
Speaker 2: in BS. We will explain it all coming up on
Speaker 2: the other side of the news right here on night Side.
Speaker 2: It is a Thursday night, going to be a nice
Speaker 2: day tomorrow, little rain on Saturday, and we're going to
Speaker 2: have a very nice day on Sunday. We'll be right back.
Speaker 5: It's Nightside's news Radio.
Speaker 2: With us is Seth Copald. He's a PhD AS certified
Speaker 2: Internal Family System practitioner and author. He has a new
Speaker 2: book called Self Led Living a Connected Life with yourself
Speaker 2: and with Others. Seth, I'd love to know what this
Speaker 2: one's all about, because I think I know, but I don't.
Speaker 2: Dare say, go right ahead and tell us. Congratulations on
Speaker 2: the book and tell us tell us what the theory,
Speaker 2: what the premise of the book is.
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you so much for having me. First of all, welcome.
Speaker 6: So yeah, So this book is based on internal family systems,
Speaker 6: which believes we all have various parts of us that
Speaker 6: have different perspectives and take us over. We have protection
Speaker 6: like defensiveness, anxiety, worry. We also have other parts in
Speaker 6: us that hold, you know, beliefs, about ourselves that are
Speaker 6: kind of locked away, that hold beliefs like I'm not
Speaker 6: good enough or too much or too little. And we
Speaker 6: also we believe we have like a centered core self
Speaker 6: which is not something that could be damaged. And the
Speaker 6: way the model works is the self I work with
Speaker 6: people to help their's so be with all of these parts,
Speaker 6: kind of like the which Richard Swartz, who founded the model,
Speaker 6: came up with the idea of a orchestra in the self.
Speaker 6: It's like the conductor where we work with each musician
Speaker 6: or each part within us to kind of play in harmony.
Speaker 6: So if you worry a lot, or you're anxious, you're
Speaker 6: not talking.
Speaker 2: You're not talking about you know, if the physical, you're
Speaker 2: not talking about your shoulder and your knee and your ankle.
Speaker 2: Everybody understands that either in order to run, you have
Speaker 2: to you know, push off, and you know that you
Speaker 2: have to your your joints have to work together. You
Speaker 2: can't you can't get too far exercising or whatever if
Speaker 2: you're not willing to work. But you're talking about internal
Speaker 2: items in internal aspects, right.
Speaker 6: I would think of it like various personalities within you.
Speaker 6: And you know, some people are concerned what used to
Speaker 6: be called multiple personalities or just so disorder. It's not
Speaker 6: that that's a that's a very extreme version, but we
Speaker 6: find that it's natural for people to have many perspectives, like,
Speaker 6: you know, I want to have dessert when you if
Speaker 6: I say, hey, do you want to have dessert? How
Speaker 6: many different voices do you have in your head? When
Speaker 6: says I have one?
Speaker 2: It says, it says, it says absolutely yes, what time
Speaker 2: and where?
Speaker 6: Right? Well, a lot of people then would have a
Speaker 6: follow up part that I do. I'm gonna feel bad, right,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna then you eat the cake, and then you
Speaker 6: have a part that bashes you.
Speaker 2: You know. Sometimes I don't have those parts. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I understand the point you're making, But thank god I
Speaker 2: don't have those parts. Yeah, that's a guilt thing. Okay,
Speaker 2: I mean that's a guilt. I loved eating that that
Speaker 2: dunk and don't but I really probably shouldn't. Sometimes that happens,
Speaker 2: you know, but most for me, most for me, it doesn't.
Speaker 2: What about the what about the different emotions? Okay? Are
Speaker 2: you talking about emotions? For example, you get angry you're
Speaker 2: driving your car and then someone cuts you off and
Speaker 2: you have a surge of anger, and then your more
Speaker 2: rational self says, you know, what are you doing this for?
Speaker 2: I mean, you're gonna, you know, follow the guy and
Speaker 2: cut him off. I mean, is that kind of what
Speaker 2: you're talking about? The little voices in your head that
Speaker 2: you know exactly? You know, when when I was in
Speaker 2: Catholic school, this little boy, we were told that we
Speaker 2: had a guardian angel. There was a good angel and
Speaker 2: a bad angel on your shoulders, and one angel was whispered,
Speaker 2: go ahead, eat that jelly, don't it no problem, and
Speaker 2: the bad angel was in all if you do that?
Speaker 2: Is it kind of similar to or is I assume
Speaker 2: it's a little more sophisticated than.
Speaker 6: That, But it's basically that like we have oftentimes, we
Speaker 6: have protect our parts that protect us right, and when
Speaker 6: somebody cuts us off, you might have an initial feeling
Speaker 6: like this person has no respect for me, or this
Speaker 6: person has no or created fear in my system. But
Speaker 6: then another part comes in that doesn't want us to
Speaker 6: feel those feelings, and it comes in with rage or
Speaker 6: comes in with anger, and you could, like you said,
Speaker 6: you can even watch yourself being angry, thinking, man, I
Speaker 6: can't believe I'm actually saying this, I make the joke sometimes,
Speaker 6: like I have a part that say don't say it,
Speaker 6: don't say it, and blam, I say it and I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2: Why did I say it?
Speaker 6: You know, and we can't take those those messages back.
Speaker 6: But the thing is is that, But there's.
Speaker 2: Also and again I'm you know, everybody knows the whole
Speaker 2: thing of of a fight or flight. You know, you're
Speaker 2: walking down the street and you see someone who is
Speaker 2: acting a little strange, okay, and most of us are empathetic,
Speaker 2: but if the person is really acting out. I'm talking
Speaker 2: about that person who's screaming and yelling and howling at
Speaker 2: the moon. We probably most of us, even if we're nice,
Speaker 2: are not life going and say hey, Parl, what's going on?
Speaker 2: How's your day going? I mean, you know, that's just
Speaker 2: a sense of self preservation. I guess. Is that also
Speaker 2: part of what you're talking about?
Speaker 6: Well, you know, when if we reacted firmly set boundaries,
Speaker 6: was very clear, collected and cool headed, you might say
Speaker 6: ourself also has courage confidence like that could be a
Speaker 6: natural state. But if you just went off the wall
Speaker 6: and hurt the person, or if you like, you know,
Speaker 6: like cowered in the corner that you might say, those
Speaker 6: are parts of you like younger parts might cower. So
Speaker 6: there is You're right, there is a natural reaction that's
Speaker 6: in our brain that would cause a fight or flight.
Speaker 6: But oftentimes there's various parts of us that get involved
Speaker 6: in how we end up responding. And basically my book
Speaker 6: is about, like you notice, we often could be hurtful
Speaker 6: to our partners. So my book talks about how do
Speaker 6: you do this at work, at home with your kids,
Speaker 6: you know, in spirituality even like who's praying right and
Speaker 6: who's begging for something inside of you? But the idea
Speaker 6: is if we could be with these parts and listen
Speaker 6: to them, the more centered we are, we tend to
Speaker 6: have better relationships because we don't say things and hurt
Speaker 6: people and are not We're not as selfish, we're not
Speaker 6: as controlling, we're not as like overly helping.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think at different times during the day, people
Speaker 2: react to different things differently, And I suspect if people
Speaker 2: were honest with themselves, uh, and they looked in the
Speaker 2: mirror that say, well, I was nice at this point
Speaker 2: during the day, but I was not nice at this
Speaker 2: point during the day. I know my own idiosyncrasies that
Speaker 2: I sometimes get frustrated when I see people who just
Speaker 2: are what I call oblivious and I'm just not even
Speaker 2: aware of the world around them, and they could care
Speaker 2: less and uh, and they're impacting other people's day. You know,
Speaker 2: you're you're in a in aupermarket and you're going trying
Speaker 2: to get you know, you know, through the It's not
Speaker 2: like the highlight of your day. So you've got to
Speaker 2: go down this aisle, this aisle, pick up this, pick
Speaker 2: up that. And there's someone who has the aisle blocked
Speaker 2: because instead of having their carriage out of the way,
Speaker 2: it's sort of like in an angle, so no one
Speaker 2: can go either way. And they're standing there looking at
Speaker 2: key and p's and trying to figure out which one
Speaker 2: they want to buy, and you know, you want to scream,
Speaker 2: you know, but you can't do that. And so my
Speaker 2: solution to that is when I walk by that person
Speaker 2: in a very soft voice, I simply get it out
Speaker 2: of my system and I use one of my favorite words, oblivious,
Speaker 2: and I say it so that they don't hear it,
Speaker 2: but it I know it penetrates their mind, you know,
Speaker 2: and that calms me down. Now I don't know if
Speaker 2: that's a good thing to do or a bad thing
Speaker 2: to do. But you're the psychiatrist, I'm not go ahead,
Speaker 2: Well I'm.
Speaker 6: Not a psychiatrist. But if you were one of my
Speaker 6: clients and we were like coaching you with this model,
Speaker 6: I don't do it. Yes, like I got interested with therapist.
Speaker 2: But.
Speaker 6: Get to know I can help you. Get to know
Speaker 6: this part of you who says that, and it will
Speaker 6: probably say something like basically it's like almost like a
Speaker 6: meditative thing where I have you okay, the part of
Speaker 6: you that says oblivious, Can we talk to it? Let
Speaker 6: it tell you how is it trying to help you?
Speaker 6: And he might say I'm trying to get a message
Speaker 6: across without comsanes scene. Yes, you know, like I'm helping you,
Speaker 6: where other people they they kind of say something that
Speaker 6: does create a scene, right Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, No, I never do that because normal normally I
Speaker 2: feel sorry for the person. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: it's like you've cost me thirty seconds here, I haven't
Speaker 2: so did you interrupted? You You finally recognized that something
Speaker 2: that you're tying someone else up, and you pulled your
Speaker 2: wagon out of the way, and I'm gonna go by
Speaker 2: and I'll say thank you, and then I'll just mutter
Speaker 2: under my breath, but I want them to come out subconsciously.
Speaker 2: You're oblivious, right, but I guess then I walk away.
Speaker 2: It's not like I said anything that was nasty, like
Speaker 2: you know, you're an idiot, all.
Speaker 6: Right, right? Right? No, The's a lot of people do, right,
Speaker 6: And oftentimes if somebody did come to me and say,
Speaker 6: I don't know why, but I'll yell at somebody in
Speaker 6: the grocery store, we'll get to know this part and
Speaker 6: oftentimes those protectors will say who are you protecting? And
Speaker 6: oftentimes it'll be a much younger part inside that feels
Speaker 6: like I'm not good enough or nobody cares about me,
Speaker 6: for instance. Right, So if somebody leaves the card in
Speaker 6: front of you and it triggers just no one cares
Speaker 6: about me, so the angry part has to come in
Speaker 6: and take over, and before you say anything. What's really
Speaker 6: important is to know is these parts are kind of
Speaker 6: like stuck in time, so that when we react, it's
Speaker 6: almost like we're reacting to something else in the past.
Speaker 6: That's why you most see people over reacting like this
Speaker 6: doesn't make sense that you would act this way in
Speaker 6: this situation.
Speaker 2: So so let's let's mention the book. Is the book just
Speaker 2: out or is it a been out for a while.
Speaker 6: It's been out about a year and a half.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's good. Well, we're going to try to get
Speaker 2: sell you some more books. It's called self led Living
Speaker 2: a Connected Life within yourself and with others. I assume
Speaker 2: available on Amazon and bookstores. Uh, and.
Speaker 6: Go ahead, Yeah, easy read. People say it's actually probably
Speaker 6: one of the easiest reads for an IFS book, and
Speaker 6: it's a really good introduction. And if people want to
Speaker 6: sign copy, they could just go to my website Sethcopall
Speaker 6: dot com. And I always write a little note and
Speaker 6: sign it before I mail.
Speaker 2: That Seth Coppold. So it's s E T H K
Speaker 2: O p A l D k O p A l D.
Speaker 2: All right, Seth, thank you very much. Interesting conversation. I
Speaker 2: could talk with you for hours, and I've probably been
Speaker 2: a person as a consequence. So I'm going to try
Speaker 2: to get the book and give it a read. Thank
Speaker 2: you so much.
Speaker 6: Thank you for having me appreciate you.
Speaker 2: You're very welcome. We get back. We're going to talk
Speaker 2: about another author. Please unsubscribe. This might be something that
Speaker 2: all of us will be able to relate to Back
Speaker 2: on Nightside with Julio Vincent Gimbuto. Back after this, It's
Speaker 2: Night Side with Boston's News Radio. Very good boy. All right,
Speaker 2: we are delighted to be joined by Julio Vincent Gambudo. Julio,
Speaker 2: welcome to Nightside. How are you?
Speaker 4: Thanks Dan, hello of Boston.
Speaker 3: Great to be with you.
Speaker 2: And I just want to make sure it can be Julio.
Speaker 2: Is that the correct pronunciation?
Speaker 4: Oh, Julio, it's Julio. Actually, yeah, it's Italian.
Speaker 2: Oh Julio. Okay, we got the Italian acts. Julio, Julio,
Speaker 2: Vincent Gambuto. Absolutely all right. So your book is please unsubscribe. Thanks,
Speaker 2: How to take back our time, attention, and purpose in
Speaker 2: a world designed to bury us in And I can't
Speaker 2: say the word, and I hope you won't say the
Speaker 2: word on the radio. But I think everybody knows what
Speaker 2: we're talking about. Uh, what are we talking about in
Speaker 2: the book, Julio, We're.
Speaker 4: You know, we're talking about sort of getting really aware
Speaker 4: of how these tech systems operate and kind of how
Speaker 4: the way of the world is now and you know,
Speaker 4: actively stay from it when you need to for as
Speaker 4: long as you need to do to kind of get
Speaker 4: your mind in order, because this is kind of a
Speaker 4: really different ballgame than we used to play.
Speaker 2: So what are we talking about? The unsolicited phone calls
Speaker 2: you get at dinner time, in which you know people
Speaker 2: want to sell you stuff.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean sort of.
Speaker 4: I think phone calls like that are certainly a part
Speaker 4: of this.
Speaker 2: Really.
Speaker 4: You know, my work zeros in on subscriptions as a
Speaker 4: as kind of a model for our new economy and
Speaker 4: digital capitalism and how that's different than the capitalism that
Speaker 4: you and I grew up with. And uh and and
Speaker 4: and understanding what it means to really subscribe and be.
Speaker 2: Right, we're losing you here, Julia, we're losing you here.
Speaker 2: For a second. Are you Are you in a car?
Speaker 2: Are you moving around? Yeah? Pick rob, Rob will pick up,
Speaker 2: pick them up, and we'll get this cleaned up. Uh.
Speaker 2: My guest is Julio Vincent Gambudo, an author and a
Speaker 2: movie maker. Uh. And he has a new book called
Speaker 2: Please Unsubscribe. Thanks. It then has a longer subtitle, which
Speaker 2: of course we can get to. And I want to
Speaker 2: make sure that we under did we lose them there?
Speaker 2: We lost them totally. Oh okay, great, Okay, it's The
Speaker 2: Wonders of Electronics here on radio. Sorry, so let me
Speaker 2: just uh, he's this This book apparently has been well received,
Speaker 2: named the Nonfiction Pick of the Month by Barnes and
Speaker 2: Noble and last summer. Okay, Julia, you're back. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Did you go through a tunnel or something.
Speaker 4: I think maybe my phone knows what I'm talking about
Speaker 4: and it just just decided to draw.
Speaker 2: Okay, as long as you if you're in a hopefully
Speaker 2: a location where you're near a window, that's the best thing.
Speaker 2: If you're on a cell phone. Okay. So what I'm
Speaker 2: trying to say is what are we talking about. I've
Speaker 2: been with you two minutes here. I want to see
Speaker 2: what we're talking about. How to take back our time, attention,
Speaker 2: and purpose in the world designed to bury us in,
Speaker 2: you know, bad stuff. I thought when I read the
Speaker 2: title that we were talking about the junk mail you
Speaker 2: get every day that you have to throw away, the
Speaker 2: telephone calls. I get someone calling me last night. They
Speaker 2: want to I don't know, they want to sell me
Speaker 2: something about a car. I just no matter what it is,
Speaker 2: the car. I've never owned a car on my life.
Speaker 2: Please take me off your list. Someone will call up
Speaker 2: and tell you that life insurance. Oh I kind of
Speaker 2: get life insurance. Why is that because I'm suicidal? Hang up?
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, just be crazy with them. And
Speaker 2: that's because other than that they keep calling back. They do.
Speaker 4: And you know, we live in an economy now where
Speaker 4: your name and your phone number and your email address
Speaker 4: are everywhere, even when you think they're not, they are.
Speaker 4: And you know, kind of government efforts to curb that
Speaker 4: have really, really really not worked. And so you know,
Speaker 4: the book is really about kind of taking back our
Speaker 4: power against large, large corporations and really really big marketers
Speaker 4: and kind of carving a space out for ourselves again.
Speaker 2: Okay, so give me a couple of concrete recommendations, A
Speaker 2: couple of concrete what I do sometimes, and you know
Speaker 2: I have a lot of I could I could write
Speaker 2: a book like this. I think what I will do.
Speaker 2: Someone will call me up and they'll say whatever they're
Speaker 2: trying to sell me, and say, oh, thank you for calling.
Speaker 2: I have to go get a pen and paper. I
Speaker 2: need to get all the information and I'll give you
Speaker 2: and I want to get my credit card. Can you
Speaker 2: hold on for a minute, and of course I excite
Speaker 2: them and they say absolutely, And you know what I do.
Speaker 2: I put the phone down and I walk away, and
Speaker 2: about thirty minutes later, thirty minutes later at least, I
Speaker 2: call it. I pick it back up, and I'll say
Speaker 2: are you still there? And they're never there?
Speaker 4: No, no, they yeah, they don't like.
Speaker 2: Give me, give me a couple of a couple of things. Now,
Speaker 2: give me a couple of things that that we can do,
Speaker 2: that we can do together. Would they they call you
Speaker 2: up and they'll say you've won a prize or they no, no,
Speaker 2: I know they want to ask your questions a poll,
Speaker 2: and I say, I'm delighted. I'm a professional poster. Where
Speaker 2: do I send my bill for my services? And they
Speaker 2: had no idea what I'm talking about. And my wife
Speaker 2: is looking at me like I'm crazy. And they'll say, well, no,
Speaker 2: we don't pay people. I said, you don't pay people.
Speaker 2: I'm a poster. You've called me. I'm ready to give
Speaker 2: you my answers and they hang up on me.
Speaker 4: Well, you know that's a that's a perfect way to
Speaker 4: sort of fight back in the phone call, right, Yeah, I.
Speaker 6: Think you know.
Speaker 4: Concrete wise, it's important. Look, I do things like I
Speaker 4: go out to lunch without my phone. I will go
Speaker 4: to a meeting and make sure that you know, I
Speaker 4: actually know where I'm going, and I don't use GPS.
Speaker 4: I don't do this every day. I don't do it
Speaker 4: all the time, but I do think it's important to
Speaker 4: kind of challenge yourself in these small ways to stop
Speaker 4: relying on it all so much. It's there to help us,
Speaker 4: It's been sold to help us, but what it winds
Speaker 4: up doing is sort of putting our day to day
Speaker 4: behavior on autopilot. And you know, a society that is
Speaker 4: on an autopilot can sort of, you know, go to
Speaker 4: very bad places. So I think it's important to, even
Speaker 4: just as an individual, challenge yourself to do little things
Speaker 4: like that. Yeah, you know, I write a lot about
Speaker 4: email subscriptions and the subscriptions you know that are buried
Speaker 4: within your checking account. You know, it's like eighty percent
Speaker 4: of Americans can overestimate how much they spend on subscriptions,
Speaker 4: and sometimes by about two hundred or three hundred dollars
Speaker 4: a month.
Speaker 2: So we're not here, Julie. When you say subscriptions, I
Speaker 2: think magazine subscriptions. What are you talking about.
Speaker 4: I'm talking about everything from your Netflix subscription to those
Speaker 4: magazine subscriptions, to anything where you've you've clicked online and
Speaker 4: you've agreed to pay monthly. Horrible, horrible, right, So most
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 1: That your book got some great reviews, and I really
Speaker 1: hope people will get a copy of it and read it,
Speaker 1: because we're all being sucked into this vortex.
Speaker 2: You're trying to keep us out of the vortex, man,
Speaker 2: and I appreciate that your book has received great reviews.
Speaker 2: It is please unsubscribe. Thanks. How to take back our time, attention,
Speaker 2: and purpose in a world designed to bury us? And
Speaker 2: the other thing, too, is if you get any emails
Speaker 2: and you don't recognize the person, never ever ever click
Speaker 2: on him. Delete, delete, delete, and if possible, block the number.
Speaker 2: Simple as that. Julio, thank you so much. I wish
Speaker 2: I had more time, and maybe we'll have you back
Speaker 2: in the next few weeks and we'll focus a little bit.
Speaker 2: I'll focus the interview better. I wasn't quite sure where
Speaker 2: you wanted to take us. We can do this again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sounds good. It was a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 4: Thanks so much.
Speaker 2: Right back at you, Julio. Vincent Cambudo. Please unsubscribe. Thanks available.
Speaker 2: When we come back, we're going to talk about up
Speaker 2: in New Hampshire. New Hampshire, like Massachusetts, does mandate motor
Speaker 2: vehicle inspections. Up in New Hampshire, there's a move to
Speaker 2: get rid of the motor vehicle inspections and I think
Speaker 2: it presents of very interesting argument. Back on Nightside with
Speaker 2: the Deputy Speaker of the House of the New Hampshire
Speaker 2: State House of Representatives, Representative Stephen Smith, right after the
Speaker 2: break here on Nightside, the news break