WEBVTT 1 00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:16.399 Hey, everybody, welcome to Pink Shade. It's Thursday, and that 2 00:00:16.440 --> 00:00:19.079 means we're going to talk about pop and Bravo. That's 3 00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:22.399 pop culture and Bravo. And I have Melissa here, you're 4 00:00:22.679 --> 00:00:24.000 bish therapist. 5 00:00:24.640 --> 00:00:25.199 She's here. 6 00:00:25.480 --> 00:00:28.600 How you doing, Hi, Mary Payne, I'm great, How are you? 7 00:00:28.640 --> 00:00:30.120 Thanks so much for having me back. 8 00:00:30.399 --> 00:00:32.960 It's back by popular demand. Everybody loved when you were 9 00:00:32.960 --> 00:00:33.679 on last time. 10 00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:36.679 Oh they did. Yeah, that makes my heart so happy. 11 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:39.320 Everybody loved it so much. I was like, all right, 12 00:00:39.960 --> 00:00:43.359 come on back. We had already played it anyway, I. 13 00:00:43.320 --> 00:00:46.240 Know, and I love you. I love the pod, you know. 14 00:00:46.280 --> 00:00:48.280 And we also have talked about I love you know 15 00:00:48.320 --> 00:00:50.920 some of the ninety Day stuff. So our world's really 16 00:00:50.960 --> 00:00:52.600 just collide in many ways. 17 00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:56.039 Yeah, now tell me ninety Day? What are you watching there? 18 00:00:56.280 --> 00:00:57.359 What's going on with you there? 19 00:00:58.520 --> 00:00:58.600 So? 20 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:03.280 I watched The Last Resort one. There's too many names. 21 00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:04.359 I can't keep them all. 22 00:01:04.200 --> 00:01:05.719 Straight, right, right, right, right? 23 00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:08.640 So I watched the Last Resort I watch like the 24 00:01:08.680 --> 00:01:12.079 ones with like I like Libyan, Andre of course, Angela 25 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:15.120 and Michael, because I mean, that's just one of the 26 00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:18.400 most catoch relationships in the history of television that I can. 27 00:01:19.159 --> 00:01:22.239 They're back and forth in court currently. Yeah, oh they are. 28 00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:22.840 I see. 29 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:26.079 I can't even keep up because it's new every day. 30 00:01:26.359 --> 00:01:29.920 Yeah and yeah, so I'm I'm a huge fan of 31 00:01:29.959 --> 00:01:31.280 all that universe. 32 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:37.680 Well, the new ninety Day Happily ever After is starting 33 00:01:37.719 --> 00:01:42.319 this Sunday, and because we just ended ninety day OG, 34 00:01:42.760 --> 00:01:46.079 we just ended that, So ninety Day hg A is 35 00:01:46.120 --> 00:01:50.599 starting on Sunday and I have already seen the screener 36 00:01:50.680 --> 00:01:54.560 for it. And if you like Libyan Andre, it's gonna 37 00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:56.280 be for you, It's gonna be for you. 38 00:01:56.920 --> 00:01:59.359 I heard. Well, I thought I saw on a preview 39 00:01:59.400 --> 00:02:04.319 that they're moving to Maldova, which is it's wild. It 40 00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:07.439 is wild, but honestly, I feel like I've always saw 41 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:10.240 that coming her family. They were like, don't move, don't move, 42 00:02:10.280 --> 00:02:13.080 don't move, don't move, And then I'm like, I don't know, 43 00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:18.039 I just you know, Libya is so into his Moldovian culture, 44 00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:20.840 which I think is really great, but I just, yeah, 45 00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:26.120 imagine with little kids. You know, it's a complete cultural 46 00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:29.719 difference and all of that. But listen, if they're happy, 47 00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:30.719 then kudos. 48 00:02:31.400 --> 00:02:33.840 It seems to be that they're going to do it 49 00:02:33.879 --> 00:02:36.879 for a while and you know. Her whole point is like, 50 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:39.960 my kids don't even know their other grandparents at all, 51 00:02:40.360 --> 00:02:43.120 you know, and that's really not fair. And he's like, 52 00:02:43.159 --> 00:02:45.000 and we don't get along with her family at all 53 00:02:45.080 --> 00:02:48.120 except for the dad really and one sister. So was 54 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:49.919 the way they could have a better cost of living 55 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:50.960 blah blah blah. 56 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:53.879 So the HGA is it's gonna be good. 57 00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:58.039 It's interesting the way they're doing it because and jury's 58 00:02:58.039 --> 00:03:00.879 out if I like it or not. It's they have 59 00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:02.479 all these couples, so like a lot of them are 60 00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:05.439 in Florida, so they're all together at a dinner party 61 00:03:05.719 --> 00:03:07.159 instead of having separate. 62 00:03:06.840 --> 00:03:10.719 Stories, you know, and just really for interesting for me 63 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:11.479 for note. 64 00:03:11.240 --> 00:03:13.120 Taking, I like to have the couple separate because I 65 00:03:13.120 --> 00:03:14.919 could be like, here are the notes for this couple. 66 00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:17.479 But when they're all together in a room, it makes 67 00:03:17.479 --> 00:03:19.479 it way harder. It's like going to be like a 68 00:03:19.639 --> 00:03:20.759 taken reunion notes. 69 00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:21.240 It's hard. 70 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:24.520 No, literally, that's like what we do for housewives. And 71 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:28.159 it really does make it so much harder when you're 72 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:31.439 because you're trying to like take notes and contextualize a 73 00:03:31.560 --> 00:03:34.719 complete it's like each individual couple, but in the complete 74 00:03:34.759 --> 00:03:37.560 setting and then that changes dynamics. I know, it's like 75 00:03:37.960 --> 00:03:39.840 the other week for the Valley. I swear I think 76 00:03:39.879 --> 00:03:42.080 I had forty slides and I was like, this is 77 00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:45.120 too many, this is too much. So I could understand. 78 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:47.759 I am a little hesitant about that. What does HHA 79 00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:48.520 stand for? 80 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:50.439 What does that ever? 81 00:03:50.599 --> 00:03:54.599 After a question mark? Oh and there's a question mark? 82 00:03:55.599 --> 00:04:00.639 H ea, question mark. So we have Libyan on, we 83 00:04:00.759 --> 00:04:05.960 have Lauren and Alexi, and we have Yara and Job 84 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:10.360 and they're they're those three couples all get together for 85 00:04:10.400 --> 00:04:14.599 dinner interest because they all live in that area. And 86 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:18.240 then we have Darcy and Georgie who are in. 87 00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:23.680 By the way, I cannot believe. Yeah, Darcy and Georgie 88 00:04:23.800 --> 00:04:29.079 are back together. I'm married, not well, I'm married. Yeah, 89 00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:33.319 it just like it blows my mind. And I'm fascinated 90 00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:37.319 by Darcy and Stacy. Like those two. I will watch 91 00:04:37.399 --> 00:04:40.240 anything that they are in. They are fascinating characters. 92 00:04:40.519 --> 00:04:41.879 We do need another spin off. 93 00:04:41.920 --> 00:04:43.680 It was great to see It was great to see 94 00:04:43.720 --> 00:04:48.439 Stacy alone on the last resort we are in Florian 95 00:04:48.519 --> 00:04:50.439 to not have I mean, Darcy did come to visit, 96 00:04:50.519 --> 00:04:53.600 but it was great to see her by herself because 97 00:04:53.600 --> 00:04:55.279 we've never seen her by herself. 98 00:04:55.720 --> 00:04:57.439 And I think that's a big part of the problem, 99 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:00.120 the two of them. They have two Yeah, there's too 100 00:05:00.199 --> 00:05:02.959 much enmeshment, codependency totally. 101 00:05:02.600 --> 00:05:04.120 Yeah. Yeah. 102 00:05:04.360 --> 00:05:06.519 Well, since we're on the subject of Darcy and Daisy, 103 00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:11.160 what is your thought on the what is that called 104 00:05:11.240 --> 00:05:15.120 in your therapist opinion, when somebody changes themselves so much 105 00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:17.839 that they are unrecognizable. 106 00:05:18.319 --> 00:05:26.000 Oh like physically, yes, physically, Okay, So Darcy and Stacy, 107 00:05:26.360 --> 00:05:29.600 I believe there's this, and I have to be very 108 00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:31.639 mindful of how I talk about this. When I was 109 00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:35.199 in grad school, I took a course where we learned 110 00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:38.480 about some you know, psychological concepts and phenomenon and there's 111 00:05:38.519 --> 00:05:42.399 this one. It's called fully atsu, which is French for 112 00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:46.839 shared madness, and it is a concept that I was 113 00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:51.199 always fascinated by because it's so hard to have issues, 114 00:05:51.240 --> 00:05:54.480 Like having issues with yourself is one thing, but then 115 00:05:54.519 --> 00:05:57.759 when you have this shared sort of delusional piece with 116 00:05:57.839 --> 00:06:02.240 another person, it's really really fascinating. And so for me, 117 00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:05.560 I think Darcy and Stacy have some of the shared 118 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:07.639 well not going to call it madness, that's you know, 119 00:06:07.720 --> 00:06:11.079 that's kind of a pejorative term. But they both seem 120 00:06:11.279 --> 00:06:15.199 to be so afraid to be individuals, like they're glued 121 00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:18.000 and connected to the fact that they have to do 122 00:06:18.079 --> 00:06:19.879 everything the same. They have to look the same, they 123 00:06:19.879 --> 00:06:21.639 have to wear the same jewelry, they have to have 124 00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:24.360 the same boobs and hair and all this stuff. And 125 00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:26.879 I think it comes from a place of lack of 126 00:06:26.920 --> 00:06:29.800 self esteem because when they were growing up, from everything 127 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:33.439 I've watched, they felt they were picked on, they were bullied, 128 00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:39.800 they felt very unattractive. And you know, I think too, 129 00:06:39.839 --> 00:06:43.519 because they are biracial, I think that they were, you know, 130 00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:47.720 had some issues being teased for that. And so it's 131 00:06:47.759 --> 00:06:50.079 to me very complex because I think while part of 132 00:06:50.120 --> 00:06:54.399 it is them trying to distance themselves from being biracial, 133 00:06:54.439 --> 00:06:56.759 almost and I don't know that they do for purpose, 134 00:06:57.399 --> 00:07:00.199 because they try so hard to look just like a 135 00:07:00.199 --> 00:07:03.759 a Barbie doll. Yes, but I do think it also 136 00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:09.199 people have these issues where they there's a gap between 137 00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:12.720 what they really look like and what they see. So 138 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:15.720 I believe that they both kind of have distorted perceptions 139 00:07:15.879 --> 00:07:19.279 of self and others. And when you have a distorted 140 00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:22.800 perception of yourself and then you're getting plastic surgery, what 141 00:07:22.920 --> 00:07:25.680 happens is you end up looking like a doll because 142 00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:30.720 you have such an unhealthy view of yourself and self esteem. 143 00:07:30.759 --> 00:07:32.839 So that's a very long way to answer that question. 144 00:07:33.199 --> 00:07:36.079 No kind of what I see for both of them. 145 00:07:36.439 --> 00:07:39.399 All right, y'all, it's summer, and in the summer all 146 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:41.600 I do is were linen, and I have gone to 147 00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:44.600 Quins to get my linen for the last two years, 148 00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:45.279 and oh my. 149 00:07:45.279 --> 00:07:47.800 Gosh, you guys, they have the cutest stuff. 150 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:51.000 I just bought their one hundred percent European linen wide 151 00:07:51.079 --> 00:07:54.120 leag pant and then I also bought this maxi dress 152 00:07:54.160 --> 00:07:56.000 and it's called like a popover dress. 153 00:07:56.240 --> 00:07:58.000 Oh. I've gotten so many compliments. 154 00:07:58.160 --> 00:08:00.279 It's my new travel dress because it comes down to 155 00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:02.240 the ankle, so it's like good on the airplane, but 156 00:08:02.279 --> 00:08:04.480 then when you get off the airplane, you're not sweating 157 00:08:04.519 --> 00:08:08.120 because it's linen. Oh, I love it so much. And 158 00:08:08.319 --> 00:08:11.079 their dresses start at thirty dollars. They also have some 159 00:08:11.240 --> 00:08:16.279 new amazing swimwear, these adorable Italian leather platform sales just 160 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:18.480 so much more. And as you guys know, everything with 161 00:08:18.600 --> 00:08:20.720 Quints is half the cost of similar brands. 162 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:21.399 I've told you. 163 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:23.800 About the little chart you look at at the bottom 164 00:08:23.839 --> 00:08:27.199 of every single item, and it will compare this item 165 00:08:27.240 --> 00:08:29.279 that you're looking at with other brands and what it 166 00:08:29.319 --> 00:08:32.440 would cost, and it's the same thing. They work directly 167 00:08:32.519 --> 00:08:35.200 with top artisans and they cut out the middleman, and 168 00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:39.039 that is how Quints gives you luxury without the markup. 169 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:40.159 And they only work. 170 00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:41.759 With factories that use safe. 171 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:45.960 Ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. 172 00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:47.759 So I love Quints. 173 00:08:47.799 --> 00:08:50.799 You should to go put everything in your cart and 174 00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:53.919 get it because sometimes they sell out. Usually it comes back, 175 00:08:53.960 --> 00:08:55.919 but sometimes it sells out. You guys, you got to 176 00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:59.799 go get this linen, get those white wide linen pants. 177 00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:00.919 Oh they're so good. 178 00:09:01.279 --> 00:09:04.519 Give your summer closet an upgrade with Quint. 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Yeah, 228 00:11:21.799 --> 00:11:25.039 it's it's fascinating to me, and we saw it also. 229 00:11:25.320 --> 00:11:28.600 I don't know if you watched the tell alls of 230 00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:31.320 this last season of ninety do Og that finished last week. 231 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:34.039 We have a woman on there, a mini who. 232 00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:37.039 She came on the screen and people were like, who 233 00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:40.000 is that? And this is she's on the current season. 234 00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:42.799 She'd been on the current season and at the tell 235 00:11:42.840 --> 00:11:45.200 all she said it had been six weeks and she 236 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:48.600 had literally gotten a nose job, a temporal lift, a 237 00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:50.919 bbl a visit that she'd gotten all this stuff and 238 00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:53.799 her face and a like an eyelift. She looked so wild, 239 00:11:53.879 --> 00:11:56.320 and then she had tons of makeup on and couldn't 240 00:11:56.320 --> 00:11:59.200 because she was only six weeks post surgery. But she 241 00:11:59.279 --> 00:12:02.159 looks so different that it was like the first thing, 242 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:05.440 the first thing that was asked, like what's going on here? 243 00:12:05.639 --> 00:12:05.840 You know? 244 00:12:06.559 --> 00:12:08.639 You know, she said she got bullied by the internet 245 00:12:08.679 --> 00:12:13.120 to do it. I was like, you're so beautiful before, 246 00:12:13.159 --> 00:12:15.080 Like we couldn't even stop looking at her. She was 247 00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:17.159 so beautiful you know to us. 248 00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:20.639 Well, right, and I think like what you see and 249 00:12:20.679 --> 00:12:23.159 what she sees are two different things, number one. But 250 00:12:23.279 --> 00:12:27.360 number two, you know, I have a very little amount 251 00:12:27.480 --> 00:12:30.000 of what these people have, right, Like I'm not famous, 252 00:12:30.039 --> 00:12:33.360 but I get a lot of feedback. And people are mean, right, yeah, 253 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:36.279 people the Internet are mean. They're nasty, they're rude, Like 254 00:12:36.360 --> 00:12:39.440 the internet is going to Internet trolls are gonnatrol. But 255 00:12:39.559 --> 00:12:43.960 if you base your entire self worth on it, yeah, 256 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:46.320 you're gonna have real problems because it's like you're gonna 257 00:12:46.360 --> 00:12:48.320 go up and down like the stock market, you know, 258 00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:52.080 if we base our self perception based on other people 259 00:12:52.080 --> 00:12:55.360 and so that's called an external locus of control, which 260 00:12:55.399 --> 00:12:58.360 is when we look at like other people and other 261 00:12:58.480 --> 00:13:01.519 things as the reason for like why things happen to us, 262 00:13:01.759 --> 00:13:04.200 as opposed to an internal locus of control, which is 263 00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:07.279 like I control me, I'm in charge of me. Right, 264 00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:09.519 There's like different ways to look at that, And in 265 00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:11.559 my opinion, i'd love to know what you think about this, 266 00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:15.720 the ninety day universe and all the spin offs. There 267 00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:20.279 is just a lot of that insecurity because I think 268 00:13:20.320 --> 00:13:23.799 there are people who are essentially regular folks and get 269 00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:27.720 thrust into the light like almost like a housewife, but 270 00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:31.399 then they're not. So I think that psychologically, fame does 271 00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:34.120 a lot to people, and if you don't have a 272 00:13:34.159 --> 00:13:37.919 really strong root system of morals and values, you're going 273 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:39.960 to be floating with the wind. And I think that's 274 00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:42.039 what happens to a lot of these ninety day folks. 275 00:13:42.240 --> 00:13:44.799 They see themselves on TV and by the way, who 276 00:13:44.840 --> 00:13:48.120 looks good on TV, like untouched up. When I look 277 00:13:48.120 --> 00:13:50.320 at myself in a podcast, I'm like, oh dear god. 278 00:13:51.480 --> 00:13:53.559 Right, So imagine if you're on like TV and you 279 00:13:53.559 --> 00:13:56.120 can't even like control your own like filter or whatever. 280 00:13:56.279 --> 00:13:57.879 Yeah, exactly, I get it. 281 00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:00.840 It's tough for women, but I just some of these 282 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:05.639 women would feel more self confident and assured and not 283 00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:11.279 let the audience, you know, make them do things that 284 00:14:11.320 --> 00:14:12.320 maybe aren't good for them. 285 00:14:12.759 --> 00:14:13.240 Yeah. 286 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:15.759 Yeah, it's It's super interesting because we have Chicaa on 287 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:18.639 that show, and she's the same she's had she been. 288 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:21.240 She she's more like, you know. 289 00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:23.720 Proud of it, and she's an esthetician by trade, so 290 00:14:23.799 --> 00:14:26.000 she's more like, oh yeah, like I got my loves 291 00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:28.559 filled and people made fun of them, but I like it, 292 00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:30.639 you know. Or I wanted to look like this, so 293 00:14:30.679 --> 00:14:32.399 I did it, and I like it and I feel confident. 294 00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:35.279 So that's sort of the one thing where with like 295 00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:38.840 Darcy and Stacey, we love them so much as like 296 00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:41.519 fun characters like that, they'd be fun to go have 297 00:14:41.559 --> 00:14:44.320 a drink with, they'd be good girlfriends to have your back, 298 00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:47.720 you know, all of it. And then you see sort 299 00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:50.480 of this every time you see them they've done something 300 00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:52.320 else and they're putting it on their Instagram or whatever, 301 00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:54.039 and they're going back and forth to Turkey and getting 302 00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:56.840 like the fox Eye and the you know, and you're like, wow, 303 00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:59.320 you can't do anything else, Like there's there's no worse space, 304 00:14:59.399 --> 00:15:02.000 there's no more there's no procedure you haven't done, like, 305 00:15:02.600 --> 00:15:03.279 let it settle. 306 00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:04.559 See what happens, you know? 307 00:15:04.720 --> 00:15:07.679 Well, I think to me, Darcy and Stacy also, they're 308 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:12.519 just people who are cripplingly chronically looking for things to 309 00:15:12.559 --> 00:15:16.559 make them feel valuable, like Darcy and will wear a 310 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:20.320 stack of jewelry that costs more than my home. And 311 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:24.240 to me, when people are doing that paired with you know, 312 00:15:24.320 --> 00:15:29.639 plastic surgery, like extreme to the extreme, and you deal 313 00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:33.720 with these unethical practitioners who will do anything to anybody. Right, 314 00:15:33.840 --> 00:15:36.159 if there are some doctors that I'm sure they would 315 00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:38.679 go to that they'd be like, ethically, we cannot do this, 316 00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:42.919 you would help, right, But I just think that they 317 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:47.480 unfortunately are looking for things to fill that void, and 318 00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:50.159 nothing's going to fill it other than self love. Like 319 00:15:50.279 --> 00:15:53.039 Darcy especially is so guilty of being like you know what, 320 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:56.000 I am fabulous, And it's like but you don't believe that, 321 00:15:56.080 --> 00:15:58.759 because if you did believe it, right, there'd be less 322 00:15:58.759 --> 00:16:02.120 plastic surgery, there'd be less caring about looking snatched. Like 323 00:16:02.159 --> 00:16:04.559 I feel like they should make a darcy doll that 324 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:07.159 you pull the string and it says you. 325 00:16:07.080 --> 00:16:11.080 Look snatched, saying doing it big yeah. 326 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:14.399 Sat yes, yeah right. It's like. 327 00:16:15.960 --> 00:16:18.360 You can't even like talk about them without all of 328 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:22.879 their catch phrases. Right, it's power couple, you know, like 329 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:27.879 what powerful Okay? Uh? You know they talk they talk 330 00:16:27.960 --> 00:16:32.360 in platitudes, right, they talk in like home goods phrases. 331 00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:37.759 Yeah, and that's why they are getting better, because you 332 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:42.000 can't live in platitudes, right, you can't live I'm serious. 333 00:16:42.039 --> 00:16:44.360 So you know, they like they'll they'll do these turn 334 00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:46.039 of phrase and then it's like, but this is why 335 00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:49.120 you're unhappy, because you're just being facetious about things that 336 00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:52.440 really matter, and you know you're focusing on all the 337 00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:55.080 wrong things, the jewels and the clothes and the shoes 338 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:57.600 and the hair and all that. It's like nothing's going 339 00:16:57.679 --> 00:17:00.399 to fill that void, but you just loving yourself and 340 00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:03.320 that's the that's that's the only thing they're not trying 341 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:06.440 to do. They're trying to do everything else. You know, did. 342 00:17:06.279 --> 00:17:08.119 You did you see the episode? 343 00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:10.599 It was many seasons and I don't know if it 344 00:17:10.680 --> 00:17:13.160 was I think it was from the Darcy and Stacy show, 345 00:17:13.480 --> 00:17:15.119 not from them being on other shows. 346 00:17:15.160 --> 00:17:16.279 I think it was their own show. 347 00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:18.559 And Darcy went to a therapist and we only saw 348 00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:20.160 our girl one time, and it was the therapist she 349 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:22.519 went to. And it was the most we have ever 350 00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:26.559 learned about their upbringing really where she said that their dad, 351 00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:30.799 who they're so close to, Papa Silva, he he traveled 352 00:17:30.839 --> 00:17:34.079 so much. He was he sort of government contractor or something. 353 00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:36.400 We don't know if he was like Cia and just 354 00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:38.440 like taking taking people out, like we don't know what 355 00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:41.000 he did, but he was gone a lot. And he 356 00:17:41.319 --> 00:17:44.319 then we also found out he had had after their mom, 357 00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:48.079 he had had several other wives, all from other countries, 358 00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:51.240 sort of like what they're doing. But it was very interesting. 359 00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:52.720 There was like all I wanted, like was for my 360 00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:55.480 dad to just be home with me, so a lot, 361 00:17:55.960 --> 00:17:58.319 and then they continue to live with their dad when 362 00:17:58.359 --> 00:18:01.200 they're older, not with the mom. I mean, you know, 363 00:18:01.240 --> 00:18:03.839 it's just there's so much there with like them not 364 00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:07.200 having a father figure around in their childhood, you know, 365 00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:09.119 I think has a lot to do with it. 366 00:18:09.640 --> 00:18:12.160 I fully agree, and I actually do remember that scene 367 00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:15.480 because I've watched anything that Darcy and Stacy have been in, 368 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:20.039 and I think that unfortunately, the only people who are 369 00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:22.680 supposed to love us and conditionally in our lives is 370 00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:25.400 our parents, for better or for worse. And when we 371 00:18:25.519 --> 00:18:28.000 have parents who we perceive that they didn't give us 372 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:30.240 the love we needed, or we feel abandoned. And I 373 00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:33.119 think that Darcy and Stacy did feel abandoned by their dad. 374 00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:35.599 We spend the rest of our lives trying to convince 375 00:18:35.640 --> 00:18:39.359 people to love us, and hello, does that not you know, 376 00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:43.480 encompass like their whole dating life, right speaking, people who 377 00:18:43.559 --> 00:18:46.240 are bad for them, but instead of just walking away 378 00:18:46.279 --> 00:18:49.400 and finding someone better, convincing that person to just treat 379 00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:53.559 them better. And so I definitely think that's a pattern 380 00:18:53.599 --> 00:18:57.720 that I see with women who have a parent wound, 381 00:18:57.799 --> 00:19:00.519 especially a father wound, And I think it's it's interesting 382 00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:02.319 that they still live with him because I think they're 383 00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:06.480 still trying to just get his attention, which is very 384 00:19:06.599 --> 00:19:08.559 which is sad, and he loves them, clearly, I think 385 00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:12.640 he's a wonderful guy, but he was someone who was 386 00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:15.960 very focused on a lot of other things, and I 387 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:18.079 think that hurt them very much. And instead of just 388 00:19:18.200 --> 00:19:22.079 processing that hurt or the grief or whatever, they buy 389 00:19:22.119 --> 00:19:26.200 another bracelet or get another eye job or something like that. 390 00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:28.839 And unfortunately that's not going to do it. 391 00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:33.039 And do you think extreme plastic surgery is an addiction. 392 00:19:34.759 --> 00:19:38.680 I do when it's extreme. I think plastic surgery to 393 00:19:39.240 --> 00:19:43.720 you know, improve upon ourselves. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, 394 00:19:43.839 --> 00:19:46.480 right if you use it responsibly, using it for the 395 00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:50.480 right reasons. But I think anything in its extreme form 396 00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:54.319 is going to rarely be healthy. Rarely rarely because I 397 00:19:54.319 --> 00:19:58.200 don't want to say never, but because it's like, well, 398 00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:01.000 what are you? What is that ab that you're trying 399 00:20:01.079 --> 00:20:04.880 so hard to radically completely get rid of who you were? 400 00:20:05.480 --> 00:20:10.279 Shift that person? And you know, I think there's addictive 401 00:20:10.319 --> 00:20:12.440