Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome to Pink Shade. It's Thursday, and that
Speaker 1: means we're going to talk about pop and Bravo. That's
Speaker 1: pop culture and Bravo. And I have Melissa here, you're
Speaker 1: bish therapist.
Speaker 2: She's here.
Speaker 3: How you doing, Hi, Mary Payne, I'm great, How are you?
Speaker 3: Thanks so much for having me back.
Speaker 1: It's back by popular demand. Everybody loved when you were
Speaker 1: on last time.
Speaker 2: Oh they did. Yeah, that makes my heart so happy.
Speaker 1: Everybody loved it so much. I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: come on back. We had already played it anyway, I.
Speaker 3: Know, and I love you. I love the pod, you know.
Speaker 3: And we also have talked about I love you know
Speaker 3: some of the ninety Day stuff. So our world's really
Speaker 3: just collide in many ways.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now tell me ninety Day? What are you watching there?
Speaker 1: What's going on with you there?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 3: I watched The Last Resort one. There's too many names.
Speaker 3: I can't keep them all.
Speaker 2: Straight, right, right, right, right?
Speaker 3: So I watched the Last Resort I watch like the
Speaker 3: ones with like I like Libyan, Andre of course, Angela
Speaker 3: and Michael, because I mean, that's just one of the
Speaker 3: most catoch relationships in the history of television that I can.
Speaker 2: They're back and forth in court currently. Yeah, oh they are.
Speaker 2: I see.
Speaker 3: I can't even keep up because it's new every day.
Speaker 3: Yeah and yeah, so I'm I'm a huge fan of
Speaker 3: all that universe.
Speaker 1: Well, the new ninety Day Happily ever After is starting
Speaker 1: this Sunday, and because we just ended ninety day OG,
Speaker 1: we just ended that, So ninety Day hg A is
Speaker 1: starting on Sunday and I have already seen the screener
Speaker 1: for it. And if you like Libyan Andre, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be for you, It's gonna be for you.
Speaker 3: I heard. Well, I thought I saw on a preview
Speaker 3: that they're moving to Maldova, which is it's wild. It
Speaker 3: is wild, but honestly, I feel like I've always saw
Speaker 3: that coming her family. They were like, don't move, don't move,
Speaker 3: don't move, don't move, And then I'm like, I don't know,
Speaker 3: I just you know, Libya is so into his Moldovian culture,
Speaker 3: which I think is really great, but I just, yeah,
Speaker 3: imagine with little kids. You know, it's a complete cultural
Speaker 3: difference and all of that. But listen, if they're happy,
Speaker 3: then kudos.
Speaker 1: It seems to be that they're going to do it
Speaker 1: for a while and you know. Her whole point is like,
Speaker 1: my kids don't even know their other grandparents at all,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's really not fair. And he's like,
Speaker 1: and we don't get along with her family at all
Speaker 1: except for the dad really and one sister. So was
Speaker 1: the way they could have a better cost of living
Speaker 1: blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: So the HGA is it's gonna be good.
Speaker 1: It's interesting the way they're doing it because and jury's
Speaker 1: out if I like it or not. It's they have
Speaker 1: all these couples, so like a lot of them are
Speaker 1: in Florida, so they're all together at a dinner party
Speaker 1: instead of having separate.
Speaker 2: Stories, you know, and just really for interesting for me
Speaker 2: for note.
Speaker 1: Taking, I like to have the couple separate because I
Speaker 1: could be like, here are the notes for this couple.
Speaker 1: But when they're all together in a room, it makes
Speaker 1: it way harder. It's like going to be like a
Speaker 1: taken reunion notes.
Speaker 2: It's hard.
Speaker 3: No, literally, that's like what we do for housewives. And
Speaker 3: it really does make it so much harder when you're
Speaker 3: because you're trying to like take notes and contextualize a
Speaker 3: complete it's like each individual couple, but in the complete
Speaker 3: setting and then that changes dynamics. I know, it's like
Speaker 3: the other week for the Valley. I swear I think
Speaker 3: I had forty slides and I was like, this is
Speaker 3: too many, this is too much. So I could understand.
Speaker 3: I am a little hesitant about that. What does HHA
Speaker 3: stand for?
Speaker 2: What does that ever?
Speaker 1: After a question mark? Oh and there's a question mark?
Speaker 1: H ea, question mark. So we have Libyan on, we
Speaker 1: have Lauren and Alexi, and we have Yara and Job
Speaker 1: and they're they're those three couples all get together for
Speaker 1: dinner interest because they all live in that area. And
Speaker 1: then we have Darcy and Georgie who are in.
Speaker 3: By the way, I cannot believe. Yeah, Darcy and Georgie
Speaker 3: are back together. I'm married, not well, I'm married. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it just like it blows my mind. And I'm fascinated
Speaker 3: by Darcy and Stacy. Like those two. I will watch
Speaker 3: anything that they are in. They are fascinating characters.
Speaker 2: We do need another spin off.
Speaker 1: It was great to see It was great to see
Speaker 1: Stacy alone on the last resort we are in Florian
Speaker 1: to not have I mean, Darcy did come to visit,
Speaker 1: but it was great to see her by herself because
Speaker 1: we've never seen her by herself.
Speaker 3: And I think that's a big part of the problem,
Speaker 3: the two of them. They have two Yeah, there's too
Speaker 3: much enmeshment, codependency totally.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, since we're on the subject of Darcy and Daisy,
Speaker 1: what is your thought on the what is that called
Speaker 1: in your therapist opinion, when somebody changes themselves so much
Speaker 1: that they are unrecognizable.
Speaker 3: Oh like physically, yes, physically, Okay, So Darcy and Stacy,
Speaker 3: I believe there's this, and I have to be very
Speaker 3: mindful of how I talk about this. When I was
Speaker 3: in grad school, I took a course where we learned
Speaker 3: about some you know, psychological concepts and phenomenon and there's
Speaker 3: this one. It's called fully atsu, which is French for
Speaker 3: shared madness, and it is a concept that I was
Speaker 3: always fascinated by because it's so hard to have issues,
Speaker 3: Like having issues with yourself is one thing, but then
Speaker 3: when you have this shared sort of delusional piece with
Speaker 3: another person, it's really really fascinating. And so for me,
Speaker 3: I think Darcy and Stacy have some of the shared
Speaker 3: well not going to call it madness, that's you know,
Speaker 3: that's kind of a pejorative term. But they both seem
Speaker 3: to be so afraid to be individuals, like they're glued
Speaker 3: and connected to the fact that they have to do
Speaker 3: everything the same. They have to look the same, they
Speaker 3: have to wear the same jewelry, they have to have
Speaker 3: the same boobs and hair and all this stuff. And
Speaker 3: I think it comes from a place of lack of
Speaker 3: self esteem because when they were growing up, from everything
Speaker 3: I've watched, they felt they were picked on, they were bullied,
Speaker 3: they felt very unattractive. And you know, I think too,
Speaker 3: because they are biracial, I think that they were, you know,
Speaker 3: had some issues being teased for that. And so it's
Speaker 3: to me very complex because I think while part of
Speaker 3: it is them trying to distance themselves from being biracial,
Speaker 3: almost and I don't know that they do for purpose,
Speaker 3: because they try so hard to look just like a
Speaker 3: a Barbie doll. Yes, but I do think it also
Speaker 3: people have these issues where they there's a gap between
Speaker 3: what they really look like and what they see. So
Speaker 3: I believe that they both kind of have distorted perceptions
Speaker 3: of self and others. And when you have a distorted
Speaker 3: perception of yourself and then you're getting plastic surgery, what
Speaker 3: happens is you end up looking like a doll because
Speaker 3: you have such an unhealthy view of yourself and self esteem.
Speaker 3: So that's a very long way to answer that question.
Speaker 3: No kind of what I see for both of them.
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Speaker 1: it's it's fascinating to me, and we saw it also.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you watched the tell alls of
Speaker 1: this last season of ninety do Og that finished last week.
Speaker 1: We have a woman on there, a mini who.
Speaker 2: She came on the screen and people were like, who
Speaker 2: is that? And this is she's on the current season.
Speaker 1: She'd been on the current season and at the tell
Speaker 1: all she said it had been six weeks and she
Speaker 1: had literally gotten a nose job, a temporal lift, a
Speaker 1: bbl a visit that she'd gotten all this stuff and
Speaker 1: her face and a like an eyelift. She looked so wild,
Speaker 1: and then she had tons of makeup on and couldn't
Speaker 1: because she was only six weeks post surgery. But she
Speaker 1: looks so different that it was like the first thing,
Speaker 1: the first thing that was asked, like what's going on here?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: You know, she said she got bullied by the internet
Speaker 1: to do it. I was like, you're so beautiful before,
Speaker 1: Like we couldn't even stop looking at her. She was
Speaker 1: so beautiful you know to us.
Speaker 3: Well, right, and I think like what you see and
Speaker 3: what she sees are two different things, number one. But
Speaker 3: number two, you know, I have a very little amount
Speaker 3: of what these people have, right, Like I'm not famous,
Speaker 3: but I get a lot of feedback. And people are mean, right, yeah,
Speaker 3: people the Internet are mean. They're nasty, they're rude, Like
Speaker 3: the internet is going to Internet trolls are gonnatrol. But
Speaker 3: if you base your entire self worth on it, yeah,
Speaker 3: you're gonna have real problems because it's like you're gonna
Speaker 3: go up and down like the stock market, you know,
Speaker 3: if we base our self perception based on other people
Speaker 3: and so that's called an external locus of control, which
Speaker 3: is when we look at like other people and other
Speaker 3: things as the reason for like why things happen to us,
Speaker 3: as opposed to an internal locus of control, which is
Speaker 3: like I control me, I'm in charge of me. Right,
Speaker 3: There's like different ways to look at that, And in
Speaker 3: my opinion, i'd love to know what you think about this,
Speaker 3: the ninety day universe and all the spin offs. There
Speaker 3: is just a lot of that insecurity because I think
Speaker 3: there are people who are essentially regular folks and get
Speaker 3: thrust into the light like almost like a housewife, but
Speaker 3: then they're not. So I think that psychologically, fame does
Speaker 3: a lot to people, and if you don't have a
Speaker 3: really strong root system of morals and values, you're going
Speaker 3: to be floating with the wind. And I think that's
Speaker 3: what happens to a lot of these ninety day folks.
Speaker 3: They see themselves on TV and by the way, who
Speaker 3: looks good on TV, like untouched up. When I look
Speaker 3: at myself in a podcast, I'm like, oh dear god.
Speaker 1: Right, So imagine if you're on like TV and you
Speaker 1: can't even like control your own like filter or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, I get it.
Speaker 3: It's tough for women, but I just some of these
Speaker 3: women would feel more self confident and assured and not
Speaker 3: let the audience, you know, make them do things that
Speaker 3: maybe aren't good for them.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's It's super interesting because we have Chicaa on
Speaker 1: that show, and she's the same she's had she been.
Speaker 2: She she's more like, you know.
Speaker 1: Proud of it, and she's an esthetician by trade, so
Speaker 1: she's more like, oh yeah, like I got my loves
Speaker 1: filled and people made fun of them, but I like it,
Speaker 1: you know. Or I wanted to look like this, so
Speaker 1: I did it, and I like it and I feel confident.
Speaker 1: So that's sort of the one thing where with like
Speaker 1: Darcy and Stacey, we love them so much as like
Speaker 1: fun characters like that, they'd be fun to go have
Speaker 1: a drink with, they'd be good girlfriends to have your back,
Speaker 1: you know, all of it. And then you see sort
Speaker 1: of this every time you see them they've done something
Speaker 1: else and they're putting it on their Instagram or whatever,
Speaker 1: and they're going back and forth to Turkey and getting
Speaker 1: like the fox Eye and the you know, and you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: you can't do anything else, Like there's there's no worse space,
Speaker 1: there's no more there's no procedure you haven't done, like,
Speaker 1: let it settle.
Speaker 2: See what happens, you know?
Speaker 3: Well, I think to me, Darcy and Stacy also, they're
Speaker 3: just people who are cripplingly chronically looking for things to
Speaker 3: make them feel valuable, like Darcy and will wear a
Speaker 3: stack of jewelry that costs more than my home. And
Speaker 3: to me, when people are doing that paired with you know,
Speaker 3: plastic surgery, like extreme to the extreme, and you deal
Speaker 3: with these unethical practitioners who will do anything to anybody. Right,
Speaker 3: if there are some doctors that I'm sure they would
Speaker 3: go to that they'd be like, ethically, we cannot do this,
Speaker 3: you would help, right, But I just think that they
Speaker 3: unfortunately are looking for things to fill that void, and
Speaker 3: nothing's going to fill it other than self love. Like
Speaker 3: Darcy especially is so guilty of being like you know what,
Speaker 3: I am fabulous, And it's like but you don't believe that,
Speaker 3: because if you did believe it, right, there'd be less
Speaker 3: plastic surgery, there'd be less caring about looking snatched. Like
Speaker 3: I feel like they should make a darcy doll that
Speaker 3: you pull the string and it says you.
Speaker 1: Look snatched, saying doing it big yeah.
Speaker 2: Sat yes, yeah right. It's like.
Speaker 1: You can't even like talk about them without all of
Speaker 1: their catch phrases. Right, it's power couple, you know, like
Speaker 1: what powerful Okay? Uh? You know they talk they talk
Speaker 1: in platitudes, right, they talk in like home goods phrases.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's why they are getting better, because you
Speaker 3: can't live in platitudes, right, you can't live I'm serious.
Speaker 3: So you know, they like they'll they'll do these turn
Speaker 3: of phrase and then it's like, but this is why
Speaker 3: you're unhappy, because you're just being facetious about things that
Speaker 3: really matter, and you know you're focusing on all the
Speaker 3: wrong things, the jewels and the clothes and the shoes
Speaker 3: and the hair and all that. It's like nothing's going
Speaker 3: to fill that void, but you just loving yourself and
Speaker 3: that's the that's that's the only thing they're not trying
Speaker 3: to do. They're trying to do everything else. You know, did.
Speaker 2: You did you see the episode?
Speaker 1: It was many seasons and I don't know if it
Speaker 1: was I think it was from the Darcy and Stacy show,
Speaker 1: not from them being on other shows.
Speaker 2: I think it was their own show.
Speaker 1: And Darcy went to a therapist and we only saw
Speaker 1: our girl one time, and it was the therapist she
Speaker 1: went to. And it was the most we have ever
Speaker 1: learned about their upbringing really where she said that their dad,
Speaker 1: who they're so close to, Papa Silva, he he traveled
Speaker 1: so much. He was he sort of government contractor or something.
Speaker 1: We don't know if he was like Cia and just
Speaker 1: like taking taking people out, like we don't know what
Speaker 1: he did, but he was gone a lot. And he
Speaker 1: then we also found out he had had after their mom,
Speaker 1: he had had several other wives, all from other countries,
Speaker 1: sort of like what they're doing. But it was very interesting.
Speaker 1: There was like all I wanted, like was for my
Speaker 1: dad to just be home with me, so a lot,
Speaker 1: and then they continue to live with their dad when
Speaker 1: they're older, not with the mom. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: it's just there's so much there with like them not
Speaker 1: having a father figure around in their childhood, you know,
Speaker 1: I think has a lot to do with it.
Speaker 3: I fully agree, and I actually do remember that scene
Speaker 3: because I've watched anything that Darcy and Stacy have been in,
Speaker 3: and I think that unfortunately, the only people who are
Speaker 3: supposed to love us and conditionally in our lives is
Speaker 3: our parents, for better or for worse. And when we
Speaker 3: have parents who we perceive that they didn't give us
Speaker 3: the love we needed, or we feel abandoned. And I
Speaker 3: think that Darcy and Stacy did feel abandoned by their dad.
Speaker 3: We spend the rest of our lives trying to convince
Speaker 3: people to love us, and hello, does that not you know,
Speaker 3: encompass like their whole dating life, right speaking, people who
Speaker 3: are bad for them, but instead of just walking away
Speaker 3: and finding someone better, convincing that person to just treat
Speaker 3: them better. And so I definitely think that's a pattern
Speaker 3: that I see with women who have a parent wound,
Speaker 3: especially a father wound, And I think it's it's interesting
Speaker 3: that they still live with him because I think they're
Speaker 3: still trying to just get his attention, which is very
Speaker 3: which is sad, and he loves them, clearly, I think
Speaker 3: he's a wonderful guy, but he was someone who was
Speaker 3: very focused on a lot of other things, and I
Speaker 3: think that hurt them very much. And instead of just
Speaker 3: processing that hurt or the grief or whatever, they buy
Speaker 3: another bracelet or get another eye job or something like that.
Speaker 3: And unfortunately that's not going to do it.
Speaker 2: And do you think extreme plastic surgery is an addiction.
Speaker 3: I do when it's extreme. I think plastic surgery to
Speaker 3: you know, improve upon ourselves. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that,
Speaker 3: right if you use it responsibly, using it for the
Speaker 3: right reasons. But I think anything in its extreme form
Speaker 3: is going to rarely be healthy. Rarely rarely because I
Speaker 3: don't want to say never, but because it's like, well,
Speaker 3: what are you? What is that ab that you're trying
Speaker 3: so hard to radically completely get rid of who you were?
Speaker 3: Shift that person? And you know, I think there's addictive
Speaker 3: components to a lot of things that we see on
Speaker 3: these shows, like you know, again shopping, the jewelry buying,
Speaker 3: you know, the plastic surgery, a lot of it. There's
Speaker 3: definitely addictive components to a bunch of it.
Speaker 1: Well, we're talking about father issues in picking the wrong person.
Speaker 1: That leads me to wonder about Brittany because on the
Speaker 1: valley because we I don't know what we know about
Speaker 1: her dad. Of course we know her mom and her
Speaker 1: I mean, her mom can be Wizard's some mom's name.
Speaker 1: It'll come to me in the second.
Speaker 3: Oh god, yeah, I can't think of it.
Speaker 1: Sherry is Sherry, thank you, Sherry, Sherry and Sherry and
Speaker 1: a frosted lips, sick and her last time we saw
Speaker 1: I was like she had a full mullet. We're like,
Speaker 1: what's happened with Sherry's do here too? But I think
Speaker 1: Sherry is a wonderful mom. I do think Sherry has
Speaker 1: also been married a few times. And we've never heard
Speaker 1: anything about Britney's dad. And I didn't watch Brittany and
Speaker 1: Jack's Take Kentucky or whatever, so maybe the dad was
Speaker 1: on that show.
Speaker 3: I didn't either, But.
Speaker 1: You do wonder what would make her continue to think, Oh,
Speaker 1: I can change him, I can fix him. I'll be
Speaker 1: that one, because I've done that with lots of guys, like, well,
Speaker 1: I'll be the one, like all those other girls couldn't
Speaker 1: change him, but I'm the one, Like.
Speaker 2: Why why would I be? Why would I be the one? Right?
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of young girls fall into that.
Speaker 3: So I think so many women do. Absolutely, Absolutely, he'll change.
Speaker 2: He'll change.
Speaker 1: Is what is it about Brittany you think specifically, like
Speaker 1: if we're thinking about her.
Speaker 3: So, I think specifically with Brittany, it's such a good
Speaker 3: point about you don't hear about her dad a lot.
Speaker 3: And to me, when you have someone in a reality
Speaker 3: TV setting and you're not hearing about one parent, usually,
Speaker 3: to me, that means there's something there, you know, and
Speaker 3: it could be for a million different reasons. But for
Speaker 3: all the things that I have watched, I've really never
Speaker 3: heard anything about Brittany's dad. But I definitely believe that
Speaker 3: Brittany with a whole vander Pump Rules crew. I think
Speaker 3: she always felt like an outsider. I think she always
Speaker 3: felt like she didn't belong and then I think because
Speaker 3: of whatever history that we don't know about, she really
Speaker 3: like you joked about and listen, I've done this too,
Speaker 3: and I'm a therapist, so I hope that makes people
Speaker 3: feel better. I have absolutely spent my life trying to
Speaker 3: convince losers to love me. So yeah, no one feel badly, right,
Speaker 3: we all do it. But I think that Brittany got
Speaker 3: herself into the scenario where it was like, well, she's
Speaker 3: in this friend group and now she's on the show,
Speaker 3: and this is the person that she's chosen. But I
Speaker 3: really do think she leaned into that fallacy that we
Speaker 3: all do, which is I can make him change, or
Speaker 3: he'll change for me, or maybe this could be different.
Speaker 3: And I think that if it weren't for Cruise, I
Speaker 3: don't know that she would have ever left.
Speaker 1: I think that's interesting too, because you know, as we
Speaker 1: know with the situation with Jack's as we know from
Speaker 1: the after shows and what not, which I did not
Speaker 1: have a chance to watch the latest after show, what
Speaker 1: we know from all of that is JAXX did go
Speaker 1: to rehab twice. He did go to the first one
Speaker 1: and leave after a week. They didn't show that for
Speaker 1: whatever reason.
Speaker 3: I wonder why.
Speaker 2: I don't know why they didn't show. But they're giving.
Speaker 3: Jacks quite a generous atit. I'm sorry, Please continue.
Speaker 2: Do you think so? I think I don't think they're
Speaker 2: giving him a generous edit you do.
Speaker 3: Though, Well, I just think that Jax gets away with
Speaker 3: a lot of things that are just brushed away or whatever,
Speaker 3: Like what would be the point of that happening in
Speaker 3: them not show? I don't know. I just I feel
Speaker 3: a little irritated about the whole Jack's thing right now,
Speaker 3: to be honest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope they're going to at the reunion dig into.
Speaker 1: I mean surely, because she has said it on the
Speaker 1: after show. I mean until he went twice. He went
Speaker 1: to that one and he left after a week, and
Speaker 1: then he went completely off the rails, And so I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's where we started filming, when he
Speaker 1: had gone completely he had gone one to come.
Speaker 2: Back, or if all of what we saw was.
Speaker 1: That one week he came home, went off the rails,
Speaker 1: and went again, and they lumped it all together for continuity.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I'm going to tell you this
Speaker 1: from my experience of my husband going to a treatment
Speaker 1: facility for ninety days. I have a brother in law
Speaker 1: that was in a treatment facility for ninety days. I
Speaker 1: know my friend's brother was in a treatment facility for
Speaker 1: thirty days. I know people that have done the Gamut.
Speaker 1: I know people who've only done IOP intensive outpatient. None
Speaker 1: of them allow you to have your phones, and none
Speaker 1: of them allow you to go home and check your
Speaker 1: mail or meet your kid in a park. Not one never,
Speaker 1: And he said, I'll watch what happens live. I can't
Speaker 1: help it. I mean, I shouldn't have been calling her,
Speaker 1: but they gave me my phone. I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: it's like the State of California.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I was like, so I addressed this because you know,
Speaker 3: another thing that programs wouldn't allow you to do is
Speaker 3: wear your bar sweatshirt for like glorifying alcohol in all
Speaker 3: the time. That literally because I so, I've worked in
Speaker 3: a residential treatment facility. I've worked in IOPs and all
Speaker 3: all the different levels of care, and there are two
Speaker 3: big things, the phone and no glorifying substance use, meaning
Speaker 3: with shirts, T shirts, sweatshirts. That's a huge thing. And
Speaker 3: so I looked up the State of California. They do
Speaker 3: have stricter rules and rags when it comes to cell phones,
Speaker 3: like not being able to take cell phones, but it's
Speaker 3: dependent upon each treatment facility and their rules and regulations.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: So there, I guess I'm just gonna stop walking around
Speaker 3: the issue and say that it certainly seems like there
Speaker 3: are certain facilities where if it's private pay, you can
Speaker 3: do a little bit more what you want, right if
Speaker 3: if the facility is about maybe money or.
Speaker 2: Sorry, it's okay. If it's authority, need to do it.
Speaker 3: Sorry, it's more about money and less about treatment, then
Speaker 3: you're gonna get these different shifts in rules. Because I
Speaker 3: agree with you fully, he did not do one thing.
Speaker 3: If you're on your phone twenty four to seven rage
Speaker 3: texting people, you're not paying attention to lectures, you're not
Speaker 3: in ingratiating yourself into the sober community, which, by the way,
Speaker 3: is a huge part of impatient treatment right getting.
Speaker 2: Away off time, you're sitting with other people that are there.
Speaker 2: You don't have a choice.
Speaker 1: There's the only people there right right, And you will
Speaker 1: probably think this is pretty normal. He had like thirty
Speaker 1: minutes a day or maybe even every other day at
Speaker 1: the beginning, and he could call people, so like, if
Speaker 1: I didn't answer, what do you call?
Speaker 2: Like, then we didn't.
Speaker 1: Talk because he would go to the next person. He'd
Speaker 1: be like his parents or whatever, because that was it.
Speaker 1: Those were his thirty minutes. And sometimes he would call
Speaker 1: me and be like, well, you didn't answer the first time,
Speaker 1: so I call my parents. But now we have like
Speaker 1: four minutes. So I'd be like, right, okay, I don't
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what to do about the electricity
Speaker 1: bill or something, you know, business.
Speaker 2: But you know, it was interesting because he.
Speaker 1: Was like, I'm in therapy nine hours a day and
Speaker 1: then you know, Jesse or Whoever's like, but in between
Speaker 1: those like if you got a ten minute pee break,
Speaker 1: you would and grab your phone to rage text and
Speaker 1: then put it down.
Speaker 2: It went back.
Speaker 1: How how are you staying consistent with your care when
Speaker 1: even probably before bed they would he would probably get
Speaker 1: to have it. And I will tell you this where
Speaker 1: my husband went. There was the place where he went,
Speaker 1: and then there was like a fancier section of it
Speaker 1: that was for like celebrities, okay, and he heard he
Speaker 1: heard that in that section the celebrities would get their
Speaker 1: their cell phones at night, that they would be allowed
Speaker 1: to have them for like an hour for like business
Speaker 1: purposes or whatever.
Speaker 2: They would say. They they would be allowed to use.
Speaker 1: Their own personal device, not to sit in a room
Speaker 1: with a phone bank with a telephone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let me tell you a little something funny. So
Speaker 3: the rehab that I worked out, we had a program
Speaker 3: for professionals, So professionals meaning doctors, lawyers, nurses, people who
Speaker 3: held licensures that had to work with the state to
Speaker 3: make sure that license was either intact or you know,
Speaker 3: given back because of the substance use. And we used
Speaker 3: old school payphones, like you didn't actually have to put
Speaker 3: the coins in, but we you know, we turned them
Speaker 3: on and off. And let me tell you something, I
Speaker 3: don't care politicians, people who were important the program that
Speaker 3: I was in, we don't give a shit who you are.
Speaker 2: I don't give a shit who you are.
Speaker 3: No, the whole part of getting into recovery is realizing
Speaker 3: that you're not special. You're not special, and you're not important,
Speaker 3: and this is what you are here to do. So
Speaker 3: I definitely, but it speaks to the fact that people
Speaker 3: with celebrity get treated, you know, differently, and they shouldn't. Right,
Speaker 3: there are certain programs that celebrities might not choose to
Speaker 3: go to because if you know, for example, if someone
Speaker 3: important came in and we had this happen and they're like,
Speaker 3: well I need my phone, We're like, that's not going
Speaker 3: to happen, they would decide to go somewhere else. And so,
Speaker 3: you know, I think that's very telling.
Speaker 2: I think it's super interesting.
Speaker 1: And he said the reason I looked it up to
Speaker 1: and the reason was the celebrities or whatever.
Speaker 2: And they stayed in kind of a different building.
Speaker 1: They had their own room, whereas where my husband was,
Speaker 1: he was in a room with like two other guys.
Speaker 1: But they had their own space. But they had their
Speaker 1: you know, they shared a room, they shared a bathroom.
Speaker 1: And this was more at the other place was those
Speaker 1: if you paid X amount of money more, you would
Speaker 1: have your own room and your own bathroom. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't have any money for this. I definitely don't
Speaker 1: have money for that. What are you talking about expensive?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: And that's the thing.
Speaker 3: Rehab is so expensive just for regular folks, and so
Speaker 3: I think that what happens is you have these programs
Speaker 3: that might be legit, but they need the money because
Speaker 3: sometimes insurance doesn't want to pay out. I would have
Speaker 3: so many times where people would come into treatment, the
Speaker 3: insurance after a week would be like they're done, and
Speaker 3: I'd have to argue with them and fight and do
Speaker 3: the whole you know. That was the most aggravating part
Speaker 3: of the process, and I would usually win. I should
Speaker 3: have been a lawyer. I'm a very good litigator, but yeah,
Speaker 3: I got.
Speaker 1: A guy like working on my behalf to get it
Speaker 1: paid for. My insurance, but it was probably a year's
Speaker 1: worth of battle.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: Oh it's ridiculous. But so the point being, when you
Speaker 3: have someone who's willing to offer up a load of cash,
Speaker 3: treatment facilities may vary or bend in flex in terms
Speaker 3: of the boundaries, and you know, I don't want to
Speaker 3: be too judgmental about that. It is a business after all,
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, I think it
Speaker 3: really is just about holding people accountable because you just
Speaker 3: you're not doing people any favors. It's a waste of
Speaker 3: everybody's time and money if people are being held to
Speaker 3: different standards because they're celebrities or they're rich or wealthier
Speaker 3: or whatever it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, God, wouldn't you love.
Speaker 1: It's just like somewhere along the way, somebody that was
Speaker 1: in treatment with Jack's would just be like, Hey, I
Speaker 1: know it's supposed to be anonymous, but I was in
Speaker 1: there with him, and here's what happened. Like that dude
Speaker 1: never came to a group, That dude only had this
Speaker 1: some kind of sweatshirt that said his own name on it,
Speaker 1: and that dude was lying and possibly sniff and cocaine
Speaker 1: in the bathroom.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know what I mean like he's it's
Speaker 2: he is saying that.
Speaker 1: To me, it appears he is saying the words that
Speaker 1: he knows he is supposed to say, but there is
Speaker 1: no meaning behind him. Even I'll watch What Happens Live,
Speaker 1: which I think is his best performance.
Speaker 2: Jet.
Speaker 1: You could tell he was a biting back the but
Speaker 1: and but she did. You could tell he was It
Speaker 1: was hard for him to stop at the end of
Speaker 1: a statement and be like, oh, what I did was
Speaker 1: completely wrong. I shouldn't have done that, you know, he
Speaker 1: because he wanted to go. But you know she did
Speaker 1: take cruise and move out, So what like I kicked
Speaker 1: her out?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Well, no, you should have said, do not take my
Speaker 1: child to leave. If this is how you feel, I
Speaker 1: will leave. You know he he did it a little.
Speaker 1: But he tried very hard to just make his apology
Speaker 1: and quit. And you could tell he had been coached
Speaker 1: to do so, because it's not in his nature to
Speaker 1: not end it with a butt.
Speaker 3: Right And you can tell so when someone is saying
Speaker 3: the words but their actions are are we would call
Speaker 3: it like incongruent. That usually means that the person is
Speaker 3: full of shit for lack of a better term. That's
Speaker 3: not your profession, that's my professional term. You are full
Speaker 3: of shit. So you know, let me be clear, Jacks
Speaker 3: is full of it his behaviors and I've seen this
Speaker 3: a million times. Right, He's not the only guy who
Speaker 3: goes into a treatment program and acts like this and
Speaker 3: acts like he's special. There's a term for it, and
Speaker 3: I talk about it on my podcast. People love it.
Speaker 3: It's called king baby. Have you heard of that? I
Speaker 3: had that in the recovery space.
Speaker 2: Okay, I haven't heard that. I love it though, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, well I say it all the time. People on
Speaker 3: my Instagram love it. They're like, oh, that's a king baby.
Speaker 3: So it's king and queen baby, right, it's it's it's
Speaker 3: for everyone. It's not just relegated to men. But it's
Speaker 3: this concept and recovery where people get themselves into this.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: M Life's not fair, you know. Yeah, but someone did
Speaker 3: this and someone did that, and that's where Jacks lives.
Speaker 3: He lives in this king baby kind of state. And
Speaker 3: then what happens is he thinks that he's special and
Speaker 3: deserves different treatment and that life needs to bend to
Speaker 3: his will. And that's the recipe for addiction, because addiction
Speaker 3: is sometimes not even about the substance. It's about ego.
Speaker 3: It's about feeling that things should bend to our will.
Speaker 3: It's about those leaf systems you know, that go hand
Speaker 3: in hand with addiction. And so Jackson is the king
Speaker 3: baby if I've ever seen one, and he has shown
Speaker 3: me that he is. Has no desire for change, no ability.
Speaker 3: Anyone can change, but they just have to have motivation
Speaker 3: to do so, genuine motivation, and when they're ready, they will, do.
Speaker 2: You think I mean? He said?
Speaker 1: He he said on the after show and laughed about
Speaker 1: it and said that he was like scored nine on
Speaker 1: the narcissist scale. I was like, out of nine or
Speaker 1: is it out of tent? But I mean at a nine.
Speaker 1: I mean if it's out of nine, then that sounds
Speaker 1: about right.
Speaker 2: He said that.
Speaker 1: He goes, I scored like, what like a nine on
Speaker 1: that narcissist test. So I was like, yeah, how did you.
Speaker 2: Get to nine? How did you not get to ten? Well?
Speaker 3: I don't know what test he took, but I would
Speaker 3: believe that he would have had a very high score.
Speaker 3: And you know, I think the most concerning thing about
Speaker 3: Jacks is that he brags about like lacking empathy, right,
Speaker 3: he brags about these things like he thinks it's a
Speaker 3: flex And I think that's the most concerning thing for me,
Speaker 3: because you know, when people get into recovery, they're usually
Speaker 3: ashamed of this type of behavior. Like someone in recovery
Speaker 3: would be like if he had a sponsor or you know,
Speaker 3: if he was in the twelve step program, I know,
Speaker 3: not everybody does that. His sponsor would check him hard
Speaker 3: and be like this is some bullshit behavior, like what
Speaker 3: is going on here? And you know, I just think
Speaker 3: Jax is telling us all what he needs to say.
Speaker 3: I don't think we need someone from the treatment community
Speaker 3: to come out and say anything. I think we understand
Speaker 3: he's telling us where he's at.
Speaker 1: We just have to listen, you know. And Brittany has
Speaker 1: said too. She was like, he hadn't changed. He hadn't
Speaker 1: changed one' be it. She's like, I mean, she says
Speaker 1: she does drug test him, and she knows that he
Speaker 1: drinks still, but she does drug test him before he's
Speaker 1: allowed to see his son, which is smart. But she says,
Speaker 1: as far as that goes, he's not doing drugs anymore.
Speaker 1: But she was like, but he's still the same person.
Speaker 1: She's like, he's right, check to me this morning. I
Speaker 1: mean she's like, he's because he cannot control her and
Speaker 1: he cannot believe somebody broke.
Speaker 2: Up with him.
Speaker 1: Yep, because I don't know if we're facilidated by like
Speaker 1: you because it was Dozzi, he would cheat on her
Speaker 1: so to force her to break out with him, right,
Speaker 1: But in this situation is just I'm breaking up with
Speaker 1: you because you're a bad person.
Speaker 2: And I don't think that's ever happened to him.
Speaker 3: It definitely hasn't. And now I think what's adding insult
Speaker 3: to injury for him is his son. And you know,
Speaker 3: the one thing I've said to be clear is you
Speaker 3: can't be a good father if you're being a terrible
Speaker 3: co parent. I've seen a lot of rhetoric about this
Speaker 3: online and it's like, you can't be a good dad
Speaker 3: if this is what you're doing to Brittany, Right, you're
Speaker 3: taking your child's resources away, trying to punish Brittany by
Speaker 3: not paying the mortgage. That's financial abuse, and that impacts
Speaker 3: your child. That's taking his sense of safety and security away.
Speaker 3: And so he can say he cares about his child
Speaker 3: all day long, but how we care about others a
Speaker 3: scene in our behaviors. Brittany is absolutely right. I trust
Speaker 3: her implicitly when it comes to this, and I think
Speaker 3: he sees his child as a chip to be one
Speaker 3: rather than a person to care.
Speaker 1: For the fact that it was seven days before he
Speaker 1: saw his child, after he was on the camera crying
Speaker 1: about how he missed him and couldn't believe he coudn't
Speaker 1: see him, and that, you know, I believe, I believe
Speaker 1: he's sad that he couldn't see his son. But he
Speaker 1: was just like, well, Brittany hadn't reached out. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: you could get your car and drive to where they
Speaker 1: are with a friend, take shorts with you. God knows
Speaker 1: the along star Frank Schwartz is like fine or Jason
Speaker 1: or Janet or somebody that she trusts. Take them with you,
Speaker 1: say hey, I want to see my kid. They can
Speaker 1: be here. But there's not any reason for it to
Speaker 1: have been seven days. And then my complain about it,
Speaker 1: like as if she did it to him, right.
Speaker 3: Right, This is my point. It's that you can put
Speaker 3: down a substance, but if the behaviors still exist, if
Speaker 3: you're still a chaos addict, if you're still doing these things,
Speaker 3: You're still an active addiction. Doesn't matter if you put
Speaker 3: the substance down. Kiss the chase, Oh yeah. And I
Speaker 3: find this a lot of times with ninety day people too.
Speaker 3: By the way, going back to that premut, there's a
Speaker 3: lot of people Angelina from MTV is another good example
Speaker 3: from Jersey Shore. There are these people who may not
Speaker 3: be have a substance, but they're addicted to chaos, and
Speaker 3: that is a very huge part of addiction in some people.
Speaker 3: It's just like they need that drama. Their nervous system
Speaker 3: feels safe with chaos and drama, probably because of how
Speaker 3: they grew up. But you know, going back to the
Speaker 3: Jacks thing, I just think that he is being super
Speaker 3: clear in his intentions. When he behaves the way he does,
Speaker 3: it makes no effort to change. I personally have called
Speaker 3: for him to be fired. I think at this point
Speaker 3: there have been so many Bravo folks who have been
Speaker 3: fired for much less.
Speaker 2: Jackie was fired for the less before, right yep.
Speaker 1: And by the way, he got fired for the thing
Speaker 1: that he did again two weeks ago. Thank you saying
Speaker 1: this is my show, it's my show, it's my show.
Speaker 1: I was like, that is what you got fired for before.
Speaker 1: That's what Vicky Gumfelson got fired for. So there was
Speaker 1: a third there's three people that got fired for doing that.
Speaker 3: Jennifriden, wasn't it.
Speaker 2: Or No, am I wrong?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: She had terrible in the Jersey mics.
Speaker 1: That's right, there's it'll it'll come to me like probably
Speaker 1: tonight when I'm trying to go to sleep.
Speaker 2: But there was three people.
Speaker 1: It was Vicky was Jack By saying like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what's your problem is. You're on my show. And
Speaker 1: would you say to Lisa vander Pump when the name
Speaker 1: of the show is vander Pump, to tell Lisa my show,
Speaker 1: my show And she's like, excuse me, so I and
Speaker 1: then he said it again to Zach.
Speaker 2: Zach was the heroes. Zach was the hero of that episode.
Speaker 3: By the way, He's been the hero of many an episode.
Speaker 3: Zach just such a good friend, so hilarious. He is
Speaker 3: not afraid of no ghost you know. He's like, I'm
Speaker 3: not good no ghosts. I don't care. I'm gonna tell
Speaker 3: Jack's what's up. I'm gonna let people know. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 3: just loving Zach. He's just such a breath of fresh air.
Speaker 2: I know when he goes not for the last thirty days,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, so good. He was good.
Speaker 1: He was very good on this week's episode of The Valley,
Speaker 1: you know, get getting ready for Kristen's engagement and stuff.
Speaker 1: And then I really liked the kind of the mature
Speaker 1: conversation they had around like Janet and Jason coming and
Speaker 1: putting on the shirt and the whole thing. But then
Speaker 1: of course Janet. I was like, I think Janet is
Speaker 1: great TV. But I'm like, and Janet's to be like, well,
Speaker 1: we just don't have to say for the rest of
Speaker 1: the tip because we're like, okay, Jason goes, let's just
Speaker 1: make it clear you were invited. They just said you
Speaker 1: are invited, and you agreed because it's her special day
Speaker 1: and you guys aren't good right now that it would
Speaker 1: be a bad idea. So you were invited. And she's like, well,
Speaker 1: let's just go to dinner and maybe we just won't
Speaker 1: do anything the rest of the JYRP. He's like, what
Speaker 1: are you talking about? And I liked how he said,
Speaker 1: we got a babysitter. This trip is for us too,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: He's like, I took time off work, bitch, this is happening.
Speaker 2: We're in Yeah, yeah, they're going to the beach. We're
Speaker 2: going to the beach. You know.
Speaker 3: But to me, that whole scene, it was so clear
Speaker 3: to me that once Janet realized it was about Kristin,
Speaker 3: she just completely spiraled and melted down.
Speaker 2: But she's like, the whole trip is about Kristin.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, I know, which is like? How
Speaker 3: how like sometimes the entitlement of some of these people,
Speaker 3: I'm like, are you kidding for a free trip to Hawaii?
Speaker 3: I don't care. If we were celebrating Jacks, I would
Speaker 3: enjoy my time, even though I had, even though.
Speaker 2: I just called for him to be fired, I would
Speaker 2: celebrate him. Would you know?
Speaker 3: That's how much I love Hawaii. I would enjoy that trip, honey. Okay.
Speaker 3: But I think that Janet, when it's not about her
Speaker 3: and it's about someone else who she doesn't like, I
Speaker 3: think she feels very invalidated. But the way that she
Speaker 3: acts is just so rude and entitled. But the other
Speaker 3: thing I noticed is how her emotional intelligence, like her EQ.
Speaker 3: When Jason's around, it seems to be very high, But
Speaker 3: as soon as he goes away, she's it's it's like
Speaker 3: completely gone. And so as a therapist, I was fascinated
Speaker 3: by the switch because normally you don't see that if
Speaker 3: someone has the capability to have this level of emotional intelligence,
Speaker 3: you usually don't see a switch back and forth. And
Speaker 3: so I feel that's really interesting with Janet, which shows
Speaker 3: me that she really likes to ride the petty train,
Speaker 3: like that's like one of her favorite things to do.
Speaker 3: But she has the ability to have emotional intelligence when
Speaker 3: she's has eyes on her. I think that's fascinating.
Speaker 1: I like her and Jason together so much because I'm like,
Speaker 1: they seem to be such a solid couple, and when
Speaker 1: they weren't watch What Happens Live, they were like funny
Speaker 1: and cute together and He's just like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 2: She does these She's he's just.
Speaker 1: Wacky Janet, and I he seems to always take up
Speaker 1: for her, even though maybe I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: maybe when they get home, he's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: that was not cool? Like what you know, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't embarrasse me like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I do think he tends to do that, which is
Speaker 3: probably why she is emotionally intelligent. It's just whether she
Speaker 3: chooses or not to use it, because Jason does seem
Speaker 3: like the type of guy that I think because he's
Speaker 3: a lawyer, sometimes I think he has very black and
Speaker 3: white thinking about like what's right and wrong, which may
Speaker 3: just be a hazard of the job. But he definitely
Speaker 3: tends to seems like the type of person who when
Speaker 3: she's wrong, he'll let her know you're wrong for this,
Speaker 3: And truly that is what makes a better person, because
Speaker 3: I've been with my husband for twenty three years and
Speaker 3: we have to hold each other accountable, like, hey, you
Speaker 3: were acting like a jerk, or hey, like what was
Speaker 3: going on here? That's how we all learn and grow
Speaker 3: if we're doing this thing called life right. So it's
Speaker 3: not about being perfect, But I just think she repeats
Speaker 3: the same behavior over and over, and sometimes the lack
Speaker 3: of empathy for me is really off putting. It's like, oh, yikes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, yeah, I agree with that. Now.
Speaker 1: I can't remember how much you and I talked about
Speaker 1: the Nia and Danny thing last time, but I'm very
Speaker 1: interested in it because I see a lot of, you know,
Speaker 1: Danny's behaviors that are like triggering to me, you know,
Speaker 1: being married to somebody who wasn't active alcoholism before. A
Speaker 1: lot of these hiding behaviors, a lot of these like
Speaker 1: everybody else, does it do a big deal? I need
Speaker 1: to catch up because everybody's been drinking, Like a lot
Speaker 1: of the words that come out of the rational A
Speaker 1: lot and a lot of the looking to see what
Speaker 1: his wife is doing and putting the drink down and
Speaker 1: then when she comes over, Oh, I saved this for
Speaker 1: you because I'm trying to show you that I'm being
Speaker 1: honest when you're not, you know, right right, the hiding
Speaker 1: let me say it, the hiding in the pantry was
Speaker 1: like that got me.
Speaker 2: That got me. I was like, oh, oh that's not good.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, I can't tell you how many people
Speaker 3: came into treatment after they were found doing something like
Speaker 3: that because secrecy. The one thing I can tell you
Speaker 3: that makes all issues worse is secrecy, because secrets really
Speaker 3: do keep us sick. And they do say that in
Speaker 3: the recovery space, and it is honestly the truth. And
Speaker 3: so I think that to regular folks, they might look
Speaker 3: at that and say, what's the big deal. But for
Speaker 3: folks who have had those experiences, or who have clinical experience,
Speaker 3: personal professional whatever, you realize how problematic the lying really
Speaker 3: becomes and the rationalization the excuses. Right, well, I have
Speaker 3: to catch up. I have to catch up. I got
Speaker 3: here late. You know. It's like it's like from the
Speaker 3: Handbook of Addiction one oh one, it is checking all
Speaker 3: those boxes. So I understand you and other people being triggered,
Speaker 3: for sure.
Speaker 1: It's interesting too that what I have said many times
Speaker 1: about anybody I know that'll say like, oh, so, so,
Speaker 1: I can't believe they were your girl or boy or whoever.
Speaker 1: Man Wollman be like, oh, I can't believe they were
Speaker 1: so drunk. I mean, we had like two drinks. And
Speaker 1: I'll go, let me guarantee you they didn't have to drinks.
Speaker 1: Let me guarantee you they had five before they arrived
Speaker 1: because they wanted to be at a level before they arrived.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it looks to you that they had two
Speaker 1: drinks and passed out, but that's not the case. And
Speaker 1: we found that with whoever that life coach is, that
Speaker 1: weirdo put your hand on my heart, and that guy,
Speaker 1: whoever he is, when he got Danny to admit, you know,
Speaker 1: oh it's shameful, and he got him to admit, like
Speaker 1: I so sometimes you may take a few drinks without
Speaker 1: Sony knowing because you don't want them to know how
Speaker 1: many drinks you had because you're ashamed. And he just
Speaker 1: nodded and said yeah, And I was like, can we
Speaker 1: now dig into this, Can we ask them follow up questions? Nope,
Speaker 1: Let's just move on to Jack's.
Speaker 3: But this is a problem with these what should I
Speaker 3: call them, like non professional professionals. I don't know how
Speaker 3: to characterize them. This is the exact problem because in
Speaker 3: a group setting, I've led bazillions of groups, it's one
Speaker 3: of the main components of impatient treatment in addition to
Speaker 3: like all the other stuff. And you know, when you
Speaker 3: have a girl of people and Danny got to that point,
Speaker 3: there could have and should have been more delving into
Speaker 3: that for Danny's sake, not for us, not for entertainment value,
Speaker 3: not for Bravo, for Danny. But when you have this
Speaker 3: kind of quasi, you know, these men will do anything
Speaker 3: to just avoid real therapy. They'll just it's insane to me.
Speaker 3: And that's what you get with this guy, where it's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: so he admitted this on TV, and now I guarantee
Speaker 3: I could see the shame on his face. I could
Speaker 3: see the shame, I could see the guilt, and I
Speaker 3: wondered how that impacted him later and how did that
Speaker 3: impact his drinking for the next couple of days. So
Speaker 3: I think when there's a real responsibility that is lacking
Speaker 3: in that scene number one and number two. I also
Speaker 3: think putting your hands on people touch is a really
Speaker 3: tricky intervention, and I don't it should only really be
Speaker 3: present if it's adding so or it's adding value, or
Speaker 3: if it makes a lot of sense. And I just
Speaker 3: thought that whole scene just reeked of, like, let's do
Speaker 3: this for TV, but in reality it could have been
Speaker 3: really damaging.
Speaker 1: I think that there's a whole and even though it's
Speaker 1: just a bunch of dudes that are friends or whatever,
Speaker 1: I think there's a real consent issue there because I
Speaker 1: think even if I was sitting around with a bunch
Speaker 1: of my friends and we had no problems with whatever,
Speaker 1: but you wanted to say like something to them, if
Speaker 1: they said to me, like you need to put your
Speaker 1: hand on your friend's hand and look them in the
Speaker 1: eye or on their what I'd be.
Speaker 2: Like, No, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 1: That's not and that's not natural to me, I would
Speaker 1: not naturally hold my friend's hand or or in this case,
Speaker 1: these guys would be like, I'm gonna put my hand
Speaker 1: on your chest, and that's not like a natural way
Speaker 1: of these bros would be speaking. So it makes them
Speaker 1: you start off feeling weird before you can even say
Speaker 1: what it The truth is this man session they were
Speaker 1: having or whatever. And so many people compare it to
Speaker 1: that Louis ruelis, you know, sweating on the beach like
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: People compared it to that.
Speaker 1: They're like they're waiting for them model take their shirts
Speaker 1: off and start sweating and screaming at the camera.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's there's no last detective there. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't think for men there I think when you
Speaker 3: put your hands on someone like that or force them
Speaker 3: to be face to face, it does impede the progress
Speaker 3: of whatever it is you're trying to do. And again,
Speaker 3: these little things, that's how I could tell that this
Speaker 3: person wasn't maybe trained in the way that they needed
Speaker 3: to be trained, because these were a lot of mistakes
Speaker 3: that I feel like impeded and it and it also
Speaker 3: like when you have people talking about deep intimate things,
Speaker 3: there has to be a processing group. It's called a
Speaker 3: group process for a reason. There are books and books
Speaker 3: and books written on it. It's not just a life
Speaker 3: coach sitting people down and saying tell him you're grieving now,
Speaker 3: let's get up and walk away. That needs to be
Speaker 3: a processing to this so that there's not these issues
Speaker 3: later that just the whole thing was just it was
Speaker 3: not great in my It was.
Speaker 1: Definitely a missed opportunity to delve into, especially because all
Speaker 1: these guys have been on Danny about his drinking and
Speaker 1: have Danny admit like, hey, some of what you have
Speaker 1: been saying is right. You know, I don't like maybe
Speaker 1: your your approach, but what maybe I And then when
Speaker 1: the guy said, maybe you have extra drinks when nobody's
Speaker 1: looking because you feel shame and you could tell it
Speaker 1: kind of dawned on him. I do do that, and
Speaker 1: I do feel bad about it, and it dawned on
Speaker 1: him in that moment he was doing it. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, well this is the conversation we
Speaker 1: should be moving forward with because Jack's just got to
Speaker 1: have a treatment center, so maybe he could even add
Speaker 1: something here. And then you've got Jason who's been accusing
Speaker 1: him of this, and it's like Jesse, who has got
Speaker 1: his own set of bullshitery, like could we could, Hey,
Speaker 1: let's try to help our friend here. He's not going
Speaker 1: to like decide tomorrow to stop drinking, but at least
Speaker 1: maybe this is conversation that got his will spinning, like,
Speaker 1: oh wow, maybe I do see now what these other
Speaker 1: people are seeing in my behaviors.
Speaker 3: Right, And I do think that that's you're It's such
Speaker 3: a good point. The one and only good thing that
Speaker 3: came out of that is that I think you know
Speaker 3: there there's a saying it's not what you say about
Speaker 3: how you say it. And Jason and some of these
Speaker 3: other guys have been like chasing Danny with pitchforks and
Speaker 3: yelling you're an alcoholic, which is always going to put
Speaker 3: people's defenses up. But it just goes to show when
Speaker 3: you approach someone with curiosity and kindness, I mean in
Speaker 3: the addiction community, like most people don't come to rehab
Speaker 3: and they're like, Hi, I love, I'm so happy to
Speaker 3: be here. Let me dive in. There's some amount of
Speaker 3: meeting that resistance and understanding.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: It's there's this whole thing called the stages of change
Speaker 3: Perchuskin de Clemente talk about, you know, when someone's in
Speaker 3: this level of denial or resistance, there's ways that you
Speaker 3: have to approach it, and the life coach actually did
Speaker 3: a good job of that. As you said, it was
Speaker 3: just a real missed opportunity to like say, okay, well
Speaker 3: let's talk more about that, you know, let's not just
Speaker 3: leave this here, and that almost.
Speaker 1: Opportunity for the other guys to hear him exactly and
Speaker 1: be like, oh, wow, we shouldn't be approaching this like
Speaker 1: this because actually this is a bigger issue, you know,
Speaker 1: and not yes, I think if they really thought he
Speaker 1: like like Jack's when they really realize Jackson is like
Speaker 1: a full cokehead that is, you know, doing physical damage
Speaker 1: in his home and possible domestic abuse allegedly, when they
Speaker 1: realize this is happening, they don't treat it as like, oh,
Speaker 1: Jackson's so crazy that all of a sudden they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is serious. He needs some help. So this was
Speaker 1: a missed opportunity for them to sort of like hear
Speaker 1: what Danny said and be like, we should be coming
Speaker 1: at him with compassion and understanding instead of like, why'd
Speaker 1: you take a drink in the closet with a janet.
Speaker 2: She was uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: You know, that's exactly right, And it makes me think
Speaker 3: that it's less about their compassion and concern and it's
Speaker 3: more about revenge or payback or making a show. I
Speaker 3: don't know though, right I can't read into that too
Speaker 3: much because there's too many other contextual like unknowns, But
Speaker 3: it does beg that question, well, how much do you
Speaker 3: really care about your friend? If no one tried, Like
Speaker 3: if that were me and I were sitting in that group,
Speaker 3: I would have been like, wow, Danny, thank you so
Speaker 3: much for sharing, thank you for being vulnerable.
Speaker 2: That was hard to say.
Speaker 3: You yeah, like something like thank you, you know whatever.
Speaker 3: But they it was just like total silence.
Speaker 1: So and then like, let's talk, Ga Jackson, you have
Speaker 1: any regrets, And he's like, oh, I regret that my
Speaker 1: wife is a bitch and put me in rehab. And
Speaker 1: I regret that I didn't get botox twenty four hours
Speaker 1: when I got home. I did it forty eight. And
Speaker 1: I regret that my haircut's not high and tight enough.
Speaker 1: You're just like, where are they regrets? It's more about
Speaker 1: I'm just having a hard day, man, just having a
Speaker 1: hard day. Okay, everybody here's having a hard day.
Speaker 3: Has life is hard for everybody. But you know, Jack's
Speaker 3: another term I used for it. He loves to take
Speaker 3: a swim in the pitypool. People in active addiction, like
Speaker 3: they love a pittypool moment. You know, they swim and
Speaker 3: then until they get pruney and they're like nope, I'm
Speaker 3: not coming out. And it's like, well, that's why you're pruney,
Speaker 3: my friend, your brain is pruney.
Speaker 1: That is so funny. Now you told me that you
Speaker 1: are watching Next Gen n y C. I dipped in
Speaker 1: and out of it just because I've got so many
Speaker 1: other shows on my plate. But it was on last
Speaker 1: night and I kind of was like, Okay, who's mad
Speaker 1: at who?
Speaker 2: Because of why?
Speaker 1: I know that they were making fun of Arianna for
Speaker 1: saying she had a clothing line because she has no style.
Speaker 1: I was like, ooh, it's not nice. I know that
Speaker 1: Brooks was saying last night that his mother had terrible
Speaker 1: style until he got a hold of her, which I
Speaker 1: sort of loved because she was she was saying something
Speaker 1: about this is my style, like monochromatic igains. You don't
Speaker 1: even know what your style is. I know, I'm the
Speaker 1: one that told you what your style was. And she's like, okay, Rooks.
Speaker 2: That was great.
Speaker 1: And what was going on with Riley? Candy Setter? Tell
Speaker 1: me what was happening there, because I'm trying to understand
Speaker 1: there's some sort of allegations of racism, So tell me
Speaker 1: what that's about.
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, So this is what happened. Charlie is there's
Speaker 3: a couple of housewives kids, and then there's like other
Speaker 3: other cast members, and Charlie is the oldest cast member
Speaker 3: at age thirty. We don't know why he's there, but
Speaker 3: he's a spoiled rich kid. He is a trust baby,
Speaker 3: right but I think he trades very little crypto and
Speaker 3: just does more, you know, cashing his allowance checks allegedly.
Speaker 3: But Charlie had an issue with Riley, and when he
Speaker 3: confronted her about the issue, he wagged his finger and
Speaker 3: rolled his head and pursed his lips, imitating Riley as
Speaker 3: a black woman. Oh and yeah, yeah, it was real ugly.
Speaker 3: It was gross and it was bad.
Speaker 2: And did everybody just like look at him, like, bro,
Speaker 2: what are you doing? Well?
Speaker 3: Not as so they didn't show anyone standing up to him,
Speaker 3: they showed. So Riley stood up for herself, and she
Speaker 3: did it in such an elegantly beautiful way because listen,
Speaker 3: people of color, they don't owe the explanation to anybody.
Speaker 3: But she gave it to him anyway, and she let
Speaker 3: him know, this is a microaggression, this is what you did,
Speaker 3: this is how you did it. And of course, because
Speaker 3: he is probably a king baby himself, Charlie, he just
Speaker 3: ran away from the situation and said, well, I'm not racist,
Speaker 3: and then just continued on his bullshit like he's a
Speaker 3: real bravo guy. Let's you know, let's be he fits
Speaker 3: in well with the Jesse's and the Jackses, like he's
Speaker 3: just a junior version. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so but
Speaker 3: apparently in that scene that was cut out, I think
Speaker 3: Mandy Slutsker told me this is that Brooks did stand
Speaker 3: up for her. Because the one thing I love about
Speaker 3: this cast is that they are intolerant to intolerance. And
Speaker 3: that's something that I absolutely love.
Speaker 2: Is that generation really.
Speaker 3: Yes, which which is just like it warms my heart
Speaker 3: because so many people on the show are gay or
Speaker 3: pan sexual or trans, and so they take that very seriously.
Speaker 3: And when Candy Burris found out about what happened. Oh
Speaker 3: my god, did she blow her top? But I just
Speaker 3: Riley handled it in such a beautiful way to explain
Speaker 3: to him. She kept her cool, but she stuck to
Speaker 3: her guns that like, this is microggression, that's not okay.
Speaker 3: And so in this last episode, Charlie was confronted by
Speaker 3: Georgia about like, nobody on the show likes you. Why
Speaker 3: are you here? And then he pulled to Jackson was like, well,
Speaker 3: no one on the show would have been cast if
Speaker 3: it wasn't for me. I was like, oh, Charlie, you're
Speaker 3: Jax Junior. You're saying this is your show, bro, That's wild.
Speaker 1: Wasn't he just a part of that guy that got
Speaker 1: kidnapped and beat up?
Speaker 3: He was? And I can tell you about that because
Speaker 3: I read the article. So Charlie was CouchSurfing on this
Speaker 3: crypto guy's couch and the guy allegedly but you can
Speaker 3: read about it google it. He and Charlie were in
Speaker 3: the apartment and the guy who was arrested I think
Speaker 3: his name was John. He was charged with torturing his
Speaker 3: Italian cryptocurrency partner, including like torture, taser, electrocution, and allegedly
Speaker 3: Charlie was there so because he was.
Speaker 1: Trying to get the guy's he was trying to get
Speaker 1: the crypto passwords for that guy's crypto.
Speaker 2: Okay, guy's a crypto bro.
Speaker 1: Listen, not every story about any crypto bro, somebody's always dead,
Speaker 1: somebody ends up dead orally scrypto bro stories every single time.
Speaker 1: So the fact that they were like, yeah, this show's
Speaker 1: about to start and this guy Charlie was staying at
Speaker 1: this place where this other guy was being like tortured
Speaker 1: for his passwords was by the way, he never gave
Speaker 1: the passwords. They ended up throwing him out on the
Speaker 1: street because he was like he was like, all right,
Speaker 1: well he didn't give it to.
Speaker 2: Us, We'll just let you go.
Speaker 1: Could have gone the other way. It goes at the
Speaker 1: other way with a lot of these crypto bras, they
Speaker 1: get killed. So for sure, fascinating. So for sure if there,
Speaker 1: I don't know if they're going to have a reunion
Speaker 1: or what, but it seems like it'll be one of those.
Speaker 2: With Charlie.
Speaker 1: Maybe we don't know him, because then again maybe not.
Speaker 1: We are talking about Bravo.
Speaker 3: You're right, we are talking about Bravo. So who knows,
Speaker 3: but it just seems like going forward, I don't see
Speaker 3: how it would be possible for him because every like
Speaker 3: the rest of the cast, they're really lovely, tolerant, smart,
Speaker 3: good people, and I just think he's that one thing
Speaker 3: that just doesn't fit in, doesn't belong. But you're right,
Speaker 3: we'll have to see. I hope there is a reunion
Speaker 3: because the cast not only is it surprisingly good because
Speaker 3: I wasn't even going to cover it, but then I
Speaker 3: watched it, I'm like, oh, this is good. The other
Speaker 3: cute thing for me that came out of this last
Speaker 3: episode is that Riley and Arion who were on Atlanta
Speaker 3: when they were like five together, and they flashed back
Speaker 3: to their cute little face. Oh my god, I almost died.
Speaker 3: They're literal best friends now, and I swear to you
Speaker 3: I could have cried real tears because I just feel
Speaker 3: like Kim Zolciak is still on her bullshit of stealing
Speaker 3: money from people allegedly, so which is why she and
Speaker 3: Candy right, they don't that. That's why they fell out,
Speaker 3: And now Kim is just taking money from her own child.
Speaker 3: That's a whole other thing. But I love that Riley
Speaker 3: and Arianna are just the best of friends. I just
Speaker 3: think that's the sweetest Bravo like unexpected connection.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like it. I like it too.
Speaker 1: And I mean, but Kim Zolsiak has four other kids, yes,
Speaker 1: four other young children. And it was interesting because I
Speaker 1: did see that whole first episode when Ariana we just
Speaker 1: like came out of the gate with like, no, my
Speaker 1: parents stole money.
Speaker 2: They stole my money.
Speaker 1: I did you know tiktoks and Instagram lives and Amazon
Speaker 1: everything from the time I was, you know, fourteen and
Speaker 1: never saw a dime. It was my money and they
Speaker 1: stole it. Like she didn't say like she's she thought
Speaker 1: outside stole oh, and she did it.
Speaker 3: And she went to watch What Happens Life recently and
Speaker 3: Andy confronted her about this, and she doubled down and
Speaker 3: said the same thing. And Andy asked, well, did you
Speaker 3: tell your parents that you were going to be saying this,
Speaker 3: and she said yes. Ariana said, I want to be
Speaker 3: clear that it wasn't just my mom. It was my
Speaker 3: mom and my dad, and I told them that I
Speaker 3: was going to be telling the truth about this. And
Speaker 3: I think people need to understand how great of a
Speaker 3: thing that is for Ariana to do to tell her
Speaker 3: truth because she is still quote unquote best friends with
Speaker 3: her mom, which I swear I could do a whole
Speaker 3: podcast deep dive into that because I think that's really interesting.
Speaker 3: But I love that she didn't keep their secrets and
Speaker 3: she just hold it very matter of factly. But I
Speaker 3: watch what Happens life. She also said that they did
Speaker 3: the same thing to Brielle.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sure, well yeah, first, and they ran out
Speaker 1: of her money, so they went to Ariana's correct, Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I think that Arianna does still pay for things
Speaker 3: because of her siblings. I think that Kim and Kroy well, so,
Speaker 3: Arianna said that she basically doesn't really talk to Croy anymore,
Speaker 3: like he'll always be her dad, So she still talks
Speaker 3: to her mom, they're best friends. She doesn't talk to Croy.
Speaker 3: But I think she does this stuff for her siblings.
Speaker 3: I just wish she would have better boundaries and understand
Speaker 3: that her mom's poor choices aren't her responsibility. And I
Speaker 3: think Kim should feel ashamed of herself for being willing
Speaker 3: to put her child behind the starting line so that
Speaker 3: she could ball on social media, because let's face it,
Speaker 3: this is not money going for food stamps or clo.
Speaker 3: You know, this is Kim's living large. She's doing the
Speaker 3: same thing she's sows doing. And the other note is
Speaker 3: that Ariana, when Andy asked about her gambling, she shut
Speaker 3: down really quick and she said, I'm not going to
Speaker 3: discuss that, which fair right, fair enough, and I and
Speaker 3: I understand and respect her desire to keep that private,
Speaker 3: but it was very telling the response.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I need to catch up and watch what happens
Speaker 1: live too. That's another thing I need to because sometimes
Speaker 1: like I save them up, Like last night, I would
Speaker 1: try to like stay up because I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I think it's going to be somebody from the valley,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, I gotta go to bed.
Speaker 3: It's hard being this content creator in middle age man,
Speaker 3: so it's hard.
Speaker 2: Really quick.
Speaker 1: Speaking of middle age, are are you watching the current
Speaker 1: season of Atlanta?
Speaker 2: We just had the finale.
Speaker 1: I am, yes, yes, okay, So what do we think
Speaker 1: about because I missed I missed the whole episode wherever
Speaker 1: this guy Marcus whatever his name was, whenever he came
Speaker 1: in he said, let's toast to Charles Ugley being a
Speaker 1: cheater or whatever. I missed that entire party. So I
Speaker 1: either missed one or two episodes because I left them
Speaker 1: in Grenada and they were Grenada, and then I came
Speaker 1: back and then we're at the finale. So okay, First
Speaker 1: of all, they just a constantly calling, constantly calling Britt
Speaker 1: a whore. I mean just like it's just NonStop. It's
Speaker 1: just like, well, you're a whore. I'm like, wow, wow,
Speaker 1: So that's crazy. So then we had and she didn't
Speaker 1: She's not going to the Union. She's doing Bravo, which
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, okay, And then the whole thing
Speaker 1: about they bring in this guy and Charles Oakley's like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to kick this guy's ass in the middle
Speaker 1: of this charity event.
Speaker 2: Like, and she's like, you have to trust me. She
Speaker 2: should have told him beforehand. You have to trust me.
Speaker 2: This guy's going to come in and tell the truth.
Speaker 1: But it seems like the guy came in and did
Speaker 1: not tell the truth and said it was Phaedra.
Speaker 3: Right, And Phaedra was like, we were all like not again, Faedra, No,
Speaker 3: just like She's like.
Speaker 2: I just got back in this grip.
Speaker 3: You don't think I would do that. But honestly, here's
Speaker 3: that's the problem. When people lie about really huge things.
Speaker 3: You can't trust them, you can't believe things that they say.
Speaker 3: So to me, this whole Michiga, it's like, it's so confusing,
Speaker 3: you don't know who to believe. I kind of believe
Speaker 3: that it was Britt. I think brit is, like, while
Speaker 3: they shouldn't have been calling her a whore, Britt is
Speaker 3: one of the most problematic people housewives to be added
Speaker 3: to Bravo. I would argue in a really long time,
Speaker 3: I think she has dangerous qualities. I think her behavior
Speaker 3: is incredibly concerning, and quite frankly, I'm glad that she's
Speaker 3: suing the net, suing the network so she won't be back.
Speaker 3: But I definitely I tend to think it was more her,
Speaker 3: and I don't know that Phager would really do that
Speaker 3: to herself. After not only burning the bridge with Bravo
Speaker 3: that she's getting a second chance, she also burned the
Speaker 3: bridge with her married to medicine people, which I died
Speaker 3: When i Am brought that up, She's like, you can't
Speaker 3: make any friend groups work, and I was like, ooh,
Speaker 3: and you know, the oak is right. The Oak is right.
Speaker 3: Aunt Phedra cannot make any of her friendship's work. And
Speaker 3: when that is the case. You got to look at
Speaker 3: the common denominator.
Speaker 1: I do not believe Phaedra would come back for half
Speaker 1: of a season and screw it up that badly.
Speaker 2: I just don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think she would hire this guy. And I
Speaker 1: love how Cynthia Bayle was like, Now, Phaede's a lawyer.
Speaker 1: You know, she's not handed somebody an envelope of anything,
Speaker 1: you know, meet this guy at a bar and hand
Speaker 1: him an envelope like a dossier, like go to this party,
Speaker 1: say to this group when it's time to do is
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, no, I know, but.
Speaker 3: She did lie about you know, Candy and Todd wanting
Speaker 3: to assault Portia, which like, so to me, it's like, well,
Speaker 3: as a lawyer, I can't use that anymore because as
Speaker 3: a lawyer, she should have known how egregious that would
Speaker 3: have been. So I don't I find her funny, But
Speaker 3: I do tend to agree with you that I don't
Speaker 3: see her trying to actively do something to mess this up,
Speaker 3: especially after the first time around.
Speaker 1: And especially because Kenya just got kicked off like four
Speaker 1: weeks before for doing something horrible and you kind of
Speaker 1: have to be on your piece and ues you can't
Speaker 1: be meeting some guy named Marcus in a bar and
Speaker 1: handed it him an envelope.
Speaker 2: I just don't. I just don't believe that happened. I
Speaker 2: really don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know who did it, but I don't believe
Speaker 1: Fa did it. And maybe I'm just a Phaedra apologist.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes we have our people in Bravo and
Speaker 1: we just can't see. Like, even when you're saying the
Speaker 1: whole thing about Candy and Todd, my whole thinking is like,
Speaker 1: here's what I think. I think she knew that Candy
Speaker 1: and Todd where swingers are like to bring a girl
Speaker 1: in sometimes and fine, that's who cares, that's their marriage.
Speaker 1: But and they've admitted to that too, And I think
Speaker 1: that I think Pedra had some drinks and got carried
Speaker 1: away with her own story. That's what I think happened.
Speaker 1: I think she said. I think she fully said that
Speaker 1: thing about they're trying to like drug you and take
Speaker 1: you home. But I think she got carried away with
Speaker 1: she heard somebody, somebody say, oh yeah, Porscha was saying
Speaker 1: she's going to go home with them, and she goes, well,
Speaker 1: I heard just to make it the words of my
Speaker 1: Daddy makes a better story, just to put a little
Speaker 1: spice on it. She didn't know, she didn't know how far,
Speaker 1: and then she had to like stick with her lie,
Speaker 1: you know. So she shouldn't have done it, and she
Speaker 1: should have got kicked off for it, that's true. But
Speaker 1: now she's back. I don't think. I mean, I'm sure
Speaker 1: this filming was like only a month or two because
Speaker 1: she had to come on post Kenya. They had to
Speaker 1: bring her own, right, So I don't think they're like,
Speaker 1: we're bringing you in at half salary, will show you,
Speaker 1: show us what you could do, and then we'll bring
Speaker 1: you back on if you can not cause any major problems.
Speaker 2: She's not gonna do.
Speaker 3: This simply, and you know what that point like, simply
Speaker 3: for her bag. I don't know that she would fuck
Speaker 3: this up right, pardon my language, simply for you know,
Speaker 3: because Phaeder really is looking at trying to be a mogul.
Speaker 3: She's you know, molding her sons, who, by the way,
Speaker 3: are just the most amazing creatures. Just you know, Dylan's
Speaker 3: like making these clothes and Andy war a Phaedra brought
Speaker 3: Andy leather pants that Dylan made for him. He wore
Speaker 3: them and watch What Happens Live, and you know what,
Speaker 3: Honest to god, they were really cute. They were really adorable.
Speaker 1: And happens when I miss watch and watch What Happens
Speaker 1: long and I got to get on it.
Speaker 3: Yes again, but I get we got a sleep girl, right,
Speaker 3: you know, Middle Ages calling it at ten o'clock. She's like,
Speaker 3: come on, it's time. So but yes, to your point,
Speaker 3: I agree that it probably wasn't her. But when the
Speaker 3: when Marcus called her the Godmother of Atlanta, I was
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, that's hilarious.
Speaker 1: She's in that outfit with those feathers, and she's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: keep your friends close to your enemy's closer. I'm the godmother.
Speaker 1: I'm so funny. I'm excited about the reunion. Now I'm
Speaker 1: excited about the res.
Speaker 3: And it's funny because we're going back and forth about
Speaker 3: what Fadri did in the past, but they revisited. Did
Speaker 3: you see the preview for the reunion?
Speaker 2: Oh I haven't seen it.
Speaker 3: Yes, they they Shamia and Portia start to argue about
Speaker 3: Candy and what happened, and then Fadri gets looped into it.
Speaker 3: So it's almost like a very delayed continuation of that reunion.
Speaker 3: Where it all blew up. So I'm going to be
Speaker 3: like seated with a magnifying glass. Yes, very excited to
Speaker 3: watch all of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, now, Miami I also caught up on, and I
Speaker 1: did miss a little bit of that episode where they
Speaker 1: were in Milan or wherever they were for fashion week.
Speaker 1: Larsa and Lisa wear me completely out. I don't want
Speaker 1: to hear anything else about them. I'm tired of I
Speaker 1: just I just want Marisol and Alexia on my screen
Speaker 1: as a freakin' frack a Lucian eth That's all. I
Speaker 1: just need a show it just them, basically, is what
Speaker 1: I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Can I, Mary Payne, Can I tell you something so fascinating?
Speaker 3: So I never watched Miami because I feel allergic to Larsa,
Speaker 3: like literally itchy, like physically my throat starts to close it.
Speaker 3: I can't take it. So and I always felt that
Speaker 3: way about her, even like pre you know, whatever she's
Speaker 3: doing with herself now. And that's the same reason I
Speaker 3: didn't start watching vander pump Roles initially because I felt
Speaker 3: the same way about Jax. I felt itchy and allergic
Speaker 3: to him, which I'm glad to know. I still got it,
Speaker 3: and my assessment skills are still spot on. I cannot.
Speaker 3: So I started watching the season seven, the first several episodes,
Speaker 3: because I was like, I just got to dive in.
Speaker 3: I got to get into it. Larsa annoys me so much.
Speaker 3: Lisa also, but Larsa just is just gives like no empathy.
Speaker 3: She like, I don't like the way she talks to
Speaker 3: her kids. I don't like the way she talks about
Speaker 3: her kids. I don't like the way she talks to anyone.
Speaker 3: But Marisol and Alexia are just I love the energy.
Speaker 3: I love everything about them, and I just love Miami.
Speaker 3: The culture. It's so right. It's fun. But don't get
Speaker 3: me wrong. I mean it started with drama like episode one,
Speaker 3: which you don't often see in like the Housewife franchise.
Speaker 3: And so I was like, man, I've been sleeping on Miami.
Speaker 3: So if anyone else listening to this is sleeping on it,
Speaker 3: hit it, get in, because I'm telling you it's really good.
Speaker 1: I never watched it in my life. And then I
Speaker 1: think last year or maybe two years ago, I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, I have to do it. I just started
Speaker 1: from season one because they had those two or three
Speaker 1: seasons and then they had that like eight year break,
Speaker 1: and so.
Speaker 2: I did it. I did the first so and we
Speaker 2: watch it like that.
Speaker 1: It's pretty jarring, especially Larsa looked like an entirely differently different,
Speaker 1: entirely different human.
Speaker 2: You're like Whoa?
Speaker 1: And Adriana as well. I really was like, who is that?
Speaker 1: Are we supposed to believe that's Adriana? She's super annoying.
Speaker 1: If she was in my friend group, I would be
Speaker 1: avoiding at all costs. Julia has always been such a
Speaker 1: sweet baby angel, and I don't know what's gotten into her.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you my theory? Okay, this is my theory.
Speaker 3: I was podcasting with someone and I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, I think I figured it out. So Julia
Speaker 3: lost a son to being shaken, yeah a while back, right,
Speaker 3: and so now she has adopted. They have adopted two sons,
Speaker 3: and I would tend to guarantee that she has unresolved
Speaker 3: grief that is literally triggering her. Because when you see
Speaker 3: someone who they're normally sweet, but then their energy is
Speaker 3: so elevated, it's usually like what is this about for them?
Speaker 3: And I personally believe that having these two new boys
Speaker 3: is triggering a lot of fear around who's around these kids,
Speaker 3: because look at what happened last time. You know, I
Speaker 3: need to attend to them, I need to attend to myself.
Speaker 3: And I think it's causing her at a lot of
Speaker 3: psychological stress. But I can tell that she's not aware
Speaker 3: of it. She may now be, but in that moment,
Speaker 3: I could tell that she was so like afterwards, she
Speaker 3: was like, wait, what did I do? Why did I
Speaker 3: do that? That is very typical of people who have
Speaker 3: had trauma that get triggered and behave in ways that
Speaker 3: are not congruent to who they are. That doesn't mean
Speaker 3: she's a bad person. I think she's just having a
Speaker 3: lot of grief and fear and she's just very triggered.
Speaker 3: That's my thought, and I could make sense.
Speaker 1: It makes a lot of sense. It makes a lot
Speaker 1: of sense. Well, I love Miami, So I'm looking forward
Speaker 1: to the Atlanta reunion. I'm looking forward to continue watching Miami.
Speaker 1: I'm going to continue to just dip in and out
Speaker 1: of Next Gen n YC. Because even this week when
Speaker 1: I was watching it, there was a new girl on there.
Speaker 1: She was like a club promoter or something, and she
Speaker 1: was trying to host meritiths part as like who's that.
Speaker 2: I don't remember her?
Speaker 3: Oh Georgia, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I remember her.
Speaker 1: I don't know a new person already gonna get a
Speaker 1: hold of like ninety day cast.
Speaker 2: I'm like, who are these people?
Speaker 3: Yeah, listen, maybe the show is just not for you.
Speaker 3: I think for me, I always look out what do
Speaker 3: I genuinely feel interested in watching or covering? And I
Speaker 3: just think you have to listen to that because if
Speaker 3: you're not into it, like it's you know, it's not
Speaker 3: going to be fun, and you know, you cover a
Speaker 3: lot of other things too, So maybe it's not just
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 2: But she sent me with Summer Else. I tried it.
Speaker 2: I tried it so many times. I just can't. I know.
Speaker 2: I know it makes me.
Speaker 1: A liability that for other like Bravo podcasters that might
Speaker 1: want to talk about it, but I'm like, I can't.
Speaker 1: I could talk about Paties Sorbo being cute and having
Speaker 1: great style. I could talk about that.
Speaker 2: I know that. That's all I know.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I met Lindsay at Bravo Con two years ago. She's
Speaker 1: very tall, very tall, Yes, that's all. I got nice
Speaker 1: and she lovely.
Speaker 2: She was fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey, I was like, literally I didn't say to her,
Speaker 1: I don't know you, I don't want your show.
Speaker 2: I was just like Lindsay and I get a picture.
Speaker 1: She's like absolutely girl, and I was like, let me
Speaker 1: get on my tiptoes to get up to your armpit.
Speaker 2: But yeah, she was totally nice. Well that is it.
Speaker 2: I think we've covered it all.
Speaker 1: I think we in the words of Sean Robinson on
Speaker 1: a ninety Day Reunion, we're not going to solve this today.
Speaker 1: Sean Robinson says that she'll be talking to a couple
Speaker 1: and they can say, well, you know, when I was seven,
Speaker 1: my mom was killed, and then I didn't have a mother,
Speaker 1: and then so now I'm married to this woman who's
Speaker 1: fifty five, and I think that's going to take care
Speaker 1: of my issues. But you know, she also murdered somebody
Speaker 1: when she was a child, so it's fine. And Sean
Speaker 1: robinson't go, you know what, We're not going to solve
Speaker 1: it today.
Speaker 2: Let's move on. And you're like, wait a minute, what.
Speaker 3: I do love Sean Robinson and her transitions, they are
Speaker 3: pretty closs.
Speaker 2: She's like, we wish you the best. Wait a minute, wait, this.
Speaker 3: Is above my pay grade and we've got to move on.
Speaker 2: Now she's like, somebody told me she's always doing this.
Speaker 2: I've just been told You're like, did you what show this?
Speaker 3: Why I would die to be in the position of
Speaker 3: Sean or like on a reunion, because it's so much
Speaker 3: rich opportunity that, you know, you don't necessarily get to
Speaker 3: delve into those deeper pieces that I would just scratch
Speaker 3: and dig and I'd get in there amazing.
Speaker 1: So as they've had like Kenny and Armando on Kenny,
Speaker 1: You'll be like, excuse me, I need to I need
Speaker 1: to follow up, like can Kenny.
Speaker 2: Ow's the reunion?
Speaker 3: Yes? Literally, I love that. Oh my god, they're this
Speaker 3: absolute sweetest couple. I adore them. So put me in coach,
Speaker 3: whoever's listening, I'm ready. I can do it.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, we've we've heard that for this hunt
Speaker 1: for Level to be the next reunion we get, which
Speaker 1: is the like the secondary show that's on now. We
Speaker 1: have heard that Suki that does the Sister Wives reunion
Speaker 1: is going to be doing this next reunion and that
Speaker 1: we don't know if it's a tryout and if she's
Speaker 1: good she'll replace Sean Robinson or if they're gonna put
Speaker 1: Suki on like the secondary shows and keep Sean Robinson
Speaker 1: on the higher level shows.
Speaker 2: But we would we we just we just so to
Speaker 2: switch it.
Speaker 3: Up to switch Yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree. Could
Speaker 3: you some fresh fresh face?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd love a ninety day Bravo crossover. It makes
Speaker 1: me so happy that you watch everything like I do.
Speaker 3: I do, and so I'm taking a break from my
Speaker 3: podcast right now, but when I come back you, I
Speaker 3: will definitely be having you on because I think that
Speaker 3: there's a lot that we can discuss in the ninety
Speaker 3: world too. Yeah, so I can't wait to have you
Speaker 3: on when I come back. I just need to do
Speaker 3: it because a girl needed a minute as finally do that.
Speaker 2: You should do that.
Speaker 1: Tell everybody though where they can follow you in the
Speaker 1: meanwhile until your podcast comes back.
Speaker 3: Yes, so you can follow me at your bish bish
Speaker 3: Therapist on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Blue Sky YouTube. And so
Speaker 3: I'm on my break for my free podcast which is
Speaker 3: available everywhere, but I also have a Patreon that is
Speaker 3: on and pop in. We do chats I post so
Speaker 3: like when I do my em and M hours with
Speaker 3: Mandy Slutskert, and I'll still do episodes like on my breaks.
Speaker 3: But I just post it for Patreon members, so if
Speaker 3: you're interested in hearing me during my break and getting
Speaker 3: a little bit more unfiltered bish, because I feel safer
Speaker 3: to do it there right, Like people can really control.
Speaker 3: So my Patreon is a little bit I can be
Speaker 3: a little bit more of myself. So if you if
Speaker 3: you want to check that out, please check out your
Speaker 3: bish therapist on Patreon.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Mandy, you know, is a good friend of mine. We
Speaker 1: see each other all the time in DC.
Speaker 3: Yeah. She tells me, Oh, she's the beast, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: the three of us, I feel like we have to
Speaker 3: do something together.
Speaker 2: It's just the two of you might be too smart
Speaker 2: for me. I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker 3: Oh stop that right now.
Speaker 1: Guess you guys are very, very smart and very Mandy
Speaker 1: always has these like deep takes and I'm like, wow, Mandy,
Speaker 1: I was just trying to talk about you know, Jack
Speaker 1: saying he wasn't going to take the dishes, but you
Speaker 1: took it to another level.
Speaker 3: I know. That's why we love each other though, because
Speaker 3: if you look into every corner and crevice, but no,
Speaker 3: you would fit in perfectly and we would love to
Speaker 3: have you anytime as a guest. On eminem O. It
Speaker 3: could be eminem and m oh my god, stop that
Speaker 3: right now, emin em and m Okay, it's happening. It's
Speaker 3: all happening, everybody. Ashina would say.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, and everybody please follow me. If you're listening
Speaker 1: over on Pink Shape Pod on Instagram, it's Pink Shape
Speaker 1: Podcast on TikTok. It's all the same stuff in both
Speaker 1: places because I don't know how to do specific stuft
Speaker 1: for TikTok, but anyway, follow me. I'm always putting out
Speaker 1: some fun reels. I'll put one out about this one today.
Speaker 1: We've got to think about what was the funniest thing
Speaker 1: Melissa said, and we'll put it out there. So everybody
Speaker 1: follow at your bish therapist and at Pink Shade Pod,
Speaker 1: and I will be back to talk to you guys
Speaker 1: about We've got the Valley episode coming out on Wednesday.
Speaker 1: This is Thursday. Hunt for Love is out on Friday,
Speaker 1: so see you tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Bye bye